Bulugh Al Maram – Book of Etiquette & Manners #04 – Hadith No. 1236

Waleed Basyouni


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smilla hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He was so happy woman wa about all praise to Allah His praise and blessings and peace be upon him Muhammad sal Allahu Allahu Allah or sotheby about.

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So we talked about the first right, which is when you meet your brother you give him or give her Salaam. And

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we said also about if he invited, if he invites you, you accept the invitation. And we said that the majority of the scholars limited this invitations to the invitation for the wedding. But we said it is recommended to accept any invitation that comes from your brothers and, and friends. And we said that the correct opinion as well it is recommended to answer the invitation. Unless there is a reason a valid Islamic reason not to go to that wedding

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Now the third one we're going to talk about it which is what either stunts aka fun.

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And if he asks you for an advice, you should advise him. Okay.

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By the way for the sisters, if you guys want we have the the area here in the mustards.

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Ready an empty for you guys if you want to come forward.

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And those Hadeeth establish a very important rule, which is

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that part of the rights and part of the etiquettes of Islam towards one another, that we advise one another?

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And also it shows us that we should we should seek the advice because we'll call it the stone fog man and that that's honestly so you ask for advice. So that means the Muslim should ask for the advice should seek it should go and reach out and say, brother

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sama, can you please advise me about this? That's that's basically part of the etiquette that we learn from this. And also when someone asks you for advice that you give them the advice and allama Rahim Allah tada debated

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Hallelujah, edgy, bionic and dancehall un* established and dancehall is it upon you. Or you must give him that advice, or it is only recommended for you to give him the advice. And I do believe that the opinion that it is must. It goes on the same line of the Sharia to offer the Sharia. Because this is a benefit. When I go and ask you for advice. You must give me the advice. You don't cheat me. You don't basically betray me. You don't give me at nothing. You don't deceive me. You don't mislead me. Okay, so if I go, for example, to Abdullah and I say I need your advice. Do my car need an oil change?

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Okay, and I'm Delos site.

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Yes, it does. And it doesn't.

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He just said that because you want to make extra money from me. He didn't give me then I'll say,

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Okay, in this case, he has sinned. Or he tells me if I tell him, Okay, I'm gonna do this on he said, You know what, I'm not gonna tell you. And I asked for example, is this good for me? And he doesn't give me that advice. And I'm gonna handle said, in this case he has forsake his Muslim brother, you because you should give a sincere advice to your brother and your sisters. They

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can anyone think of another scenario

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where the advice must be given. So the first scenario, I come to you, and I tell you, can you advise me about this? What another scenario you think that also the advice is must

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now a scenario like a general marriage, you can come to me and said, Okay, what do you think of so and so to marry? Now I'm talking about other than you coming to ask for advice. Hmm.

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Very good, hot, but said properly. Very good. So the issue here is that he doesn't ask you for advice. You go and give the advice voluntarily.

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By a question Is it wajib upon me

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Only if I know the tea is going to be basically going in trouble and harm, and I can save the person. And I know I can save the person and they keep quiet. Then the socket and an help chip on a house. If you know the truth, and you know the right thing and you keep quiet, you're like, a silent devil.

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A silent shavon. Because you have to speak you have to say that you're I know that this is how I'm and I only if I know that I can save. And I know that it is basically going to harm the person other than random I said, No, it will be recommended only. And that's for me more alley, aka the Sharia. It's recommended for you to go and volunteer the advice. But it is one tip if you ask the advice,

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because you really don't know. And also it became very hard if you imagine I have to advise every some everyone that I seen doing something wrong.

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Can you imagine how hard this is? That's almost impossible. Any, let's say I am good at knowing the rules of Sharia. Can you imagine how many people I see every day doing things that I don't believe it's the sun? I don't believe it's correct. Well, I'm not gonna go home.

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Because I'm gonna, hey, please do this. Please, you doing this? Please do that play? If it's watch, it became very hard.

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So here we say no, it is highly recommend to volunteer that naziha. But if he asked you for the nasiha, you must give him the nasiha only if you have the knowledge, if you know the answer.

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Matter of T you don't make your own or you make up an answer. No, you only say that advice if you know the answer for it. Somebody asked me Shahada and what you think is better is to open an account and business for example, this way or that way this medicine or that medicine? I don't know. I will say

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I'm not a doctor to tell you.

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But if I know I will tell you but if I don't know you're not supposed to give the advice. I have an earlier Matt said something important. condo, and Reba The Jews FEMA Carmen naziha

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and Ramallah him Allah said when it comes to advise, you are allowed to say the truth even if it is a back bite. What's back biting Omar?

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Is backbiting allowed or not allowed? base

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not allowed to back by to say bad things about person in his back? They What if 100 comes and asked me

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Okay, what do you think? Okay, of this

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for my brother to marry?

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What do you think of her?

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And I know about this woman certain things like for example, I know that she doesn't pray or she met for example, you drugs.

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bad thing? That's right. Can I tell him that this woman is not a good woman for her brother because she used drugs?

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Would that be considered backbiting? Yes, but it is allowed? Why? Because I'm giving you an advice. Hey, can I go partner use of an AMA together in this business? I said

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not advise you he's a stingy guy. He don't want he's so hard to deal with. You know, don't go with him. Okay, stay away from him as much as you can. Okay, so you know, it just it's a back bite but it's allowed. What's the proof for that? font the web interface came to the prophets of Salaam and Cydia rasulillah. I have several men proposed to me to cut them a mineral john, who? Maria,

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Marvin, me, Sofia. He said a mama our local Amala

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he said Wow, we are so lucky and a loser has no money at shows you if you don't have money.

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Stay home. We look for a job. You know, don't look for a wife and look for a job first before you look like one guy came once. He went to marry a sister here in the mustard. And he told me I want to marry this sister. I said okay, how much money you can give her. He said I can't offer any more. I said $500 he said I don't have $500 I said if you didn't.

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You need to look for a job not for a wife.

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He said chicken shallow and I take her. Allah will make me rich. I said no, it's not true.

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You didn't know the story of that. millionaire

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you know the story of the millionaire Bob avoid. A guy was asked how he became a millionaire. He said my wife made me a millionaire. He said, How come he said I used to be a billionaire?

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a millionaire. Okay.

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So here we say that marriage is expense is responsibility. That's why I lost while I said, well Melania stop me in Poland and Yankee. Those are Pollyannaish man, those who don't have money to marry.

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That's why the man Malika himolla used this verse to say, the dowry is a must in the marriage is wajib so here we say that he said he is has no money don't marry him. Then she sat on also apple jam.

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apple jam is a man who also proposed to her he sits on them. Um, apple jam for a while bar will Assa and

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he always carrying the stick a learner myself carrying the stick means what? Muhammad? levar Lawson atapi what do you think that means?

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He hits a lot. You're always abuser. He's aggressive. Also could means Cathedral suffer any diamond Hamel matter. He travels a lot. He puts because in the old days, they put their cloth on the stick and carry it or he traveled with the stick a lot. So either his travels a lot. So you know, he's not around. He's not a kind of family man. Or he's aggressive.

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person who hits a lot. Don't marry him. Then he recommended first to marry who Sam.

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They These are words and things which is negative. That's not a backbite.

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In that was not backbiting for the profits on

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a set of one RGB for nausea and nausea, nausea, the word NASA listen to this Omar, NASA in Arabic language means hausa it means purity. In naseeha it means like when you take the honey if you ever see the honey and you clear the honey from all the things that are attached to it from all the you know, the the the

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comb, yeah, the comb that in it, and you clear it and it became pure liquid that we call Nussle. Hello, Sally and Carlos that's a pure honey so that's the mean something so pure to you there is no interest no personal interest is not like what Abdullah said change the oil because you want to get me changed oil to get him money. That's not to say

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because he's not sincere. Or this said Oh, don't do this. Don't do that because I have a special interest. So Omar for example, will tell his sister don't eat this. It's not good for your health. He doesn't care about her all he wants to eat that candy later on. You see, so that's basically there's no no see here play

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a setup they will give them a see how even if it goes against themselves

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and they will give no Say hi to everyone that they can an abuse of some set

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upon by Rasul Allah Allah no cynically Muslim, I give my Legion to Mohammed Salim that I will give advice to every Muslim

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to the extent one day jarier his servant is Tara Farah Salah whom he said

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he purchased

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he purchased you cannot hear me.

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Okay, so he purchased

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a horse for 300 Durham. And when he sold the hearse, he said this horse is original horse. It worth way more than 300. Then he went back to that seller.

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The servant said I was good. I managed to get it for 300 I squeezed the guy because he needs money. He said no, that's not let's see how that you're not being sincere. You're not being advice. That's against the advice. The advice is not to do that. You should advise him not to give it to you for 300 He is the buyer. He went back to the seller and he said your horse horse worth more than 300.

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Then he said how much you want to add? He said 100 more

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Then he said it worth more 500 more 600 more to do a lie It's worse, worth more famous enemy had to come in we'll be selling me some anaemia.

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He bought it for 800 Can you imagine he gave him $500 extra? And he said, I think that's a very good price.

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I hope that this is can reach so many Muslims

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who this squeezed the heck out of you when they come to make a business deal with you?

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Especially if you're a Muslim brother.

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You're my Muslim brother. Yeah, no, it means I have to give it everything for free. Or I can give you everything with the losses.

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You know, then people complain. That's not correct. You should care about the right price for the right service for the right. Basically thing it's not they said ciabatta is not a you know, I'm a smart I managed to get it. You know, I make the guy lose money. That's not right. If you want to give as a gift, it's okay. doesn't charge me anything. You know, that's fine. Does that Thank you, you know how much you know give me you know, pancake you know he charged me for one and you know, give me an excellent for free. I'm happy. Okay, so but it's not to get what you don't deserve.

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ebenen man Dr. Him. obon Madhya Rahim Allah Khan mahratta niaf borromean Oba I never seen with my eyes better than these four people. And listen carefully the qualities of these four people that made them the best for men he ever met. Connemara I fallen in Hades, Minnesota. I've never seen anyone memorize many narrations like a 31 I said to Dr. Seuss and min shorba and he never seen anyone has no interest in this world. They live like Sherpa What are appalam in magic and no one has so much wisdom like magic. So intelligent.

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What are unsaddled omatoiminen mobarak and they never any seen anyone who give advices to the masses like Adnan Mubarak.

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The owner also talked about that you should give the advice in the nice way you should get advice in a nice way lava tonsai Botanica Jamia

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you know, it's it's not right that I advise you in a mean band why I should be smart in the way I give you the advice

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there is to young men

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like Abdullah

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para let's say Bob and Yosef. Okay, same age and Hasson when

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they are young. They saw this old uncle like me,

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I'm not too old. Like

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who? Okay, like I came.

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Okay. You know, making mobile hub of ice hockey.

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He is making mobile but he's not doing the work correct.

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So the filt it's a honestly Ansel cabbie as a not a right that me as a young person to advise this old man about something so simple like we'll look

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so what did they do? Anybody knows? They told him listen to this somebody's gonna like that place. And they said to the men yonko can you watch both of us making mobile and tell us which one do the better

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we are the grandchildren of Mohammed's awesome Can you tell us which one making the the best so they made the wall in front of him two times so he can learn and after the both finish he said to them, I got it caught up into for him I understand what you're trying to do. While I you both knows how to make although and I don't. Now I know how to make but see how smart This is in giving the advice in a nice way.

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Jaffe Sorry about that.

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And boom, Baraka him. Oh, Baba, offer Allah. Yoko khadim to Sham Allah Akbar Imam arafa to Bella the Sham small and intimate ozai who Matthew Beirut Rahim Allah

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anyway, is Amazon still existing dimension?

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No, it just didn't recognize that is basically a known in history as part of Damascus. kochava had dimension anyway. So I was I Rahim Allah.

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He was in Beirut in the end of his life. He lived there until he died. Suddenly Mubarak came to him. feroza is a great moment Jose in the same level, it was terrible. It was at the same level of Shafi Malik an American he Solazyme. He came and he was holding an amendment I was at his horse and camel Malik Malik was a king without crown.

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Many couldn't remember

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his appeal Malika, Malika nejm Malik is the star of the scholar would you saw it I was a Medina he went outside of his house and he was holding the camel and pulling the camel while I was on the top of the cap. Just imagine that to understand what kind of man we talked about. So I was IRA him a lot when he saw him robotic and vertical so known but much younger.

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Then he said Yahoo Dasani.

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Manhattan, Teddy Kennedy, hello jabril Kufa T, you can be Abu hanifa

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he said yahoo. rasanya hora because normobaric from karate. He said, Who's this smooth, tender innovator who came up who came from Kufa known as Abu hanifa.

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How to follow jack to elevate, I came back to my house. And in my heart, I felt so bad, the T cold Abu hanifa innovator and he said bad things about about Hanif.

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And he said, I went back to my book and I got some of Abu hanifa as answers and fatwas and things that he said

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to me, Messiah, Abu hanifa, God massage, I collect some of the answers and some of the things that he said, and that Heidi the tenure rate and the issue that he talked about. And he said for three days, after three days, I came.

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And I saw allows IRA him a whole lot, called then called the IBAMA and led the Salah.

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And I had this book by hand, I made a copy.

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And he said what book you have in your hand, I said, this is a book, I want you to look at it. So I was there to look at the book. And he started looking at the issues in the books. And he liked it. And he said,

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he said after he called Then he looked at the book that I have. He said he kept standing, reading, reading, reading until the APA came. And the people gathered waiting for him. He handling the book. He meant this a lot. That isn't Bring me the back. Let me look more in this in this book and see what this man was saying until the fees finish. He said

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yeah, Hassani.

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Who's the one who wrote this book? Who's the one who answers this question? It's such a beautiful answer. There's so much knowledge. Who's that person that signed by the name of a man? Who's that man?

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Every the answers by a man who's an avid, I don't know who that person is. But this answer shows that this is a great scholar

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that he said to him, he said, he is from Iraq. He said, I think that's the best model and I've ever produced and never heard of anyone like this. And then he said, That's Abu hanifa that he talked about three days ago.

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And he said a stove,

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a stove. And from that moment, I wasn't it changes position from a bouhanni for 180 degree.

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And he actually saw praising him. And he met Abu hanifa Fie Mecca. And he mentioned Tim some of the things that you read in the book, and Abu hanifa explain it even more. And in Isaiah Rahim Allah said, This man has so much knowledge has so much what grok our respect and intelligence, a staff, Allah, I was in clear error

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about this man,

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study with him

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and go study under him. He told him about it.

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But my point from the story is to show you how nice

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he advises chef, that he was wrong about Abu hanifa in a very unique way,

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in a very unique way. Mara, Colorado lived in Mubarak held up a minion. So for Kawasaki and jacoba.

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Mubarak when somebody told him Do you still think that is still people like to give advice than he told him? You think that is still people like to hear that advice?

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That's more rare.

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And so Fianna 30 he said I told miss out, Nikki Damn, would you like someone to gifted you your mistakes?

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And he show you a mistake? Because if I tell you what's wrong about you? I'm doing this because I love you. I care for you. I want you to be the best.

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But listen to what Mr. Binky damn said. Carla manassa nam Minh more between Farah

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from someone saying it sincerely Yes. for someone to sing it to humiliate to me. No.

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I just want you to imagine

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what would you think about in the last moment of your life?

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I know you've never had this experience.

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But just imagine yourself now you're dying. What do you think you will talk about

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about things that are related to you or to your family or to someone you don't know?

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Well, most most likely you think about

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about yourself how to survive this right? And Ibiza Salam upon his death. All what he was talking about is us the Muslim ummah.

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A salatu salam Ala Moana get a monochrome OC can Vanessa OC can be used to be an EMA use UCB awatea can I beat you cibilia Tamar, UC Sala he talking about the importance of Salah the importance of treating slaves good. treating the weak, good treating women good treating girls good treat, talk about the salaah. So that's Tukwila. He's not talking about himself because he's so sincere.

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Another incident that really strike me

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when I first read it and first time in my life, which is quite

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you know, modern hip hop

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aroma rhodiola and you know, the process of the best companion he was stopped by for a while he is he stayed three days after he was stopped and he was bleeding so bad that to the extent

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doctor they said in the history when he was bleeding they used to give him an obese in obese it's basically a water that they put in at what

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sugary things like dates or grapes to have a lot of sugar and you drink it and they thought this will be something basically I think to give him a strength because he losing a lot of blood and fluid That's right. So when they give it to him they notice that the water coming from his guts

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so whatever that cut because he will stop civil ones then the said the doctor said let me check so the doctor said let's give him milk and when he sold the milk with the blood he said this man is dead

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he's never going to survive.

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I said just think that that's what how the doctor and then ration said he said when he sold the milk with the blood coming out from his guts he said this man is not going to survive

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so there's no such as at that time. So So when but I want you to imagine this you cut sit down properly

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so when you see that cut that situation in this situation, a young men walk in like Dr. Abdullah or your brother

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giving a saying to Omar yeah Omar, you have done this on us. And he said nice things about our mob and why he's leaving almost said stop. Come back.

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Can you imagine he's dying?

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He's the halifa the whole thing is it come back

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para Abdullah

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in the arthrobacter musbema

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arafat Oba for in unkindly sobek Arabic.

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He said, I see that you wearing a garment that is so long and dragging in the floor,

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on the ground, and for Muslims, we're not allowed to wear something that dry touch the ground. The Muslims must win you

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astilbe like myself would wear a garment, you have to make sure that it doesn't go beyond your ankle. Okay, so the ankle is that limit. So he said, I see you dragging your soap,

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make it shorter, it will keep your clothes clean, and it will make your Lord pleased.

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See, he cared about this advice in the moment of his death.

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Because they know that advice is something important.

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I wanted to see how far we are from these examples, that we don't really care.

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You see your own family doing the bad thing, and you don't care, to speak to talk. And advice. It means talk doesn't mean force.

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We don't care that we see people doing things that harmful, but we don't talk about it.

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And we don't need to speak about it. And we know the thing that they need the most, and we don't talk about it. That's why in sometimes even in Dallas, you see some people don't like to talk about the thing that people need the most. I was invited once in California to give a talk. So the asked me to give the final of the agreed to let me give the hotma. But they said to me three things he cannot talk about in your hotma

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as near never had this before.

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Number one, you cannot talk about hijab.

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Number two, you cannot talk about because it's insult or embarrass people in the list. Number two, you cannot talk about selling alcohol. It's hot, um, or to mention it in your heart.

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And the third one, if I'm mistaken, you cannot talk or to praise or to say anything positive about Saudi Arabia.

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This is our three conditions.

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So I said I understand Saudi Arabia. I understand that Egypt but the Hummer is a new one than Iran on that one of the board is actually one of the biggest

00:32:09--> 00:32:10

distributor for

00:32:11--> 00:32:14

Budweiser in Southern California.

00:32:16--> 00:32:17


00:32:18--> 00:32:22

my hope well, you can hear it online, I think it's online. It's called the polluted wealth.

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My home was called the polluted wealth, a thorough autumn winter weather.

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And it's actually something that I'm very happy about. Guess what, the guy that they were trying to protect, came to me and thanked me for the hope of the most.

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And actually want me to come back.

00:32:45--> 00:32:55

And he told me how this hope means a lot to him. But around him people they have known as they want to suck his donation.

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They want to suck his contribution to the mustard, and the money that he gave, and it doesn't matter he goes to hell or not for them.

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And that's how I see it.

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And that's not correct.

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Then I'll see how sincere you really do it for the sake of Allah.

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I found out the biggest reason that we don't accept the advice from one another is arrogance.

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Who are you to tell me that I'm wrong.

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It just you too arrogant to admit that I'm younger than you. But I can tell you

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or she's a woman and you're a man or he's a man and you're a woman or he's an Arab and he's not Arab or he's This or this whatever. Whatever racism or prejudice that you have in your life prevents you from accepting that you're, I'm your father, he cannot advise me.

00:33:54--> 00:33:56

I became too arrogant to take it

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as not correct.

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Also, sometimes

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we don't accept the advice

00:34:06--> 00:34:24

by Nana see how NASA we mix between two things, the advice and the person. These completely two different things. For example, I come to Omar and I tell him Omar, you need to stop eating junk food.

00:34:26--> 00:34:37

And he will tell me, Baba, you always eat junk foot. Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you look like someone doesn't eat junk food? What make you junk?

00:34:39--> 00:34:40

junk food?

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See he mix between what the advice and the person

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you jealous of me. You hate me.

00:34:52--> 00:34:59

You don't like me? That's why you're saying this to me. See no separate the issue.

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From the person

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when we get this from Pilate, Nebojsa Salaam sadaqa waka zoo. Yes sir.

00:35:10--> 00:35:15

in Ibiza, salaam Tilda Bora, a shape on the Satan

00:35:16--> 00:35:30

came to Ohio in a shape of a person. And he told about something he said to him. When you go to bed, read ITIL Kersey. If you read ITIL courtesy before you go to bed, no shapen will ever bother you.

00:35:31--> 00:35:41

The prophets of Salaam said he said the truth, even he's a liar. He separated the two from each other. The advice is correct. Even the person is bad.

00:35:42--> 00:36:09

Sometimes we say Who are you to advise me? You are bad. You know, one, you're a sinner. You're this you're that? Don't do that. Sometimes advice someone keeps telling me, you doing it all the time. It's not your business. I it's not about me doing it all the time or not. That's wrong. When somebody advise you, you don't ever look at the person you look at the advice by itself.

00:36:10--> 00:36:12

And that's a very hard it's not easy.

00:36:14--> 00:36:15


00:36:16--> 00:36:26

an Imam even hasn't said something beautiful. However, I do have them several of them sub fading in sunlight but in the Sangha, onions, Armenian Sangha.

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Even Hezbollah him Allah said one of the worst manner when it comes to advice, when somebody gives you advice, you give him advice in return.

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And Haytham comes to me and said, Surely I have advice to you. Okay, about this, then I told them one, I have advice for you, too.

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You know, you also have this problem. That's very wrong.

00:36:54--> 00:36:57

When somebody gives you advice, you don't advise him back.

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Okay, I have advice for you about how you should approach me next time. You can't do that. That's very wrong. You take that advice. You wait, and if you have an advice for him, you do it later on. Okay? And once Abdur Rahman, the son of the lovely mustard and we end with this

00:37:22--> 00:37:23

a bit about who?

00:37:25--> 00:37:39

origin fraudulant Abba Takata huya about man Alemany Kelly Martin. Joanne no effect. Yes. Teach me few words. They're excellent advises

00:37:40--> 00:37:42

on very comprehensive advisors.

00:37:44--> 00:37:47

Listen to us and we end with this con.

00:37:48--> 00:37:50

With the last one are to Shrek be a

00:37:52--> 00:37:57

worship Allah And don't ever take partners with Allah in any matters.

00:37:59--> 00:38:02

was in my elbow on Haytham, Suzanne.

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Be with the Quran wherever the Quran takes you.

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Yeah, and until you do, sign up I just tell you don't do this. Don't do B always follow the Quran.

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Always be where the Quran is like these young men and young girls. They are here because there is a class and they come to learn whatever the Quran stick with it.

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Woman jacobin

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*able men who were in Canada Eden believer

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and if somebody tells you the truth, excepted, even if you can stand that person

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but he said the truth take even if you can stand him, woman accountable.

00:38:48--> 00:39:03

For the lie we're in Cana Habib and arriba and if somebody tells you bad thing, false hood, asked you to do something wrong. Don't even if he is the dearest person to you.

00:39:05--> 00:39:07

Yes, sir. What advice?

00:39:09--> 00:39:10

What advice?

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I asked Allah Allah to make us among those who have given us a a, and to always accept them. Because in Ibiza Salam said it's a Muslim, a dino naziha. The Dean the religion, one of the most important element and religion is unnecessary.

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We said yeah, no sort of law.

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advising and they'll say head to home. He said, lilla what else surely what he kitabi what a metal muslimeen. Well, I met him, you became having sincerity with a law, you sincere with that sort of life and so on, and you sincerely advise everyone, the leaders and the masses.

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With this, shall we stop and next week we'll talk about

00:39:58--> 00:39:59


00:40:00--> 00:40:13

I have an amazing information about sneezing. You remember last time I talked tell you that I will do some research about medical perspective. And there is a very interesting

00:40:14--> 00:40:20

study was made in UK on a person who almost got a brain damage.

00:40:21--> 00:40:23

I'll tell you about him next week, you know why?

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Because he held his nose and closed his mouth.

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When he sneezed

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he almost got

00:40:39--> 00:40:52

basically, you will hear what the report says about him. And because some people that a sneeze can reach to 100 mile per hour

00:40:54--> 00:40:59

an average person actually 30 miles per hour an average person

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and after we read this, you will know why we say

00:41:06--> 00:41:06


00:41:09--> 00:41:18

sneezing is a reset button. That's how the research of mayo clinic start. So next week shall talk about selling