How Do I Stop Myself From Getting Overly Angry At My Children
Channel: Faith IQ
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Shaykh Yahya Ibrahim answers
How do I stop myself from getting overly angry at my children?
any parent will know there's moments of frustration and anger, there's moments where you've just feel that you have to explode. And sometimes, you know, I'm not saying it's our fault entirely, our children are very difficult to deal with. And it's always been that way. But it is important to kind of look at yourself from the outside. So that's one of the first things that I'll say to you, you know, if you were that young, six year old, seven year old standing in front of you, they're looking up at you, and you're like, this big ogre of a giant, you know, bent over them, and yelling at them and screaming at them. That's what they see. And that's how they see their father or their mother
feeling their viewpoint. And just in that state of anger, so put yourself in the eyes of your child. And, you know, for myself, that has been very empowering. The second thing is, be very careful what you say. And it's not just what you say, but even more importantly, how you say it. So your child will pick up on your physical cues because young children, they learn to observe our movements much more than they understand our sounds and the words that we make. So your visual cues become very, very important. How your face looks, and you know, Subhanallah if someone takes a video of you at that moment, would you be proud for it to be broadcast at your workplace or at your, you know, at
your school or at your mosque, how you looked and how you're the angry that you had in your face. So be careful of how you represent yourself in that sense. Number three, is choose your battles correctly, sometimes you just might want to hold your anger inside you. And you know, channel it in a different way in a different time and address it in a different circumstance. I ns about the Allahu anhu he says that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and he was one of the young children who used to serve the prophets I send them. He says that there was never a moment that I angered the prophets, I send them where he spoke harshly at me raised his voice at me, no hand was more soft
than he is. And no more words were kinder than his sallallahu wasallam. And if I stepped out of line or did anything wrong, he would just encourage me to go do what he had asked me to do initially. So keep your relationships positive. I do recommend as well. Just Finally, that you take moments to break your relationship with them. If you find that something's getting hostile if you're getting you know, take a drive, go to the magic pray for you know, go to the masjid pray, meditate, come back, and then deal with the issue. At that point. Never ever in a moment of heat, tried to solve the problem than in there and see if there are any anger management techniques that you can pick up.
Many seminars on anger management are usually free of charge run by government and state governments and provincial governments all around and families