Taimiyyah Zubair – Indeed I am Near – Day 10 – Prayers for one’s children

Taimiyyah Zubair
AI: Summary © The speakers stress the importance of finding one's own success in learning to be a holy person and finding one's own success in learning to be a holy person, emphasizing the need for people to act as a holy person and not just be cool with their appearance. The importance of having two qualities for good leaders is emphasized, along with the need for parents to teach children to pray and eat properly. The segment also touches on shaping children to protect them from evil behavior and the importance of parents showing mercy to their children. The speakers offer a range of options for creating a finished project, emphasizing the importance of making a project a success.
AI: Transcript ©
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long, long, long

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Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh who

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are the bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim Bismillah Al Rahman Al Rahim wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah al Karim rubbish roughly Saudi way a silly Emery wa Hello Dr. Tommy Lee Sani of PA who only along medical B was sadly Sani was sleuths of hematology. Armenia Rupal aren't Amin.

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Allah subhanaw taala tells us in the Quran when Lavina Jaco Luna Robina Habibollah mean as wodgina What do RIA Tina Kurata are you what you're living with the Cana EMA and those who say, our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring, comfort to our eyes, and make us any example a leader for those who are righteous? This Dora is the draw of riba to Rockman. The worshipers of a Rockman of the one who is most Merciful. And these worshippers of Allah, Allah subhanaw taala praises the way that they walk, the way that they interact with people, the way that they talk and hear their doors are mentioned. What is it that they call upon Allah subhanaw taala for so they call upon

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Allah, for what? For their spouses for their children, that oh Allah grant us through them, coolness of the eyes and make us a leader of those who are righteous. The rhythm I say that this is this dura includes people who are married people who are not married people who have children, and also people who do not have children. Because Robina habla and I mean, as well Gina, that our Lord grant has coolness of the eyes from our spouses. This is for those who are married, whether Riyadh Tina, and also from our children, this is for those who have children. What your analogy mattina emammal and make us an example for those who are righteous. This includes every believer, whether or not they're

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married and whether or not they have children, that we should all be asking Allah subhanaw taala that make us an example. A leader of those people who are righteous. Allah subhanaw taala says regarding these people, that Allah Iike you rezone a word, Fatah be mal Suburu when you look poner fie her to hear tone was Salama that those will be awarded the chamber for what they patiently endured, and they will be received there in with the greetings and words of peace. Carlina fie her husband that was the Koran one more karma, they will abide there in eternally, what an excellent place of residence and a permanent abode, meaning paradise. We learned in the Quran that the

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prophets of Allah made their offer their children, they made Dora to have children and they also made Dora for the righteousness of their children. Ibraheem Alehissalaam Medora Rob be Hubballi meno Salah hain, oh my Lord, grant me a child from those who are righteous, meaning grant me a righteous child. We learn that

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that into to have the righteous they say what a slave feed was literally feed the reality that oh my lord reform for me my offspring, meaning make my children righteous, we learn about the courier alayhis salam for heavily Mila donco Walia. Uri Sunni wire is from an earlier Cold War, John hoorah biloba here, he made her out that Oh my Lord, grant me it really from yourself, meaning an heir, who will inherit from me and from the family of your code and make this air of mine, someone who is pleasing to you. So he was asking for a child, Ibrahim or the his Alehissalaam Madara or BGR name Okay, masala, tea woman theory Yeti, or have been our Taco Bell Dora, that Oh my Lord, make me

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someone who establishes prayer and among my children also make make them such that they establish Salah. So it is the way of the prophets it is the way of those who believe that they pray to Allah subhanaw product that yeah, Allah grant us children grant us righteous children and the children that we

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Have your Allah make them righteous, make them such that they establish Salah make them such that they do Islam they do good things, we learn that when a person makes dua for, for having children or for the health and the well being of their children, they should also ask Allah subhanaw taala to make their children righteous, because it is not enough that we that because it is not correct that we think that we can teach piety to our children, and we can make them righteous, righteousness is not in our hand, it is not in our control, we can do our best to teach them the Quran to teach them good manners. But at the end of the day, they will only do what they choose to do. And what Allah

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subhanaw taala gives them tofield to do receive, for example, knew how to his salaam know Haile Salam, he worked for 950 years, calling people to the worship of Allah. And we can only imagine that if he worked so hard to call his nation to the worship of Allah, He would have worked even harder to teach his children because a person begins with those who are closest to them. And this has been the way of the prophets, the prophets and Allahu alayhi wa sallam was also taught that what ended our Sheila tackle Accra been that warn your closest family. So he began by inviting them. So no, honey is Salam. He worked so hard for so long calling people to the worship of Allah. But what happened?

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His own Son did not believe his own son was of those who disbelieved, and he drowned in the flood. So we should never think that oh, my children love me. They are very good to me. And, you know, I have taught them this. I have sent them to Islamic school, or, you know, me and my husband, both of us, you know, our families are good. We are on the dean, so we don't have to worry about it. No, you must always be worried about the dean of your children and ask Allah subhanaw taala to guide them. In fact, this is something that you should be concerned about for yourself also. We learned that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would often say, yarmulke liberal Kulu submit Kirby Allah

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Denecke that oh Turner of the hearts, make my heart firm upon your religion. So Anessa de la Horne, who said that I asked him that he also the love, we believe in you and what you have come with any we believe, so you still fear for us? And you made this dua and you teach us to make this door you still fear for us. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said yes, indeed the hearts are between the two fingers of Allah's fingers. And He changes them as He wills, any, the state of the heart does not remain the same. It can change over time. So be concerned for your own deed, and for the deen of your children. And don't just rely on your efforts, along with efforts there must also

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be Dora. And sometimes, you know, people tend to make dua only when they face some kind of hardship from their children, that for example, their children are being very rebellious. They're showing very bad manners. They're not really doing their work. They're not taking life seriously, and things like that. So then parents begin to make dua for their children. We should be making their offer our children even before we have children,

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even before we have children, I remember

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someone once mentioned to me that they asked their teacher that why should I make the doll or a big ol Nemo P masala tea woman to reality, when I am not even married when I do not even have children? That why should I make Dora that oh Allah make me someone who establishes prayer and also made my children, those who established prayer. He said, Why should I make this dua when I don't even have children? He said, No, you should still make this doll because when you do have children in sha Allah, then you want that they should establish Salah Andorra itself is worship. So don't wait for some hardship. Don't wait to get married. Don't wait to have children in order to make dua for them.

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Make dua anyway, that your Allah make my children righteous. So perhaps as you're listening to today's lecture, you might think that I don't have children. This does not apply to me. No, it does apply to you. And like I mentioned earlier, that what your Allah limiter Tina Imam, this is something that includes all the believers, those who are married those who are not those who have children and those who do not have now in this Dora Robina habla

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I mean as well as you know how to react in accord with the Aryan what your ultimate Tokina Imam we see that there a battle Rockman ask Allah subhanaw taala for a gift Robina habla Ana Heba is a gift, and what gift? Are they asking for? That he or Allah, gift us with the coolness of the eyes, through our spouses and our children, through our spouses, Inshallah, tomorrow's talk is going to be about doors for spouses, the coolness of the eyes through children. What does this mean? You see color to Aryan. First of all, the RIA includes male and female children, it includes young and older children, it doesn't matter how old or young your child is, you can still make this doll for them.

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And even if they're not born, yet, you can still make this dog for them. And you're asking for color to Aryan a little Are you literally is the coolness of the

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coolness of the eyes and the cinema say that this means three things. First of all, this means

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the coolness of the eyes is when the tears cool off, okay? When you're crying out of grief out of worry, out of sometimes frustration and helplessness, your eyes because because you have been crying, they're hot, right? And when you stop crying, they tend to cool off, right? So when is it that you stop crying, when you have some reason to be happy about or something comforts you. So you're asking Allah subhanaw taala to grant you happiness and joy through your children.

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happiness and joy by having children happiness and joy by having children who are righteous, and happiness and joy by seeing your children doing good things. This is this is the coolness of the eye. Because for for a mother for a father to see their child suffering, or even religiously, spiritually, this is extremely painful, very, very painful. Secondly, the intimacy that this coldness of the eye is through sleep. Because

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when a person is not able to sleep for a very long time, then the eyes are hot. And when finally you're able to close your eyes and sleep, then your eyes cool off. And why is it that a person is not able to sleep for a very long time because of worry, because of concern. And so often it happens that mothers fathers are awake all night long, for hours in the night? Why? Worrying about their child, about their daughter about their son? Or sometimes people are awake at night worrying in their sadness that will I ever have a child but What the are you that ya Allah grant me that rest, that that comfort, that, that feeling that I have a child I have a good child, I have a righteous

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child. And thirdly, Paulo to argue is happiness. They say that this is river so Hublin I mean as wodgina with the reality now Kurata Aryan what your honor Lynmouth Akina Eema and even our best Rhodiola Mourinho he explained, that you're asking Allah for children, who are obedient to Allah, and this way, they will be a means of joy and coolness for you in this world and in the hereafter. Because when someone sees their child committing sin, disobeying Allah, committing crimes, then this is something incredibly painful for them. So when a person has children who are righteous, obedient to Allah, then this is a means of joy for them in the world, and in the hereafter. Here, coolness of

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the eye does not mean that make them good looking. Subhanallah this is a concern that many people have that I want a child who is very cute, very good looking, who has green eyes and fair skin or, you know, such hair, or, you know, we this is what our concern is about because we have to take cute photos and we have to share them on the internet and everything has to look cool and nice. We're so obsessed with the physical appearance and that is not what is meant over here. It came I said this is not referring to Herson and Jamal. This is not referring to outward beauty. Rather this is referring to obedience to Allah subhanaw taala because even if your child is, you know, very good

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looking. For example, if your daughter is, you know, tall, beautiful, lovely hair

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In beautiful skin, excellent, you know, in her appearance, in her choice of clothes in her choice of makeup, everything, but if she refuses to praise Allah, how painful is that, then the physical beauty will not bring you comfort, what will bring you comfort is that she is praying Salah. So this is what color to our units and Hubble and I mean as well as you know with the react in accord with the Aryan Ibn gerade said that this is that you are asking Allah for spouses and children who are good worshipers to Allah, and who do not commit sins and crimes. Because when when when a child commits sins, then what happens? This is something that affects the family. Also, this is something

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that affects the parents also, how, for instance, if your child wants to listen to loud music, and you know, they make a big fuss about it, or they're now older, and they're in their room, and they're playing very loud music, is that not going to affect you, of course, it's going to affect you. So, sins affect the sins of one person, affect the people who are around them. And at the end of the day, any father or mother is responsible, you know, answerable for their children. So you're asking Allah to protect your children from committing sin so that you don't fall into the same sins and you are not affected by them. You You don't become complacent towards disobedience to Allah

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subhanaw taala what you're aligning with the Pina Eema you're asking Allah that oh Allah make us a leader of the righteous. And here, what this means is that you're asking Allah to make those people who are under you,

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fearful of Allah,

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because every person has, you know, some some kind of authority, some kind of leadership. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Kulu Kumar, in Wakulla, comas Odin or Nora, Yeti, each one of you was a shepherd and each one of you will be asked about his flock. So for example, a father is the shepherd of his household, a mother is also the shepherds of her household, right. So you as parents are answerable for your children. Likewise, in a workplace, in a school, in any organization, you know, there is some kind of hierarchy. So the people who are under you who are working under you, the people whom you are responsible to guide to lead, to instruct to teach,

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you're praying for them that he or Allah make them righteous? Would your honor Lynmouth the fina Imam, make them righteous, don't make us a righteous off of those who are sinful and all of us are sinful, but those who are defiantly disobedient, who don't care about the limits that Allah subhanaw taala has set and what you are learning with Athena Imam, what this really means is that you're asking Allah to make you righteous, because only a righteous person can lead those who are righteous. Any a righteous person is an example. For those who are righteous. A person cannot expect that they are, you know, disobeying Allah, and their children become happy little Quran, any your

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children will emulate you, they will, they will follow you. And so often it happens that people have different standards for themselves and different standards for their children. And then they complain that my children don't listen, my children don't do this. They don't do that. Well, the first question is, are you doing it yourself? Sometimes people are complaining about their, you know, people that they work with people that they are responsible for, that they don't do their work, they don't come on time and things like that. The first question is, Are you are you doing your work yourself? So, you're praying to Allah, Allah Lynmouth Akina Imam, that he or Allah, you

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make me righteous, so that I can lead the righteous. And we learned in the Quran that Allah subhanaw taala says what you are now an imitator Do not be a marina that we made them leaders who would command according to our instruction, any they would be able to lead others according to the Command of Allah. Whoa Hanaa illenium fellow HighRock and we inspire to them the doing of good deeds, what you call masala, and establishing salah what Eater is the car giving the cow a cannula now Aberdeen and they were worshippers to us. So this means that

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only when a person has such qualities, right? Doing good things praying salah, giving the cat worshiping Allah, then they can be a good leader, a leader of those who are righteous.

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And what you're aligning with the Kena EMA AMA,

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any, make us a good example. And this requires to two qualities you need in order to be a good example a good leader for those who are under you, whether it is your children, or it is, you know, your students or people who work under you. In any capacity. You need two qualities. What are these two qualities? Allah subhanaw taala tells us what your own I mean whom are inmitten? Yeah, don't be a marina lemma Sadhguru what cannot be it? No, you have to know that they they were leaders when when they were patient, and they used to believe in our verses with conviction. So Sobor antiochene These two qualities are essential that a person is patient and the person is always losing their

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cool with their children, how can they lead them in piety, their children will not want to listen to them, they will become extremely rebellious. And your pain, conviction the opinion who in Allah in the hereafter in the in the words of ALLAH, the deen of Allah the promises of Allah, because then you have hope, then you are consistent. And when you are consistent, then the people who are under you, they will also be consistent. So what you're allowing in my tenure Do not be a marina lemma sabato cannot be a attina European. So as a parent, hold on to these two qualities, observed suburb and also have your clean the more convinced you are of the religion of Allah, the more convinced

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your children will be any begin with yourself. And we learn over here that the people who make such Dora's Allah subhanaw taala will grant them the highest home in Jana Lofa and woodfire is any the highest room in a building? So think of a penthouse, any golfer? So Hola, can you design a whole Fatah and they will be granted beautiful homes in Paradise and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has described those organs as you know, such that you can see the inside from the outside, outside from the inside. And when he was asked, Who are they for? He said that there are four people who feed others who spread the salaam who pray in the night while the people are sleeping, and

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another nourish and who fast. So in Ramadan, all of these good deeds are combined for the believer. So they will get the word Fatima Sadhguru because they were patient, and this is a quality that is essential in parents that they must have supper with their children, somewhere in what suburb first of all, in doing good things yourself. Because it's it becomes very hard to pray to recite the Quran to make vicar you know, to to spend in South Africa, when your children are always around you, or when they always have needs that you need to attend to. So southern means that while you are taking care of your children, you don't neglect yourself, you must make time for your Salah for your Ibadah

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to to spend in the way of Allah, any good doing good things requires suburb. And then secondly, some it also includes staying away from sins. Any sometimes it's so tempting for the sake of your own children even to allow something or or or to do something that is displeasing to Allah subhanaw taala but somewhere over there. And sub Thirdly is also in, in dealing with hardships. And who said that being a parent is easy. It is incredibly hard, very, very difficult. And the difficulty only increases with time. Any a mother thinks that pregnancy is the hardest stage it is not. It really is not the real difficulty begins once the child is born. And you will think that infancy is the

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hardest or when a child is a toddler that is hard. No that that is actually easy. Yes, it's it's physically hard. But the real test begins when the child is able to speak and answer back and say that they do things differently. They they want to do something else. They don't agree with you, they argue with you. So all of this requires SABR

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all of this requires SABR so they will be granted Hoofer BMO Savile Row where you lock down if he had to hear tone was Salama, and they will be met in paradise with greeting and salam, and they will be welcomed in paradise with the Greek

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Hang up salaam with peaceful words and that is where they will remain forever Colleen Ophea What an excellent abode What an excellent home place of stay. Because in this world, any parents their concern is to make a good home. And so often any, if you are focused on you know, teaching your children good things, you want to make sure they have a good education, you want to make sure they have good opportunities in life, then your money your attention goes towards that and when your money and attention goes towards teaching your children good things, then of course, your home gets neglected. Right. So, we see over here, that Allah subhanaw taala will compensate everything. Holly

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Dena Fie, her hustle at moussaka, Lomo calm. Now, we should be making this thorough, like I mentioned, whether a person is married or not, whether a person has children or not this dua is relevant to every believer, and we should be making this thorough. Now, we see that primarily in this tutorial, we're asking Allah to make our children righteous and righteous children are extremely important. And he a person cannot say, Well, my children, you know, they, they have decided that they're not going to be very religious, and that's their choice. And I'm okay with that. No, you can never be okay with that. You should want to have children who are righteous, who

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are good worshippers, who are sincere to Allah, who are eager for the home of the Hereafter. Because the prophets of Allah, when they made dua to have children, they didn't just say, Yeah, Allah grant me, children. They said, Love be heavily Mina Solly hain, oh my Lord grant me, children from those who are righteous, meaning righteous children.

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And having children is a blessing of Allah. And he some people, they say that, you know, raising children is hard. I don't want to ever have children.

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Yes, it is hard. There is no doubt about this. It is painful. It is expensive. There's a lot of tears, there's a lot of sweat in it. There's a lot of hard work, a lot of worry. But Allah subhanaw taala rewards very generously to those people who, who strive hard it his way. And when you look at this from a worldly perspective, is it worth having children, any to think about, you know, think about consider all the money, all the physical work, all the emotional labor, you have to invest all the sacrifices you have to make in order to have children or to raise children. From a worldly perspective, it's not worth it. It's not any, you you'd rather not have children, you know, live a

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comfortable life, spend your money on travel, on experiencing, you know, good things in life. Maybe a goal for Umrah every year. You know, things like that. However, the reward that a person gets by raising good children,

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that reward is continuous. Because in Hadees, we learned that when a person dies, then his actions come to an end, his good deeds stop, except for three things. And one of those three things is what it is a righteous child who prays for you, who prays for you. And the way that a righteous child prays for their parents is very different, because that righteous child will first of all recognize the favor off their parents, and they will be grateful to them, they will continue to make dua for them, they will give sadaqa on their behalf, they will do Hajj or Umrah etcetera, on their behalf. So this is why we see that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he he encouraged his ummah,

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to have children. And

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also to we learned that when a person dies,

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then we learn in a hadith that Allah subhanaw taala raises the rank of a slave, a righteous live in paradise. And that person asks that Europe why any How come? How come my level, my rank has been raised in paradise. So he is informed that this is because of your child seeking forgiveness for you.

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And you could have many good friends. You could have many good relatives. And yes, they love you. They they care about you. But the way that a

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childcare is about their parents. That is very different. So, we see that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam encouraged in many Hadees, that we should be eager to have children, because there is great benefit in having righteous children. So we should make dua to Allah, that Allah Allah grant me, righteous children. But one thing we should understand is that it is not enough to just, you know, desire children and have children. Children also have rights, where parents have rights children also have rights on their parents in Amman Buhari, his book, a double move right, there is an entire chapter on on reliable OLED, taking care of children looking after children. So this is a

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very important

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matter that many people neglect any, a lot of times people think that it's only the parents who have rights over their children. No, it's the other way around as well. Children also have rights over their parents, and the rights that children have over their parents is not limited to providing food and drink and shelter and clothing. Send them to school. No, this is this is not enough. There are more rights, Allah Now he said that just as your parents have rights over you. So to your child has rights over you rather many rights, such as teaching them the individual obligations, it is your responsibility as parents to teach your children how to pray,

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the obligations, it is your duty to ensure that they are fasting, it is your duty to ensure that they are learning you know the ways of remembering Allah azza wa jal teaching them Islamic manners, it is your obligation to teach them not just not to steal not to be rude, how to speak nicely how to eat properly, giving them gifts, equally, that you must treat all of your children the same in the sense that if you buy something for one child, you should buy the same or something similar for the other, both of them should should receive gifts, whether that is a gift or a walk or or or something else. And he said if preference is shown with no reason that is regarded as invalid by some of the

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scholars and as makuu by others, meaning if a person just you know,

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mainly gives some

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sadaqa on behalf of one child and not on behalf of the other, then this is not fair. There must be equality in this matter. And it will model the Longhorn who he said that Allah has called them abroad, meaning the people of paradise he has called them abroad, those who are dutiful, because they are dutiful to their parents and to their children. And he better is that you are good to your parents, and you're also good to your children. He said just as you have a duty which you owe your parents, so you have a duty which you owe your child.

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We are we have responsibilities towards our children. And that responsibility is not just that we give them breakfast, lunch and dinner. And that we just do their laundry. And we make sure that they know how to make their bed, and how to brush their teeth, and how to comb their hair, and how to fold their clothes. This is not enough. We learn that the Prophet sallallahu earlier set them said each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. And in this hadith, we see the man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for them. The woman is the shepherd of her husband's house and child and is responsible for them. And in a hadith we learn we're in a Louella

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DeCarlo acre have gone and your child has a right over you. In you so often it happens that men think that their only responsibility as a father is that they go to work, they make money and they pay the bills. No your child has a right over you. What is that right? That you sit with your child? You look at him, you feed him, you you talk to him. You just just as you teach your child how to, for example, use a computer or ride a bike. You also teach them good things. We're in non duality Kalinka, how can

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but so often children are neglected. And it's so sad that men

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I mentioned this earlier that so many children. I mean, there are studies that show that so many children in the West are growing up in poverty because of absent fathers, absent fathers, any first of all, they're not there when the child is born, right because they just slept with someone and then they didn't care about it. Other times what happens because of divorce.

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Again, children are completely

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abandoned by their fathers. Sometimes what happens that the marriage is intact but the father is still absent. He is spending his money on his own fun and the children are suffering and poverty. What ineligibility Cara Laker How can this isn't a hadith where the prophets of Allah who earlier said I'm taught that your body has a right or that your Lord has a right over you, your body has a right over you. Your spouse has a right over you. Your guest has a right over you. And your child also has a right over you. So are you spending quality time with your children? Are you giving them what they deserve from you? Because sometimes we say, you know, my children don't listen to me. And

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we just want some Dora that will work like a miracle that just tell me something I can say. And within five minutes my child will become an angel doesn't happen like that. Along with Doral, there must be effort, there must be accountability. He will how am I raising my child? What am I giving to my child? How can I complain when I have neglected my child?

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We learned the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that there is no person whom Allah puts in charge of others. And when he dies, he is insincere to his subjects, except that ALLAH will forbid paradise to him. What a scary Hadith this is that if Allah has put you in charge of your children, then you must be sincere to your children, and you must deal with them fairly and you must give your children their rights. And and we've seen this hadith that if a person deceives his flock those that he is responsible for, and he neglects them does not give them what they deserve. Then look at the outcome. Such a person is not going to paradise. In another Hadith we learn it is sufficient sin for

00:37:02 --> 00:37:45

Amen, that he neglects those on whom he is obligated to spend. Because some men are very stingy with their children. They want to save money so that they can build a fancy house back home. And their children. They cannot even go to Quran class. Because the father is not willing to pay for any fees. They cannot go to Islamic school. And think about it any giving your children a proper good upbringing. This is your responsibility. If you're putting them in a situation where constantly they're being exposed to schicke they're being exposed to sins, they're, they're being exposed to things that are

00:37:46 --> 00:38:01

you know that that are hateful to Allah, and then they become okay with it. They begin to practice it themselves. Who will you blame them? Is that fancy house back home worth it? That it came at the cost of your children's good Islamic upbringing?

00:38:03 --> 00:38:45

So your children have a right over you. And especially when it comes to their education, their tarbiyah their Deen, this is our responsibility we will be answerable for it. Allah subhanaw taala tells us in the Quran, yeah, uh, you Hello, Dina Manu, COO and Fusa como Alico, Nara, or you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a fire? What kind of a fire is this? This is a fire whose fuel is people and stones over which are appointed angels that are harsh and severe. They do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, and they do whatever they are commanded.

00:38:46 --> 00:39:36

And those angels are appointed over there. Why to inflict punishment on the people of *. So Allah is telling us save yourselves and your families? And who and who is your family, your children, so save them? Don't be just okay with all their adults. Now, this is their choice. It's up to them, What can I do? No, you still have to do something. And begin with drop. Begin with Dora I call upon Allah subhanaw taala. Because remember that the dua of a parent for their child is accepted. Allah subhanaw taala does not ignore that. And then along with Dora, think about what you need to do, or what how you need to provide for your children, not just financially but emotionally being present

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being there. Because some people you know, while they are around their children, they're constantly disconnected from them. They're in some other world. And these days Subhan Allah the phone is such a big fitna, such a big fitna that even when the child is, you know, telling something to the parents so excitedly, you know, sharing a joke or sharing something that happened at home. What is it that the parents are doing?

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Looking at their phones,

00:40:02 --> 00:40:26

their phones, they're catching up on all the chat, any at dinner and breakfast in the living room, when they're sitting together, when they're, you know, going somewhere all the time, we are busy with our phones, and the children are hungry for love and attention. Hungry, they're desperate for it. And when we don't give it to them, then they seek it from somewhere else.

00:40:27 --> 00:40:41

So what are the rights of children with regard to their upbringing? First of all, we learned that a man must choose a good wife for himself. And a woman must choose a good husband for herself.

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Any when you're thinking about marriage, don't just think about whether your potential spouse is wealthy, whether they'll be able to, you know, take care of you financially, whether, you know, they will be a good fit for your family, whether you get along with them, whether, you know, they're good looking and things like that, yes, all those things are important, but you must also see, Are they someone who would be a good parent to my child? Do I want to raise children with this person? Are they someone who, for example, prays Salah who speaks the truth, who earns a lawful income, who is good to their family, who cares about family, and he all of these things are important. So don't

00:41:36 --> 00:42:01

just think about yourself, when you are looking for someone to marry. look at whether they are a good potential parent as well. Secondly, it is all of the rights of a child that they be given a good name, and that their basic needs of food and drink and clothing, accommodation, et cetera. All of them are fulfilled

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according to what a person can afford, without being stingy or extravagant.

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We learn that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in he he he mentioned with regard to marriage, that you know, a woman is married for several reasons, you know, for her wealth, or beauty or status, things like that. And he said, choose the one who has Dean, right? So choose someone who has Dean because if they have Dean, then they will that this means that they're fearful of Allah when they're fearful of Allah. That means that they will be careful about their responsibilities, including their children.

00:42:45 --> 00:43:19

And we also learned the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said that when someone whose deen and whose o'clock pleases you, and they propose, you know, for your daughter, your sister, whoever, then then give your daughter, a sister in marriage to that person, who someone whose religion and o'clock pleases you. So these two things are very important, Dean, and coloque. Because when a person will have them, they have these values, they will pass them on to their children.

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Another thing that's important is that it is the right of children, that when they're born, in fact, even before they're born, you ask Allah subhanaw taala to protect them from the influence of shaitan. You you make dua to Allah to protect your child from the influence of shaitan. In Hadith we learn the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam taught that when one of you has relations with their spouse, they should say Bismillah Allahu Majid Nibbana che upon with gender be shaytaan Amara zakenna That Oh Allah, keep Shetland away from us and keep shaitan away from what you provide us. And parents must say this door, any couples must say this door, even at the time of intimacy, in

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fact, at the time of intimacy, so that if there is a child that is born, as a result of that the Prophet sallallahu earlier said them say that shaytan will not be able to harm that child.

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Then we learn that the mother of Maria, what did she do when her daughter was born? When she was born, she said in the redo have beaker with Rhea to have in a shape on the regime that oh my lord, I asked you to protect her and her children from shaitana regime. So ask Allah to protect your children from the influence of shaitan. And this is not just at one point, you should continue to ask Allah to protect your children from Shavon you know, the DA redo comically Murthy law, he Tamati mentioned shatter equally shaytaan in Warhammer team. I mean, clearly I Neelam the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam would make this dua for both his grandsons Hassan and Hussein that I

00:45:00 --> 00:45:26

I give you an Allah's protection to read the coma because the methylator Murthy mean shared equally shaitan against the evil of every shaitan and also evil eye and anything, any creature that is venomous, any I ask Allah to protect you. So, your children deserve that you pray for them you ask Allah to protect them from the influence of shaitan.

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Another thing is that parents must teach their children the good manners and good behavior and the you know, the deen in whatever way that they can if you can teach yourself excellent and if you cannot, then you must provide your children such opportunities also begin by teaching them the rights of Allah.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said teach the child to pray when he is seven years old. So if you don't teach your child at that tender age, what's going to happen when they turn 17 And you shame them for not praying or for not knowing how to pray? Who is to blame? So begin early don't delay

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in the Quran we learned what it called a Luke manually bunny he one way or the other who yeah Bucha yella to Shrek villa in the ship kala Holman early look man said to his son when he was advising him that oh my son, do not worship others with Allah do not do shit because check is the greatest wrong deed. It's the biggest sin so he taught his son about check that don't do this. So begin teaching your children by teaching them about the rights of Allah and developing them the fear of Allah look man said yeah Buddha yeah in the intercom with caller Huberty Minh hurdle in fact a confused security officer Marathi oval are yet to be held law in the law. Hello, Cleveland clubby that oh my

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son, if there is something that is equal to the weight of a grain of mustard, a seed of mustard, mustard seed and He's so tiny, something as tiny as that. And if that is in a rock somewhere or somewhere floating in the skies or somewhere on the earth, Allah will bring it forth. And he Allah subhanaw taala knows about the tiniest of things even where they are what's happening. So build that awareness in your children, that Allah knows everything.

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And then encourage them to learn the deen you know, the teach them from the beginning, you know, put this in their mind that in sha Allah, my child will become a Hatfield, my child will recite the Quran, you will memorize the Quran, you will learn the deen and show them good examples.

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Also, teach them good manners and of course, that is done by example. Sometimes it means that you have to be a little firm also, and there is nothing wrong and being firm. But being firm does not mean that you you know, beat them to the you know, in such a way that they are,

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you know, hurt emotionally they feel like they're not loved, that you're always harsh to them. No, this is not correct. Any, the only situation where you know striking is permissible is in regard to Salah and only with the right of Allah, not for other things. Some people have a habit of slapping their children on every little thing, throwing shoes at them a soffit Allah any This is so common in some cultures that you know people will beat their children with slippers or they will pull their ears they will pinch them. This is not right.

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Why do you have to use punishment all the time in order to discipline your children? This is not correct.

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The prophets of Allah who already listed him did not do that. And he looked at how he would honor his daughter. Look at how he would you know play with his grandchildren. Show them love and love does not spoil. Love does not spoil what spoiled children is your inconsistency, your inconsistency. So be consistent yourself be firm. And being firm does not mean being harsh or being violent.

00:49:31 --> 00:49:59

We also learn that it is the way of the prophets that they would include their children in their work. So for example, Ibrahim alayhis salam when he was building the Kaaba, what did he do? He built it with a smile early his sunnah. Right? Well it'd be able to follow Ibrahim will cover in the middle Beatty, what is married to both father and son. And especially for boys. It's important that fathers spend time with them. Fathers take them

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to work, you know take them to different places that they go to, so that the boys learn from a young age that you know this is part of life.

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Also, it is important that a person is fair with their children, and the person shows love to them. We learned that once a Bedouin came to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, and he asked that you kiss your children, because we do not kiss them. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, can I put mercy in your hearts after Allah has removed it from them? Any This is a sign that you have no mercy in your heart that you don't kiss your children. We are kissing children is not limited to kissing babies. Okay, because we learned that the Prophet sallallahu earlier sent him he would kiss Fatima de la Mourinho on her forehead. When she would come to him. She was married, she was a

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mother. Yet when she would come the prophets of Allah who already ascended would kiss her forehead.

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We learned that remodel the Longhorn who wanted to appoint a man as a governor.

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And in one of the conversations the governor said the demand said that I have such and such a number of children and I have never kissed any of them. And or model de la Horne who said, Allah will only show mercy to the kindness of His slaves. Any Omar Abdullah Horton who did not like this, that if this man is so harsh, that he has never kissed any of his children, then how will he treat his people?

00:51:30 --> 00:51:46

We also learned that Abu Bakr al de la Mourinho, he was so careful about how he spoke in front of Aisha de la marina. In Hadith we learned that once a worker said that by Allah there is no man on the face of the earth that I love more than Omar. Okay, and this is when

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the in the after the death of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam. So, after some time, a bucket of Lamond, who came back and he asked Aisha, that what did I say? And she told him, and Abu Bakr al de la Marne, who said that, yes, Omar is dear to me, although one's child is closer to one's heart, and he wanted to make sure that I shall do the heart and did not feel that my father loves her more than he loves me. Subhanallah and I shall la de la Miranda is an adult at this point. Yet he cared about her emotions, her feelings. And sometimes we think we don't have to care about the feelings of our children because you know, tough love. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:52:31 --> 00:52:34

He said about his grandchildren, they are my sweet basil in this world.

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And he will he was once seen, seen carrying her son on Padilla, I know on his shoulders, and he was saying, Oh Allah, I love him, so you love him. So show mercy to your children. We learned that a woman came to Aisha de la hora and her begging for food. And that woman had with her two of her daughters. And I should have the love more in her. Give that woman three dates. So the woman gave one date each to each daughter and the third date. And she was about to eat it herself when both girls began looking at the mother. So the mother broke her date into two halves. And she gave each half to each daughter. And she basically ate nothing herself. And I showed her the long run. He was

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amazed by that. And she mentioned that the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam and the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam said, Are you surprised that that Allah will show mercy to her, because she was merciful towards her child. So when a mother is merciful to her child, a Father is merciful to her child, this is a means of earning the Mercy of Allah for yourself.

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Also, it is up the rights of children, that when they reach adulthood, then you help them get married, you find them a good spouse, you help them get settled, you help them become independent, to stand on their feet. And if if a child reaches, you know, is way past the age of puberty, and the child wants to get married, but the parents don't facilitate that marriage, and the child falls into sin. Then a portada said, then the parents are sinful, parents are sinful. And these days Subhanallah there are so many opportunities to sin, to fall into, you know, such acts of decency of indecency. Any a person does not even have to go out all you need is just a computer Subhanallah so

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protect your children. And if your child is, you know, in his 20s in her 20s, find a suitable spouse, withdrawal for them and make dua for their marriage, for their health for their well being. Because apparently they are all for their children is not projected, as we learned in Heidi's. So what are some dollars that we can make for our children? First of all, as I mentioned,

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The prophets of Allah, they may Dora or be heavily meno Salah hain, oh my Lord, grant me a child from among the righteous. And he made this thorough even before you have children and make this dua even if you have children, that any child you have ya Allah make them righteous. And this is a dua that Ibrahim alayhis salam made. Right? And what happened? Allah subhanaw taala says Ferber Shellder now who be olam in Halleen? We gave him good news of a forbearing child.

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And this is marine or his sunnah. How forbearing he was so forbearing that when his father said, I have been I'm supposed to slaughter you. He said, Oh, my father do what you have been commanded. He did not object. So for bearing he was that he was building the karma with his father. So make Dora that era. Grant me a child from among the righteous.

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And then another door we can make as a biller to Donnie Foden, we're under Hyrule weary thing, that Oh my Lord, do not leave me alone with no air while you are the best of inheritors. This doll was a dua Obzor criada, his setup, and he made this doll when he had no children. So he made this doll and what happened? Allah subhanaw taala says first the Jebin Allah who will have been Allah Who yeah, here, we answered him, and we gave him yeah, here we gave him the gift of Yahia Alayhis Salam, while slashing Allahu selja And we reformed for him his wife. So make this dua also Rob Billetto daarmee. Further, well, antihero werritty. Another donor that we can make is not be heavily Milla Don

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Kathuria temper Heba in Nicosia, Mira Dora, that Oh my Lord, grant me from yourself a good offspring, indeed you are the Hearer of supplication. This is also the dua of the curiosity. And this shows us that the criada Santa didn't just make Dora wants to have a righteous child. And he made there are many times and he made there are over and over again, that Oh my Lord, grant me from yourself. A good offspring, who is a good offspring, a good child, someone who is good not just in their health, in their, in their, you know, physical body in their emotional and mental health, but also spiritually. So during Atlanta Heba in Nikka, Samia or Dora, look at his hope that Oh Allah,

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you are the hero of supplication.

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Then another door that we should be making is that we should be seeking refuge with ALLAH against shaitan for our children, like the mother of Madame said in need or eat to her beaker with reata Homina shaytaan allegedly, when you see that, for example, your children are misbehaving they're clearly in it. Sometimes you can see clearly under the influence of che upon any there is no reason to misbehave, there's no reason to be angry. There's no reason to be,

00:58:06 --> 00:58:53

you know, to be so irritable, but they are, they're answering back. Make dua that Allah Allah protect my child from shaitan and this can be whether your child is a few minutes old, or many years old, whether they live with you or they don't live with you. Ask Allah to protect them from the influence of shaitan. And the Torah that I mentioned to you earlier, which the prophets of Allah who were designed would make for his grandsons that will read the Kuma bikini Mantilla hit term it means shatter equally Shaitan in wahama, teen women kuleana lamb that are also we should be making to protect our children from the influence of shape one another or we can be made we can make as an

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arbitrarily more famous celebrity women Buddha Yeti, or Bunnell Taco Bell, Dora, that Oh my Lord, make me an Establisher of prayer. And many from my descendants, our Lord, accept my supplication. And this is, this is a dua that you can make in your Salah at the end of Salah also, that he or Allah, make me someone who prays and make my children those who praise Allah. And so often parents complain that my daughter doesn't pray, my son does not pray. They don't want to pray. They used to pray, and now all of a sudden they have stopped praying, or they don't pray properly. You know, they say they have prayed, but I have a feeling that they have not prayed. They said they have will do

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but I have a feeling that they don't have any sometimes you have these fears about your children. So make this thorough, that Oh my Lord, make me someone who prays properly and make my children also those who pray properly.

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Those who give the help of Allah, because when they will give the right of Allah then they will be conscious of Allah in other aspects of their life also, another

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Are out we could make a little bit Hublin admin as well Gina with the reality no matter what you're either dealing with subpoena email, and this is the door that we discussed earlier. Another there are we can make but don't be Zerhouni. Assura near mythicality Ananda Allah here, where Allah well, he they were an ARMA la sala Hunter BA, was literally fee to the Yeti in the tube to a lake, we're in the middle of assuming that oh my lord enabled me to be grateful for your favor which you have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and to work righteousness of which you will approve, and make righteous for me my offspring, and he make my children righteous for me. This doesn't just mean that

01:00:42 --> 01:01:30

make them righteous towards me, but make them righteous, such that I can see them doing righteous things. Because so often it happens that, you know, children don't see the sorry parents don't see the piety of their children, they will after they leave this world, then, you know, when their children realize how short life is, then, you know, they repent to Allah and they become righteous, etc. us literally feed the reality, make righteous for me my offspring, meaning I'm able to see their piety and also, for me, any make it in my favor. Because when your children are righteous, this is something that will benefit you too. Because righteous children will pray for you. They will

01:01:30 --> 01:02:04

do good deeds that that you will also be rewarded for and when you will teach them how to worship Allah, then every time they worship Allah, you will also be rewarded. So a sniffling feed the reality it needs to be to iniquity, Nieminen, Muslims, and indeed, I have repented to you, and indeed I am of the Muslims. Another art we could make is a London mafia them but who will the hero culpa, who are hustlin foccacia. Who? This Dora the Prophet sallallahu already said it made for that young man who came to him and asked him permission to come and say now

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and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam spoke to him and made him understand how Zina is something evil. And then he also made the offer that young man that Oh Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and guard his chastity. So sometimes, you know, you worry for your children, your growing children, as they go out in the world, and maybe they are falling into fitna, you don't know what kind of sins they are committing, you know, what kind of sins they're hiding from you. You don't know what's happening. You talk to them, you discuss with them, and they understand, but yet they slip. For example, you talk to your daughter, that or your son, that you know that they

01:02:51 --> 01:02:52


01:02:53 --> 01:03:04

you know, have such a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, or sometimes you see your own child having, for example, same * feelings.

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So you don't know what to do. You find yourself in so much confusion any logically, maybe your child understands, but they don't have that emotional, that spiritual strength in order to stay away from sin. So make dua for them that Oh ALLAH forgive you sin, purify his heart, that whatever. Desire shanwa there isn't this in his heart, remove that. Well how sinful Joe guard has chastity and for your daughter, you can say Allahu Workfit them by her with the Hill Alba, we're hustlin for Jaha and this is adorable we should be making anyway. Because there's so much fitna in the world. And other there are we can make along with the Cobra who or Allah guide his heart, or along with the kombucha

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for your daughter or the guide her heart. And this Dora the Prophet sallallahu are listed made for a little de la Mourinho when he sent a little de la Mourinho as a judge to Yemen. He already they'll be the one who said to him that I'm a young man, I don't know how to judge and sometimes you know, your child is struggling with, with with grown up decisions, right? For example, they're struggling at work, they're struggling at school. So make the offer them Allah Almighty culpa, who the Oh Allah guide his heart, guide her heart. Sometimes you see that your child is, is suffering from a from a spiritual illness, or sometimes even a mental illness.

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So Allahu Mushfiq cunber Who will Allah cure his heart? Sometimes your child is so bitter about something that happened, or they're so jealous, or they're so angry or

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They have so many, you know desires for this world that are unrealistic, so many doubts maybe that worry you so make the offer them Allah who must be credible who Oh ALLAH cure his heart cure her heart. I mean another door we could make Allahumma in the URL to become a JD Su woman Zoji to show you but to che Eboni covenant machine women well in your corner Allah Yarrabah O'Malley your corner Alia dabba women hurry the market and I know who Torani will call boo boo Irani in LA has an agenda what either as a attend America, inshallah we'll discuss this in more detail tomorrow. But in this era, we ask Allah to Allah protect me from a child who becomes a master over me, any a child, who

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begins to treat me as a slave as a servant, and a child who it becomes a rub over the house, over the household, that end the entire family, the entire household is disrupted because of the behavior of one child. So yeah, Allah protect us from this. So we should be making dua for our children, on the one hand, being attentive to our duties towards our children, and also making the offer them and don't wait for something difficult or painful to happen to raise your hands before Allah for your children. No make dua for your children anyway, whether you have them yet or you have them whether they are young or old, whether they are obedient or not, whether they are righteous or not make dua

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for your children. It is your children's right that you pray for them. So as you made your offer yourself in the month of Ramadan, ultimate to offer your children

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inshallah we will conclude over here, subclinical Lahoma will be handed a shadow Allah ilaha illa Anta Estelle federal Governor Tobu LA was Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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