I Have So Many Problems How Do I Solve Them – PT 2
Channel: Yasmin Mogahed
Series: Yasmin Mogahed - Serenity
File Size: 26.01MB
Santa Monica, this is yes. And you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. We are again opening up the chatbox today for your questions, your discussion, inshallah, we will try to get to as many questions as we can today and from the last Tuesday, we got to some of them there were some that were remaining and inshallah I will also try to get to those. You know, before I begin, I want to actually ask, I like to know, who it is that that we're talking to and who it is that's listening. So so I want to ask inshallah for you to write in the chat box, where are you listening from? What city what's, what state what country? Are you in? Mashallah, when you look at
the chat box, you'll notice as people start to write in their, their locations, you'll you'll notice how global and hamdulillah we are, and how much how many people from all you know, people from all different places in the world are actually listening right now. And I think it really makes us realize how much of a global family we really are as believers. So shala let us know where are you listening from? You know, what, what's what state What country are you are you tuning in from right now? We have someone writing in from the UK, so far.
And we have
the, you know, the countries the countries represented usually range from you know, pretty much someone on every continent inshallah to Allah as those come in. We will. Looking here we have some Oklahoma, Lahore, Pakistan, Minnesota, Toronto, they come in really fast.
Or Orange County. That's where I'm at.
Belgium, London, and other Orange County, Michelle law.
Canada, Plymouth, England, New Orleans, Louisiana. OC we got a lot of OC representatives from the law.
Texas, Houston. Yeah, it's hard to keep up panels, you can take a look for yourself. So panel light is we got Belgium, Scotland. And yeah, Sweden, Pakistan,
Tunisia, Belgium. Again.
We got good representation in Pakistan and Belgium looks like an OC. All over the world. So panela Oui, oui, inshallah, we'll we'll we'll open up this chat box for this inshallah this, this global family, to ask your questions. And, and inshallah we will, we'll do our best again, to get to as many as we can.
So to begin with, someone writes, I am badly confused, I am an MBA and want to work in the corporate, I was working as well.
I was working as well, but then I left the job because I was uncomfortable working with males, please advise me if being a Muslim woman, I'm allowed to work in the corporate with males, you know, these these types of questions are really, really best answered by those who are trained and filk. But But generally, I think anytime, again, taking it back in the way that that I want to address these questions, inshallah. Many questions fall into this category. And that is, you know, that we have to always make sure that our heart is focused on Allah subhanaw taala. And whenever we're looking for guidance about how we should act or what we should do or what we shouldn't do, we have
to seek guidance from him. Because a lot of times, if we are driving ourselves in one way or another, then we have the tendency to just do what I feel is right or what what feels best to me and that's, again, the pull of the neffs rather than Allah subhanaw taala so we should do our research, ask those have knowledge if you don't, if you do not know Allah Spano Tata tells us ask those have knowledge. And then once you have asked those have knowledge once you have done your research, then you have to seek, you know, ask Allah subhanaw taala along the way, for that guidance for Allah to show you and to guide you to what's best. Anytime. We have
To make a decision, this is the way we should we should face it is that we do not we do our, our research, and at the same time asking Allah subhanaw taala to make it clear to us what is most pleasing to Him? I
Elisa writes, I have just started practicing the deen more and wearing Hijab now, I feel like I am tested more now. And nothing is right. It makes me want to give up at times. Why does it get harder when you try to do right? How do I stay focused? This is a very interesting and complicated question. And in order to
answer this question, I think we have to take a step back and look at our definitions.
A lot of times, we have the wrong definitions of good and bad, we have the wrong definitions of ease and hardship. And sometimes, our definition of good, for example tends to be that I'm gaining things of this life, I'm gaining adonia, I'm gaining things of the dunya I'm getting more money, I'm getting more status, I'm getting more friends, I'm getting more praise, this is how we often define success, and says how we often define something good happening is we use the definition and the currency, if you will, of the dunya of the creation. And so what happens is, that's how we see good, right, we see good things happen, we see success. And then on the other hand, we define bad or
failure as losing those things of the dunya as losing money, or status, or friends or praise. And as a result, we start to see that anytime that I've lost those things, and I'm actually, you know that that's something bad is happening to me, we also tend to see, you know, ease and hardship, you know, in a similar way that that ease, or or ease is, is oftentimes defined as things working out, the way I want it, or the way I see it, as it should work out and hardship, we see it as well, things are not working out the way I want. And the problem really can be solved by changing our definitions. And you know, for example, I might say that things are our nothing is right. So so in this question,
for example, why does it get harder when you try to do right? You know, things are not
working out the way that that you want, perhaps, and sometimes really, the problem is that I'm defining ease and hardship in the wrong way. Or I'm defining how things should be, or I'm defining things aren't working out the, you know, the way they should, as just basically what I want, right or what how I think it should be. But if we can step back, and we can redefine ease and hardship and we can redefine things, we can begin to see that anything that brings us closer to Allah subhanaw taala is good for us. It is ease, and anything that takes us away is something that we don't want. So suppose you do, you know, you start to try to practice more and you start you're starting to wear
hijab, and, and things seem like they are not maybe working out the way you want. It may be that that's better for you. That's one thing. And secondly, maybe you're facing more struggle as a result of of doing that. Or it seems as though as soon as you started to practice more, now you're facing more struggle. Well, we have to be able to understand this not from the physical lens, but from the spiritual lens. Sometimes Allah subhanaw taala gives us struggle, in order to make us stronger. And sometimes Allah subhanaw taala gives us hardship in order to purify us. One example to understand this reality is if you think about a person who's decided that they want to get in shape, so one day
I decide, I want to get in shape, I want to have a more a stronger body and a more fit body. What does that person now have to do in order to get in shape in order to be stronger? Well, anyone who knows who has ever worked out, knows that what they have to do is start to struggle. That's what working out is when you go to the gym, it's a place of struggle, right? You're you're struggling, you're lifting weight, you're you're running, you're you're you're you're you're basically it's called even resistance training, that in order to build in order to in order to tone in order to build muscle and to become stronger. You actually you actually put yourself through struggle. You
actually are are lifting heavy things. You're you're doing resistance training, something's pulling you in the opposite direction and you're pulling in the opposite way.
That's actually how you become stronger and how you become better. So you have said, Now that in the physical world, we understand that we understand this, I have said, I want to be fit, I want to be stronger. In order to do that this is the way this is the path is that you struggle, you lift you, you, you resist, that's what we do in the physical world. But somehow in the spiritual world, we think that there's different rules, we think that in order for me to be better, and to be pure, and to be stronger, I don't have to undergo any struggle. And it's kind of interesting, that we see it this way, because we understand, nobody in the world would be like, okay, I want to be, you know, I
want to be stronger, I want to be more toned, I want to be more fit, but I'm gonna do it right here, while I'm sitting on the couch, it's just gonna happen because I want it to happen, right? Or I, you know, I'm just gonna, you know, once in a while, maybe, maybe I'll watch a video, or watch a video of somebody working out or a fitness video, and that's going to make me more fit. Of course, then, you know, that doesn't make any sense. It's nonsensical. And yet, somehow we apply that to the spiritual world. So it may be sr, that that you know, you are trying to take this path because you want to become better. You said, You're starting to practice the deen, you want to get closer to
Allah. And he started wearing the hijab. And that is your goal. And this is the means this is how Allah subhanaw taala is taking you there. Sometimes it is through struggle, just like you know, going to the gym is what is going to make you stronger. You know, this, this struggle that you're going through is actually part of that path, to get stronger and to get pure and to get closer to Allah subhanaw taala. The second question is, how do I stay focused? The answer is you have to increase your remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala daily in your life, you have to increase how much you're remembering him how much your heart is focused on him, and how much you're feeding your heart
and your soul. The Vicar of Allah subhanaw taala the remembrance of Allah. And at the same time, you need to be purifying your heart from the stain of sin, so that's Toba. That's his default. That is how we stay focused. And that is how we stay in sha Allah, cleansing our heart.
So we have another question. My father is emotionally abusive towards me. He always finds flaws in me even though I practice them quite sincerely. I did make a lot of mistakes in my past that he is aware of, but he can't seem to forgive and forget, he instigates me, and sometimes I can't help but react, what do I do? What you do is you seek refuge in Allah subhanaw taala first and foremost, you know, there is a very powerful statement that the prophets I send him actually said that it is one of the treasures of the treasures of Jenna. And that is that Hola. Well, our call Wata, illa Billah there is no change, there is no change in state, there is no power and there is no strength, except
by Allah subhanaw taala the situation that you're in, can never change except that by Allah subhanaw taala you will never have the strength and the and the power to be able to withstand that or or be patient or or do anything except by Allah subhanaw taala so I say to you and to myself and to all of those listening, that that nothing happens except by Allah, there is no power, except by Allah. So we need to seek help from Allah subhanaw taala I can give you a lot of, you know, advice about, you know, these are some practical things you can do, you know, do this, do that, yes, all of that may be useful. But ultimately, ultimately, our condition never changes, except by Allah subhanaw taala
and we cannot have the strength to to withstand these difficulties in our lives, except if Allah subhanaw taala helps us. And I and I say to you also, that, you know, I remind you in myself of this is where Allah Subhana Allah says, in the law, Hola, yo, yo, maybe Coleman had the Euro, maybe and forcing him indeed, God does not change the condition of a people until they change the condition of what is inside themselves until they change themselves. So so what I say to you is your job, ultimately is to work on yourself. Your job is what are you doing towards him? How are you treating him? You know, your relationship with Allah subhanaw taala and then what does Allah expect from you
towards your father? And you know, if, if this was somebody who was being abusive to you, who was not your blood relative, you know, it's a lot easier to deal with you kind of you know, you you know, you can get out of the situation in one way or another. But, but this is your father So, of course, you know, you can't, you can't cut off relations, you know, completely
You can't get a new phone. I mean, it's it's something that it's a situation where Allah subhanaw taala has put you in, and there's only so much you can do, you know, in terms of getting out of the situation. And that's why I say to you to seek refuge in Allah subhanaw taala. And some of the means that you can use,
we're told, it's fabulous to hear us and this is a this is a sort of, you know, recipe that we're given in the quarter and by the Lord of the worlds, it's fabulous to hear us and you know, putting forth that which is best, that this is a recipe of how to turn an enemy into a close friend, that Allah tells us in the Quran, it coming forth with the best always, always putting you know, that how you treat people, make it the best, what you put forward, make it the best. And then Allah subhanaw taala you know, you'll find that Allah tells us that when you do that, when you treat people in the best way, even when people may not be treating you in the best way, but you continue to treat them
well, that you'll find that even an enemy becomes a close friend. So my advice to you ultimately, first and foremost, seek refuge in Allah subhanaw taala in your situation, and continue to be good towards your father, continue to put forth what is best and and ask Allah subhanaw taala to make it easy for you
don't don't ever let one thing I want to also remind you don't ever let the any any bad words or anything demeaning that people have to say about you don't ever let it enter your heart. Be very careful not to absorb that because your your status is with Allah subhanaw taala It doesn't matter how people see you, it doesn't matter what people say about you, whether they praise you, or they cut you down. Ultimately, none of that matters. your actual status is with Allah subhanaw taala. So make sure that you don't absorb, absorb what others say about you, when they're cutting you down. Or even even if they're praising you don't absorb that, be careful to know that the truth of what you
are is with Allah subhanaw taala focus on that focus on being the best with Allah subhanaw taala and don't worry about what the people say, we have a question related to my book is there going to be an Arabic version of Reclaim Your heart right now, there is not an Arabic version of my book, reclaim your heart. However, I am working on distributing the book in the the the Middle East and you know, different different countries around the world. And, you know, I'm talking with some people in Egypt inshallah, and my, what I would say is, you know, if you are located in an area where the Book is not Available, the best thing to do is to ask the booksellers in your area to to carry the book, and
and that's something you know, they can contact me, my publisher in order to get the book and even a wholesale, you know, just count on it, but inshallah to Allah, I am hoping that it can be translated into Arabic And I'm open to those who you know, if you have if you know of people who can translate it, or you know, that you can approach me inshallah, and I'm definitely open to that I'm hoping to get it translated into at least you know, the major languages at Arabic or do Spanish French inshallah Tada, but but right now, it is available in English worldwide, you can get it, you can go to my website, and it has many different links to places that you can order online, on Amazon
carries it, and as well as some other sites, and it's also available as an E book. It seems Nora writes, it seems difficult to me to be happy in this world while you know that this life is not forever.
That is absolutely a very good point. So Pamela, I can definitely relate to your point, Nora. And I think that,
you know, there's there's this there's this quote, of one of the the great scholars that says that he who does not enter the agenda, or the paradise of this world, will not enter the paradise or the agenda of the next world. And, you know, I've been I have been thinking about this question for a really long time, your question and the question of what is the paradise of this world? And how do we find happiness in this world? When when indeed, like you said, Nothing lasts? How do we find happiness and something that we know is passing away? And I think ultimately the only answer really is in the nearness to Allah subhanaw taala. And the reason I say that is because everything else
fades everything else passes away. And it is very true, that if you're putting your your happiness, if your happiness rather is defined by something that is passing away or temporary, that that yes, it will, it will go away. But if you put your happiness and your happiness is defined by something that never fades away, it's something that never passes away. Then they
You will be able to have that happiness, and it doesn't pass away and it doesn't fade away. So I think that that place where you can find that happiness is in that nearness to Allah subhanaw taala. Because of that never fades, that is something that you will have throughout this life, no matter what happens to your body, no matter, you know, if a person's happiness is is, is defined by how pretty they are, or how young they are, or how much you know how attractive they are, that's going to change, you know, you just wait five years, and it changes you wait 10, and it completely changes. If that's where your happiness is, you know, it does fade, all of that fades, if your
happiness is and how much money you have. Again, that also fades, it changes every day it changes. You know, the stock market goes up and down, it crashes, all these things are unstable, if your happiness is in these things, if your happiness is in a relationship, if your happiness is defined by a relationship, it relationships change, relationships, and relationships begin and people die, people pass away people leave. these are these are all temporary things. But if your happiness is dependent on that closeness to your Creator, that never leaves, and it never changes, and it never I mean it never, it never leaves you never passes away. And and you'll find that that is the only
thing from this life ultimately that that, you know, you take to your grave, and then you take to the Day of Judgment, and then you take to the Hereafter is where were you with God, where were you with your Creator. And that's something that you'll carry on with you. Regardless of the changes that happen to your body, regardless of the changes that happen to your bank account, regardless of the changes that happen in your relationships. And regardless of whether you're in this life, whether you're in your grave, whether you're standing in front of a line, the day of judgment, or whether you're in the hereafter in Jenna in sha Allah tala that that's something that never changes.
So your question is a very deep one. And I think that that after, you know, a lot of personal searching about the same question, that that's really what I found, is that it has to be in something that is that is unchanging, and that does not fade away. So ultimately, you know, you ask, you know, how do you find happiness in a world that's not forever? The answer is you find happiness in something that is forever and there is a part of this world that is forever and that is your relationship with your Creator. Allah has given us the opportunity to have that relationship in this world. When you put your forehead to the ground when you make such that when you pray, when you ask
Allah when you talk to Allah when you make when you read his words, those are those are opportunities to connect with Allah subhanaw taala in this life, and that's something of the next life that's something of the unseen and that's something that never ever fades away or passes.
inshallah, I will take a short break now. And then when we return, I'll be going back to the chat box inshallah to answer your questions, and we have inshallah time to get to as many as possible.
Salam Alaikum This is yes, min Mujahid and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio, we are taking your live questions on the chat box. And we are we have a question here
by one of our listeners that says Hi, I often don't take steps in life because I feel unmotivated and afraid of rejection, whether it is making new friends or starting a project, what do I do to get rid of my fears?
You know, I think one of the problems generally and why we we might be afraid and then why we get disappointed is that we put our dependence in the wrong place. We depend on ourselves instead of depending on Allah subhanaw taala. So or we depend on others as well. So for example, if I'm taking a step forward, it's kind of you know, if you think about the the image of a person who's rock climbing, and you know, it really has everything to do with whether you fall or whether you don't, has everything to do with how firm the hand hold that you're holding on to is. So if I'm taking a step, you know, and and I'm taking a chance on something, if I'm holding on to something handhold
that is very weak, which is everything other than God. I've
thing of the creation, if I'm holding on to that, then it's very easy for it to break. So say I'm depending on, if I'm, for example, going to start a new project, and I'm depending on myself to make it successful, or I'm depending on a friend to make it successful, or my or my partner, I'm depending on my money, then then what's going to happen is well, you know, those are very unstable and, and weak things. So they they tend to fall through, right? I'm, I'm not always able to, to do you know, to do it, right, I may I may, I may fail, or I may make a mistake, a friend may fail or make a mistake, my money, you know, it can it can be taken away from me. So these are these are why
why do we become afraid? Or why do we become, we lose that security is because what we're using as a security blanket is something that is that is false. It's something that is that is an illusion, and, and is something that that can easily tear, right? And it can protect us. And so what I would say is that, when we take these steps in life, these big steps of getting married or making a new friend, or starting a project or starting a new job, it's very important that we are holding on to something firm, right, just like that person who's rock climbing, if the handhold is firmed, and the person doesn't fall, no matter what happens, you still have that handhold. So even if the project
fails, or even if the friend you know, leaves you or whatever ends up happening with this new step in life, you still have your you still don't fall, because you're holding on to something firm, you will always still have Allah subhanaw taala no matter what the result is, you still have Allah. And if you have even even greater than that, if your intention, you know, the prophets I send them tells us in MLM and will be net. Indeed, actions are by intention. So whatever you do, if you have the intention of pleasing God, or you have the intention of doing what, you know what God told you to do, or staying away from what God told you to stay away from, no matter what the result is, you'll
be rewarded for your intention. And that's really a fail safe way to always be successful. Because no matter what the result is, if you're doing that project, for example, and you're doing it with God in mind, that no matter what happens in the project, if it fails, or if it succeeds, succeeds in the worldly sense, you're still being rewarded, you're still you still, you're still successful. Similarly, you know, same thing with friends, same thing with anything, even a marriage, you enter into the marriage. And if you enter, you know, in the right way, if you're entering by Allah subhanaw taala, and with Allah Subhana, WA Tada, having Allah in mind, you know, doing it in the way
Allah tells you, and you know, having a less power that'd be part of that, then even if the marriage doesn't work out, you still have a lesser power that he still haven't failed, you still are successful, because in MLM and will be new yet that our actions are by intention, Allah will reward you by your intention. And if you're, you know, you're doing a project, and you're intending to, even if it's if some some form of Islamic work here, you're planning an event, you're trying to help a friend out. And maybe in the end, the project doesn't work or the event, you know, seems to fail, you don't have a good turnout. Maybe the friend that you're helping is is not appreciating your
help. In the end, it doesn't matter because you're still successful. Allah subhanaw taala sees what you did, and you're rewarded for for that effort and for that intention. So you know, really, the best way to get rid of your fears is to hold on to something firm. You know, I'm only afraid when I'm rock climbing. If I know that I'm only holding on to a twig I know that my my rope can break at any moment, of course, I'm going to be afraid. But if I'm holding on to something firm that never breaks, and I and I know that what's holding me up is God, then then I'm not afraid anymore. And that way, I know that no matter what happens, it'll always still be good for me. This is this is
really the concept which which the prophets of the light SLM teaches us. In the Hadith when he says that the matter of a believer is strange, everything is good for him. And this is only the case for a believer. If something he likes comes to him. He's thankful. So it's good for him. If something he doesn't like comes to him, he is patient, so it is good for him. This is a very profound idea here. Because what what the prophet sallallaahu Selim is telling us is he's giving us a way in which everything can be good for us, a way in which we can always be successful, no matter what the outcome is, if it's something we like, or something we don't like. Either way, it's good for us.
That's the matter of a believer, and the believer is always between those two states of patience and gratitude. If it's something you you don't like your patient
So you'll be rewarded, that something you like you're grateful, so you'll be rewarded. This is the state of a believer, no matter how your project works out, no matter how your new friend, you know, relationship works out, it's always good for you, if you're near to Allah Subhana, WA Tada.
For our rights, I am sensitive in one kind of way, I feel the pain of people, of my parents, it hurts me to see things happening to them. And I don't know how to deal with this, I put myself in a bad mood by thinking the whole time, Islam makes me think. But sometimes it's easier to just not think philosophical. So far, you know, it is a good thing to be sensitive in that way, it is a good thing to care about people, it is a good thing to feel the pain of people, the prophets, I send them said that the oma for example is like one body. And if any part of that body feels pain, the entire body reacts with fever, that's, you know, that's the way we should be that we feel the pain of
others, we care about others. But at the same time, we have to be careful that it doesn't become a false attachment, that it doesn't become a dependency, and that it doesn't become actually a veil between us and God. We have to be careful that when we feel that pain, we feel for people, we want to make people happy, we don't want people to be sad or disapproving of us, but that we're not dependent on those things, that ultimately we're still our dependency. For us to feel happy for us to feel okay, is only on Allah subhanaw taala.
I would say that, you know, you, you, you try to help your parents, you make the offer your parents, you do what you can to try to ease their pain. And then you ultimately realize that, that, that that it's Allah who can take care of it, you know, sometimes, and it brings me to the story of the mother of Musa alayhis salam. She was told to put her Moosa to put her baby into the river. And that's, that's a pretty hard thing to do, to have enough trust in God to put your baby in the river, that that takes true telecon but ultimately, what what is she doing when she's putting her baby in the river, she's knowing that she can't protect her child herself. But she's putting it in the hands of
God to protect her child and to take care of her child. And that's exactly what we need to do when, when there's when there's situations you know, people we love are hurting or people you know, we love are going through something, we do everything we can to help them. But ultimately, the only rest comes when we realize that it's an Ally's hands, and we put it we give it to a lot to take care of. That that's how I would say for you to find rest is is while you Yes, you do your part and you try what you can to help. But ultimately letting it go to Allah subhanaw taala internally, and knowing that he'll take care of it and it's in his hands, putting anything in his hands is what
gives the heart rest. Anytime we try to put things in our own hands, that's when the heart becomes agitated, that's when the heart becomes afraid. So so make sure that it doesn't become something that you become that that that pulls you down something that you know obsesses you and and like you said puts you in such a bad mood and, and and occupies your mind all the time. Because that's not actually helping the situation either. And it's just hurting you. It also is an indication that maybe you're depending too much on yourself to fix it for your parents. And it isn't in your hands to fix it for your parents. It is only in Allah subhanaw taala his hands so putting your trust in
Allah will both help your parents and also help you in sha Allah tala.
Smiley writes also, yes, me and I admire you a lot. Your videos have helped me so much and helped me hope I just wanted to let you know that I love you so much and I'm happy. You're my sister in Assam. I'm happy that in a way my heart, your heart and all of the Muslim hearts are linked. Allahu Akbar. May Allah subhanaw taala be the one for whose sake you love me love you. And I'm also you know it is it is an honor and a privilege to be connected with with so many people for the sake of Allah subhana wa tada we have nothing else in common ultimately, nothing else really, that links us. And that's a really, really beautiful way to love someone. In fact, it's the most beautiful way to love
someone. We're told in many, many prophetic traditions that love for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala is something that that's the highest type of love, and one Hadith. We're told that one of those people who will be shaded in the shade of God when there's no other shade are those who love for the sake of Allah. They come together for the sake of Allah and they part for the sake of Allah. In another Hadith, we're told that there is a place in Genesis so great that even the
martyrs, and the prophets would be envious of it and it's for those who loved for the sake of Allah. So we ask Allah subhanaw taala, to accept from us, and to always link us together by by his love.
Struggle rights, I find it very difficult to concentrate when praying, and my mind is very busy. And I also struggle and have to be fought and have to force myself to read a quote, and haven't read for a while, almost like I have this feeling inside where I'm fighting with. This is a really great question. And I think that a lot of people can can relate to this. What we need to understand is that we have a number of enemies, we have an external enemy, and we have an internal enemy, the external enemy is shaitan. And as well as sometimes people people can also be an enemy for us with with our in our path to Allah Subhana Allah, we're told instead of the next minute, giannetti
oneness, we know instead of the NASS, we ask Allah subhana wa tada for protection from this, the whispering right of shaitan. And also, we ask protection from the jinn, you know of the jinn, and from and from the people. So this, this, this enemy itself is from among the jinn, and also from among the people. And then we have another enemy, which is the internal enemy, the enemy of the neffs, which is also our enemy. And, and, and is, is something we have to struggle against. So we're kind of in this constant battle externally and internally. And there are certain ways to help us in that battle. So what's what's going to make us not be able to concentrate in prayer will sometimes
it will be a combination of the two enemies, one is Shaitan, the whispering of shaitan shaitan will come and kind of say something to us and try to distract us thinking about things completely unrelated to our prayer. And then there's also the whispering that comes from internally, how can you tell the difference between the two? Well, you'll notice that when you're praying, if there's something that's consistently
called coming to your mind, every time you pray, and even consistently is also something that you're worried that you're struggling with outside your prayers. And it's a very, very consistent, that's indicative of the fact that it's your own self, it's your own neffs and your own your own personal struggle with that neffs. And then when sometimes when you're praying, you might just get a totally random thought in your brain, you know, something you've never thought of before, but then you start getting distracted by that that's most likely shaitan so so there's a way to protect ourselves from both type of whispering and, and from both types of distractions with regards to shaitan. The way to
protect ourselves from shaitan, Allah Subhana, Allah has given us many ways, it is by Allah, Allah is the only protection from shaitan and he's given us different means. One of them is to say, Allah will let him initiate on regime seek refuge in Allah from the Shaitan. So before you pray, you say out of a name and a shaitana regime. But beyond that, we're also told that there's other ways to protect ourselves. One of the ways to protect ourselves overall from shaitan is through thicket is to remembrance any time we remember Allah we say Bismillah we say Subhana Allah, we fill our lives with remembrance, we are being protected from shaitan prayer itself is a protection from shaitan
anytime the more that we remember a law, the more we fill our lives with remembrance, the more we are being protected that is a shield from shaitan. So if we increase that, if we increase the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala, then we're increasing the protection from shaitan and one specific way we're told in a hadith is just you know, the statement for example, La ilaha illallah wa the hula sharika lahu molk. Well, I will hand you he will you need to how Allah condition Kadir or you can say la ilaha illallah wa who naturally Cana now who will Molko our hand wahala Konishi. In this statement, we're told in the Hadith that if you say this statement 100 times in a day, one
of the the consequences of saying that is that we are protected from shaitan until the end of the day, so the entire day we're protected from shaitan these types of things will help us be protected from shaitan, both outside of our prayer as well as inside of our prayer. But our problem is, we don't remember Allah outside of our prayers. And so we have a lot of difficulty remembering him inside of our prayers. We don't remember a lot outside of our prayers. So we're very susceptible to the to the whispering of shaitan outside of our prayers, and we become more susceptible to the whispering of shaitan inside of our prayers. So that's the the sort of the the aspect that has to do
with shaitan and his his contribution to our destruction. And then there's another aspect which is the neffs the internal aspect
And ultimately what you'll find is that whatever you're consistently thinking about in your prayers is a pointer to your false attachments. Those things which you love so much, that that that that attachment and that love for that thing is actually potentially a competitor, with your love for for Allah subhana wa Tada. And those things that you're consistently thinking about in your prayers and you can't get off your mind is that one consistent thing? Is is something that is potentially Valley veiling you from Allah subhanaw taala. So it gives you a window into what are those attachments that perhaps you need to work on? And you know, sometimes every for everyone, it's different, but it's
actually a very good way to pinpoint what are the attachments that I have? What are those things that I love so much that that, that it's competing with my love for Allah and it's becoming a veil, a barrier, a distraction from God, Himself, not only in my prayer, I want you. And I want you to think bigger than that. It isn't just in your prayers, this is ultimately on the grander scheme of things. In life, it's becoming a barrier for you. So the prayer is just is an indication of, you know, your the condition of your heart, you know, throughout your life, and, and, and outside of your prayer as well. So if something is is constantly taking over your mind in prayer, chances are
that this is something that maybe you have too much or too strong of an attachment to in your heart. And it's something you need to work on. That's a process which which involves you know that that purification of the heart. And lastly, I would say to you, is Toba is default our sins. The more that our sins build up on our heart, the harder it is to connect to God, the harder it is to focus on God in our prayers as well as outside our prayers. So we need to clean ourselves of our sins by by doing our best to stay away from them, and also by consistent is to follow repentance and Toba. Coming back to Allah subhanaw taala and seeking forgiveness. Someone asks How can I put my trust in
You can't really put your trust in someone that you don't know. And so what I would say is that the best way to be able to put your trust in a lot is to know a lot to get to know Allah Who is he, when you realize that he is the one in charge, he is the one in control, he is the one who has the power over all things, how can you not but put your trust in Him. Our problem is, we don't really see that we don't really see a loss of panel data we don't, we don't realize that all power and all strength and all control is in his in his hands. And so that's why we put our trust in other things. But when you are able to see that, the more you're able to see that actually Allah is the one in complete
control over every single thing in the universe, that there's not even a leaf that falls from a tree except by his permission, then it becomes a lot easier to put your trust in him. You know, the more you see power, the more you realize where the power lies, the easier it is to put your trust in that which has all power. You know, the power of my, of my of my life, you know, everything that happens to me is in his hands. So how can I put my trust anywhere else? for our rights? My friends sometimes think that I am a an extremist, but it doesn't matter to me, I believe what I do is to save my neffs from getting into the wrong things of dunya.
You know, this is a this is a this is an interesting question. I think that sometimes a lot of people face this with their friends and their family when they try to get closer to Allah subhanaw taala for many reasons, people might look at them and say they're being extreme or, you know, just chill out a little there, right? You're getting too religious. And it's kind of there are a lot of reasons psychologically why people might do that. Sometimes it honestly is just to deal with their own guilt. If a person feels like they're not good enough or or the way they want to be, they might look at someone else who's who's maybe doing what they wish they could and and in order to deal with
your own guilt sometimes you might put that other person down. So there are different psychological reasons why that may be but but ultimately, it's irrelevant. It doesn't matter what you have to just be firm in his was just doing your best to please Allah subhanaw taala and and be very careful. You're never going to please all the people and if your goal is to please people or to get the approval of people, you're always going to be disappointed and you're going to fail. That that is not that it's not something attainable. And it's also not something in any way useful to you. It isn't going to matter. You know when you're dying, or when you stand in front of Allah subhanaw
taala whether or not people approved of you, it's not going to matter matter what people called you or didn't call
You are, if they praise you, or if they criticize you, ultimately all that's going to matter is where you are with God and where you are with, with that relationship with Allah subhana wa Tada. So, you know, my advice to you is to very kindly sort of just overlook that, you know, what, what the people are saying, and and understand everybody has their struggles, you know, and sometimes those people are, are calling you an extremist, because they don't, they don't, maybe they have their own struggle with certain things and that's how they deal with it. So just try to be forgiving of that, but don't don't let it affect you. What you you know, your own neffs you know, better than
than they and and if you're trying to, to maybe take extra precautions to protect yourself from your neffs then then that's very wise. In fact, this is something that Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran, amendments also author of higher to dunya ninja Hema he and Matt were amendment kazama camara be he went ahead enough sign in however in agenda he and malwa that that allows describing these two groups of people, that those people who transgressed and who prefer the life of this world amendment Allah will Arthur L. Hyatt of dunya for nl Jackie Mahela then then Hellfire is the Abode the final abode and call for mcomber OBE when enough sign in, whoa, and those people who feared standing in
front of their Lord, and they kept themselves now handcuffs on and how are they kept the neffs away from the hell out from the desires. These are the people who that's the description that Allah is giving of them. They fear that standing in front of Allah, as a result of that fear they are they're keeping the neffs away they are they are refraining the neffs taking the neffs away from the desires for an agenda to hear. And then indeed Jenna is the final about that is the past agenda is to keep the knifes away from the desires. And even if that means being very strict on oneself, then then then that's, that's better. That's actually the way of those who really want to be successful. And
it's important, very important that we emphasize that they are strict on themselves. They're not strict on others. Sometimes what we do is the opposite. We're very easy on ourselves, we make a lot of excuses for ourselves, but we're very strict on others and we're very harsh on others. We need to be the other way around. We need to be harsh on ourselves in terms of of strictness in terms of what we hold ourselves accountable for and be easier on others. That's really the path inshallah to Allah of, of success, you know, and so I would say to you continue what you're doing as long as it is within the, you know, the, the, the realm of, of the Sunnah, you know, it's not outside of the
subnets not you're not adding something that is against the Sunnah, that don't worry about what people say again, just just let it not affect you in sha Allah, Allah don't absorb that. It's very, very important. And, you know, this, this idea that if you really know yourself, and you really know Allah subhanaw taala, you're not going to be affected by the praise or the criticism of people. You don't let that get absorbed because you know yourself, you know what you need to do. So May Allah subhanaw taala make it easy on you.
The question above and this one here are related in that both would like to know how to overcome the people's opinions around them, who think that they are too deep indeed, and finding a balance between Deen and dunya
Subhana Allah at every given and whenever this terminology comes of balancing Deen and dunya I think it's it, I think it's the wrong way to look at it.
Balancing Deen and dunya gives the impression as though you know, we'll we'll do a little we'll do you know, some of the things we do in life will be for this life, and then some of the things we'll do in life will be for the next life. But there's another way to look at this. And that is that really, everything in this life can be a vehicle for the next life, everything in this in this life, including your career, including your marriage, including when you get up in the morning and you get dressed including you know, we eat an apple, like every single thing in this life can actually be a way to get to Allah subhanho data. So I think we need to redefine even the way we look at this life
in the next instead of seeing it as you know two different parts of a scale and I'm trying to do a little here and a little here and we feel torn and scattered but rather unifying it in a way where we see athleta as the destination we see Allah subhana wa tada as the destination we see the hereafter as the destination and we see everything in this life as the vehicle. Every single thing in this life is taking me to Allah subhana wa tada I think that's the proper way, inshallah to look at everything that we do and make it a means to get us with Allah you know closer to Allah.
panel data. When Allah describes this life, he calls it a metab. And metab is one of the root meanings of this word. metab is basically a tool, a resource, it's something that you use, you may get some enjoyment out of it, but it's ultimately a tool. Nobody falls in love with a hammer when they're building a house, right? You don't use the hammer for what it's intended for. But you don't you don't lose track of what you're doing with that with that toolbox. Everything in this life is a toolbox ultimately that we can use to to reach Allah subhanaw taala does that mean that there is no pleasure in it? No, of course not. Allah says that you know in the relationship between men and
between husband and wife is my word that and Rama love and mercy We ask Allah subhana wa tada to add to them for dunya has an outfit Aphrodite has an alcanada but not all love. You know grant is good in this life and in the next life and protect us from the Hellfire we asked that that Allah would put in our in our spouses and in our children caught the eye on the coolness of our eyes. So there's definitely there's definitely pleasure and happiness that comes in this process. But But it's important to keep everything into perspective. But that what is our ultimate purpose in everything that we do in dunya. And in in this process, so see it less as a balancing act and more as
everything in dunya is a vehicle to take us to Allah subhana wa Tada. Emma tala asks, How do I deal with my parents and siblings who don't agree with my Islamic way of life, I'm trying to get closer to Allah by being a better Muslim, but they feel I am too extreme. Again, you know, this, this issue of sometimes dealing with people around us who think we're too extreme.
Just stay focused on Allah subhanaw taala. And, and just, you know, do your best also not to be harsh with those around you. One of the problems with people when they do start to become more religious, is that one trap that one can fall into is this sense of self righteousness, or holier than thou, where we where we can we see ourselves as doing something for a lot, and then we look down on others who might not we don't see is doing, we don't see them doing what we're doing. That's very dangerous. Because it shows a couple of things. One is it shows that you believe that your righteousness in quotations, equate quotation marks is from yourself. And it is not righteousness of
any type. Obedience of any type. A bad worship of any type is a gift from Allah subhanaw taala. It doesn't come from me because I'm just a better person, but rather it comes from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And it's a gift from him, and realize that any gifts can be taken away. So if we are arrogant, and we think that this comes from us, in a moment, it can be taken away, and you will find that that's exactly what happens with people who look down on others or ridicule others, that they end up falling into much of what they ridiculed, and much of what they look down upon. So be very careful that you thank Allah Subhana Allah yourself, when you when you are able to stand up and
pray, we should be thanking Allah subhanaw taala you know, Allah doesn't need to thank us, we need to thank Allah that we were able to stand up and pray and we're able to worship Him that we're able to wear hijab, that we're able to fast and those people who are not able to do those things, we should make the offer them but never look down. Because it is a gift that Allah has given you just thank Allah subhanho data for it. And don't let it affect you that people are you know, what the people are saying, this idea of being extreme.
There's no such thing as being too good or goodness, righteousness, being close to Allah subhanaw taala is is is not something you can have too much of, you know, when it comes to extremism, I think it has to do with you know, maybe there are
practices that we might be too harsh on ourselves with, but but but the but the the stripe itself of trying to to get closer to Allah subhanaw taala there's no such thing as being too extreme in that because we all I mean, this is the ultimate goodness is to be close to God, the more of that we have the more we strive for that the better. You know, it's there's no such thing as being too good. So we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make that path easy for us and to protect us from the trap of arrogance, self righteousness, looking down on others and to always realize that if we are able to worship God then it is a gift from him to us, not a gift from us to him. inshallah I pray that you
know if there was any good from from what was said today that that you know that it was it was solely from Allah subhanaw taala and hamdulillah and if there's anything that I said that was wrong, is from my own self according holy Heather was stuck for a lolly will come in number four Rahim subhanak Hello byham Deck Nish. Hello
Hola Hola. And that's Dr. O'Connor to Lake wa salam o Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh