Was It Easier to Get Married in Early Islam
Channel: Yasir Qadhi
File Size: 11.69MB
East London Mosque
The question is in the sera did men and women find it difficult to get married? Or is this a new phenomenon? What can those finding it difficult to get married to, according to the series? So this is a genuine, serious question. Actually, I know
there will never be a q&a without marriage.
Doesn't matter what the topic is, you're going to somehow mashallah it's human, human nature.
Those that are single, are finding it a problem to get married. Those that are married, their problems are
anyway we smell.
The grass is always greener on the other side now Subhanallah
Listen, there's no question brothers and sisters that
marriage in the time of the Sahaba and Tabby ruined, the time of the process was looked at very differently than it is now.
There's a lot of factors for this, we don't have time to get into them.
It's really awkward to say this. But they viewed marriage as a utilitarian act of convenience more than they viewed it as an act of love and romance for the rest of your life. And because of this, marriage was very organic, very open.
wasn't a big deal. We have this westernized notion of specialty our youngsters. Did you find the right one? Out of all six and a half billion people in the world. There's that one person that martial arts of article 100. This is fantasy.
You have to make marriages work.
You have to put in the effort. No two people are fully compatible. True, some are more compatible than others, no doubt about that. But even in the best of marriages, you know, I have an entire number of several lectures about you know, the reality of the prophetic household SallAllahu sallam. There are
issues within the prophetic household and it's in the Quran. It's in the Quran, right? Allah azza wa jal mentions
regarding the wives and sort of a palapa so that the Dogon and others are coming down. If Allah azza wa jal wanted the marriage or the process of itself would never have any issues. But he wanted to make us a role model. And he wanted to show us even in that household, sometimes things happen, but you overcome, and they have the best marriages. So I do have to point out that yes, marriage was much easier for multiple reasons, primarily because people understood that if somebody is single, they shouldn't remain like this. So if there is a unmarried lady, it just there was a feeling it's not right, that she's not married, somebody should marry her. Now, obviously, in those days, you
also had, you know, polygamy, which obviously is an issue that is problematic for the Western world. It's sad that they have embraced alternative lifestyles, and they haven't embraced the Abrahamic lifestyle. I'm just saying that not trying to get canceled anybody, I'm just saying, it's really sad. They've taken on things that they themselves thought were not allowed. And they're not taking on Abrahamic values. It's really strange. That which is normal for so many civilizations, society, they have made abnormal, and that which was abnormal for even their own history. They have made normal belong with Stan, that's yeah, and then we just simply comment that marriage has been made
more complicated by multiple factors, but of them as well, is that
especially widows and divorcees reading the Sierra it's very clear that there was no stigma attached to ladies who are without a husband. They become widows or they've been divorced. It wasn't a major stigma.
Unfortunately, now, it is a huge issue. And there is this this taboo Enos, of why would I marry Javed married a divorce or a widow we know exactly but jabber married a lady who was already married in the past. And he said, I have to because of my racism. Thank you, Tim. The process are appreciated that, you know, not everybody has the same circumstances. So this is another factor that and it's for some strange reason only on the women's side, the stigma is there. It's really strange. Amongst the men side, they don't seem to have the same stigma attached even though you would think. But it is we have to overcome this we have to actively overcome this, of course of the reasons as
well is the high Mahal and the expensive weddings. And again, this is a reality that we need to work to. We need to work to make easier. And, again, I'm not trying to get into any trouble here, but let me just say generically, dear parents, if you don't encourage your young men and women for the halal, they will find routes to the Haram
your children's generation is not your generation.
Your children's generation is not your generation. The accessibility of lewdness.
Sorry to be blunt, but we're talking as adults we're talking to protect the family.
The accessibility of stock for the love blatant fascia. To the teens is something that is unprecedented in human history, human history in this society, if you don't lower the bar to get Halal marriage
Haram is accessible for free.
So the onus is on parents.
Let me encourage you, or parents, to have frank conversations with your young men and women, when they are of marriage age, even before they're able to get married, put the idea in their mind when they're 1718 is maybe too young to actually get married financially. You say listen, you know, I want you to be a righteous young Muslim or Muslim. You know, I want you to you know, get married. And we will help you insha Allah Tala as much as we can put it into their minds that we want the halal, we want the halal and if they find a legitimate partner in a halal manner, going I soccer and whatnot and they follow the halal they come to you with halal.
Don't think they've done something evil. They're coming to you for Halloween, not how wrong
we have to overcome the stigma as well of how they find the partner.
If they interact in a public setting, and without any haram taking place. They know the existence of this person and in their heart. They're like this is potential can they come back to you? Oh mama or Baba, what about this person? Some of us can step foot Allah, how dare you? Yeah, he's she's 20 years old. If she has a legitimate inclination, and she comes to you, thank Allah, she's coming to you. He's a young man. 21 years old, he's coming to your blessings. He wants his mother to go and check the family out. Why are you saying be allow some things to change? And I have a whole hook by gave about the story of Musa and his wife and the Quran. where Allah says one of them came
embarrassed and shy. There is an indication there's something in her heart. Why wouldn't she have that? There's nothing wrong. She didn't do anything. But it's not true. This is a young dashing man who defended me he helped me he's a charismatic person he lowering the gaze. He's a nice person, why would I not nothing wrong with that, right? So we have to rethink through the whole notion of high Maha of long list of conditions. I don't know the situation in England. In America, we have a crises of marrying outside the faith.
We have a major crises of Muslims, men and women. I don't know what's happening. I'm talking about America, women. And it's not allowed by Iijima of the OMA. And in fact, I have a fatwa that I personally follow in my life. It's a stricter one, people say I'm black. So what does it matter? Relax. It's a matter of protecting the Sharia and the goals of the Sharia. My footwear that I follow in my life, a Muslim man is not allowed to marry a Kitabi lady in the lands we live in. This is my verdict. I know it's a minority opinion. I'm not enforcing on anybody. But I have never done an account like this. And I don't agree with this. In my humble opinion, our fault, even our buses for
throwing it's also some of the earliest callers also held it. The marriage of a Kitab via is only allowed in the land of Islam. The marriage with 100 kitab is allowed when the laws are going to help you and the children protect your iman, in these countries. In my humble opinion, the public footwear should be and this is the fatwa I give
to people to people take it or not it and this has been our buses for tour. He also said the same thing. This is not allowed when you're living in lands that are not governed by the shutdown. The concession to Maria Kitabi a lady is only when you're living in a land that is ruled by the Sharia. So I don't believe it is permissible for a man to marry a lady of their Hedy kitab. In these lands, we must restrict and as a rule of thumb said that if all of our men marry outside who's gonna marry our women, he said this. And he made it not allowed for his, you know, employees of the government. He's literally said if you're employed by the Islamic government, and you're in faraway lands, you
must find the Muslim a lady. This is wisdom you're thinking. I follow the same footwork. We need to encourage marriage from within. By shutting marriage from without, we need to make marriage more pragmatic and realistic. We need to allow young men and women your opportunity to perform the HELOC and one final point I'll add here is that once the man and the woman both of them if they are of mature age to
Why do you want 20 to 23? Even if they can't financially afford, we should encourage at least the Nikka being done.
This is a very easy Halal solution.
We should lower the age of marriage from our previous generation we really must. But only if there's wisdom and this is every young man or woman needs to decide by himself, right? Only if there's maturity I'm not saying if there and if a person cannot financially afford a wife, but mature he's there so you know what, at least let the two families come together, let the nigga contract be done. And even if you're not living together as a husband and wife there's a halal outlet for emotions for talking for eating at restaurants are some it's a natural urge. And we have to don't criminalize. This is a natural emotion. It's not haram it is the essence of added inside of Nikka. So parents we
need to get over the awkwardness of this topic. Have frank conversations with the young men and women encourage early marriage encourage Nikka and inshallah This is one of the ways we will tackle it. Allah Hua
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