Positive Communication

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Tariq Appleby

Channel: Tariq Appleby

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Not having very low so that was around why not also de la vida de la

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vida como la he will bought this historic Apple before marriage QA. Today inshallah Hokkaido, we start a new series of reminders for Ramadan. And today we want to talk about positive communication in the month of Ramadan between husband and wife.

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It's important that as a couple, you set goals for the month of Ramadan, and you discuss them and you discuss exactly how you are going to implement them. One of these goals might be that together as a family, you want to spend your support and your effort together, you want to be able to read a certain amount of the Quran you set that goal for yourselves, you communicate about you know, accepting invitations, you communicate about the way that you will, that you will go about your shopping and your cooking exactly what you will prepare, you talk about going to do good deeds together inshallah Tada, like visiting your relatives and going and feeding the poor and the needy

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and the orphans. So positive communication is extremely important in our marriage communication, where we encourage one another will be taught not to expose one another's faults, but rather to guide and to as Muslims, that we give advice to each other as a couple striving for the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So in the month of Ramadan, people start the month with lots of expectations and ambitions and goals. And to truly achieve that these goals need to be goals that can be achieved, that can be achieved, that are easy to achieve. And insha, Allah, Allah, if you work together, you should be able to achieve them. And so my advice is that as a couple you sit

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down, you write down exactly what you would love to do in the month of Ramadan. And that if both of you agree upon that, and you know exactly how you're going to go above that, then inshallah Allahu taala, it will be easy for you to achieve that. And you'll be able to, you'll be able to fulfill that and to feel as if you have accomplished something on the day of aid, you because the two of you together know exactly, but if a husband has a certain idea of what you would like to achieve in the month of Ramadan, and his wife has a totally different idea, then it becomes difficult, and it's sort of, I would not say that it streams the relationship but rather, that it makes it extremely

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difficult for the husband and the wife to you know, achieve the goals because they don't, they're not they're not working together. So this is why it is extremely important that you communicate to each other exactly how you feel, what you want to achieve the goals that you've set for yourself. And once you have that as a couple inshallah with data, you can then

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choose exactly what it is that you want to achieve. One example that I'd like to share with you is that many men intend to perform actigraph in the month of Ramadan, but they only tell the wives a few days or perhaps a day before they are because what this does is it the wife perhaps at a certain, you know, plan for the last 10 days of Ramadan. And now that the husband has told her that he wants to perform takeoff in the last 10 days, this now you know causes you know a certain breakdown in communication, it causes a breakdown in the relationship. And you know, people now have to compromise sometimes arguments ensued because of issues like this. And so we can avoid all of

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these things by openly communicating and you know, and making sure that that our spouses know and one of the things that couples forget is that they are intimate with one another they share the secrets they share, you know they intimate desires and goals. And so it is important that you know when it comes to pleasing Allah subhana wa tada which is the ultimate goal that couples know exactly what it is that they want to do, and so that they can do them together and support one another and encourage one another and say Subhan Allah, you said that you want to finish one quarter of the Quran in Ramadan, you know, how far or how close are you to achieving that, and what can I do as

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your husband was your wife to help you achieve that goal, you wanted to go to the metric football every night, have you achieved that goal, you know, what can I do as your spouse to make sure that you achieve that, so that not only will you you know, appreciate my support, but rather I would also be able to

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I will also be able to be rewarded because you I have facilitated for you your path you know to ibid and your path to achieving your goals. So positive communication is extremely important. We find that many spouses, they put each other down and they talk they talk down to one another and they criticize one another unnecessarily and they say Subhana Allah You're so lazy or you are this or you are that you have no motivation. And instead of you know bringing about the kind of the kind of outcome that you that you would love that you will love your spouse to start doing what you you know what you feel they should be doing. Rather they start resenting you. They start feeling you know,

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having ill will towards you and Ill feeling and so it is extremely important that we avoid that too.

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because firstly it is not from from the hillock and the character of a Muslim, that they criticize people in this way. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was always encouraging, always motivating. And so therefore we need to be like that, especially in our marriage, and we need to be open about how we feel, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, he knew that I showed the love and he was displeased with him the way that you spoke to him she was, even though he was the Prophet of Allah, but she, she understood that he also was her husband, and so that she could communicate to him how she felt, even if she would say things like, you know, the load of Mohammed,

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you know, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would know that, you know, that perhaps something, it was that there was an issue that needed to be needed to be addressed. And so positive communication is extremely important in a marriage. And once you have that, then you can build on that and inshallah tada you'll be able to achieve your goals together, you'll be able to achieve in the month of Ramadan especially, you will be able to turn and move towards Allah subhanho wa Taala as a couple successfully, may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us all that in sha Allah Allah. I look forward to seeing you again in the next reminder, desert Camilla Farah, Allah subhanho wa Taala

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bless each and every one of you and making except from you all of your good deeds in the month of Ramadan. I sit down why they come to LA he or Baraka to