Family Planning In Islam
Channel: The Deen Show
File Size: 24.83MB
Welcome to another episode of the deen show, which is a way of life we try to put out there for everyone to see, tackling the more serious questions about life. And you know what we try to give the best advice. So we try to have people who are knowledgeable in this way of life, Islam, which means submission and surrender to the Creator of the heavens in the earth, associating no partners with him, putting him in charge of your life. And we have people that know the verbatim Word of God better than myself, which is the Quran and the Sunnah, the authentic tradition of the last and final messenger to mankind of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. Now we have an issue with
a lot of the youth nowadays, caught up in the pop culture caught up in the dunya. So we want to bring on somebody to talk about what is the best way of raising a child
in this society. And
I have my special brother, friend.
Thank you for being with us today. It's my pleasure, thank you for having so we'd like to get straight to the to the topic, usually. Thank you, again for being with us. And we want to address the parents, we want to address the people who are thinking about having children, the youth, we're losing them today, MTV reality shows, talk to us give us some advice. It's not really well, we're losing them, it's
a lot of them don't want to be found. A lot of them are out of touch with what it means to be Muslim. And being Muslim is more of something that parents are that they have given to them by heritage, and not really in spirit, not really in faith. And faith is a really important concept in Islam, he man, a lot actually speaks to people of faith by saying, Yeah, are you living M and M No. Are you who believe believe.
And that's an important concept that we have to always invite to faith in Allah, especially those who have faith in Allah, to remind them of the necessities. So that's why I mean, that's what I mean, when I say that, they don't really want to be found, they don't know the value of what they have. Because it wasn't a conscious choice on their part for many,
especially those who, who we find strain quicker than others.
But there's still a lot of goodness in the oma or the nation or the people who are a faith. So we need to come up with strategies that are multifaceted, that are not just home based, not just school based, not just measured based, or mosque based, but to bring them all together as a campaign to bring our youth back to the way of Allah. Give us some practical tips. For the parents who've been away from Islam, they're coming back. So you spent 15 years letting the school system to dunya, educate your kids, eight hours in front of a television set. Now you come back to the dean, but you lost your kid, three things, do the right thing yourself. Nothing is greater in the sight of a young
man or young woman than to see someone doing something
in practice in front of them. So you have to walk the walk, if you're going to talk the talk, you have to do what you say.
And that's very much in tune with the words of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him very much in tune with the words of a law where he says to you, yeah, you are living a man who are you who possess faith, why do you say a thing that you which you do not do? Surely it is a grievous thing in the sight of Allah, that you say that which you do not do.
So that's the first thing second, it's to try to link them with positive role models. And the most important role model is peers, to try to integrate your children with people
have a like attitude, but who are excelling them in spiritual development. So people have a common interest in basketball, for example, but one is praying and one isn't. The two have something in common that can lead to that thing that is missing.
And the third thing is
prayer. pray to Allah to bring correction into your home into your life. A law tells us in sort of Nyssa
let those who fear that their progeny their children will stray from the path that they are upon, let them initially have the fear of a law that talks about a law failure tako law, let them be mindful of the dictates of a law so again, can you can you expect to have some household it's everything is functioning smoothly, but you know what, you're not praying but you realize that this is something that your Creator a law the almighty wants you to do, but you want your kids to pray, but you're not praying, how's that work? Now?
It happens, see a lot in the Quran has given us an example of every type of family structure. Yeah. If you want to see, you know, the example of a pious father and neglectful son, you look at the example of Noah, if you want to see the example of a pious husband neglectful wife, look at Noah look at Luke a lot. If you want to see the example of a good woman and, you know, degenerate, neglectful father, look at assay of the wife of Pharaoh, if you want to see the example of an orphan raised in an adoptive family, and not taking on the customs of the people, but coming towards a law. Look at Moses and Pharaoh. So every type of example has been given to us in the Quran. And you can
see examples from the life of some of
the great companions of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon them, who left behind their families, their homes, their people, their mother, their children, for the way you have a lot. It's not uncommon that a child will lead the parents to righteousness.
It is very difficult for a father to expect that his son or daughter without the intervention of a law without the buttock of Allah without the intent, and the wish that a law has for a young man or a young woman to be upon the righteous path, it is impractical for us to think that that will happen spontaneously, there has to be some effort. So for a father who doesn't pray to expect his children to go to the mosque, and pray on their own, it's possible, but not probable. And there has to be a change and a rectification within oneself. And to renew one's own faith and to look critically at oneself. Because it matters, what we say matters, what we do matters, not just to us, but also in
the Baraka or the blessing that is put amongst those who we live amongst, we want to talk about practical situations
that are happening in today's homes. You got your kid now,
prom times coming up, everybody's going to prom Dad, I want to go or the daughter wants to go, what do you do in a situation like this? You shouldn't let it get that far we know but it's gotten there. What do you do?
There's battles you have to win. And there's battles you can lose. Some battles are lost consciously by you. And that is the only way that your child will know their limits. If you have brought your child up in a way where they feel that they have control over their life, which is the sign of a successful parent, that you have, let your child have the self confidence, and self determination their life to make choices for themselves. When in fact, you're actually influencing these choices, you're pulling the strings as the puppet master.
But if you find yourself in a situation where you've let it go, you no longer have that positive parental input. Your child is at a position in her life or his life where Listen, I'm going to go like it or not, if you don't like it, I'm going to leave home, you find yourself in a predicament. And that predicament is not a religious solution. It is a social and cultural solution that has a religious basis that has religious influences, spiritual influences that we can integrate. But the same type of scenario will happen cross cultures, cross faiths, where you will find people in in difficult situations their son comes home drunk or comes home a heroin addict or wants to take on,
you know, a type of relationship that they don't approve. All of those are things that have a cultural significance within the home, the religious input, the Islamic input that we put in it, if Allah Subhana Allah has blamed has placed Baraka in the heart of our child, and they have been brought up to know the respect of the family to know what is intended by the families disapproval is actually a sign of love and affection, and that there is a positive input in the child's life.
It can bring a positive solution, but at times you find yourself in a position where you've allowed your daughter, your son to go to one dance, two dances, three dances, four dances, and then you come
To the final, larger one, you can't have lost all those battles and expect to win that the cumulation the war. So it comes to that point in your life where you have to begin early, have faith in the law, plant the right seeds in the hearts of your children, make sure that they are nurtured, loved, supported, that they feel that your command of know is in their self interest, that
you are empathetic to them, you know what they are going through and give positive alternatives.
One of the things, you know, with one of the families that I'm
familiar with, they had a very much identical problem. The son wanted to go to the prom, he said, I'm not going to take a date, I'm not taking any one, I'm just going to go with some of my friends. And to assuage that, what they actually did was planned a family holiday that started a week before and ended three, four days after the problem and took for that child to say, oh, should I go to Egypt and do scuba diving and run around in the Red Sea and visit my family and my ancestry? Or should I be in that situation where as I know, I'm not going to go just for that one day. And sometimes you have to be more clever than your child. So it's not always a religious solution. There
has to be some insight and some technique and love in the decisions you make. So you taken away something that they feel you got to replace it with something else. And that's why a lot always tells you in the Koran whenever he talks about forbidding evil. Prior to that, he says enjoining, good. Honorable maruf is always superseding, ordering what is good, bringing people to write just conduct, showing them something that is good, or at least permissible, is always put forward to telling people stay away from something, because you need to replace what is a social ill with a positive action. Do you think that a lot of these
these things that happen in the house that you have disobedient children? Do you think that now you have to do a direct gnosis of yourself that you're disobeying a law and now you're going to have your children disobeying you because you're not listening to what your Creator is telling you to do. And now you got disobedient kids. Is that up now? The life of Islam is a compounding effect. Sometimes, you know, people they will they'll ask silly questions. It's not really a silly question. But someone will come and say, brother, yeah. Are you really trying to tell me that it really matters to a law? Whether I eat with my right hand or my left? Do you really think it really matters
to a law? If I say Bismillah, before I eat, doesn't really, really matter if I go to the bathroom, and I enter the bathroom with my left foot and come out with my right foot? These little things that you do in as nuances in your day? Do they really matter? And the answer is yes. Because the prophets I send them was a doctor of the hearts a doctor of the Spirit, one who
blew life into our existence, into our spiritual existence. So the little things that you take in your life is actually little antidotes. Things that you do as a reflective part of your faith in the law, that is from the tradition of the Prophet actually inoculates you, and protects you from the things we're talking about. It is inconceivable to think of a family where they are almost obsessive about following the concept of the Prophet size and following the tradition of the prophets I send them where before they eat, they make the door where when they finish, they make the dough, where upon cleaning, they make the door or entering bed, they make the door when they wake up, they make
up on going to the market, they make their draw after their student. They make their draw after the follow they make the draw. it's inconceivable that such a family that is built on that structure, following it with the intention and sincerity of protecting themselves will be attacked from the Shaitan and the word che Thawne. And the word the devil in the influence of the devil is rampant in our homes. People have this concept you know when you say the devil influences you it's almost like the exorcist you know, the head spinning around and the tongue hanging out and but that's not how it is. for us as Muslims. The Devil's influence upon us, is stated in the words of Allah, in describing
what the shaitan will say. A lot tells us in salt Ebrahim, that on the final day, the shaitan will lecture those who obeyed Him and He shall say to them as Allah quotes to us what he will say.
He shall say, indeed out of them all I did was invite you all I did was come amongst you. And fester. Jeff, to me. You will
bade me You did these little things or larger things that brought you closer to my side than the side of righteousness falletta domani. Don't blame me, why do more infosec and put the blame squarely on yourself, man, there'll be more significant more mental maturity, I cannot avail you, and you cannot avail me on this day. So in our homes, you will find that when the income that the Father earns is not blessed, when what they purchase is not always helpful, when they don't worry about what type of meat they eat. When, in the home, the television is on as a reflex to just sitting in the living room. First thing you do you sit down in the living room switch on the TV,
even though there's nothing you're really watching, but it's just in the background. When music is heard more than the haoran I'm not talking about his music halala ha, when music overwhelms the haoran in your home, when your home is messy, when your bathrooms or kitchens are not put in order, the prophet SAW Selim would say don't go to sleep, with food uncovered, even if you put just a stick over it. You know, just these little concepts that are very much a tradition of Islam have a spiritual value. And that spiritual value protects the home protects its inhabitants. The Prophet tells us when you come in your home and you say Bismillah, Allahu Akbar, the shaitan cries out and
says I have no place to stay. When you come to eat, and you say Bismillah, the shaitan cries out, I have no food. So that is very much in tune with the difficulties that our families encounter, that they are attacked from within, because of a letdown of they're following the tradition of the Prophet. They're not adhering to the spiritual compounding effect of Islam. We you know, we can sit and we can make prayer. And you know, you might be ill or I might be sick and you say, you know, I have a little cough, as you might have heard. And you say, oh, Allah, Grant Yahya, good health Grant yahoshua. Now that's acceptable.
But if you had gotten up and made will, and pray to recall,
and in your sujood, you know, the compounding effect will do prayer in your frustration, and then you make the draw, it has a more likelihood of being accepted by Allah subhanaw taala. So what we say matters, our spiritual connection with a law matters. And our attitude with a loss of $100 matters. Okay, give us real quick and we're going to be coming to a close soon. So sit tight, we're almost done. And this is something where is able to benefit you benefit your family and implementing these things. Instead of looking at a lot of these things as frivolous, these little details are very important. So we thank you again for helping us out. Tell us for the person who is using as a
reflex just flicking a remote, eight hours a day TV's plan and, and and the music's overwhelming the Quran. Give us a routine that a person can start with today. Give us a routine that they can be on, opposite the routine that they are they are on.
Simply begin by thanking Allah for waking up. And if you don't know the die of the Prophet, learn it. If until you learn it. Just be thankful. I've woken up. Begin your day with prayer. Begin with your day with thanks to Allah. And the prayer before the sunrise is the fudge is a bare minimum essence of a Muslim. And it's one of the more neglected prayers, but making that conscious effort to schedule within your time to actually schedule that I will wake up at 4:45am before the sun rises and I will pray to Allah when the vast majority of people I live amongst are still asleep is a powerful motivating factor to carry on with the spiritual existence.
Go back to sleep,
rest, get up go to work, have a function in the society we live in.
Give back more than you have taken. And that is always the way of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the upper hand the hand that gives is better in the sight of Allah than the hand that receives be a positive member of the society you live in. Be good to your your neighbors. Be generous to your family, many of us we neglect our family in our kindness of spending on them. When actually you buy your wife a gift. It's actually charity. It's your wife, but it's charity in the sight of Allah to the point that the Prophet says smiling in the face of your brother, your Sisters of Charity.
Be thankful to Allah make sure your five daily prayers are prayed. Make sure that each and every day that you have read
a section from the Quran. That is a constant habit of the people of Islam, to have a will a section a selection of
time that they give out to read from the Koran. Make sure that you busy
yourself with learning something new that you don't know. And a part of the discovery of Islam is in learning new things, hearing from different people, attending different classes and different seminars and being engaged with the community you live amongst. Be generous to those who you know and those who you don't be thankful to Allah subhanho wa Taala in each and every part of your day through your prayers,
and your day with your family. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would Oh, it was a family man. He was a home. He was a homeboy. Yeah, he wanted to chill out at home. That's how he was he didn't want to chill out in the mosque. He wanted to sit with his family to sit with his people, and to teach them Islam through his interaction with him. And unless you develop a sincere love, of being at home and comfortable in silence in just plain conversation with your family, and training yourself on it, not just filling up the noise and filling up the voids of silence with something that's distracting unless you actually train yourself to do that. You will not be truly successful.
And always conclude your day with thanking Allah subhanho wa Taala for having given you another day. Now from some of the great invocations that are made
the prophets I send them the most often spoken prayer that he would make was Allahumma attina for dunya Hassan Hassan Okinawa but now, Allah give us something good in this worldly life something good in the air Farah protects us from the fire at the time of fellowship and at the time of metadata always make the.the.of the profit a lot of money man as a local agenda or law we asked you paradise or my father Robert EULA and the actions that bring us nearer to it. When I was becoming a noun, we seek protection from you from the fire, when that call about you later and what will bring us to it. And the last and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would speak and do before he
would sleep was to recite from the Quran Surah Al Fatiha hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen R Rahman r Rahim till the end seven times, blow in your hand
and pass it over your body and to read your tongue quotacy Allahu La Ilaha Illa What are you and to read the last three chapters of the whole on all Hola, hola, Hola. Hola, hola, verbenas, three times each. And in that you have a protection for yourself and your family. The Prophet would always encourage the people to keep that constant habit. And that would be his habit, whether he was traveling, or whether at home, whether it was visiting people or whether it was in the comfort of his own family. Those are the main elements to having a clean, simple accepted life by a law come to law, you have spoken the truth. We don't need Dr. Phil, we don't need Oprah telling us how to run
our families. We have the Quran and the Sunnah. And you explained it very eloquently. For the non Muslims. Now we're going to come to a close, but two minutes, we always like to invite them to Islam, they got to see a few of our other shows. And they like what we have to say, invite them to Islam, what is the message of Islam, the simple invitation is come to something that is similar to what you know in your heart, the prophets I send them peace and blessings be upon him and all of the prophets that came before him, whether it's Adam, Noah, Moses, Jesus, all of those that are in the Scriptures, in the scriptures that have come before the Quran, and that which is similar to it, you
will find that there is more that is similar than there is that is different. And come to read and study about all the faiths. I'm not telling you just to come and look at the books of Islam. But come and read about each and everything and let your heart and your mind with pure intention, asking for the true sincere way, a clean way of life, see where it leads you read specifically from the Quran. The chapters that you find that are shorter, come to the things that remind you of the existence that you have begin from the back and Move, move, move to the front of the Quran, and it's an easier way of becoming accustomed to it. I would recommend also for you to read chapters 17 1819
the chapters about faith, they're they're important chapters, longer chapters, they contain some of the stories of the prophets. And there'll be something that you will find a lot of similarity and similitude with
and make friends. Make friends with people who might be a little bit different from you. They might be from Pakistan or Egypt. They might be from Mauritania or Africa. But make friends with people who are a little bit different than what you have in your church or synagogue. Or you know, just at the local park. Get to know people based on who they are and don't have any prejudice and judgment on them before you actually get to know them. And you will find that nine out of 10 people will let you know from your experience with them that they want nothing more than what you have.
That we that which you are also aspiring to, to live a life of peace, to have security, to have a good job, to not cheat anyone and not be cheated by anyone, and to raise a family with honesty, and, and happiness. And these are the things that we build our society upon. So I invite you to do that. And the way you have Islam, it's not a way that's confusing. It's simple. You believe in one God, and that you believe he sent messengers to lead us to him. We just believe that the final one who came to us was a man who spoke Arabic, lived 1400 some odd years ago, but whose message is still very much relevant today, to the point that one out of every five people on earth, believe what he
believes, says what he and follows what he has taught. So it's a simple connection that we asked you to make. Connect with those who may be different to you. With open heart, open eyes, read, discover, and we pray for your success and our success in this life and in the Hereafter. Amen. Jesus, Oklahoma. Thank you very much for being with us on the deen show. Thank you, brother. And I'd like to thank all of you who said tight through this. I hope you got to benefit remember every week we got a new show if you missed us on the TV, the local station in Chicago you see all of our shows at the deen show calm. That's th e d n show calm. Until next time Assalamu alaikum peace be unto you