Channel: Tim Humble
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen
wa Salatu was Salam ala Abdullah he was Sunni novena Mohammed Radha and he also he edge main llama alumna in sarona. Once I know be my alum, Tina was even a man.
Yo Bill alameen.
So in sha Allah to Allah,
this Friday night reflections,
is going to be a continuation
of the discussion that we had about our children's education.
But in this lecture in Sha, Allah hota Allah, we're going to focus on the aspect of
teaching our children, Islam.
How do we go about teaching our children, Islam? And what are the unique
things that you must bear in mind when it comes to teaching your children about Islam. And this is different from what we spoke about last time. Last time, we spoke about, generally, education in in schools and homeschooling and things like that. But this time I want to talk about regardless of where you school, your children
how do you teach Islam to your kids? What do you focus on, and we'll look at various areas of your child's education in Islam, like half half the Quran, like when you should introduce, study, what kind of study how you can teach them, someone coming to the home versus sending them to a madrasah versus all of these different things. Sharla going to try and cover the whole spectrum in sha Allah Allah.
we're going to begin with something very, very important.
And that is the principle of encouraging your children to love Islam, and to love learning Islam.
This is something that I personally find to be somewhat deficient in the way that many of us deal with our children.
Sometimes you have some parents who are negligent, they just don't teach their children, Islam, and they don't have any concern for their children to learn about Islam. I mean, their primary concern is their secular dunya education. And that's what they put the pressure on.
But you see some other
parents, who put so much pressure on their children, that they push their children away from Islam by putting enormous and unnecessary pressure upon their children, when it comes to learning Islam. You have to make people love Islam and want to study Islam.
For that reason,
we don't overburden with a number of classes that are taking place in a week, for example, even when it comes to adults, we don't overburden people by having, you know, like, for example, eight hours of classes on a Friday, and then you know, two hours every single night. Why do we not overburden people, I mean, the resources are there. But we don't overburden people because eventually you push people away.
So it is important that when you think about your children, and when you think about your children's Islamic education, that you think about making them love, Islam, and instilling love of Allah in their hearts, the love of our lives, the gel is a fundamental principle. It's a fundamental part of La ilaha illa Allah.
Allah subhanaw taala said, woman a nurse in a tuxedo Tokido min dawn Illa he and dad Boehner honker Bella, when Latina No, I shall do hug Bella
from the from man are those people who have
taken partners besides Allah, they love them as they should love Allah.
But those who believe love Allah more
is a fundamental proof for
instilling the love of Allah into the hearts of ourselves and our children.
And the love of Allah should be one of those fundamental
driving forces in our lives to motivate us.
Not only the love of Allah but also hope and fear,
hope and fear in terms of hoping and allows reward and fearing Allah's punishment.
And this is the secret behind the first three is of sorts of Fattah Al hamdu, lillahi Rabbil alameen are Rahmani Raheem, Maliki Yomi Deen. The first ayah instills the love of Allah. Allah who raised you open looked after you and nurtured your Eman. Rob will I mean?
The second Ayah
instills the hope of Allah in your heart, in His mercy in his forgiveness.
The third IRA instills the fear of Allah in your heart, that Allah is Maliki yo Medina, the fear of what will come on Yom Okayama. And the fear that Allah subhanho wa Taala will take you to account for what you do.
And a similar kind of principle you want to still instill in our children. Now, hope and fear take time to build they come with knowledge, they come with maturity. When children are very, very young, they might not fully understand especially when they're extremely young. They might not fully understand
what it means to hoping a laws reward or to fear a lot. But these are things that you're constantly working on building in them.
And above all, the love of allies origin that they love a lot that they love Islam that they love a man when a lot so it just said while I came to La Habra de la Come on man was a Ghana houfy akuto become wakawaka la cuckoo for our for our AC en una eco Rashi, Dune favela Mina, la he will love it when I came and spoke to her Joel asked Allah azza wa jal said, Allah made Eman beloved to you, he made you love a man. And he made it something beautiful in your heart.
And that's what we want to do with our children. We want to be a Sabbath a cause for the love of EA non to enter into their hearts. Now some of that is to do with reward
and punishment. So some of that is to do with rewarding them for Islamic achievements rather than dunya based achievements. Because when you do this, you're setting the standard that Islam is what matters. Yes, I'm worried about your education, I want you to do well. But what really matters to me is Islam. That's why your success in your Islamic Studies, I'm going to reward it many times more than I reward your success for example, in your secular studies.
And that's not a
constant principle you adopt, you know, big exams come up you might give some emphasis to those but generally, you show that what you really care about and you read what really matters to you is Islam.
And you make it easy. Didn't the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say yes siru wala to our co
Wabash Shiro wallet when a pharaoh comm or call us Allah Hollywood center, he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said make things easy for people and don't make them difficult
and give people glad tidings be positive make people feel happy and don't push people away
This is a fundamental principle when it comes to our children's Islamic education yes sir oh well I
don't make a slammed hard for them. To make them you know with the stick that you are you know, you beat Islam into them with a stick. Make them love Islam. Make them feel that Islam is the best part of their day.
Make them love Islam make it easy. Now I'm not saying have no discipline.
You have to have discipline.
You have to have discipline. There is a Heidi, which some of the lemma they said is Hassan. And in this hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said hang your whip where your family can see it. Because this will help to discipline them. It doesn't mean hit them with
to whip and hand the whip where your family can see it. And he there's an importance for discipline.
discipline has a role. But your basic principle is you want your children to love Islam and to love studying Islam and to love practicing Islam and to love Allah to love his messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam didn't the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say Elmo, Muhammad had a person will be with the one that he loves.
person will be with the one that he loves. You want your children to be with the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam make love the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam already. So this has to be your basic principle. And in terms of making things easy, there is another point that we want to illustrate, don't overburden them with too much knowledge at once. There is a very famous statement a very famous method,
which says, Whatever is taken in one goal will be lost in one goal, whatever is taken as a large Joomla tenure and whatever is taken as a large portion will be lost as a large portion.
Let them take their knowledge of Islam in bite sized pieces that they understand.
This is also really important. So we've established some basic principles, we said the first thing is we want them to love our law. We said make it easy for them, don't make it difficult for them, Be positive with them, don't be negative with them. We said yes, there is a need for discipline.
But that discipline should not be your first point of call. And it's efficient to show your family that that discipline is, is there.
And perhaps this is the meaning of the Hadeeth you know that you you know your family? No, look, there is the discipline is there.
But as much as I can, I'm going to make it easy, I'm going to make it happy, I'm going to make it positive.
And I'm going to be soft and gentle as much as I can
give them bite sized chunks, don't give them too much in one goal. Some parents and I know I know a lie, I know how it feels. You want your children to be a half IV in the quickest possible time that can be made. But at the same time, there is no good being one of these, you know, like wishy washy.
You know Allahumma Stein, I still suffer from this today.
You know, because what you try to get quickly, you end up spending your whole life chasing it. And it's never it's never really there. It's not fair, but it's not steadfast in your mind. Instead, it's just like a bit like, you know, it's kind of a bit wishy washy, and you know you have they memorized it, but then they don't remember it, they can't recall it, they make a lot of mistakes. Better that you give them slowly, and make it firm. And not only that, but you encourage them at every level of their age, at every age at every stage in their life, you encourage them that the virtue in knowledge is as we said this morning acting upon it.
So you want to encourage them to do that. You want to give them reward when they act upon Islam, even if it goes against what you told them.
And this is really a sign of a person's emotion, when they reward their child for practicing Islam, even when it goes against their advice or their command to the child.
For example, you said to them, Look,
you know, I don't want you to do such and such that relates to Islam, or you know, there's no need for you to do such and such. And then you see the child making an effort to practice Islam.
That's a good thing. Don't be angry with them.
That's a good thing to see them wanting to put Islam first, because they're going to inshallah, correct you and that's going to benefit you in this life and the next.
So you want to encourage your children to act as much as possible. And that means we need to integrate memorization and understanding.
However, understanding needs to be age appropriate or needs to be according to their ability at whatever age they are. Whereas memorization is more a case of
it's more a case of kind of stretching them over time, and every child has their ability when it comes to memorization. So I
Deal with memorization first, because it's easier to deal with memorization.
There is a beautiful book for those of you who speak Arabic. There is a beautiful book by chef Abdullah Yom savani was one of my teachers in Medina having a whole lot. She had no clue me wrote a book,
which is called Elif
Elif, I think. And it has a long title. I have total coho Raja Eva, who was something something like something along those lines. But if you type in Elif Abdullah, you say, hey, Bernie, for those who speak Arabic, this is a beautiful, beautiful book, he talks about how you memorize, and the chef is, an idea when it comes to is amazing when it comes to memorization. And he's one of those people that comes in and teaches without the book. And he tells you, when you make a mistake when you're reading from the text, he tells you when you make a mistake in the footnotes, not in the main text of the book. So that's not footnote number one, footnote number three. Okay, she has like a nice
But he tell talks about how hip works. And basically he says, There is only one way, there are lots of like, lots of variations. But there is only one main way to memorize, there isn't two or three or four there, there's just one way to memorize. And every good system of health is based upon this one single way in some way or another, you know, there's a lot of flavors, but the basic ingredients are the same.
You have two variables that you can change. The first is the amount that you memorize, and the second in one session. And the second is the amount of times that you repeat it. He said these are the only two variables that exist in his life aside from Mirage are revising. But the only two variables that exist in HIF are the amount that you memorize in one go and the number of times that you repeat it. So in the beginning, you memorize a very small amount, and you repeat it many, many, many, many, many times, you might repeat it 60 or 70 or 100 times. And it's only one idea or one line, only one idea or one line.
Later on as you develop your life, what happens is, you start to slowly reduce the number of times that you need to repeat and slowly increase the amount that you memorize in one session.
I mean, we know of people we know of halaqaat in Medina, where people are memorizing Sahil Buhari and Sahih Muslim in a month or two months,
I need the whole of Sahil Buhari, not the most or not the small one in the whole party and Muslim in a month or in two months.
You don't start off doing that on the first day, you start people off with very, very small amounts of HIF repeated A lot of times, don't be fooled by the by what we you know, we kind of talk talk about the initial imprint, you know, you can memorize the last five words that I said for about the next, you know, 30 seconds, one minute, two minutes, how long it's gone. Don't be fooled by the the first time it goes into your mind.
You need to focus on that permanent, sort of etching it into the person's memory. And that requires frequent repetition much more than you think, you know, any child on average in five times can memorize an ayah, but it will not stay 50 times in Charlotte will stay.
Then you need to have an overlap between your old hips and you're new. Otherwise, as you guys know, when you memorize the Quran, if you don't have an overlap between your new and your old, what will happen is you will not know what comes next at the end of the page, you can read to the end of the page. But then you don't know what page comes next because you have no connection. What you have to do is read some of what you memorized yesterday, today and then continue to your new eyes. So if you're doing one eye a day,
then you need to be reading 345 10 is from the previous days. And then the ayah that you're doing today. Five is and then the ayah that you're doing today, five is and then the ayah that you're doing today to build a link between
And you need to do a lot of Maharajah a lot of memorization. In terms of memorization in general, again, I've spoken about this before that a mistake a lot of people make is they get people to do a lot of Mirage from here.
And this is a mistake, in general, you want to do your Mirage from looking at the printed words.
And some people might say, this is not proper Maharaja, and I agree with you, but you should be, you need to give them a time where they read the surah from the words from the printed copy of the Quran, instead of constantly testing them on HIV. Because your HIV fails, you need visual kind of reinforcement to take place regularly. And there are lots of side tips don't change their most half, make them read from exactly the same most half every time. Because visually you identify where things are on the page. And, you know, you kind of identify the shape of the writing and stuff like that. So, you know, these are all sort of tips. And there are lots more to say. But in general with
the HIF start them small, and make them repeat it many, many, many times.
And as they grow older, some children just have gifts, you know, some children by Allah azza wa jal has given them just such a gift, you know, at three years old, they memorize anything that's put in front of them, some children take a bit longer, don't worry, everyone will get there in the end with this methodology, lots of repetition, very small amount of memorization. And slowly, very, very slowly increase, maybe after one week, and they're doing amazing and they haven't forgotten anything, get add, you know, another, like, cut down the repetition by five, if it's like 50, make it 45. And, you know, like, increase the number of is that the you know, to another three, four
words, or five words or something like that? Not much. So very, very slowly, if you do it too fast, you'll lose the benefit very slowly, until they can comfortably do a half a page, one page, two pages, and they're not forgetting it at all. And that will come in time because memory is kind of like a muscle, you know, like if you train it enough, it becomes much stronger and you become much better at memorizing things.
So this is the issue of memorization. And that applies whether they're memorizing Heidi's or whether they're memorizing the Quran.
That applies, give more emphasis to Mirage than you do to new memorization more emphasis to revision than you do to memorization because revision is always harder. So try to give more emphasis on revision.
On the other side, now we have understanding. Now the problem is with most children, not all children, because all children are different. But with most children, their memorization will be significantly better than their understanding. That means their capability to memorize will significantly outstrip their capability to understand.
That's okay. That's part of what is natural. And that's part of what scholars like even Jana Rahim, Allah and others said about the fact that, you know, we are different between children and adults, adults need to give much more emphasis to understanding and much less emphasis to fast memorization. Children need to give more emphasis to fast memorization normally, and a little bit less to understanding as is appropriate to their understanding and their age.
In the beginning, you want to start when it comes to understanding with the most important points first, the basics of tell hate, they don't have to study, maybe you like a book or something like that, but just that they basically understand that a lot is one, we only worship Allah, we don't prostrate to other than Allah, we don't make do it other than Allah, we don't seek help from other than Allah. Allah is our Creator, our sustainer some of the names of Allah that they can understand, you know, just a basic concept of knowing Allah, attaching their hearts to Allah, making them love Allah, that is more than enough in the beginning.
In terms of what I think is important to teach our children, there are a few things that I think are extremely important. Number one, I think the area and I've caught the DA and the vicar from things like fortress of the Muslim. This is so valuable, why this is so valuable in the life of our children. If there was one thing that I would teach my children after sort of 31 and the basic source of the and basically how to pray.
I would be teaching them to memorize the hadith of his no Muslim, or memorize the altcar and has no Muslim. Because at the end of the day, if you don't make dua, and you don't have these as car, then ultimately you're not going to get success from Allah azza wa jal, you need those adkar you need them in the morning and the evening you need them before you go to bed before you go to the bathroom, when you come out the bathroom, when you come out the house, you go in the house, you know, you have so many different etiquettes
I would recommend that you give this a portion of your children's time, a portion of their time to learning, do our area and as an even if your school is teaching the kids but still, you know you try yourself to go through like we said you take control you make sure you go through is no Muslim. And that the main as they are they're learning them according to their age and their ability. You know, when they're very little they learn Bismillah Alhamdulillah you know, small things Bismillah when we come in the house Come on before we come in, let's also Bismillah you know small words when they're very small. Then as they get older, they learn to say some more of the different to us and you say
for them as well. The reason you save for them is not to protect them. They don't you know, you don't need to protect them by saying them for them, but simply to teach them the etiquette of seeing them so read ikusi to your children before they go to sleep and before long they'll learn either course even when they only very small even before they learn any other chapter from the chapters of the Quran, they learn it closely because used to read it to them every single night before they go before they go to sleep, for example. So you know teaching them do, Vicar, I think it's extremely important, because everything they're going to do their life everything is going to depend upon the
help of Allah. And based upon the Hadith when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked that the you know the tenets of Islam, the requirements of Islam have become many.
Tell me one thing that I can do. What did the prophet SAW Selim, say, make your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah. So it's really important that you that you instill this in your children. And even if they go through a phase in their life where they stopped practicing properly, where they have a bit of distance from Allah, having those two are and those those those as called present within them, I think it's makes a big difference to bringing someone back to the truth. So I think it's super important to have these, these Vicar and these, these adkar and these idea, do and Vicar from the likes of his non Muslim basically as much as possible memorized according to the you know,
the age and you pick the most important ones first, and slowly, slowly, but tick them off, you know, give you a chance of highlighting his non Muslim is maybe three their homes, or something like that, or five their homes for a copy by one for each of your children. Get them to keep it with them, you know, like we do with the kids in the in the winter camp, you keep it with you all the time, even when they're small, you know, you keep it but not so small that they you know, they throw it on the floor or something, but you know, when they old enough to, to carry it, you take it with you, and you take off the ones that they know and the ones that they don't know, this is important.
Also, I think it's extremely important from a very young age that you start them with Arabic, Arabic is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your children is to teach them Arabic and you do not need to know Arabic yourself. Start them with vocabulary, don't start them with, you know TCR or natural or something like that, you know or like making the how easy and you know, starting with you know, it's fairly well file for OBE and not not when they're four years old or five years old. At least get them a little bit older. But start them with vocabulary, five words a day. Pick them from anywhere get them from a kids book, get them from 1000 Arabic words book get them from Medina,
Arabic books anywhere but get five words a day. Honestly, five words a day you start your children when they're five years old, whatever, four years old, five years old. By the time they're 10 years old, they'll have enough words for fluency. Yes, they'll need some grammar. But grammar is not difficult. They'll come to a class to be a bit older, they learn how to make sentences they mix with some kids who speak Arabic they learn in Sharla
but give them vocab Now, I know that some schools do Arabic And that's also a good a good option but definitely make sure that your children you have a plan to teach your children classical Arabic, not street Arabic, not slang, Arabic. That's fine to speak when you want to it's it's fun to speak but it's not going to help them to understand the Quran and the Sunnah. Classical, Standard Arabic and make a plan five words a day. 10 words a day. Make it fun.
You know, like, you know, we sometimes have a little reward chart, we stick it on the fridge and you know, like they they put like ticks on it or like a mark on it when they do they've done their five Arabic words they've done their one two are they've done their one I or two Ayat of the Quran, okay? I've done it now can you know like, you can you can get a candy get a sweet or something, you get a prize. So you know, like, you just make it fun for them. But I think do i and i think Arabic from a young age as young as you can get them learning their day, one word, two words, Arabic, you know you do with Arabic letters you even when when you listen, why is it the first thing we grab is abcdefg
get alphabeta you know, don't don't like I mean, it's okay, you can take ABC but like, you know, it's it's just our mentality when we don't speak when we're not native Arabic speakers, we have that habit that when our kids, you know, like get to like three years old or two, whatever, two years old, three years old, we're teaching them their basic alphabet, then we pull out ABC, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, but we're not, you know, pull out some alphabet as I get them to learn that first, then afterwards they learn ABC ABC is easy. So you know, slowly, you get them to like encourage them to love Arabic and to want to speak Arabic and to realize the benefit of speaking Arabic because also
once you learn classical Arabic, it's easy to make your classical Arabic like slang, it's easy to to learn the local slang and the dialect because it's just classical Arabic broken up and you know, without any proper grammar and stuff like that, so it's not difficult to learn. So they'll also feel more comfortable living in a in an Arabic speaking country, they'll feel more comfortable, they feel more at home to be able to speak the language. So it's a good thing for them in every way and it will help them in their dunya as as well as helping them in the deed. But the difference is that when they older and they can start to study Arabic books
you've given them a doorway to really become genuine students of knowledge and scholars and you know the future sort of scholars of Islam you need to give them Arabic need to make Arabic a major priority even if your kids now 1516 no problems start now. Why you know don't don't say Oh, I missed my time they're 16 now start now.
Start now give them five words a day. Everyone every child has stuff they want trust me I've never met a child that doesn't have a list of things that they want from their parents. You know like I want this I want this I want to go here I want you to give me this pay for this do this no problem. five words 10 words of Arabic every day. This many is this many hours this many Hadees no issues inshallah. But make it make it easy for don't burden them, don't make them hate it. Don't make them hate Islam.
So this is important to our Vicar. Arabic super important.
As they get older,
ideally, you want to try to introduce more understanding of what they are memorizing. One thing that I have, it's one of my real pet hates, and it's a real problem is that we get children who really graduate who are 515 1614, whatever. And they are, I mean they have we have some of them come to my class, they have his way better than mine. You know, like I asked them and if they don't miss the ayah ever and you barely ever, you know it's upon Allah very good.
But for some of those kids, the understanding is not there. Any for them, it's like hips of Chinese or you know, like, anything, it's just these are just words that I say and I feel some human because I know that from Allah, I feel some human but I don't, I don't really you know, I don't understand it. So you slowly introduce that, you know, for example, you could begin with the Tafseer of coal who Allah had
simple Tafseer you don't have to give them you know, Tafseer of poverty, you know, just give them you know, like, just give them a bite sized tafsir translation of the Quran I always say that the first steps here and the easiest steps here is just pick up a copy of the translation of the Quran. In English, a copy of the translation for example, my son Han is good for this. Maybe more sometimes a bit difficult to read fluently, but it's good for for this topic, pick it up and use it as a book of Tafseer
Khan who Allahu Ahad say Allah is one unique key. So allies one unique there's nothing like him. Simple just a bit of basic understanding. As they get older, increase it so you're trying to catch up now, so that the more that because gradually their memorization will slow down, particularly when they book when they reach puberty, they start committing sins, their memorization will slow down, or they start filling their mind with video games and TV and all these things which decrease your memorization. And it's true that is as far as I know that
medically, as much as my personal opinion that to the TV dumbs you down and makes you Your, your memory, your your vocabulary, everything goes down when you watch TV.
In any case, you know, providing you know that will happen as they get older, they get exposed to more things. And then memorization becomes a little bit weaker. This time you start to put turn the balance in favor of understanding and putting a lot of emphasis on understanding what they have memorized. So that they are not really behind. And I mean, even small children can understand the Tafseer of Jews are mostly, you might miss a couple of items that are a bit too Maybe a bit above them, you might miss a few concepts out and just simplify a few things. There's nothing wrong with simplifying things slowly up or building them up to to understand what they've memorized. And this
brings me on to another topic, which is things they should memorize aside from the Quran. Because we have another problem that we teach our children Koran, and nothing else before I forget on the topic of Quran, if your children have finished half of the Quran, or are going to finish, I strongly recommend that you start them on a second Pura
and presuming they've all done half's and acid, which is the normal, like Pura here and taught in the schools, I suggest that you start them on wash, and nerfed because first of all, we are in desperate need of people to understand that there are art because it's vastly becoming a dying science, where people only read the Quran in in very wild halves.
But also not just that, there's another point, which is that it will increase their desire to memorize the Quran once again. And I don't want you to I wouldn't advise you to teach them wash in terms of principles like all wash is different from half where half reads this wash reads this where half has to clean around here what wash has started here and not like that, you get them to memorize the Quran again, in wash.
Just like they memorize the in house, start from pull out of your openness and memorize the Quran again, in wash. And then again, if they finished wash again in one other para, when they finished three karate, they will be old enough for you to just give them the principles for the rest just get them to memorize shelf, they do whatever and they'll learn the principles, they learn the different, you know, seven pillar art and then you can add to the 10 and then so on no issues there. But at least two or three, get them to memorize them from scratch. like as if they were memorizing the Quran for the first time. This was the advice of one of my shoe, who is one of the shoe one of the
well known shoe in karate in real citations of the Quran. And this is what he told me to do. He said you need now you need to start worrying and you need to do it from the beginning as though you're memorizing the Quran again from scratch. And then he said maybe do Kowloon or do something that is well known like another karate that is well known. And you can find teachers it's not difficult, you can find plenty especially for what she can find plenty of teachers if you look around, because it's very common Algeria Morocco that the sort of North African Arabic speaking countries while she's the main resuscitation there you easily a lot of people from the teachers from Egypt know more than one
para also. So it's very easy for you to find then you know later on you can do other things with them but but my recommendation is if they finish their hips, make them do their hips again in watch. Not only is it just amazing and beautiful to be able to recite the Quran in different ways, but it will increase their him their desire and then motivation to memorize the Quran. Plus, your memorization has got to be spot on. Because if you start forgetting the ayah, and half's you'll never remember in, in worship and also it will, it will help the memorization to make it really solid.
That's on the Quran. Aside from the Quran, what do I think our children should be memorizing? I think it's very important that you get them memorizing the small Mattoon in Arabic, the small primer texts, the kinds of things that we're doing in the essentials class, but even smaller than that, you know, start them off with for example, I'll also have selasa the three fundamental principles. basic, simple, easy to memorize, slow, you know, like pick, pick a text, you know, basic texts, small texts, in in fundamental sciences of Islam, and get them to either memorize or to do as much as they can, you know, recently we got the kids to memorize al Qaeda how he Allah
Pachauri is a bit advanced I wouldn't have personally started with that it was another teacher who did it. I'm not sure I would have started with it but the kids did really well they memorize most of them memorized at least half of our credit for how we are by word for word without you know, like in Arabic despite the fact that they did not know the Arabic language. So slowly getting them started on Mouton. elmia. Before that, definitely give them the 40 hydrothermally mama no minimum, the 40 hadith of Imam and no he with the additions of even roger that makes 50 Heidi's at the moment No, we did how many 42? Even Roger added eight that makes
50 Heidi's these 50. Heidi, they memorize them from the text, there are readings on YouTube there that they can copy, there are plenty of printed copies of the 40 hydrothermally mama No Are we very easy to find very small text, but will lead they'll benefit so much from it a small text in text read
to fit out file to start with
just area after that, you know small basic basic texts, you know and a handler they do it in a lot of the modality they at least do
you know small things about just basic Tajweed of the Quran and stuff like that. But why do they memorize you know, talk further outside? You know, for us, when our kids I remember like when my daughter was memorizing it.
I remember you know, like for her, it, it doesn't benefit her so much because she doesn't understand. But once you've memorized the benefits, you know, and when you understand what it is, because it gives you a short way to remember principles, you know, like you can't remember or you want to teach something or you want to basically, you know, revise something, it just gives you a short and easy way to remember
principles about things like Ted read. And so it goes along with Arabic. You know, if you're getting them to do it without Arabic, it's not going to be of as much benefit, they can recite the appealable. However, they don't understand anything about what it means that's not so much benefit. But if you've got Arabic going alongside, even if it's not fluent, it's just a little bit of Arabic going alongside, slowly it will start to click with them. And you'll see them picking up Mouton, Mouton, elmia and benefiting from having memorized those,
you know those basic things like Salesforce or others and I've got I've got plenty of, you know, videos, articles, I've talked about those before, which which ones to memorize, and maybe I'll put a little shedule a little timetable type thing up of what I think are useful to memorize. So your mother your kids are memorizing to us. They're memorizing Hadith starting with the 40 hadith of aluminum and nawawi. When they memorize the 40 Hadith they go on to another book in Hadith, it's like separate subjects they've got to us, they've got Heidi's they've got Quran and they've got Mouton texts, basic small you know primers. So, in do i mean do I you can consider to be the start
of the primers you know, like so you start them off withdraw, then later on philosophy a little sooner than later on something else then something else then something else in Quran you start them with their pura hufton awesome, they finish their health, they go to wash and nerfed and then on and on and on onwards in that in rule with regard to their
hydration start with the 40 Heidi through me ma'am and no are we then I would recommend something related to the IDs of
the IDs of the halaal and the Harlan
cam maybe something like that.
If they're really gifted in memorization, Bulova muram
or something like that, you know, like it's a bit thick maybe to start with but as they get older definitely you know to have those kind of you know, to those kind of things memorized it will give them instant instant recall on all of the issues of what is halal what is haram what is the correct what is wrong you know, how do we pray how do we sit What do we read? What do we all have these issues that are Hajj everything will be there for them when they memorize the basic hadith of film that comes after the 40 hadith of any mama no and there's no harm in the memorizing some of that Heidi's have forgotten like real solid hate and things like that. But you know it's it's up to you
but just give them slowly piece by piece don't think Okay, in this next five years, I'm going to get them to memorize a quarter of a sector you know Buhari Muslim, you know inshallah, it will come it will come Don't Don't worry, it will come inshallah. And the reason the light Allah if you stick to them to this inshallah you'll be sending them to the Harlem in the summer at Harmon noble way to do to do
You know, this Bukhari and Muslim in 60 days or whatever they do no problems in Sharla. But slowly, slowly get them to understand get them you know, according to their age, if they're six years old memorizing the 40 Hadith, I don't think they're going to understand so many of those IDs.
I don't think they're going to memorize they understand so many but you know, as they get older, they get to 10 years old, they understand a few more, they get to 12 years old son a few more. So you go along with them like this. They're doing their Mouton do our basic motorland acleda in tafsir, in in Tajweed, and whatever. Likewise, they've got their basic texts, they're doing the Quran, they're doing their basic Hadith, and they're going on with memorization like this. inshallah, slowly, slowly I can't emphasize that enough. One Hadith a week is perfectly acceptable, if that's what they can do, when they can do two a week Alhamdulillah when they can do one a day at
hamdulillah to do five a deal. hamdullah but make sure they do them not the short term, you know, sheer, sheer history but in his book he mentions There are two types of hip, heaven cider webphone casual, true hip and fake his fake if any one of us can do you know, bring me something in Japanese and memorize it for five minutes. But don't ask me tomorrow. I won't know what it is. You know, like this is fake. Real hip, Heflin saw the true Hof is the hip that is rock solid it's there with you. And you know, you can get into memorize lots of things you know in poetry, get them to memorize Suliman will soon ella elmen or soul fitter, haidee rotavirus all by a half hour hack me in actually
this is appointment aqeedah. Very nice, very short, very easy to memorize lots of things they can do. But they're good. They're continuing like this only slowly.
Lots of revision, lots of you know, like, if the if you have more than one child who are working together, you have some friends who are doing it, get them to revise with each other, give them little competitions, where you give them prizes, you know, just because the Islamic centers do it doesn't mean you can't do it at home. You know, shall is going to be a prize for which one of you memorize, remembered everything that they memorize. Don't give him a prize on which one can memorize the most. Why? Because then you're going to get Heflin candidate, you're going to get false HIF don't give them a prize on who memorizes the most give them a prize on who has the best recall of
what they've already memorized. I who can read the Heidi theme memorize. So if you've got one son who's four years old, he's memorized to Heidi's, you've got one who's memorized 10 hotties, you've got one who's memorized 30 Heidi, give them a competition on who can recite their what they've memorized to Heidi's that they've memorized each without making any mistakes, for example, and you know, give them all the prize in the end, but you know, encouraging them each way.
This is also sort of important. There are some other things that I wanted to talk about. A lot of people ask about preparing their children to go on and to study Islam at a formal institution. Now, I'm not going to speak about specific institutions. I mostly know about Medina, but I'm not going to speak about specific places, but just going to give you some general guidelines.
If you follow my suggestion in Islamic Studies in sha Allah, and you finish those Moton, those children will be ideally placed for acceptance in any Islamic University in the world with one further condition, they have to do well in their dunya secular studies. Because almost all of these universities use your GCSEs as a benchmark for your levels or whatever, as a benchmark for acceptance. So yes, you can they can be half of the Quran in three clear art. And they can be you know, they can know all of this stuff, but ultimately, they still need to pass their, their GCSE with good grades. So bear that in mind, bear that in mind as well for in terms of application. My
advice is don't push your children to go to one of the Islamic universities, try to just encourage them just you know, say, look, whatever you want to do in your life, what I want you to do is be a practicing Muslim. I'm not really bothered if you go to a university like this. So you want to go and do engineering or you want to go and do anything, but I want you to be a practicing Muslim. If you want to study Islam, that's amazing. And I'm going to support you I'm not going to be one of those parents who says, study Islam. That's what we do with the kids in the village who couldn't get into engineering, you know, like, that's how, unfortunately how it is especially in the
subcontinent. The kids who fail in school, they go to mothers, you know, we're not going to be like that. We're going to be inshallah Yeah, we're going to move we're gonna help
With everything we can, but don't try to pigeonhole them too early like, you know, you're going here, you're going here you're going to sometimes what happens is you either build it up in them, and they feel so excited about it, and then they don't get in and they're like, Okay, what is my, my life doesn't have any meaning now, because I was going to Medina, now I'm not going to Medina and I don't know what to do. Or you make them hate it, you make them actually rebel against it and say, I don't want to go to this university. And I don't want to study Islam, you know, especially when they get into teenagers, they get a bit rebellious. So you want to just kind of
encourage them gently and say whatever you want to do, but my condition is only you are practicing Muslim, you don't do something Haram, you don't do a study or a subject is going to lead you to Haram. You don't go do something that's going to make you fall into the Haram later on, or get a haram job. You know, keep it halal. And I'll support you no matter what you do, but will law if you go through this methodology, inshallah, you're going to see that your children end up very, very knowledgeable in sha Allah, at least as good as a graduate from any Islamic University. Because ultimately, what do we do in the Islamic universities? We do the same texts. And the same, you know,
like the same explanations and what have you. Yes, of course, we do it to a little bit of a higher level. But ultimately, it's these basic texts and principles that are gonna make someone a good day, a good hottie, a good Imam.
And we don't want to wait and say, Look, you know, one, you know, this child is like, he's an engineer, but he doesn't pray, and this one's this one, but I've got one child who's an imam of the masjid. Now, all of your children should be able to be Imam of the masjid. At any time, the Imam doesn't come he's sick, any one of your kids should be able to lead the Salah, because all of them you've taught them for and you've taught them, Heidi's you've taught them filk, you've taught them the basics of Islam. So ultimately, even if they are doctors and engineers, they still ultimately are able to step in and give Dawa, they're able to benefit themselves and others. And whenever they
feel the desire to take a break from their career and maybe go study Islam, that's going to be there for them there for them as well. As we said, In the beginning, you're constantly focused upon encouraging action, not the amount of memorization or the amount that they know, but how much they act upon, and you constantly remind them. And also, I also believe it's very important to learn with your children, because none of us are exempt from learning Islam. Some of you may have came to
tide White's class that he did recently. And one of the things that the chef mentioned, is the story of that old lady who was you know, very, very advanced in age, and she had, she had become, I think, a widow, and then she had taken upon herself to memorize the Quran, and she finished the Quran, none of you are that old. We none of you are 80 years old, or 90 years old. And he said, I don't think we have anyone here who was that old. So ultimately, you all have the ability to learn with your kids. And to study with them, all of these texts and these things, and you know, you know, you might be more on, on understanding, and they might be a little bit heavier on memorization, because you guys
are, you know, like, you're a bit older and you're, you want to understand things more, and they're a bit younger, and they just, you know, they have a capacity to memorize. So that might be the case, but you'll meet in the middle and you'll benefit one another inshallah Tada, and, you know, my kids are always correcting my memorization all the time, as well, like in poetry and in things, they memorize whatever. And it loads of times, as I say, No, it's not like that. It's like this. So if you know your kids, let them do what they're doing, but control that as well.
Share with them, you know, practice with them.
In terms of schools,
you've got to find a happy balance. You can't have your kids just you know, like, every day, just you know, most of us can't have our kids every day just memorizing Quran and Hadith and there has to be a balance, there has to be some playtime. There has to be some school time. There has to be some Islam time. And the most important thing is finding that balance where I see a lot of parents going wrong is I see. I mean, I think the schools here put Far, far too much work upon the kids. You know, maybe I'm living in the past or maybe I just, you know, got an easy schooling in the UK. I don't know. But for me, the schools, these kids, I forget weightlifting. They go with bags and bags of
books every day.
And you just think, well, I only I can't I cannot believe that that is the best and most efficient way to teach your child. I don't believe that at all. But you know, that's what they do. I don't I think they're far too overburdened. Don't add to that burden. And then see right, you come home and the first thing you've got to do is
Memorize 50 pages of this and this and this and then you got to do this and you go, give them time to play, give them time to be kids, don't rob your kids of their childhood walleye any we need young I, your childhood is something you remember fondly. I don't because I wasn't a Muslim, but that's an exception. But generally, you know, your childhood is something you remember fondly don't take it away from, don't take it away from your kids, you know, let them have some time to play, let them have some time to memorize, be serious when you need to be serious. And be you know, be be gentle and happy and fun as much as you can be. Because that will encourage them to want to learn want to
memorize, of course, your school is going to have your kids school, if you're if you're if you're sending them to school, they are going to have Islamic Studies.
how good their Islamic Studies is going to be is depends on the school and depends on the teacher. But generally you got you can try and integrate the two, make sure you keep control, you're making sure you know what they're learning, and you're taking it off and you're trying to work with it. But at the same time, if their school is teaching them Arabic hamdulillah that's, you know, that's one thing that you can kind of semi cross off the list as long as they're doing okay, and they're making progress. They're learning the words and stuff like that. So you kind of work with the schools as much as you can to try and make it as efficient as possible for your kids to learn.
I think those are the most or many of the the the points that I wanted to deal with one more point I wanted to deal with is the issue of people who bring people home, just to teach their kids, no issues that as long as you know the arcade of the person you're bringing home, because
my personal experience is it doesn't matter if somebody's teaching you,
you know, mathematics, or they're teaching you the names of a lot, they are key that will come up, their belief will come up. You know, if they're an atheist, and they're teaching you about mathematics, their atheism will come out in that teaching that that's my experience. I'm not saying every time but my experience is like this. And if they're Christian, and they're firmly You know, they're like they serious Christians, they will impart their belief in Christianity upon those kids, even if they're teaching them biology, they'll impart that belief. Be careful who you bring to teach your kids. And especially, you know, like,
try to bring the best person you can. Now I don't want to be unfair to the teachers who are from the subcontinent. Some of them have excellent, excellent citation. But a lot of them don't have excellent citation. So bring the best you can if you're in an Arabic speaking country, and you can bring a native Arabic speaker, to teach your kids maybe Arabic and to teach them on the fact that they don't, you don't speak the same languages, then it doesn't really matter. You know, like, at the end of the day, if it's the best you can bring for your kids, it's the best. Now there are some teachers from from elsewhere who have an excellent standard. I've had teachers from places like
Pakistan, from India, from other places who have an amazing, amazing standard of citation and an amazing standard of Arabic. But I'll be honest, and say it's not the norm. The norm is bad pronunciation. And, you know, like a limited knowledge of Arabic, but the parents feel comfortable because they can converse with them in their own language. I don't think that's the best idea. Try and bring the best person you can. And make sure that is to the best of your knowledge, their belief is, is okay, even if they're just teaching them or an you want them to be an example for the kids, the kids look up to not you know that one time after class they say, you know, what about this
issue, another issue and then that gives them some crazy fatwa that takes them on another track.
It's important that you bear that in mind.
So inshallah, when you do bring people to the house, the other thing when you bring people to the house, don't be frightened to set the work. You know, sometimes you're you know, you're a bit like kind of frightened to tell them what you want them to do. If you're bringing them and paying them to do a job, you're well within your rights to tell them what you want them to do. I mean, okay, don't tread on their toes too much. But you know, if you want them to do more Moraga and less HIF tell them
and if they don't do it, bring somebody else.
That's my, my philosophy with this. Because ultimately, I have a problem at the moment that my daughter she goes to just a regular Masjid, for for health. The amount of heft they're giving her each day is way too much for her. She's forgetting it. She's not keeping it in. She's not enjoying it. She's not mad. I mean, the teachers got her doing like, a lot. I can't remember how much she's doing maybe like half a page or three quarters of a page or something like that a day. That's way too much for for her age and her ability and memorization.
If it was someone coming to the house, I would be tempted to say to them, I've already said to the teacher in the message, but I mean, like if it was someone coming to the house, I'd be more than happy to say to them, Look
I want three Ayah today no more. And I want emphasis on Raja revision. That's it. And if they don't do it say no problem, inshallah we shall I don't know, no harm done, we shall I will part with and bring somebody different. Because ultimately you have to everyone has their own idea of how to do things, but you have to be in control of, of things, and you have to see it's benefiting your children, not just bringing somebody for the sake of,
you know, for the sake of it, and it's not benefiting them. I think those are most of the main points that I wanted to deal with with regard to teaching your children,
And I think we've covered a lot of the a lot of the issues that people have, once again, I'll open up q&a for the for the brothers in front of me, I don't normally do it and Friday night reflections, but I think this topic might have people might have some questions about it. And maybe you can bring up some areas that I haven't thought about speaking about analyzer journals best. So if anyone has any questions, you're welcome to Ask inshallah.
Okay, go for it.
Not once, at once. So it doesn't have to be 50. I mean, it could be 20. But when I say I mean, I say repetitions, I mean repetitions. At one time, when you're memorizing the idea that you don't consider yourself to move on to the next idea, until you have like Reddit, at least, you know, say, for example, 20 times or 25 times, and you've got a test, you might set 20 or 25. And you might find, sometimes they're missing it, you know, they're not, they're not getting the memorization every time, don't be frightened to increase it to 30 4050 no issues in Sharla until it gets written into that long term storage. And yeah, they have to go back to it at other times during the day. But
giving people a number helps them to have a process, you know, when you give me Have you ever tried to give children Quran to memorize and say just go away and memorize it and come back? Usually they read it twice or three times, vaguely memorize it come back and they're like, yeah, I've done it, you know, like, and then you send them back again, and they get frustrated, you get frustrated, it's not nice. So telling them don't come back to you read it 25 times, it helps them to kind of have Okay, I have to read it 25 times bigger on the fingers, you know, like, they're like marking your piece of paper, okay, I read the ayah 25 times, you know, it gives it makes it easier for them to
set their expectations instead of them coming back and you sending them back and then coming back and you sending them back again, so on and so forth. So that would be my recommendation.
Okay, I don't think there is a best age to start memorizing, I think you have to look at your child, every child individually as the vague, you know, sort of like something just to give you a ballpark I think that you can start trying with them
from about five years old. Now some children can do it younger I know my neighbor i have i've so many times tried to find ask her dad how old she is, but they don't seem to entirely know or not like they can change like the age but she's around three years old. And she has memorized like crazy amount of the Quran. But that is something that is not common in every in every child and she's a native Arabic speaker as well which probably probably helps. But you know, generally I think five years old if they haven't started before that if they haven't shown any aptitude before that five years old is what my teacher said to me in the masjid nabawi he said we don't teach the kids before
five but he said you can let them listen to the plan before five. I've got all my kids but two of my kids have got a little iPod just the one with out it doesn't have anything just the play button on it. And they have their juice that they are memorizing on the iPod with a good quality not with you know the latest famous party who received recites with a long you know beautiful voice you know, the likes of Muhammad Ali and heard a fee Ibrahim Allah, you know, the people who are known for the quality of their pronunciation, not just because their voice is nice. I mean everybody likes listening to people like me, sorry, and everybody likes listening to today's and you know, so on and
so forth. But they're not good to learn. They're not good to learn
from because they read very beautifully but it's not like I mean, it's not for the children to focus on the letters and focus on getting the Maharaja correct and stuff like that. It's better that you let them listen to whichever of them they like from you know, the well known study or any of the ones that they like who are the well known sort of reciters into
Attach read in the maharjan herf
the way they pronounce the letters,
how long I am totally against setting any kind of expectation for length, simply because it makes you in that mentality of let them get it finished, let them get it finished. Instead of that we want quality. Remember what I said this morning for those of you who attended about the Sahaba, there's the harbor when they memorize sorbitol Baqarah, they used to consider this person to be from the Elena to be from the scholars, because they gave it that much attention that much understanding that much concentration. So I'd rather have quality than quantity, I'd rather one kid comes to me and says I've memorized Joe's ama, but I've memorized it backwards and forwards. I know I don't make
mistakes, I can read it comfortably in my Salah, then someone come to me and say to me, I memorize half the Quran. And I asked him and it's just all over the place. You know, one is here, one is dead slowly, even, you know, I would like it. As again, you know, I don't want I want to answer your question again. I would like it if you start them at five years old, approximately, that by the time they reach puberty, which be 13 1415 that they would have finished the heft of the Quran and be you know, with dubbed with precision. And there is their report there is poetry that you can memorize for improving your hips of the Quran. There There are there is a particular poem I have it on here.
I forgotten the name of the poem at the moment. But it's a poem that basically tells you the common mistakes that people make in the Quran and how to avoid them like how do I know is it
for example called debayan lachenal ayat or Cosby Anna Elia. And is it Leah called me You mean only call me occasionally call me. You can own for example, like these would like to shadow me too shabby hated the sort of areas where people get confused in the Quran. The poem basically is that memorize to clear up those areas. So if your child has don't have the Quran, and you feel they're a bit confused about those issues, you could easily give them this poem, which the name is just escaped me at the moment, you could give them this poem to memorize and it will help to fix their mistakes that they make in terms of not remembering whether it's Hakeem and Eileen or something different.
But yeah, I would say I would like children by the age of puberty, I think that's a good age to have finished memorizing the Quran. And each according to their ability, if your child is able to memorize it by eight years old, brilliant, you know, don't stop them, don't hold them back. But don't feel that you have a timetable. You know, we're all sat as adults, most of us here have not memorized the plan completely. Most of us that's an educated guess most of us have not memorized the Quran completely.
And we are how old you know, what's the average age of the people sitting here 3540
you know, 3025 so if your children finish the Quran, by the time they're 20 they're doing better than almost everybody here. You also don't don't put a timetable on them that you know, is just make sure that it's consistent, the most beloved deeds to Allah
at one Moha will include any the the most
consistent and the most regular, even if they are very, very, very small, even if it's only a tiny little beat, but just doing it continuously. And I keep telling people, the Quran, the Arabic must have is around about 600 pages.
Each page has around about 15 lines on it. Okay, so I just you know, doing the mass quickly, that makes 9000 I think
that's not that many lines you know, if you divide that by if you just say 300 days in a year because they have holidays, and you know, whatever, you know, you're looking at, you're not looking at a long time if you do one line a day of the Quran, it 2020 years, whatever, 25 years, 30 years, whatever you finish the whole plant doing one line a day, and that's not even full time that's doing one line a day and having holidays as well and bricks, you know, suppiler like like, don't worry about them doing lots but just worry about them being strong in the memorization firm, remembering it slow progress acting on what they know, or law here is our children acted upon Cole who Allahu
Ahad, you can almost guarantee for them that they will not be from the people of the Hellfire
if they just acted upon coal who Allah had in its full meaning, and it's full understanding
online and this is enough for a person to enter gender. Because this is the essence of Islam, worshipping Allah azza wa jal along
declaring a lot to be free of all of those false things that the people the polytheists say about him.
This is, this is enough for a person, if they implemented this, and they understood it, and they act upon it. This is enough for them. Remember, Chef, he said, with regard to source will answer, if Allah did not send down any other solar than this, it would have been enough for the people.
spotlight if they just memorize those two sources, it would be enough for them. So don't you know, just concentrate on acting upon it, encouraging good behavior. Sharla don't put a timetable there. But me personally, I would like my kids to start by about five years old. If I mean, my son, how old is my littlest one?
He's coming to five. But he's not. He's not like really, he's memorized some very small parts. But he's not like he's not showing a real love for memorization yet, so I'm not pushing it in too much. So it's okay, if you leave it till six or seven depends on that. One more thing that I did have in my mind. And this is what I was, I knew there was something I was trying to think of. And that is issue of when to teach them things like praying and stuff like that. You need to teach them prior to their time of need. So if the time of need for a child to pray is seven years history, because that's the age at which the prophets lie, Selim said, command them to pray at seven years hijiri you
can't teach him to pray, you have to teach them at least at six. Because by seven years history, they need to start praying. So if they don't know by then you can't teach them when they're seven or eight of the teacher monastics.
If a girl is going to start wearing hijab,
and she has to wear hijab from, let's say, 10 years old, as an example, you can't start teaching her about the hijab when she's 10 years old. And you know, this is non Muslim and this is you know, this and you can't do this and you can't do this to teach her when she's eight years old, when she's seven years old, you know, and so on. You have to preempt what your children need Don't be behind the curve, you know, you have to be ahead of the ahead of the curve you have to be ahead of the circumstances that you are giving them what they need and plenty of time if at five years old, they can understand how to pray that's good, revise it with them at six then by the time they're seven
years old, they can pray properly, they've memorized their childhood and they do ours and so on. And then inshallah you can you know, you can continue from there inshallah.
Okay. Very, very good question the brother asked, Does aka long highlight the brother he asked. You know, I know it doesn't matter whether it's TV or YouTube or whatever. We know parents leaving tablets with their kids all day. Do does these things that the kids watch the cartoons that they watch? Do they affect the memorization? Not only do they affect the memorization, but the reality is they affect the man. And you only have to look at and I'm just going to give you one example.
Go to Wikipedia,
and read the plot summary of as many Disney movies as you can. Just the plot summary don't watch the movie. Don't watch the trailer. Don't do anything like that. Just the ones for little kids. Read the plot summary on Wikipedia. You will see Xena, you will see see her see her everywhere magic, a bother to shape on worshipping the jinn, you will see you name it and that's just in the plot summary. Forget about what the actual cartoon contains in terms of music in terms of whatever you see gratuitous violence. You will see so many so many forms of Haram. We don't recognize it. Because the gratuitous violence is a mouse and a cat you know but like you've got like horrible horrible
messages being sent that you never can get away You will always be you know, chased that so many subliminal messages and this is not I'm not a conspiracy theorist. Yeah, I'm not into conspiracy theories at all. But honestly, honestly, just flick through the plot summary on Wikipedia of any Disney cartoon film, whatever that is made for small children. And look at the amount of cigarettes he had in every one of them. Magic in every single one of them. A bother to shape on worshiping the shape on music roll
Months outside of marriage, Xena, you name it, it's all of it is there.
And you think the children don't get affected by this a lie, this is a big thing, even small children young, it just creates a kind of a, you know, an acceptance and a kind of a kind of tolerance to the harm.
And so it affects them in their environment and and your Eman when it is affected by that in the long run. It affects your memorization, it affects what you learn. But the question is, what is the alternative? And what life's not easy? You know, I wish I could give you an easy answer and say, you know what it is just flick your tablet onto this, and this will solve your problems. Reality is there isn't an easy answer, there are lots of small changes you need to make. Number one, try to price them off of the tablet, TV, whatever it is that they're watching on, get them to do sports, get them to go outside, get them to run around, get them to sit down as a family have food together,
play together, you know, like, buy them toys that they can physically, you know, play with that are halaal get them involved in crafts, anything other than getting them glued to the TV. That's a big part of it. Because ultimately, there's only so much good stuff you can watch on YouTube. And YouTube has one devilish devilish thing on it, which is that every time you watch something good, within like three clicks, something bad comes up. You know, like, and it's very hard to block that. Yes, on private websites, there are some ways but it's not easy to block the universe suggested videos coming up. For most parents, it's, it's quite hard.
So this would be a recommendation, first of all, try to price them off gently. Secondly, when they are watching, get them to watch stuff that is, you know, genuinely Okay, I wish I could tell you the Islamic cartoons were better.
They are better misperton any, but then they're not like halaal better, they're just less harm.
But ultimately, you know, you've got to find some content on there that they like watching. It could be a lecture, they might not like that. It could be, you know, re citation of the Quran, it could be just, you know, ultimately, you got to try and find some even it could be a game, even if it's a game, there are some games that I don't mind my kids playing, and I don't want to open the topic of like, video games. But there are some things I don't mind them playing on the tablet, and it's better for them than watching cartoons and things. But there's a limit to the games as well, too much of that some of the games have some horrible things in but there are some games that are okay.
You know, like, the problem is the addictive nature. So if you can get them away from the addictive nature, that's okay. And then ultimately, what can you do except to try your best and fear alized? As much as you can. I wish I had an easy answer for it. I don't, unfortunately, there are good cons, there is good content on YouTube. There are good things that kids would like. But ultimately, for kids who are used to multimillion dollar productions of videos and cartoons and you know, design or whatever, the good stuff, it just doesn't have the same appeal. So you got to try and wean them off it slowly. And you have to also try not to use the tablet as a babysitter.
Try to mix with your kids play with your kids. Like I said, Get them outside, get them in sports, get them enjoying themselves, get them into cooking, get them into crafts, anything other than these tablets, and then maybe if they are going to play on the tablets, maybe some halaal games that are you know, relatively Okay, that might be a better alternative than, you know, glued in front of the TV watching something. And likewise, if you can put some beneficial Islamic lecture in or watch it Alhamdulillah if you'll watch it, that's great. You know, I'm not asking too many questions. I'll catch you guys on the way out. Let's take from the brother HL sounds
very hard. The brother asked the question, What do you What's your advice in dealing with resistance when they're, they're not compliant. They're not they're not doing what you tell them to do.
You can't be too harsh.
At the same time, you can't let serious things go.
I think the first thing you got to have is you got to have a priority list. That means you don't treat sherek the same way as you treat, you know, watching a cartoon or something like that you've got to you've got to have a list of a set of priorities and a set of sort of sins in terms of severity. You know, something serious has to be dealt with very seriously. something less serious can be you know, dealt with a little bit more gently, is really important. You explain to your children why and I think far too many people
I want to explain to the children why they want them not to do something, you're banned from the TV give what's my sin? What did I do what's wrong by saying them down and saying, look, you know, we've all been watching a bit too much TV, you know, like, or tablet or whatever, you know, and myself included, and you know, we need to change and Let's all make an effort to do something and you know, you were saying that day that you really want to go out x, y, Zed, you know, horse riding, whatever, fishing this, whatever it is, you know, come on, let's go out as a family, and let's just take some time out of this TV. And you know, it's not Hello, this music you hear and stuff like that. And, you
know, we want to get all of us off it and, you know, you try to explain to them instead of, like ramming it down their throats. And ultimately, you be you're soft before your harsh softness comes before harshness, harshness only comes when softness doesn't work. And harshness according to the level of what they've done. You know, like screaming and shouting and throwing and hitting and whatever, for a minor thing, it's, it's not gonna, it's not going to change it, it's not going to help, you know, save the big reactions for the big things. And the minor reactions for the minor things. And you can stop them doing something they like doing, take the tablet off them, you know,
and so on. And I've warned you guys before about the tablets, and you don't leave your kids alone with tablets, doesn't matter what their ages, there's so much so much evil that comes on these things will lie and even when your kids are searching for homework for school, and they type in you know, like anything like, you know, this, they searching for some atom in chemistry, you know, like, what is the composition of iron or steel or something, question mark, enter.
The fourth picture will be something how long.
So be careful, don't leave your kids with
the tablet on their own, make the tablet viewing and whatever in a place where it's communal, where everyone can see what other people are doing. Because we'll lie any before long, you're going to see something on that it's going to really, really hurt you. And it's not nice, you know, and I've dealt with that situation with families before. And it's not nice when you see a young kid Good, good, good young boy, you know, nothing wrong with him. Nice young lad. But the problem is that, you know, he's got into a habit of watching things on the laptop that he shouldn't be. And he got into that habit because he was given the tablet and he was given a free rein to do what he wanted. And a
picture came up and just out of curiosity clicked on the picture and then another one and then another one and then it became a habit and then afterwards it becomes a deliberate thing instead of an accidental thing. And then it becomes much worse. I said I wouldn't tell him but you know, go on for the last one shall we go for it?
Okay, should we take our kids to the mall because of what the malls contain in terms of you know, nudity and stuff like that.
I think that and I'm not sure if I'm writing this my principle in this and and I'm kind of reluctant to I'm not sure that I'm right but my principle in this is try to time it at such a time where these things are minimalized you know that minimize to the to the to the maximum amount possible
it's difficult to never take them anywhere. And you know, sadly in a lot of places in in Dubai it's these things are present but there are certain things should never take them to like never take them to an area where the non Muslim is dressed inappropriately like on a Friday night or Thursday night or whatever where they're like you know wearing really inappropriate clothing and you see some serious you know, you see some serious harm you know, don't take them to those places don't take them to a waterpark where there are you know, like girls wearing you know inappropriate clothing and whatever you know these kind of basic you know things but apart from that you can try to time things
you know you can there are there are there are ways that you can time things I mean for example there are there are some water parks that I know of like a little bit further away where they like if you go between Zohan Azar there is nobody there at all. You know, there are some malls you even know even places like Dubai more. There are there are times you can go and it's relatively I say relatively Okay, you know, like, it's not exactly the ideal environment, but it's, you know, it's relatively okay. And sometimes you need some stuff or you want to get something particular.
I think ultimately it's more about avoiding the times when there is likely to be an issue. And when an issue comes up deal with it, you know, like don't like you know, like say, look, you need to look away when these people come because ultimately they are going to see it. I mean, you drive down Sheikh Zayed Road alone, he knows what you see, you know, sometimes
Not you're driving in your car. So ultimately, I think
it's about choosing the times wisely and doing your best you know what your kids tolerances. If you know your kids, you know are going to really really find it hard never ever to go you know if they can manage never ever to go Al Hamdulillah it's a blessing you know, if they don't want to go, then you don't need to go you know, you just need to make sure just make two other online shopping improves, you know, that's it. Apart from that,
if they need to go sometimes just try and be sensible about the times. And I mean, Kelly has arranged various trips to various places before for kids, which have been places that at the wrong time could be pretty bad, but they've usually done pretty okay sometimes we don't get it right sometimes I go to a place and thinking that that's off the list. I'm not going there again. But usually it's we they try to time at times or they try to make an agreement that we're going to come early in the morning when nobody's there and yeah, the posters are there and stuff, but I mean, you you do your best inshallah. So I think it's a matter of just trying to do your best and fear Allah
as much as you can. And I'm not sure if I'm writing that answer. That's the way that I tried to do it. Myself and Eliza Jen knows best so we're gonna wrap it up there guys in sha Allah botica lo fi comm
which has come a long way on Allahu Allah wa salatu salam Ana Vina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajmeri