Balancing Work, Home & Ibadah – Preparing for Ramadan 2021
Channel: Yahya Ibrahim
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We always begin by sending our parents a feast upon
Allah. We ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to nature from those who are fortunate to receive the Shabbat or the intercession of our father from Allah.
judgments that bind the favor of a loss of title with the honor of accepting the middle do that
That we are fortunate enough to earn the mercy of a lot though again, and that it shows itself in our media from the law, it will send them counting not amongst the followers. And we pray that the loss of Allah makes us from those who are able in sha Allah, to pass through
the numerous difficulties that we experience in life, that we can find a place and a time to be new to a lot of
our commitments in our worship, I first wish to acknowledge
Mineola, and the family
for inviting me along and asked me to hold
a Malaysian family discussion.
So it's always wonderful to connect with my dear brothers and sisters, in Malaysia in particular, but also beyond. And I pray that a loss of kindness allows us to have our hearts gathered together in this light, but that we gathered together also in our commitment, and in our submission to the tradition
topic that was chosen by our dear sister was balancing work.
And I wanted to begin with the word balance is a very important word about COVID. So often,
now, the concept of balance for us as Muslims is the concept of remaining upon the format. So really, the best translation for the word is Department of Applied.
You know, when we translate with suffering, we say Oh Allah, those who are applied for or CRM is to be spending so much in expanding but in a balanced way, that you're not moving to the right, you're not moving to the left, you're not going off one side and you're not making a dent in the other.
It becomes important for you and I consider,
it becomes important for you and I to consider our relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala.
I'm hearing seeing some of the comments saying that there's a little bit of noise let me know if that's still there in sha Allah.
One of the issues that relates to ista karma is for us to remain not just upright, but also balanced in the middle. And Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us in Surah, Al Baqarah, that one of the descriptions and sort of Allah imraan in different places in the portal on that Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us that Jana Come on mutton wasaga I destined you to be an oma that is rightly balanced in the middle, that you are upon a middle course we are upon a middle path, we are in a way that is not going to the right not going to the left not going beyond the limit set or the balance that has been made for us by Allah subhanahu wa Tada.
So balance becomes really important. When we speak of a balance, we're speaking about three important types of balance. The first type of balance is that we remain upright, even when the conditions around us change. So it's easy if you and I are standing on firm ground to remain standing upright, the ground isn't shaking, it's not moving. I'm not going to tip over because the carpet has been pulled from under my feet. I'm on solid ground. But what happens of course in life is that Allah Subhana Allah to Allah He tells us that as happened with the prophets before us the companions of the prophets before us, Allah subhanho wa Taala says that I caused the earth between
beneath them to shake and the drought of the prophets has always been a banner sambit akademin one sadhana Allah Coleman, Catherine, Oh Allah, keep our feet firm. What is this about keep our feet for meaning that when life shakes when illness occurs when loss of income happens when there's a loved one who is unwell when the circumstances in life are not the way we want them to be. We always ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bring us firmness, and steadfastness and uprightness. The second type of balance is that if we see ourselves going off to one side, that we learned that we need to throw our way to the other side to counterbalance it. So if you have fallen into an error, the way to
counteract it is to do more good deeds that cancel out the scenes. So a lot teaches us about counter balancing in life by saying in Al Hassan RT, your hipness or your ad, your good deeds are what can
cancel out, change eliminate, extinguish wipe out erase your sinful deeds. Valley Kathy Crawley. Corinne, that is a reminder for those who wish to remember. And therefore this is something that's a constant memory that you and I should have, we should always come back to this, that Allah subhana wa tada wants you and I, to know that we will make mistakes, we will go over one side we will be either too far or too negligent in different issues in life, whether you can recall exactly. And what's important is to remember to come back to the other perspective, that if you went into error, the cancelling of the error is to do good deeds in its place. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam says to more other than the devil in the famous Hadith, we're at very say at aloha Sen. tiempo, her follow up your mistake with a good deed, the good deed will cancel out the same. The third type of balance that is important is credit and debit.
Sometimes we're spending more than we're earning. Sometimes we're spending people's love for us more than we're earning love and respect through them. Sometimes we're burning each other out by asking others what we are not willing to give by requesting from others what we are not providing by being negligent in our dealings with others, while expecting them to be complete in their dealings with us. And of course, life is not meant like that you cannot be a person who is a taker and expect others to just simply give give give give, you must be a person who is willing to give as much as you are willing to take and the more you give is better than to be somebody who is taking from
others. And all of us of course we have had this interaction with somebody who is wanting to receive more than they are willing to give. And Allah speaks in particular about households and families and loved ones where Allah subhanaw taala says between a husband and wife, her nanny bathroom, let them walk into the bathroom learn that they are like garments to you as you are garments to them. When a hooded me through leather Allah hinda Bill maruf to them is what you request of them, that there is an equity and a parity and a completeness in our relationship so that there is no imbalance and power struggles that are unnecessary in the household and in the relationships that we seek to make
more positive than negative. So that word balance becomes really important. In fact, it is the first day you make an order and you say it did not sell autonomous stuff in our law leaders Guide us to the straight path, the balanced path as serata mustafina is the path that law is brought out of free will to free it It isn't something where you were excessive or negligent. It is in one where you are taking more than giving it is in one where you are falling down rather than being upright and standing at attention for the needs of others. So balance is the essence of our faith. As a Muslim. Your aim is to find balance. Your aim is to find equity. Your aim is to find justice. How do you
define justice for us as Muslims what is hikma for a Muslim? It's wild but what are shaped your family to put everything in its place. not to go too far. Not to speak too much not to be too shy, not to be too conservative, overly concerned, hyper conservative, don't go too extreme, but not to be negligent, that you forget that you forget the obligations and the necessities that has been ordered upon us by Allah subhana wa Tada.
So balance becomes a major issue. It's interesting to note that in the title you know, we immediately began by speaking about work, balancing work home and a bad day. And it's interesting kind of noting that usually a bad that comes at the end and work comes at the beginning right? And I could see system when you know Mashallah she's amused by this. It's obviously not her and not her intent. But it's a good segue to kind of understand that Allah says this in the Quran. You know, Allah subhana wa to Allah, He speaks to us about our pursuit, as being something that is a primary objective in our life. And how can we check out though we do become distracted by trying to gather
our wealth by trying to go out to work and earn in holiday? We're not speaking you know, it's not a bad thing. But don't let it come that it is out of balance that it becomes a distraction to your life. And Allah Subhana Allah says, Xena leanness hope Boucher, Hawaii, Mina Nisa, he will benina will find out to you in more control. These are beautiful things in life. Allah tells us in total tell El Cap which we recited today in the first in the ninth verse, Allah subhanho wa Taala says
Jimena manage all of these in Atlanta, that I built and I created this earth so that it is a source of beauty, Lena bloom, so that they will be tested by the beauty. And I want you to kind of think, you know, anything beautiful in your life becomes your test anything you esteem anything you hold in value, that is going to be your greatest test in life. Because those are the things that you must counteract the imbalance that desire to get more to go further to delve deeper to hoard for yourself, what others may not be able to access.
And therefore work is an important the prophets I send them says in authentic hadith, elementary Bertha, being engaged in work to earn that which is lawful, so that you can spend it upon your home and your family and keep them in that which is lawful, is something that is a beautiful thing. It is something that is a bad that it is an act of worship with a loss of Hannah who want to honor and we pray that Allah Subhana Allah allows us to be from those who are worshipping him in that sense that we are cognizant of our relationship with Allah, that we are careful in our dealings and your what you do for work and how you approach your work environment is literally something that ensures your
longevity as a believer or can become a source of detriment and hardship for you. In life. We pray that Allah Subhana Allah to Allah protects us from being of those who are negligent in life, Allah who are mean towards others, we pray that Allah Subhana Allah does not test us and make our fitna in the matters that are of our Deen and we pray that Allah subhana wa tada assists us in all that is good, and all that is worthy and worthwhile, of our love and our fidelity in our relationships with each other. So work is one of those things that can become a major distraction in life, it can lead us down a good path, or it can become a problem for us if we invest ourselves in it, at the
detriment and at the, at the
at the expense of other things that we should have balance in it.
Work of course, is something that is subjective and varied between one person and another. And there are there is a difference between work where you are working for an income and work where it's something that you are earning as an act of volunteerism towards others I'm ill is always something that requires energy and anything that you put energy towards is considered I met within our capacity as Muslims.
The greatest IML is the one that prophets you in the next life as well as this life. And Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran wa kuliah mailloux say to them work for sal Allahu I'm an echo. Allah is witness of what it is that you do what you bring into creation, from your deeds, from your sweat, from your energy, from your action, from your movement from your thoughts, right? You are ordered by Allah to work. And when people ask the prophets I send them they said yah rasulillah if everything's kind of decided, why should we do anything? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam simply says everybody will do what is written for them. So if you sit there and do nothing, then
you're just fulfilling that as your aim in life. You you that's that's who you are. You're not somebody who's ambitious, who's willing to go out. I heard something from an Imam Shafi, annelle, Eman Malik, and now I'm speaking to a Malaysian audience Mashallah through zoom with our sister. So you have to quote le mama Shafi every so often Masha Allah, so Allah mama Shafi.
He was a student of Imam Malik al Imam Shafi was mentored by the great mom of Allah sooner than a mom of El Medina, la youth our Malik confirmed Medina nobody could speak and give a religious instruction, an addict and verdict if Malik is there and present to be able to answer so the mammas shafia Ulema Malik and this is something that, you know, I received today as, as an Instagram message from our brother I model a shoukry. May Allah reward him for it.
He translated this discussion between the mathematically mammy Shafi and the man Malik remember Shafi they were discussing one of the Hadith of the Prophet SAW Selim narrated by Lima telemovie, where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said lo and netcomm that were killed to Malala hepatoma kuli. If you trusted Allah and had resilience in your reliance upon Allah, the way birds have a resilience and a reliance upon Allah. They go
out in the morning seeking the rays from Allah, and they never come home except that their stomach is full. There's always something that has given them something good something blessed in their life. And Mr. Maliki interpreted that whether you go out or not, Allah will provide your risk no matter where you are, and remind me shaffir interprets it in the opposite direction. He says no, the birds actually put in the work, they go out, they fly out in search of food. So Allah gives them the tofield to get what it is that they need. I remember Shafi then wanted to demonstrate his knowledge early my Malik, so he went out to the field, he climbed up one of the trees, he brought down a
bushel of his date, he put in the energy to earn a day's work, he was out in the farm, he came back home and gave us le my Malik, he says, I went out and Allah gave me the rules of earning this income, I earn these date. And therefore I you know, like the birds, I have to go out and work to receive it. And then he ate one date. And then only my Malik, he took one date from him and ate it. And he said also me Allah sent my risk to me, although I didn't work for it. And both wedge of the Hadeeth are valid, both understandings are valid. We take that from a Hadith of the prophets, I send them where and I want you to kind of think about this hadith in whatever work capacity you're going
to do and whatever is going to engage you in life memorize this hadith. The Prophet I said Lem said lo and napanee Adam yahara boomin. Recently, he came out yahara luminol, Mount Lau Saba who risco Kabbalah melty, if a human being if the son of Adam, try to escape the risk Allah set for them. If you try to get away from receiving what Allah has said, you will have, your risk will arrive to you before your death, even though you try to escape it the way you tried to escape death. All of us we tried to escape we eat too, so that we live we drink so that we remain hydrated. We go to the doctor, when we're ill we try to look after ourselves and have a good, long prosperous life. All of
that is to escape death. And if we put in that same energy to try to escape our risk, Allah will make us taste and receive a risk before death arrives to us, which is inevitable, your risk is inevitable. And therefore in your mind, my dear brother, I want you to know that work can be an act of very bad that if you are seeking that which is Helen, so that you can fulfill the needs of yourself, your family and others as an act of charity, it becomes not just halal for you, but it becomes an act of a bad day. And therefore, the balance of your work becomes a part of your Nia number two, our home life Subhana Allah we have a volume and volume has complaints, especially in
our modern times similar
in our times, because of egalitarian kind of principles that have entered into Islamic societies and other modern economic systems, where there is the expectation of a dual income, husband and wife need to go out and earn and the prophets I send them predicted this prophets I send them said letter Kumu said the day of gentlemen shall not arrive had that that hotel model to Isla Asuka to arraign was to her until a woman is forced to leave her home, to go out and work in the marketplace so that she can be in the assistance of her husband. Her husband is not able to meet the needs of the family on his own. Although it is meant to be a religious duty.
It's a religious duty upon the husband to earn that which is within the economic means of the society you live in to sustain one's household, one's wife, one's children, one's father and mother and so on. But the prophets I send him says the economic systems are going to change people are going to need to have that dual and there's precedent of the origin of our sisters going out to work when there's a need in the two daughters of which is likely Shall I evali. His sedan who one of them becomes the wife of musasa for rhodiola, who I now recommend to lie they had the wife of Mousavi has Salaam. Allah says in Surah Al cosas ferwerda dahmen dooney him a moral attorney to do Danny.
He found amongst the people of meridian two women who had a large flock Paula Malhotra buco now what's what's Why are you here Paul letter Lana's, they had to use their own. Why buena Shea from cabbie. We're not going to go and mix with these men. We can take our flock until these people leave. And our father is an elder he is not able to work. So we are the ones who are working. So we know from ancient times from modern times that
The permissibility, the likelihood is there. And therefore the work home environment, it has always been one that was meant to find balance in it in according to the means and what is necessary for the blessedness to permeate in the home, there is no ideal structure, there's no, there's no lecture that I can give and say, This is the model, you need to feel fit in this circle, you need to be a part of this square, you have to fit in this. And that's it. That's the only way you can work this many hours, you can do this kind of job, no, there are always going to be various different kind of considerations that every household has. It has its own secrets, it has its own needs. It has its
own concerns, and it has its own
elements of fulfillment. So the issue between work and home becomes a pinch point. In many relationships, where on the one hand, there is the desire to be able to live comfortably. And yet, it's not meant to be at the expense of being with each other comfortably. And SubhanAllah. When it comes to balance, the balance that is set the teacher taught her that we are on is what is best for the relationship and building the positive attitude and the positive relationships in the home. Most people of course, that they are concerned with the lifestyle choices, and they are concerned with what is more important. Do I really need that material level in my life? Do I really need to have a
larger home than I live in? Do I need to upgrade my car? Or is it okay for another two years? How much of a savings do we need? What are the type of brands that we must have? That needs to be outweighed with the positivity of relationships and positive types of interactions that are found in the home.
Third, we wanted to introduce the concept of very bad, the loss of one on one to Allah has made our purpose in life clear. See, there are two words that are important but people conflate together, and they are not meant to be together. They are one as a byproduct of the other but they're not the same. One of them is purpose and the other is meaning. What is the meaning of my life?
is what allows me to have purpose in my life. So when you sit and ponder, what is the meaning of my existence, why am I here? What is the purpose of yahia Ibrahim being a part of this world in this era? What is my role in my family, in my home, in my community, in my school, in my mosque, in my society, in my extended family in my what what what what am I and who am I to them and to myself? And of course you know Shakespeare To be or not to be right? You know, Socrates and Plato Know thyself. What is the pert? Why am I here? What is the what? What is my meaning in this world? In that in understanding your meaning, you then begin to develop your purpose. And Allah subhanho wa
Taala answers both questions for us. He tells us that the purpose of our meaning of being here, Lena Balu, home, are you home accent or amateur, that you come to know which of us within us is living the best life that they can live not in comparison to others. I return you to that idea in Surah alkaff in Nigeria, on an auto, the zenith and lahat Lena Balu, home au home accent or Amira I've given them beauty in their life as a test for them. The beauty that they experience is a test for them, as to which will do the best of work with the beauty that they've been given with the life that they've been given. So Pamela what I have in life is not what you have in life. And I may may
be favored in one thing and you are favored in two other things. And there are things that I have that you are deprived from and many things you have that I'm deprived from, and I am not going to be judged in accordance to how I live my life compared to how you live your life. Because that which beautifies Your life is different to that which beautifies my life that which you have been given as a hurdle is different to what I have been given as a hurdle. And in your life. Your test is how well you live with the life you've been given. This is how we understand some of those complex hudy that seemingly are easy to
You know that it's a it seems like a short video, but it's so profound. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said that a woman of the night May Allah protect all of our our women, Allah I mean, a woman who would give herself over for profit. She saw a dog on the side of the road that was painting from thirst. So she gave it water when other people walked by, didn't give it anything. For shakar Allah hula, on account of this, Allah showed her acceptance for for Allah Matta fact them in them behind, and Allah for gave all of the scenes of her past I want you to pay attention to she gave water to an animal to a dog on the side of a road. She's a woman who was committing the haraam,
and Xena and all these other things that we might describe. But that act of giving a dog water was enough to be thankful for the beauty she had seldom experienced in life. She had a life where she was abused as a young child, she escaped home and every man every role model in their life took advantage of her. Every experience in her life was negative, the very far and wide and short moments of beautification were small that as a consequence of her redeeming herself, it was just a sip of water to an animal. Her life is judged by her measure, by her yardstick, her success is in her life lived, not in my life lived and had to Pamela she'd been given my life or your life, she would have
exceeded would have done better than the life you and I live. But she was given a life where the beauty of it was smaller or lesser or different quality than the beauty You and I have. So when I miss a prayer, it's not like somebody else misses a prayer, when you have been given luxury in excess, and you are not thankful to Allah. It is not like somebody who has been deprived and in poverty and in hardship, who has not been as thankful to Allah as you. Everybody is in according to the means of the beautification, and the ease and the discomforts that they've been given in life. And that becomes a very profound motivation for worship.
I had one sister in a counseling session, similar.
She said to me, Chef,
my husband, I have to force him to pray.
He doesn't pray any of the sooner he barely does the sauna. What barely, you know, I have to keep after him. And Subhanallah I tried to show a good example, I wake up for the night prayers. I tried to wake him up, he doesn't wake up.
He doesn't wake up
Subhanallah the he doesn't want to wake up doesn't want to fulfill the act of a bada.
He doesn't want to fulfill the good deeds that I'm doing. And I said to her sister, Mashallah, May Allah increase you in good? May Allah allow you to continue to do your night prayers into fast as you've said, and all these wonderful things. But how do you know that his worship of Allah is not better than yours?
What makes you assume that his worship has to be the type of worship you do, maybe his patience, in dealing with some of the mistakes you make is a better act of worship. Maybe his smile to somebody that he meets who is upset is an act of worship that can exceed some of the actions that you've done that are personal between you and Allah, maybe his Southern or that He has given at a time that he had need or that was something that you didn't fulfill, that you may have underestimated in amount but was done with a generous generosity and spirit of heart, perhaps that is more accepted by Allah, than the moment that you've made your than the moment of your nine prayers. What makes you assume
that you're a bad that has to be of the same kind as his a bad, what makes you assume that they're a bad that which may be of a different nature is not the same as something that is worthy of Allah's consideration, one of the great imams of the past.
And this is a powerful, powerful statement and I want you to kind of think about this statement of these great imams.
It is meant to center you and I in a place where we can
kind of think maturely about our place, our role, our attitude and our existence in our relationship with Allah. One of the great imams of the Shafi madhhab is Alabama Shirazi. And you know Alabama nawawi explains his his book and much more. I remember Shirazi
his son stayed awake with him at night and they were praying their salah
and everybody around them all of the different homes around them. Nobody woke up, you couldn't hear the Quran being recited in their homes. His son says to him, he said, Subhan Allah,
not even a single person woke up to prayer to Raka at night.
And his father Lee man, the great Imam, he said, It would have been better for you to remain asleep like them my son then for you to have spoken negatively about them. And a lot.
All of your night, you thought you were worshipping Allah and doing your activity by them. And you ruined it by just that one word where you thought about others, that they're bad that is not worthy of yours. Perhaps them being quiet and being and sleeping was better than you waking up and thinking your Salah is more Mert, virtuous, more of merit than other people
and Imam and the great halifa, the fifth of the whole efa as some people have referred to murmur, Abdelaziz, the great great grandson of Mr. Manohar thought. He said, We lived in a time where the righteous people
considered righteousness not that you fasted every day, or that you prayed every night, but that you held your tongue from speaking about others in an ill way. It is better for a person to hold their tongue from speaking bad about others as an act of worship, than to fast by day and pray by night Subhan Allah bl Allah, how far we have kind of strayed from these great important understandings of what it means to be a worshipper of Allah. So I wanted to speak about worship in the month of Ramadan As a conclusion of our session. So we can leave a little bit of time for questions and answers in sha Allah.
In the month of Ramadan, which is soon to come, you want to cover three types of worship, okay, just to make it easier. One type that is known only to you and Allah Subhana Allah, I want you to kind of think of something that you can do, that you hold valuable that nobody on the face of the earth other than you and Allah is aware of nobody but you on earth knows this act of everybody except you. And it might be that you have a little bit of savings that you get from it in charity that your husband your wife doesn't know that your father your mother are unaware, it might be that you prepare and buy a meal for someone and put it in the masjid or that you give the masjid for their if
third program. Nobody knows who you are. It's not a measure you pray in and you send money into it so that nobody knows who you are. It might be that you join a charity program, that you are giving a little bit of your sadaqa that it goes to somebody who you will never meet in the month of Ramadan, try to find an act of a bada an act of good that it is secret and hidden and unknown, that even you yourself don't know the prophets of Allah it was sending him he said subpattern your little home Allahu favilli seven types of people on the Day of Judgment, who will be given shelter shade and protection by Allah yo mela villa in Laguna blue, when there is no protection and chain except that
which is given by Allah and one of those seven types of people. A person who gives in southern be a meanie gives in charity with their right hand and his left does not know how much panela that even the person doesn't know how much Let there come a day where you just put your hand in your purse, hand in your pocket and you put and you gave in You don't know how much leave it between you and Allah subhanahu wa Tada.
The second act of worship you want to do is an act that is public that invites others to good Subhanallah something that you do that is a public good deed that others see it and it inspires them to follow you in that regard. This is one of the reasons where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said manfaat barossa is the one who gives food for somebody who's fasting can Allahu milkflow a jury saw him Hydra and natural salt Himalayan kuzushi the one who feeds the fasting person receives the reward
of the one who is fasting while the one who is fasting does not lose any of their reward, Allahu Akbar, right? You want to be of those who give charity sooner run while Ania Allah says in secret and silent, but also they give charity outwardly that people see it and they become inspired. In the famous hadith of Le my Muslim. Also, there's versions in the Sahaba Bahati with the prophets, I seldom said to the Sahaba who can give charity to help these poor people that orajel A man came, and he had just a small amount that he put to the Prophet, I tell him he said, Here you have also this what I have. And when people saw this man come forward in front of them and give, everybody ran home
brought things and came until there was a pile of charity. The prophets I seldom said men said nothing is snappy, shouldn't that and hasn't the one who establishes a good tradition, a good act. And for Atiba houfy and others follow them in it. They receive the reward of everyone who acted in their capacity in following them in that regard. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us have them alone. I mean, this is the reason how you rukon the profits I sell them says the best of you. And Falcon Lynas is the one who is benefiting others. The prophets I seldom said how you Roku mentor allemaal Khurana Allah, the best of you is the one who learns the Quran and teaches the Quran,
Allah, I'm in home, you're up but I mean, third act in the month of Ramadan, you want to do something for those who are near you, those who are in your family. abroad to South Africa, the prophets I seldom said the sada that has the most Baraka the most value, the most blessing, the one that will return the greatest return on investment in Falcon Heavy. It's where a man spends on his family on his wife on his children on his household on his home to Panama. It's a great act of valor and charity that you can give that it's something that within your household. When the area in sort of lm Ron was revealed. Lenten Allah will be had that tool for me matter a boon, you will not attain
righteousness until you are able to give and spend from the things you love the most.
Abu talha radi Allahu anhu he came to the province I said when he said O Messenger of Allah, I have two gardens that are the things I love most in life, they are the things that I have the greatest value for these are things that I I love to spend to spend time in and I've looked after them, or messenger of Allah, I give them in southern for the Prophet I sell and refused. He said no, don't leave your wife and your children in need. Don't give all of your well these important assets in charity. He said the rasulillah but I want to earn the reward of this idea. So the prophesize lm said in if there is no way around it, if you are going to give this charity you are you must give
this charity. Then give this charity in the way that you distribute it amongst your family. Give your brothers give your sons give your daughters give your wife, give your friend, give, give charity to those who are nearest to you. Right? Because that will put love in the heart that will return on investment. I'll add a fourth, do something for somebody far from you. And do something for somebody outside your locality outside your place. And Subhan Allah, the month of Ramadan is meant to be a month where we feel in our hearts connection to Allah. But our hearts also connect to those who are disadvantaged in other parts and other places in the world, that our hearts become
one, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam says in the authentic hadith,
that we are an old man, either sticker when one of our parts of the oma is in pain, a sticker letter, and we feel the pain in another part. So when I see the condition of my dear brothers, that oh hinga people, when I see of the pain of my husband, people, when I see the pain of those who have been traumatized by the atrocities in any part of the world, as a Muslim, I feel its pain. As a human being I feel its pain. And it then comes back towards me to want to do some thing to assist in that regard. So try to do something for those who are beyond you further than you and those who are you are able to leverage higher for as much as you seek to go to do for those who are near you.
And I hope that this short discussion on balance in our work in our home and in our activity baddha is something that is of a good preparation for the month of Ramadan. Allah I mean, I look forward to some of the questions that can come through some of my social media streams where I'm streaming to, and also from our dear sister Munira desert Hello fair who's hosting us on zoom? May Allah accept from all of us? Allahumma I mean, I turn you over to system when you're on subhanak Allah home Abraham the Chateau ilaha illa Anta Safarova to like, on my social media do send in your questions in sha Allah, I will try to answer some of them along with the questions that come from Malaysia.
Meeting in LA. Hey, Donna.
Sorry, I forgot to unmute myself. There you are sister said I want to
I have a question on since most of us here are with children. How do we make that interesting and beneficial for young children? And also teenagers?
Well, one of the and you mentioned this, just like Hello, can I do have an online series called the best Ramadan ever? Right? It's an online kind of thing. And I believe that in it the three modules that I that I kind of set up intentionally. You mentioned on speaking on Ramadan with children. Yes, yes. In the module of the best Ramadan ever. That you know, it's through my website. Yeah, Ibrahim calm and you just go to Video Series, you'll find it. But that I've divided into three modules where there is the philosophy of fasting, why do we fast, and that becomes really important. Because a lot of young people, they have been brought up to know that we fast. And it's just a default, as a
Muslim. This is what we do Muslims fast. But it's important to kind of understand the conceptualization, the philosophical understate understanding of why we show our submission to Allah in that sense, what does it mean, when we restrict food? When we restrict water, when we restrict our sexual energy from each other? What does it mean, when we kind of hold ourselves back in that sense? Why is that something that is important for us to do? That becomes a really powerful kind of thing. And in that concept that relates to the philosophy of fasting, I kind of go through, you know, the rationale of fasting, why do we fast speaking about fasting to children, the concept of
delayed gratification, the world that we live in today is about instantaneous, you know, you just, you got to drop it like it's hot, you got to do it to the max, you got to get it while you can you only live once you, you know, it's now or never, this is the kind of marketing, you know, material that's pushed upon us as human beings. But social psychologists, psychologists will tell you being able to delay gratification and hold on for something better, is something that is very powerful. So teaching our children about being able to restrain themselves and to hold on to the last minute, and that they can look forward to breaking the fast is a powerful, powerful teaching tool about Sabra
and masaba. anticipating the reward from Allah, that we have a better day than the days we live in the dunya fasting in the Koran and the understandings that relate to it. All of those are really kind of important topics that I believe are important that the second module is fasting with the prophets. I send them what would it have been like if the prophets I send them is fasting with you? Right? And there's 30 different tips that I speak about acts of worship that the prophets I send them did or things that he stayed away from in the month of Ramadan. So do I do recommend it's a free it's a free module, you can just sign up for it and do the 3040 episodes. They're usually about
two or three minutes at a time.
And you can kind of you know, the variety of charities that you can give, being thankful to Allah finding les little card there, how to make sure you observe it, and establishing normal routines in life, increasing your instant file, detoxing from non essential things, increasing your Toba and return to Allah being a leader in your family, motivating others to go beyond reconnecting after hostility. making peace with those who you've had arguments with forgiving yourself meant most people in the month of Ramadan, they forget. Yeah, I need to ask Allah to forgive them, but they don't forgive themselves. They're still reliving the pain of their own mistakes of their own sins
and Allah has a folder and Rahim but you are not helpful Rahim. You are holding yourself in a prison.
That you construct, you know, reading the Quran every day falling in love with Allah subhanho wa Taala you know, finding love with Allah, praying for that. In the Jamaat, in a Masjid or at home, being an inspiration to others, perfecting your intention and Ramadan, increasing your fear of Allah, thinking of your neighbor and the food that they have hoping for Allah's mercy, holding your tongue, tongue back from obscene language, all these are lists of things that become really important for you and I to kind of consider in our relationship with a loss of data. So I do recommend that we make our children acquainted with the variety of good deeds that can be performed.
That's a yam is not so young can also be sown. That there's a difference between fasting out of obligation, Allah says quotevalet como Sam, you have to make siyam, no food, no drink. And then there is soul, which is the voluntary aspects fasting with the heart, fasting, with my eyes, fasting with my ears with what I say with the level of my voice, all of that becomes really important in sha Allah, speaking, frankly, to young people about so yeah, is the best way to kind of move motivate them towards the truth in sha Allah.
Sure, go ahead.
Okay, thank you for sharing with us such
My name is Uriah.
Actually this, what I like to do is
when you mentioned about balance, you know, what should we do when we find ourselves out of balance? Perhaps we have too much work. So what should we do when we find ourselves in that circumstance? So the great Sahaba, they used to have a saying, Rahim, Allah whom written Addy falcoda nafsa, Allah sends mercy upon the one who knows their limitations, so becomes really important for you to be very real with yourself. Don't be so ambitious, that you overwhelm yourself. And don't be negligent that you undersell and do not explore new opportunities and new and new processes and new initiatives and new jobs that you can fulfill. But being a person who is centered that you're always putting your
relationship with a law and the relationship with your friends and family, as being of greater value than the material. So d value material, but value relationships and human interactions and the considerations that you have with other people. So always make it the intent in your mind and in your heart, that that which is most important is building positive relationships. Because if you have positive relationships, everything else kind of falls into place, your your job, life becomes a little bit better your chance of getting, you know more opportunities to do more good for yourself and others and to have progression in life, it begins to increase. So you want to make relationships
the center of the focus of your day to day experience, rather than the accumulation and the processes that keep us busy. I also want to stress there's a lot of people are busy but not productive. Like there's a lot of people Subhana Allah home, I'm so busy. I don't know, I have coming and going and you know, but when you look at the end of the day, well, what did I really do? How much did I really accomplish? What was what's the some of my day? Well, wasn't really much. So buisiness does not mean necessarily productivity. So finding declutter finding a place where you can kind of get certain tasks done and there's certain You know, there's certain practical things you
could do. One of the ones that I've been trying to do lately is the two minute rule. I don't know if you've heard of this. two minute rule is anything that takes two minutes to do just do it. Don't think about it. So putting out the laundry, it takes too many just put it don't don't say oh, come back to it.
Anything that takes you at making your bed, ironing a shirt? Oh, and I'm not gonna wear this tomorrow, but it takes two minutes. Just do it today. Don't worry about tomorrow, right? So whatever it takes two minutes, two to three minutes, don't delay it because it's something that stays on a list. But if you cross off so many things on that list, because they just took two minutes washing you know, instead of putting the dish in the in the in, in, in the sink and then you have
come back and do you say, Oh, I'm gonna wait for two or three dishes, then I'll wash them all together. But I think just two minutes to wash that dish, wash the dish, right? That immediately is going to give you hours of leisure time that you never knew you had. So Pamela, I've been trying to master it I fail at times. But it is something that I do recommend in sha Allah.
We have a few question on the chat. Sure. I think I can combine this question because one of it I think mostly covered in your best Ramadan series, which is asking on factors which affect is the karma.
And another question related is how do we maintain our ego that boosts Ramadan? You know how the families will not really do jamaah throughout the whole Ramadan? And the minute we are in shower, and poof, all gone? Yeah. Yeah, how do we maintain that you buy
things that is
what I will say is, don't already approach it with a defeatist mentality. Yanni Subhana, Allah, we're already anticipating that we're going to lose the spirit after Ramadan, and it's natural to decline. It's natural, because you're not fasting 30 more days, you're gonna fast in Chatila six days of chawan you're not fasting, another 30. So there will definitely be a decline. And there's nothing wrong with the decline as long as you don't crash. There's nothing wrong that you've ascended, but then you plateau and then you're going to go down, but pull up. Right. So the pulling up becomes a really important aspect of our training and of having spiritual mentors and signing up
for classes and continuing buying Islamic books and maintaining a four iron regiment and maintaining to record before you sleep and making it for record and six, or aka and maybe waking up earlier than phygital by a minute or two. You don't just it comes to strategic planning. And we pray that Allah Subhana Allah allows us in the month of Ramadan, that we can overcome our own selves, Allah May Allah unforeseen, Allah help us against the whisperings of our own souls and our own selves along with me.
Another question here is, sometimes we're so busy with work that we feel that we're neglecting our children. But at the same time, we are obliged to ensure that we are among the time that we spend during our working hours, especially when we were working from home.
And yeah, so what what I will say is, if you already feel if like inside yourself, you look at yourself in the mirror, you say I am neglecting my children, then you need to be real with yourself. Yeah, I mean, that that's the reality, you need to be real. You need to face face that reality. If you're looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, I'm not doing what I should be doing towards my children, then hold yourself accountable to that.
Put, put the checks in balance. And that's such a, it's such a mature thing to be aware of, like for you to know that this is something I'm negligent in most people that try to avoid that critique that self awareness. So if you are mature enough, Mashallah spiritual enough to recognize this is something I'm not doing justice to then take a vertiv action. And it might be that you ask a made over or you pay somebody to babysit. And it might mean that the money you're trying to earn, you don't keep all of it, because you're spending it on somebody else. But what I'm saying to you is that might be better than you living with the consequences of that five years down the road. Because
five years down the road, then neglect you show today is going to show its worst effect, then. So be careful. If your heart is telling you I'm not doing the right thing, take a bird of action, invite someone to help you or cut back your hours at work or you know, re reshuffle the processes that you find yourself in. But certainly it should not be status quo, which should not just remain as everything is going to be okay. It'll work itself out. The biggest lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves, you look at us and say, oh, inshallah, we'll be okay. And you know, it's not going to be okay. You know, you're not doing the right thing. Don't make that, you know, mistake of just lulling
yourself into a sense of self denial, and not taking responsibility of of that which is serious man, Allah subhanho wa Taala. support all of us along with me.
One last question, and then maybe we can go to a question that you have on your Facebook. Do you have any specific do are people that afraid of what others think when he she wants to do the act of kindness publicly? As you know, we are living in this society where everybody has things to commend. So, but definitely you're mentioning that when we do something and inspire others inshallah, we'll get the hell out of there.
Listen to, but at the same time, you know, we have this evil eye and things like that. So and especially due on to help with this, and the profits I sell them teaches us that the majority of the evil is from a person against themselves. Most of the evil eye is you on yourself. You didn't say Mashallah, for something you accomplished, you assume that you're the one who did it. You forgot to thank those who helped you to get to it. And we have this hyper obsession with nazar and people are watching and this bad thing happened to me because I know she's always looking at me. She's always comparing herself to me. He's always wanting what I have. This isn't the reality in life, the
reality in life. Yes, we believe align hack, but most of it is us against herself. Number two, is that there are simple protections taught to us by the prophets I send them the three coal should be recited in your morning and in your evenings when you wake up and when you sleep. Bismillah telechelic to Allah Allah, Allah Hola, La quwata illa Billah before you leave your home, right area to liquidity when you wake up a little cozy before you sleep a little kursi after every Sunday
right the last two saw the last two area of Surah Al Baqarah in your morning and in your evening Kapha to suffices you from all harm from all all folly so if you have in your heart that Allah is your protector Halas Don't worry and don't be hyper obsessive with oh this person's looking this person know though. Keep your focus with Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah hollyburn Allah Ma, Allah subhanho wa Taala is the one who is manifest all over over all affairs. If you are shackled by the thoughts, then you were malerkotla haka. You didn't estimate Allah what he deserves of you to think of him. Right? Don't think of Allah that he's left you have your telecoil upon Allah and take
responsibility for yourself. So doing good deeds, we are we are not doing it in a boastful way. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah with the dua of Ibrahim, who is the one who built the Kava Ibrahim alayhis salam. It's a major act of public rabada that until now we acknowledge how does Ibrahim make sure that this is accepted, he makes it to our robina Taco Bell mina inaka Anta semi olallie
Rob banner, Taco Bell, Mina, Oh Allah accept this from us. You are the one who sees and hears all things knowing all things Subhan Allah to Allah. So put your trust in Allah. Don't worry. Lo Matala in what people say good or bad about you. Do what you do. Walk your path. Enjoy the beauty of your life and know the test is your own and not others. No, the test is your own and not others. And the haters can hate and keep moving along we have a you know in English we say haters can are gonna hate right you can't stop the haters. And I don't be we have another saying the dogs bark but the caravan continues walking. The caravan doesn't stop for the bark of a dog somebody Oh, you just keep going.
The camel is not disturbed. The cam of the moon is not hurt by the howling of a hound. Right? It doesn't it doesn't affect the good that is being done. May Allah accept from all of us. Along them. I mean Subhanallah if each and every one of us was to stop for every criticism for every look people give us for every comment that we received. No one would have any productivity beginning with the MBR beginning without whenever you Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Allah says to the prophet in their cafe now can muster I will suffice you against those who mock you and seek humiliation for you. You will have ascendancy in Nasha niaga who will abtot the one who seeks this
to dishonor you he They are the ones who will be brought lonely and miserable. May Allah give us ascendancy on account of our humility and our love for him. Subhana Allah, Allah him to me.
Maybe we can have a few questions from your site. If you have any more, that's fine. I'm there's 70 or 80 comments, I'm not going to go through all of them inshallah. So I'll leave it for you to maybe take one more comment. I know we advertised just a one hour time. So if you have one more question in chat log, we'll take one more. Before we conclude. I've read anyone with question you can unmute yourself and ask so maybe what maybe what I'll do is I'll make a couple of recommendations in sha Allah just to end our discussion. If I can invite you in sha Allah to
to do join that the best Ramadan ever or any other Ramadan program or any other Ramadan book to get ready for the month of Ramadan.
But my recommendation number two is to have a strategic plan for what it is that you want to accomplish in sha Allah in the upcoming month of Ramadan and kind of think what are the amounts of charity you want to give where you want to give them, get sophisticated with your ibadah don't make you're a bad the reactionary somebody tells you let's go to them as you say, Okay, let's go to them as you know, plan out where you want to go, what sort of do you want to read? Where you're going to finish the Jews? How many Jews you're going to read the day or which parts of the Jews a day you know which day which hours in the day? Do I have more free time when the children are still asleep
and you know, I'm a little bit freer you know, map out your route to success your route to success, right, map it out, have a strategic plan. And finally, is be a Ramadan buddy to others. You know, I know with COVID restrictions and things like that, I don't know how much ease it is in different parts of the world. I know Toronto, they're going into lockdown today. My father was telling me I don't know what the conditions are in Malaysia and hamdulillah we're blessed in Perth, we have total prayers and there's a sense of normalcy within our communities in Australia. But I would say they know there are restrictions. So be a Ramadan buddy to somebody even if it is virtual, even if it's
through phone even if it's just through your app. Right? Even if it's just through mentorship, where you are checking in on each other how was your Ramadan What is your plan with us are you in how about we read together How about this and that you know and there are hamdulillah so many useful
online outlets for you to be able to find good I know Mashallah you have clean Institute does a lot of good and measuring Mashallah is doing a lot of good l kelter. is doing a lot of good. There's so much good out there on my website in chat, love, there's a lot of good at you know, fine things that are going to motivate you and keep you on the course increase your reading of the Quran, you're listening of the Quran and your practice of the teachings of the Quran, the evening light Allah, one of my students, they said CEF I'm going to read the whole Quran in the month of Ramadan in English. He said just I usually I read the whole Quran in Arabi. And I said that's good, he said but I'm
going to also read in English I want to finish in English I want to know more about its meaning. So make you know find something unique that you can do and share it with other people be a Ramadan buddy to others, that you continue to motivate each other to a higher evening later Allah. I wanted to thank you once again, sister Munira for organizing this time that we have together. May Allah subhanho wa Taala reward you all of the brothers and sisters who are on your end and on your zoom. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah grant us success I look forward to doing this again in sha Allah with you at some point in time, and May Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless all of our Ramadan that is
upcoming Allah whom by living out on Milan Oh Allah allow us to reach the month of Ramadan. And may Allah have mercy upon those who have passed away between last Ramadan and this Ramadan. May Allah send light upon their grave. And may Allah give patients and sobra to their families at their loss. May Allah Subhana Allah assists us in all of the decrees that we may receive from him that we may seem to understand in a negative way when it is always positive for us, if our hearts were able to see
Thank you very much. inshallah. We'll
have another session in sha Allah. Allah him I mean just want to thank you so much for inviting me subhanak Aloma the handicare shadow Allah Eli lantis Africa to La Casa La monokuma Hello