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How To Transform A Broken Heart

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Yasmin Mogahed

Channel: Yasmin Mogahed

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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patterns, but we aren't seeing the results that we want. How can we break out of that? How can we start to transform our lives? How can we start to see these changes that we desperately need in our lives? There is a formula that Allah subhanaw taala tells us in the Quran, he says in Allahu Allah, Allah, you remember, Coleman had dilated Mab and footsy him, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is inside themselves. We need to take this journey of internal change if we want to start to see external change in our lives, if we want to start to break these painful patterns. If we want to improve our relationships, if we want to improve our our lives in

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general, we need to start to take internal steps to change ourselves. How can we do that? Transformed is a class that I've been teaching for many years about a topic that I'm extremely passionate about. My background in psychology, as well as my experience in this field makes me very, very passionate about this subject. Because I see how it changes lives, I see how it saves people, people who've been living in the same patterns for decades, that just by changing small things in their habits, small things in their in their daily routine and in their thinking and in how they relate to Allah subhanaw taala and how they relate to the experiences that they're that they're

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going through in their life completely turn their life around completely change how they feel and how they live their lives. And this class is about rectifying our relationships with people through rectifying our relationship with Allah subhanaw taala. And this class is no longer taught on site. So the only opportunity to take this class is now online. And it is an amazing opportunity because it gives access to people who didn't originally have access. On site. Now anyone in the world can have access to these fundamentals, which absolutely change lives. These are fundamentals given to us, by Allah and His messenger that transform our entire experience in this life and transform our

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relationships, you can sign up for this class. And when you sign up, the amazing thing is that you'll have lifetime access, lifetime access to all the modules, and you'll have lifetime access to the extra bonus sessions will have bonus sessions will have guest sessions, there will be live q&a after each module with me, I will be doing live q&a, you'll also have access to other students who are together learning in this in this online environment. So you'll have all of that immediately. As soon as you sign up, you'll have access to the first module and this is lifetime access to that. So registration for this course does have a deadline, it will open at a certain time and it will close.

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And so there is a limited window of your opportunity to sign up. So make sure that you do act right away. Take advantage of this of this chance to change your life to change your relationships to change your state. And to allow you to finally find some sense of stability. Many of us live in these up and down roller coasters in life. Emotionally psychologically, in our relationships, this is an opportunity to start to learn how to find stability, and peace in our lives. As with everything in life, we have a choice, we can learn the tools that help us to get to our destination, or we can take can continue to suffer we can continue to repeat the same patterns that keep us stuck

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many of us are we feel stuck, we don't feel movement. And so we have this choice. Do we want to learn the tools that will help us to move forward to help us to change those things in our lives and in ourselves that we wish to change. Or we can stay in these patterns and we can stay stuck and continue to suffer. So here's exactly what you're going to get in this course when you sign up for this class, what you'll get is four modules, the the course will be split up into these four groups these four core modules. The first one is about the heart of

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what the heart is and how to purify it. The second module is about the difference between true love and false attachments. How to ascertain our instruments and how to break them and set ourselves free. The third module is about how to cope with hardships and pain, how to understand the things that happen in our lives and how to overcome how to become and how to actually be able to thrive even while we are being tested. Using these things to become stronger and purify ourselves and get closer to Allah subhanaw taala. And finally, the fourth module about how to use these principles to improve our relationships with the creation we'll talk about our relationships with their spouse

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with your children, with your friends with parents, and how it relates, each of the modules consists of many hours of content, we have a q&a, we also have panel discussions. And the amazing thing about this is that you have this, this convenient, this where you have access to all of these modules at your own convenience to watch or rewatch as many times as you want and when is convenient for you, I've had the opportunity to teach this course material around the world to my own students. And the feedback that I've gotten is that this really does change lives. It helps people to turn their life around to transform their relationships to transform who they are to transform how they interact in

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their world. This is something that has helped countless people. After years of experience and meeting with people and teaching this material all over the world, I've had the opportunity to refine the material to make focused and polished as I can, and that what we have now available for anyone around the world in this Court has transformed a principles of spiritual development. It's available now in its in its most focused and refined, firm online at your convenience, and Inshallah, you'll be able to access that for a lifetime. Again, as many times as you need. I've had students share with me who've take his course and who've learned these principles that these

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principles transform their marriage saved their marriage. I've had other students tell me that these principal amount of depression and anxiety things that they were dealing with for much of their life, these principles are extremely powerful and they can absolutely transform a person's life. So again, by clicking the button and registering you get immediate access to the first module allow you to have this access to not only the modules not only the the, the others who are studying but you also have the access to the live q&a. So click on it register don't lose this opportunity to really make a transformative change in your life.

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Salam aleikum everyone Zack Malachite on for joining out with the bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim o salat wa salam ala Rasulillah while Ali was mine. Rubbish rally Saudi were yesterday Omri. Well, hello looked at me Lissoni of a home Collie. So just echolocate and for for joining. I want to first make sure can everybody hear me? Okay? So just let me know in the chat if you can hear me. You can you can see you're all in and then inshallah let me know where you're joining from. So unhemmed Allah, we have a global community. And I always love to see where our brothers and sisters are joining from. So you know we have Senegal coming. We got we got people

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coming in from the UK. We're looking now. Yep. Lots of people all over us. We got let me know if you can hear okay, so you're good. You can hear Birmingham.

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Madison, Wisconsin. That's actually where I am currently. It's probably a family member downstairs.

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Okay, cool. Tanzania. Awesome. Awesome. That's far Netherlands, Qatar.

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India. hirji. Well, great. hamdulillah just just keep letting me know where you guys are at. We got another person in Birmingham. We got Philadelphia. Okay, awesome.

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All South Africa.

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South Africa, Cape Town. I love Cape Town actually really miss Cape Town. Subhanallah New York India. Okay, cool. Ethiopia, UK.

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Iraq. Wow. Michela Cape Town again. Saudi Arabia, really hoping inshallah to have a safe trip to Saudi Arabia for Imran Shala soon. India. Qatar. Cool Chicago. My neighbor at the moment. Queenstown Okay, wow, Cape Town. So UK are awesome sir. SriLanka awesome Masha Allah, USA. Okay, so inshallah as you guys are coming in, I want to thank you, UAE. Michelle, I want to thank you guys for joining Pakistan represent Nigeria Mashallah. So, first of all, I want to I want to thank you for joining. This is a really, this is a topic that's very near and dear to my heart. You know, the concept of transformation through, you know, through spirituality is kind of it's been my passion for a long

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time. That's what I've been studying and trying to teach for the last decade. And really, this class transformed the class that I just spoke about in the video. Is it

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is really kind of a collection of a lot of the, the content that I've been teaching all over the world, you know, in different courses in different classes, and a lot of what I've sort of experienced my own life lessons about transformation, you know, how can we really change our lives through these very, very powerful tools that Allah subhanaw taala and His Messenger give us, as well as, you know, using the the tools that were that we have from psychology, and kind of how to combine that. So transformed is really a very, like, you know, I take this content that I've been teaching for a decade now. And I really just sort of distill it and concentrated into one course. And this

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course really covers so many topics, a lot of the topics that I cover, you know, I touch upon and reclaim your heart, as well as in my other book love and happiness. But what I do is I take these concepts about, you know, things like heartbreak, like we're going to talk about a little bit today and Shala, about, about pain, about relationships, about love about our relationship with the Creator, and how that is connected to our relationship with the creation, I talk about hardships, I talk about, you know, how we can handle how we can understand our hardships, how we can rise through our hardships, and become stronger through our hardships, you know, really learning, you know, one

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of the concepts I cover in this class, is how we can not only survives in our storms, but actually thrive through our storms, that using our storms to actually become stronger, to become closer to Allah subhanaw taala. And to become better. And so it's really a very, very concentrated sort of content about all of these topics are all within this course. And so what we've done is I used to teach this course, in person. And so I could only really access a specific, you know, city in a specific country at a specific time. But now Hamdulillah, thanks to you know, an Maghrib in technology, and Hamdulillah, we've been able to actually make it available online. And so now,

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anybody can can access this content. And you can actually, once you, once you register for it, you get this content, you get access to this content, and you get lifetime access to it. So you don't, you know, it's not like it expires, you can use this, you can rewatch it as much as you can, as much as you want. And the other thing that that happens with the with the registration is that you get the opportunity to attend for live q&a s and each q&a is an hour. So it's a lot of access, basically. So you get to sort of the the nice thing about it is not only does it provide you kind of this, like you know, it you It allows for like this global opportunity right to, to this content

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where I can now I can touch a lot more people without having to be contained to just one specific city. And you You also have access anywhere in the world. So you get that access to the content. But the other thing that's really, really good is that you also you get to like interact, interact with the content, but then you get to come. And then during the live q&a, you get to ask your questions. So there's going to be four of those, each one an hour long. So you get this, this this opportunity to sort of interact with the content cuz because the main thing that I want to focus on it, you know, within pretty much everything I try to teach is making it practical, right? So a lot of times

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we learn concepts like, you know, we learned the concept of Leila and Allah when we were when we were little, right, we learned the concept of, of, you know, taqwa fear, or what does it mean to fear Allah subhanaw taala. We've learned these concepts, since we were young. But the question is, how does how do they apply in our lives? Right? And that's really where I want to focus. And that's where I focused in this class. And where I hope to continue throughout, you know, the, the live interactions as well, how do you translate it? So I want people to interact with the content. But then I want people to like, also think about how does this apply to me? And then how can I, you

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know, how do I apply this in my life? So you're gonna have questions, and so we have that opportunity to do the live q&a as well. But having said that, if you are if you do want to register for it, it's a mega red dot online, and you can just check the pinned in the chat in the chat box. But what I want to do is jump into today's today's topic, because what today's topic is it's really kind of a

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I guess it's it's a snapshot of what I go in depth and speak about in the class transformed. I really, I really believe

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In this in this course, because I think that it gives you concepts that are literally life saving, not because they're my concepts, but because these are things that Allah and His Messenger have given us. And then I also try to extract things from psychology and from positive psychology research. And try to combine that with an Islamic lens. And honestly, these are life saving concepts, and I know this from personal experience, these are concepts have saved my life. But these are also concepts that I've saved countless people who, whose experiences people have shared these experiences with me. And it's like, it literally gets people, you know, these concepts, literally

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get people through

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experiences in life, that that you can't even wrap your mind around, you know, like tragedies, you know, loss, you know, a lot of things that that life will inevitably throw at us. And this literally saves saves their lives, these these ideas, these concepts. So, I, I teach it because I believe in it, I teach it because I've, I've done it, and I've experienced it, and I've seen it done. So I'm really, really encourage that, you know, getting that more in depth sort of experience. But when you talk about the idea of transforming a broken heart, so I like this title, because it's it has the transformation. But it also talks about the concept of pain, right and a broken heart. So the first

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thing we have to understand, before we talk about transforming a broken heart, but not only that, but transforming through a broken heart. Right, so I'll explain what I mean by that. But the first thing we have to understand is why do we experience pain in life? Because this is one of the hardest questions to answer. You know, and a lot of people get lost in that question, why is this happening to me? Or Why did this have to happen? You know, it's not fair. You know, we sometimes get stuck in the why, right? And when we get stuck in that why we can't move forward. So I think it's very important that we have an understanding of what pain is, and why do we experience pain? First and

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foremost, we know from an Islamic perspective, we know as believers that this life is not perfect that this life is not Jenna. And rather, this life is a is a period of a temporary period of test for us. Now, when we say that this life is a test, we also should not misunderstand that word. Because sometimes when people hear, you know, when they learned the idea that this life is a test, but then they think that it's a test in the sense of

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like, like a professor tests you right? So when a professor tests you he or she gives you a test steps back doesn't give you any help, and doesn't know how you're going to do right until they see the test. Well, Allah subhanaw taala is tests are not like that. Number one, and this is essential, is that Allah subhanaw taala is with us in our tests, Allah does not go away, while we're being tested, and just leave us to ourselves. The only time we are left to ourselves during a hardship is if we leave Allah subhanaw taala if we close the door on Allah subhanaw taala if we distance ourselves from Allah, but Allah will never leave us unless we choose to leave Allah subhanaw taala.

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So the the first sort of an, like unlearning, that we have to do when I understand the idea of a test is that Allah doesn't leave you in your test, just for you to depend on yourself. And then he steps back and sees what you're going to do. Rather Allah subhanaw taala is with us in that test. And without the help of Allah subhanaw taala absolutely no one. No one could ever pass this test. Nobody could be successful without the help of Allah soprano Pena. So the first mistake when we when we, when we're dealing with a broken heart when we're dealing with pain, is that we depend on ourselves. This is the first mistake that people make even very religious people, even very

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spiritual people, even very practicing people will sometimes misunderstand the idea of being tested, and think that they have to depend on themselves. So many people will harden up. This is also one of the coping mechanisms that people will employ in order to sort of deal with the test. So what they'll do is they'll harden up, they'll, they'll depend on themselves, they'll, you know, they'll you know, they'll be like, Okay, this is a test. I can't show any motion. I have to be strong, right? And of course, the false definition of strong use

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usually means I have to feel nothing, I have to show no emotion, I have to be stoic about this. Otherwise, I'm not being patient. So these are all concepts, I cover more in depth in the course. But the idea here is that one of the biggest mistakes that we make, and one of the, the main reasons why we actually cause further suffering to ourselves is that we depend on ourselves when we are going through our difficulties. We think that Allah is testing me, and therefore, I need to depend on myself, I need to harden up, you know, there's this idea of sub being equated with a heart hardness, right? That I don't cry, I don't show sadness, I don't show emotion. These are all false

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concepts of sub. And so to understand that, actually, number one, Allah is with us in our hardship, that the test itself, we are not left to ourselves unless we leave Allah subhanaw taala. So so so not to feel that we are on our own not to feel isolated in our difficulties, and not to think that Allah is expecting you to do it on your own. You know that that actually, the idea is that Allah wants us to turn to Him, and He wants us to reach out for help. Now think back to the example of the professor with the exam, right? If the professor gives you an exam, and you're having a lot of trouble with this test, right, you're struggling, you don't know any of the answers? How many? Like

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what would happen if we raise our hand and say, Professor, I don't know what I'm doing? Can you help me? Like, we know that we cannot do that? Because that's cheating, right? We all we all know that. You can't ask the professor for help during an exam, because that's cheating. Right? So we sometimes apply that same logic to Allah. Right? So when we're in a test, when we're going through a difficulty, yes, we were believers, we understand this is a test. So many of us also believe that it's cheating to raise our hand and ask for help. We don't turn to Allah for help. And we think we have to depend on ourselves, on our own intelligence on our own problem solving this is one of the

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most common things that we do when we're faced with a difficulty is that we, we turn inward, instead of going to Allah, we turn inward, and we and we say, Okay, this is a problem, right? Now, let me figure out with my mind how I'm going to solve this. Now, this isn't to say that we don't look for, you know, solutions, and we don't use the means. But this becomes our what we depend on, we're actually depending on ourselves to solve the problem entirely, right? Where instead of, you know, asking Allah for help, instead of turning to istikhara, instead of turning for esteana, asking for help from Allah subhanaw taala, instead, we rely on ourselves to problem solve. Now, what that

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actually leads to when you are relying on yourself, rather than on Allah, is it actually leads to more suffering, in this case, it will lead to a lot of anxiety. So when you're relying on yourself to solve a really big, impossible, you know, you know, a really difficult problem, you end up actually causing yourself a lot of anxiety, a lot of pressure, and you can't sleep at night, and maybe you can't, you know, you can't relax, you can't stop thinking about the problem. This is a sign that you're relying on yourself, instead of relying on Allah subhanaw authentic. Now, again, and this is, of course, something I go, you know, more in depth about in the course. But there is a

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beautiful balance between, you know, using the means, you know, this concept of tying the camel and relying on almost subhanaw taala. But what has to be clarified, and of course, this is a deep concept, it can't, you know, it's something that needs more in depth, explanation, but just to kind of summarize, we need to do both, we need to rely on Allah subhanaw taala. And we also need to do our part, we also need to, you know, try to use the means, you know, if we're sick, we look for medicine, if we're, you know, if we're if we're, if we have an issue, we look for therapy, if we, you know, if we if we need a job, we look at and put out our resume, we you know, we want provision,

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we go out and we seek a job, etc. However, however, it's very, very important that we're clear where is our reliance, our reliance should be on Allah subhanaw taala. So, when we face pain, the same rule applies. We should not rely on ourselves. To solve the problem. We should not rely on ourselves to

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Get through the problem. And we should not rely on ourselves to heal the problem. We can use tools, but we should right rely on Allah subhanaw taala them. So the first lesson really, that we that we have to understand is that Allah subhanaw taala is not testing us, in order for us to do it ourselves. And Allah does not step away like a professor, but rather Allah is there he is close. In fact, he is closer than our jugular vein. Allah in fact, and this is really deep. Now this kind of, you know, brings us to the question of, of the concept of pain in general, why do we go through these these heartbreak? Why do we have to, you know, why do we have to go through it anyway. Right.

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And what's very interesting is that one of the reasons why we experienced difficulty and there are some, there are many reasons why Allah subhanaw taala tells us in the Quran and the Sunnah, that we experienced difficulty, but one of the reasons is ironically, because Allah wants us to raise our hand and ask for help. So here we are thinking about Allah Subhan Allah like a professor, like, I can't ask, I have to do this myself, right? I have to be patient, I can't show pain. I can't show sadness. I can't ask for help. I gotta be strong, right? I can't cry. And that's the complete wrong answer. In fact, Allah wants us to turn to Him and cry to him. Allah wants us to turn to Him and ask

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for help. Allah wants us to raise our hand and say, I don't know what I'm doing. I need your help. That's what Prophets did. That's what Prophets did when they were broken. That's what Prophets did when they were in difficulty. That's what at you violate his sin. Hampton. That's what Eunice la he said, um, did when he was trapped in the in the fish. That's what Mohammed sly Salem did when he was at the hardest time of his life, which was politics. And he tells us this later he tells, this is narrated in a hadith by Aisha on the line. This was when she asked him what was the most difficult time, he said it was the time of life. It was a time when he had just lost his wife and his beloved

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uncle. And then the people were, you know, off top, if had had had very violently and very aggressively pushed him out. And it was at that moment, he said, was the hardest of his life. And it was at that moment that he turns to Allah subhanaw taala in a very, very profound, too. And don't do I apply if I advise everyone to really study this dot, because within this DA is a formula for healing. It's a formula for how to really deal with a broken heart. First thing he does, he says, I complained to you. So this is also a very important concept when it comes to dealing with with pain. And that is that we don't

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we don't complain about Allah subhanaw taala we don't say Allah, it's not fair. Yalla why me? Right? That is something that is a contradiction of sub, but, but we complain to Allah. And there's a very, very deep difference. Complaining about Allah is when you are saying, Why me? It's not fair. How could you do this to me, God, complaining to Allah is when you turn to Allah and say, this is hard, and I need help. And that's what Allah wants from us. And what's so profound is that's what Prophets did. The Look Look at, look at Yaqoob Alayhis Salam, like Yaqoob alayhi salam, his patients is referred to as Southern Germany, right? He had beautiful patients and look at his dua in NEMA a

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schoolboy with the what Hosni and Allah, He says that indeed, I complain of my suffering and my sadness to Allah subhanaw taala. So he was also complaining to Allah. He's not complaining about Allah. He's not saying it's not fair. How could you take use it from me, he's turning to Allah, and he's saying, I am suffering, I am sad. That is what Prophets did. And this actually is the most powerful way to heal a broken heart is to take the broken heart to Allah subhanaw taala. Not to pretend that it doesn't hurt not to pretend that you're strong not to pretend that you've got it all together, you've got it all figured out, that somebody's going to make you suffer more. But to take

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that that brokenness and turn to Allah with the brokenness, and Allah heals the broken hearts, and Allah loves when we turn to Him. So what happens is, when we do that a few things happen. Number one, we actually get closer to Allah through that broken heart. And this is why Subhanallah bringing it back to this concept of transformation, that not only can we transform a broken heart, but we can also transform through a broken heart, that the brokenness itself changes us. And and if we do it, right, it makes us better. It makes us stronger. It makes us it develops us. It grows us

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And so you see that transformation actually can happen through the broken heart itself. We hate to feel pain, I mean, that is just part of human nature. But, but I'm going to kind of change your perspective a little bit here, Inshallah, and that is looking at a person who goes to the gym, right? A person who wants to get in shape a person who wants to build muscle, my question to you is, what do they do? Right? If someone wants to get strong? Do they sit on the couch and get comfortable? Or do they have to go to the gym and lift weight, right. And so we understand this concept in the physical world that in order to get stronger, in order to get fit, you have to

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actually do work, you have to actually struggle a bit. Yeah, you have to actually lift weight. If I tell a personal trainer, hey, I want to be in shape, right? I want to be strong, I want to be fit, that trainer isn't going to tell you how to sit on the couch, that trainer is not going to get you comfortable. In fact, any and anyone who's who's who's gone to a trainer knows it's not comfortable. It's not, it's not necessarily going to be something that's easy, right? In fact, it is it involves some struggle. And it may involve some literal pain, right? No pain, no gain. Now that pain of lifting, and the pain that anyone who goes to the gym knows that comes after is part of the process.

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It's part of the process of what you know, you never see, if you told your trainer, I want to be strong, and I want to be fit, right? And then your trainer says, Okay, here's how you're going to do it. This is what you're going to do. This is your regimen. You see, though that weight over there, you're gonna have to pick it, you're gonna have to lift it, nobody hurts, but you're going to have to do it, that's how you're going to get fit. That's how you're going to get strong. You're not going to go and get angry at the trainer and say, Why did you do this to me? How could you make me go to the gym? Or how could you make me lift that weight? How could you make me do resistance

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training? How could you do this, you're not going to get angry, because you know that there's a purpose, you know, that this, this this period of pain, this period of struggle is for a purpose. And that purpose is to make you stronger. And that purpose is to is to develop you literally to grow you.

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And it's exactly the same thing with Allah subhanaw taala, and the pain that we experience in life, but we have to respond in the right way, in order for it to grow us, in order for it to make us stronger, we have to respond in the right way. Because just like at the gym, if you do it wrong, you can injure yourself. And, in fact, you can really, really hurt yourself, right? It's the same thing that if we don't respond properly, if we don't understand how to deal with the pain, if we don't understand how to respond to the broken heart, then we can actually suffer greatly. And that's why it's so important that we learn these tools, and we have the right concepts, and we respond

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properly. So what I do in this course, is I talk about, you know, kind of the whole spectrum, right? From understanding the concept of attachments, because it's all connected, right? The the pain that we feel is connected to the type of attachments that we have, when you have an unhealthy attachment, for example, and inshallah I talk about this more in depth, obviously, in the course, I'll also be touching upon this topic in in part of the series and Schulen, upcoming, you know, courses in the series. But when you have an unhealthy attachment, it affects the type of pain that you experience. It affects the type of suffering that you experience in times of loss. So let me give you an

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example. The

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when we talk about heartbreak, not all heartbreak is created equal. All right? Not all heartbreak is the same. So you might look at one person and you're like, How in the world can they handle this tragedy that I couldn't even imagine. Whereas you find someone else, and maybe something that you don't think is as big of a deal has completely shattered them. Right? So this happens in life, you'll find, you know, one individual you can't even imagine how are they getting through this absolute tragedy, and then someone else you maybe you don't really understand why it's breaking them. Now, the first lesson here is that we really cannot judge. We cannot judge another person's

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pain. We cannot judge another person's trauma for sure. But why do we have sometimes these differences? One of the reasons has to do with the nature of the attachment itself? What what did this thing mean to me?

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Where was this? You know, this thing that I lost? What type of relationship did I have with it? And more specifically, and in sort of the spiritual terms that I use in my course transformed is? Where did it? Where did it reside in my heart? At what place? Did I hold this in my heart? Was it something that I held? At the core of my heart? Or was it something that I had in my hand? You know, this idea of where do we hold our gifts? Very, very deep concept. And I also talk about this, in one of the chapters of reclaim your heart, is that where do you hold a gift, you know, when you hold a gift, in the wrong compartment of your heart, let's put it that way. Whether it's an individual,

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it's a person that you were very attached to, maybe it's your job, maybe it's your money, sometimes, and very often, it's your children. And you can actually love these people in a way that is unhealthy. You can actually love your money in a way that's unhealthy, you can love your career in a way that's unhealthy. And when you do that, losing, it becomes something that isn't just upsetting, but it can become absolutely devastating. It can be a absolute devastation, depending on many factors, but one of the factors has to do with the type of attachment. So what I do and transformed as I cover the, the whole spectrum, sort of starting with attachments, understanding the nature of

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attachments, understanding, you know, what's the difference between a false unhealthy attachment and a healthy attachment? And very important, what is the difference between love and attachment. And I explain that when when we talk about unhealthy attachments, it is very, very different than healthy love. Because some people can become very confused and be like, Okay, I don't want to get hurt. So I'm just going to, you know, I'm just going to close myself off from everything, right? That's also very unhealthy. Because obviously, we know, Mohamed Salah Salem, he loved his wife, he loved his children, he loved his companions, but he did not have an unhealthy attachment to them. And in fact,

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nobody lost as much as he did look at I mean that the prophets, I seldom lost every single one of his children, except one. You know, think about that, not just one, he lost his parents when he was a child, he was an orphan. He lost his wife, he lost his uncle, he was constantly dealing with loss, he had to bury all of his children except Fatima are the line her. So he knew loss. But he also loved them. So how did he do that? How did he handle that? And, and, you know, you might say, well, he was a prophet, but but in fact, he was a human. And we have to remember that he was a human, he wasn't an angel. He was he was a human being. And Allah subhanaw taala chose him as an example. Why

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so that we can emulate him so that we can relate to him, we have to stop, you know, thinking about prophets as something that we can emulate. Because what's the point then, they were sent as human beings in order for us to emulate, right? We're not going to become like prophets. But we are meant to emulate them. And that's why they were human, Allah subhanaw taala sent human beings rather than angels to bring His message. So here we see that the prophets I send them, he dealt with heartbreak, again, and again and again, how did he do it? And it begins with having these healthy attachments, this the healthy type of love, you don't close yourself off, but rather you and you don't go to the

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other extreme, either, which is revolving your existence around these things. So So you know, we see this, this extends to extremes, where on the one hand, there is the people who for self preservation, they say, You know what, I'm just not going to love anything or anyone, I'm just going to cut myself off, or I'm just going to harden my heart, right. I mean, maybe they love but they become very detached, right, very detached, very hard, maybe they become numb as as a sort of a

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self preservation as self preservation and as a protect. This is, you know, a protective measure that they use. And, and so by by becoming numb, though, that isn't healthy either. Keep in mind that if a heart is numb, it also cannot connect to Allah subhanaw taala properly. Right. And you probably have been through experiences like this, where maybe you dealt with trauma, and without healing that trauma. You you became numb. And maybe while you were numb, you realize that it actually took away your joy. Yeah, maybe it took away the

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sharp pain, but it also took away your joy. And maybe it also took away your closeness to Allah subhanaw taala. So it robs you of, of maybe the pain, but it also robs you of the joy and the nd the deep joy of connecting to Allah subhanaw taala. So numbing yourself isn't the solution either. But then there's the other extreme where, where we actually revolve our lives around these objects of attachment, whether they're our, you know, our, our children, our spouse, our parents, sometimes I've heard many, many cases of people who actually have very unhealthy attachments to their parents. Sometimes it's our job or money status. Sometimes it's just generally what other people think,

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right? We become so obsessed with that. And it becomes a very unhealthy type of attachment. And so when we are tested in those things, it doesn't just break our heart, it shatters it, it devastates us, it breaks us. And so understanding it at the root, where we talk about attachments, is very, very important when talking about how to transform a broken heart and how to transform through a broken heart. So this class is something that, like I said, I was able to really put it together online and and make it accessible globally, right. So what it does is when you register, you get the access, you get this lifetime access. But you also get the access to these, these live q&a is where

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it's a lot of time I just rattle through these questions, you get to interact with the material, then you get to come back and ask your questions live. And you get these of course, all of this is recorded, you get access to it. So if you can't attend live or you can't,

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you know, you want to rewatch any of the material you have all of that access for like for lifetime. And registering for it, you can go to the to the link on the chat. But it's an mecanum zone online. I've actually literally just launched today, the the access to register, it's just open today. So basically, if you're watching this live, you're getting first access, it's just literally dropping right now. And it's only going to be open for a limited time. So they just open registration for a limited time. And then whoever registers during that time, inshallah will have that access. Now one inshallah wrap up with this. When we talk about healing, right, when we talk about broken hearts,

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when we talk about why do we experience pain, there's a specific area in the Quran that always jumps out. And and, and I think it really summarizes the formula for healing. And, and one thing I think is so beautiful about this area, so this area, and it's two areas at the end of sorbitol hedge. And in this area, Allah subhanaw taala, he addresses the prophets, I send them. And he says, first of all, something that's so comforting, he acknowledges the pain that the prophesy centum is going through. And I just I just want to say that, you know, there's a lot of research in psychology and in counseling, that points to the fact that just having an empathetic ear is the majority of

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healing, when it comes to therapy, that they found that, you know, when they when they examined all the different techniques of therapy and all the different techniques of counseling, they found that the vast majority of it is just

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feeling that someone is listening, that someone understands and that someone cares, and that that actually was the most effective aspect of of therapy. And that's so powerful, right? Because it's exactly what Allah does. Allah subhanaw taala acknowledges our pain, Allah sees our pain, Allah subhanaw taala says when I have ocra Bucha human Haglund worried And We are nearer to them, then his own jugular vein, the jugular vein is our lifeline. The jugular vein is what keeps us alive, right? If you and if you want to end like like when when when they're slaughtering an animal, then you go for the jugular, because that is the quickest way to end the life. Our jugular is our lifeline and

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Allah is closer than that. So Allah is closer to us than our own life. Allah is closer to us than our own self. He says we're not going to get caught up with a human hug Realty. So coming full circle back to the idea of a professor, right? Where are the professors far away during our tests, the professor can't help you. The professor has to sit in his or her chair away from you while you're in your test. But Allah is not like that Allah is with us, with us in the test. And we are not doing the test on our own. Allah is with us so long as we turn to him, so long as we're not turning away from him in our tests, so long as we're not closing the door and just relying on

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ourselves. Allah is with us. And so Allah is near and Allah sees. Remember that Allah sees every single thing that you're going through Allah Subhan

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fantasies, every tear that you should, Allah's fantasies, every wrong that's been done to you every oppression, Allah sees it. And that in and of itself is healing, just having it be seen and having it be understood, not just by a human being, and that's, that's its own, you know matter when it comes to therapy and very important by the way, but that Allah also sees it. And first and foremost Allah sees it, and Allah acknowledges it. You know, so many times in the Quran, I'm just blown away, but how much Allah acknowledges the pain of people, you know, when he acknowledges the pain of the prophets, I send them in this at the end of sort of a hedge. He says, I know that what they're

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saying is, it's hurting you it's, it's causing distress, you know, this narrowness in the chest. He says, I know that it is it is hurting you. Allah is acknowledging the pain of the Prophet size. And then Allah subhanaw taala acknowledged the pain of a woman who had to put her child in the river, he acknowledged the pain of Musa and she's not a prophet. She's a, you know, a regular lady who Allah subhanaw taala honors and acknowledges he acknowledges her pain. Allah subhanaw taala acknowledges a woman who was complaining about her husband and so that then McGeady Allah, Allah sees, and Allah acknowledges, so recognize that you're not invisible. You know, I think a huge part of why we suffer

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is when we feel like we're all alone in our pain, or that no one knows or no one sees. No one understands, you know, this isolation, where people feel isolated in their pain, that is what really, really makes people suffer. And if you can, if you can realize that you're not alone in your pain, and that and that and that you're not

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invisible and that Allah sees and you know, subhanAllah one thing that totally blew me away is when Allah subhanaw taala said in the Quran about only Musa the mother of Musa that he returned her child to her and when he says why I'm just I was it like actually blew me away

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what other now Elomi he came to Korea I know how Allah Hassan so Allah says that we returned Musa to his mother and look at why now this is really really deep just listen carefully. Kato quadro I know her, so that her eyes so that so that she would have comfort? Okay, so so that she would have coolness to her eyes is literally what it means. So that she would be comforted. Okay, so think about this. And I just want to remind you, she is a woman, a woman in history, right? And she's, she's not a prophet, she's a woman. Think about this, the pain of one woman was so important to Allah, that he returned Musa and Islam to her, and then put it in the Quran. For the end of time,

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that this is how important the pain of one woman was. And Allah did something like he, he did. He, he, he made this miracle happen, right, the return of Musa to his mother was a miracle, it was divine intervention, he made this miracle happen, just so that one woman could have comfort, and look at the next part, while and so that she wouldn't be sad. And I was so blown away by this. Because I think that when we're when we're in the midst of our sadness, we sometimes might feel like no one cares, or no one sees and no one understands. But look at this, look how important. And you know, I think another thing that sort of happens when we're in the midst of sadness is that we feel

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like our feelings aren't that important. Maybe maybe because they aren't important to the people around us. Right? Maybe we're surrounded by people who kind of,

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sort of, you know, like, de legitimize our feelings, or maybe diminish our feelings, maybe don't acknowledge, don't make it very important, maybe sort of kind of, like, you know, get over it, or like, you know, like, like, stop complaining or be grateful, right? And sometimes, because of that, we might feel that our feelings don't matter, or our sadness isn't important. But Subhanallah look at this, look at how important the sadness of one woman was to God, that he returned, he did this miraculous thing that would be remembered until the end of time in the final holy book. Right? Why? So that one woman could have comfort and that she wouldn't be sad. That's so deep right? Because

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you know, the K letter so what other now we let only K to zero? I know how well that lesson, so that her her she would be comforted. And she would not be sad, while it's ILM and nawada LoJack. And then the final reason that he says, is that social

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She would know that the Promise of Allah is true. So Subhan Allah, Allah sees the pain, Allah sees the sadness. And Allah subhanaw taala as promise is true, what is Allah subhanaw taala as promised, Allah subhanaw taala is promise is that if you turn to Him, and you depend on Him, He will always save you. And just like he saved every single one of his prophets, and every one who came before who turned to him, and who relied on him, he saved every single one of them. And subhanAllah we see this throughout the Quran, he saved Yunus, from from this impossible situation in the belly of the whale. He saved he saved Musa alayhis salam in this impossible situation in front of the Red Sea with an

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army behind him of Pharaoh. He saved Iacobelli Salam you returned usif to him and Binyamin to him. He he saved hagit In the middle of a desert. What do you do in the middle of a desert, there's no one there, there's no water, and you're alone with a child and you're near death. And he saved them through miraculous means. And so this is what Allah does. He saves his slaves, he saves the ones returned to him. And that is the most important takeaway, honestly, is that ALLAH SubhanA phantasies. Allah subhanaw taala cares, Allah subhanaw taala understands. And Allah subhanaw taala saves. And that's why when Allah subhanaw taala told the prophesy Selim and say, so he acknowledges

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his pain we know, Lord Nullam, Allah says, Indeed, we know that, that that it's constraining your chest, what they're saying that it's hurting you what they're saying, the words of people are very, very powerful. They can they can, they can build or they can destroy a person's heart. And so we have to acknowledge that our words are very powerful, and words are very powerful upon us. And then finally, ALLAH SubhanA, Allah says, He gives them the formula, he tells him what to do with that broken heart, and the pain that's being caused to him for sebec behandelt obika or Stockfish know Allah subhanaw taala tells him to actually to elevate or to to exalt Allah subhanaw taala.

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So, so there's actually two parts to this to this formula. One is that he tells him to exalt Allah subhanaw taala so exalting Allah, making Allah subhanaw taala bigger in your life, that is going to heal your heart faster, that when you exalt Allah subhanaw taala this, this facade. It doesn't just mean saying Subhanallah but just exalting Allah's position in your life. Rather, so it's it's it's facade the facade back behind the Rebecca. So it's, it's, it's exalt with the praises of Allah. So you have here, it's exalting Allah in your life, but also hand hand is praising Allah, it's thanking Allah, it's gratitude, right. And this is its own subject, which which I do touch upon in the class,

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but the but the power of gratitude, to heal. And then finally, what could mean a sedge dean? And be among those who humble themselves? Who who prostrate. So the formula Allah sinusitis given the prophets I send him in his time of heartbreak, is exalting Allah, thanking Allah praising Allah and humbling oneself, humbling oneself, not to people of course, we are humbled with people, but when we break we break to Allah subhanaw taala and humbling yourself to Allah subhanaw taala is the fastest way to heal. According Cody Heather was stuck for a lonely welcome in our Hunan Rahim Subhanak Hello behind that shadow Ana Illa, Allah and iStockphoto to like, encourage you in sha Allah to register.

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The link is on the chat. You know, please do you know those whether you're watching this live where you're watching the recording, let us know your comments, let us know, you know where you're tuning in. I know we got a couple people, many people at the beginning Spatola it's such a global community. It's amazing that this OMA is connected through La ilaha illallah all over the world and and Hamdulillah we got technology to connect us we have technology to provide, you know this course, which was before, not accessible, you know, all over the world. You know, I could only be at one place at one time, but it hamdulillah it's made it accessible. We can get your questions live and

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show them when you register. But right you know, share with us share with us your thoughts, your feedback, again, whether you're live or watching it recorded and let us know where you're where you're joining from. Shall I look forward to seeing a lot of you know, in the class, you know, coming up, it's just open today it's gonna it won't be open permanently. It's going to be closing and Schulen just a few weeks and then in sha Allah once we launch the class and shall I hope to see you does ACMA located on the Santa Monica Morabito Allah who will