Yasmin Mogahed – I Have So Many Problems How Do I Solve Them – PT 1

Yasmin Mogahed
AI: Summary © The host discusses the challenges of asking questions during Islam and emphasizes the importance of finding the right path for one's life. They stress the need to repeatedly clean one's hearts throughornial sub hired words and feed the heart to achieve healthy growth. The importance of knowing one's goal and re defines success and failure, using words like "has" and "has been." They also discuss the importance of re defines success and failure, using words like "has" and "has been."
AI: Transcript ©
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Assalamu alaikum This is Yasmin, which I hate and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio. We are returning to your questions on the chat box, don't have the opportunity to reach out to ask their questions to discuss their questions. One of the things I really love about serenity and about one legacy radio is it gives people the opportunity from literally all over the world, to connect and to share their questions and to share their struggles with each other. And inshallah I will try to address as many of your questions as I can, in sha Allah to Allah, Allah will let him in a shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim, WA Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah.

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While he was happy at mine, one of the first questions that I received in the chat box is a question that many many people face. And it's a question about when you are faced in Islam with many different conflicting opinions. You know, there are some people who say you need to practice this way and others who say you need to practice this other way. And sometimes you become very confused as to which way you should go, which path you should take, I'm going to answer this question in a more broad way and and inshallah hopefully a deeper way, because this is not just, you know, restricted to 50 opinions, right? It's not just restricted to how do we pray properly? Or where do

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we hold our hands when we pray and, and those types of details? But I think it's a bigger question of how do we make decisions? How do we know which way to go? And so I want to talk about it from that perspective as a grander question. It isn't, again, just

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limited to issues of filk. But it's actually, every day of our life, we're faced with, with choices, we're faced with questions. And sometimes the answer is clear. And sometimes it isn't clear. Sometimes we're faced with two different paths, or three or more many paths. And we have no idea which one to take, it isn't always so clear that this is the right answer. And this is the wrong answer. And I need to push myself to take the right answer. But sometimes they all look equally plausible, or equally good. And we have no idea which one to take this happens in decisions, we make large, big decisions that we make about career perhaps, about which major to pursue about who to

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marry, about just, you know, the these bigger, you know, where should we move, which offer to take, and then even about smaller things, you know, just just which What should I do today, you know, should I meet this person? Or should I do this other task? And what should I do? First, we're basically faced with questions, we're basically faced with choices rather, all the time, we're always we're always making choices. The so the question is a bigger question. And that is how do we make decisions and how do we move? Do we, what is our methodology in terms of movement and in terms of choices, and so I want to give you, inshallah, a way to look at this, that would apply to all of

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these things, and it's a different way to look at, I think our lives and the way we make decisions, mostly the way that the the conventional method, I would say, of making decisions or movement is basically a self sort of,

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propelled or self oriented type of, of methodology. What that means is that I rely on myself to make decisions. I will, when faced with two options, I will say, Okay, I got to make the best decision. And I rely on me and I, I'll go back to my intellect, I'll go back to my rationality, I might, you know, gather some data, and I basically put it upon myself to the the responsibility of choosing the best option. I put that very large responsibility upon my own shoulders. Sometimes I might put it on the shoulders of others, I might ask others, what should I do you know, or seek advice. But ultimately, the the, the idea is that I have to make this decision and I have to move myself

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Or I am moved by other people or I am moved by some form of the creation or another. And I want us to unlearn that. And I want us to actually completely change the way in which we look at decision making, to doing something different. And that is that we Yes, we continue to do the research and we continue to, to use the intellect that Allah subhanaw taala gave us, we continue to use those tools and those means, but we are very, very careful to not try to move ourselves but rather get in the habit, the mindset, the heart set of always asking God to move us of always seeking that, that help from him, that we acknowledge in all of those things that we do that we acknowledge in every aspect

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of life, in that khattala mala alum that you know, and I do not know this is a part of, for example, the the prayer of a staccato part of it. And the very beginning of the prayer of staccato, the drama that goes along with this the hottap is that you acknowledge that God knows and you don't know that what I'm asking you to do is to take that acknowledgement, and apply it to everything in your life. And so you're you're actually realizing you're seeing every decision in your life, you're seeing everything, that you're all the movements that you're making it through that lens of God knows best, right? Allah knows, and I don't know. So when we make our movements and when we we use the tools

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that God gave us, but all along we we know and our heart is seeing this reality of iNec. khattala mala alum indeed, you know, and I don't know. So this then applies practically on every level, when we're going to make a big decision, we turn to Allah subhana wa Tada. And we ask Allah, to take us to the best decision, instead of saying, This is what I want, or this is what I think, or this is what I see. Instead, we say, this is what I think but Allah knows best. Instead, we say Allah subhanaw taala, we asked him, to push us and to take us to the best decision. This applies to career choice. This applies to, you know, schooling, this applies to marriage, this applies to every single

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aspect of our life. And it also applies to religion, what I advise you to do, because yes, it's true, there are so many different, apparent ways, right? And even if we say, Okay, I want to follow the path of Islam we've chosen that would allow him even within that there's so many differing opinions, sometimes different ways to worship God, do I, you know, do I, I want to worship God, but do I do it as a doctor or I do it as a writer? You know, how, what is the best way to do this? And and so what I would say is, we really need to go back to this understanding of God knows best. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala to guide us, we ask Allah Spano Tata, to lead us in that direction that

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is most pleasing to Him. And that is most clear. And and one that I would recommend to you, specifically with regards to issues of religion, where you're trying to figure out which path to take, or do I practice this? Or do do do I do this? Or do I follow this filthy opinion or that you continue to do your research, you continue to use the means available to you, through knowledge and through intellect and through understanding, but but one thing ultimately, is, no matter how much information you have, and no matter how much even schooling you have, if Allah Subhana Allah does not guide your heart to the truth, you will never find it. So it's very important that we realize

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that and alongside the efforts that we make, to find truth is is is first and foremost we ask Allah Subhana Allah that to guide us to truth and one dot that is that is specifically for that is Aloma editing. I'll have a haka. Can what zoeken a tibba? What Arenal bartylla botlane What is openacc Inaba. This means, oh God, show us truth capital T. show us truth as truth and bless us with following it and show us false hood capital F and bless us with refraining from it or staying away from it. In the store. We are asking Allah subhana wa tada to give us the correct insight, the correct the clean lens to be able to see things as they really are and to understand which path

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inshallah Allah is going to be pleasing to Allah subhana wa tada

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The next question says Salaam all industrious mean just wanted to say that your show on the marriage Christ

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This was great martial law and I was wondering if you can do another one to extend the reflection maybe.

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inshallah, to Allah, we will have continued, you know, on this topic, I think it's obviously it's, it's pretty much a topic that you could have an entire show about right? Every show about in fact because there's so many issues that relate to that inshallah we will have more, more on that topic.

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Said I'm serious mean, I'm very bitter the past couple of months because my prayers are not being answered, I want to get married, and I see all my friends around me getting married and having a family. What should I, what should I do to not be so resentful towards Allah? This is a very important question. This is a question a lot of us fall into. It's a I think it It happens when we start to,

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we start to see things in a way, you know, sort of mix things up in terms of our perspective, when we say this, so we say that my prayers are not being answered, I think our problem really has to do with what is our ultimate goal? So we have to really, you know, trace it back and sit down with ourselves, sit down with our heart and ask what is my ultimate goal, if we find that our ultimate goal is anything other than Allah subhanaw taala, then this is really the root of our problem. And I'll explain, for example, if my ultimate goal is to get married, that's my ultimate goal, then what happens is, I will ask God to give me that, because that's my ultimate goal. And in fact, what I

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even end up doing is I start to use God as a tool, I started to use God as a means to get to my ultimate goal, which is to get married. As a result, I will make the law I will go back to my religious tradition. And I'll say, Okay, well, how can I use God? Well, God tells me that I can make a wish, right? I can make I can, I can make that. So what I do is I go and I make the law, okay, my ultimate goal is to get married. So every day I asked for that.

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And then when I don't get that, I get very frustrated with this, with this tool that I've just now used as a tool, I get very frustrated, because it's not coming through. For me. This is a lot like,

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basically, we, we have our goals. And unfortunately, we have defined our ultimate goals as things from this life, things of the dunya. To get married, to get a particular job, to have a particular salary, to have children. These are things that we make as our ultimate goal. And what we then do is we use Allah subhanaw taala, to reach that goal. And when he doesn't give us what we asked for, we get very resentful. Now, the problem with this is that Allah subhanaw taala is not a tool, Allah subhanaw taala is not the means. Allah is actually the ultimate goal. If we have that in perspective, and we understand that the reality of our existence is that Allah is the ultimate goal.

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We're told in the Quran again and again and again that every other thing passes away. Every other thing fades except for Allah subhanaw taala qu lumen Allah hefin, right, we are told that everything else is fading away is passing away. except Allah subhanaw taala is the only thing that remains. And so what happens is, and we're also told Allah subhanaw taala is a well, well, one of the attributes of Allah is that he is the first he is the beginning. And he is the last is the end. So everything ends at Allah Subhana Allah and mahseer everything ends there. If we really understand that, then we will be able to see all other things as actually tools to get to a law, all other things as actually

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means of getting to Allah, instead of the other way around. With the reason why we become very hurt. The reason why we become very disappointed. The reason why ultimately we break is because we've switched it around, instead of making Allah subhanaw taala The ultimate goal and making everything else a means. we've switched it around. We've taken this life. We've taken the things from the dunya, which were supposed to be a means to get to a law, and we've made them the goal. And then we've taken a law and made him the means made him the tool and and as I

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I'd like to compare to as though and Allah is high above such analogies out of the villa, as though Allah is a genie in a bottle that we're using, right? We get this, okay? I'm just using this to get to my marriage, or I'm just using this to get to my job. But ultimately, what do I really want, it's not a law that I want. It's my job that I want. It's my money that I want. It's my marriage that I want, it's dunya that I want. And Allah is just there to be used. And, and when that Genie isn't working, we throw the bottle away. And this is how we deal with the Lord of the universe. This is, this is how we deal with Allah subhanaw taala. And that is an injustice of the you know, an infinite

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proportions. Because Allah is not a means Allah is not a tool that we use, and when it's not, you know, it's not working the way we like it, then we throw it away a lot is the end, Allah is the goal. And however Allah subhanaw taala, whatever path Allah gives us to get to that goal, we're grateful, because ultimately, he's our goal. What does that mean? In this context, it means that, suppose for one person, Allah has given them the path of marriage, to get to the goal of Allah. Suppose for another person, Allah has given them the path of not getting married to get to Allah. If both paths get to Allah, then Shouldn't we be pleased? Shouldn't we be satisfied with either Our

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problem is only when a lot is not our destination. And rather, the marriage itself is or the job itself is. And so we are very, very resentful and frustrated when we don't get to that goal. But if we can completely redefine, or basically reorient what is the ultimate goal, then we will be able to be pleased with whatever path takes us there. Even if it means marriage or not marriage, even if it means one career, or, or another, or not getting that career or not having that, you know, that raise or having children or not having children, whatever path takes us to our destination, we don't care, as long as we get to our destination. inshallah, I will take another I'll take our first short

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break now. And when we return, we will continue taking your live questions on the chat box.

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Assalamu alaikum. This is Yasmin, which I hit and you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio, we are returning to your questions on the chat box. And we have the next question. And in fact, there is a number of questions, asking about situations where you want to marry someone, or you want to marry a certain type of person and your parents don't agree, and how do you convince them? Or how do you deal with that? We also have a question about how to deal with a rejected proposal. I think again, these these questions, all all relate back to the same type of issue. And that is how do we accept when we want something and it doesn't work out, right? Or we're trying

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really hard for something that we believe is best for us, or we really want to happen, and it doesn't happen. And to kind of give you an illustration of how one way to be able to see the reality of this. I'll kind of give you a story. And it's a story about something that happened with my son when he was about two years old. What had happened is that that's kind of the age where kids are, are trying to be very independent, right? So he was trying to assert his independence by trying to get himself out of the car and his own and doing his own thing. So I was close by watching over what he was doing. And as he's getting out of the car, you know, he's he's, you know, he's handling it,

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and he's fine. And he's about to close the door. And I notice at this point that if he does, if I allow him to close the door on his own, he's going to hit his head, that the door is going to hit his head, I can see that this is going to happen. He on the other hand, does not see that that would happen. So what I do at that point is I go and I carry him and I close the door myself. Well, you can imagine how upset he got. He got very very upset because I didn't let him close the door. And as you know

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Anyone who's dealt with two year olds knows that they get very upset if they don't get their way. Or if you know, sometimes they really want to do things on their own and be independent. If it's done for them, they get very upset. So he had a meltdown at this point. And and when you, when I was sort of reflecting on that story, it really, within it was a lesson. Because a lot of us as adults are just like that two year old. Because what happens is we want certain things a certain way and, and we want it really badly. And we can't see any problem in it, we can't see any harm in it. However, Allah subhanaw taala knows more, Allah subhanaw taala sees what we don't see and allows high above

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any analogy, but Allah sees what we don't see. And sometimes we really, really want something. But Allah subhanaw taala doesn't let us have it. Sometimes Allah withholds and, or sometimes a less pathetic gives us something different. And we just like that two year old, just like my son, we also we also get very upset. And we also have, you know, that that sort of meltdown, because we didn't, it didn't work out the way I wanted, it didn't happen the way that I know that I I'm certain that it should have. And yet we're not able to step back and realize that at times, Allah subhanaw taala, he withholds things, he doesn't give us things, because he's protecting us. And I didn't let my son

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close the door himself, because I saw harm in it, which he did not see, he could not see. And, and there are many times where we really want a certain thing, you know, it may be that we want really, really want this, to marry this certain person, or we really, really feel attached to a certain individual, and we can't, we've tried everything, and we just, it doesn't work out. Either because of parents or because of one reason or another, it doesn't work out. And it's very hard for us to let go sometimes. And and you know, it's it's really because of a lack sometimes of understanding and of foresight of sight, because we can't see the harm in some things for us. And, and there's

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another there's another beauty to to Allah subhanaw taala withholding, anytime Allah subhanaw taala withholds he's actually giving, so even when Allah gives, so Allah get when, when Allah gives, he's giving. When Allah withholds he is still giving, Allah is always giving us and sometimes we just don't recognize it. Because we don't have that understanding. And it's kind of like we as adults, as well, we go through what what you could call spiritual maturity, right? The you know, with children, you you see them as they grow, they can understand better, you know, once he, if he was eight years old, or 10 years old, you know, and I could explain it to him, I could tell him, and he could maybe

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understand why that happened. And he wouldn't have gotten as upset but because his his low, his level of understanding was less mature, he got very upset. And and we're very similar in as adults, regardless of how old we are. Our our sometimes our spiritual maturity, our insight is not matured, is not very advanced. And we don't see these things for what they are, all we can see is I didn't get to close the door, right? I didn't get the job I wanted or I didn't get admitted to the school, I wanted her I didn't get to marry the person I wanted. That's all we see. But we can't see deeper than that. And we can't acknowledge the the fact that Allah knows best. This is a central part of

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our faith is to understand that every single thing you know that whatever passed us by was not meant to be flawless. And whatever be fellas was not meant to pass us by the prophets lie Selim tells us that a person will never taste the sweetness of faith until they realize this reality that whatever passed you by was not meant to be for you. And whatever be failure was not meant to pass you by Allah Subhana. Allah knows best. We were reminded of this reality again and again in the Quran. And in the in the Hadith, of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. And a lot, for example, tells us in the Quran, you know, the Hadith, or rather, the ayah, that many of us have, have heard many times. And

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that is that it may be that you love something, and it's bad for you. And it may be that you hate something, and it's good for you. Allah knows and we do not know, in you know, Subhanallah I have, I have experienced this in my own life, and I think many of you have as well, then also, sometimes we're asking for something again and again and again, we want a specific thing over you know, so badly and Allah subhanaw taala doesn't give it to us. And at times, that's because Allah subhanaw taala wants to give us something better. And you'll you'll see that you know, life teaches you and when you look back at your life is when you really are able to see

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You know, they say in the cliche that hindsight is 2020, that when you look back, you can understand a lot better than when you're in it. And, and we should be good, we should start to do that we should start to reflect on our lives and learn lessons, that's part of maturing, that's part of growing, that's part of development, is being able to look back at our life and say, Okay, this was this was an instance where I really, really wanted XYZ, I really wanted that job, or I really wanted to marry that person. And Allah subhanaw taala, didn't let it work out, didn't make it work out. But then look what happened. Instead, look at what I got, instead of that, that particular thing I asked

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for, and it was so much better for me, being able to really sit and reflect on our lives, in that way is essential for our development, and for our growth internally. So that whenever we're faced in the future, was something that we you know, we try all all we can we've we've exhausted the means. And it does not work out that we're able to say, you know what, I've learned, you know, so now, it's not just book knowledge, but it's experiential knowledge. I have learned experientially that sometimes Allah withholds to give me something better, that Allah subhanaw taala knows better for me. And so it becomes a very solid knowledge when we reflect on our lives. And it helps us to deal

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in the future, whenever things don't work out exactly the way we want it. We know that Allah wants what's best for us. This is an essential part of hosting of London Villa, that having a good opinion of Allah subhanaw taala. If you know for sure that Allah always wants good for you that whatever Allah chooses for you, you know, again, you've exhausted the means you've done what you can, but OLED shows a different option for you that you know, with full certainty that Allah only once Good for you, it really has to do with our understanding of who Allah is. So if you have a friend, or rather, if you think about a physician, if you have a doctor, and you have one doctor, who you

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completely trust, and you have another doctor who you don't really trust, you kind of think that that other doctor, either a doesn't know what he's talking about, or she's talking about, or B does not have your best interests in mind. If you if you believe that someone that that doctor doesn't know what they're talking about, or doesn't have your best interests in mind, you're not going to trust what he or she is doing for you. But when you go to a doctor who you completely trust, and you know that that doctor is specialized in that field, and you know that that doctor has your best interests in mind, whatever the doctor tells you, you're going to trust it. And you're going to

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believe that, okay, he told me to take this medication, or he told me to do this treatment, even when the treatment hurts, even when it involves a shot, even when it involves something that causes us pain, we trust the doctor. And therefore we know that this is for my own good, because this doctor a knows what he's talking about knows what she's talking about. And be has my best interests in mind. Now think about Allah subhanho wa Taala. If you're the type of person who doesn't trust Him, who doesn't realize who doesn't believe that he has your best interests in mind that he wants what's good for you, then you're always going to question every time something doesn't happen the

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way you want it or you or you're always going to be broken by that. Because you don't really firmly know Allah subhanaw taala as the one who wants what's best for you, and who knows best? The the the answer to this, this constant, you know, the solution to this constant disappointment when things don't work out the way we want them is to really get to know the doctor is to really get to know Allah subhanaw taala and to know that this is our Creator, who a knows best, absolutely his knowledge extends over all things and his mercy extends over all things and that he has your best interests in mind this is part of, of hosting with London Villa having the best opinion of Allah

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subhanaw taala. So how can you question how can you question someone who knows better and who has your best interest in mind? Sadia writes salaam aleikum everyone please make dua for my daughter who is three and still not taking much and Doc's are suspecting autism. I believe in the power of da so remember her in your prayers. Thank you all. May Allah subhanahu wa ilac Who are your daughter and and give her inshallah to Allah a full recovery for Shiva and May Allah subhanaw taala make it easy on her and make it easy on you and make

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In whatever condition either of you are in a means to get closer to him, and mean, Laila rights Will I ever find a practicing Muslim husband, if I have a past, I have started practicing Islam more recently, but seems like my past will affect my future. I am quite worried about finding a good husband. Laila, what I say to you and to all those who who have a past, which is, which is, you know, I think that there's different ways to look at this, but none of us are perfect. We, we all have mistakes that we've made. So in that sense, we all have passed in one in one way or another. However, what we need to realize is this, a couple things, one is all risk, all provision comes from

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advisor, all provision comes from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And your good husband is also a provision is also a risk, you should never fear, your risk, like you should never fear that your risk will not come. If you are seeking it from a reserve. If you're seeking your provision from the provider, from the most generous, Allah subhanaw taala

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is Al Karim as well as the most generous, someone who is the most generous loves to give Allah subhanaw taala is and Wahab The one who loves to give gifts, specifically, also a lot is is all of these things when it comes to giving when it comes to generosity when it comes to provision. Now, you also spoke about your past meaning is since right, Allah is also the most merciful, Allah subhanaw taala is also a Rahman and Rahim. And at the web, Allah is also the one who loves to forgive and forgive again and again and again, and forgives even the greatest of sins. So really, you know, we only really start to worry about these things. If we, if we think that there's a limit,

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right? We only worry about our provision, if we believe that there's a limit in the source of provision, that's the only time we would worry, right? It's kind of like in Ramadan.

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Everyone's really hungry. And if if people believe that there's only a limited amount of food, that's kind of when they start to push and shove and, and, and, and budge in line, right. But if you thought that there was an unlimited source of food, you really wouldn't be too worried. You don't need to push, you don't need a shove, you just you know, you're gonna get your food, there's no limited quantity, there's no limited source, you know, it's like Black Friday deals, right? You have, that's how they do it is they want they they have a limited amount of really, really good deals. And that's how they get you to the stores, right? So they have a limited amount. it you know,

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that supply and demand. So they have very, very limited supply. And then you have this huge demand. So how do people act? Well, you know, one year there was a woman who was like using mace on people like literally, because she needed to get her video game for a certain amount, you know, certain price and she knew that that there was a limited quantity, a limited supply. This is how we act as human beings when when we feel that the supply is limited, we start to become anxious, right. But if we knew that there was an unlimited supply an unlimited source, then we don't feel anxious, we don't worry. This is really how we cure the problem of anxiety, when it comes to risk is if you thought

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that your risk was limited or the source of your provision was limited, then it makes sense to be worried. But when you know that it comes from an unlimited source, we're told in a hadith klutzy that if every single human being of all creation, if all of mankind from the beginning till the end, came together and asked Allah subhanaw taala for something also think about all from all time, asked Allah subhanaw taala for something and if he were to give every single one of them what they asked for, it would not decrease his kingdom, any more than a than a needle decreases the water from an ocean when you dip it into it. And so this is who we're dealing with. We're dealing with Allah

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subhanaw taala, who's who's a source that is an unlimited as a source that is that is that is unending and does not diminish. So that is how we keep that hope and that is how we keep from despairing. And that applies to provision and it also applies to mercy. If we thought that our sins or our past was too great for Allah subhanaw taala to forgive, then we don't know who Allah subhanaw taala is, that means we're saying that our sins are greater than his mercy which in and of itself is a is a

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It is a blasphemy to even believe that anything supersedes His mercy, His mercy, your mercy, what's the article the Shea Allah says that my mercy, it encompasses every single thing. So So Allah is Mercy is unending, and Allah subhanaw taala is a rock man or Rahim, Allah forgives, often over and over and also Allah forgives even the the biggest of sins. And lastly, with that question of a past, I want it I want to remind you of the story of some of the greatest companions that ever you know that some of the greatest human beings that ever walked the earth, and those are the companions of the Prophet sallallahu to send them. When you look at for example, the story of Ahmad rhodiola. And

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it is such a powerful lesson in Allah's power to to transform and and and Allah subhanaw taala has power to to completely erase a quote unquote, past look at alma mater, Ilan. Omar Abdullah and was someone who had buried his daughter, as was the tradition at that time, you know, where they would bury their daughters alive, he had done that. And so he would be, you know, if if we use the terminology, his in his past he had murdered, he was a murderer. And in fact, he was on his way to murder the profits of the mycelium he was going to kill the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And look at what he became, you know, he was someone who had a past and he had more of a past than any

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of us do. And yet Allah subhanaw taala, you know, completely turned it around. And he ended up being one of the 10 promised Jenna, one of the greatest people to walk the earth, the person who the prophet SAW the light to send them said, if there was any other prophet after, you know, other than those who allege shows, it would be almost no deal on. So you know, this is this is really where we have to come back and and understand who we're dealing with, we're dealing with Allah subhanaw taala we are not dealing with some limited quantity, or some limited source of mercy or provision. So so what I say to you is, is never, never worry that Allah subhanaw taala can provide, just make sure

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that you are making Allah what you love most. And that's key that you that you that what you love, and what you fear. And what you hope in most is Allah subhanaw taala when you do that, he takes care of everything else. Chawla, we will take another short break now. And when we return, we will look again at the chat box for your live questions.

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Assalamu alaikum This is yesterday and Raja Hinton, you're listening to serenity streaming live on one legacy radio, we are taking your questions live in the chat box. And we have a number of questions related to marriage related to having trouble seeking a spouse and and having trouble with a spouse and how to sort of, you know, make it so that we're successful in that domain. And I think, inshallah, to address some of those questions. You know, some people are saying that they want to start to be more practicing, and, you know, especially start their marriage in the right way. Some people said that they were starting to wear hijab and, you know, and what's the best way to do that?

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I I want to, I want to say that, you know, Subhanallah The, the answers are really much more simple than than we make them a lot of times we complicate things and really the answer is much simpler than we think. And all Honestly, this the way to be successful in every single aspect of our life is stay close to Allah subhanho data. That sounds very vague, right? How do I stay close to Allah subhanaw taala. I'm going to simplify it. The way to stay close to Allah subhanaw taala is essentially, we have to do two things consistently. First, we have to consistently clean our hearts through Toba. Basically, our hearts are the our prized possession right our heart if we want to be

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close to Allah subhanaw taala how do we be close to him? The way we are close to Allah is through the heart. That's the apparatus that becomes close to Allah subhanaw taala that's the sacred land in which Allah subhanaw taala draws close to us. So we have to keep that clean, you are not going to invite a very important key

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into your house, if it's dirty, and that and you know, it's just a king, it does not enter a dirty house, Allah subhanaw taala does not enter a dirty heart. So we have to consistently be cleaning our hearts with repentance. When whenever we commit sins, we are dirtying that house, we are dirtying the heart. And we can't expect that there will ever be a point where we stop committing sins because none of us are angels. We are human beings and we are weak. And there is no way that we can live a life a life where we never commit sins again, we, we constantly it's kind of like expecting that I took a shower today so now I don't have to take a shower again for the rest of my life. Because you

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know what, I'm clean now. Right? And and I'm no dirt is going to get on me, that's impossible. If someone said that, you know, you'd say they were crazy. And so that's really the same reality, a spiritually the same reality internally, we are of course going to get dirty. And and and what happens to a person who doesn't take a shower regularly is they become very, very dirty, that person will start to smell and will start to build up dirt. Similarly, the heart, the heart also begins begins to to build up dirt on it from the stains of sin. So repentance, keeping the heart clean, by consistently asking Allah to forgive us, as default, asking Allah subhanaw taala to protect us from

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the effect of our sin from the stain of our sin and to wash that away Toba coming back to Allah asking Allah subhanaw taala with humility and sincerity to forgive us. And this is has to be consistent, just like you consistently take a bath. Second, is we have to feed the heart. You know, these are realities which we know in the physical world to take care of a body, what do you do? You feed it, and you keep it clean? Right? It's the same thing with the heart. We have a lot of hearts out there that are starving, they're not being fed, and then they wonder and then people wonder why am I having problems connecting to God? Or? Or why am I having problems in understanding this or

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that or so many problems. In fact, every single problem that we have, can be traced back to this, this one issue. And that is the condition of the heart with Allah subhanaw taala the nearness of the heart to Allah subhanaw taala. And so we have people who starve their hearts. And they don't understand why, why there's a problem. You know, if you were to starve a body, you know, it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out, hey, you know, you're dying, because you're not eating, you're starving, because you're not eating it with the heart, it's the same thing. We don't remember a lot enough, we don't have enough Vicar in our life, enough remembrance. When we save the kid, the

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kid remembrance is this is this umbrella term, which includes any type of remembrance, it includes the DA that we make, it includes prayer, it includes reading input, and it includes seeking knowledge, and includes being in the company of those who are remembering Allah, it includes halaqaat, and classes and lectures online. All of these things are ways to remember a lot of God, when we say in the morning, when you wake up, subpanel, Allahu Akbar, all the data that we say throughout the day, these are all under the the overall umbrella of victory. And it is that victory, which is the food of the heart. If we are, if we are not giving our heart, enough of that food,

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guess what, it's going to starve, and eventually the heart becomes disease, and and it can die, that heart is not going to be healthy. And a healthy heart cannot be close to Allah subhanaw taala a, a heart that is not healthy, cannot see things properly, cannot understand things properly, and is going to have a lot of problems. So when you ask you, you know, you ask these questions of how do I make it right? If it's wrong, or how do I, you know, how do I start off on the right foot? How do I get closer to a less power than a How do I keep this problem from happening? How do I deal with this pain that I'm doing all of these questions, the answer comes back to this one issue. And that is

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keeping your heart healthy with Allah subhanaw taala. And very again, it is very, very simple. It has to do with cleaning your cleaning your heart from the sin through Toba repentance consistently, and feeding and nourishing your heart with food, through the remembrance of Allah. That means you can't be missing prayers. That means that you need to strive to focus better in your prayers. That means you need to increase your time with Allah subhanaw taala alone, making God reflecting reading his words, not just reading them, you know? And just to read it and to finish but to understand and to ponder and to think about what are these words have to do with my life? Why

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You know, what is it that Allah subhanaw taala is telling me personally Today, on this day in 2012, you know, this is what we have to ask. And this is what we have to do in order to keep that heart alive in order to keep, you know, just just the same way that we have to keep our body alive by eating, and then keep it clean. By taking a bath. We need to keep our heart alive by through the kid, and we need to keep it clean through Toba and istikhara.

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Nafisa writes, my heart is filled with regret for things I've done and opportunities I've missed in life. How does one take away the bitterness of life's regrets? I've made so many mistakes, the way that one takes away, the bitterness of life's regrets is that you realize, you come back to focusing on the ultimate goal is you come back to thinking okay, all these things have happened to me. What am I doing all this for? Why am I here? You know, we have to come back to these essential questions. To put things into perspective. My ultimate goal is to be as close to God as possible, simple, very simple. All the things that have happened in my life, if they take me closer to that ultimate goal,

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than I am thankful for them. How can you regret anything that happened in your life? If ultimately it brought you back to God? How can you possibly regret anything that happened in your life, if ultimately, it brought you back to your ultimate goal to the definition of success? It wouldn't make sense that I would regret something that made me successful. Our problem is that we have the wrong definitions of success, and we have the wrong definitions of failure. If we can redefine correctly, what is success? capital S, right? delphos allow them right the real success and what is failure, the real failure capital F, that those people who really have lost, if we can redefine what those

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things mean? Then we can put everything back into perspective if we can redefine success, as being that one who Allah subhanaw taala is pleased with after this life has passed after this whole illusion. This this blink of an eye of a life has passed this blink of an eye of a dunya of a world has passed the one who Allah is pleased with the one who Allah has forgiven. And when Allah subhanaw taala says woman zozi Han and not what Jenna faqad fez, it's really very simple. The definition of success, the one who was just barely saved from Hellfire and entered into Jenna, indeed, he has succeeded, that is success. And if if anything that happened in your life, ultimately brings you to

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success, that how can you regret it? It doesn't matter what it was, but if it brought you to success, then that's the definition of happiness. That's the definition of gratitude, thank God I was successful. Again, we have to redefine success, we have to redefine failure. Know that, you know, you're our our issue with with even defining failure is you know, is that we think that I have failed, if my relationship didn't work out or my or I lost my job or, or you know, I wasn't able to, to get the status that I wanted or didn't get into the school and that's how we define failure. And so we regret but if we really, really come back to the the proper definitions of these things, we

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would be able to put our life into perspective and Subhanallah there's many stories to teach us this but inshallah I'm going to share just these and that is when you look at the the Sita of the Prophet sallallaahu Selim, there's a one of the greatest companions of the Prophet Muhammad sallahu wa sallam was a man named Malik in the dinar, and Malik abney dinar wasn't always practicing, as we would call. He wasn't always one of the greatest companions of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam. In fact, he used to be an alcoholic, he used to be someone who would get drink excessively, and live that type of life. And one, you know, one one time, and basically he, he had a daughter,

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who he loved very, very much, probably that was what he one of the most beloved things to him. And one day his daughter died. when she was very young, she passed away at this point, Malik in the dinar, rhodiola and was so devastated by her death, that he swore he would drink more than he had ever drank before, until he passed out. And when he passed out, he had a very profound dream. In that dream

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He saw himself running away trying to escape from a giant snake. And he sees an old man and he says to the old man, save me. But the old man says, I'm too weak to save you. And then he eventually gets to another area where he sees some children. And he sees, he hears his daughter's name, the one who had passed away, and he goes to her, and he and he talks to her in the dream. And she says to him, Do you know who that old man was? And you know who that snake was? And she goes on to explain to him who they were. And she said that that snake is your bad deeds, and that old man is your good deeds, your good deeds were too weak to save you from your bad deeds. And then she goes on to recite an

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ayah from Surah Al Hadid, lm ER and na la Vina M and who and tuck Shaku boom, the decree law and the idea continues, and the means has the time not come for lm yet in any levena M and will have this has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts will be shaken or moved by the by the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala that they would humble themselves by the remembrance of God. Lacuna Coil Lavina O'Toole keytab, Amina kaaboo photo Allah, Allah, human Amadou for Casa tolu boom, and that they would not be like those who were given the book before and time went by, and their hearts became hardened. And Subhanallah A lot of us are in that situation. Our good deeds are

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too weak to save us from our bad deeds and our hearts have become hardened. So this area is asking has the time not come for the hearts of the believers to be humbled by the remembrance of Allah subhana wa tada we have forsaken the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala. And as a result, our hearts have become hardened. And as a result, we face all the problems that we currently face in our lives is because of this reason. When he woke up from that dream, he went to the masjid and prayed fetchit and when he went there, the Imam recited that very verse. And he goes on to explain that from that day on his life just transformed, he transformed his life and he became, he went from

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being this, this alcoholic with a quote passed to being one of the greatest companions ever to walk the earth. And one thing that we can learn from this among many lessons is it was a tragedy. It was the loss of his daughter that brought him back. It was the it was a tragic event. It was a painful event, it was a loss that ultimately brought him back to ultimate success. So we see here that that isn't something that when you look at it from the larger scheme of things, right when you widen the lens, and you really see it, yes, he lost some time with his daughter in this life. But because of that event, he eventually it completely changed him. And as a result, he ended up being one of the

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greatest and nearest Allah subhanaw taala, one of the greatest companions, one of those nearest to Allah, and now inshallah to Allah He will be with his daughter forever. So it was again sometimes it's a tragedy sometimes it's a painful event, it's a loss, something not working out. But if it brings you closer to ultimate success, woman's obviously hand and nod will declare Jenna for hot fez. If it brings you closer to that cell vation salvation from from Hellfire and entering Jenna and being with Allah subhanaw taala then it was actually good for you. According Polly Heather was stuck for a lolly will come in Nova funan Rahim subhanak allover hendak Chateau La Ilaha Allah and the

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stock through kona tulelake was salaamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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