Overcoming Haram Temptations
Date:
Channel: Wael Ibrahim
File Size: 36.07MB
AI Generated Transcript ©
You're watching a nice
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let's start Bismillah right why the title seven tips to remain addicted to pornography just a while ago I was you know talking with my wife and I was telling her come and help me out setting the camera and or and when she wrote when she read the title she was like seven tips to remain addicted Are you trying to tell the people get into the addiction or what what are you doing? So I explained to her that actually I receive a lot of emails where people will tell me
please give us some tips to help us break free from pornography. And I will do my very best to provide whether the free booklets that I have made available or I have that
email what I combined a lot of resources and I'm sending them to some people who request and so on. But I I get a lot of replies from those same people with excuses that they can do this tip they can go about this tip this tip for them is very difficult this approach is not possible and so on all excuses you know when you do not want to take the difficult way so that you can have a free life you know, you know those kind of people you know, perhaps we are guilty of this like we want an easy way a shortcut a pill you know that magical that could solve our problems. Many people fall into this trap of quick fixes which doesn't work in almost all cases. So unless you take the hard way unless
you step out of your comfort zone and do something really
you know, deserving something that that is apparently hard in the beginning but later on it gives you that freedom you won't be able to break free from addiction and this is for all
he said he will explain so come down
alright, does that block item for sharing and I wanted to Abdullah or Abdul I wanted everyone to be inshallah interacting with me I will be sharing point by point and then I want you to comment I want some insights from you so that we can you know, add value more value to the talk inshallah. But this is why I have actually
changed your heading mean hazzle Kabir you seem it has you didn't listen to the introductory why I have actually chosen this because according to the replies that I'm receiving from porn addicts, some of them they would say I don't want this tip I don't like this one I can do this I can do that. And I collected the I went through all these emails and I collected the seven most commonly used execuse for people
you know who don't want actually to break free from porn addiction because they're not following the instructions. So these seven most commonly used excuses I am I am combining them in this video.
Wait two minutes to start the topics.
Muhammad Hanif I have started the live broadcast and already I have gone for over seven minutes. So we are about to change. I will not change my heading mean hasn't covered. I think you have already understood why I have selected this topic. I have selected this topic because I have suggested a lot of good tips to many people in the past many years. And those seven tips. Those seven solutions actually were were rejected by many people. And that's why I said if you want to remain stuck in your addiction, all right. Do not follow these seven steps. So I'm just
using
this approach to just grab that attention that they are very, very important.
All right at first sight I got scared. Yes.
Bucky Bella Bucky Yes, that's that's the intention is to grab your attention. Hey, listen. There are
Seven Steps, there are sorry, there are seven tips that if you do not actually follow as an addict, and I'm not talking to you guys as addicts, I'm talking to you as educators, as parents, as Muslims in the communities who cared about, you know others, so that you know what to suggest to people who you may think that they are addicted, or perhaps they have confessed their addiction to you. And as a result, you want to help them out. Here are seven tips that if any addict does not follow, does not understand the science behind them, then there are possibilities those people will remain stuck in their addiction for life. I thought it was going to be something different. I got scared for a
second to Dean. Yes, we have explained already enough about the title. Don't worry, guys, I am not here to suggest to you
tips to make you more addicted to pornography. No, that's not the intention that the opposite will be true. I just our clarify that for one more time. So the thing is that I have been working in that area for a long, long, long time. And I have received 1000s of emails I mentioned that in my previous live broadcast, please refer to this live broadcast, which was about the same topic
where I titled it, why am I talking about pornography too much, which by the way, have reached to over Marshal lots of articles 24,150 person so the video have reached 24,000 people martial arts about a lot and that is because you have shared the video may Allah reward you so far, we have over 486 people who have received that video. So I want you to keep on sharing please the video so that we can reach to every
to as many people as possible just to highlight, I will be sharing my email address later on in sha Allah. But for now, let's get into the meat of this topic, seven tips.
seven tips to remain addicted to pornography, things that if you don't really take seriously you will remain addicted for your life. And one of the things that let let me let me read. Let me write for you. All right, so.
So as I said, it's not you know, you are watching, I want you to make notes.
Just because you are attending this doesn't mean that you are addicted to pornography. But I want you to watch, I want you to make notes so that you can share these tips with others on the hope of helping people to break free from addiction in short, a lot of time. So
all right, let me get
so I hope it's clear on the board in sha Allah. Can you see it clearly? Guys? Can you please confirm if you're seeing it clearly?
Okay, it's very clear, I can see it also on my computer. So the first the first thing
is
alright, I lost some tabs here. This is the one of the deadliest reasons why people remain in their addictions for life. They rely on themselves on themselves. They feel that they can actually defeat pornography on their own. They think that this is just a temporary phase it will, you know, sooner or later we can defeat this monster. And this is one of the deadliest reasons why most pornography addicts remain in the addictions for many, many years. The fact is that nearly nearly 99% of the people who are addicted to pornography will never break free unless they tell someone unless they share the information to what we call in the field accountability partner, someone perhaps who would
monitor their behavior on the internet, someone perhaps who would advise them from time to time to do the right thing.
Like the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam informed us that Alomar Allah Dini Halima folium Dora hadoken Manu Khalid, that a person will be inclined, inclined to follow the religion or the way of life of his friend, his closest companion. So be careful who are your friends if you're hanging out with people
actually sharing with you these links these filthy
images, filthy videos, filthy websites. If you're hanging out with those kind of friends, then you will end up doing the same thing that they are doing, in fact to be very difficult for you to do something else. But if you are actually associating yourself with the with righteous company with the righteous friends, those who will remind you of a Lost Planet are those who will remind you of laws, rewards and punishments. Those who are in war will remind you of what the prophet SAW a lot SLM peace be upon him mentioned about lowering our gaze and so on and so forth, then you your resistance system will will improve, you will fight the the battle against pornography harder. But
if you start relying on yourself, if you thought for a second that I got this, you know, I'm gonna quit it on my own, then you're terribly, terribly mistaken. I want you to inshallah, to Allah now.
Let me know your comments. What do you think? Do you think that actually anyone can find pornography on their own? Do you think that anyone in the world could fight any sort of addiction on their own? So let us hear your comments because I wanted as as always, I wanted to make these sessions interactive. So for the benefits of all of us in sha Allah, what do you guys think? Try to let me know your your your comments below.
walaikum salam Qureshi, Mk. Thank you for coming.
So I was asking this question, guys. What do you think of the first point, that one of the deadliest reasons why people actually fail?
One of the one of the deadliest reason as I was saying,
Yeah. Why people fail to break free from porn addiction is that they rely on themselves, they feel that they can defeat pornography on their own. So I was asking, what do you think of that point? So we have here, Mohammed Hanif. He said, No, never, we can't do it. on our own, we have to rely on our last pantile this is brilliant point reliance on our last pantalla is one thing, but Allah subhanaw taala, remember Allah subhanaw taala will not come down to help you quit pornography, unless you start with your own self, Allah Subhana. Allah said, in the law, you know, maybe Coleman had a euro, maybe emphasis, maybe enforcing the laws pantalla will never change the condition of any group of
people, or any individual for that matter, unless and until they change what is within themselves. And in the case of an addict, he will never be able to change what is within himself, unless he asked the help of others human beings around them. So this is something very, very important. But most people don't don't want to reach out to friends to righteous company and open up to them because they feel they would be humiliated. People will think law about them. Some of the people who are addicted to pornography are religious, so they don't want their reputation to be ruined, and so on and so forth. But this is a fact you won't be able, you won't be able to in most cases, fight
pornography on your own. I love you, brother and you are doing a great job.
Bonnie is how does Allah May Allah Subhana Allah love you as well, of the law of karma too much an easy accessibility? This is one of the reasons why pornography addictive addictive, it's because
the the easy access, sometimes they are not our walking friends, but rather in our friend list. So they intend to share it. Yes. So you're defending Apple is referring I think to
to Facebook, friends, Twitter, friends, and those people whom we don't actually know, they just send us
friend requests on Facebook and so on. Just because they liked our photos, you know, they like our profile pictures, and they say, let's let's send them a
a friend request, but
waalaikumsalam a low. Thank you guys, if you could let me know. So where are you from? Where are you actually watching from that will even make the session more interactive. But for now.
I missed the point due to net problem.
Baqi we were saying that this is the first point this is the deadliest point. One of the deadliest points why people remain in that addiction is that they rely on themselves. Only they do not open up to other people. They do not find an accountability partner, someone who will actually monitor their behavior. I'm feeling
With a case a brother who was addicted to pornography for so many years, and
May Allah bless him, he's very sincere and he did his best to break free from from porn and he will relapse again and again. And recently just recently got married. And I was so happy because once you get married, while you're in that state,
it's now easier. Number one, you have the halaal source that could relief your desire. And number two, you have a close person to you, who is called wife, a spouse, who you can open up to her and tell her the truth and she would be very, very passionate and compassionate towards you. And she would she would do whatever she can to actually support you and offer you the necessary help. And he actually took that advice seriously. After he got he got married. He actually opened up to his wife and his wife received the news really, really smoothly and she offered to support her husband and this is the beginning Actually, this is 50% of the cure already. He's been doing a great job. But
this is something very, very important is to open up to somebody. broadcast media is partially to blame the media Yes, thank you for that the media is promoting nudity promoting pornographic
images and so on. We have people from the Philippines martial law we have people from Philippines wanting Kuwait.
I hope you could visit once again here in Malawi city May Allah subhanaw taala make it happen. I love Marawi city are welcome to Morocco in sha Allah, we all we are all praying for Malawi and for the people of Malawi that may Allah smart Allah keep them safe. And sound. We have also people from the Philippines Mohammed Faisal.
Alright, let's get to the second point, inshallah of our talk why people remain addicted to pornography?
Or what are the points that they are missing? What are the things that they are not doing and they must do in order to get rid of their addiction?
We have number two
is lying to themselves lying to themselves by telling,
you know, telling themselves that I'm actually addicted because
I have this higher sexual energy I'm you know, I have too much energy for
for sexual pleasure. So we can say it.
We can say only problem
is higher
sexual
urge, so I hope you can see that.
So people are sometimes those who are addicted to pornography, they lie to themselves, they pretend that their only problem.
The only problem is that they have this higher sexual urge than other people. So, first of all, we do not we do not actually have any, we didn't do any research on this, to ask people who is you know, who have the higher urge of sexual desire who is not they don't have that research. It's just a mental condition. They are a limited, limited belief. That's what they believe, but it doesn't actually have any
no study was made actually that I know of, to tell how many people who are the people who have higher sexual desire and and who are not. So this is this is very, very poor, approaching very, very poor approach to that problem, the thing that they have higher urge. Alright, Singapore martial law, they are here with us. So why people remain stuck in the cycle of pornography addiction, because of limited belief. They believe that their only problem is higher sexual urge, we are not saying that they don't have the urge. They do have it but not not. Just because they have the urge means that it is the core problem. There are many things associated with pornography. We have boredom, we have
loneliness, we have
triggers, things that you watch things that you are engaged in, that lead you to the activity of watching porn and having the pleasure of masturbation the temporary pleasure. So there are many many things that if you don't address it,
environment friends, as we said earlier,
I, I have another client who actually break free from pornography addiction when he changed the environment of his room, he shared with me that because he used to commit that particular sin on a on a particular couch in his room, he told me that when he changed that couch when he sold it out, and change the decoration of the room and change the color of the wall, the colors of the wall, the bed sheets and so on, things have changed, he started, he started thinking of different activities within that same room that he used to sin and commit that, that that horrible, horrible
you know, practice. So changing the environment, if you don't, if you do not create then the the appropriate environment to do something different to do something beneficial. You will never be able to break free from pornography. You get people who I tell, please do not take your devices into your bedroom. And they will argue by saying that I cannot because I study Alright, you need internet, I can understand that. I never actually suggested that you don't carry your cell phone, don't you know, break your laptop, throw your iPad, I never suggested these things because those devices internet and all we need them in our daily lives now. It's just how you use them. That makes it you
know, beneficial or not. But bedroom is meant for sleeping for rest. And when you when you come up with that excuse say that I can't actually I cannot give up my cell phones I cannot actually leave them outside my bedroom. That's an excuse for you to actually or a justification for you to remain addicted in
to pornography. And this is one of the triggers. This is one of the the main problems why people remain addicted to pornography because they get stuck to their devices, which are the tools by which they're using to
watch pornography. Alright guys, what do you think about this tip? I wanted to review your comments.
All right, I'm checking here
are our new is mentioning that nudity is everywhere shift lauding the gay seems like an uphill battle these days. I agree with you. Lowering the gaze is difficult is not easy to achieve. But it is it is also possible it's not impossible, it is possible with practice. So please repeat I said the second point is people normally pretend that their only problem is sexual urges. But there are many many other problems associated with pornography one of them is boredom, being alone, taking your cell phone, cell phones in your bedroom, all these things lead to the activity. So when you when you identify the trigger, when you identify why things happen
when you address these issues as a whole, then you will start getting better results because there is I remember the there was one beautiful quote
says Don't Don't you know don't do things or don't don't keep on doing the same thing again and again and expect a different result. Right. So you have already tried to repent
of course I'm not saying that don't repent anymore, repent every time you you make the mistake but what I'm saying is that you have you have tried to install filters. You have tried to you know,
go to gym. You have tried a lot of things and didn't work. Now try something different. Try something that is tested. Try to listen to people who are having experience in this
in this area All right. nudity is everywhere. I'm still I'm still reading your comments guys.
Brothers and sisters who are online and can hear me clearly I wanted to hear your your comment.
I wanted to read your comments on the second point which is pretending that only the only issue is higher sexual urge. It's not there are a whole bunch of other things that are associated with porn addiction. So what are your comments what are your thoughts your insights on this issue? I'm waiting.
Meanwhile, guys, I want you to share the video Mashallah Shea watching from Penang, Malaysia, Masha Allah Saeed Mohammed Al anon silent welcome. Just like a long time for coming. I wanted to hear your insights. What do you think about these two points so far? We have mentioned we
Watching here from Cotabato martial law bonda Welcome Welcome. Filipinos the most kindest people ever. I will write my email my trigger is that something comes in my mind and then I use my phone for future activities. Mohammed Hanif. Yes. So if your cell phone is your trigger, then two things to be done. Number one, don't use your cell phones when you're alone. Number two use a limited data. Limited internet data so you don't have that unlimited internet access wherever you are. So these eliminate the trigger you eliminate the practice you eliminate the activity, watching from Zamboanga Zamboanga masala junkie, we are coming to them Vanga in in I think in two weeks time I guess we've
been some one gram of tea mink, Dr. Mohamed Salah, Shia Hosseini and share hashtag in we will be flying in Sharla
from Perth, Australia, from Zimbabwe, from Malaysia and from Egypt.
It's like a loop brother I have been on this for five years.
Well, Fazal Rahman
this is this is why we are we are doing this these videos now the live the life events so that we can offer some tips but two things we have discussed so far. If you wanted to get rid of your addiction number one, do not rely on yourself you have to open up to someone, you have to tell somebody otherwise the battle against pornography becomes nearly impossible. Only few people that I know of. And only you know according to my reading and all that it's it's nearly impossible for someone on his own or on her own. To fight pornography you have to open up to somebody but be careful whom you tell, because it's very sensitive topic to discuss or to open up to somebody on
this matter. So you have to be very, very selective. So excited here in Charlotte, go to the convention martial law. We are also very excited to be coming to San Juan Angela, brother and senior
points. But what are the effects of masturbation? Is it beneficial? I have never read any well established scientific research saying that masturbation is actually beneficial in any way or form. There are many
secondhand resources, where people are suggesting that it's beneficial. But I want to tell you something. neuroscientists are telling us that pornography and masturbation leads to acting out the activity. So the more you watch these filthy images, filthy practices, then you will end up doing masturbation. And then you will reach to a level because as I said in my previous video, and as I always say in every occasion about this issue, that addiction escalates does not remain at one level. So the next level after masturbation is what is Zener. So you watch porn, you end up with masturbation, and on the long run, you wouldn't be you know, satisfied anymore. You wouldn't be
feeling that same pleasure anymore through masturbation, and as a result, you will end up finding dirty massage houses, prostitution houses to fulfill that desire, or to act out what you've been watching for all these years. So don't you think that Allah tala wouldn't actually allow masturbation for that particular reason? Because it may lead you to Xena, don't you think? Yeah. So it's I don't I don't
consider that Hillel. I don't consider it beneficial at all. Some people watching from Saudi Arabia, martial law, some people,
arboretums, Alamosa Island added, or Avi Hamza from Saudi Arabia
a new a new Shai Russia come please come to Pakistan. The Pakistani constants are giving me a hard time to get the visa this time so I'm waiting for my visa to come to Pakistan shala
watching from Kingdom of Saudi Arabia June Mashallah Tabata hello welcome welcome.
I love I love your participation Joseph Mohammed Allah bless you always. So let's move to the third point inshallah so that we can give you all the seven tips before Madrid, here in Perth, Australia.
The third point we have why people remain stuck
in the addiction is
avoiding
counseling.
People think that counsel counselors are you know, for for those who are mentally sick, those who are ill, those who need mental treatments and so on and so forth. As a result, the
Try to avoid reaching out an expert who can actually give them a lot of, you know, instructions on how to give up that destructive habit, destructive, addictive habit like pornography.
So, I was I was actually attending a group discussion on the issue. And I was, and they were all non Muslims. And I was amazed at the level of courage that non Muslim had.
When it comes to opening up to an expert, I mentioned my previous video also that I have been told when I was in Sydney a couple of weeks ago that there was an event that was attended by about 250 persons, and the ticket was $300 Australian dollars,
where the instructor was educating the massive of how to protect our children from accessing pornography. So I found that non Muslims are so keen to actually attend these events, to pay for counselors so that we can get rid of their addiction and live a healthy life. So one of the things that I need to teach you today is adding value to yourself. You know, don't you think that if you wanted to invest in anything, yourself would be the best thing to invest in your your own self, like
buying a book, that's an investment, when you when you pay money to purchase a book that will educate you on a particular subject that you like, the money that you pay is not a cost, the money that you pay is an investment, because the knowledge that you will get it will impact you so positively. And if you started applying the knowledge then in in that book that you just purchased, then this is invaluable. We don't put money on knowledge, right? The same thing when you pay actually an amount to a counselor, someone who knows what he's doing. Someone who trust, you know, the process, and tested the process on so many people and and they got healed, they became better
people than that that's invaluable. You can't put a price on this. And, you know, spawn a line all the time. Sometimes I get a lot of comments on like,
why these things are not free? And why counseling and And isn't it haram? Shouldn't we just rely on what you see there is there is a difference between relying on last fantana bill as bad. I will try to translate that soon. But the reliance on our last panatela is to do what is necessary to do what is necessary to take the worldly measures that is
to take all the worldly measures, reasonable measures, and then put your efforts and relying on last cannot add but sitting back doing nothing. Knowing that there is an expert out there who can help you out. But there are some fees due to certain costs around you know his office and running the whole Institute and so on. And you don't want to pay. So panela we pay, we save to buy
you know phone cards, phone, you know credit cards, phone loads, you call it in the Philippines, we save money to buy that if we have 100 pesos. It's better not to be in your pocket, but on your phone because you will miss a lot on Facebook updates and so on. Correct me if I'm wrong Guys, please visit us in the Philippines. We are coming in Sharla and Philippines but correct me if I'm wrong. We spend on food. We spend on so many things. But when it comes to our health, when it comes to our future, we became we become stingy. We don't want to spend we don't want to pay for to a counselor who would help us to become better human beings. This is not a cost. This is an investment. What do
you guys think? I believe the only way to be consistent in prayer.
Get married and always do something like fasting you know brother side, I do not believe in what you said. I believe that prayers is a compulsory on everyone whether you're addicted or not, you will have to pray anyway you will have to be consistent anyway. You will have to follow the sun now whether you like it or not. If you are claiming to be a Muslim, you will have to get married anyway because it's part of the Sun now when you are able to shower, but that's not the solution to porn addiction. That's not the solution to any addiction. The solution to addiction is aside from increasing your Eman, there are a whole bunch of practical tips that you need to follow. Some of
them people do not want to reach the people who are addicted to porn to Xena in the past they used to go and talk to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam as their counselor as their coach. Like the man who come to the prophet SAW Selim and told him allow me to commit adultery. You see, he wanted to take it off his chest. He was addicted to a woman he was addicted to sin Allah, Allah and he's a companion. One of the best
Best of the Best of the Best. Yet, he went and he spoke those words. So do not ever under mine or underestimate the power of experts, mentors, coaches, and counselors. They can really help you in great ways and the money that you will pay for a counselor to help you out while law it's an investment that you will will treasure for life. So we have people who saying jar a log, she said true. Mohammed Pfizer agreed, watching from Sabah, Borneo, Malaysia masala, welcome.
So, so far we've discussed three points we discussed that never ever rely on yourself when it comes to pornography addiction. We said that don't lie to yourself and don't pretend that your only problem is having a higher sexual urge. You have to address other problems surrounding pornography addiction like boredom, like loneliness and so on. And the third one is
that you consider seeing a counselor consider seeing a coach consider seeing someone who's an expert in the field to help you once and for all Yes, you will pay money because they have offices they have employees they have a lot of you know, investment they have made themselves to be able to help you or help other people like you. So you will you will pay them some some charges. And but the outcome is great. The outcome can never be measured by money. We have
Shea How do I increase my Eman in simple ways.
As i said i don't i don't i don't believe in simple ways I don't believe in in shortcuts I don't believe in
I'm I like to to do the hard way I like to go through difficulties in order to taste the peace of comfort and ease. So there is no to me. Don't ever look for simple ways to achieve something great Eman is the greatest thing Allah has given us. Islam is the greatest favor Allah has given us so don't look for a shortcut to achieve a great thing. Learn this my brothers and sisters in Islam take the difficult way. Islam or Eman is like a path full of forms and glasses and difficulties and you will have to step on them carefully in and slowly until you reach the end of the tunnel and until you achieve that success. So you can sort inshallah, start going to the messages regularly that will
improve your email, start reading or and regularly Don't let a day pass by without reading the or end. If you want to memorize welcome if you want to read with understanding much better. Apply start applying the knowledge that you learn don't just, you know be an information gatherer don't just gather information without actually putting them into action. All these things increase imagine being surrounded with good company, righteous friends will remind you a lot repeatedly with all these things improve human there is not a shortcut. There is no simple way. You have to take the hard ways. Yes What if we have four wives.
As I said marriage whether to 123 or four is not a solution to porn addicts they will want because porn addiction is here is in the brain. So the brain has registered the activity that if you wanted to experience sexual pleasure, watch porn through screens through laptops through you know whatever device that you've been using. So you will get married to 123 or 100. At the end of the day your brain will remind you of the activity and you will relapse again you will go back through the same cycle again unless you address the core problem. You will never be able to break free from porn addiction I want so dour in YouTube's is telling us. The shape says that whenever you want to do
Zina, you replace this with Sona prayer.
Yes, that was shaped Kemal Mickey I agree there are some people who can you know every time they make a sin they then you know pray. And if I missed the ledger Some people say if you miss federal you pray 100 Records and shaitan will remind you to wake up for failure later on. If If you can do that, if you as an individual can maintain those 100 record after every sin Go for it. Go for it. But there are other people who actually after the sin D give up hope
after the sin they lose hope and our loss found out after after the sin after the relapse again and again. They say that we are hypocrites. And so some some of them they don't pray now anymore because they're afraid that Allah Subhana Allah wouldn't even accept the prayers because they keep on sinning. So it depends on the will power often the individual important addicts have got no willpower anyway, so
may ask for an advice. Yes, you can ask
Anytime for an advice, but let us in sha Allah Allah proceed, I will just make another refresh the page so that we can move to the next point in sha Allah to Allah.
So the fourth point that we have,
I'm just refreshing to see what you guys are saying.
Would it be better to have more wives abdelfattah? how long they I don't know.
There is nothing, we don't have anything Islam states that it would be better if you have more wives, we don't have that. And, and marrying a second or third wife shouldn't be planned, it should happen according to a particular scenario that happens, you know, along the way along the journey of life, if the circumstances require, and then to step.
You know, another to step, one more, you know, step in that direction. If the circumstances required, if the first wife is aware, and every all parties are happy, then why not? But it's not a solution. Again, I will repeat that marrying one or 100 wives, it's not a solution to break free from porn addiction.
I'll be right back. All right. Yes, Margaret, is
in Malaysia already in? Not yet here in Australia. All right. So number four, let's move on to a lot. I'm just sticking here in my notebook, so that I know where I am. So
pay attention
to
your
one of the one of the reasons why people keep on going around that cycle is that they do not pay attention to the relapses meaning they don't didn't.
You know, they don't reflect over what actually led them to relapse. Like if they were watching movies, I always ask people what happened? They will just text me or they will call me or they will you know, we have some coaching session. So they will tell me, I don't really know what happened. No, it is very important to know why you have relapsed after making a decision never to watch porn again. It is very, very essential to know why. Perhaps you started watching the same show again, you know, those competition shows and contests and the American idols and, and whatnot, all these things have it contained triggers, it contains sexual triggers that could actually lead you to a hardcore
porn symbol. So you have to always pay attention. If you relapse, it is expected. We always say to, to go to porn addicts that. Don't think that just because you have decided or you reach me out, don't think that this is it, you will be clean all the time, you will relapse, things will happen. But don't take that as an excuse. Don't always say that the coach say you will relapse anyway. So I'm going to relapse today. No, you'd have to fight hard. But what I'm saying is you have to also write down or or remember what had led you to this point to repeat the activity again. And so avoid them avoid these triggers. If it is a movie, don't watch a man. It's not it's not gender. If it is,
if it is the girl that you always talk to, without any necessity.
Don't talk to her again. Like there are many people unfortunately, religious people they will like a story happened actually, I will share with you that because it's worth mentioning.
He was a man doing power and then a girl came up and she asked about Islam and she got interested and then she took Shahada and then he got interested to teach her Islam you see the intention is pure. The intention is teach her Islam but the way the method was wrong. Number one, why you a male teacher stranger, Islam, why don't you assign a sister somewhere to teacher Islam you don't have got his own ways. So the man started inviting her to a particular center. Everything was okay because he was teaching her in public. But the the girl left town and then they started getting a line talking about Islam also teaching this teaching that and then what what made the matter worse is that he
started teaching English we'd have all the, the Islamic, you know, subjects he wanted to teach her to read, and he wanted to teach her how to pronounce the Arabic letter and he started a bad
there and making his lips like this saw no, no sister say sauce sauce.
I was laughing when I was, you know,
when I went through this story when somebody was telling me this story, can you imagine a brother is looking in the camera and a sister who just became Muslim, she doesn't know the requirements
of hijab she doesn't know the obligations or the basic requirements of a sister to talk to her non Muharram brother, she doesn't know that. And this is her she's not to be blamed. The person who's teaching Islam is to be blamed. But the problem is the ended up doing Xena, he flew to a country and they ended up doing Xena just because they you know, he took the wrong method
to to mingle with the opposite gender. So you have to look into all these triggers and pay attention, extra attention. Now after paying attention to the triggers, avoid them for a while sake, don't repeat the mistake again. Don't take your phone again to the bedroom again, putting putting it just right next to you on the bed. And then when you relapse, say I don't know why I've relapsed. I have been praying every day and every night y'all up Hear me from this, but I did. I've done it again, you've done it again, because you did not avoid the triggers. If you pay attention to the triggers, you will not repeat the activities. I want to hear.
I want to hear your comments on this.
It's the fourth point we have here paying attention to your triggers. What do you think about this? Do you think this is a beneficial point?
We must try to never ever despair in the mercy of Allah stands out of course of the fact that we should always rely on Allah, we should always
you know, never despair and in the mercy of Allah Subhana Allah because Allah promises that he will always forgive the sins of those who repent.
Abdul Fatah, you you think you said that this point is very beneficial. I agree with you and I really, this is one of the things that people ignore the addicts ignore this and as a result, they remain stuck in their addiction. It really makes a lot of sense now and hamdulillah Rashid and oshi Rashid say that this point now makes sense that means
people they decide to give up porn and then
they relapse and when they relapse, they repent, but when they repent the keep doing the same thing that they used to do in the past that led them to these relapses. So if you avoid the triggers,
if you if you first pay attention to them what happened at that moment? What happened few moments before the relapses What are these few steps that you have taken that led you to this relapse watching and masturbating again, what what actually happened? Note them down, remember them and avoid them in the future. And when you avoid them in the future, you will avoid the practice itself. What else? Please share your email. Id badly need your counseling. Yes, yes, I will share let me write it down because this many people I don't know how many people were asking about my email, but I would write it down here. And if you actually go to the previous video, if you just scroll down,
you will see also my email is there
you go, this is my email address post right there.
So agreed Nadeem, Ashraf, very glad to see you brother Nadeem JazakAllah. Hanna for coming. So agreed beware of triggers always one leads to another.
Yes, lowering the gaze also getting involved in dour and busying yourself. Yeah, all these are the tips that would help an addict to actually become productive, productive productivity is the number one enemy to pornography. Remember this productivity is number one enemy to pornography. The more you get busy, the more you have no idle moment. No free time. When you when you can achieve that. Say goodbye to pornography.
Yes, does that go on for for this reminder brother Nadine. Getting involved in dour busying yourself endow projects keeps your mind occupied. Brilliant point. As I said, productivity is in my book, beat it 50 plus shades of hope. I mentioned that. One of the tips that I've given I've given actually more than 100 tips in that book. But in one of them I say productivity productivity one point I repeated it three times because as I said earlier, it is the greatest enemy to pornography. Alright, so this was number
four
So, so far we have discussed four points.
Don't ever rely on yourself, reach out to people whom you trust. Don't lie to yourself thinking that the only problem that you have is actually higher sexual urge. No, you have to address other problems associated with porn addiction, including boredom, loneliness, anger, and so on.
We said, Don't ever avoid counselling, reach out to an expert, pay the money If required, and get yourself out of this misery. And if you want to remain addicted, don't pay attention to the lapses don't pay attention to the moments that lead to addiction. All right, number five, let's move on in Sharla. Unless you have some points here.
up see Hi, Wally, come on Hi, or the library canonical center of the law. Obviously, thank you for coming. What will you provide through your email? I don't know what you what you want. Normally. At that stage, I'm not focused on any emails. To be honest, I'm only focusing on
support groups that we have started. And we've already completed two groups martial law. And this group's basically 12 weeks meetings we come every Wednesday in the night or every Tuesday or every Thursday or every Friday. So four days a week, we filled up already two groups and we are working on the other two groups. If you wish to join these groups, you can email me I will send you the link to and teach you how to apply inshallah, but 12 weeks meetings of different people who come from different different backgrounds to speak out, and to get the most important instructions on how to break free once and for all. And the beauty about this program is that I get in touch with you
throughout the 12 weeks, not only once a week, but throughout the week. So I make sure that you are
on your tasks, you're doing your homework, you're doing the necessary reading, you are following the instructions because if you don't follow the instructions, and if you come and tell told me that I didn't do what you did, what you what you instructed, I'll tell you Sorry, brother, this is not your place or sorry, sister, because we have a group for sisters group for brothers. So that's what you're going to get by email. Once you email me how you reach me out I'll send you a link where I will tell you that this is what I'm focusing on at the moment because the emails that I'm receiving daily are in the 1000s so I can't cater for every email. We have
Zamboanga Philippine Welcome, welcome. Welcome.
Amina to remain addicted. Yes, if you want to remain addicted, don't follow these steps. That's the topic if you want to remain addicted, do not follow these steps. Or if you want to remain addicted, follow these steps. rely on yourself you will remain addicted. If you want to remain addicted lie to yourself that your only problem is higher sexual urges. If you want to remain addicted, do not ever you know contact a counselor do not reach out to a coach a professional you know, therapist or something. If you want to remain addicted, then do not pay attention to your elapses. Point number five. Let's move on in Sharla unless you have some comments, to address point number five.
If you want to remain addicted to pornography, do not think
that
you are
harming
others.
If you want to remain addicted, don't ever think that you're harming other people. Because mostly porn addicts they think that hey, it's something done in secret. I don't harm nobody. It's my life. In fact, you're harming so many people around you, aside from harming your brain. Aside from harming your focus, your intelligence, your health. Many people now are suffering from erectile dysfunction for men. Men are suffering from erectile dysfunction they can't function sexually. The thing that they like the most the thing that actually make them watch pornography because they wanted to experience this pleasure.
They are prevented from now you know to experience a real life partner because of pornography so it destroy you as an individual. It destroy you. It Cause you know, your work to decline your business to decline your credit card your account to decline. There are some people who are buying now. They're not
With the free stuff, they go for more they buy their credit cards are used to buy pornographic
materials. Aside from that, you get married, you start harming your wife, you start rolling her by leaving her in the bed and getting up in the night watching pornography on your own. I get this a lot, you harm your children, when they see you, when they catch you in the act, you harm your children, you harm your entire community, if you are a religious figure, if you are someone who's actually respected in the community. And when they find out about your activities, when they find out about that shameful secret that you've been hiding. You lose respect and they lose their Eman, they lose their, their their focus, they lose their they start doubting their faith because of you
because for them, you are a role model. And when when you started doing what you're doing, and you your sim became exposed, unfortunately, then those people who used to respect you so much and follow you, they don't only lose respect for you, but they lose their email as well. So don't ever think that engaging in pornography is harming you alone. it harms a lot of other people around you. So if you want to remain addicted to pornography, keep thinking, keep thinking that you're not harming except yourself. No, that will keep that will make you you know, delve further into your addiction. What do you think about this point?
Your words suggest that if you not see email, how can you reach? No, I have I have handled I have a couple of brothers and sisters who are helping me filtering the emails and replying sometimes. I was confused at the beginning too. But I understand share, you guys actually the title was very carefully selected I want to grab people's attention. I'm not suggesting that these are the tips that will keep you addicted. I'm telling you that if you wanted to be addicted, which is not the case you don't want to be addicted. You don't want to remain addicted. But I receive a lot of emails from people who do not want to follow these steps and as a result, they are still addicted to porn.
This is awkward not the topic for me good luck loot. You see this is also another problem. Amina and the like Amina
Amina and the like, people who think because because they are not addicted, they don't need the topic. So Pamela, as if she don't have a spouse, she don't have a child who's coming or she's not teaching at school or she don't have neighbors to care for.
Every single person on planet should care about this topic, whether you are addicted to pornography or not. Because if you are not addicted, you need the content, you need the knowledge to help others who are addicted. See, this is I'm tired. Anyway, guys, show me your comments. What do you think five points we have discussed so far, I will I will just recap. My My hands are getting you know, marks all over. I'm just very passionate. I want the people to get together and fight that disease. We have. We said don't ever rely on yourself if you want to remain addicted or rely on yourself. So if you do not want to remain addicted, you have to get some friends around some support groups, some
people you trust to open up and tell them to help you out. We have also spoken about don't ever think that your addiction is related to your sexual urges that you have different or higher sexual urges? No, there are other problems as we said associated with it. Number three, we said don't.
If you want to remain addicted, avoid counseling. If you do not want you have to go to an expert and tell him Hey, enough is enough. Help me out. If you want to remain addicted, don't pay attention to the lapses if you do not want to be addicted. Pay attention to relapses write down what led you to addiction and avoid the triggers. And as a result, you will avoid the whole activity. And last point that we had discussed now is
don't ever if you want to remain addicted if you want to remain addicted in that field. Do not think that you're harming except yourself. No, you're harming a lot of other people around you. If you're not harming them now. You will harm them later. So what do you guys think?
Awesome points of hamdulillah fantastic along hiren. What else I will refresh in case I have missed some of the comments I want you to share please the video, share, share the video if you share it, share it again please, we want the people to at least know that there is a video discussing this very essential topic so that we can help as many people as possible around the world in sha Allah.
So I'm refreshing just to see whether I have missed some important
Comments
All right.
Mashallah, as I can see that the because of your effort the video have reached to over 7331 does Allah Allah, may Allah reward you? Point Number Six unless you have something here to offer, or any comments here, our refresh one more time. Point number six is very, very important.
Listen to me, let me let me get another page, because this is very, very important. So I would just flip this one.
Point number six
oops.
If you are a sister, if you are a female, you think that
you are
alone.
So if you are a female, if you are a sister who's addicted to pornography, who come again and again to the same activity, then you think that oh my god, this is a male thing. This is a guy's thing as we as we always
imagine
that people say that pornography is a guy's thing, woman don't watch that. And so as a result, females, sisters normally think that they are the worst human beings ever, and that they are doing this alone. No, you're not there are funds.
I know tons are used for what he has done, he told you I mean, 1000s upon 1000s of sisters were addicted to pornography.
Due to so many different circumstances,
some were harassed sexually. And as a result, their curiosity was raised and they started watching porn. Some have,
you know, harassed, sexually molested when they were young, some were the cold magazines. And in the Father's house, the cold the father's I have a case I'm dealing with a case of an old man who actually was caught in the act by his daughter and so on. So they become addicted, but they think that they are alone in this issue. So this is one of the things why they remain addicted, because they have that heavy heart heavy or shame, guilt in the heart, that perhaps if I open up to someone will not understand me. They would think that I'm crazy, they would think that I am the filthiest person on earth. And as a result, their activity remain, you know, hidden from everybody. So I'm
encouraging you, my sister to reach out to a trusted person in the community, trust the sister, even if you're married, and you have that issue, reach out to a dear friend of yours Be careful, you have to be very, very selective. The same point here if you are a male,
if you are a male, you think that everyone
is doing it.
You think that everyone is doing it we are men man.
We are men, we can do this stuff.
They exchange it.
They share you know these these films these you know devices. Back in the days magazines VHS now is USB drive or CDs, or links or WhatsApp messages. So the think if you are a male, if you are a man, you think that everyone is doing it. If you are a sister, you think that you are alone in this trouble. So whether you think whether you're in the first categories or in the second categories, both believes both beliefs lead you to remain in the in the addictive cycle, both beliefs. So whether you're a sister, whether your sister thinking that you are alone, and as a result, you don't want to open up to anybody, or whether you're a man thinking that everyone is doing it anyway, both
beliefs, both limited beliefs, lead to the fact of becoming more addictive. So my advice to the first group is reach out to someone reach out to a sister in particular, and open up if you can find reach to a counselor, a therapist, a coach, a professional one who have training, how to find them, the internet can help you. We go to Google for anything but when it comes to something to help us as individuals, we feel it's difficult to search. So this My advice to the first group reach out the first the second group also reach out, but you have to change your mindset. Number one, not every man is addicted to pornography. So don't think that every man or every woman is addicted as a
result. It's okay. You know, it's a man thing. Anyway, it's normal.
There are even father's parents. When when I'm dealing with that case, like a mother came to me and telling me that we had actually a workshop on pornography addiction. And a mother approached me and she said, that I have actually called my son in the act. I caught my son watching pornography and I told his father and his father say what all men are doing, don't worry, it's a phase, it will go away. No, it's not going to go away. It will remain with your son for life. Be careful. If you don't treat it now, it will remain with him for life. Yes, and, and, and the concept of everyone doing it, so therefore I can do it. It's not an Islamic thing. You know, Allah Subhana. Allah says in the
Quran, what Allah luminaria Shakur, only few people of my servants are grateful.
Only few. So that means the majority are ungrateful. Do you want to be with the majority? Then you will, you will be ungrateful who are considered in Islam as this believers? So not just because everyone is doing it, you have to do it. Come on, let us grow up. So both categories have to reach to someone expert to help them out. Get rid of the addiction. The first one you're not alone? No, you're not alone. There are many like you. So reach out to an expert. The second one, not everyone is doing it. There are many men who are, you know, pure, who are focused on their business or focused on their studies, they're not doing these things. Aside from that, even if everyone is doing
it, it's not an indicator for you to do it. So this is another point. Because of that limited beliefs. Many people get stuck in their addiction.
Seal hair, martial law, this is awkward.
Alright, oh, talk to me, guys. What do you think of this? What do you think of this point?
Is there anything any addition any question that I can entertain inshallah, because we need to end up with the next? You know, point number seven, we will end up with this in sha Allah, Allah the live session.
Number seven.
Any question first or any common?
I was an addict for almost 13 years martial arts, you have a last two months of handleless stopped, no ad, no Ed, erectile dysfunction, but got bent on okay. I understand that planning to get married. Should I tell her before Nikesh, about the PD?
Number one, let me congratulate you for the courage of opening up and telling this story. To everyone. I encourage that in the private group, though not not in the general group. This will be watched by 1000s of people. So anyone who has a private issue of that it's it's your your brother's advice not to open up in the comments about your private problems. This can be discussed in a private session with with the groups that I mentioned earlier. If you want to join my email is that in the comments, I will leave it there. Aside from that, yes, I encourage you to tell your wife or your fiance before the kneecap, that this is my issue. And in the case of the other brother who I
mentioned earlier, he told her after the marriage, he told her after any works, she accepted she supported but I advise always before then he got so that if she accepted then she will not blame you if things have changed or if you relapse in the future. I may Allah subhanaw taala grant you a cure and shall have all illness me just like Aloha and I really admire your courage to speak about this in public. Thank you Any other questions? Any other comments? Before I move to the last point of the discussion inshallah and end up the session and again I will remind you please without sharing this information, many people would miss something really essential that would help them if they follow
these steps.
I missed I missed before Shabbat cook I missed before point 124 can I will brief this I will summarize the seven points later but the video will remain online. So I wanted you to chat a lot go back to the video. Listen to it again. make notes and put it into action charlo hamdulillah awesome points of the fantastic Zach along hi Ron. Mashallah. Alright, so point number four. If you wanted to remain addicted then
follow
the trap
off
later.
If you wanted to remain addicted, I have just now joined Mohammed Neil sorry when you missed a lot of things we have been talking about.
For more than one hour, but inshallah the recording will remain there on my page so you can go back to the video inshallah This is the last point I don't know if you can see it on the
I don't know if you can see it on the flip chart let me just think yes okay I will just
move a bit so you can make a note so follow follow the trap of later that's in case in case you wanted to remain addicted.
If you want to remain addicted in your misery in your addiction, then follow the trap of later meeting. inshallah Later I will change in sha Allah if Allah wills I will I will change I will do something inshallah Not today not now no no later inshallah like people who smoke you tell them brother quit smoking, smoking harm, damage your heart and damage your lungs and cause cancer haram and Allah give you a pure buddy quit smoking for Allah sake, he will blow this the smoke in your face and will tell you what
Charla later you pray for me in sha Allah data. So this is a trap. This is a trap that delays the purification of so many addicts, the trap of later and avoiding taking an action,
a loss of Matheson or unfair either assumpta fatawa killala. Once you've made a decision, put your trust in a law and take the necessary action. Without action. Without no change will never be caused. Or change will never happen without taking the necessary action. If you wanted to intervene in your addiction, just rely on later, I have a dear dear person to my heart, who is a non Muslim, but we meet regularly and the connection is so great. And every time we meet, I open up the issue of you know that you have accepted all the points of Islam, you have actually removed idols from your home you you always whenever I asked you whether you believe in Allah Subhana Allah as one god You
see, yes. When I tell you Do you believe in Mohammed wa sallam as the messenger, you say yes. So what's stopping you from taking the Shahada and declaring that you are actually a Muslim? That person will say maybe later, and that later never comes. And that later Later has been repeated by that person for the past how many years 10 years or even more 10 years, every time I asked why not now,
say maybe later, when I'm about to die. But this is a lesson for all of us to learn that if you don't take action after this video, by doing the necessary steps that we have discussed, which I will recap now in sha Allah to Allah before I end the session, then you will remain in your addiction. If you want to remain in your addiction, my brothers and sisters in Islam, rely only on yourself. Don't bring friends, don't bring trusted people into your life. Don't share your misery was someone who will help you. This is number one. Number two, if you wanted to remain addicted to pornography, lie to yourself by saying that My only problem is that I have a higher urge or a higher
sexual urge than others. That's why I'm addicted. If you want to remain addicted, like yourself and say this, instead of addressing the core issues, that leads you to addiction, including being alone most of the time, including chatting with the opposite gender without necessity and so on. If you want to remain addiction number three, please please avoid reaching out to counselors to experts to coaches don't talk to them because they know what they're doing. So you don't want to actually be free from addiction. So as a result, you don't want to talk to them, you feel that they are for sick people. So if you avoid counseling, then you avoid the treatment then the necessary treatment for
you to become cure for you to become pure and live the life that you've been always that you've always wanted. If you want to remain addicted to pornography, do not pay attention to relapses do not pay attention to these little details which have led you to pornography, addiction and the practice. If you don't want to be free from pornography, if you want to remain in that state then never think that you're actually harming other people as well. Because pornography harms not only the individual but everyone around them. If you want to remain addicted number six, if you are woman, we said that earlier if you are a woman, if you want to remain addicted think that you are
only alone that you're the only person doing this no this is not the case. If you do not want to remain in that stage, reach out someone because there are many like you sister who are addicted to pornography and they need to be cleansed to reach out to someone who you trust. If you are a male, not everyone is doing it. And even if everyone is doing it, this is not an excuse for you to do it as well. And number
Seven, do not ever if you want to cure yourself if you want to get out of this misery
avoid the trap of later this week at the sweep or delaying your repentance, delaying your your actions, delaying the necessary action that will lead you to that pure path of being free from porn, and its addictive nature. It was an honor being with you, thank you for the summary, no problem at all. Even making a decision to quit porn, there is a lack of
conviction to stay these things these things can be addressed later on Sharla
but I take one little step at the time. I said in my first book, taking one step at the time, little steps at the time can help you to complete the journey of recovery inshallah, it was a great time being with you. It's because of your efforts most a lot of articles I can see that our video had reached to over 7331 it reached to 7000 plus and it is being watched at the moment by over 2000 people so even inshallah later on those 7000 plus can watch the video and benefit to all praise Allah subhanaw taala and yourself who have helped us by shading desikan la hora have to end the video here. I hope you have enjoyed the content. I hope you have benefited one last request. Those
who wish to join my support group. I call it the rehab mental rehab that we have established in the past couple of weeks kindly send me an email I will email you back all the information that you need to join this 12 weeks program 12 weeks program to break free from porn addiction if you follow this the structure the instruction to the letter if you attended the meeting on time every week in Charlotte Allah there is a high chance for you high opportunity for you to break free once and for all and to start a new life that is fresh and pure from this you know filth and I will write down my email once again where l
at where L dash ibrahim.com here is the email once again email me I'll give you all the details. So this is a 12 weeks program we meet on different days every week inshallah to help you break free from porn addiction. The second is still we have few seconds before we say salaam aleikum kindly press share one more time let this video reach to as many people as possible May Allah subhanaw taala purify our lives May Allah spent Allah purify our hearts, may Allah cleanse us from the dangerous impact the dangerous effects of pornography I mean, I mean I mean I hope and I pray to see you one more time inshallah many more times, inshallah in the future with a lot of other insights
regarding pornography addiction and how to help people to raise awareness and to get the necessary help. So
inshallah we will have to end the session here desikan long hyaluron salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh