What Did I Learn From My Son
Channel: Waleed Basyouni
File Size: 28.75MB
hamdulillah Anna Maria who want to stay you know who want to study he wants to stop Euro one oh the villa him in Shoreham fusina home and sejati I Molina yeah de la who Philomel De La Palma you will further her the other who are shadow Allah Ilaha illa Allah who the hood actually Kara wash hadoo under Mohammed and Abu rasuluh Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim Allahu Mehta, Sleeman Kathira and my bad, old praise do to align his praise and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his family, his companions and his followers until the day of judgment. I bear witness that Allah is the only one
worthy of worship and Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his last and final messenger. My dear brothers and sisters,
there is a word that was repeated in the Quran so many times over 30 times 32 To be precise, 19 different chapters, this word is the reason it means children offsprings. And that points this points the significance of the word, the reader and the concept. And often when we talk about children and I'm sure the moment I said I'm gonna be talking about children, that first thing comes to your mind is how I'm going to be able to raise them How can I protect them? How can I provide for them? How am I gonna make sure to educate them and all these things which is I think it's a natural thing for elders and parents and you know, older brothers and sisters to think that way. You know,
could it look on right and well could look homeschool on camera at that point in the business or the Muira Shepherd and you're in charge and responsible for your flocks. Who am Bucha como and you come Nara, you responsible to protect your family and your children from the Hellfire Nakagawa, Abdirizak from Santa Fe and in Nabi SallAllahu, Alaihe Salam Femara Leon, Kala Alamo ladder confessional HELOC? Well, Adam, teach your children it was reported that the process of them said, Teach your children good manners and good etiquette. So I understand that. And that's absolutely understandable. But what I would like to speak to you about something a little bit different. I want
to switch places and want you to look at your children, not a subject that you want to teach them instead, something that you someone you can learn from. I wanted to take the lens of just you know, preaching and teaching to be looking at these pure, beautiful creatures of Allah subhanaw taala, who still have their fitrah not corrupted by the accent of these creatures who Allah subhana data have made with such beautiful qualities. As adult as as we grow older, we lost in the process. In these days and years of our life, we lost so much of these beautiful qualities that we used to have when we are children.
You know, a father said I saw my son once holding two apples. And I said to them to him, give me one of them. He quickly took a bite from each app. And I started lecturing about how sharing a nice two Apple is too much for you. You should share one with me. He said actually, I was testing which one sweeter to give it to you
said at that moment, I thought you know what I need to learn how to have this no one not to judge people quickly. Regardless if the child just made this up or not. But you know, that is something to learn here. There are so many things to learn from children, I want to take these few minutes to reflect upon them because some of them are so personal to me. I actually learned so much from interacting with my own children.
One of the thing that always amazed me about kids persevering. They're so goal oriented and they are so locked on what they want to achieve. When a child has something in their mind they want to achieve they work so hard to get what they want. And they will find their way to fight to get what they want. And if it's not through you through a month or grandpa you know whatever it takes now tomorrow they will always pursue their what they want. You know obstacles are ignored often in the in the process of pursuing what they want to achieve.
And I love that about children.
I asked myself why as adults, we are not like that anymore. We saw ready to throw the towel. We saw ready to say you know I give up. Actually I will take you farther step. Cathedral Mindanao many of us they don't even have clarity of dreams and goals in life anymore. Ask so many Boston 40s and 60s in 30s late 30s You
You know, or maybe a little bit older ask people what the goals that you want to achieve in life, as individual, as family, even as organizations, so many organization have seen when they started up have these beautiful goals and dreams. And as years goes by the last they drop it. And they became as we say, Alibaba and whatever comes goes, and it whatever it comes to date, keep me busy, I'm okay. Go day by day, you know, go with the flow, they not actually motivated or driven by these dreams and goals in life. And that's something so sad. You know, sadly, I'd say the true is, so many discover where they were headed when they arrive.
And I say that, again. So many discovered where they were headed upon arrival. That's too late. That's too late. And many of the things that I want to think of when I go visit many communities, I asked and I want to take this a little bit deeper so you can understand where I'm coming from clearly, and the level of a community, like many massage they visit and Center said, what's your goal? What really you want to accomplish? What do you want to see in your community? What do you want to see in your society at large? Or you have literature of that?
I asked many family what do you want to achieve? And I will take you through the most personal thing when it comes to your relationship with Allah.
What's really do you have really clarity of what goals you want to achieve? What about your salon lady?
What do you want to achieve sips is better. 30 Rahim Allah upon combat to pMLN Shireen Asana.
I was struggling with Korea Malaysia 20 years when a tiny LA who perished in Asana and Allah made me enjoy 20 years in my life. He had a clear goal he wants to be someone who wants to meet the MLL every night in his life.
No Kodama said, any doubt Allah and your zucchini salata karate ha. I ask Allah to allow me to pray like an Imam Ahmed used to pray so many rockers during the daytime claret he wants to achieve that. They've been agile Rahim Allah said, can you hear sort of sends me go to some some and he said, I said Allah and I couldn't get the heavy you're born but their job was to. I asked Allah to be like an Imam and Debbie Rahim Allah and one point they said I passed that level. I should have asked for something higher. Those people who complex every name I just mentioned if you look it up is people have accomplished so much in their life because they were driven by clarity of goals what they want.
Why did you want to be many people told me sure I want to improve my relationship with the Quran. I said what's your goal with the Quran?
You want to enjoy the upcoming Ramadan? What's exactly you want to achieve Ramadan? Okay, I want to make more Quran twice. How are you going to do that you start asking the natural question how you will achieve that.
And you start planning for it. I want to make more every month. You know, if you pray the five daily prayers and you read about by pages after each salah, you will make up more Quran every 30 days. 10 pages it means to Hartman's every month,
you clarity will help you to move into camp. It makes sense of your life.
You guys in Canada play hockey a lot. That's right. You know this very popular game. Imagine if you play hockey, but we take the goals out. It's about just passing this left and right to each other.
Oh no fat, you will know like Toronto team, whatever you guys have teams here can imagine take that out of the basketball court, or just pass the ball to each other or soccer.
Football. You know, that's how boring this game will be. That's exactly how boring your life is. Without goals.
Exactly how boring your life is, without any clarity and goals. Make sure that this is something to inspire you today to start thinking about in every area in your life. And so individual as a community as a few have a business skill, the more clear about what you want to be and how you will be able to think how I can get there, not your life and your accomplishment will be so much and definitely for us as Muslims. The biggest goal that nothing can stop us from seeing it what the prophets of salaam said man us But how on earth rock bottom, you work up in the morning and the answer is your biggest goal. Your biggest concern, a goal that always in front of your eyes. Nothing
can distract you from
there is a big difference when we are individually or as a community as a society driven by our dreams and goals in life.
And been between this. And the other alternative is, you don't have it. You know what happened when you don't have goals and live and dreams that you're pursuing. You became distracted with anything in your way in your life, or you will be driven by your problems.
There is a big difference between the two people who wake up in the morning and said, That's what I want to achieve. That's when I want to, you know, be on someone woke up in the morning, I have this problem. And that problem is different between me say, I want my marriage to be looked like that. And someone will always complain about his marriage driven by his problems. You know what I want my kids to be like that. That's the goal that I want to achieve. My kids are terrible. Or don't listen to me, they are this this and that. us as a community, if we wake up and every day, we've complained about how Islamophobes how people who are, you know, on the other spectrum of liberal or
conservative left and right, how they attack us how they undermine us. And all what they do is just thinking about my problems and never get chance to think about my goals that would not progress much.
You know, in America, and you guys probably familiar with the civil rights movements in the United States. And it's a movement that everybody heard about, you know, Malcolm X, I'm sure.
You remember when Malcolm X give that speech, when he famously showed he said, he said, I have a dream. That's right. Can you imagine Malcolm X that day said I have a problem. And instead of having a dream,
how difference will be the big difference between the community all what they do, they talk about what we are not an a community that they speak about what we are and what we want to be as two different approach.
Another thing that I like about kids, kids before going to school and learn in school, that being wrong, it means being bad. It's part of their fitrah teach them being wrong, it means an opportunity to learn, opportunity to grow.
That's a beautiful concept that Allah Subhanallah put in us, that we learn from our mistakes, and we grow from our mistakes. And that concept is so clear in Sharia, the concept of a Toba
there tend to be so solemn since the best of you any Pharaoh the best people who repent to Allah the best sin are the one who repent ALLAH SubhanA
wa Bucha those who repent to Allah Spanner Tada reported by the Imagine others
that this concept of you know it no matter him Allah debate after tilbyr Do you go in the same level held back the Toba and Thailand if cinnamal Hana upon some elements said after you repent to Allah, let's say you're in this level, after Tober you make a commit you commit a sin you go down to be you repented, do you go to the same level you are before or lower or higher, three different opinion among other matter hemo Mala, but even though pay him leans towards, actually you go back in a higher level, because a Toba will wipe the sense so you go to your status, and it Toba in itself, an act of worship will elevate you. It's something loved by Allah.
And that's so positive concept that we have and it's not about how you look at your mistakes. How you learn from mistakes is not shame you should not shame that you have committed you know, a mistake or you have committed a sin What do you shame you should be shame have to continue to do that mistake to continue to do that sin. You should see it as an opportunity for you to grow opportunity to be better person. I learned how to shave I'm got me last time and I know how to close that door.
In Nomura hamata shape and a bad fit that yeah, knowing how the shape on tricks works and how he made me was able to mislead me knowing that and fighting that and closing that door. That's an act of worship in itself.
You know, I wish that us as an adult could learn from our own fee our mistakes. That's an opportunity to grow.
Don't ever let other people's mistakes stop you from trusting them again. Giving them another opportunities. That's a very that's not how mistakes works. We all make mistakes. Just imagine your kid when he learned how to walk Coolum workout was to get attention rather than
every time your kids fall on the world trying to learn how to walk. He's um oh, he keeps falling and making mistakes while he's not allowed to walk anymore.
You're doing any good to your kid now. Jevon Nebojsa Lim ma at
In the visa Sanlam have the ban Sahaba
Yeah, and you will have heard of our mythen Mara a twofer. pacifism happens it
didn't maybe someone was so mad at a certain stage when he killed the man who said I should have died I hate Allah even though that man if you know the story and you know the background you will find million excuse for some are killing this man. But didn't there be so someone was so mad at him to the extent when Sam I find that that's an individual solemn is really mad at me. You know how he tried to soften the process on him and
he said, Jada said Allah this stuff really?
By if I'm at a job at
parley aka delta hooba and
I see your Salah please ask Allah to forgive me now he admitting the mistake in Ibiza Salam did not say May Allah forgive you. He said you killed him after he said it.
That shook someone's heart
or sama the hip hip would also last on Sunday morning Hit Girl Salah thumb someone so dear to the process. But look after this huge mistake two years after that, in the visa Salam appointed Osama to lead the army that go into the north of Arabia that mistake never stopped the person from giving another chance
in their piece of solid food Buhari said if your MO if your servant or younger committed mistakes even a mistake like Xena adultery
don't go everyday reminder from you did a mistake you did the mistake you did the mistake and like I said if you punish the person move on out your kids make mistakes every time your wife make a mistake your husband make a mistake day and night. You did that you remember you did that you did that your brother your friend, your Imam, your community leader you keep repeating and you keep bringing it up and again that's not allowed you to grow that's not how we work with mistakes.
You know I always found it is much better.
To make mistake
then to fake a perfection
Another thing I love about children purity of heart. Yes they get angry at you but the moment I tell my son, I'm sorry. You know next like a few hours later we find we go together
adults and unfortunately I wish that as adults we start to learn how to forgive quickly. You know take it from me as a rule. Learn how to forgive and forget. And if it's too hard for you to do both do one of them. Choose one of them
as enough do you need to know the layout full well yes.
You forgive and you move on you forget that's the concept comes from
an atrophy buena yellowfin Allah Who don't you want Allah to forgive you? So learn how to forgive. Somebody told me once chef,
he did this to me, he wronged me. I said Have you any lie cheat? I can understand. You forgive who? The one who did good to you. Then in the concept of forgiving it's about someone who harm you. Someone who really hurt you. You don't forgive someone who's good to you. You forgive someone who really harmed me that's a whole forgiving concept is
I want to tell you something forgiveness of forgiving people is not a sign of weakness. No no I have no habibi. Let me tell you something. Strong people can forgive. Weak people will never let go.
And when you forgive you sit yourself free. You don't sit that person free.
You sit your heart free.
While I'm on sobre la hora. In Nevada, lemon iced mill OMO. It's one of the highest quality that a human being can possess.
That to be able to forgive and to be patient and Lithuanian viewpoint if we summarize what Barbara will call the MILA fina and the nurse one of the quality of the people of Jana then her agenda that the forgive people wala who You have been listening to all along who had been my sin and mercy known him ha Allah Ileana also people are willing to die to assert the medicine is the one who this is the description of the Messiah which is the one who give them charity in a good in ease and and a hardship and those who control anger and also forgive and it's what says No How do you suffer from Jedi the elite agenda no axon is a new additional quality of the people of Jin
Shinobi salaam when he said you all free to go
to the people of courage.
It took sort of use of Surah uses the whole Surah about the plot and how scenes have suffered. A deep soul does not even adjunct mafia if you will and coulomb or character the shadow burden
Every time I read this verse and sort of use it gives me goosebumps because the whole sort of build up that suffering of use of I said I'm always Sears
and in the Intercon data three battery company musculoskelet kenmar crochet into
this is no harm when you offer give it up after all the series Yes, just one word that the three Valley Camillia don't feel alone and may Allah for an age he started with themselves may Allah forgive me and forgive you
to amazing quality to have
kids have a quality that can't leave you tonight today without mentioning it
which is the ability to adjust I remember when I moved to my new house my son was able to know the neighbors before even I figured out the rooms of the house he get to know you know my daughter moved to New school you know new neighborhood just so quickly
change happened in the live the able to adjust
us as adults to learn how to adjust how to understand the changes that happen in our life and around us. Let me tell you one on one on biology those who who do not have the ability to adjust belong to Jurassic Park.
Belong to museums belong to the past not belong to the future.
You don't know how to adjust yourself and that's one of the beautiful thing about our Sharia that is so flexible even though it is so principle
so many people don't know how to adjust you know what? My son that day was telling me Bob I want to go with my friend to eat. Give him a like you know,
by the $10.10 American dollars not Canadian. Okay. And he looked at me and he said what I do with that
I said you said you want to go eat um I assume you're gonna go eat like in a fast is a bar that has no fast food to noise.
I said oh my god I need to adjust that's installations and things change. It's not it's not the 90s anymore. It's not like 2000 Some parents you know don't know you know your your daughter is a married woman. She's not your girl anymore in the house. Your son is in high school you cannot treat him the way you treated him when he was Elementary School. Your son in college, your daughter is in college. You can just treat her the way you treat her when she was she's in the middle of school. She's a teenager you need to learn how to adjust with the change that happened in your life
and the ability of the more you can do that the more you know how to deal with it
you know what you don't live anymore in in Egypt or in Pakistan or in Somalia you live in Canada and you have new things new challenges facing you. You can put yourself in a bubble and imagine that this is how that's not adjust that's afraid of adjust you know what I need to learn new a new job new skills I need to improve myself in order for me to grow and that's an essential thing for survival
an important element to thrive
you there are so many things to be said about that but I hope that we can change the way you will look at some of these issues may Allah subhanaw taala aim for in our messenger Noel for Linda welcome Apollo Massimo to Mostafa Ahmadi
MD rely on the host salatu salam ala Medina via via the Hobart
there is a study shows or suggest that an average kids laugh 200 times a day
or an average adult laugh and smile about 14 times a day.
You know one things about children that they are happy, happy creatures.
And this is something so beautiful. I don't know why us as adult as we grow older, we became you know, a borderline grumpy kind of people. You know, I don't know why. I don't know why we lose our smile and we lose our fun time. I said this is not the son of the process alum who lemme try to know how many companions said Mara into Nebuta Salam Ihlara to him with a question every time I see the process Allah He told me that he said in the house cat K for can also the lights L as well. Yes, this Alhambra. And she answered the same thing. She said Can Fe VT acted on NASCIO bacon well acted on necesitaba Suma, what can Raja Marie Jericho he used to laugh a lot with us? He used to smile or
the he's like You men. It's not like he you know he liked it.
mmm yes, there is a moment of anger but most of the time you laugh and you smile with his family.
I travel a lot.
I tell you many community when they visit, I want to say a disclaimer. I would love it when I came here. At least I found like 15 I was counting any 15 smiles on my way here or 60s ma i love it. That's that's that's very good number and many massage. They go centers people just stare at me, checking me out who's this? I'm smiling. chickened out. That's fine. But smile.
Smiling is such a beautiful thing. You're smiling does not make people around you happy. It makes you happy. I don't have time. But I will tell you. I came from United States from Houston and Houston. We have a hospital. It's called St. Luke's Hospital. Just Google concept that said new hospital came up with and it became worldwide accepted. Healing Through laughter just read the story behind it's interesting story. And it's online. Oh, it's actually make you healthier. It gives you beautiful skin. You know, it's much cheaper than potox. Jana. Yeah. You know, it gives make your immune system strong. Kids are happy. Please keep them happy. And make them sad. And you learn from
them to be happy. To beautiful thing to live it's a beautiful thing. If your smile rusty polish it. Use it again. If you think you lost your smile didn't go anywhere right under your nose.
Make it a habit you know in Abu Hurayrah has mastered we're going to make sure we spread Salaam and smile. You know and I've already remastered in Joomla when it comes to the master. If I find someone without a smile, give him one of yours. It's one of the most contagious things the most rewarding things
I remember when they moved to the west one of the things that shocked me culture shock is the amount of smiling people know many of these smiles are for business or whatever. And I said why us as Muslim? This is part of our student nothing to be in a Salah it really was
oh, I'm good. This Muslim kids are very active.
I love it. So active, full of energy.
Why as soon became adult, we became too lazy.
Oh, no, my son. Oh, and he comes poor kid from all the way from upstairs? Yes. Well, it made the remote control.
That's it? Yeah.
Just free slavery. You know, free your service. Why you go move yourself from the couch and go get your own remote control.
You know how to hire them to resource on the national scene. I served the problem 10 years. He never asked me to do something for him. Try to do that. 10 minutes with your wife with your kids.
Don't be like this guy who says that the doctor said hey, you have to watch it. You have diabetes. And you know your blood pressure is not good and your crystals building up. Is it Oh, doctor, don't worry. It runs in the family. You said son I'm worried that nobody in the family runs. That's why you guys aren't like that. It doesn't run the family you need to move you need to be active, kind of nippy selenia statement and Ansel Kassar?
You know, somebody told me chef, I don't really care much we're going to die according to what Allah decide for me. I said yes, you're going to die in the exact time.
That's not in your hand. But you know what's in your hand?
What kind of health condition you will be when you die.
You will die when the last salida DuraCoat Institute or you were in a wheelchair because he never cared about your health.
in Ibiza, someone said you will be asked about your body. And for me it's not only about health, it's about attitude. active people have a positive attitude. They are full of energy we have a certain degree and how unique this person full of energy positive energy you know give you that energy you won't be around them.
Those energy suckers you don't want to be with them in the same room.
With so suck the energy out of the air.
Part of it is that may Allah subhanaw taala any give us
the best of manners, may Allah subhanaw taala make us able to cherish these qualities in our children and we learn from it and we save it to grow stronger as they grow older. May Allah subhanaw taala protect all of us Allahu melphalan our ham now if you know if I know as a unit is unity Eman which I don't know who that the Moto de la
mean yes okay are hammer rahimian and turn zilara hermetic well Baraka tech and other gems AHA there mustard and I'm in your sleepy woman yo moment your Yahoo Allah humma humma humma medallic la homomorphic comesa did him Allah mountains out ahead and mustard you only had in gelatin higher or sub been Saba long footnote Yom Nikolina to Hebrew Atharva Allah my father nobody yet you know helenium inshallah feet and Navajo I mean how am i button Allah Masaryk I know I'm beauty now I know that you know Andhra you know and Ahmad in Aquila su Mushara Allahu minion, Ahsoka and Teleflora, not for Santa Fe human haptic wanted to Hamblen no matter suddenly be even happier if I had to go
100 together Colonial Era Allahu minions who can teach me I can emitter Muslimeen and who that will help one tell her Allah now. You know what you know as far as you know the reality no matter who have been overblown, Elena untersuchen Illman Nafion Ramadan Silesian wanted to have fun I wanted all the Nana, Allah Who muscly was suddenly Mubarak and maybe you know Mohammed while early he was somebody who a woman is solid Johan Johan, come on