Channel: Yaser Birjas
Surah An-Noor, an example of Family Etiquette 24:58-61 – This talk was delivered at the Valley Ranch Islamic Center.
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grameena salatu salam
ala alihi wa salatu salam, ala Sleeman kathira mama bird. So the first eurocard that we have, we prayed, we listen to the end of surah, Surah
Surah to know many, many elements of sere, they call it pseudo Allah. Basically it's the surah represents the family etiquette. It represents a lot of the etiquettes of the community and particularly family etiquette. Specifically what we heard tonight, Allah subhanho wa Taala teaching us few of these family beautiful family etiquette that we need to observe, and us as parents responsible to teach our children and deliver to our children's world vanilla xojo. So the first rule that Allah subhanaw taala mentioned what we heard in this citation, about seeking permission, you know, when you knock on the door, before you enter a room, I mean, in this society in this
culture, who cares about permission anyway? Who cares about decency, revenue and the
law and marriage and hire? Like, who cares about us a few people somehow still care about these issues. But a lot of people they lost that sense of higher sense of modesty. They lost that and as a result, of course, the kids don't care. I mean, they see it on TV anyway. So why would they care about seeking permission before they enter their parents room and so on? So lots of Hannah was teaching us that we are responsible to teach our kids these are flocking is Adam Carlota Bhagavata Allah Yeah, you hola Dina Amano de esta bien como La Nina Malika, a man who come
from I mean, come to Lhasa Murat, Allah Sterling, us all you who believe that you are servants, and those who did not reach the age of puberty of your children, like your kids, your little kids who did not reach the age of puberty, let them seek permission before they enter your private room. Let them see permission from you three times by three times, specifically of the day and the night. These are particular three times. Meaning these are the most intimate moments between a husband and wife between between father and mother that the kids should not be exposed to and the kids should learn to give their parents privacy during this particular time.
He says men published a lot in Surgeon General Donna theorbo acuminata hero, badger salata, Sha, Allah, Allah Telecom, the three our three times will you be exposed, therefore make sure that your kids they seek permission from you what are these times the first one before
the second one hayneedle the owner theorbo acuminata hero when you come to your kulula to nap during the day now because of the corporate world most of us don't take that nap boss it basically but you know traditional white households and and family structure and so on a lot of people they come during noon time to take their break, so that they can nap after they eat. And also he said or embodies a lot Russia and right after Russia. He said our telecom these are the times where the our are most likely to be exposed. Obviously before federal, you know what, maybe the parents were intimate during the night. So they might be exposed during overtime. You know what, it's too hot,
you can relax a little bit. They have some of the clothes right. And after Russia also probably the time to be intimate. kids would wake up they don't care they come in addition to the door.
So therefore Allah subhanaw taala is ordering us parents to teach our children before you enter mommy's room before they enter that his room. You make sure to knock on the door
and he will say knock on the door doesn't mean to knock and open the door.
No we teach them you knock on the door and you wait to be permitted and allowed to come in
teach your children this other remember this other this etiquette was mentioned in the Quran. Allah subhanho wa Taala cares about us to the extent that we he's teaching us how to be responsible in teaching our kids how to be you know, you know how to how to behave in the household in the house. So that's the first etiquette and is teaching us of Hana de la sala de la comme les Salah Kumara, whom Jonathan Bowden, our funada come after these three intimate times it's okay. Like during the day, when you're most likely awake, it's fine. They don't have to, but it's fine until they reach the age of puberty
until they reach the age of puberty. Allah subhanaw taala says
follow moon kumala hilum folia steady Luca mustard and levena Goblin when they reach the age of puberty, that's it. They're now adults, they need to seek permission at all time.
At all times, Mommy, Daddy or home before you enter the house. Even if you're coming from outside. Let's say you have a teenager for example. Or you have a son or a daughter. They're coming. They're coming from work. They come in from college from school, they have a key to the house or the garage door. That doesn't mean they just simply open the door and just gone.
Come in. No, they need to also seek permission. Remember, it's their house. You know, we can deliver their right their parents house, but there's still the responsible. They're supposed to ask permission, meaning during the bill,
if they actually the etiquette is that you knock on the door or open the door. And before you get in, you say out loud, Salaam Alaikum. Because back in the day, they didn't have proper doors for each room. They didn't have that. So the way people seek permission is by Allah by saying out loud, they say a Salaam Alaikum outlawed Salaam Alaikum. And if you don't, if they don't hear walaikum salam, repeat that three times.
So you have to reach them that before you get into the house, even if you open the door, you need to make sure that you alert the people in the house. What if the mother for example, she's in a kitchen, she's cooking? It's too hot, let's say and she might be, let's say dressed in a way that they might not see. It shouldn't be shouldn't be seeing it. So therefore they actually alert this etiquette is even mentioned the Quran, Allah is teaching us how to teach our kids to behave, you know, also without their parents, so your younger children who did not reach the age of puberty, they're responsible to seek permission during those specific intimate times. But once there is a
puberty, they need to seek permission at all time. They knock on the door, and they say Salaam Alaikum. Can I come in? If they were say if they were told no. It means no. And if they are told, come on in, then they are allowed to come in. Teach them the other teaching the etiquette so they learn that there is something called modesty, something called higher, and they need to learn that. And then Allah subhanho wa Taala spoke about the the older woman, Alcala de minimis Allah electronica, those women who reached a certain age, you know, way past the menopause. And now they don't have any kind of, you know, anticipation for marriage, maybe they reach their age. So they're
therefore they don't have that kind of, you know, they're not looking to get married afterwards. So they want to just live a life of very bad, social, peaceful social life and so on. Allah subhanho wa Taala, allow these women and you're done as the album, you're
there to do their job, they're allowed to take it easy on themselves with regard to the hijab. However, still, one your staff is not alone, or even if they have their effort to keep maintaining the hijab, that's better for them. What's the meaning of this older women to take it easy, you know, with the hijab, that doesn't mean to remove it completely and go to the salon view, the beauty salon, for example, and have their Haryana died and walk out the streets, you know, what the hot pink, you know, lipsticks and all that stuff? No, we're not talking about that. We're not talking about the not even midlife crisis, that's an life crisis. No, we don't mean that. What we mean by
this is basically what is normally known, you know, it's hard for them to maintain because of the weather, the heat, the condition, you know, the power, maybe their heavy, heavy movement, and so forth. So it's okay, if the hijab is just wrapping it over their heads, and if it falls off, it's okay for them, for example, the hair comes out, but obviously, that's for the very older women.
We're not talking about, you know, if you say at 40, or even 50, probably, maybe they're not yet Alcoa dominionism. So we're talking about those actually certain age, they don't have a desire for marriage afterwards. For instance, in this case, they are allowed actually to take reason themselves with regard to the rules of hijab shallow terracotta. The last thing I want to mention here is the ayah Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks about that was the era it this is Ramadan, a lot of people have been fighting each other for afar. So Allah subhanho wa Taala is teaching us a valuable lesson over here in regards to the etiquette of
the family gathering in regards to dinners and gathering around the food and so on. He said Lisa alaikum Lisa, Allah Maharaja Walla
Walla Allah embassy loss of Hannah waters says there is no there is no blame. There is no blame on an AMA ultimate means the blind but the lame the person the one who
has disability basically that's the meaning of it represented disabilities and then we'll marry someone who's ill. Now what does it mean exactly? Allah says all these people including you there is no blame on you and ally mentioned even that that you eat from the house from your houses the house of your parents, is your father's your mother's then you said your brothers your sisters, you mentioned your uncle's your parent, paternal uncles, your maternal aunts and then you're
actually paternal and maternal again and then he says and any house that you own the keys for which means your houses and also he says pinata was actually also your friends. It's okay for you to eat in their houses. Which means of the invite to overview go to their houses, it's okay like basic Allah say, it is alright to share meal together. It's alright that you eat together. But then
What's the point then of Allah subhanho? wa Taala bringing people with disabilities at the beginning of this ayah? Why is he saying there's no harm on the blind? On the one who has certain disabilities live in chronic disease or illness and so forth? what's the what's the Why would he mentioned this at the beginning? Why because in the, in the in the culture of that society back then, if anyone has this ability, is they're completely ignored and neglected.
And they don't, they're not even part of the society. And Allah Subhana, Allah has commanded us and ordering us to take care of those who are less fortunate in this society, those who have been tested with certain disability, we've been ordered to bring them to become part of the mainstream.
And that's why Subhanallah the societies are measured, by the way they take care of the weakest link among themselves. And if we don't maintain if we don't care if we don't actually prepare the facility, for example, our messages, our homes, our schools, for anyone with disability, it means we're not caring for them. We're not caring about them and a loss of how then this is commanding us to take care of them and these social gatherings to include them to become part of the mainstream.
He says subhanho wa Taala lista alikum junan Taku Jamie on our Stata, it's all right, no blame if you want to eat you can eat together, or you can eat separately. What does that mean? Whether you put the food together and you eat on the same plate, like in some traditional gatherings, or what many people they do, they go accidents open buffet, you're going to collect for yourself you have your own plate and you eat from your own plate. It's okay. That was also mentioned the Quran Can you imagine?
even open buffet was mentioned the Quran
the etiquette of how to eat how to present the food. When you have gathered you have people around you. So the Quran is careful about teaching us the major and the minor of us Latin etiquette under loving our boss or the law of the land, he asked he was asked about the meaning of the other Emraan Well, I can Khun Rabbani and everyone can come to alumina kita
soon, but you as orlimar become Robin in become like like we said the author of Bernie like rabbis in the Jewish tradition actually are banned in the Obama he was asked what's the meaning of Parliament Rabbani, a scholar who is Rob Bernie like coming from the Lords of Hannah wattana he says that Bernie is the one who teaches people see Laurel lm kubla kebari darlin Rabbani director, great scholars, the one who begins with people, begins with the, with the basics, before we get into the major things, basic etiquette. So part of the basic etiquette is really learning these things that we take them sometimes for granted, like how to enter the house, how to eat with whom you eat, who
should come to visit your house, or who should you visit, all these things, Pamela, they mentioned the Quran, how even to handle and take care of those who are less fortunate in our society. Those have been tested with certain disability for example, we're responsible, we're responsible to make sure that they come into the fact that the family and the community as becoming part of the mainstream, we shall have the bollock order so melodica some of those listen to the speech and for the rest of it are Bellamy like Kamala Harris and America haematologica