Reclaim Your Heart
Channel: Yasmin Mogahed
File Size: 78.08MB
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It is a privilege and an honor to be here in your beautiful country for the first time.
This is the end of a long,
but fruitful tour of Malaysia, as well as Australia, New Zealand and
I am privileged to be here to speak about a topic that I have given much of my life's work to. And that is the topic of repayment.
We click here harder is not a book that I wrote, in one sitting, it's not a book that I wrote, even in one year, I think your heart is almost a chronicle of my own life journey and my own life lessons. And so I would say that quote, in a lot of life experiences, blood, sweat and tears into the scope of this is a book about how we can start to live in this life without being a slave to the slide about how we can live in Kenya without allowing Kenya to own us. And this is not an easy thing to do. Many people drowned in this ocean.
Whatever the analogies that are used in the book, is an analogy of the mineralogy and a chemical or head says that the hearts are like shifts in the ocean of this life. And he compares the idea to an abortion. Now, if you think about the ocean, in the Himalayan you have perfect experiences that being on the coast, and having that that huge body of water to look and realize that when we look at the ocean,
it is something that is beautiful, from the shore is something that is can also be very useful.
But the ocean is something that as long as the ship remains afloat, as long as the ship does not allow the ocean to enter, then the ship can remain flowing. And it's only when the ship allows the ocean to enter
that sense. And similarly, he explains as the horse or like ships in this ocean of bleeding. And as long as we keep good data outside of our hearts, then the Julia won't destroy us. As long as we keep the data in our hands, rather than in our hearts, then the Divya cannot destroy us. Why do people become home? Why do people become destroyed in this life? And the answer is just like our ship. All of us know the story of the text in the text versus ship. It was the greatest of its time. In fact, it was called the unsinkable ship.
They were so
proud of their craftsmanship that they actually bought it.
And what does it
as one of the most tragic to see things.
And what was it that destroyed such such a massive ship, it was simply that the ocean into the ship. It was simply that the ship had had been damaged due to the expert and then there should be ocean water into the ship. And that's all it took to destroy even the most of the masses, and even the most rigorous
and it literally broke in half and sunken. And that's exactly what happens to her. If they allow the attention. When you allow the media to become deep inside of your job when you allow yourself to love data
in a way that you're not supposed to love. That's when the universe rises. And so Reclaim Your heart is about this
process of taking our hearts back take
back from the media and from the things that we've given up,
because every single person loves something, and every single person actually worships something, even or not even an atheist has something that they worship.
It might not be the football, it might not be God.
But it is something that they lotion. For some people, it's their money. For some people, it's their status. For some people, it's power, or fame.
For some people, it might be another person in their life.
But everyone sees something that they can kind of see.
And the question is, what are we slaves to? Whatever we take into our hearts, whatever we absorb into the core of our hearts, becomes more mainstream.
And that is why there are people out there who have given their hearts away to money, they have given their hearts away to failing to be famous, they've given their hearts away to the real risks, without giving their hearts away, to tell, or staff. And so it
is about the process of taking the firm back. It's about the process of taking our hearts back from the back from back from status, back from power, back from the creation, and then giving it to OSA.
And that's not an easy process.
It's a process that requires an entity. And then.
And so in the book, what I talked about at the beginning of the book, is I talk about a concept called false attachments. I talk about the process of energy, the heart of false and
the process of energy in the heart are from these other types of motion. Because when we say that
every single one of us says that the law that's what makes the system. But what does it mean to say that
the law is not just a statement of the law.
And Africa also does not just mean that there is no God. But
also means that only on blogs.
It also means that only a law can be at the center of my car, the only almost
can be my master, and slave to only almost.
That's my greatest loss, and my greatest dependence and my greatest fear,
and my greatest hope and my greatest dependence
and relax, it's
much bigger than some of us making.
So how can we live and that is the process of reclaiming your heart. The first part is about detachment, the process of detachment, what does it mean to detach? detachment? Is that process of taking out the other things that are filling our hearts? taking out the bulk of competitors was a loss from the core of our art. Now, does this mean that I can't love for things? Does this mean we can't love our families or we can love our careers and our money? The answer is no. We can love these things. But also
about loving these things as
opposed to power as specifically measures.
Certain things that really all
he says that say if your fathers, your parents, or your children, or your spouse's, or your relatives, your family, your business, your dwelling. If any of these things are more beloved to you, then a lot is messenger and subscribe.
so then the greens until all greens about his decision.
And now what you hear is no wonder any of these things have fallen out of our hands and forearms on our shoulders.
This isn't talking about your boyfriend or your gambling or your alcohol, it's all hand things. And then also Turner
is warning us that if we love even things in the wrong way, we will be conditioned.
if we love our money,
as we shouldn't be,
we will be destroyed by money. If we love our cadets,
children, our parents, all of these things are happening to us, or business. If we don't have any of these things, especially open up a lawsuit, we actually become destroyed by the very thing that I know. And so we have to learn. This is something that many of us are not taught. But we have to learn that there is a right and a wrong way.
And this is one of the most important lessons that I have. And many of us have had said there is no right and wrong way to love our children.
There is a right and wrong way to love our spouses, there is a right and wrong way to love our money, our status, our power, our careers, or business.
So this is about how to learn to love in the right way. Everything is by talking about something called person. And that is a dream that I had when I was 17 years old. In industry, I see a little girl inside the restroom. And she asked me a question. She asked me, Why do people have to leave each other?
It was only 17. Because I didn't know much about what will come later in my life. But I asked this, I have this dream where this little girls asked me this question, why do people have to leave each other?
I haven't experienced this yet. But the question is very personal.
And I realized that this question was very relevant to me, because I was the type of person who was very highly sensitive. And I was a technical person from when I was a child, I would get very attached, and not necessarily in a healthy way. So for example, if I was in a daycare, and my parents had to leave me for a while, and I was one of those kids who needed to start reminding myself
to calm down. My dad has to say that when you start applying.
And so I was very sensitive from the beginning, this is my nature, I was a sent very sensitive daughter. And I would get very attached, it was very hard for me when my parents would have to leave. It was very hard for me. Anytime there was, for example, a problem with one of my friends, I will take it very deep inhale very far. And I have trouble
recovering. And I think this analogy that it's like if you take a vase, and you think that Vegas at the edge of the table, that that base is likely to evolve and grow.
And so what I was dealing with
healthy Texas attachments to my friends, to everything around two moments, to outcomes led to things to work a certain way or else I was devastated. And so what I was doing is I was setting myself up for disappointment over and over and over because I was very unrealistic expectations. My expectations were that this could be
my expectations were that people around me had to be perfect. My expectations were that my relationships have to be perfect. And as a board I was on her way. I didn't know how to accept anything less than perfection. And so what I started to realize and this happened later on in my life
Is that we always learn about love of dunya as being an attachment to material things, we're always taught that love of dignities, and attachments and things like money, or jewelry or cars or big language courses. But what they're not often taught is that love of Boolean, have been looking at this is this destructive disease of the heart can also be unhealthy attachments to people. And that was the realization that changed.
I remember knew this before. And because I didn't notice at the table, the numbers continuously getting bigger, so continuously becoming heartbroken by everyone around me in situations around me. And it was because I was having expectations of this life, as soon as this letter was genuine. And what I realized is that this life is never going to be perfect. And if you expect life to be perfect, it's like trying to extract water from farm. Try not to put your hand in the fire and get water, you're only going to end up hitting burn. And that's what I was doing with my expectations and my intentions. But what I also realize was there are a lot of it had to do with my unhealthy
false attachments to people around me from the very from the very beginning, the type of attachments that I had with my, with the people in my family, all the way to friends. And once I realized this, it changed the way that I interacted with people. And it changed the way I didn't have to do with this.
Now, I finished the chapter by answering the question is read.
But what's interesting about the answer that I gave her is that it was a lesson that I would actually spend my life having to learn. And I didn't understand this at the time when I was 17. But it was a very interesting answer.
She asked me, Why do people have to leave?
And then the truth I said to her, because this lovers is perfect. This is what will generally go What will the next one?
And so this answer really was deeper than I realized at the time. But what we meant was
when we put our full dependence model,
when we put our full dependence on the creation, as we should only depend on the law. It's like a person who's climbing the club
and holds on to a twig.
What happens next week is going to snap and that person is going to fall. Now there's a soul that you held on to it with your full wage growth.
The answer's no. It's powerful, because only a loss of Allah is a handhold. That never breaks for us to our ultimate dependence, our ultimate love our ultimate goal, and our ultimate reliance. A lot of Canada says
that whoever disbelieves will
do what is good for them is
than the other This was easy for movies and relieves A lot has held on to the chest really handled that whenever.
And so this realization was that that's the only way that we can possibly expect them to agree. We cannot expect this from the people around us because they are not.
We cannot click over realistic expectations of Delia and everybody
because they are not with us.
So we have to learn that there is a place for a lot on our hearts. And there is a place for people in our hearts and machines switch that we can't, we can't exchange and if we exchange it, the network cause a lot of pain and
so I went through this journey
was just really the beginning of trying to act as a highly sensitive person. And my perfection is to try to get her to have the proper balance of how to love people give and take from people who have relationships work, and not allow these things to overtake the core of them. So learn to love them the right way to learn how to, to have interact with this life, as it should be, where it's like, it's something that we live in, we enjoy in a holiday, but we realize that it is only temporary. And then people return to our real life, it is only a bridge to the perfect.
And until we realize that we continue to get
there's the second half of this chapter, the second chapter
is people leave before they return. And this chapter is about what happens when we lose things in life. Are they lost forever? Or do they return in a different way, maybe a better way. And I don't want to reflect on the stories that are told in
the story of of the loss, that profits PCs.
And I reflect on whether or not this loss is permanent, or whether this these things will return. And take for example, the Mona Lisa,
and how the lover of Busan center had to let go of her son, and then also told her
as a baby, can you imagine how not to do this, to put your own child in the river. And then also asked the governor,
to have enough will not have him to have people
to be able to let go of her baby and to believe in the horror harder.
Then that's all
that we're prepared.
Because the last time I made a promise, she looked over at who's
in your booth, he laid a lot almost performance. And it's not like a cause is there a human being is because the Kindred cause.
This is the cause of the law.
And she promised the mother ever said
you should trust in him.
He will return it to you. And so she was tested in her lands. But she put her trust
that you will return to her.
Now this is very interesting because he was living at a time where heroes killing babies is a policy. If you think about when you're scared for something that every law, maybe you're scared of losing something that you love
your skin, your money, are you scared losing a status? Are you scared of losing your power or losing someone? And
usually what do we do? Do we hold on tighter? Or do we let go?
And the answer is we hope
we get closer
to reality reaction. That's our refluxes reaction.
But she's being asked to do the opposite. She's being asked to actually put it in a boss. That thing that she was afraid of reasons. The thing that she loved the most she has actually been told to let go and let her know.
And in that moment, in that moment, she's being tested but she is being too
And applause avoid this issue.
So also pattern that is so deserved, we will return to you. And not only did he return most of his mother, she does, gonna in a way that the mother could not have done had she held on to.
And that's very profound. If she had done what a mother's instinct is to do, which is what to hold on.
She she's protecting,
look at the power of a loss.
Not only did he protect most,
look at the sign, pay attention to this. He
said not only the protective heat protected in the house,
look at the mind and the power of the house.
Not only did he silence
it, you know, in the house affair, to show you that in a loss of protection.
Right, even in the literally the mouth of the shark, he was in the house of fear. And mobile protected him there. And in fact, as a spy above me, fair enough ferret himself racist.
And he was he was the one who was killing the babies. He was the one who
escaped, and who was in charge. See, it shows up
a law because the law made fair raising. So not only was it tested, tested in the house as a fairer
and that's the law.
But look at the mercy of the boss,
he could have taken this as a lead
in the mother never saw him again. Right. But he made a promise to the mother. And this is also something that it hit me really deep when I read this is that what was said
she one other
lady. And it also says that he will destroy his mother.
But what really shocked me is the reason
a lot of white people turned her sister's mother
so beautiful. He says that he returned to his mother. And I want you to just realize that this is a historic event. This is something in the Indian revelation, that people will read for till the end of time.
And God did, he said in order to give comfort to his mother.
So that is was
what I said when I said and
almost saying that the sadness, a little bitter. Was wasn't that important to the Lord of the worlds? The feelings of one mother.
You know, sometimes
go through life. And I feel like
chairs, or you know, nobody, nobody knows what legal nobody knows.
Or maybe go cares about my feelings. And sometimes we feel that our feelings are insignificant.
Everyone feels like it's significant to people, but showing us and showing people till the end of time, that the emotions of Wonder Woman
was that important to the Lord of the worlds that he did, historically, and be brought back to the mother.
And then finally because whatever.
And so that she will know that the promise of law is true.
These stories are not just stories.
These stories are lessons.
These stories are inspiration for us in our lives. Because sometimes in life, we're gonna face situations,
inshallah we ever have children,
we will see situations
of loss, we face situations where we have to let go.
And these stories are to inspire us and to make sure that we know that the promise of a law is true.
I'm really, really want to emphasize that our last hour doesn't just tell us stories, so that we can read them to our children before bed, allows the stories to inspire our lives, and to give us direction when we face difficulties, or when we face certain situations in our lives.
Another story that I speak about and gave me a lot of inspiration in my life. And I write about the things a dreamer is the story of who he is,
when he's not an adult, and can stand on the other end, see.
And I love this story. Because this shows the, the trading with a profit. That's the level of profit, the double lines of profit, and what happens when a person has that capability.
that when we are nice to have the people of Moosa Bennett studying, and they're trying to see, and now Pharaoh and Hassan are
so when they saw the army approaching the people with mu silence there are students
in a bit of
the hair hack is indeed we will be taken.
Now, why don't you just imagine for a moment, the situation they're actually in? There's this giant dawn with water on them. And there's a secret behind them, wherever they go.
Think about where are they gonna go? Are they gonna fly? We're gonna go
and we get a job, what are they gonna do? This is a reaction of business is very human. You know, we feel this way since
we don't see a
contrast. And sometimes we respond just like
we respond with it. We're going to be overtaken that says, We sometimes fall into despair.
We lose hope. When we feel
you don't have to face a problem and
you don't see a solution.
You don't see.
Does that happen to us? Yes, we might not be stuck in front of the Red Sea.
maybe we feel trapped by financial problems or relationship problems or health problems, family problems.
And when we feel trapped, and when we don't see a way out, do we respond like very slowly? Indeed, we will be overtaken by email that says we despair. We give our whole
This is so powerful. Look at the response.
He says No way. Absolutely not.
Yeah, the Arabic word for him. That means it doesn't just mean No.
It means by no means absolutely not. Never. What do you mean, whatever the very exact.
Why? Now another thing I want to point out here is, he's confident, but why is he laughing? You know, sometimes we might be confident in a problem.
I have money.
Or we might be confident and calm, don't worry, don't worry, supporters in my in
my power to allow me to be okay I have
a confident because of these things. But
in fact she's in a situation where he can look nothing except in and
he says indeed My Lord is with me.
And he will get you through this.
Indeed My Lord is with me, she will guide you through this. It is so mind blowing,
that he could have that type of confidence in a muscle.
It's easy for us to have confidence when we know they are
going to be okay for the solution.
But what happens is we have no idea what the solution is, what happens if we ever do it all the way out?
There can we still be happy.
And so he has confidence even though he has no idea how he's going to get
on occasion in
saying he will get me out of this.
Well, first and another point this out, because this is extremely relevant and important, almost tells us to take an action.
One of the misunderstandings we have about
about rely on local law is associated with the thing that if I rely on local law, I don't take action.
We still can't speak that
means I sit in our houses, and I do nothing and I just wait to be saved.
oh, God asked us to take an action, even though it was his reliance on God that saved him. But the Lord told him to take action, and also action. He told him to take his staff and scrub the seas.
And was football last season
all the way out for him from a place he could have never imagined. And that is what happens when you
really get harder is about
what is the key?
If I ask you what is up? You see it is to bear witness that there is no bla bla bla. And that's absolutely true.
But what is the lead in love?
What is the lead in?
What is the lead in the violence? What is the lead independent? What is the fear? What does that look like?
And that's really something that many of us, we don't understand. Many of us we say that a lot easier.
But we don't have to pay in love
almost says When will they ask you they will definitely do. And then you should move out
in front of all people. There are those who take
We think about shares. What do we usually think about traders who Sachi maybe making a loss statement or has a son God forbid.
But here are talking about taking a rival with him. You can never be that they love them as they should only love football.
This is rightfully in love.
It is literally love other things when we take riders is the law not in a certain idle
status in our power and in our choosing. And in our spouses.
Deputy please, please, you hate them.
They love that they should only love the law
when it matters
and those who believe are
most intense in the law and law.
Many of us don't understand that rivalry with the loss of that shift that
is not only about prayer loss,
there is still paid either way they have they're still paid either way, we depend, are we dependent on our status? Are we dependent? on our how are we dependent on our money? Are we dependent on a loss?
Talk about a big deal. And the meanings of a big deal? What is the loss of the loss of
the never even
video, so almost says no, the life of this world is played. When a lot begins, he says that this light is clear.
Now, if you think back to when we first entered, this
will still work for us. And that is
what is most important to them to
see right now I have a baby sitting room for children who just recently entered this.
Right? What do you think is happening in that room?
toys, right? Because that's what matters to a job. You can sit there and read a child, you know, a beautiful excerpt from Shakespeare, and
you can give a child a fancy Armani suit, then long as they can put it in their mouth.
But a child wants a toy, or just wants something she wants.
All of this is just about click.
Then I'll go second, in this chronology of losses in this second, left room means entertainment.
Now it means to be entertaining.
Think about this for a second after the rule a little bit. So you're not playing with rattles anymore. But maybe now you're around middle school aged 1012 years. And what's the most important thing to
anyone who's ever worked with a 10 year old a 12 year old children of this age or have children of this age? know that their favorite thing to say is
I'm bored. This is boring.
Right? This is boring.
It's boring. Why? Because they want to be entertained.
They want to be stimulated constantly, right? And now everyone's got an iPhone or something to constantly simulate video games. You know, there's no moment they may be just sick. They have to be entertained. Instinctively. This is called law.
in his wisdom, He created us and we lose our religion and say Yeah.
What's the 30 nose ladder? What was enough? Let me ask you a question. How many people have teenagers?
How many people know that teenage? Okay. Teenagers, they don't care so much about around, maybe their kids as much about you know, being stimulated.
That's very important to a teenager. And that's how they look.
It's how they dress. Now, by the way, this is a time in one's life where you take two hours to get ready for you.
This is the time when eating disorders become you know epidemic. This is the time because people are very concerned about when we look. We have body image issues we are worried about you know, wardrobe wearing brand names are very
In order to get this age, right, I need off your parent. But
right now it's gonna be a specific type of clothes, and very concerned about how they appear. You know what that's called Xena.
It's adornment Get lost.
He says that robot will enter this world is in
play. And then lots of
lab entertainment simulation. And then third is Xena is beautification. on government, we're very concerned about us.
So we have a little older and narrow, we're going to university, we're starting to build a career. And now it's not as important what you wear, or what you look like. It's not as important the entertainment, it's not as it's
not what's important to you.
both see boasting between,
you know, showing off, sure, prove yourself, comparing yourself to others. It's called social media.
platform for me.
So now, compare yourself with your neighbor, to compare yourself with people on the other side of the world. And guess what, now just show off to your neighbor, you know, you can show off to people and
a little better, is to boast, it's to show off, it's this, it's sort of mutually showing off? Well, you know, if you get something new or something fancy, it's like, it's no fun unless you put it on the square. Right? It's not, it's like, it's like I say, it's like, you know, your cat is it fully, you know, it's not fully, so everyone knows about them, and everyone sees the photos.
You know, you feel like, there's this need to put your blessings on the screen.
This is a culture, it's a culture. It's a culture of boasting, you know, they're showing our money, showing our status, showing our power, showing the gifts that the Lord has given us, we want other people to see. And this is part of our business, between when
this happens as we get to that stage in life.
And then later on when we settle down, and then we have children, and we've made more money. And now
what's next? Yeah, so.
And now it's about trying to be more and more money to compete in making more money, this capital, you want to amass more and more of wealth, and achieving now, what are we use to show off?
See, when we're building ourselves a university, we're building our careers and we're talking about our own accomplishments, you know, like, what am I going to show off on your social media or your university, you're going to show off that you're graduating, you're gonna want to show that you got into this medical school, or you got this degree or got this job, I've got this promotion, that's excesses into this, this programmers University this job. So it's a lot of the sort of proving yourself and, and accomplishing
the role and sell a family. Now, what do you use to show off your new show?
Right, it's not so much about your accomplishments anymore, because now your accomplishments are irrelevant. Your children, you know, so we use our wealth to show up in these children to show like, my kid did what your kids do.
And then there's a comparison.
Comparison model child has a half ID and my child, you know, did their hands in it,
you know, so quickly, you know, we should
your cousin spent this much on
this competition with with the children and with well now, Allah knows.
He has a very, very important lesson in this day. He says all of these things need chronological order. Looking at the the miracle of a thread.
He says that all of this is in chronological order. And then what does he say after all the other.
One is in
a bad mood.
He says, it's like a heavy, really,
farmer very happy.
See, all of these things that have been played in the lab, the Xena, the play, the the
Xena, the development, the amusement
the bull scene between one another the amassing and showing off, all of it is like a heavy rain that makes the farmer very happy. Why? Because of the vegetation and the rain rains. But then what happens? Can nasally voice is given the federal
food directly to cook off on the spot raw food.
But what happens to that vegetation,
it starts to dry up,
it starts to become yellow, and then it just becomes green.
And this is the rest of us teaching us that
we can enjoy these things.
We can enjoy the play, we can enjoy the the entertainment for wire, we can enjoy the beautification for water. We can enjoy this, you know, boasting between one another the show that shows
that it is a temporary
and is teaching us that all of these things are what we chases again. But these things will eventually dry up.
They will eventually turn yellow, and they will eventually become hungry.
And after all of this has passed away
all of the things that we chase
for money permanently or doing anything, after it's all passed away with what are remaining.
After that's all passed away, only one or two things will remain
balanced the mercy and will pleasure of Allah or uses
What is it what teaching
law is teaching us how to have perspective.
It's just about
if there is not a religion that tells us that we cannot organize things. If there is not a religion that tells us that we have to spend day and night in messages because
not a religion that tells you that in order to be close to a bar, you can't get married, we can't have children, we can't have a job or you can't have friends, or even in the case of Judaism.
Islam is about perspective. It's about having these babies enjoy these things being involved in this so
he got married, he was a father. He wasn't a friend. She wasn't a leader. He was all of these things.
He was a husband.
But it's about
it's about realizing that these things are temporary and you should not become attached to them.
We should learn to be able to make
that handhold that foundation of what we're really holding on to almost
because everything else is temporary.
Everything else is just
now real is the last kind of how to do ours mercy
He gives us these things and better engender.
So we're very in this
beauty. Let me ask this question
will we really spend a lot of money trying to make it last?
You know, plastic surgery, Botox ever kind of thing.
We're trying very hard to make something that is not for a minute.
See, here's the reason why
you and I have something that a lot that you
could do better. You and I have something in our hearts that are local. And that is that we desire things that are permanent, and perfect.
Because this is not a home.
This is actually
we're just traveling,
And so we your home. What's your home?
Kevin, Jen is actually our own. Gender is where we started, our father started.
And Gemma is very desperately old.
And great. And gender is.
Gender doesn't have roles. You know, we don't have people's agenda.
We don't have sickness in general.
We don't have divorces in general, we have death in general. We don't have cancer, we have pain.
We don't have injuries.
Gender is perfect.
In our house, we are building it for our home. But here's our mistake.
Or mistake is to make this.
And never really.
And actually that was the mistake that I was doing. And that's why
it's because I wasn't realizing.
you see the answer that that little girl got from me in the dream was because this
was perfect. What would the next slide?
It was that realization that.
Yes, we as human beings, we yearn for what was lasting. We don't want to believe that things come to an end. It hurts us. We don't want to let go.
We want our beauty to last forever. We want our country to last forever. We want our health to last forever. We want our love to last forever. We want our children and our health and happiness last forever.
And so many of us try to do that.
And that's why we get hurt.
And that's why many of us become damaged by that.
We become shattered by your name. And that's because you're asking David to be something that cannot.
You're asking it to be something that it was never created to be is temporary or loss of
Do you prefer the life of this world when the Hereafter is better and more lasting? You see the customer was asking us he's asking how can you afford this? Over the next? Well this is temporary.
No matter how good he gets to this, let me ask you this question.
No matter how good it gets for you. If
you ever have real problems, you may have fun, but you have no problems.
No matter how good it gets. Does it watch forever
it is not
it is not eternal.
Be at your gym, gym, it is.
So awesome is asking us how can we control this?
When we have a home waiting for us, that is perfect. And
putting all the stuff
in know, struggle over a
So she was never here
so as to be
be. So based on
So to answer this question, there are a lot of things that my parents taught us. But when I reflect on our upbringing,
there are certain things that really stand out. And I'll just highlight those. First is that and I believe this is extremely important. My father was very supportive of our education. And so and so for sure. But the reason I like the father is that I really believe that a father has a very, very important practically it's especially in raising daughters, as well as what are the things that I learned
was a lot of my confidence and my sister's confidence, both of my sisters, we three girls, and our confidence, I feel like a lot of energy from America.
In that he really taught us that we could accomplish that. Or, you know, he he never had sons. He only had three daughters. And he he never told us that or because your girls you can't accomplish or because you're girls, you're limited in your education, of course.
But, you know,
but in terms of like our education and insurances, like our home shaming thing, he's really put in us that there was a limit in our accomplishments because of the rules. And so I think that that was a big part of it. And the other thing that I learned from my mother, and really, really stuck with me, is she, well, she, she really taught us to be strong. She was a she's a very strong woman, Mashallah, she, she doesn't
she, she wasn't passive. You know, I think a lot of times women are taught to be passive. So she's very, very strong. She told us that. But one of the most admirable things I think about my peers is that they did something which most people were not doing at that time. And it might seem very unrelated to parenting.
But I want to point this out, because this is how
they were very careful about keeping everyone clean from
season to season related to parenting, but it is related. They were very careful about keeping their monkey from river from interest, usually, and from deaths from the so we live a heaven full but humble, you know, we weren't we weren't extravagant. We bought what we could afford. You don't learn that you don't
take loans and beyond your dreams, and we didn't my parents
rented for over 20 years, because they didn't want to the mortgage. And so that I think, actually was directly related to the rocky
This is the first question.
So that's the destiny
three, and have two failed marriages. And this is so much happening.
Parents, my apologies and it
seems to be insufficient. And I feel guilty for not being able to make them feel complete by giving them complete.
First of all,
I want to say me to begin by making you may have also got to give your children peace and happiness then give you peace and happiness. And maybe you ask your children never feel incomplete.
I want to emphasize a few things. One is that you should not be putting the responsibility on yourself. Because, you see, we have to realize that everyone has a different path of life. Everyone has a different story. Everyone has different tests, and lots of chooses your story and your half based on what he knows, you can handle and also what he knows is best for you, to develop you and making the forces that are meant to be. So although you have been through difficulty, and although your children are going through difficulty, there is a purpose. And I can also share something that I read recently, which is the man or
Basically, they did a study in which they pulled down the most influential people, they took
up a static hundreds, if not 1000s, of the most influential and inspiring people and the most accomplished. So there's so people who are like really, really, who had accomplished huge things, you know, inventor servers, and then people who change the world, basically, they looked at their lives. And they found that
less than 15% of them, or maybe less than 10% of them came from a so called stable home.
75% 75% of them came from broken families had abused as their background, had, you know, various different types of challenges in their history, in their upbringing in their childhood. What does that show you? It shows you back there, this doesn't have to destroy it. And in fact, what it was doing was it was making and molding their challenges, their difficulties, things that we will look at it.
But those were the people who have the product that was the the method of developing and doing amazing things in the bathroom.
It actually made them stronger. So I love this woman, in short, wanted
to keep trying her best to do what's good to stop the self blame to stop beating herself up because she has to understand the
law rules and what what law rules he did. She needs discipline for trusting
her and her her faith in that this is what was meant to be better as a greater.
Next question. How did he feel even men feel that again and again, can be strong?
it's interesting to read the question.
absolute see person is asking the question, it answers the question the same thing, the same dependencies and
how do we keep trying when we keep failing? And how do we get back up and try again? It isn't easy, but it's exactly what hazards and hazards. She was in the desert. She's in an impossible situation. But she didn't just sit passively. And this was the point I was making about
the planners making about trusting a lot. She didn't just sit there and wait for water to fall from the sky.
She didn't just sit and wait for water. So we've gone out of business and she got off and she ran, you know, she she took action. She's strong is this lotion or not was called Sam, which means
and of course is driving so important that every single one of us till the end of time will follow her footsteps and have been
important to her. Her her action was for prescribing lists. So he or she did for a moment. She's
the one she's looking for hanging out.
And it was nothing. So what did she do that she
didn't even know? She was?
She's not running on the whiteboard
is nothing above her. She doesn't have you know, it's not clean. No, she's on 30 cents. And she's struggling hard. And she wants to be dehydrated and ready to collapse. And imagine being in a situation where she's struggling with everything that she has, if she wants some sort of tomorrow, and she looks for any kind of home. And she wants something another empty hilltop.
What does she give up? She doesn't say no. Now, here's a really interesting point, maybe 200. When we try something and affairs, we say that.
Right? But I don't
we did, she goes back and does the same thing again.
Because it's all she has the capacity to try. So she doesn't give up. She doesn't lose hope she goes back to stuff
is so powerful. And now.
She's trying to model one that she
she goes back.
twice, but she did not know us when we should have been more than
twice. And so
it's better than
she does the seven times. And then it was a lesson.
So this one was asking me to all of us. Here's the lesson.
One of the lessons is that things in life require that process.
Okay. For example,
when you have when you're when you're expressing a choice, you might want to have a month or
two months. Okay, you're done?
No, it requires a process, it will take nine months, you can speed it up. What do you plan to see,
you might say it's not working.
working. It's working. But it requires a process. It requires time. And a law besides the process, not you and me. See everything, almost everything is within
my means an appointed time, each and every one of us have an appointed time of our death. And we can achieve that. Each and every one of us has an appointed time of our work. And we can't choose that. Similarly, each and every one of us has an appointment time or moderator should have one we're going to have a choice. But when are hired to say that there is an appointed time, it's time to be becoming impatient and want to speed it up. But it has an appointed time. And there is a process speed up the tree growing speed up the baby to go. We have to understand that a lot of time.
So don't give up because you don't think it's
her shine. He might have seemed like it wasn't looking good or is it required process and after seven times he's been holding firm. And that was because she went through the process and that process is not adequate.
And at the same time investing.
Okay, so how to be better.
And so this is this is actually a wonderful question and there's nothing better than I've written about also love and happiness.
As well as similar to the other two books that we've brought, is this idea of how do I balance when I love
and what to do in this life, you know, not every quarter, you know, have the same time.
So, the practical way to do this is to look at an example of a process, because the Hammonds lesson was sent as a mercy to us. Why, because he was a walking dead. He was the example of how to live
on a boat, and I studied.
And I studied how to live day to day, remember I mentioned he was a father, he was a husband, he was a friend, I was a leader, a lot on his plate, which is, you know, when we were talking about being busy, you know, so it's interesting to hear the processor is the health of the house, sometimes excuses that are busy.
But how do you do it? And the answer is, if you study this life, you find that he lived his daily routine in a certain way. And the more that we can emulate that, the more we can have that balance. So practically, what does that look like? First of all, before, you know most of all, the five daily prayers is a prescription to do exactly that is to balance the NFL, why?
We create all five players, and
we put all the five players to condense the morning and then beyond 100. But also cannot do that, although according to the sofa to be throughout the day. Why? To keep your mind running through a long wall at work, while you're with your family. While you're eating, while you're at the mall shopping. While you're
entertaining yourself while you're on Facebook, while you're doing whatever it is spending time with me, bla bla bla keeps reminding us to tune back to your purpose. Remember the answer to the end. And so the video so long is a prescription of how to balance after that. Because it doesn't allow you to if you do it properly, right, are they still doing it at some point in time, that's a big issue, right? If you're taking the medicine and taking it on time, yeah, if you take the medicine and taking it on time, it doesn't allow you to get stuck in too good. Because you have to walk away from that needing to go remember your asset, you have to walk away from that that way, or the other party
or the mall or less a class, you have to walk away from whatever you're watching. Whatever you're doing on our phone, it's there. And it's almost forcing you to reorder, it's almost forcing you to focus on throughout the day.
So if you follow the prescriptions in Bihar, then we are actually curing ourselves of this obsession with aluminum, because we can't get to it have to pull away. You see, no matter what you're doing. The second part that I'm going to say about the practice of a prophet
is that he used to say, throughout the day, he used to save certain
throughout his day, as he was asleep, you know, duty and things. So for example, there is a school location for everything you can imagine that you do throughout our day. When we start when you leave your house, there's a safe location. When you're
when you're traveling, when you're into the bathroom, when you're leaving the bathroom, when you're afraid to close even before going to the sea, there's a certification, you need to start to practice these certifications, just even short runs as I memorize. What that is doing is it's focusing on hours on a law while we're living in the wild are involved in the mundane law or driving to work or, you know, we're eating a really nice meal.
You know, we're enjoying ourselves, even intimacy. What is it doing? It's focusing our heart on the law while living in doing. So one of the things he has recommend, as a way of doing this practically, is that there's an app that you can
Download another film called Juan
de nuit. A, it's essentially just a little sliver in an app. And what it does is it has all these applications in one place, but the character. So my advice is that every single day, make sure that there are certain mineral blogs are making throughout the day. The first one is the morning supplications. This is done after filters.
And this is now the thing also to keep in mind, you don't have to do all of them, there's 25 or 30 minutes after, you don't have to do all of them. But even if you make fun of when you're consistent, this is a very, very profound of that. And then the second time is after
And then the third time you need to make sure you're doing
those three, in addition to the short ones that you can memorize, will really have profound effects on your life and help you to have that balance. And finally, the
end has to be something you're connected to baby. So those are practical ways to live in Tokyo and still not be caught. obsess, and drama
and focus are
so crucial. So how do we prove our focus. And so
one of the best ways to improve our focus is to simply understand that
one of the problems is that obviously, there are many people errors and other first timers. But even if error is not our first language, just learning the basics of the law, the meaning of
something we can learn the meaning of, we see it at least 70 times a day. That's a feeling preview.
So she really will say, imagination, you're sitting in front of a king,
or queen. And you you don't understand what you're saying only the king or the queen sends you a letter. And that letter is in the language you don't understand.
You know, this is this is for the person who has a lot of power over you giving you a message.
This is a law is the law of the universe is giving us a message. We need to teach them.
The law, she's a global saying, remember that. So all the promises that it says
it's not a one way conversation. It's actually a two way conversation, when you receive a lot of responding to
what you're saying.
And then finally, silicon is about not rushing.
The process isn't recommended, or he advises not to rush once I saw him hand washing through prayer and then go back and Craig. Craig.
You know, like you notice what
So you shouldn't be rushing to prayer. And the other thing is just how do you organize your day? And this is the thing that most of us organize our day. We wake up, you know, we have a breakfast meeting with the kids to school, we go to work, you know, and I have meeting maybe I have
I have some employment, you don't have any of this kind of
Right? What our actual day is sort of like the pillars of our day are. Maybe we wake up, we eat breakfast, we have this meeting, we have this appointment, so we kind of structure our day around the corner. Yeah. And then
when we met in the data,
this is the only time and you tell your family that you're going to repeat what was said about the time and when
Before us, or after method, do you know why that is? Because they know the data, the pillars of the day or so on? Yes, there, it becomes the pillar of your day
becomes your pillar of your day in Ramallah. Why do you really need
for your habit stop eating? All of a sudden your game of football? You know, it's funny
to see people on the road.
Right? Why is everyone so obsessed with Slovak time in Ramallah only? Because
Yeah, this would be great. So all of a sudden, it's like we lost your filament and other time in, in in, in Rwanda, like, it must not be
all those people are eating, you're not calling anyone, you're not doing anything else. You're tired day, because we're rolling around. If you have a dinner appointment, if you have a meetings,
or I'm going to say before method,
we're going to need to sit down and say, so that means that we need to have our day structured with this law, let me do a method in order Hold on. Because the solid pillars of our day, it's not supposed to be just something we do in the
way we change the way we view so far. And the way the organizer makes a big difference.
There, when we
focus more on a wall outside,
it's easier to focus more on.
So it's also about changing our attachments, and changing what's most important to us, in general, because there's always that game. So all your mind just replays whatever is most important to you. So you don't have to, like if you're focusing on like,
like your staff, or an exam, you can think about the exam in the soul. If you're really focused on maybe something on social media, that's what she was talking about.
If you're really worried about something that someone's doing, or say that you're gonna think about, so what's the lower you're doing, it's reclaiming your power.
So when we change our hearts and make our hearts more full, we can remember the law outside of this law. But
then also become easier to notice.
Once in a while,
someone says here, they're still going to be useless. What's your interest? And what would you recommend When was the last
So I don't necessarily say that I have a favorite. So
there's definitely been certain verses and stories that have been very personal to me at certain stages. And
I've shared some of them during remember during my talk, but the story of the mother herself very personal to me the story of Musa Renzi
where I literally had to find a solution to that story. And just remind myself of that, and try really,
even when things look really dark and things will get really bad. But I try to remember at
the deep level this was people getting upset because even though it looks better right now, a little getting through this, you know that that has given me a lot of a lot of inspiration.
In terms of how do you balance
How do you balance you know, when you're busy, you're busy mom, busy dad and you have all these commitments. And honestly, it is also a debt free partnership restriction eventually the so long is gone. But after that, we'll actually talk about it.
Because when we give it time for almost 10 minutes, a lot goes bada
bada is blessing. What that means is that lots of creators are so loved and expand.
A lot can expand.
Well, it looks unique.
able to do more and less.
Okay, well, I mean, that's a beautiful thing, I'm friends,
here's the thing also tells us that in fact, in general, we will be able to go slow. Remember, the Prophet says and that says we will be those who love the
most tells us that people will be with their righteous Scots with their families, their righteous families. So, it is true, there shall be friends,
as long as you shop or get together. So the goal should really get together.
How do we detach ourselves from grownups? Okay?
See, here's the thing is understand is that it's not about
complete detachment in the sense of not being partners, not having a nurse, everyone,
everyone needs to be
ready, it's about not allowing the next or the media to control us. It has been a business. So we are part of the year we have an a blog, the goal is that we become in charge of the next not the next becoming insurance.
The problem is, next is so out of control is so like, it's so bold, and so out of control and so powerful, that it controls that person's heart. It controls that person, instead of the person controlling that us and sleeping with is that remember the analogy of the boat in the ocean is that it's not a problem of being in the ocean as long as you keep the ocean accessible
because the oceans on one side, but every single goal doesn't seem
logical to her.
Why? Because they kept the ocean so it's really about having a relationship with duty or ingredient doesn't seep into the core of her because the core strong love
course she thinks
she can enjoy the keep it at a core happiness but
have a list is why they talk about this creativeness because this came to Nestle to purify
is to make the nurse under control. What are the most powerful ways of doing this fasting
is actually fasting. When you fast you'll be coming in.
So there's a weight loss kind of gives us a training to weaken. We have enough.
What's the first thing you do when you're devastated or have a problem? Well, I have good news.
Okay, the good news is an entire seminar about us. And it's called shattered glass. And the good news is that we have a transcription of every word I said in that seminar, and I have limited tacos with me today.
So what we are doing is we are taking pre orders for Shaq last, and you can get your pre order show. The other class I gave us was called one last one way
This class was about firing happiness after despair. And we also have transcribe this class and we have limited problems with us today. So movies can be pre ordered along with the cleaning of our mind, nothing happens. So because this is a deep question that can't really be answered in 30 seconds, and I advise you to check out those, those those passages because a three hour for our system are just about healing and working for
Okay, I have an autistic child, sometimes.
I have friends, and I have friends met years ago, she she had a daughter, and her daughter was about 83. And she got a call from the school and the school holder, that suddenly her daughter stopped speaking. So it was very strange, they didn't understand that honor. So they took me to the doctor, and they were rendered a Masters test. And the doctor finally realized that this little world had a rare genetic disorder.
So the doctor told this is this mother, that her daughter has a rare genetic disorder called nrps. It's very rare. But the nature of this disorder is that your daughter will lose all parties. Slowly, she may lose her ability to speak, to walk, even to sit up, even to swallow. And this will happen slowly until she's.
And this is a smaller result.
And there's no cure.
And then a little bit later,
and it's the back door, and then there is the issue.
And then she has her dog.
And she was tested. And she goes to her MPs.
I don't think there's anyone in the world who has three children with MPs, etc.
And then she has a child with severe autism.
There is no one alive, who has three children with autism.
And you know, this woman is a believer.
And you know what she wants from the people around her.
They asked was nice to her. They treated her badly. They made her feel like maybe she was being punished. She had to do all of that.
And do all the work. This woman told me.
She told me, I am drowning in debt.
And what what she what blows my mind is that her story is an example of what a man can do for someone.
There is no one who has four children, three with their kids and one with autism. And she's dropping in.
When many of us, we think they're terrible on us, and could never imagine watching your children die. Not one, but three.
And that's exactly what she did. She watched her children die.
At the age that she did these children, these children, the doctor told her these children will probably not live, even if even past the age of nine or eight or 10. They live for almost 20 years. She took care of them day and night as she served them. She took care of them and so two of them have passed away one is still alive on machines in a wheelchair.
And this woman is an inspiration because you know, she said when we were given the news about our children, her husband was broken. She was heartbroken.
Feel like I'm looking at three routers.
So he thought he was she said she's looking at
and so this year, we'll have this picture, she needs to realize how she's looking at it.
And everyone who's judging her
needs to be careful, because of the loss of China has chosen for to give for this dog's agenda. And you have to be very, very careful because the law can tax and many of us,
you might have healthy children, you might be healthy. But all it takes is a load to the hair in
all cases and look to the hair, and you can compare us. And God forbid anything like that happens to any of us on two options. And we have to be very careful with the way we are shooting others who are being tested because of our contestants, and wanting to test our system. So be grateful, and be grateful and be careful of those people who are being tested. And the chocolate almost counterpart is rewarded to the shop.
people who saw
them and still make mistakes. Maybe mistakes, make mistakes. That's called being human.
Okay, so it's hard, it's one of the most important messages are trying to share
is that it is very toxic. This idea of Shiva perfection.
It's very toxic. also kind of Allah created the human being to make mistakes.
You know, here's the thing, what do you have a child? Right? Do you want your child to call me a rocker child?
When your child's learning to walk? Do you want to help? All
right? Well, will your child fall sometimes it is inevitable. It is a part of being human. Or God does not want us to fall back on our roles that we will fall over knows that we will make mistakes, because that's part of our creation is that we are held to a higher level. It's called being
It is called being human. So if you're making your salon and you're making the status,
but what does it say? It says all of us
will make mistakes. But the best are those who repent. If you want to be the best, don't try to be perfect because it's impossible. But keep repenting and keep trying to do better and stronger. Yes, we keep striving to be better. This doesn't mean that okay, I'm
not gonna try. No, we should be striving for something call center. But a center is not perfection. SM needs excellence. It needs to try your best every time. It doesn't mean you're going to be perfect. But it means try your best. And when you mess up, and you will then get back up and you repent and try your best. That's what Allah wants you to hold on to the previous
in health care specialists
are always afraid of losing them
so this is how passionate that you might have to describe You're so terrified of losing someone analog. First of all, it's natural to feel pain and using
the profits lesson felt pain when we lost her job. He felt meaning when he lost his job. He went on to hear
so this is human it's not.
it's like they're describing this intense over like he she may fear and what that might be is that you need to be
Can your foundation and attach that with a law because of us?
And I cannot give you the advice of
who you think love the profit goals.
Who do you think is closest to the prophet SAW?
What happened after the back? What did everyone wanted to say?
He said something very confirmed. He said if you want it to happen, knowing that what happened is
when we worship a law, know that the law never dies.
And so I'll leave you with the same advice
about your spouse
at that they will die.
No man alone never dies.
So it's really about finding that anchor.
It wasn't lost.
And then I have good news is that you will meet those who love insha Allah. Again,
this is not the end. Although it is mercy has allowed us to meet and be with our loved ones forever in shock law in general. So it is temporary, but there will be a shock off initial
there's no stickiness. There's no rattles.
There's no pain. There's no word on each other to each other. We've heard her mentioned that she's hurting the one she loves the most. Because there she says it's being moved.
There's none of that.
It's just pervades forever, guys, with the ones that you love. So look forward to that, look forward to that and find their internal struggle.
The father showed me that
he was devastated.
He wasn't prepared to lose his job.
and as a
So the question is
how do we strike a balance between
the big question
there doesn't have to be a contradiction between the other contestants that
We have hope in the last
four remarks. But we also realize that
chooses for us at the end of the day is going to
I am hoping
but like also have full lines that alone will choose the best for me.
So that's how you
you asked me to
keep holding Ulla, but when Allah chooses for you, you know that this is what's best for me. Because Why are my goals and the goals
below once with this is sort of customers that have a good opinion of the law. You know, let me give you an analogy.
You know, when you when a child has a lot of luck with a lottery in a manner. So you trust your parents so much.
So then we say okay, your mother or I want the same thing, but February or something else for you. Because you have so much trust in your parents who say I really control who was best for me.
So even though you might ask for something, but then the decision
decision that they make, they end up choosing something else.
You trust that decision because they know that they have your best interest that they want what's best for you, and you
Thank you so much.
are coming. I do want to
make a request, if you can remember me and your family with us, we have a long journey ahead of us in sha Allah back to America and may
allow us to join the dinner together. So I'm gonna make a quick announcement. There are a lot of people out there and you see this in our community who are suffering. Many people are suffering in silence, and are either ashamed or afraid to ask for help. And I want to just, first of all say that there is no shame in seeking help when you're having when you're struggling dealing with us individually. When you're struggling in your marriage, or struggling within yourself. There's no shame in asking for help. One of the resources which I can offer to you inshallah, me and my husband, we do a lot of coaching and helping people as much as we can, through the setup to tackle
football football lens. We can give you specific contact details. My husband does this for couples, he speaks with couples all over the world.
People who are overweight need difficulty doing a center because a lot of times we want to go
and something that we that we have come to me also specifically deals with men's issues because this is another place where there's a lot of stigma, a lot of shame in asking for help. So if you are interested in yourself and let us know. We'll get more details to the organizers. Please do. Don't don't feel any shame in
seeking the help of a
corporation to show