Everything You Need To Know Before Marriage

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Waleed Basyouni

Channel: Waleed Basyouni

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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My brother once came to me and he said, Jeff, I want to talk to you before I make a very important decision in my life. I said, go ahead, and we went outside, we will start talking. And I can tell when someone who's like, in deep distress, that usually it is a family problem. And he said to me, she is sad to tell you that I kind of lost my love for my wife,

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and I want to divorce her,

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then we'll start talking about what that means, you know,

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marriages always goes up and downs, you know, what do you mean by I lost my love for her?

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Then you start explaining to me and they said, hey,

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when you have a car, and you run out of gas, what do you do with the car?

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He said, I refill it. I said, you don't just go dump it, you know, you didn't go to sell it or put it in the, you know, junkyard, you just refill the gas. How about if we work in reignite that love in your heart towards your spouse, She's a good woman, she wants you.

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And you can have that, you know, you can, you can basically have that love that spark coming again. Then we start working on certain, you know, a plan. And what's made me so happy to this to see this brother years later on, and martial law, his own business, and he grow a lot.

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Because I realized that at that time, he was under just a lot of stress. He was just in medical school and about to graduate. And he's he she met me with toolkits. And he said, Jeff, I just want to thank you.

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You know, thank you for the advices that you have given me.

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The reason I'm bringing this story to you is because everything I said to that man, it's in my course.

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What I'm really grateful and thankful to Allah subhanaw taala for that I was able to teach that course long time ago. And it gave me a lot of information, and helped me to be able to help a lot of people. But instead of just helping one person, I hope through this course, I'll help a lot of people, inshallah Tada, who will be taking this course and benefiting from it. A sister came to me, and she was confused,

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does not start, I said to her, hey, just said.

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She said,

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I'm scared, I'm afraid. Why? She's cheff. My relationship with my husband is just terrible. Then if I know that she is living actually, in some domestic abuse.

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We talked

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for quite a time.

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We talked again, and I just told her, let me talk to your husband, I talked to the husband. And I said to her, you're my advice. She said, Yes. I said, you need to get divorce.

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She don't listen to me. She listened to other advisors, some local, maybe religious leaders who always like a note and will not go to the side of divorce, which is I understand.

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Family scaring her how you will. And I said sister children, she had children, as a sister in your circuit. In your case, I will tell you, it's much better for your children to grow up in a stable home, where there is no abuse, then living this kind of life. You know, what is the typical and I lost my dad. Anyway, we talked

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as Paola. She decided to go with the divorce. She got divorced. And she was so worried about what's after divorce.

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And later on, she sent me a message. She moved to another state. And she said she had my life is just excellent.

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And I'm so glad that I took your advice. I wish I took this advice. I wish that someone gave me this advice years ago.

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This course is not about promoting divorce, but it's about promoting right choices.

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This course is not about breaking actually, this course is about building relationships. But it will help you to make the right choice even if it's tough.

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And there's a fine line here needs to be addressed. And that's one of the unique things about this course and I hope you will be able to see that as you take this course and you go through the modules of this course inshallah to Allah and we can achieve that, you know, skill together. One of the things that this course deals with is helping you

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To make

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big decisions and to make the right choice, when it comes to big decision to make in life, it starts with this big decision of is this the right one to be married to or not.

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And if you don't

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follow the proper methods, and you benefit from the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah and guidance that is given to you by people have so much experience in this area,

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the risk is so high is to be married to the wrong person.

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You know, also another big decision sometimes, you know, to make decisions when it comes to, you know, conflicts in the relationship. When do you say, you know, what, that's not working out between us and when you say no, it is, and it needs 123 to be changed, things will be better, you know, there is big decisions, when it comes to nurture relationships, you know, decision to say, you know, when is I draw the line, and where the line is drawn, when and there is boundaries and relationships, these are big decisions to be made, you know, when it comes to in laws and relationships,

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one of there is a pressure of my parents to divorce my wife.

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And this course will enable you to make the right decisions in these areas and and much more. So I hope, inshallah Tada by knowing that it will help you to make right choices, because wrong choices and wrong decisions in these areas can be very, very

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bad. And it has a long term effect psychologically financially on the person, and vice versa, right choices in these areas, or have a long term effect on how happy you are live will be a shallow data in this dunya. And the next, as an instructor, as a professor in this institute, I have the options to teach many courses. But this is one of the courses that I taught very, very early on time. Why? And why do I'm teaching it now and coming back to it. And I will continue to teach about this topic and about the subject. The reason for this, because as an imam who deal with with so many issues of my community, I can tell you number one issue that I deal with in my community is marital

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relationships. Number one issues that are of concern to so many young brothers and sisters is about marriage, and should I get married and who do I married and how to find the right person. And I'm so worried about marriage, you know, there is a lot of concerns and a lot of need for this issue to be addressed. Another reason

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I'm really excited about this course, and about teaching this subject in particular, because I see the needs of providing a good clean, guided by Allah subhanaw taala messenger sallallahu alayhi wa salam, and the beauty of our Islam, guided curriculum or if you wish, guidelines when it comes to marital relationships and love. When people talk about love and relationship with the opposite gender. Unfortunately, many people their mind will go to many things other than the prophets of Psalms life, and the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah. So this is something that deeply make me sad. And I hope through this course, I show how beautiful our religion is, and how beautiful examples we

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have in our tradition that can help people and very relevant until today, to the situation that we're going through.

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Because I do believe if there is baraka in the marriage, the marriage would be so extra successful. So that's something I care deeply about. Another point, that for me is very personal. Because I have seen a lot of people abused their religion when it comes to marital relationships.

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And they want to make sure to clear the fox to clear the misconceptions. And a lot of people they

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use the religion for their personal interest or for to justify their bad behaviors, or their greed. You know, I want to make sure through this course, to clear this issue, and to make it clear, whereas a slight slump stance, also many of the contemporary issues today needs clarifications.

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And where Islam stands on, and you will find maybe

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many times very extremes views or views that's unrelated to our situation here in the west. So

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I want to make sure to provide answers for these issues and solutions for it as well. That's what really motivated me to teach this course. And it got me excited to, to be able to share this knowledge and experience with my brothers and sisters around the world. How do I know the solutions works, because it did in the past, with so many people, I'm one of the people who have benefited a lot from this course. And I can tell you, I personally have become much better husband, because of this course. And I can tell you many people share the same thing through the years I've been teaching this for decades now for a decade, almost 10 years. And the reviews and the people sharing

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their experience is just, it's overwhelming.

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Any good news and good reviews that make me feel that this is you know, what an important topic to continue to teach. So, obviously, one of the things that I'm looking forward for is to hear your experience after taking the course and how you felt about and how those helped you to be a better husband and a better wife and Faircloth love, I help you from the beginning

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to find the right persons to make the right decision, inshallah Tada and to figure out how to build on this to have a very successful relationship, this course start from before marriage during marriage and after marriage. And I mean by after marriage, if there is, God forbid, Allah forbid a conflict that lead to dissolving the relationships, what are your rights, what are the proper way of dealing with that? And Islam have provided so much guidance and so many solutions to these problems and hamdulillah

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also, as this marriage grow, how can we maintain it? How can we keep our marriage fresh, and this is a big challenge, you know, how to improve our communications because this is number one problem in marital relationships and this course, focus on this area, not only me,

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but also there is many people are contributing to this course to the course materials. We have a licensed therapist, a licensed

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counselor psychiatrics we have lawyers who will help you and give you many good advices inshallah Allah as I found it very valuable extra materials that have been added to this course. And this course will break some

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materials or some topics that considered taboo, like sexual relationships, even though it is one of the top reasons for

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Yanni for marital problems and people who are suffering in this marriage but they can talk about it. We will talk about how can you talk about it, how can you address some of these issues? Some of these concerns inshallah to Allah during this course. So make sure that you take advantage of the course register and join us in this beautiful journey of love, Phillip of love