Halal Intimacy #07 – Sex and communication

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Wael Ibrahim

Channel: Wael Ibrahim

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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam apologies for not posting videos in the past couple of weeks due to some technical issues. But here we go. We are back with a new episode in sha Allah Allah so let's get into it in sha Allah

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one of the main contributors of the destruction of any relationship between a husband and a wife is the lack of communication, the unjustifiable shyness, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy, preferences and the like. Are isharo The Allah Allah may Allah be pleased with her the wife of our beloved Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, she said the Rahim Allah when he said and Medina, may Allah subhanaw taala have mercy upon the ladies, the women of Medina, their shyness did not prevent them from seeking knowledge and learning about the deep they will go to the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, they will approach his wives and ask about topics and issues that we may look at

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today as taboo and sensitive, and as a result, we will remain ignorant about them. And on the longer run due to our ignorance, we live in misery. May Allah subhanaw taala grant us the right understanding. Some years ago, a couple approached me after one of my workshops on pornography addiction, and they requested to speak with me in private, the permission was granted and we sat together and the wife started the conversation. She said, Brother, we've been married for over 15 years. Listen to this, my brothers and sisters and slam and ask yourself if you relate to that story. She said we'd be married for 15 years and throughout these 15 years, I never experienced

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pleasure during sexual intimacy, meaning orgasm, and she said that both of them have agreed after this workshop to approach me for a solution what to do about it Subhanallah I'll leave my brothers and sisters and slam the could have actually started this conversation early on after the marriage because they are the closest to each other her shyness and worry about opening that subject let her live in agony for over 15 years. The husband hamdulillah on the other hand, did not react strongly regarding opening up that much with a stranger but rather my brothers and sisters in Islam. This man was willing to take this journey of counseling on the hope of understanding how these things work,

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and how can he provide the necessary satisfaction to his wife so that they do not fall into any haram activities. But how many of us are suffering in silence? Until today? This is a very serious matter my brothers and sisters Islam and I want you to really think about it very deeply. Because sexual intimacy is very essential part of that package deal called marriage and lack of communication in the name of shyness is not justifiable in Islam, almost lame, the wife of Bhutan, Mohammed, Allah subhanaw taala be pleased with them. We go to the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and she was telling me how Rasul Allah, O Messenger of Allah and Allah Allah is the heman

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of Allah does not shy away from the truth from realities do women need to take a bath after seeing discharged after seeing wet dreams and the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam would say yes, if water became visible, if you have seen any liquid, then a woman must take a bath. Here we go. An issue that we may look at as taboo as sensitive yet the prophets Allah Allah Allah is Allah will allow such a conversation because I want you to think about the following question and perhaps leave your answers or insights in the comments below this video. If the husband or the wife have got some specific sexual needs, where are they going to go? Who will they share this information with? If

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Allah subhanaw taala already told us in the Quran that we are like garments for one another, then shouldn't we go up front and bravely speak to each other about these matters. And I agree that in the beginning, it's going to be awkward, and shyness will be a big factor to make this conversation a little bit uncomfortable. However, when you normalize these conversations again and again, it will not be as awkward as it was before but it is absolutely necessary to allow this conversation to allow this clear communication regarding our sexual needs, or else people will resort to haram activities on a radio show as quoted in brother Abdullah thieves book and I will leave a link to

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this information in the description below this video. It was mentioned that many couples do not have sex even after marriage. I want you to imagine this and as a counselor myself, I receive a lot of phone calls. I get a lot of clients who have this issue they haven't had sex at all after marriage. Some of them do not have sex at all.

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All, that is why many men are engaging in extramarital activities. So the absence of sex, or lack of sex education between couples is the cause of most crisis in marriage. So we need to learn to open our mouths and speak about these things to each other. And if you don't know or if you cannot receive guidance from your husband or from your wife, then counseling would be a very good option for you. There is no shyness when it comes to this matter, because shyness in this context is very passive and negative one and it could lead to the destruction of the entire relationship. But if communication is something that you have agreed upon from day one, or perhaps you have proceeded to

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counseling and this what you have agreed upon recently, then perhaps you demonstrate patience when things don't go your way when when you don't feel satisfied during this relationship. Perhaps you will talk about it more in order to enhance it. Perhaps you will get to know the Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam about foreplay and cuddling before the actual sexual intimacy to increase the enjoyment around this relationship because as I mentioned, my brothers and sisters in Islam it is part of the package of marriage. So you cannot belittle it, you cannot just ignore it because it is an intense desire that we all have Allah created this desire for us, my brothers and

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sisters in Islam, and if we don't enjoy it with our Halal spouses, then believe me my brothers and sisters, Islam and everyone, pornography will be a fate prostitution will be your fate Zina will be your fate. So may Allah subhanaw taala protect us all a male Lost Planet Allah grant us the right understanding and protect our homes from any vices of that nature. I mean, I mean, I mean, in sha Allah Allah we'll see you next episode with sexual intimacy don't forget to share the video subscribe to our channel, share it with your loved ones, see you inshallah Allah next time as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi overcut