Yasmin Mogahed – Why Cant I Get What I Want

Yasmin Mogahed
AI: Summary © The youth leaders network meeting discusses the importance of achieving a clear goal and a clear goal in life. Success is defined based on achieving a goal, and speakers emphasize the need for people to be patient and avoid mistakes. The speakers also emphasize the importance of staying ahead of potential challenges and opportunities, and the need for patience and resilience in the face of inflation and the coronavirus pandemic. The uncertainty surrounding the pandemic is a temporary one-time event, and the US economy is not ready to predict the future.
AI: Transcript ©
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This means you

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either must sell

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Allah Are you

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matassa boo,

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Boo say Toma Casa boo mama

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be more gZ

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lipo me You mean?

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Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem. Praise be to Allah alone in peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, his companions and whoever follows his guidance. salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Good evening to you all might ask today is to read out the agenda.

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First, you have heard the recitation of Holy Quran by Shama light rays. The next in the agenda is opening remarks by Shylock for

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the next in the agenda is the lecture of Yasmin, which is a talk on the topic, why can't I get what I want? Now, I'd like to welcome Shai laga, for

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smilla rahmanir rahim in the Name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate, and prize to be got a lot of all the world's prayers based upon our Master Muhammad, and all

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and all his house and companions Assalamu alaikum dear brothers and sisters,

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on behalf of youth leaders network, I agreed, I greet you all with a very warm and heartfelt welcome for I don't in this mighty list with your presence. And those who will sit and sir on assemblies of Saqqara made this gathering be blessed and ranked of such a mean.

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Before starting with

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his introductions, I would like to thank Islamic ministry for believing in youth leaders network and handing over such a significant responsibility to us. You'd later

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network is a council founded to promote and empower youth through the pillars of grant and soon, as soon as youth is tested with unprecedented challenges where paths presented often mislead from the right, the council aims and strives to create an action based community to pave the way for the youth to have their fair share in the decision making leadership roles. Moving on. It's both an honor and a privilege to be able to introduce you to sister yum and Martha has

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been a 1980 in Egypt. She's known for her gift of captivating and enter audience with her thoughts and insightful reflections. She has completed her Bachelors of Science in psychology and Master's in journalism in mass communications from the University of Wisconsin Madison.

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After completing her graduate work, she taught Islamic Studies and served as a youth coordinator. She also worked as a writing instructor at a cardinal Stritch University and a staff columnist for The Islam section in focus news.

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She is a writer for The Huffington Post, an international speaker and an author where she focuses most of her work on spiritual and personal development. Her ability to relate all intervals of life to one's relationship with create with the Creator is the remedy for those seeking comfort and solace in this linear and she has the honor of becoming Alma Alma urbane, seduce first female instructor.

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She also has programs and shows today she will give us some precious information on the topic. Why can't I get what I want?

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Now I would like to welcome sister Yasmin to give the lecture May Allah grant us all acceptance, Braddock just when my dad and facilitate our work and so when the seeds of Islam sister Yasmin

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our the blind administrate honor regimes rahmanir rahim salatu salam ala rasulillah Juan and he was happy and may not be shortlisted recently on the block that Emily Sania. Oh, Holly.

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I was surprised where I'm from usually you keep your age secret, but

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everyone now knows how old

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so Miss Miller, why can't I get what I want?

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This is a really common question. And you know, in the recitation that was given today, there was a verse where Allah subhanaw taala addresses, the people who have wronged themselves. Oh, Paul, yeah, Eva da alladhina asstra for Allah and for him, that all say all my slaves. Now it's important to notice here that Allah is addressing his slaves. And when Allah addresses his slaves, this is actually a very honorable title. This was the best title that Allah subhanaw taala gave to the Prophet. So the lightest Selim, my slave, and in this area, Allah subhanaw taala is addressing specifically his slaves. And then after addressing his slaves, Allah subhanaw taala says, which,

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which is something we don't typically imagine, and that is that he's addressing his slaves. And then he says, who have cool Yeah, Eva de la Vina Astra for Allah and forcing him say, all my slaves, my slave, who have wronged their own selves, or sort of who Allah and forcing that they have wronged their own selves. And what does it mean to wrong yourself? What is Allah subhanaw taala talking about here? What is the the most intensive type of wrong that you can do to yourself? The answer to that question is by committing sins, by disobeying Allah, I'm wronging myself, as you and I both know, Allah subhanaw taala is not in need of us. Right? Allah is the most rich allows alleghany and

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it's we who need Allah right? We are the poor. So if we decide to disobey Allah subhanaw taala who is it that is being wronged? Who is it that is being harmed? Rather, it is me it's I wrong and harm my own self when I disobey a lot because I can't harm Allah. Allah subhanaw taala tells us that if every single human being were as pious as the most pious person, meaning if every single human being was like angels, right, every human being, or at least the most pious of a human being, it would not increase a lost Kingdom any more than you know, if you take a needle and you put it in the seat

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It does it, how much does it take away from the water? Nothing, right? Allah is saying that even if every single one of us worshipped him in the best way, it doesn't make him any more rich. It doesn't increase anything for him. And so we know from this that Allah is the most rich and says, I am the one who's

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if I am disobeying Allah, then I'm hurting myself. I'm not hurting unless I know that I'm hurting myself. In this area, Allah is addressing his belief is his slaves, who which ones, the ones who are wronging their own selves by sinning? What this shows us. Number one is that even the slaves of Allah also commit sins, that even the slaves of Allah are not perfect. But then what is our goal? What is our ultimate objective? If it's, if it isn't, if it's if I'm telling you, we can't be perfect? Why can't we be perfect? The reason we can't be perfect is because we weren't created as angels. Human beings are different than angels, what's the difference between a human being and an

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angel? The the essential difference between a human being and an angel, is the fact that the human being has a choice. The human being has a choice to worship Allah or to disobey Allah. Whereas an angel has no choice. When I as a human being decide to disobey Allah, I am using my choice. But I am also wronging myself. So Allah subhanaw taala gave the human being that opportunity to choose. And because we have that opportunity to choose, it means that sometimes we are going to make wrong choices, that sometimes we're going to sin. That's part of being human. So then what is our goal? What is our goal? The goal then means that it isn't, as as the profits I sell in tells us, all of

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the children of Adam are going to make mistakes, all of the children of Adam will err will make mistakes and will will, will commit errors. But the best of them are those who repent.

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This now tells us that our goal is something else. Because we might think that our goal is to be perfect. And when we cannot be perfect, we give up. And many people do this, they want to be perfect. And when they find they're not perfect, they want to give up completely. And this also something shaitan will come and tell you that when you're

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you know, especially when you're first starting to become religious, you know what I'm talking about, like either you just started practicing, or maybe you just reverted to Islam just came to Islam. And when you first start to practice, your you want to be perfect, right? You don't want to make any mistakes. And then what happens is, once you slip once you make a mistake shaitan will come to you at that point. And he will make you feel like you should give up. Why through despair by by making you lose hope. The reason he can do that is because we have this, this idea that we're supposed to be perfect that that's the goal. But we have to have the correct goal.

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And the correct goal is this, that as the prophets I send them tells us

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that the best of those children of Adam are the ones who after they commit a mistake after they commit a sin. they repent, Toba and it's default that they when they fall, they get back up, and they don't lose hope. And they keep going. What is our all ultimate? Can I ask you this question? What is our ultimate purpose in this life? What is our ultimate purpose of creation? of why is it that we were made? A lie answers this question for us in the quarter and very, very clearly. We're malloc to general INS olalia boon. We have not created gin in human beings, except for one reason. And that is to enslave ourselves to Allah, Leah boon to worship him to enslave ourselves to Him to

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know and love and obey Him.

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That's the reason why we were created. Now once you guys still hold that in your mind for a second, I want you to hold that in your head for a second. If that is

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if that is our ultimate purpose. That's why I was made. Alright. Now I'm going to back up a second and ask you a question. How do you define success?

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Like, for example, take in school.

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How would you say I was successful in this class, or I was successful in this in this assignment. The way that I would say I'm successful is that I had a goal and I achieved my goal right? Agreed.

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So success means that I am coming closer to my goal. Everyone agree. So then what would failure be?

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opposite, right? Which is to go farther away from my goal. Fair enough. Everybody agree?

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Now let's take that definition of success and failure and look at our life. Look at our existence. Look at the bigger picture, right? We all agreed just now, that the purpose or the ultimate goal that we all have is what?

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To get closer to Allah. Right? Allah says, well, math haluk tiljander wellons allele algodon, which means I wasn't created for any other purpose, ultimately, except to become a slave to Allah. That would mean then that anything that brings me closer to being a slave to Allah, anything that brings me closer to Allah is in fact success. And anything that brings me away from Allah is in fact, failure. Makes sense?

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That brings us to the original question, why can't I get what I want? Why can't I get what I want?

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There's another related question to this question, which I'm going to ask you, and I want you to think about it. It's a question that a lot of people have trouble with. And that's the question of why do bad things happen to good people? Why do bad things happen to good people? I'm using quotes because good and bad here are in quotes. This is this is a term that people use, why do bad things happen to good people? How do we answer this question?

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Many people have so much trouble answering this question that they disbelieve in God, or they just believe in religion, because they can't answer this question. What is the answer to this question?

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Anyone want to try?

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Okay, this is very close. She says that we don't know for sure if it's actually a good or a bad thing. That's very, very close to what I'm looking for. Anyone else want to try?

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God wants to test us. What does it mean, when we say that God wants to test us? How does God test us?

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mean, God wants to test us, but does a lot test us like a teacher tests us, gives us an exam goes away, and then waits to see what we'll do that how God tests us. What's the purpose of tests?

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I want you guys to think about this. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why? Why does that happen?

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By the way, the two answers that I got were both correct. They were both correct. And beyond that, I want to add something.

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I want to actually answer this question and tell you that, in fact, bad things never happen to good people.

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Bad things never happen to good people. So the question itself is flawed. The question assumes, as you alluded to, the question assumes that this thing is bad that has happened.

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And that is an assumption that is incorrect.

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The prophets I send them tells us that

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the matter of a believer is strange, ajiboye only unmarried woman, the matter of a believer is strange, honorable kulu have all of his matters are good.

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All of the matters of a believer are good, are good friend.

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How would that be possible?

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As it goes on to say

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that if it's something that we want, something we like or he likes, he wants, then he is grateful. So it is good for him.

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And if it is something that he or she does not like or something difficult, or a hardship, he or she is patient, so it is good for him.

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And the prophets lie Selim emphasizes something important here, and that is that he says this is only the case for a believer.

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Meaning bad things never happen to good people.

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But bad things do happen to bad people. Okay, so this, this, this except this, this sort of privilege that we have this privilege of having everything be good for you, no matter what it is, is only for a believer. That means even when you're being tested, that means even when you're going through hardship, it's still good for you if and only if you are a believer. That's the only way to qualify for this is by being a believer. That means that good things only happen to good people. It means that if you are indeed a good person, if you indeed have a man in your heart, if you are a believer, and and does being a believer mean that you're perfect. No.

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No one's perfect. No one's perfect. Adam alayhis salam,

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we are told about his slip when he ate from the tree. This teaches us something a lot could have not told us. I mean, there's countless things that Adam alayhis salaam did, that we aren't told about. And we don't know every single action that he did, right? But Allah chose to tell us specifically about that action. He told us specifically about that slip for a reason to teach us. What is he teaching us? Through telling us this specific story and he chooses this of all the different actions? Why? What do we learn from the story?

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Can someone tell me?

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What's the purpose of telling us the story of Adam actually slipping? of Adam being told not to eat from the tree and then eating from the tree?

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That that everyone makes mistakes. Absolutely. Right. What else?

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So it first It teaches us that everyone makes mistakes. But then it teaches us something else. Not only that everyone makes mistakes, but something beyond that.

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What, go ahead,

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how to correct them. What does Adam alayhis salaam do after he makes a mistake? What does he do after he slips?

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repentance. So this not only is a lesson of the fact that we we will slip and that you can you that a good person does not mean a perfect person, that a good person means a person as the Hadith says that when they slip, they repent. And that's the example of Adam Allison, that we're learning here that when he slipped, we learn what he did after and that is that he called out to Allah subhanaw taala robina alumna and for Sunnah we're in Lambton Filipina What are Hamlet and akuna, nominal ha serene, he humbled himself, and he sought forgiveness. So this teaches us what we need to do when we slip, this gives us hope. This gives us hope. And it also gives us humility, because it teaches us

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that we're not perfect, and that when we slip up, we will slip. And when we slip, we get back up and we repent. That's what the story teaches us.

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So what it what it's showing us here is that, that our ultimate goal is to get as close to the slavery full slavery to Allah as possible in the best way we can. That doesn't mean perfection. And then it means that if we are in fact believers, if we are, in fact believers, then anything that happens to us, will become good for us. Tell me what that means in my life, what that means in your life. Do you always get what you want?

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Do you always get what you want. So sometimes you're going to want a certain job very badly, or you're going to want a certain grade very badly, or you're going to want to,

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you know, be able to get a specific type of raise or career or whatever it is that you're gonna want. And sometimes it's not gonna work out, right, from when from from from the time you were young. You didn't get every toy you wanted, right? Sometimes your toys broke, sometimes you you know, then you get a little bit older, you couldn't wear all the clothes that you want, and you wanted a specific type of brand. You couldn't get it. So you learn early on that you don't always get what you want. Correct. The question now brings us to Why? Why can't I get everything I want? How do you answer that question? Why can't we get everything that we want? Give me one reason? Yes.

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Why can I get everything I want in this life?

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Just a simple reason. It's very it's it's the more obvious reason and that is what? It's not Jenna.

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Right? It's dunya. What is dunia mean? One of the characteristics of dunya is that it's imperfect, right? Not only is it imperfect, but it's also temporary. So one of the reasons why I cannot get everything I want is because that's just the nature of this thing called dunya. I live in a world that is not perfect, and that is not permanent. It's temporary and it's imperfect. That's how it is if I'm trying to change it, it's like you guys Mashallah surrounded by water, right? surrounded by ocean everywhere you Mashallah.

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I'm amazed, by the way that just yeah, this blows my mind. I, I live on one continent, you know, and y'all like have 1800 Islands and you take boats, that's amazing to me. But you have a lot of access to the ocean, right? And I mean, this is the thing if you compare this life to the ocean, in this is this was actually an analogy, one of the scholars made this dunya being like an ocean.

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If you compare it to an ocean, you say, Okay, so this life is like an ocean. But suppose that I decide.

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I don't want the ocean to make me wet. I decide, no, I don't want to get wet. And I throw myself in the water. And I get upset that I'm getting wet. I'm, I'm expecting something from the ocean. That's impossible, right? Because the nature of the water is that it makes things wet. For me to expect the water to be something that it's not is foolish on my on my part, right? I know that if I jump in the water, I'm going to get wet for me to expect something else from the water is is silly. It's foolish. Similarly, if I expect something from dunya, that's against the nature of dunya. I expect to get everything I want. It just simply it's like saying I expect that the water that the ocean

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won't make me wet. Okay, it doesn't make sense. This is the nature of dunya you cannot expect it to be Jenna. can't expect it to be something that it's not. You can't expect to get everything you want. So that's just that's just the obvious. First let level first layer of of reason, then brings us to the question that you bring up, the brother brings up and that is you don't know what's good for you. You don't necessarily know what's good for you. So Allah subhanaw taala says what and sort of tell Bukhara, Asa, and Takahashi and overheid on Lacan, was and to hibou Shea and wahiawa Sharon Lakhan, well, La Jolla Alamo and to let Alamo so Allah subhanaw taala says in certain Bukhara, that

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it may be that you hate something, and it's good for you. And it may be that you love something and it's bad for you, right? So Allah subhanaw taala is telling us as the brother said, so when I'm when I'm asking the question, Why can I get such and such that I want?

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Okay, so why was I created? What's my ultimate purpose?

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To do what?

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To worship Allah? So we said, anything that brings me closer to that purpose of success, right? And anything that takes me away is failure. So here now the question is what's going to be good for me anything that does what?

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Anything that brings me closer to my ultimate goal, which is what?

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Which is Allah, and then anything that takes me away is bad for me. Now back up to the question, Why do good? Why did bad things happen to good people?

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Bad things never happened to good people? Because anything that happens to a believer does what? does it bring you closer to a law or take you away? Do you understand No. Closer. And that's that's the amazing phenomenon about anything that happens to a believer is that it always brings you closer to Allah. And that's because a believer responds properly. When a believer responds properly, no matter what happens to you, whether it's something you want, or something you don't want, it still brings you closer to Allah. And that's why it's good for you. That's why the prophets I send them said

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that the matter of a believer strange, everything is good for you. Whether it's something difficult, or it's something easy, if it's bringing you closer to Allah than actually a good thing just happened to you. It wasn't a bad thing happening to

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what does this mean? Now? So okay.

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What does this mean? It means I have to go back and I have to redefine good and bad and as the as the brother said, right? The A is telling me this, that Allah is reminding me that I might hate something and it's good for me. And I might love something. It's bad for me. So it tells me what that I have to redefine good and bad.

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Now, what if I asked you how do I redefine good and bad? What's the proper definition of good and bad?

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Raise your hand.

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What's the proper definition of good, good and bad? Okay, what's something good? what's what's, what's the proper definition of something good?

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Exactly, exactly any. And it seems really simple, but it's so profound. Something that brings me closer to Allah is something good. That means that anything, no matter what it is, even if it's a hardship, that's bringing me closer to Allah is actually good. Now, that's a different definition of good than we typically have. Our typical definition of good is something that makes me rich, something that makes me

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something that makes gives me ease, right? We typically think that if I gain a lot of money or gain a lot of success, or I get what I want, then that's good. But what if what I want brings me away from Allah? What if that is actually taking me away from Allah? Is it good or bad?

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Okay, anything that brings me away from Allah, that completely changes how we understand the world.

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You see, and Allah actually gives us examples of this in the Quran, I'm going to give you guys two examples in the Quran, that teach this lesson of something being different than it seems different than it seems. So the first one is the story of cartoon. Anyone know this story? Yes, no? Okay, I'm going to talk about it. The story of Cartoon Cartoon was a man who lived at the time of Musa alayhis salaam. And he was so rich, that Allah says that the keys to his wealth was wealth. So can you imagine owning so much that just the keys to your property was if it was like weight, it would be wealth. So the keys to what he owned was, was itself wealth. And what he would do is he would walk

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and he would show off, you know, like, the red carpet clip thing, right? That's what he used to do. He would walk among the people, and he would show off, and the people would gather around, and they would basically the people who wanted who loved to dunya, they would look and say, Oh, I wish I had what that person had, I wish I had what he had, they would be envious of what he has. But then there was another group of people. So les says that there were two groups of people, there were the people who loved this life. And they were the people who had actual knowledge. And the people who had knowledge used to say to him to use to advise him and say, Be grateful, be grateful for what you

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have. And you know what his answer was? Does anyone know what his answer was? He said, in M o t to Allah in menindee, that I got all of this from a knowledge in me.

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So what he's done now, is this this gift, these gifts that Allah gave him, he took credit for it. And he said, it's because of me. It's because of my knowledge because I'm just awesome, right?

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Now, Allah tells us what happens to him. Allah says that him that he will him and his home was swallowed by the earth. He was destroyed. And what we learned from this is that this man had something that these people wanted that many of us want, which is what wealth, he had so much wealth, but my question to you is, was it good for him? Or was it bad for him?

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Why was it bad for him?

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Because it made him arrogant, and it made him ungrateful and it brought him away from Allah. This is an example of asset and to him bushi. And well, who was Sheldon lakum. It may be that you love something, and it's bad for you. Because everyone, most people love wealth, right? Most people want wealth, right. But it may be in this case, in his case, it was actually bad for him because it took him away from a law. Fair enough. Now looking at another story, and sort of said Kath, we have actually three different stories and Sudafed cat, of all things that seem bad things that seem bad actually involving loss, right?

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involving loss, or rather two of them at least. Now, let's take the example of of damaging the ships damaging the boats, it looks like something harmful, right? Something that I don't want, who wants their property to be damaged? But what did it turn out to be?

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As we're told in the in the area that it turns out to be that because these boats were damaged, they were actually the king wasn't going to take the boats and these people were then able to keep the boats. But this is something that when when it happens to you if you know if you you wake up and you find that your car is you know, vandalized or something is damaged that you own, are you going to be happy about that? You're not going to be happy about that, but yet it actually was good for them. And so

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This teaches us the opposite example, which is that it may be that something that you don't love something that's difficult to actually good for you. And this is where our lives telling us he knows, and we do not know, Allah knows, and we do not know, when something happens to us, if we respond in the right way, it will always be good for us, even when it looks like it's something we don't want, when it looks like something when it's something that we hate, in fact, and it still becomes good for us. Now, I'm going to tell you this inshallah, and with this before we open for questions, there are different ways to respond to hardship.

00:35:36 --> 00:36:03

There are three different ways to respond to hardship. The first way is the response that we should actually never have. And that's the response of why me, How could you do this to me, and being angry at the decision of Allah. This is a person who doesn't see the wisdom in Allah subhanaw taala his plan. This is a reaction that as believers we should avoid, and it's actually an indication that,

00:36:05 --> 00:36:46

that Allah, it may be an indication that I actually have to repent, because it's an indication of displeasure of oma, the fact that I'm responding with anger against the decision of Allah. If I find myself responding in that way to hardship, then what it means is I have to, I have to rectify inside, I have to fix inside, because that's not the proper response. The second response is the response of patience, the response of sub, what does that look like? Can someone describe that to me? What does it look like to be patient? When when a hardship hits you? And you respond with patience? What does that like? Can someone explain? believing in a love but I want you to tell me

00:36:46 --> 00:36:52

what it's going to be like, how are you going to act? when when when you're in a hardship and you're responding with patience?

00:36:54 --> 00:36:55

Say that again.

00:36:57 --> 00:37:09

being thankful, okay, you're actually didn't even higher up. We're not even there yet. Who were not there yet. Before that, what does it mean to be just patient? It means that I'm not complaining against Allah.

00:37:11 --> 00:37:30

It means that I am. I'm not complaining against the decision of Allah. I'm remaining patient, even if it hurts, even if it's painful, even if it's difficult, but I'm not saying yellow Why me? It's not fair. How could you do this to me? It's it's to refrain from complaint against a law. Does anybody know?

00:37:31 --> 00:37:35

what the difference is between complaining to align complaining against a law?

00:37:40 --> 00:37:57

What does it mean to complain against a law? This is the response that we shouldn't have yellow Why me? How could you do this to me? It's not fair. That's a complaint against a law. But you know what? There's a different kind of complaint. That's actually in sort of Yusef Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

00:37:58 --> 00:38:02

What does what does use of his father Alice lm say?

00:38:03 --> 00:38:05

What does he say when he loses use about a synonym?

00:38:07 --> 00:38:21

Besides Southern jimmied He says, He says what he says I only complain to Allah of my sadness. I only complain to Allah as school means complaint. So how is that different than saying Why me?

00:38:23 --> 00:38:26

How is that different than saying why me How could you do this to me?

00:38:32 --> 00:38:39

Don't you don't it's okay if you if you say the wrong answer, you don't have to be shy. Just Just say what you're thinking. How is that different?

00:38:41 --> 00:38:41


00:38:47 --> 00:38:53

You're not what happy with what happened to you? Okay. But then what does it mean to complain to Allah?

00:38:58 --> 00:39:00

Making a okay close Yes. Anyone else?

00:39:04 --> 00:39:10

complaining to Allah What does it mean making out What else? What does it mean to complain to Allah?

00:39:12 --> 00:39:13


00:39:16 --> 00:39:22

You're trusting Allah, they don't make things right. But I want it I want you to explain to me what the complaint part is.

00:39:28 --> 00:39:52

Okay, here Here is the very, very important difference. When I say yeah, a lot How could you do this to me? Yeah, Allah. This isn't fair. Yeah, Allah Why me? This is complaining against Allah and not being accepting of the decision of Allah. But if I say yeah, Allah This is hard helped me. That's complaining to Allah. That is what prophets did.

00:39:53 --> 00:39:59

Yeah, Allah This is hard helped me. Yeah, Allah and Nima, Hulu

00:40:00 --> 00:40:09

fantasy, anymore global fantasy. This is what New Holland Sallam said, he said, I'm overtaken, I'm defeated, defeated, so give me victory.

00:40:10 --> 00:40:24

They complained to Allah meaning that they asked for his help. They are complaining about what this is the key difference. When you complain against the law, you're complaining about Allah, when you're complaining to Allah, what are you complaining about?

00:40:28 --> 00:40:55

You're actually complaining about yourself. You're actually complaining about your own weakness. You're not complaining about Allah, you're complaining about me? You're saying, I this is hard for me, because I'm weak. So help me because this is what no, Holly slim is saying. He's saying, I am defeated, I am overtaken. He's not saying you did this to me. He's saying, I, I am I need your help. Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam after call if What did he say?

00:40:57 --> 00:40:58

What did he say?

00:40:59 --> 00:41:28

He said, I complained to you about my weakness, my inability. So the complaint is about me that I'm human, that I'm weak, and I need your help. That's different than complaining about Allah, that the complaint is you did this and you're not being fair. That's the distinct difference. And one is considered a very is a sin, that that will actually bring you farther away from a law. And one is actually something that will bring you closer to a law.

00:41:29 --> 00:41:38

When you complain to Allah and seek help from Allah, this actually brings you closer to him. When you complain against him, it actually takes you away.

00:41:40 --> 00:41:49

So the answer to this question, why can't I get what I want? Now, how would you answer that question? Why can't I get what I want?

00:41:51 --> 00:41:56

Because what I want may what, fill in the blank

00:41:58 --> 00:42:01

may not be good for me. So it may

00:42:03 --> 00:42:24

bring me away from Allah. Exactly. And it may be that what I don't want as Allah says asset and to crochet and it may be that you hate something will Hawa hydro knuckle. And it may be that the thing you didn't want to happen, the thing you didn't want to happen is actually what's best for you. Because why? because it brings you closer to Allah.

00:42:26 --> 00:42:54

And that's the answer to why can I get what I want is because sometimes I want things which are not good for me. Sometimes I want things that would take me away from Allah. And sometimes I hate things. I don't want things which in fact, are medicine for me that in fact bring me closer to Allah subhanaw taala according Callie Heather was stuck for a lonely welcome in Nova photo Rahim. subhanak Elohim eyeshadow en la ilaha illa and istockphoto tulelake. I will take questions now. Correct? Yes.

00:42:55 --> 00:42:59

Okay. Go ahead and raise your hand. I guess we don't have no cards. You can raise your hand.

00:43:02 --> 00:43:03


00:43:15 --> 00:43:16


00:43:17 --> 00:43:24

usually it usually takes one brave soul to start us off who's going to be the brave soul to start us off?

00:43:34 --> 00:43:35


00:43:39 --> 00:43:42

I think he needs you can speak and I can just repeat it if you don't have a mic.

00:43:52 --> 00:43:55

I think the idea that you have repeated

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resuscitation with the eye from suit Zoomer, could you give the context in which it was

00:44:06 --> 00:44:07

so the area that you're referring to

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the first day that was that was recited during the introduction. Konya. evadne, leadin us rafaela and foster him letter cannot human Rahmatullah.

00:44:19 --> 00:44:38

So the idea is addressing again, the the the slave of Allah subhanaw taala. And Allah is saying, All my slave say all my slave, so he's addressing the profits of the itis lm to address the slaves of Allah, who have wronged their own selves. And we said that what is the what is the the most?

00:44:40 --> 00:44:43

What's the most intense way that we can wronged ourselves?

00:44:46 --> 00:44:47


00:44:48 --> 00:44:56

by committing sins, that that's, that's the worst way that we can wrong ourselves. So he is addressing the sinner, essentially, but he's referring to them as

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his slave. So he

00:45:00 --> 00:45:20

This teaches us right away that even the slave of Allah can be a sinner, right? Even the slave of Allah can be a sinner. And then he says, What letter cannot human Rahmatullah do not despair? In the mercy of Allah do not despair of the mercy of Allah? Because in the lie that Allah forgives all sins

00:45:22 --> 00:45:24

once Oh, God do it again.

00:45:26 --> 00:45:28

Sorry. Really?

00:45:29 --> 00:45:30

Um, what?

00:45:34 --> 00:45:45

One thing that one thing that you one thing that we need to realize is that shaitan has a lot of tools, like he's got a big toolbox.

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And one of his favorite tools is despair,

00:45:51 --> 00:46:07

is to make us lose hope is to make us just give up. And if you actually look back at the story, and you see what did Adam do and what did shaitan do, you'll find that shaitan what is Sharon's mistake?

00:46:10 --> 00:46:14

not obeying the law right but why what did he refuse to do?

00:46:16 --> 00:46:19

refuse to make such that to bow right. Okay.

00:46:21 --> 00:46:38

Let me ask you a question. If If you miss in all of your life, say you live 60 years 70 years 80 years if you miss just one federal prayer one federal prayer how many such does Did you miss?

00:46:42 --> 00:46:46

For for such this, okay.

00:46:47 --> 00:46:48

Can you imagine

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if every single person who missed even one Salah would not be allowed into Jenna, who would be in Jenna

00:46:59 --> 00:47:00

Do you understand my point?

00:47:02 --> 00:47:11

So then the question is he refused to make one says that. If I miss one prayer in my entire life, I've already refused for such this.

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But yet, Allah still allows me to energen now I still have an opportunity a chance. Why?

00:47:23 --> 00:47:44

Why you told me that his mistake is that he just he didn't bow Right. Which is which? Which is true. he disobeyed Allah. He didn't bow but but I'm telling you that what about me? What about you? Are we told to bow a certain number of times a day for a certain number of years? And have we? What if we missed one Salah?

00:47:45 --> 00:47:49

Does that mean none of us can go into Jenna. So what is it?

00:47:51 --> 00:47:54

repentance. So now tell me about what he did.

00:47:55 --> 00:48:10

He didn't repent. Not only did he disobey Allah, but after disobeying Allah. He continued to rebel against Allah, and he refused to repent. He refused to humble himself and repent, as Adam did.

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So what we, the point here is that it isn't, it isn't just about, it isn't just about the sin itself. But it's about what happens after and what he believes what she thought once and that's why he uses this tool is that he wants you to give up hope. And when you commit a sin, He also wants you to despair as he despaired, to despair as he despaired, and to just give up and not to try to repent, because if you lose hope, then it just makes you give up. No more motivation. That's why it's one of his his most beloved tools, is the tool of despair. In this area, Allah is telling us Do not despair, those who have wronged themselves, do not despair. That Allah subhanaw taala forgives

00:49:04 --> 00:49:09

all sins. The greatest weapon against shaitan is actually hope.

00:49:14 --> 00:49:16

Any other questions? Yes.

00:49:19 --> 00:49:37

You're right, you caught that. Okay. So, so far, we only talked about two right? There were two ways we said there were three ways to hock there are three ways to respond. This is a really intense microphone like you can't even touch it.

00:49:41 --> 00:49:58

Okay, there are three ways to respond to hardship. Right? We talked about two what were they? One was the complaint against the law. That's a sin and we need to repent for that and fix ourselves. Number two was patience and patience, we said was to refrain from complaining against Allah

00:50:00 --> 00:50:21

But there is complaining to Allah, which brings us closer to him. This is saying yes, Allah helped me write that the complaint is against me and my inability not against the law. Makes sense. But then there was a third response I didn't get to. And that is an even higher response than patience. Does anyone know what it is?

00:50:24 --> 00:50:25

Can anyone guess?

00:50:26 --> 00:50:50

Yeah, you're really good, Mashallah. Reba means contentment and gratitude. That's the level where not only are you patient in the hardship, but you're actually content, you actually are saying, you're actually pleased with the decision of Allah. You're not just bracing yourself from complaining, but you're actually content and grateful.

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Now, you might ask the question of how can I possibly be content and grateful when I'm going through a hardship? It just seems like a contradiction, right? Like how how, how would I possibly be

00:51:04 --> 00:51:09

essentially happy or content? When I'm going through this?

00:51:10 --> 00:51:13

To answer that question, give you an at an analogy.

00:51:17 --> 00:51:31

You know, if you take if you take a baby, to get a shot, now that shot could have very, very important medicine. In fact, that baby might even have cancer, and the shot has the medication has the medicine for the answer.

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But how does the baby respond to the shot?

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By crying? How does the baby feel about the doctor?

00:51:40 --> 00:51:53

angry, angry? If you've ever seen a child getting a shot? They're not happy. And they're very angry? Why are they angry? And why are they unhappy? Simple. Why?

00:51:56 --> 00:52:41

Exactly because they're in pain, because that all they see is I am in pain. Right? So they look at this situation, and all they see is a needle, all I see is a needle, that child has no concept of medicine, right? That child has no concept of cure, you can't explain to the child No, actually, we're curing you. child doesn't understand doesn't have the capacity to understand it. Only thing the child understands is you just caused me pain. And you just you just struck me with a needle. And that's all the child understands. That is like a person who can't see beyond the fact that they didn't get what they wanted, or that they're going to a hardship that's causing them pain. Some

00:52:41 --> 00:53:00

people spiritual understanding is like that baby is like that child, that when they go through some hardship in life, even if it's medicine, they don't see the medicine, they don't see how this hardship is actually curing them. Instead, they see it's causing me pain. That's all I see. And I'm angry.

00:53:01 --> 00:53:22

So the person is responding. How could you do this to me just like the child is, how could How could the doctor do this, to me doesn't understand beyond that. Some people are like that in their understanding of the hardships that they go through in life, they don't see the medicine, they don't see how it's good for them, only thing they see is that they're in pain, and that they didn't get what they wanted.

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Now, you can also now look at a 10 year old when a 10 year old goes and you take that 10 year old and you give them a shot.

00:53:34 --> 00:53:47

Now with a 10 year old, you could kind of explain it to them, right? You can tell them I know this is gonna hurt. But this is medicine. This is to help you to cure you to make you feel better. Now when you give a 10 year old a shot.

00:53:49 --> 00:54:07

They're not exactly doing cartwheels. And they're not exactly really happy with the doctor but, but they're not screaming and shouting either. Makes sense. So this can be likened to sub to patients, because they're not complaining. But inside, you know what, maybe they're not so happy.

00:54:09 --> 00:54:40

Makes sense. This can be likened to patients. Why? Because they're, they're keeping themselves from being angry. They're keeping themselves from complaining, but inside, they're still agitation. There can still be agitation inside, but you're controlling yourself. That's patience, that still suck. And the prophet SAW Selim said, Whoever struggles to have some, whoever struggles to be patient alone will give them patience. So our job is to struggle to struggle to be patient. And then Allah gives us patience.

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What is the reward of patients by the way? So we already said that complaint is a sin and it's punishable. But what about patients? What's the reward of patience?

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Does anyone know?

00:54:57 --> 00:54:59

Well, there's a hadith that says that

00:55:00 --> 00:55:14

There is no hardship that befalls a believer, whether it's pain, sadness, anxiety, depression, anything like that even the prick of a thorn, except that it does what?

00:55:15 --> 00:55:18

It removes sins, like leaves falling from a tree.

00:55:20 --> 00:55:41

So the the reward of patience is actually that your sins are removed, that you're purified. The uma has a lot of levena. Mmm, a lot purifies the believers through hardship, but only when they respond properly. Make sense. So you respond with patience, the reward is that it actually purifies you of your sense.

00:55:42 --> 00:55:53

But now, let's go a step further. Right? Now we're talking about another level. Now take an adult, now the adult goes to the doctor and gets a shot.

00:55:54 --> 00:56:02

And this shot is cancer medication. What is the response of the adult to the doctor?

00:56:04 --> 00:56:35

The response of the adults? Yes party, that might be one thing. oranges. Thank you, doctor, right? Like that, that that person, the adult shakes the hand of the doctor and says thank you. That's it, that's a different type of response. Now did the did the adult feel the prick of the needle? Yes, but, but the adults focus is on the cure, not on the pain.

00:56:36 --> 00:56:55

It's on the fact that this is curing me that this is strengthening me. And because of that focus, the adult is actually able to be grateful and content, and even happy with the doctor. That's a different level, that's a higher level. And that's called an adult. That's called contentment.

00:56:57 --> 00:57:32

A person can only have that type of response when they're when they see the situation for what it is. Because the adult knows and understands fully that this is medicine. And because the focus of the adult is on the medicine, not on the needle, not on the pain, the adults can have that response, that, that that response of contentment, and, and and, and actually being at peace with the decision of Allah, because it's curing me. And the focus is not on the pain, the focus is on the cure.

00:57:34 --> 00:57:42

Now, the the reward of that is not only that the person is purified of their sins, but that person is elevated in stations with

00:57:44 --> 00:57:54

that person is elevated in stations with a lot because of that response. So you're not only purified, but it's a higher level, you actually become higher with Allah.

00:57:56 --> 00:58:14

There's, there's such a powerful Hadith that says that there are some people who Allah had intended to have a specific station specific high station. And he knew that those people could not reach that station through their deeds alone. And so he gave them hardship.

00:58:16 --> 00:58:32

so that they could reach that station, because he wants them at that high station. But he knows that they couldn't do it just through their deeds, because to get there through deeds would be something more beyond what they could do. So he gives them a shortcut. And that shortcut is through hardship.

00:58:36 --> 00:58:37

Any other questions?

00:58:58 --> 00:59:28

I can repeat the question. Is it okay not to give up and try hard on what you actually want to achieve? I mean, like it's a law who gives success to people who actually work hard, right? So is it okay to work hard for what you want? Okay, great question. So we've been talking today about why can't I get what I want, right? But then there's this question of, well, what if I didn't get what I want? Can I just keep on trying to get what I want over and over?

00:59:30 --> 00:59:33

Of course, of course, you can do that. And in fact,

00:59:34 --> 00:59:39

everything that I'm talking about right now, we have to we have to put it into context that

00:59:42 --> 00:59:59

inside inside, we need to be we need to have trust in Allah that whatever Allah brings to us, is we accept it. And not only accept it, but try to be pleased with it. All right, agreed. Now what I do externally with my actions, that's step

01:00:00 --> 01:00:15

a different thing. What I've been talking about so far is about the state of the heart. I've been talking about the internal state how I am inside to whatever Allah brings me. But if you want to talk about what we're doing outside, I will give you the example of hedge.

01:00:16 --> 01:00:17

Alright, because hedge fund was

01:00:19 --> 01:00:39

in the middle of a desert, right? middle of a desert, she's with her baby. There's no water. There's nobody around. Now I have to ask you in the inside of herself, his head. Does it have to look good? Does hedgehog have trust in Allah? Yes or no? Yes, you guys got 100 on that test?

01:00:40 --> 01:00:43

That means you got an A plus, anyway.

01:00:44 --> 01:01:18

Like no reaction. Okay, *. She, she she was in complete trust, right? She had complete trust in Allah subhanaw taala. But what did she do? What did she do? Did she sit down and wait for water? Did she sit down and wait to be saved? She did some action. Right? She got up and she did some action. And she did something that actually was very difficult. She ran between the hills, right in Safa and Marwa as you know, but there's something important that comes to your question.

01:01:19 --> 01:01:36

When she goes to suffer and she looks and she doesn't find anything, she What does she do? She runs to Ottawa, right? Then she goes tomorrow and she looks she doesn't find anything. At that point. She's already tried so far. And she's already tried Motorola. So what would we do at that point?

01:01:38 --> 01:01:46

We already tried something and didn't work. You try something else. It didn't work. What do you what do we typically do at that point? Give up, right.

01:01:48 --> 01:01:55

But she didn't give up. And she went back and actually tried doing the same thing she already tried again.

01:01:56 --> 01:02:20

She didn't give up. She goes back to suffer. And she looks around and still doesn't find anything. So now she's tried twice suffer and one smartwatch. Now, what would we typically do? Give up? Does she but she doesn't give up. And she runs back. I mean, I want to just point out how many people have actually walked her footsteps? Anyone?

01:02:21 --> 01:02:24

so few people? Is it easier? Is it hard?

01:02:25 --> 01:02:33

It's hard. And we got marble floors. And like, covered, you know what I mean? Like it's like,

01:02:34 --> 01:03:12

but it's still hard. She's doing it in the middle of a desert. And she's actually not walking. She's running. So she's actually not just doing something. She's doing something very difficult. And she continues to do it. And she continues to try and she doesn't give up. Right? So she's seen suffer twice. And now she goes back to model again. And she looks and again she finds nothing. She still doesn't give up. She still doesn't give up. There is such a powerful lesson so many lessons from her story. In fact, her story is so powerful that every single one of us have to walk in her footsteps when we make hydromorphone.

01:03:13 --> 01:04:01

Say, say means to strive, she's striving. But what's so important and I want to point this out is that sometimes we give up too easily. Right? We do give up too easily. You try something, it didn't work you give up. Okay, if you're really persistent, you might try it twice. And it didn't work. So you give up. You know what I mean? But seven times, she ran between Safa and Marwa seven times she tried, and what's also important, she's actually trying the same thing. But she's not giving up. She's doing everything that she can possibly do in her power. But she's not giving up but she's, but she is striving and that is the balance that we have to have. Is that inside? Yes. We trust the law.

01:04:01 --> 01:04:29

And the result comes from Allah. And we and we actually trust that Allah will bring us best, whatever the result is what's best, but externally, we are doing our utmost best. Externally, we are striving externally, we are not only striving but striving to have excellence in what we're doing. And we are giving it everything we have. But the result is from Allah. And we and we have full faith that whatever that result is, it will be what's best.

01:04:31 --> 01:04:32

answer your question.

01:04:37 --> 01:04:40

Do you have a question? Are you just holding the mic? Okay.

01:04:45 --> 01:04:45

Anyone else?

01:05:04 --> 01:05:04


01:05:20 --> 01:05:30

yes, in some books, what other Adam did was regarded as a sin. But in your lecture you have said slip.

01:05:31 --> 01:05:35

Could you extend it further? Well, the reason I say slip

01:05:37 --> 01:05:49

is because that's literally what what the word isn't in the quarter end, as a law home, as a long ship on. So as a law home literally means he made them slip.

01:05:50 --> 01:05:51

He made them slip.

01:05:52 --> 01:05:53

So that's the word I'm going to use.

01:05:55 --> 01:06:03

What level of slip that's it's with a law. But that's what Allah says that he made that the shaitaan made Adam and how wet slip?

01:06:04 --> 01:06:16

We know that. We know that he was told to stay from stay away from the tree day from the tree. So therefore, it was a slip. One thing I want to point out though, this is also super important.

01:06:17 --> 01:06:46

When Adam and his son and after he slipped and ate from the tree, and we said what was his response? robina vadhana and fusina were in lentil Filipina without him none and akuna Minal ha sitting right? This is there's so many lessons in the statement, by the way. He says, Our Lord, we have wronged our own selves. Let's just pause there for a second. What do we usually do when something when we when something goes wrong?

01:06:47 --> 01:06:49

When something goes wrong, who's the

01:06:50 --> 01:06:53

wake? Where do we usually point the blame?

01:06:55 --> 01:07:15

Outside us or inside us? Outside us, right? It's always someone else's fault. It's someone else's fault. You know, when your kids and you're fighting with your siblings, and then you get in trouble. And what do you say? Do you say, Oh, Mother, I have wronged myself, and I was wrong. And I hit first.

01:07:16 --> 01:07:33

No, you don't do that. You do what? He started it. Or she did it? Or it was him or right. The blame is always someone else. This is so powerful, because look at Adam nslm he's not even trying to blame shipe on.

01:07:35 --> 01:07:42

You feel me like he's not even trying to blame shaitan even though Allah says as a llama shape on that shape on made them slip.

01:07:43 --> 01:07:50

But he doesn't even try to blame chiffon. He doesn't even bring shaitan into the equation. He says we wronged our own selves.

01:07:52 --> 01:08:30

We wronged our own souls, he takes full responsibility for it. That's a lesson for us. That's a lesson for us that this is how we have to be this is character. This is good character, that when we make a mistake, we don't look to blame outside of us. We don't look to blame others we look to take responsibility. Even in a case like his where it is it is shaitan who made them slip. But he says we have wronged our own selves. He takes responsibility for it. He humbles himself. And then he says what in South Carolina, what I'm not an akuna, Navajo serene, and if you don't forgive us and have mercy on us, we will be among the losers.

01:08:32 --> 01:08:53

So this is this is the formula for success, the formula for repentance, take responsibility, humble yourself, and then seek forgiveness. But don't try to you know, put the blame on someone else because then you're never gonna you're never gonna, you're never going to grow inside never going to improve if you're putting the blame on someone else.

01:08:57 --> 01:08:59

All right, any last questions?

01:09:03 --> 01:09:06

You have a question? Yes. Do you have okay.

01:09:12 --> 01:09:14

I wanted to ask

01:09:15 --> 01:09:24

about our patients. Yeah. Okay. When we face hardship, and we go through hard times, right. And we get hurt. Like,

01:09:25 --> 01:09:42

as human beings, you know, nationally, we get kind of depressed you get, you know, sad. No, a lot of people just cry breakdown. I mean, is that a sign of not being patient? I mean, if I'm patient does that mean I'm not gonna cry and we're gonna get sad. I mean,

01:09:44 --> 01:09:49

thanks for asking that question because I, that's an important point that I didn't cover.

01:09:51 --> 01:09:58

So patients as we defined it, was refraining from complaining against a law right?

01:10:00 --> 01:10:02

But going back to complaining to Allah

01:10:03 --> 01:10:07

complaining to Allah Who did we talk about an example?

01:10:08 --> 01:10:09

prophet who?

01:10:13 --> 01:10:14


01:10:15 --> 01:10:16

Yeah, cool, right?

01:10:21 --> 01:10:25

What did he do? He cried until What happened?

01:10:29 --> 01:10:31

He cried until he went blind.

01:10:33 --> 01:10:37

But at the same time, he's also has sovereign Jimmy.

01:10:38 --> 01:10:58

So you understand there's no contradiction. It he, he felt he had And not only that, so we expand that we have all three things in the suta we have sovereign Jimmy, right that he had beautiful patience. At the same time he cried so much he went blind. And at the same time, he says, I only complain of my sadness to you. So we know we had sadness.

01:11:00 --> 01:11:21

What that as a big picture teaches us is that suffering doesn't mean not feeling sadness. suburb doesn't mean not crying. Southern means that I'm not complaining against the decision of a law. Even if I feel sadness, and even if I'm crying, but I am, I am asking Allah subhanaw taala to help me I'm not complaining against him.

01:11:23 --> 01:11:24

The prophets I send them cried

01:11:25 --> 01:11:52

the prophets I sent him when he lost people that he loved, he cried. And even when he when he was asked, What is this quota so the law and he said it's mercy that Allah puts in the hearts of the believers that's how he defined Christ that's how he defined it. That this is mercy so for for us to think that it's a contradiction to some is incorrect because that would mean that the prophets peace be upon them didn't have something which obviously we know they were the example of some

01:11:59 --> 01:12:02

you know one other thing I want to point out on that subject

01:12:04 --> 01:12:27

one of the doors you know the profits I sell a nice to make certain drawers regularly every day, right. One of the drawers of the profits I sell them you know what it was? He asked a lot for protection against iron lettered man he said he asked for protection from many things. And one of them was in an eye that doesn't shed tears.

01:12:28 --> 01:12:30

That's something he's actually asking protection from.

01:12:35 --> 01:12:36

Other questions?

01:12:42 --> 01:12:57

Okay, so panic Hello, mayhem Dhaka Chateau de la land istockphoto at Google as well as in an incentive if you host lol Edina mn o Amita solly hottie with also will help you with also the sub salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

01:13:00 --> 01:13:30

We have learned a great deal and are very much in depth to sister Yes, me who have provided us with a lot of important information about the topic. Why can't I get what I want? Thank you, sister. Yes, mean? We are hopefully looking forward to hear from you tomorrow in the message lecture series. And I invite all the youth who are present here to come and join us on Friday evening at 8:45pm for SR Yasmin's lecture on hoppin Allah. Thank you

Why Can’t I Get What I Want by Yasmin Mogahed

Sister’s Session 2016

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