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Men Women Islamic Relationships
Channel: The Deen Show
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Episode Transcript ©
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nothing but um, the guys the beginning Bismillah Salaam they call peace beyond to you. Welcome to the deen show. Guess what we got back at the D show. I told you he'd be back in August and September 1. And we'd like to welcome back with us again. I'm very happy to introduce my brother Shane. McCarthy, I
Okay, so now that you know who he is, and that you see that he has the credentials, because we don't have a car mechanic here that we're asking these questions. We have a good brother who's taking the time and dedicated his life to study this beautiful way of life, that every Muslim should be living.
Yes, Riccardi, I get many people emailing me now asking me questions. And I, I always, I encourage people to send their emails. So when I have an opportunity to sit down with someone like you, that we can ask these questions. So in this session, we're going to do a q&a. Is that okay? Where I'm going to ask you what you guys, my audience and the viewers who tuned in to the show. Feel free anytime to send your questions in that you want me to ask my guests like we're doing today. Okay, so this individual, and these individuals a sense of questions, and this one we're going to be talking with.
The first question relates to men and women. Okay, boys and girls. All right, this is a hot topic. So first question we're gonna ask is what kind of relationship can the opposite sex have with each other? Okay.
Mohammed hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah. He was the idea he was talking about
the the issue of gender relations and and the status of each gender in Islam. It is one of the most important issues of Islam. And that is because of the simple fact that Allah subhana wa either created mankind and he divided them into male and female, as Allah says in the Quran, that yeah you oneness, all mankind, in the heart of monogamy is accurate in what we have created you and basically made you male and female. So the only biological division that Allah subhana wa tada is inherently placed in us is the division of male and female, Allah, Allah does not differentiate amongst us based upon our skin color, based upon the language we speak based upon how tall or short or broad or
thin we are, all of these things are something that Allah doesn't base does not, you know, differentiate between us. But there is a difference in men versus women. A lot created men different than he created women. Now, having said that, there's a difference we have to ask yourself, what is that difference? Does that mean that Allah gave men more blessings than he gave women? Does that mean that just because a man is a man who is going to enter Paradise and a woman is a woman, her chances of entering paradise are diminished? No, this is where Islam has a very different perspective. Islam says spiritually speaking, islamically speaking, men and women are the same. In
the sense that Allah subhana wa tada will not reward a man just because he's a man, or reward a woman because she's the one or punish one because she's a woman. Nope. Spiritually speaking, each gender has the same chance of redeeming themselves and entering gender. Spiritually speaking, if I do a good deed, and a woman does a good deed, the rewards of those good deeds will be exactly the same barring other factors. So gender does not play a role in status in the sight of Allah. Allah says in the Quran, the most pious amongst you are those who have the most taqwa taqwa means the fear and the love of God. Allah doesn't say if you're male or female, it's irrelevant. So the reason why
I previewed my comments with this is to make us understand, spiritually speaking, men and women are indeed equivalent. However, men and women are biologically or mentally are physiologically or emotionally different. Therefore, Allah subhanho wa Taala gave laws and duties and roles to each gender that were specific to them. And this is important to realize because people say how come Islam discriminates against women? No, Islam doesn't discriminate against women spiritually. But Islam does have different rulings for men and different rulings for women. And so you can say Islam different
feminists against men just as discriminates against women, the man is responsible for earning the money, not the woman. This is discrimination. If you're like, I have to earn for my wife, my wife doesn't have to earn for me, I have to take care of the kids, my wife doesn't have to do that islamically in the sense of, you know, providing for them and feeding them and sustenance and nourishment. Similarly, women have a different role. Each role is complimentary. It's not meant to clash. It's not meant to, you know, to fight over each role. No, each role helps and complements the other role. And we need both roles in society in order to go further. So with that, truly, now we
get to the question of gender relations, gender relations is a very important issue. Because there is a natural and an unnatural aspect to gender relations. A natural aspect is that every single human being requires a person of the opposite gender, to be full. A man requires a woman and a woman requires a man, if one of the two is missing, if one of the components of this dual pair is missing, then the other component would feel deficient. And that is what Allah says, In the Quran, that of his miracles is that he has created from amongst you, spouses, it's a miracle from a lot of signs that he's created a spouse for most you why Allah says so that you can find peace in her, you can
find serenity in her, and you can live together in peace and harmony. This is a verse in the Quran, meaning if you don't have a spouse, you're not complete. That's a natural part of being human is to have a woman whom you love when you're cherish, and that woman loves you back and cares for you and nourishes you, you need that care. And this is of the miracles of a law that He created man and woman wanting and desiring one another. So there's a natural element to that desire. And there's an unnatural element as well, that unnatural element is that a man and a woman have this relationship outside the bounds of marriage, and they do things that will disrupt the fabric of society. So our
religious laws called the *tier, it aims for enhancing the natural interaction and for diminishing the unnatural interactions, okay, and that is of the goals of the shutdown. Therefore, gender interactions are very central role in our shady our legal law. Our religion wants us to get married. It's a commandment from the prophets of Allah, that he told us that all young men amongst you, if you're able to then get married, do so. And he said, marriage is a part of my tradition, the tradition of Islam. Whoever leaves that tradition has left my traditional believes marriage has abandoned my tradition. So we're encouraged to get married. Why? Because it helps us be human
beings. It makes us express our love, our desires, our feelings, our sexuality in a natural and permissible way. This is what the shediac encourages. What it discourages is to have these bonds outside the fold of marriage with this goal in mind. Basically, the Shetty asks men and women to take care of themselves with the proper modesty and decorum to dressed in a certain way and to act in a certain way. Men have their requirements and women have theirs. Therefore, the shady eye requires men to dress in a certain code, loose clothing, the the the private parts covered, make sure that they don't you know speak with women in an inappropriate manner. And the women are also
required to dress in a specific manner that is appropriate for them. Likewise, in terms of interaction, there is no harm in speaking with the opposite gender at all, even if you're related or unrelated, as long as there's a reason to number one and number two is done with the proper etiquette. In other words, you know, speaking in a vulgar manner, speaking in a flirtatious or coquettish manner, these are things that I will show you prohibits when it's done outside the for the bonds of marriage. Why? Because there's no good to be gained out of it. You're only asking for trouble when you open this door upon yourself. So when it comes to marriage, as we said, it's
fostered and when it comes to outside of marriage, it is diminished. The question arises, how does one go about finding a spouse? How does one find that person that they want to spend the rest of their lives with? Here there are some basic guidelines of the basic guidelines is we are completely allowed to speak with those who were interested in, to become a partner to to marry, we're allowed to meet them to visit them, we're allowed to ask questions and to do what we can in terms of finding out about the other partner, but the one thing that we're not allowed to do is to take that relationship to a level where our religion would you know be prohibited. So of the things that have
been prohibited in our religion is to obviously the greatest provision will be actual intimacy, you know, there was the actual actual of sexual relationship This is completely forbidden, except within the bonds of marriage. Another issue that the prophets listener forbade was to be alone with a person of the opposite gender, who is outside of the the close relations like your sister, your mother, your your your daughter, to be alone with them where people can't see you. Because when you're alone with them again, you're only
asking for trouble. You shouldn't be alone with them. If you meet it should be in the presence of other people. Because when you're in the presence of other people, there will be a certain sense of authority.