The Strength of a Muslim Woman

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Umm Jamaal ud-Din

Channel: Umm Jamaal ud-Din

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah, Allah, Allah, he was Safi woman who Allah function with the topic I have chosen to speak about today is regarding the strength of will SEMA. And the reason I've chosen to speak about this topic is, you know, because one of the things we're seeing in these times is that, you know, a lot of sisters, you know, I feel that they're feeling very confused about what defines femininity in Islam.

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And, you know, on the one hand, we have that old, that age old narrative of the orientalist who have constantly always told us that, you know, to be a Muslim woman means you're supposed to be, you know, weakened, subjected. And, but then on the other hand, you know, we can't deny that amongst Muslims, there are those who've also, you know, given many Muslim women, the idea that to be a good Muslim, or, you know, basically means that you're number one you put up with, however you're treated. And number two, that you then also shouldn't speak about that, you know, as if it's not, it's not from the way of, you know, a Muslim up to, you know, to speak up on issues, and to have a

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voice or opinion, you know, rather, you know, she should just stay silent, and not complain, or, you know, highlight any issues that she's going through. And so, this is how we find that, you know, unfortunately, you know, many in the Muslim Omar, unfortunately, are helping to feed into the, you know, the, the narrative, that's, you know, playing into the minds of many Muslim women, that to be, you know, a good Muslim woman means to be in a position of, you know, passiveness and weakness.

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And sometimes, as a reaction to this, we then see some sisters, you know, turning to other false ideologies, you know, seeking the strength that, you know, seeking the strength that they should actually have found in Islam.

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And within the Muslim Muslim community in the first place, right, so, unfortunately, you know, instead of finding the strength that they, you know, they should have found within Islam, and within the Muslim community in the first place, we find that they, they end up as a reaction to the, you know, the way they've been treated and things like this, they end up, you know, turning to other false ideologies. So that's why this is, it's, you know, important that each and every one of us does take back the true narrative that Allahu Allah gave us of what it means to be, you know, a Muslim woman. And one of the best ways to do this is to simply look at the all of the examples that

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Allahu taala gave us of female role models throughout history, you know, because not one of them is not one of them. If you look at all of them, you think about them think about, you know, the Sahaba, the Sahaba, you know, think about all the examples Allah gave us, there's not one of them, except you see, the strength and bravery and unwavering Eman that they had.

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And just to, you know, give you some quick examples, because I know you all have, you know, many, but you think about her job, you know, radiallahu on her, you know, imagine, you know, being left in the middle of the desert with nothing supplemental golf course, a level title was doing that for a higher purpose, a purpose that was higher than both herself and Ebrahim. And it's my, you know, our aim is to land. But, you know, what is what is what's Hatch's reaction to that? What's his reaction to being left in that? Absolutely. You know, this the truth situation? She says to him, you know, when she, you know, she, as he bring him Allison's walking away from her, you know, of course, he

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doesn't look back because he knows if he looks at his wife, the emotions will overtake him and he knows he has to fulfill this command of Allahu taala. So what does what does he just say to him, Allah will lady America be heavier, Ibrahim Ibrahim is this, you know, is Allahu taala, the one who's ordered you to do this, Abraham, and all he says is Nam. And so she says, even later, you will buy eco una then Allahu taala, who never caused us to be lost. So just look at the unwavering bravery of her. Do you know how she faces that destitute situation with absolute bravery and your pain?

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Also, if you think about Asya, you know, when the situation when brown comes and tells her how he's gone and tortured, the you know, tortured to death, the you know, the hairdresser of the Royal you could call the Royal hairdresser, and her five children who tortured them to death. Why or because she said Rob Viola. And so we see the reaction of Asya she it's not a it's not a passive and submissive one. She doesn't, you know, react to this news in a passive and submissive weigh in the face of you know, when she hears injustice, rather, what does she do? You know, she stands up to sit down, and she says to him away lulac you know, where do you manage erotica, la la, How daring are

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you? And how bold Are you in the sight of Allah? Right. And so then, because of her reaction, he's so shocked with her reaction. He's this. He's this to her, you know, it seems like you've gone crazy just like the you know, just like the hairdresser went crazy as well. And then she tells him straight forward, you know, in a straight

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manner, I have not gone right you know, I have not lost my mind I'm not crazy, but rather and meant to be lazy. tyla You know, I have believed in a lot of denial I mean, I have believed in Allah, the Lord of the world.

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And that's when their own, you know, orders for her to be tied up and beaten. Or because why? Because she says, hold up, viola. So, you know, and Subhan Allah, so Allah holds and we know we know the rest of the story and similar to this also, as you know, Allah, Allah to Allah Subhana Allah, Who did he make the first martyr in Islam? So Maya, you know, somebody else and Allah radi Allahu Allah, and we know how she's taking out into the hot desert sun and you know, upon a lot tied up and you know, and somehow impaled until she, you know, Panama

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radi Allahu anhu Well, by her, you know, she's impaled to death. So, so we need this one, my dear sisters, we need to ask ourselves, you know, when you look when you reflect upon all these examples, and and there's so many more, as you know, um, you know, ask yourself, where are the examples in our ceramic literature of weak women, you know, every single one of these examples are like pillars of, you know, strength pillars, pillars of bravery and strength. And, you know, even if you think about how deja vu Allahu anhu, who's the one who was the pillar of strength in supporting the profit sort of law when he was sitting in his moment of vulnerability, you know, in which he feared his own

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sanity.

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You know, it's kind of like that moment, when you realize the name comes to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam the first time and says, get caught up, this neuropathy can lead the holla, you know, reading the name of what the Lord who created, you know, created, and, and somehow, like, you know, the proper sort of loneliness. And when this happened to him, he didn't actually know what's going on with himself. You know, he was, it was obviously Yani imagined such a situation, you know, and he goes back to God, God alone, one has, you know, trembling, he doesn't know what's happening to himself, but who's the one who stands next to him in that moment of vulnerability, you know, and

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what is it God alone has say, How does she face that situation with complete calmness, you know, and saying color of shirt, you know, no seat, seek the good news for life for one la heat. Now, you Hosie Cola, whoever that you know, a lot, a lot, you know, I swear by Allah, Allah will never cause you to be disgraced ever, you know, it's parallel, you're a person who, you, you maintain the blood ties, you know, you you're honest, in your speech and upright in your speech, you support the the weak and the oppressed. And you, you know, you You're, you're generous to the, to the guest, you know, somehow that alone will never cause you to be to be, you know, to be humiliated or to be lost.

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So, you know, and, and to Panama to if you, you'll also, you know, reflect upon the many women

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throughout, you know, throughout especially the times of the prophets that Alliance them and you know, the whole whole affair or actually Dean, if you, you know, reflect upon their examples about how they would, you know, speak up, they would ask questions, they would even sometimes openly refute certain statements made by males to harbor and no, no, no one would no one in that in those times would tell her, you know, don't speak like that, because you're a woman, for example, or, you know, no one would would call her a feminist, for example, but for asking for her rights in Islam.

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And an example of this, you know, a good example of this is if you look at what happened during the halifa, at the time of the halifa, Rama radi Allahu anhu, when he you know, he was standing on the

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standing on the minbar standing on the pulpit. And, you know, he gave a talk to the, you know, to the companions, and all those were present. And he wanted to restrict the amount of Mahara because he found people going to excesses in the amount of dowry they're giving to the women. And you know, and he wants to put a restriction on this because we're getting out of control. And so it's apparently when he left the minbar one of the women, you know, she came up to him. And she said to him, yeah, and yeah, I need more money and you know, lead up the believers. Haven't you heard that a lot wholesalers sent down the cron Tatum ish, the bottom bar on valetta Voodoo minutia. And if you

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had given one of them a pin bar in an amount of gold, then don't take any of that back. And, you know, she says, and cattle can starve, you know, Arkansas is a very large amount, it's a very large amounts of gold.

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And so Subhanallah when, when this woman spoke up, you know, and said this, to honor it, Allahu anhu. His reaction, as reported in some narrations is that he said, you know, Verily, verily, a woman has arrived the truth, while I'm not has arrived, you know, almost made a mistake, kind of lost. So this is the humbleness we've seen the Sahaba you know, like it, it's never about gender, it's, it's about the truth. That's what we should be concerned about, we can be focused upon. So it's just it's, it's, it's from looking at, you know, the examples that Allahu taala gave us, you know, looking at all these examples that we learn, you know, the true meaning of femininity in

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Islam, and you know, what defines the personality of a Muslim ummah.

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And like I said, you know, there's not one example that Allahu Allah has given us of a believing woman, except you find she was like a pillar of strength and your pins power law. So, you know, for us to properly understand the meaning of being a strong muslimah being it, you know, it's very important, I just want to before I go on, you know, I want to also say that, for us to, you know, properly understand the meaning of being a strong muslimah it's important, we also understand what being strong isn't, okay? Because sometimes, when we go through certain things, we might, you know, go back in the opposite direction of what is you know, what being strong isn't. So, it's important,

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we understand what being strong isn't, so that we don't fall in any into any type of extreme.

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So, like, number one, what we can say is, you know, being strong, does not mean we have to adopt, for example, aggressive feminism, feminism, for example, right. And the way we could define this, as we see the reaction of some, you know, that, well, you basically reject any native men, you know, where you have beliefs where all men are basically framed as being almost like our enemies and being part of the patriarchy, you know.

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So, we have to realize that, you know, in Islam, you know, men and women are not supposed to be enemies to each other, like, a lot of credit, both men and women should complement one another. And, you know, one of the things that Allahu Allah tells us is that, you know, the way we're supposed to look at men, you know, our perception of men is that, you know, men are our allies, they're our allies, who, you know, they back us up, they support us. And so just as we work to support them, like we need to, we would need to work hand in hand, it's very clearly in our teachings, you know, in both the Quran and Sunnah. But you know, look at the ayah in the Quran, where Allah, Allah says,

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well, and what Nina? Well, Minato but I'll go home earlier about, you know, like that, that believing men and believing women, they are only act to each other, they helpers and supporters of each other. So we cannot be successful, you know, we're not going to be successful.

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In you know, overcoming our difficulties overcoming problems in our oma until we learn to work together, we can't be working against each other. And, you know, I need, it's very important that we do acknowledge that many sisters have had bad experiences, you know, sometimes even traumatic experiences with men, unfortunately. And you know, but what I want to say here is that it's very important that we don't allow those bad experiences to cause us to then fall into like a type of, you could call it victim mentality where we basically blame all men for what we've suffered. Right? So

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if you look at what the prophet said, a lot of them told us, he told us that this that there will always be those who uphold justice in this oma right, there's always gonna be those who uphold the truth and uphold justice in this oma like, the messenger, the last sort of law of oneness and sin led to their lupa mean, Amati Allen help, that they'll always remain a group from amongst my own mother upon the truth. Okay, so that's why my dear sisters, you know, in particular, I'm talking to you, you know, we shouldn't lose hope, we should not lose hope and think that, you know, there's no good men out there anymore. Like, I do hear that a lot. When people say, there's no good men out

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there anymore. You know, the reality is the prophets that alone when he was someone has told us, there's always going to be, you know, amongst these Omar, those men in his former who genuinely care and respect and stand up for the rights of women, okay. So, you know, we've got to it comes down to, like I said, that we've got to realize that the only way we're ever going to be able to solve all these problems that's happening in our homes and outside our homes, you know, the issues that we're having, we're not going to solve these until we learn to work together with our men, and you know, not against them, it's very important.

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So another thing he too, I wanted to mention is that, you know, being strong does not mean that you need to also make, you know, men as our standard of what represents strength. Okay, so, what does that mean? You know, basically, why do we have to act and behave like men, and think that that's the only way that we can be strong? Right? And if you look at what, you know, the prophets that allowed us then, you know, he showed us that, you know, that for men to imitate women and for men to imitate men, this is something that's denounced, it's something denounced in Islam. And, you know, basically, we can say that gender is something clearly defined in Islam. And so whatever is we can,

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the way I can, you know, explain this is that, you know, whatever is considered to be like an exclusive trait of the way that men behave, then women should not, not women should not be, you know, trying to imitate that and just as men should not, you know, imitate women in their exclusive traits, either, right. So, how does that translate, you know, to think that you need to lose your femininity.

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In order to be seen as strong, you know, why do we have to know your femininity in order to be seen as strong? Okay? So, like, somehow, like going back to those examples I gave you before, we just looked at all these very feminine examples of strength. So, you know, if you think about that strength, you know, and think about, for example, the strength of it, I think about the strength of Khadija body, Allahu anhu, man, you know, they didn't need to go, did he need to go around acting on on money

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in order for them to be, you know, respected and taken seriously. Alright, so, like I said, the key is not for us to you know, take our men as, as, you know, take men as our standard of what needs to be strong. Rather, all we need to do is basically search within within our own gender, to find those examples of true strength and inshallah, at the end of my talk, I'm actually going to go through some, you know, practical tips on how we can, you know, strengthen ourselves inshallah.

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Alright, another another point to that I want to mention is that, you know, being strong does not being does not actually mean, being aggressive in general. I mean, and this is for men and women both, it's not just for not just for women, you know, and we see that the Hadith of the prophets, that alone is doing what she says they said, should do you do the slot, you know, like that, that should be the strong person is not the one who gets lets himself get angry quickly. Right. And, and he's tries to show, you know, his wrestling through his anger and things like that and become aggressive through his anger. But in a nutshell, dia de la de young, diku nappsa. Like that this

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should be it. Sorry, the strong one. Yeah, need a strong person is, in fact, the one who's able to, um, they're able to control themselves, and they're able to control themselves when they get angry. Right. So, you know, in fact, I'm going to talk about that as well, too, you know, being assertive is far stronger than being like an aggressive person, okay. So there's no need for a person, you know, you don't stroke, you don't show your strength through swearing, you don't show your strength through being rude to others, you don't structure your strength, you show your strength, through, you know, oppressing others, that's not the way to show strength, that's not strength. Okay. So this

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is where we have to make sure we don't fall into things that go the opposite of what strength means.

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Um, another thing as well is, you know, being strong does not mean acting opposite to a hair. Right. And it's important for us to define al-hayat because some people think that, hey, I was just, you know, putting on T jackets, you know, I think that's, yeah, but, you know, what is unhealthy? Yeah, basically, it is a type of bullet, but it's a, it's a mannerism, that, you know, prevents a person from basically saying, or doing anything that's, like, considered to be vulgar or not befitting of the personality of a believer. All right, that's what's on here. That's how we define and hate. And this is exactly why the prophets that are long on Islam said, either lambda study does not mesh it,

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like if you don't like, because a person doesn't even feel embarrassed in front of a law, and they don't even feel embarrassed in front of the people, then to whatever you want, because basically, you've lost your self respect, okay, you've lost your self respect. So, having an Haier is about respecting yourself, and through respecting yourself, others respect you through that a case but you know, when you know, so we have to understand that, you know, being strong does not mean, you ask, you start acting in a way, where you lose your hair, you lose your dignity, you lose that respectability. Okay. Um, and sometimes, and here, we should mention, I'll give you some examples to

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sort of clarify this more, you know, sometimes we'll find that, you know, obviously, you know, obviously, how did you really allow her for example, she was a huge example to us, you know, of, of a powerful and strong woman, right? There's no doubt that she was a strong woman, and, you know, she was a businesswoman, all those things, but it's important that we don't then, you know, unfortunately, some people do this. So they, they basically wrongly, use her example to support what they're doing, which is actually going outside the bounds of Sharia, right? So for example, they might say, you know, like, you know, they're mixing with men without placing appropriate boundaries

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without acting in a refined manner and a dignified manner and things like that right. You can't use a God alone on her to support that type of behavior that is you know, basically taking you out without outside the bounds of [???]ty art because if you look at the reality is that you know, how do you do it along line How was only ever known to have the highest level of respectability and virtue in her way of interacting with the opposite gender. Okay, so and that was even before Islam, the power law, so it's important that we don't start to confuse you know, these these issues and, you know, if you look at what the prophets

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Along with us and also told us he so al-hayat will Eman Khurana and Jimmy on right. So that and hey, yeah, and any men, both modesty and a man they are companions to each other, but either offer huduma Rafa, like if one of them is raised, the other is writing and what I mean by that is when someone practices,

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okay when they practice and how yet they stay away from everything that is considered to be not the fitting of a believer in the way you speak in the way that you you know, behave in the way you, you know, the things you do, then you'll find your demand will go up, you'll be protected from a lot of sins by that as well. Right. And similarly, if we act, the opposite of that, you'll find the demand will go down too, because you'll end up going into doubtful matters, you end up going into,

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you know, saying things which you know, can end up taking you into the hot arm or you know, actions which are hot on. So, that's what we need to keep in mind as well. Now, I'm not on the other side, okay, there's another extreme as well, which is unfortunately very widespread in the Muslim community. And that is that, you know, a lot of women Unfortunately, they think that, you know, being strong,

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ah, means basically staying in a relationship that jeopardizes your spiritual connection to Allah. Right.

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And, unfortunately, we missed a lot of cases where women are staying in relationships, where basically their spiritual connection to our lives completely jeopardized. They can't even pray anymore because they're so like, they're so distant from Allah through the what they're going through, in some of them are placing their lives in danger, their mental state in danger. So, you know, unfortunately, we do see a lot of cases of domestic violence, I don't know how the cases around the world, but here in Australia, you know, working on the ground, we have a lot of these cases, and a lot of women, they, they keep on sort of staying within these relationships, which they

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like, they can't even they don't even, it's like they're so distant from Allah, they don't even know how to have the time pray, that's how desperate The situation has become. And obviously, we can read we know that in you know, from the positive [???]ty hour that, you know, we have to place our team first, our Dean has to always come first no matter what. So we have to realize that that's not being strong, being strong is not just, you know, placing your, your your dean at risk, placing your life at risk your mental state these things, right, and I'm talking about genuine cases, you're not just people making that as an excuse, right. So, um, and then the other thing too, that a lot of women

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fall into as well is like, you know, being strong does not mean letting people you know, walk all over your self esteem, and to reduce or disrespect and take advantage of you. And then you say, Well, you know, I'm being patient, and I'm being strong by just putting up with that. Right. So, that's, that's actually not strong, you know, so strength, you know, just to understand what is strength, you know, strength is, you know, basically what our, you know, what our Deen teaches us is, you know, you need to learn to take action to do whatever is in your power to change your situation for the better. If we look at her job,

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ready, Allahu anhu, you know, she didn't just sit there and give into circumstances, right? She gave it all she had to, you know, try to change her situation for the better. Well, of course, having full tawakkul and, you know, trusting and you're painting, Allahu Allah, right? So, it's important that we learn that we need to take control of our situation and try to look for the ways that we can bring about better change for ourselves. And, you know, and not just give into situations and think that that it's been strong by doing so because we put a lot of people at risk, including ourselves.

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And so always realize that, you know, even if it's just one small step that you can take towards change to you know, bring about positive change and improve your situation, then you should look into that, you know, whether it's going to a psychologist going to a counselor, reaching out and getting that emotional support, you need to strengthen yourself inshallah, in your situation. Okay, so,

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I want to just go back to talking about, you know, we need to looking at all those different extremes, so different extremes of what a lot of people kind of getting to, in regards to what they think is being a strong, you know, being strong. Um, we need to realize that it's them gives us the balance, right? Is that is what gives us the balance between these different extremes that we see happening in it, you know, amongst sisters. And that's exactly why you know, Islam is known as Dean was Sophia, right. Islam is known as the religion of moderation. Well, a it that you know, the religion of moderation, the region of balance. So whenever you see extremes going on, know that

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Islam is somewhere in the middle, it's never this way, and it's never that way. It's some way, smack in the middle and you can look for that model, you're gonna look for that motor path always. Okay. So, let's define what is this you know, what is the strong muslimah you know, that define that like, you know, what does it mean? You know, if you're strong

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In your head, you're strong in your modesty. You're strong in your dignity and your respectability, you know, you're holding, you know, you hold strong and tightly onto your Islamic principles. You hold firmly onto your you know, it's like manners and morals. You know, you're not you know, you're strong you're not giving into your nuts, right? You're strong in not getting into naps, you're, you know, you're strong in not following your desires and, and or following the crowd and being a people pleaser, right? That's not strength, right. Um, another thing you know, you're strong in raising your voice and enjoying the enjoying the good and forbidding the evil and and, you know, speaking up

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against injustice and oppression and and oppression, okay, that's for women as well. Right? And this is the type of strength that we need to revive in the women of our ummah. Right We need to revive this particular strength in intimate women about Omar like, if you look at what Allahu Allah says in Surah Toba through the Toba Allah Allah says well Mina well Minato Babu Alia about like I read before right but then what does he say? So the believing men and believing women they are only act to each other their protectors and supporters of each other right? But what then what what's the job yet more on a bimodal freeway and how nanny mukha right that they enjoy and maruf they enjoying

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whatever is good, whatever is justice, okay whatever is the Huck whatever is the truth willian hona animoca and they forbid whatever it is, you know are whatever is you know you consider it to be against what Allah and His messenger came with whatever is considered to be injustice, you know, anything like anything that goes against what the [???]ty are came with and the the the you know, what the purpose is the main purpose of [???]tier you know, like the goals of Sharia then we need to be working together to to denounce these things and speak up about them together, right? So if we look at what a loss you know, shows us in this aim he's showing us that he wants all of us to be

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strong in standing up for the truth and enjoying it together not just one and for the and leaving the other one silent and passive right so you know, it's very clear that a lot of dinos you know, never said that it was only for men, okay alldata does not want the reality is that Allahu Allah does not want for any of us except to be strong. Okay, he wants us all to be strong. Why? Because think about a loss from Allah hotel is Beautiful Names and attributes his alpha we write Allahu taala is alpha v. And he loves them. I mean, who is poly? Allah loves them I mean, who is strong? Jani she's aware right? But of course in the semi definition of that not like I told you before,

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right so you can look up the profits that along with us and sick he tells us and what we now call we hirundo I have no law he may not want me no grief. So that the the strong woman is more bitter and more love to Allahu taala than the weak woman even though this hiring invoice of course is higher is goodness in both but Allah loves the strong Alright, so this is a very defined to what the image of what is the strong what may not have a strong what's the main shala May Allah help us all to be there because none of us are strong mighty sisters without the help of a lot and that's what we're going to now talk about it give you some tips. inshallah, on how we can try to strengthen ourselves.

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You know, look, I'll be honest with you, I don't usually do these live talks. Okay. I, I don't know, this is I don't know, for some reason, I am very happy and comfortable speaking in front of a public audience, but when it comes to doing live talks like this, I just feel like I don't know who's out there who's listening to me and but I said to myself, if I'm going to be talking about a strong listing, I need to try to step up and be that be like that. Yeah, I can't, you know, what is Allah say? Yeah, let me know. The meta colonna. meloetta following you know, like, what do you say what you don't do? So I thought, if I'm going to talk about this, I need to actually implement this

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myself. Right? So I'm pretty low. Anyway, but let me go back to how we can, you know, build our industry. Alright, obviously, there's so much to mention here. We probably could take days talking about this, but I'm just going to try to mention a few really vital points that can help you

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so number one, don't expect to be strong if you're not seeking it from alpha realizes right? If you want to be strong, don't expect to be strong. If you're not seeking that strength from away from the most strong allies is the most mighty right? Don't expect to be strong and have strong European and strong certainty and to work in a law if you're not constantly focused each day on maintaining your connection to allies origin, okay, we that's the number one you have to be firmly ground right. And you have to be working on that always. It's not something like oh, I can just work on it in Ramadan, or work on can make connection with a low tide animal bond, but the rest of the year I just

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everything fall apart. Okay. So obviously something

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Sheba Yani number one. Number one is the prayers. Okay? How on earth? Would we expect our foundation in Al Islam to be strong? If we're not? We're, you know, we're not focused on prayers because imagine the Messenger of Allah even told us that what are the prayers? What did they represent? The dean, they are our Moodle Islam, right. So the prayers are actually the foundation of our whole region. Okay, so, and the way I usually describe these two sisters, I say to them,

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if you were to build a house, okay, and you don't make the foundation firm, no matter how beautiful that house is, at the top,

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it will also take is for one big gust of wind to come, and the whole thing is going to fall apart. Why? Because you didn't make your foundation strong. So don't expect to be to have that strength like Khadija like I shot like, like, you know, hajer, right. When you're not like focusing on being constant in your prayer, praying your prayers on time, and being diligent about that, because that, you know, you won't gain the strength without being close to a lot, right. So that's number one. And, and, you know, so I say the sisters, if you don't feel strong for some particular reason, if you don't, if you're feeling a bit vulnerable, and you're practicing religion, or whatever that is,

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um, have a look at your prayers, see how, how much you're trying to, you know, be careful with praying your prayers on time, because it makes a huge difference. Okay. The second thing, obviously, as well is doing a lot of the curve a lot and doing your car, you know, in the morning in the evening is very important, but it really does strengthen you. I mean, look, what do you get out of constantly remembering a lot, you're realigning your purpose, always right. You're realigning your mind to be thinking about what is the what is the most important thing I should be working towards? Right. Okay, working towards a lot in the theater. That is my number one goal I should be always

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worried about. Right. And, and that's what gives you the strength, when you know that that's your goal, that helps you overcome a lot of a lot of, you know, obstacles that you know, can can come in your mind and make you have all this like what's what's uh, you know, negative thoughts that you think that you can overcome your situation. Okay? And if you look at what email Abraham Allah said about, shall Islam, even taymiyah Rahim Allah, you know, he was so amazed by his teacher, she even told me, like, he couldn't believe like how this this cola was able to the amount of books, he was able to read the things he was able to write, you know, how he would be able to sit for hours

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giving, you know, you know, giving his fatality, teaching the oma all of these things. And he was just amazed with it, you know, it's been a lot, but the interesting thing is, look at what Shakib and Timmy used to pay attention to. Right? In the morning, after he used to take that time out, to you know, do his the curve Allahu taala he would sit there and remember a line practice mentioning he would remember a lot for a lot for a long time in the morning. Okay.

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And then if he was asked, what do you do that he would say heavy, well, don't you know, like, this is more like my nourishment. This is like my, my fuel my nourishment. And if I don't nourish myself, if I don't take care of that, if I don't take this nourishment, less support, that's cool karate, like, you know, my my, my strength would would go because where's my strength ultimately from my strength is ultimately from Allah which is, so with Allah, you can do amazing things that you wouldn't be able to do by yourself. So how long so this is something to keep in mind that you want to be you want to be strong and you want to get overcome your obstacles, you need to turn to a lot

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and gain that strength from him.

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And then the other thing which we have to mention in this this part, you know, is you've got to be also close to the Quran. Why did Allah send the Quran mighty sisters and brothers, you know, for us to be strong? It's It's a tool to use in this life like, don't you think online you there's going to be so many we're a tribe with so many different tests and tribulations. But Allah gave us those things to help us overcome those things and to be strong in the face of all of that, right. And you look at what a lot of us did to yah, yah, yah, yah, yah, hoo, the Al Kitab Baba, hold onto the revelation with gua hold on to it with strength. Because when you do that, when you hold on to the

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revelation, both in the way you pay attention to reciting it, memorizing it and especially acting upon it. That's what gives you the strength, you get the strength from Allahu taala through that, okay.

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So moving on. So like I said, the first thing to pay attention to, is realize that you can't be strong and this year with Allah, Allah, Allah is the one who gives you the strength, right? But then secondly, the other thing too is learn to live to please Allah alone, right? Learn to live to please Allah alone. And this has to be honestly one of the most empowering principles to live by. If you can understand this and apply it in your life. You'll see how powerful this principle is because, look, it frees you from the fear

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Have of needing to be a people pleaser, okay? It frees you from the feeling of a lot of guilt, like a lot of people feel guilt, you know, look, I did all that for and she's not happy and, but if you know that you did that for a lot, you did the best. And as long as you know you've done your best, then, you know, at the end of the day, if you never please everybody, not everyone's gonna be happy with you no matter what you do. But as long as you know you did that for the sake of Allah to Allah, then that's what gives you peace of heart and minds, right? So you learning to live to please Allah alone, this helps you to live in a way that you don't have to worry, you become freed, you basically

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become free from the imprisonment of worrying about the opinions of others. Okay. So, and this leads me to talk about, you know, one of the things we're seeing, unfortunately, in these times is that a lot of people, you know, we see them like going into, like compromising their Islamic values, you know, maybe even compromising practicing their Deen. And what is the reason behind it, because, for example, when some money comes up, or a chance to, you know, get more fame, or, you know, other things, or the temptations of this dunya, right. And then unfortunately, you find them, you know, letting go of their principles, letting go of their, their practices of the dean, and, you know,

00:36:20--> 00:36:54

seeking, you know, seeking to please others or seeking to get that gain in dunya. Right. So, you know, we're gonna remind ourselves that he might seem like they're getting a hit, like, some people might look at them and think, well, they're reading you're getting ahead and what they're doing right. But you have to realize that as long Let me tell you something, sisters, and brothers, if you're out there, let me tell you that over and over again, what I have seen is that, you know, whenever a person and May Allah protect us, but none of us are perfect, right? Absolutely not. But the reality is that every time you choose dunya, and pleasing people over pleasing Allah, you'll

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find that it will ultimately be something that we can do, right? It's ultimately going to be something that we can do, ultimately, as well, you'll find that in fact, will will cause you to lose respect of people in the end as well. Okay, and what is the reason for that? What is the reason for that? Because because, number one, it weakens us spiritually. Right? If you're going into what allies not pleased with your weakened state, spiritually by that, and the other thing is that Allah leads you, you don't have the hope of a lot anymore, right? And you can say this, it's mentioned in a hadith.

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Right didn't even hit burn in a telemovie. It's mentioned by Ayesha Curry Allahu weinheim, which she said that many million teleSUR

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reborn ness, whoever goes seeking the, you know, the pleasure of the people who suffer Tila. Um, you know, whoever goes seeking that the pleasure of people, while they're displacing Allah subhanaw taala, who may, in fact, Allah will end up being displaced with them well as Fatah, la hiddenness, and you'll cause the people to be displeased with them ultimately, right. And the other part of the Hadith says that whoever seeks to please Allah, even though people are not pleased with them, people might not be pleased of what you're doing, or what you're saying. But as long as you're doing that, sincerely for the sake of Allah, according to the Sunnah of the Prophet, sallAllahu wasallam, Allah

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will be pleased with you, and eventually he'll cause people to be pleased with you. So once you know this principle, this is a very empowering principle. And this is why I always say to that, you know, many times are going to come up in your life, where Allah is gonna test you to choose who do you love more, you know, who do you love more? And, you know, basically, and this is why we need to be saying to ourselves each time when if you want to think about how to be successful in this life in the next, right, we want to be successful in this life at the expense of the next. Okay, so if you want to be successful, in this life, unique and in the next as well, you need to be asking yourself,

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is what I'm saying pleasing to Allah? Is what I'm doing, pleasing to Allah, or am I just saying that and you know, are doing that just to make people happy with me? If that's the only reason, right? So, you know, finishing up on this point, you know, learn to live your truth, you know, it's not easy. I'm not saying it's easy, sometimes your voice is going to shake, but you're going to realize that all strength olessa all strength, all honor is with Allahu taala alone. And this one we're going to we're going to keep on turning back to that.

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The next thing I want to mention as well in how to be a strong Muslim and Sharla May Allah help us all to be that one be inilah and that is you've got it. Knowledge is very, very important. Okay. When I'm talking about knowledge, knowledge of the law, no, who knows? No, who is a law, right? Knowledge of a lot of names and attributes, knowledge of your team, you know, knowledge of your rights in Islam as well as a Muslim. All right. So knowledge is one of the greatest forms of empowerment.

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If you know, especially if you want to be strong in your identity as a Muslim, okay, if you want to feel confident in raising your voice against injustice and oppression, you need to have strong knowledge.

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To start off with, you want to do all these things like a lot of people want to do all these things, how much have you worked on, you know, strengthen your knowledge base to start off with? Okay. Now, I want to give an example here, look, I shot while your loved one had, you know, ask yourself what was it that gave her the leverage to be able to have the competence to speak up for the truth and not worry about what other people thought about her? Okay, it was her knowledge. And you know so many times you'll see how I show when your loved one How would you know fearlessly correct statements said by even some of the heads of Sahaba right, like there was a time

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I love this. I love this narration you know, where I show by the alarm Has she heard of the raven Ahmad telling women that when they don't go to take a horse up to Geneva, like after being intimate with their husbands, that they have to undo all their braids, because I used to, you know, they used to braid the hair many tight braids.

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And so he was telling them that they have to undo all their braids every single time they take what's

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you know, from ginebra? And so what does she say? She says, This is very strange on the part of even online, you know, he is telling women to undo the braids. When they do and Wilson, why doesn't he just go tell them to shave their heads. And then she says she gives the proof. She said Verily the process that a lot of cinnamon, I used to take Lawson, in one vessel. And I never did more than pour water over my head three times. Right? And it's hard it is a Muslim. Okay, so see here, you know, because she's got the knowledge, no one can push her around. And she feels confident to speak up against injustice. And this is the problem a lot of sisters have that you don't know, your rights to

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start off with, do not able to stand up for yourself. Okay, so it's very important. And this is what we find. Unfortunately, a lot of women found themselves in these disempowering situations, what is the reason because they don't have knowledge and realize my dear sisters, and of course brothers too, you know, when you don't have the knowledge, it's so easy for people to take advantage of you and push you into accepting, you know, situations that you should never have to accept, like, over the years, I can't even tell you how many reboots I saw, you know, unfortunately, you know, because of they're always the ones in general taken advantage of in particular, what what is the reason

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she's a target because she doesn't have the knowledge to start off with. So unfortunately, she becomes a target for people to you know, take advantage of her. And you know, if we look at the state of our of our women in this Alma Okay, what is one of the reasons why there is a lot of we do find a lot of disempowerment and amongst our sisters, because unfortunately, for many hundreds of years, they were shut out of the massage it, you know, like, they didn't get the chance to learn about them, you know, learn the knowledge of their Deen. And to you know that some cases, as we know, in some places in the world, there's not even a place for them to come in. And I'm not talking

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about just in one mosque, I'm talking about in all the mosques, okay? Of course, we understand that. Not every Masjid may be able to provide a place, but when we're talking about every single mystery, you know, what I mean, by this, this is a problem. And then we find Why don't we find our sisters having such a lack of knowledge, and they are the ones, you know, raising the next generation and yet somehow Allah,

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you know, and if, if women don't have that knowledge, then like I said, it's so easy for them to be taken advantage of the man, you know, her husband can just or anyone who family can just basically tell you just do this, you know, and, and she just readily accepts because she's scared of a law she, you know, she wants to do the right thing. And unfortunately, they get manipulated into doing things that they would never be had had accepted. Had they had the knowledge, you know, that leverage to know that no, this is not right. I shouldn't accept this. Allah gave me this right. And the Messenger of Allah, so long as I'm told me this, okay, this is that's very important.

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But the fourth point that I want to mention as well is, you know, your net, you need to also know your self worth. It's very important. You need to work on your self esteem, because you don't even have the knowledge. And, you know, in all of these things, you're trying really hard. First of all, I pray five times a day, I do everything, but for some reason, I don't feel confident, you know, so often, it's because you need to work on your self esteem, you need to know your self worth, like, unfortunately, we all know that a lot of sisters just self hate. They hate themselves. I can't even I've known some poor sisters that if I was to ask them, tell me something good about yourself. She

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said, there's nothing good about me. Okay, so this is something very worrying when someone can't even tell you one good thing about themselves. I mean, the fact that Allah chose you to be a Muslim, ah, they must be so many great virtues in you. Okay. And I just want to mention that, you know, one of the things that I learned from I shot she was not afraid to mention her self worth. Okay? Of course not from that we're not talking about being arrogant. Okay, we shouldn't go into arrogance. But like, sometimes is it there are times and places where you need to be someone, especially when someone's putting you down. You need to be able to state your worth and not let people trade on your

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trade on your dignity. Okay, so like we know sometimes with Aisha, she would you know, she would say she wasn't afraid to say you know, you know all of you otherwise

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Your family's married you do the profits that alone is and but a lot is the one who married made to the profit sort of longest than him you know. And the Quran Allah chose allow data chose my house for the Quran to be revealed in it, you know, so she would mention these type of things. You know, I learned that from her some kind of law. So this is we have to try to implement this for ourselves.

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Another thing is to learn how to become assertive. This is very empowering for women and for anyone in fact, not just women, anyone who especially if you've been a person who's gone through some type of impression oppression in your life, and learn to be become more assertive. And what does that mean, it doesn't mean being aggressive, like we already spoke about strength is not aggressiveness, okay? So a lot of women have trouble in navigating this, like, you'll find when you're younger, you tend to be a lot more passive, you tend to be you know, just keep you know, on being patient, you don't say anything, you'd like things are going on people treating you dignity, you just be quiet,

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be quiet, I'm doing this for a while You said yourself, but then one day, you can't take it anymore. And then she goes the opposite direction, she ends up becoming totally aggressive taken out everybody you know. So, um, it is important to go and read up, you know, sisters about how to be assertive, it's like a middle ground. It's about saying how you feel, you know, you're allowed to have feelings, you're allowed to not be happy with things that don't make you feel good. And to be in a state that confidently but not in an aggressive way, but like to be heard, you know, you have a right to be heard. Right. So, like I said, it's important that you you go and read about that,

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because it takes probably going in shall have a session on that with the sisters, you know, explain about it. But, you know, it does take practice as well, like you can read about it, but then it's going to take practice to build that up. Like it's not easy in the beginning, because you're so used to not speaking up for what how you feel and you know, but an example I'll just give a quick example like to say, you know, look, I understand that you might have meant that however, I thought what I was gonna let you know that I did feel, you know, upset when that happens. You know, for example, you know, so you acknowledge the other person, you try to give them the benefit of the doubt that

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maybe they didn't do that on purpose, and they didn't mean to hurt your feelings. However, when they did that to you, it made you feel sad, it made you feel like maybe worthless, when you said something like that, to me, it's important to be able to convey your feelings and how you feel. Um, and one thing that does help choose, look for assertive people around you, you'll find that there are some people who have like some women able to confidently like sort of state how they feel when they when they feel like someone's trotting on their their arm, you know, trodden on their dignity and put them down in some way, you'll find that they'll follow that up, they'll let the person know

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like, not be not be like, I'm not be like passive, passive aggressive, where instead of going and talking to the person openly about that, you go behind their back and start gossiping about them, backbiting them, because you know, you've stopped said what they've done, but you don't have enough that you don't do something about it. So, you know, being assertive is about taking control of the situation.

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Another thing as well, this is like my second last point, inshallah, and that is learning how to take responsibility for your own life, it's very important that sisters learn how to do this, like, you know, we need to stop the blame my circumstances game, and you know, feeling sorry for us self mentality, like we do fall into this a lot. And this can be on the home front, you know, in our houses, but even even in the oma as well it plays into that as well. Because, like we can just see him feel sorry for ourselves as women, you know, look at us, you know, all these things are happening to us in the world. And but what are we doing about sisters, you understand, so we need to

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take proactive measures to change our situation for the better. And not just like getting that victim mentality whether understate on the home front, or in the wider or my front. Okay. And one of my favorite hobbies, you know, one of my favorite hobbies from the profits that alone is seven, he tells us how to be that far we he tells us exactly how to be that strong Muslim, how to be that strong believer, right? And let me know before we hire one, we're have Buddha law. He didn't want me Nobody told you that part of it before that the strong woman is better and more love to a lot than the mean, even though both this hiring both right then what did you tell us to do?

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Alana and folk, like, focus on what benefits you right? What stain belay, will attaches and seek the help of a lot and don't despair. And don't give up hope. And don't just give up, keep going keep going with your efforts, right? When a Saba cache fled to coal low and the file to Canada, Canada or Canada, like if something goes wrong and things don't work out the way you were hoping don't sit there and say, Oh, if only I did that, or if only I did that, you know, then you know, this would it would have been like this. It would have been better, right? Or it wouldn't worked out like that. But what you should say instead is say, Adora La Hoya ShareFile What are more distant anyway he will

00:49:52--> 00:50:00

happen happened and what Danny and what he just didn't happen happened. This is what we need to be saying. Because there's no

00:50:00--> 00:50:40

Use because once you start, you know, once you start saying If only I did that or if only that happened or you know and you beat you beat yourself up about it. What does it do as the Messenger of Allah told us but in low, this word low this word if only, that's the whole ominous shape bond it opens up the doors of shaitan it opens up the, the, you know, you opened the door for Siobhan to come and whisper to you are looking, you know, and you start regretting and you start having anxiety and all of these things kind of law. So, like, Look, the bottom line is, you know, we need to be proactive, like our Islam teaches us to be proactive, no matter how impossible the circumstances may

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be, you do whatever is in your power. And I find that amazing that, you know, allowed Allah chose Madame alayhis salaam when she is in her

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ultimate situation of like, you know, helplessness, you know, what did he tell her? What was the lake Ebg de nada, like, go, you know, go to the nut, like, go to the Napa, you know, she's heavily you know, in labor and all of these things in absolute helplessness. But I told her go and shake the palm tree, even though it takes 10 men 10 strong men couldn't even shake a palm tree, right? But it tells us gonna shake the palm tree in order for the dates, the right dates, or the provision to be falling down and a lot you know, a lot of spontaneous help will come to you. But you're taking that small action even though it might seem hopeless, and almost impossible for that help to come to you

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at that moment. So we learned from her story that to take the action no matter how small it is not you know don't feel hopeless, just keep on going and seeking the help of a lot right. So the last thing is know with certainty, know with your heart and mind that learn how Allah wala quwata illa Allah, there is no you know, there is no power and there is no strength, except with Allah hota Allah so none of us can be truly strong without the help of Allah. And you know, what brings weakness is depending on others and the Messenger of Allah, so it allowed us and told us menta Allah shayan Wookiee la la, whoever puts the whole, you know, dependence into something, you'll be left to

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that alone will leave you to that. So that's why, you know, we shouldn't just only depend on our own efforts, we need to always you know, of course, you need to do something yourself, but you need to ultimately first and foremost, put your dependence upon Allah to achieve all of your aims. Alright, so and you can look at more salad slim,

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as strong as most of us and he's a prophet and messenger as strong as he was. But what is what is he What does he say? I'll be shortly sadly, you know, he turns to alliances y'all open up my chest, we are silly Amri make my make my affair easy for me somehow law so I'll wrap it up inshallah for today. But I just want to wrap up by saying, you know, that, you know, the reality is that, let's say this, that the Muslim woman who is connected to Allah, she is the strongest woman on earth. And we should be the strongest woman on earth. Right? If we had that true connection with Allah, we can be the strongest women on Earth. But the most important thing My dear sisters is to you know, teach

00:53:16--> 00:53:56

yourself how to be that pillar of strength, right, we need to teach ourselves how to be that pillar of strength. And one of the main ways to do that, like I said, is to reflect upon the vast examples that Allah has given us of all of these strong women. And you know, and and just ask yourself when you face a particular situation, you know, what would I should have done in situation what if what would have Dejah has said in this situation, and then you'll know how to act inshallah, as a strong muslimah be even Illa heater Allah wa Kuru polyhedra what a stone for lava Lee will icon was a pentacle, la who will be handy national Allah, Allah, Allah and the stop ruka wanted to avoid like