Reflections – Keep The Flame Of Love Burning
Channel: Sulaiman Moola
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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were bad. No human is an island. We are social creatures. And part of our social interaction is we have a family network. We have friends we have associates we have in laws and so on and so forth. Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks in the Quran, Allah, Allah comin Allah in Bashara fudger Allah who nessa Ben was so raw, that Allah has created man from a fluid, privileged him with an ancestry and extended his family with in laws. And we all develop bonds and relationships and attachment with individuals at some point or the other in our life. But the key question is, what can we adopt to sustain the relationship so husband and wife prior to marriage
prospective couple, they had a crush over each other. They had an infatuation over each other, they got married, but unfortunately it was a short stint and then it fizzles away, or brothers were close together and then at some point, the relation becomes sour and it takes pear shape and it's unpleasant. I share with you today a very amazing quotation of aroma hatari Allahu anhu, who used to say that there are three qualities youth bitonal would the face of a Sikh if you can imbibe that, then it will preserve and sustain the relationship, it will keep the flame of love and affection burning between you and your beloved. Now what are those three qualities briefly of Satan, Amara,
the Allahu anhu. So if I maintained this with my brother in sha Allah, the relationship will only grow stronger and healthier. And if I internalize this in my house with my spouse in sha Allah, it will put an end to bickering and unpleasantness, and it will it will strengthen the relation in sha Allah. The first thing that said now I'm gonna Katara the Allah Allah mentioned in this regard, and Tabitha, who is salam, and Tabitha, who is salam, that whenever you meet your beloved, your neighbor, your brother, your friend, your spouse, your partner, whoever it is, then being the first to initiate a greeting, be the first to initiate a greeting. We do know that the messenger
sallallahu wasallam entities house were two things. It was Salam and seawater. So they would be using a miswak and that is indicates how particular he was about oral hygiene. Because we know the Prophet sallallahu wasallam is blessing teeth would clean his blessed entire body gave a fragrance and I often say this without fear of contradiction, that when the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam got up in the morning, his blessing mouth was more fragrant than our mouth is after brushing our teeth. And that is no exaggeration that's a reality. But he sallallahu wasallam would enter the house with Salaam what Salaam what Salaam and with Miss one, there is innovation in Muslim
Mohammed where Saudi men are bad or the Allahu anhu says that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam came to greet him and he knocked on the door as we learn in Surah Noor in the 18th Jews is the than the adab of is the land seeking permission. Yeah, you have Lavina Amanullah to the Hulu boo tiecon Hi, Stephanie. So what to send lemo Allah Allah, they do not enter into any home other than your own home until you do not see consent. you familiarize yourself and of course you greet the occupants of the house. So the messengers analyze them knocked on the door and Sarah Salam aleikum, there was no response. He knocked for the second time and greeted, there was no reply. And he repeated it for the
third time and nobody replied. So he sallallahu Sallam was returning as he has taught us in the Hadith, that you would seek permission thrice. And if somebody consents, then you will enter and if not, then return. And after the third Salam when he got no reply, he was just about to leave. When Saudi Arabia or whether the Allahu anhu opened the door, and he then welcome the Prophet sallallahu wasallam in and ushered him in, and the messenger sallallahu Sallam said, I greeted once, twice and thrice and I got no reply. And Subhana Allah, what was the reply of sodre the olana he said, O Messenger sterilized him, of course the homes was small, it was not a doorbell that was ringing. It
was not a camera system in which he was seen. It's simple, small, basic average. I heard your footsteps I heard your pleasant voice. And when you greeted, I responded discreetly, so that you could greet for the second time and you could invoke the blessings of Allah upon me again, had I responded The first time you would have not greeted for the second time. Of course, the scholars teach us and tell us that that was driven by the overwhelming desire to attract the blessings in his home. Otherwise that is not the ideal etiquette to subject your
Your your host,
your guests to any form of inconvenience. And we do know that sadly nobody Alon whose motive was absolutely pure and noble. His aim was not to prolong the weight of the messenger sallallahu wasallam. But the point that I'm trying to impress via this incident which Mr. McMahon has quoted, is the value of salam, the value of Salaam, Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions in the Quran, where either you don't retaliate in the accent Amina or Doha, that when you greeted with a greeting, then reply with a similar greeting or something more wholesome. So if a person says that Salam aleikum, reciprocate with the same or extended by saying Ronnie como salam wa rahmatullah wa barakato will
you invoke in the mercy the blessings of Allah upon that person. So the first thing we need to do and we need to become conscious about this, and like I always say if the sub is important, if this app is the mental awareness of the reward promised in executing this action, and he's still alive, he was Selim has also told us that the one who initiate the Salaam is free from pride is free from pride. So the formula to keep a relation active sincerely because you're asking Allah for blessings, so in your heart, you don't want anything unpleasant to grip or inflict this individual. So that's the first thing we ought to do and Tabitha will be Salam. The second amazing quality that we need to
internalize which will preserve and keep the flame of love active towards say, Allah who Phil imagine is that you prepare a space for him, or you reserve a space for him without inconveniencing anyone. Let me qualify that statement in a gathering in a function in a get together. So the Quran speaks about this in the 28th Jews in Surah mujer de la that either de la la quinta fossa, Whoville majority say FAFSA, La La con. Wow, it looks so simple yet look at the reward. Let me give you a verbatim translation what is that the lender can and when it is said to you? The first salvo filled majorities that make some room in a gathering just move up slightly, you know, move forward, inch
forward, make some room and space so other people can come forward and allow them the space give them some room make them comfortable accommodate them. Look at what does the Quran say? The first hopefully majorities FAFSA who gives a high level exam when you are told to make room and space and accommodate, then oblige and comply and allow will give you space? FAFSA, whoa, that's an imperative a command that makes space and the positive outcome of this will be ef sokola hooligan that alone will make space for you. And all the scholars of the theater say what does it mean we will allow make space for you allow will reserve a spot for you in Jannah alone, I'm just certain thing imagine
somebody comes to you and says give me a rupee and I'll give you $1 or give me a Rand and I'll give you a pound or give me a polar and I'll give you a Kuwaiti dinar like you give me one I'll give you one but you've given me something you know in monetary value which is much cheaper and inferior. And I'm going to give it to you back in a currency more wholesome with greater value. Align saying make space make space for your brother for your colleague for your companion for your spouse in a gathering and along will give you space in general. Now this is such a rich teaching of the Quran. Your father in law one Latina man, woman common Latina otolaryngology. The benefit of this is great,
Allah says that the believer station will be elevated and those who have those who have knowledge, they will enjoy multiple status, because they will execute this injunction with deep vision and understanding the context and the text of the Quran. So it will just not be sheer compliance to the head of the gathering, but rather they will do it with an added level of basura understanding that this is an injunction of the Quran. So let's take this into practical scenarios. You're going for a walima you're going for a family get together, or you're going commonly with your brother to a mall you find in a spot where there are two bays, you are occupying one Bay and you are reserving it and
I must qualify without inconveniencing or imposing or encroaching on anyone. Because if you're trying to accommodate someone and you are offending another person, you're telling somebody else to move from his space, then that is not the right way of doing things. But within reason you reserve a spot for someone who comes late. This is something that might look simple, basic, average and insignificant, but said naramata the alarm rang who says this will preserve the relationship? Imagine we do this year? You tell your wife or the wife tells her husband no I'm waiting for you. We will go to
Together we will find a common spot, we will sit together in a setting that is conducive and palatable for for that type of, you know, get together, etc, what it is. So the message here is that these are things that's going to strengthen the relationship. And last but not least, that's it no matter what the Allahu anhu says that the ruler who may have been a smart he lay Subhana Allah, that you address your beloved with a name that he or she loves the most. This is going to keep the flame of love going. Now, recently, I was involved in a particular marital case, and it's a reality. And the marriage was on rocks and it was still Bulent, and I'm not sure if it was dissolved or it was in
the process. And the one spouse asked me to speak to the other spouse so I said Okay, no problem just forward me the the contact details of your spouse. And so that particular spouse and I'm just using the word spouse so that I'm gender neutral, because it could happen in both cases. Sometimes the husband offends the wife or the wife offends the husband both could be either the victim or on the receiving or the inflicting party. So when the spouse forwards me the contact details, what does it show on the phone, the number and the name of the that spouse best? Best? Yet in another instance, I was involved in a case Earth. That's the name he irks me or she owes me or he's the best
She's the best. Now if we refer to our partners as a best, right as a leech is legion of machines leeching off me. Those are not those are not good words. those are those are going to create venom they're going to create poison. They're not going to reduce the level of discord they are going to compound and exacerbated that there will be a smart he lay that use a pleasant name. Now quickly I want to share with you some reflections. In Arabic we refer to nada Mora hum right monada Muhammad Rahim which, which is an easy way and that is a hassle out there. Sometimes you don't have to use a very romantic expression for your partner, or for your friend. You don't have to use something very
hilarious or something you know full of humor. You just drop an omit the last letter. This is also an expression of affection in Arabic. So the messenger sallallahu wasallam. would say yeah, I wish Yeah, I wish. Right there are rules in Nagoya, in matsubara. In you know, in terms of how you will address a person where you drop off, walk on your sofa little feet, when they tell me their different reasons where you are met the last letter of a person's name, just out of love, just out of love your eyes or eyes. This is Gemini conveyed salons to you.
Yet again, we see when the messengers Allison was wrapped up in his cloth in the early days. And many of the scholars say the reason for this was because the disbelievers The Infidel, that referred to him as an Alaia and an imposter and he's analyzed them was sad and depressed. So he wrapped himself up in a government and Allah subhanaw taala then said he are a Muslim male, yeah, a yo helmet deathy right respectively chapter 73 and 74 in the 29, Jews of the Quran, and that was the second revelation of the sutra. So after the next revelation was the sutra, modesitt and Muslim mill, so from this, the scholars deduce that is ethical Ism meenal harlowton mo Judah, that
sometimes just to extract a name from the current situation is also Mooji Mola Prophet, it is a cause of affection, love and warmness. So so you don't really coin a phrase or you don't find a new name, the situation in which your beloved ease is reclining, He's resting, he's walking, and you just extract a name from that situation itself. Often we don't say always because there are different dynamics can also be a sense of an affectionate embrace or an affectionate call out so Allah told the prophets Eliza via a Muslim male Yeah, you helmet. Oh, my beloved Habib's analyzed them wrapped up in a cloth. And this is not only found in the Quran, we find the same analogy
adopted by the messengers of Allah Islam in the Hadith, that when he came home, and he realized that Fatima de la Miranda and Alia the Allahu anhu, his son in law and his cousin had an altercation and had a feud and he inquired from Fatima Ravi Alanna and she said that he was in the masjid. He then came to the masjid and say da da da da Alon was the rest in in the courtyard. Now when he was resting in the courtyard of the messenger of the masjid of the messenger sallallahu sallam, he was envelope in the dust. He was enveloped in the dust.
The province hasn't understood that the moment was rather tense because he had a feud and an altercation with his respective spouse, the queen of the woman of gender. And you can see how visibly rahimullah has written extensively, that even the best of marriages have their fair share of turbulence, that they couldn't be a greater capital and a greater union than any of the alarm and fathima but Subhan Allah they resolve it with respect and dignity. We learn from this the psychology of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and it ties up with these words of give good names, give good names to each other, don't use insensitive names don't make nasty remarks. This is going to burn the the
you know the the lamp of love. It's going to extinguish it. So he said a lot of Salem gay men he said komiya about old dusty characters stand up. Oh dusty fellow stand up. He didn't say earlier the Alanna he said dusty characters authentic Hades in all the books of Hadith and say no, and he then responded, and the narration says it just relax to him. And I know the learning used to go on and say that if somebody called me Ali, I loved it. But if somebody called me dusty character, I would just simply adopted why because that was a bad name and a kunia that the profits analyzed and conferred upon me. Last but not least, in this regard, I share with you an incident briefly when say
that our Moosa journeyed to go to the meeting of the two oceans. Management were in Bahrain as the Quran says, then in the search of knowledge and to meet with either in Buhari Sharif the third chapter is kita bowline. So there's the Bible but then the skateable Eman And then the skateable. And in that anti innovation features, but I want to say is what is called a moose I leave a child who and remember when Moosa said to his young men, so the year Fatah means you shall evening noon according to many of the narrations. It was the servant and the helper of Satan are musante salaam. But the Quran adopted an expression of not worker, helper assistant, no young man, young man skilled
men. So sometimes we use the word for a person who's cleaning my garden or who's who's probably pruning my trees and you're not attending to the things at home words that are derogatory. The word Fatah means young, skilled talented, you're Cardona who follows me an asset then yes, go to home in the context of the Prime Minister and the word fatten was used. So the word fitting is a very holistic expression of a very mature way. In a nutshell, we need to use good names, pleasant names, and that will inshallah enhance the relationship may Allah grant us the ability to adopt and imbibe these amazing qualities and maybe preserve our relationships with our spouses and our siblings till
the end of time.