Misyar Marriage and other Types of Marriages Q&A

Yasir Qadhi

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Channel: Yasir Qadhi

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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah who Allah Allah He was so happy woman wala Ahmedabad. Welcome to another Tuesday's open q&a. And as usual, we choose or I choose some of the more pertinent and relevant questions that I think are going to be of use for a broader audience. Once again, the email to us is ask why Q at Epic messenger dot o RG, ask why Q at Epic messenger dot orgy you'll see that on your screen as well. And also, please keep on reiterating that, even though I'm the one that reads the email, so I will be reading directly, I cannot answer your questions privately. So please understand, I have to choose maybe less than 5% of

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the questions that are going to be of the most benefit to the largest amount of viewers. And so I just quickly skim through and I choose so please don't get frustrated or irritated because otherwise I would not have anything to do. In fact, even if I were to spend all day I will not be able to answer the amount of questions that come in. So please understand, I have to choose that which is the largest benefit inshallah and I cannot answer personal or private questions specific fatawa, about your situation that are very unique to you. Please go to your local scholars, I will answer generic questions such as the ones we will do today, I've gathered three or four questions that are

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all pertinent to the topic of marriage. And these are common types of marriages that take place. And so I've gathered a number of them together, and we'll be commenting on all of them simultaneously. So let us let us begin brother Hatem from Saudi Arabia emails, asking if I can discuss my thoughts on what is called a miss CR marriage. I'll explain all of these terms as we go along. So he wants to know Miss CR marriage and my take on this type of marriage. Brother Mohammed from New York emails saying that once again, miss your marriage that he has, that it is said or is it true, that the Muslim marriage that some Obama have allowed is the same as the Moto our marriage that the Twelver

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Shia allow? So he's asking is, is Miss yar the same as moto? Or is it equivalent to moto sister sada from London, emails asking about a marriage in which the public is not informed? And no one knows, apart from the two witnesses? And of course, the couple, ie a secret marriage is this allowed or not? Brother Hussein from Singapore asks about what is known as Zenwatch, a little fee. And he says that he has ready for two from Al Azhar that says that it is allowed. So Can I comment on these on this on this type of marriage? Now, obviously, all of these questions have one thing in common and that is specific types of marriages. For many of you who are hearing this, this question, these

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terms are going to be completely unknown. And for some of you, you will know some of them are not all or some of you will know all of these types of marriages. So I will do all of these questions in one response. And there is no doubt that the issue of Nikka the issue of marriage is of course one of the key chapters of the chapters of filth and Sharia has revealed so many laws governing it and the goal of course is that with a shady eye wants to protect both the husband and the wife. And as usual when it comes to the procedure for Nikka as is to be expected, there are some agreed upon areas and there are some gray areas. And some of the issues that are agreed upon are of course you

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know, the husband and the wife have to be both agreeing to marry one another or the potential husband and wife and that the the procedure of the job and Cabul the offer and the acceptance must take place. And the issue of the Mahara must take place as well, one of the contentious areas I'm not going to talk about that today is the issue of the Wali I have spoken about the Wali in two very lengthy questions, and you can listen to my responses over there. I'm not going to repeat over here what I have said, but simply to summarize that the position that I have advocated and follow which is the majority position when it comes to the unmarried female, that she does need her What is

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permission without her What is permission there is no Nikka and the position that I follow for the one who has been previously married and then divorced or widowed is that for her the when he becomes a technicality and that even if a while he says no she can choose another one to perform the nigga and it also said that in the case of an unmarried lady, if her wali is being unreasonable, then she has the right to appeal to a higher authority and present her case and the higher authority. Typically, school groups

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caller's in her vicinity will look into what is happening. And they have the right to take the Willie, the right of the will die away from the Willie, because he is doing even if he is doing good. And if he's not doing and it is his right, then they will not do so. So this is the position that advocate that's in a nutshell, I've given the evidences for that in the other q&a. Today, of course, we're talking about slightly different questions related to the marriage. And all of these involve types of marriages in which the ideal marriage is not intended. That romanticized notion of a long term, healthy loving relationship is, you know, family being started. That's not really what

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is intended. And there's a gray area, some of those idealistic or ideal issues, and some of those ideal goals are not intended, or are explicitly put into conditions that there are not going to be done in this particular marriage. And so, at what point when you chip away from the ideal marriage, at what point will the Sharia intervene and say, No, enough is enough, you cannot go over there. And realize, of course, that the goal of the Sharia in placing all of these conditions is to protect both parties, and especially the more vulnerable party, which is typically the woman in a marriage. So the notion of the Woody is, of course, perfectly illustrative of this point, the purpose of the

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Woody is to raise the bar of the suitor and every man knows this, that when he has to approach the end of the lady, it changes the entire game than if he has to approach the lady directly the purpose of the Mahara it is understood to protect the lady financially. The purpose of the witnesses the publicity of the marriage is so that it is documented properly, the proposal and the acceptance is done so that we understand that both parties are willing. So this is the skeletal outline of a proper Nikka. The proper Nicaea must have a number of nests necessary. Pillars are can and have them this is not a fifth class, but of them is that the potential husband and wife are available. In

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other words, they're not chatting already booked for ladies marriage, you cannot get married at that time. If the husband has four wives, you cannot take a fifth wife. So they're both available, they're held out for one another. So they cannot be you know, for example, having been fostered by the same mother. So they're available, they're willing, they're halal for one another. And the fact that the Wali, if she's unmarried, has agreed previously and married has agreed, the mother must be there. And the witnesses must be present the minimum of two witnesses, by the way, this is the skeleton again, by the way, no scholar in Islamic history has ever said that of the conditions of

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the Nica is that a chef, or an Imam, or a more visa, be present, not at all. And the reason why we bring in a scholar or a chef is to make sure that the conditions of the Nica are met just because we want to person A religious authority, but we have to be careful as Muslims, we should not go down the route of let's say, Catholics, because Catholics believe that a marriage cannot take place without a without an actual priest. And the priest has a God given right. It's a sacrament, it's a God given right that only the priest can bring this past man and wife, you know, by the by the power invested in me by God that I can bring this couple together, we do not have a priesthood and a

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clergy in Islam. And if the husband and wife and the Wali and the two witnesses and the man if all of this is there, then the nigga can take place. And you don't have to have any chef or Adam, it can be done in the living room of the bride or the groom's house and everybody is present over there. And it's B it's going to be the acceptance and proposal should be between the Willie and between the husband to be and when that is done with the mother and the witnesses and everything, then it hamdulillah Danica has taken place. Now, the question arises, what if the goals that the ideal marriage should have or not intended, and that's where each one of these different Nikka Nick gas

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takes place, and the guy al Misia is one of them. Nikka Rafi is one of them. The secret Nikka is one of them. So all of these types of Nikka, they are chipping away at the ideal default understanding. So what then are we going to do when that is the case? We're going to go over these one by one. The first of these questions that we're going to cover is what is known as the Misia marriage. Now the term Ms. CR is not classical Arabic. It's a modern term that is based upon a dialect of Arabia found in a very big found in Saudi Arabia, Bedouin dialect. So it is not classical Arabic. And it is a very modern term Miss er, and what it means is to make things easy, okay, it's to make things easy.

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And the practice of Miss er marriage, it became somewhat common. Only recently, literally 20 years ago or so. 25 years ago.

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before this point in time, the concept of Miss er, as we understand it now, it might have existed anecdotally, it might have been found on the rare occasion. But it was not anything that was known as a cultural phenomenon. So Miss yar marriage dates back to 2030 years, very recent history in our own lifetimes. And it became prevalent in the beginning in Saudi Arabia, and that'd be it spread across the Middle East and across the world after that. And because of this multiple fatawa, were released in the last 20 years or so, some for some against the concept of misiak. Now, what exactly is missa missa is the marriage that takes place when a man and woman obviously agreed to marry and

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the woman agrees to give up some of the rights and the privileges that the Sharia makes obligatory upon the man. And that's why it's the ease marriage, the marriage of ease, the reason why this phenomenon began 25 years ago, I'm gonna say began, I mean, it became common or more common, was that there was and there still is a larger percentage of women who wanted to get married, but could not find a husband compared to the percentage of men who wanted to get married and could not find a wife. So, spinsterhood increased in the women of that region. And many women were simply not finding a husband. And as their ages increased, and as we are aware, marriage is based upon a lot of it is

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based upon one's looks and one's age, and so forth. So as one's age increases, the prospects diminish. And so people started saying that, you know, some people tried to say that, look, I don't mind you know, marrying some of the men of that region said, I don't mind marrying a second wife, but I cannot afford a second wife financially. And it so happened that many of these ladies are career ladies, and they have jobs, and they have an income. So they're not interested in a husband for money, but they want a husband for companionship for what Allah has made halal between a man and a wife, and maybe even to start a family. And so they would say, I don't mind you don't pay

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anything, I'll take care of my rent, I don't need you to take care of my rent, but I want a husband. And so the condition was put that the husband does not have to, for example, take care of the wife. Now, financially. Now, once you open this door, the market becomes a free for all. And so men and women, each one of them begin to negotiate, you know, the men are offering less and less, and the women are agreeing to whatever is being offered for Whatever their reasons might be. And notice here, of course, that Miss er marriages, they do have the Wali and they do have the witnesses and they do have you know, a matter sometimes there's a token mark because they were hurt by unanimous

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consensus that matter can be small or large, any there's no if they laugh amongst your Allama, the MaHA if the husband wife agree, it can be $1, one real one lira. And if the husband wife agree, it can be any one meal if they want to. And if it would be a type of straw for many of us, but $1 million, I mean, technically is halal. So if the husband wife agree that the mod is $1, and I'm not going to pay you any support after this marriage, and we will be husband and wife. And the woman agrees to this, this is a type of Misia. Now, this began, as I said, you know, a few decades ago, and an industry was born, where matchmakers would pair potential partners, and each side would offer

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what they're willing to negotiate on. So a man would go to this partner maker, the middleman, the middle person who became an industry you would pay, you know, hundreds of dollars to the middle person. And this middle person would compile the resumes of the men and the resumes of the woman and would negotiate and agree. So men would say, for example, that I can only give one night of the week, I don't have time to, to spend, I want one night of the week, and I'll give this much per month for rent. And the woman, for whatever reason would also say, okay, you know what, I'm fine with only one night and the rest you can spend with your other wife, and I'm not looking for a

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traditional marriage. And some men would say, I will spend full time but I'm not going to give any money. And so the woman might have plenty of wealth, she might have inherited wealth, she might run her own business, she might be a career lady, and the man has no job and she wants a husband and an actual family to start. So she will agree to take on the finances as long as the husband becomes a husband to her. So all of this opens up the door to Misia. So to summarize, what is missing out Miss er basically means and this is of course, a modern term is not a filthy term is a type of marriage in which the woman and is always the woman in the mercy and marriage because the the burden of time

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and the burden of finances is on the man so

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If the woman agrees to drop either time, or finances or a portion of time or finances or complete time and finances, basically no expectations and simply agrees to have a person in her life, a man will become her husband. And they agreed to this before the marriage and it has solidified and the marriage takes place with the with the with the witnesses, everything is there. This is what is known as Misia. Now, there's multiple angles to look at when I when I discussed this, and that's the way I answer questions. I don't give a simple answer because I want us to understand what is going on here. The first way to begin this answer is to quickly do a summary of what have our modern

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alumni said. Well, a quick survey will show you that a large majority overwhelming majority of scholars and fatwa councils have said that it is halal, but many of them have said it is halal but discouraged and some have said it is halal, and neither is it encouraged nor is it discourage. So Halal MOBA Halal mcru This is the default position of the majority of scholars. This is the Mufti of Saudi Arabia, the Mufti of Egypt, the council, the Muslim scholars, the mathematical Islami, they had to give out it really must Saudi Arabia, she has been baptized in Djibouti in the famous Fatima hubbers, who Haley and famous Shia Christopher Qaradawi as well, that he writes for example, that I

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have never called for the watch Miss er, nor do I encourage it, nor have I written an article encouraging people nor have a defended Miss Er, no have given a single hook but about Misia. However, when I was asked about it, I had to give an academically correct answer that fit with my conscience. And I could not make haram what Allah had made halal, just to make the people happy. And so I say that it is halal. I think it is halal, but I don't encourage it. So this is your use of Huawei who had to issue a statement when people were saying that, Oh, he's encouraging misiak He issued a disclaimer, no, I have never encouraged in fact, I don't like it. But I cannot make haram

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what Allah has made halal. So this is a show a few several cowboys position. On the other hand, you have a group of some very famous in them as well, who said that the marriage is haram, such a marriage is not allowed. And some have said that it is a sinful marriage, but it is valid. So it's not just my crew, but it is haram. Some have said it is battle. And some have said it is facet, what is the difference between battle and foster is not the point of today's talk. So the students will also know this if you're not happy. If you're unhappy, there is no difference. But my point is that a group of older mastered this marriage is not allowed. And you have some great names here. Shahar

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Muslim Ashkar Sharanya Kura dalgety,

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the Muhaddith of the last generation Shacklewell body that they all said that it is haram or bolted or fostered that you cannot or should not do this marriage. And if you read their fatawa by and large, they are centering around the point that this type of marriage goes against the goals of the Sharia. And that generally speaking, the harms that result are greater than the goods that are obtained. So the dollar the harm is more than the NEFA or the benefit. Now, this is the second group of scholars, the first group, they basically say that, look, you cannot make haram, something that technically fits the the criterion of marriage and the bare minimum criteria are met. You have the

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job, you have the COBOL you have the acceptance and the proposal being you have the offer in the proposal. You have the worry, you have the MaHA you have the two witnesses. And they said if the two of them agree to any conditions that are halal in and of themselves, who are we to get in between two people that want to get married, and it is up to the two partners. If the lady for example, wants to give up her rights and wants to take on some potential harm? Well, then that's her prerogative, it's not our job to tell her we can advise her, but we cannot force her to give up her right indeed, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said the most important conditions to fulfill

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are the conditions that allow the private parts to be handled ie then they can take place and he said the Muslim honors his conditions. So if those are the conditions, so be it. And they also say that

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if such an agreement took place in the middle of the marriage, spontaneously, by unanimous consensus, it would be huller. So why are you are you making it haram if it takes us in the beginning of the marriage? So for example, so the our mother, she felt the only for whatever reason she felt that Jani, maybe maybe her marriage might end. And so from her own freewill, she said to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, ya rasool Allah, take my night and give it to

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I'm Aisha, I'll give you my night with her. You don't have to spend the night with me. So she gave up the right of her night. It's her right. She said, I don't want to take it and give it to her. And she knew that the Profit System would like this. Now she will, he will get two nights with Aisha. So that's what happened. Nobody forced her. It's her right. So suppose she did this at the beginning, rather than the middle, everybody would, you know? So the second rule, what would they say to this? And Allah azza wa jal also says in the Quran, that if the couple thinks that they're going to split up, there is no sin on them. If they negotiate a contract between them, and you slap I know who

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Masuda there is no sin if they talk about some conditions, so that they can come back together. So if this is allowed in the middle of the contract, and the middle of the marriage, if it's allowed, after 10 years, if something happens, let's say and I know a case, for example, where you know, the wife and husband were working, and Subhan, Allah, Allah will that the husband have some type of you know, something happened and accident happened to him. So he became incapacitated and lost his job, there wasn't the land he was in, there was no benefits there. So he's now without a job. The wife took on the charge, which happened so many times, she took on the financial obligations, she began

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working, he became invalid, he could not work. So he was at home and he couldn't, he was on a wheelchair and could not work. And so she started doing the work. All the income is now on her by unanimous consent. So this is halal. Why would it be haram? So what if this agreement was done before the Nikka? Who are we to come and say that it is haram? This is what the majority say. And if somebody were to say, but hold on a sec, isn't marriage supposed to be a sacred relationship? And this notion of Miss er, it seems to cheapen that relationship, and the goal should not be the bare minimum, the goal should be a loving, fruitful marriage where everybody goes beyond what they're

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supposed to. The response to all of this is yes, you are right. That is the ideal. That's not what we're asking what is the ideal or not? What we're asking is that if two people decide they want to get involved in a different type of Nica, are you qualified? Has Allah given you the authority to come between those two and to say, if you to do this, you are living in sin? This is the technical question right? Let us leave ideal marriage to the site and let us preach the ideal marriage. And let us keep that as the default. The question now, if two people decide to not have that marriage, and they agree to a different type, and they fulfill the requirements, does the Sharia allow them to

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do so? And the response? Frankly, I have to agree with the majority that yes, that technically, it's not an ideal, you know, marriage, it's not a marriage that is going to be a loving and fruitful one generally speaking, but it is a marriage of pragmatic if you like practicality, and if two people for whatever reasons, decide that that is what they want to do, then as long as the other conditions are met. Technically, it is halal. However, that's part number one. Let me move on to part number two, because I'm not going to stop there. The marriage might technically be halal. But part number two, let us see the reality of how it pans out in an actual situation. Generally speaking, such

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marriages inevitably end in divorce, they don't last very long. Generally speaking, it is the woman who suffers much more than the man, because you see, and I have not missed my words at all. I've spoken about this very publicly, one can espouse as many modern doctrines of gender and gender equality that one chooses, but you're espousing and pontificating does not change the biological and the psychological realities lay well ASA that Gurukul on the nature of one gender, is to want companionship, and admiration and friendship and love. And when that gender gets that intimacy comes along the nature of the other gender, is to prioritize intimacy and sex and put emotions and love

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secondary. And again, I'm speaking in generalities here. So when both of these parties enter into an agreement MSCR each one of them is putting in the contract the bare minimum, what the other ones not wanting to fulfill the emotional or the other requirements that the other the other party craves, it's not in the contract, well, then it's only a matter of time where that train is going to become a train wreck and a disaster. It's only a matter of time before the steam of the engine, you know, runs out and it's not going to continue. So to reality on the ground. Technically, such a marriage might be highlighted the reality anecdotally and everybody knows this. And you can do surveys and

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studies. I haven't done one myself, but even in the world we live in I've heard of too many of these cases. Anecdotally. Almost all maybe I don't know 90% of such marriages, they end up in divorce.

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worse, they do not last for too long. So

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when we look at the lived reality of Miss er marriages, generally speaking, it becomes a disaster. And again, generally speaking, it is the woman who suffers. However, this is all general, sometimes 10% of the times it works out. And sometimes maybe even it doesn't work out. But for those five or 10 years where the mercy or marriage was happening, maybe just maybe each partner is better off with the other than if they were without the other than if they were single. So in the end of the day, yeah, I'm gonna say technically it is halal. Realistically, generally speaking, it's not going to be a fruitful marriage. It's not going to be a long term marriage, it will inevitably generally end in

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divorce. And again, generally it is the woman who will emotionally suffer more than the men. But again, all of this is generics all of this is stereotypes, Allah azza wa jal knows the future. And sometimes it does work out. I know of one case, for example, where there was a widowed lady. She was beyond the age of childbearing age, she didn't have any children, her husband had died. And she had her own business. She did not want what she said to me, a nagging husband, I don't want to nagging husband, but I want male companionship, I'm still, you know, I don't know her age at the time, but maybe she was in her 50s or something. I just want her husband to visit once in a while. And so

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here's a man. Yeah, no, he's not I don't want any money from him. He has his wife and children, and that land, polygamy was allowed. And so I don't mind, you know, once a week, twice a week, we agree, and I don't want any money from him. And as far as I know, you know, they are together and things are going as she had wanted, because that's the type of life she wanted. She didn't want to live in husband, she did not want somebody constantly with her, you know, she's happy, whatever the agreement that they agreed, and things are going on. So the point being, that we can speak in generalities, but there's always exceptions to the rule. So technically, miss your marriage is

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halal. Realistically, many of them, most of them will end up not, you know, for the best, but it doesn't make the marriage haram. And then before I move on to the next type of marriage, I also need to point out another reality. Let's not just discuss Miss er, let's discuss why Miss yard came about. Let's discuss the social conditions that allowed for such an atypical marriage to become widely accepted amongst more and more people and to get the Grand Mufti of multiple countries involved to give fatawa. Why is this happening that spinsterhood is on the rise? And again, this is a question I can't answer. I'm not a sociologist, I have not done an anthropological survey of what

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is happening. But I will tell you, and every share can attest to this, that we have a crises amongst our communities, and communities around the world have a surplus of qualified young ladies and ladies that are, you know, middle aged, whatnot that want to get married. And they are more in percentage than the qualified men on the other side who want to get married. We have a surplus of women who are looking for good and decent husbands and they're not finding them and spinsterhood is increasing. And because of this, Missy and marriage is on the rise, why is this happening? Again, much can be said here. And we can blame the men we can blame the women, perhaps the blame is on kind

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of sort of both sides. But we also have to look at changing social circumstances what is going on in the world. Once upon a time, it was extremely difficult to find a woman who was economically independent. And almost all marriages, it was expected that the woman would require a husband to take care of her. But now with gender roles and the workforce changing far more women are economically stronger. And I'm just speaking this factually, this is I'm not using it as a positive or negative, they become financially independent, they don't need a male for depending on them financially. And therefore women feel empowered via their careers. They don't need many of them even

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don't want to family, they don't want children. So they're happy, you know, or you know, they they feel they're happy the way that they are, so a part time husband might be more ideal for them. Given all of these dynamic changes, it is not surprising that the realities of marriage are also changing. And we see this even in traditional marriages and gender roles in a traditional marriage. At some point in our conversation let's move beyond Miss er whatever your position is about Miss era. We also need to discuss the changing social realities and how much of it Islam endorses and how much of Islam allows but disapproves of and how much of it is outright haram, gender and gender roles

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requires a very detailed discussion, spoken a little bit about this and other q&a

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but it is because of what is happening in the world. And because of the rise of multiple understandings and interpretations of gender and gender roles, that Misia marriage is on the rise, and we shouldn't just talk about Misia we need to talk about the social realities, that brings about Misia bottom line. As I said, technically, it is halal. But I caution those who are thinking about it, especially our sisters, I caution them, I caution them I caution them to not enter in without thinking 10 times. Because generally speaking, such a marriage will cause you emotional distress, distress, and it is going to be psychologically taxing. Think long and hard and then think long and

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hard and then think long and hard. And ask yourself if five years from now this marriage breaks up. Am I going to be okay with that if it breaks up ask yourself, ask your family and friends. Ask your close friends. Talk to them about the reality of such a situation pray istikhara understand the risks. Hope for the best. But are you prepared for the worst that is going to be about to miss your marriage? That really I cannot just like she'll always as well. Exactly. She'll always want to hear that. The popular fatwa to give would be haram haram haram this would make me popular, but I cannot make haram what the conditions are being met of halal and you can say it's not ideal. Fine. I agree

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with you. And you can say it's mcru I agree with you you can say is discouraged. I agree with you. But I cannot make it haram if they have both agreed. And I do think it is unwise but unwise doesn't make it haram. So this is the opinion that I say about Misia. Now, the other brother, I think Mohamed was his name he asks that isn't Missy are the same as Muhtar.

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And we say not at all the house Nebula The two are completely separate and distinct. There is no direct relationship between VCR and motor. Motor marriage is a type of marriage that was done in pre Islam, in which the husband and wife, they agreed to get married without the need for witnesses. There was no witness, or there was no need for witness. And they agreed for to get married for a particular timeframe, there was a time clause added to the contract. And this was typically done by travelers by business people going to community to community and they would say I'm here for one month who's going to marry me for one month and a lady would say I'll marry you for one month, you

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know for you know, 100 dinars. Okay, so for 100 dinars, I marry you for month, one that month is over immediately, then you can automatically it's like expires there's an expiry Contract Expiry date in the contract, that is what Muhtar is an expiration date within the contract. Now, Sunni Islam, all of the Sunni schools of law the shafr is Hanif is Malik is humbly even though he does all of the Sunni schools of law. They say that Mota Nica was abrogated it used to be halal in the beginning of Islam, just like drinking alcohol was Khaled in the beginning of Islam, Allah didn't make it haram then Allah made it how long this is the default position. However Twelver Shia Islam

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and also sadism fiber Shiism they do not view it as being abrogated. They think that Muhtar is still halal. And so they have it permissible in their books, so much so that it has become one of the key differences in film between Sunnis and Shia. And

00:33:26--> 00:34:13

they say that it is allowed. And so they have said that you guys allow me CR just like we allow Malta and we say to them that no, there is no comparison that mudra and Miss er agreed in one aspect and that is that there's no obligation to support and Muhtar the husband does not have to support the wife and miss out as well. That's the condition that is put. But other than that in Muhtar, there is an actual time clause. So the marriage expires when that time finishes, and Miss er does not have that time expiration. So there is no comparison between the two, by the way, so just FYI, even amongst the Twelver Shia, there's a bit of a contention about the conditions and whatnot and

00:34:13--> 00:34:52

one of the senior scholars of Twelver Shia Islam, Ayatollah Sistani, Sistani says that an unmarried lady cannot engage in Muhtar without the worry, and the will is knowledge and presence. So it's not something that is done, you know, without any witnesses, at least what you should know. So this is just FYI, that even amongst them, some of them say that the unmarried lady needs they're worthy as well. But anyway, because that is their our Sunni faith. As I said, None of the established schools have allowed this they all view this as being Mansu or abrogated. So this is the question about moving up and Michelle, and

00:34:53--> 00:34:59

some sister asked her about this the marriage that was done, that nobody knows about other than that

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to witnesses. So basically, this is a marriage that is called a secret marriage. Now, what exactly is a secret marriage. So again, it depends on how you define it. But I'm being with what the sister said. And this is that the two witnesses were present, the husband and wife obviously are married, the Woody is present, the mahute is given. So all of that is done. However, it is not made public, it's not publicized. And sometimes maybe even the Two Witnesses are told, Hey, don't tell anybody else, or the Two Witnesses are not told, but the couple does not tell other people. And so they perform their marriage in somebody's house. And there are two witnesses present. And nobody knows

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about this. This type of marriage, the majority opinion three of the format hubs say that the Nikka is valid, but the point of making it not public. So the term secret is a bit of a misnomer. It's not secretive, to people know about it that Nikka has done. So let's just say a private Nikka that is not publicized, that's a better way to put it. Because if you say secret, are you talking about only the husband wife and no witnesses, this is without a doubt not allowed, you cannot have no witnesses in an actual nigga. But if you have husband and wife and the witnesses and the worry and the the mother is given and what not. So now the conditions are met, but there is no publicity, the Hanafis

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and the Shah fairies and the Hamleys, they say that if the marriage is not publicized, but there are two witnesses the Nicca is valid, but it is mcru. And Imam Muhammad in the Matura in his madhhab says explicitly, this is the case and even so much so that even if the two witnesses are told to not tell anybody else, they said the Nicca is barely valid, but it is not bounded, it is not invalid, it is it is valid, but it is mcru. The one method that is left is the Maliki method. And the Maliki might have said that if it is not publicized, then it is not valid, it is not a marriage. And in fact, interestingly this was the position of shareholder snap Ibn Taymiyyah, as well, it maintained

00:37:14--> 00:37:58

via said, a marriage that is not publicized is not a marriage, a marriage that is not known to anybody except two people that are the witnesses and the two bride and groom. He said it is not a marriage. So if you follow the majority opinion, one would say that, that the marriage is valid. And if you follow Ibn Taymiyyah and Imam Malik, then they will say this is not a valid marriage. Now, in my own humble opinion, generally speaking, once again, secret marriages are not going to last for too long. However, there are always exceptions in which one understands why it is taking place. And I'll tell you about an incident that came to my attention where a sister came to me and she wanted

00:37:58--> 00:38:35

to marry particular brother. And we I met this brother as well. And long story short that she in fact, had a very abusive, maybe even psychotic husband, right? ex husband, the previous husband, and they were in one community. And you know, if she were to marry, she was genuinely worried about the repercussions maybe even physical, what he might do or what not. And she's like, you know, I just want to get married and not tell anybody. Can I just have the two witnesses? No, and the public is not going to be known. And I understood from the story that you know, there's a type of threat or whatnot. So I mean, you know, once in a while I understand the situation. However, generally

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speaking, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us the default elu a Nikka, make the kneecap public, make the Nikka aerelon habit, something known to people and generally speaking, let us be brutally honest here, secrecy, generally speaking, does not result in good when you are secret about these things, then generally speaking, you're going to end up you know, when more harm however, technically, technically, once again, just like the mystery of marriage, if there are two witnesses to adult Muslim witnesses, they are conscious, they know what's going on, they are there they witnessed it, then in the eyes of Allah, the Wali is there the the jaboticaba takes place in the

00:39:16--> 00:39:53

eyes of Allah, the marriage has taken place. So technically, I will side with the majority, but realistically, once again, I will say what I said with Miss era, and that is that, generally speaking, these types of marriages would be harmful in the long run from a psychological perspective. But if the two witnesses are there, then this marriage is valid. And as for the last point of Zawada, orthofeet. And our brothers saying he has read a fatwa from Al Azhar that it is halal. Firstly, what is the word trophy? This is again, a modern terminology. This one is not coming from Saudi Arabia, this was coming from Egypt. So Miss yar emanated from Saudi Arabia or free comes

00:39:53--> 00:40:00

from Egypt. And this is again, a modern phenomenon maybe 20 years ago, 30 years ago again, and there are two times

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Pacific roofing marriages are the words or odfi. One of them is the one that as HUD has allowed. And the other one, no scholar, as far as I'm aware has ever allowed this on Earth. So it is not allowed. You have to be very careful when you say the word God. It's not a filthy terminology. It's a modern terminology. What is Zawada odfi Zawada autofeed is Section A, section B, part one, part two, two types, the first type, so why would your auto feed is that you're living in a land. And for whatever reason, you do not want to register your marriage with the civil authorities of that land. So you do the Nikka publicly in the masjid, in a hall in a banquet, invite your friends and family, you do the

00:40:42--> 00:41:19

whole NIC ceremony, everything. But you just don't go to the court. And you don't register with the government. And you don't put your name in the book or registers and in the marriage, civil, you know, federal, whatever it might be, for whatever reason, tax purposes or whatever reason, you just don't register with the government, Muslim government, non Muslim government doesn't matter. This is version one of zohydro fee, and as her fatwa Council, and pretty much every scholar in the world is going to say, well, not every scholar, the vast majority will say such a marriage is halal. Now, whether it's wise to not register with the government, that's a separate issue. And I will say the

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default should be you should register with your government with your authorities. But in the eyes of Allah de Nica has been done. And it is valid, whether you register or not, is not a condition of the of this award that you register with your local authorities. So us how to search for counsel said, even if you don't register with the Egyptian authorities, in the eyes of Allah, you have done this, or watch, this is what they have said. Now, the second type of Zojirushi is completely bought in. And I am not aware of any reputable scholar that has allowed this that type of ZBrush or Olfi, it became common amongst the university students of Cairo or Egypt back in the 90s, and 2000s. And that

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was basically a boyfriend and girlfriend, they tell their own immediate circle of friends that, hey, we're going to exchange our wedding vows, and we're going to get married. And you guys know, but nobody else needs to know about this. And there's no weddy and there's no matter. And sometimes even the witnesses are not going to be to adult Muslim males. So maybe even some of her friends might know. So there is no question that that type of marriage when there's no one and there's no mother, and there's no two adult male witnesses, there is no question that that type of nigga is bow still bow till about it. This is just two people playing with the term Nikka you cannot have a nigga

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between two people with if they just agree to it in a private room, or if they're with any group of strangers and nobody is present and no mahute is given, this is not a nigger, this is a play. And this is a play that is using the Shediac term for something that Allah has made sacred, you are making a joke out of it. That type of zwaar geography is simply not as a watch, even if they call it so large, there is no Nikka without a job and abou without the worry for the previously unmarried ladies. And by the way, those sisters who talk about that some of them got irritated that I put the willie this is exactly why that if you open this door, an unmarried lady, you know what is going to

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happen, you know for for the reality of this world that we live in, men will take advantage of her and she is going to suffer. And that's why I said a previously unmarried lady, the way it is a requirement once she has been married. And once she knows what it is like to be married to a man. And she has a sense of what it is because the reality is that, you know I'm sorry to say this so bluntly, but two men are not the dignified, decent noble characters are many of them that they should be and men will prey on and take advantage of vulnerable women emotionally, they will take advantage of them. So the word comes in to keep men in check. It is not insulting to the women, it

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is actually saying women are innocent women are very pure, and to protect them that when he comes in and says no, we're going to raise the bar. So when you remove the Willie, and you have boyfriend, girlfriend, relationships and they amongst their own so what happens what I heard happening, I've never lived in Egypt, but basically groups of boyfriends and girlfriends would tell one another Hey, US tour a couple Utah a couple you tour a couple and they will call this the Y geography. This is our watch. This is our customers award. We don't need the marriage. We don't need any chef present. Well, they don't need a chef, as I said, but they need the conditions of the Nikka none of the

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conditions are met. Or I should say the majority of conditions are not met. How is this a watch? That type of the watch is simply not allowed. And I'm not aware of any mainstream scholar that has allowed it. So to summarize that today's q&a dealt with miscellaneous types of marriages that are not the ideal marriage and we said as long as

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The Archon are met. So, the Arcana have mentioned them and that is that the potential husband and wife are both qualified to get married and that they have agreed to get married. And if she is previously unmarried, the Wali will be present and agreeing, or at least his representative will be present and the mud is there and two witnesses are there, if this is done, this is the bare minimum of a valid Nikka. Other than this, if other conditions are put, then as long as both partners really are aware, and they understand, you can disagree from an emotional and a wisdom perspective, but you cannot use the word haram you cannot bring in Allah and His messenger and say, Allah has forbidden

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you to to come together. No, we cannot do that. If those conditions are met, then the Nicca will be valid, it might not be wise and I'll be the first to say Nikka MSCR, generally speaking, is not a wise Nikka. And the quote unquote, private Nicaea generally speaking, is not a wise nigger, it is simply not going to work out that way. I'll be the first to say this, but if the both agree, and that's what they want, or for whatever the reasons might be, who are we to stop them the Sharia has allowed with that bare minimum skeletal version. And if that's what they choose to do, well, then so be it and they will have to bear the positives and the negatives. And in the end of the day, some

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marriages are functional marriages, some marriages are quid pro quo, you know, for whatever reason, the two of them find benefit in their circumstance to come together in that manner. And the sharing has allowed them not every marriage is a fairy tale, you know, what type of marriage and so be it we have to be practical to share er has allowed this and the Sharia makes the other one the goal, Let us teach the goal, let us make that the default Let us teach our children that but let us also be wise enough to realize that not everybody can have that default and sometimes it is better for some exceptional circumstances to negotiate and to come to the table with a different understanding and

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as long as the other partner also wants that understanding, then perhaps Perhaps it is better for the two of them to live together even if it is for a few years without any sin and have some comfort with one another even if they parted ways later on then to be single for that period of time. And Allah azza wa jal knows best until next week, Jack Milaca said Anwar rahmatullahi wa barakato

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in metal Mussolini now almost Lima Do you want to know meaning I will not mean it will quantity now look on it? The more saw the pain I was saw the bond the one saw the Rena was sabe Irati one before she you know before she

00:47:43--> 00:47:58

wouldn't call Shireen. I want to call she I think one downside BP now one downside the party was on me now was all in.

00:48:00--> 00:48:07

Wouldn't have you Lena fold over gentlemen. One half of what he was getting along, I guess.

00:48:08--> 00:48:12

What's going on? I don't know who

00:48:17--> 00:48:18

Eileen