Should You Consult An ExSpouse

Would you go consult the exes? If it's a possibility? I would like to but I think in most cases, that's not a possibility.

It is possible. Yeah, then. Yeah, yes.

Why a mother presents q&a With shareholder asuni, because that person has the most amount of information about this man or a woman is the x. So would you trust these informations? On the character of the ex? I guess? I mean, you didn't know?

Because I'm sure he's gonna. What have you said, Oh, she's the she's terrible woman. She did that.

I mean, I want to take his word for it. I would prefer I would prefer to and I would like to spend the rest of your life echoing in the back of your head what she said.

She might have said the truth. Would you? Well, I love that way.

Like, always in the back of your head, what you said about your husband on either was true or not.

If it is that much bothersome, I wouldn't marry that man. But I think I would definitely want to speak to the eggs. Okay, I give you a real scenario. This guy looks so nice. So calm. I said he used to beat me up. Yeah, that's something that information is valuable. So that was no record of that. But if the ex is saying that he used to beat me up, I wouldn't proceed.

Because I trust the ex.

Okay, what if he tells you actually, I never beat her up? She only made this up. Okay. And she said this. And the reality is she was a very abusive woman. She's the one who used to beat me up.

I don't think I'm gonna risk my life for any man, honestly. Okay. I mean, it's fine. Maybe he's telling the truth. But there are, there are a million other men, I'm gonna risk my life. She said to you that he loves it when he get angry. Yeah, so those are important information. So I wouldn't go into that relationship. So that's why talking to the ex is important. I mean, if it's, if it's a possibility, in most cases is not a possibility. Because, okay, I think that like, if you're going in with the assumption that it's your brother or sister in Assam, and they're trying to give you advice from the good of their heart, I think, from my understanding, even after divorce, you're not

supposed to speak ill of your ex spouse. I mean, that's not supposed to. But if you're going in with that intention, I feel like I feel like I kind of agree with her that I would want to speak to them, because they did live with them. And they did.

You know, have the most you do that personally or let someone else talk to them.

Maybe somebody else just avoid drama. Okay. I feel like you know, I agree with what they said that the ex does have some valuable information. But you always have to keep in mind that they are going to be biased in some way because of what happened. Yeah, for example, here, maybe he really got angry one day, out of 20 years of marriage, and he pushed her.

But she made it sound like he beating her dog like their nights are Islamic. She might be, you know, exaggerating. It might be she had to he had her back. You know, it might be but she because of the anger and the hate. It can be flora. So is that a possibility?

Yes, it is possible. I mean, I'm saying I'm just asking myself Yes or No, that's the both can be she exaggerated. She's not exaggerating. So

one thing that you have to keep in mind ex husband exists while one other thing I will look at it either divorce, if it's a nasty divorce or not.

It's a nasty divorce. I'll be more cautious in the information that I get from them. Because it's so toxic. It's so nasty, but if it's a very calm, very mutual role, and she's a good one is a good one. Then he told me something like you know, he's stingy. Okay, I will take that more of the yes. But if it is no something that is very nasty and is ugly and expects it to be like, I'll take that with a grain of salt I will be very cautious because this information can be distorted information, not pure.

And

one thing that you have to understand you always I will always go to the exes if I couldn't also find out myself in a very

good way like very weird divorce. Like makes no sense to me why they divorce each other. So maybe I will ask the ex Why is a good divorce. Don't ask too many too many questions.

Is it's any item

Wanna share some of the stuff that I heard was crazy the Ask exes about so many details is crazy.

Like, even to the personal relationships, I just crazy this year on your life. And one of the dangers of this is what?

Pre assumptions.

Oh, so what she said is correct. And she starts always filtering your action or her action based on what you heard, and it's in the back of your head, you don't want to live like that, that will drive you crazy.

So make sure that you be careful what you're getting yourself into.

I'd like to end up with this activity you guys can do at home,

I want you to, you know, have a piece of paper and you write

one to five, you know,

in every line,

or you might put a circle

and you put inside the circle shape. If you're a sister, you put

like a shape of a man or a figure.

The sticky figure of a man or sisters. If you are a brother, then out of that circle, shoot out five different you know lines and ask yourself these questions. What are the qualities you are looking for in your spouse? Write them down. So you know what you want.

And you might cross some. So if you have to choose only five. What are these top fives something I should look at and maybe an exercise that you can do