Taleem al Quran 2012 – P05 064D Tafsir Al-Nisa 129-134

walang testator, YuRu, Allah addresses the men that you will never be able, you will never have the ability to do what and 30 lubaina Nyssa, that you will be just between the women. This isn't the case of a man who has multiple wives. It's possible for him to be very fair at the beginning. But then eventually a time comes when he is more inclined towards one. She cooks better, she looks better. She's nicer in her treatment of him. She's more respectful. Right? Or her children. She doesn't have children yet. She has all the time to dedicate to him. Okay? So it's very much possible that a man will be unfair between his wife so Allah says, well understood to you, and 30 lubaina

Nyssa you will never be able to be equal in feeling between wives. And notice this is feeling not in other things. It doesn't mean that he gives money to one and the other. He doesn't give money to. He spends time with one and the other. He doesn't spend any time with her. No, he has to treat them fairly. But obviously the matter of the heart, he doesn't have control over it. Okay, so you don't have the capacity to do that? Well, no huddlestone Even if you greedily desire, even if you yearn even if you try your best to be equal in your feelings towards your wives. So what's the solution? Then? Follow your heart.

Yeah, that the man loves one wife, so you should spend more time with her. And he doesn't like the other one that much so you just ignore her? Yeah. Is that the solution? No. What's the solution filata Neelu colon main do not incline complete inclination to male or female Mimi Allah. Meaning do not completely inclined to one do not completely bend on one side. Because if you bend on one side, what's going to happen? The other is going to suffer further the Ruha. So then you will leave her the other one kalamalka hanging?

Think about it, you have a scale. Okay. And if a person bends onto one side, like puts more weight on one side, the other one is just gonna be hanging in the air. More I look behind them puff. What is this more I love that the wife feels like neither she's married nor she's unmarried. She doesn't feel like a wife. nor is she single to marry somebody else. You just hanging between marriage and divorce. Okay, she's just hanging suspended culmore Aloka. Now the thing is that, typically, when we find something difficult to do, what do we tell ourselves? I can't do it. So we excuse ourselves, it's too hard for me to forgive them. I can forgive them. It's too hard for me to control myself

from backbiting. So I'm just going to go back by it's still hard for me to rid myself of this jealousy. So I am going to entertain these feelings. It's too hard, too hard. And we excuse ourselves. Is that the right way? No. What do we learn over here? Just because your heart is not in it? Doesn't mean you're excused from it. You still have to try doesn't mean that just because you're not that much inclined towards one wife. You ignore her completely? No, you cannot ignore her. You still have to give her her rights for anatomy, local mail, do not inclined completely towards one so that you leave the other hanging, suspended neither married nor divorced. So what's the solution?

What should be done? Well into slow who do is law? Meaning fix problems as they arise? Does it happen in marriage, new problems come up all the time. So what's the solution? Fix them, keep fixing them or endlessly who mistake happens, fix it, you end up wronging one apologize to her, you end up depriving one of the right make up for it some other way. And this is something very important between a husband and a wife. You know about your duties, but you're a human being you will fall short. So what's the solution? Then? Make up for it. Make up for it through something else. It's like you weren't able to be home on time. And as a result, dinner wasn't ready on time when your

husband is upset that I'm hungry. I'm tired. I need food and there's no food here. And your class. I don't know how long it's gonna go for. So he's upset about it. So what are you going to do? Make up for it through some other way next day make dessert as well. Okay, those who don't use LA, what a taco and fear Allah for in Allah can have a foldover Hema, then indeed Allah is Ever forgiving and merciful. So who is Allah forgiving and merciful towards those who try those who attempt to make things better? Not those who say I can't do it. May Allah forgive me? I can't do it. It's too hard. I hope Allah will be merciful towards me. Know Allah is forgiving.

merciful towards those who try. Because the thing is that if a man is unfair between his wives and this is a major sin. We learn in a hadith that whoever has two wives and inclines to one of them too much. And as a result, the other is deprived, then you will come on the day of resurrection with one of his sides dragging

one of his sides dragging, why dragging, because it's paralyzed,

dragging, this is how you will come on the Day of Judgment. So a person cannot be unfair with his wives.

So it's not possible to be 100% Fair, what is he required to do? Try to maintain justice, I shall deliver on her she said, the messenger of allah sallallahu Sallam used to treat his wives equally. He used to treat his wives equally, to the best that he could. And he would say, Oh Allah, this is my division in what I am able to. So do not blame me for what you own. And I do not own meaning you have control over and I don't have control over, I try my best to divide my time to divide the money equally. However, the heart is something I don't have control over.

And isn't that so? The hardest, something we don't have control over. So he would seek Allah's forgiveness for that.

When he had the phone, Morocco, and if they to separate the husband and wife, there was an issues on the part of the husband, the woman tried to compromise, or the news got worse, the relationship wasn't working out. They tried to do so. They tried to reconcile they tried to compromise one thing after the other. They tried for a year for two years. It just didn't work out. Does it happen?

Does it happen? Yeah.

It does happen. So then at the end, you had the phone call, they end up getting divorced. If they're separate. Then Allah says, you'll need Allah Who, then Allah will enrich learning, he will make Rich, who can learn each one of them, the man and the woman, mean Society of his abundance?

Meaning, once divorce has happened, then move on. Don't say what if and if only move on.

And don't think that your life is over. Just because that man is not in your life anymore, doesn't mean your life is over. Or just because that woman is not in his life anymore. His life is over No. Move on. And ask Allah for his bounty. Allah will enrich you from the person you were previously associated with. Because even when you were married to him, who was your provider, Allah who was and now that you're not married to him, again, who is your provider? Allah is Who gave you that man in the first place Allah did. And if Allah took that man away from you, who will give you another one, Allah will. So you won't allow coolamon sorority because after divorce, especially if people have

tried to come to a solution, many, many times they've tried compromise. They've tried settlement, but it didn't work out. And then divorce happened. People have regrets.

People have regrets. I wish I hadn't done this. I wish we didn't do it. But the one who has tried to do is law, they will not have regrets. Believe me, they will not have regrets. Because I have seen many people go through divorce. I've seen people who've been very hasty, who have not come to any compromise, no Islam, no settlement nothing. Such people always have regrets and they should have regrets.

And then on the other hand, there are people who took their time, who tried different things, who discussed and to counsel and to guidance and took advice and tried different options. But still when it did not work out as a last resort, they divorced Saul, do they have regrets? Inshallah they don't?

And Allah who will enrich them with his bounty? What can Allah who is here and Hakima and Allah is where Sir, he is ever encompassing. What does it mean? His bounties are unlimited. His bounties are unlimited. Why should a woman ever think what if I don't get married again? She should never think like this. If she's divorced, never she should think like this. Why? Because Khadija will be lower and how Wasn't she in her? 40s when she got married to the Prophet salallahu Salam. So the role the Allahu Allah Wasn't she sold? Wasn't she beyond the age of marriage? Right? Um, Salama, Didn't she have children? Yes. But every single one of them found a husband.

My dad's sister and she actually got married with a young

Ah, and it didn't work out. And she was in her mid or late 50s when she got married again. I'm Bella. And that's pretty much it. Yeah, even though my uncle passed away, she did find someone eventually. Yes. So, this is amazing that Allah will enrich from His bounty. So ask Allah for his bounty. ask Allah for the spouse that you need, were able to follow aka Yogen Allah Who coulomb and sorority what can Allahu scrn Hakima because the thing is that sometimes when there's divorce, people say, You know what, we do this to hora.

And you know that man, that boy was so religious, he is religious, he is good. I mean, he has a beard. She wears a hijab. he recites Quran she recite Quran, how why did this divorce happen? Remember, divorce doesn't mean that those two people are evil. It doesn't mean those two people are sinful and really bad. No.

Marriage is what union Union a vote to individuals and for union both have to be on the same page, there has to be some kind of similarity, some kind of compatibility. And you might think that the two individuals are very compatible, just because they are religious. But it's not necessary. It's not necessary. People may be religious, very righteous, very pious, very good in their manner is very honest. But they may not be compatible. So if they end up getting divorced, don't think

must be something there must be something about them know.

And trust Allah unit is the Hara. It didn't work out. There's some height in this. Allah intended to teach you something through this experience. And isn't that so? When people go through divorce, they learn things, they realize things about themselves, about others that they could never have learned otherwise.

If a person goes through divorce, he realizes the value of a dutiful a good wife. And then when he finds one, eventually, then he is very grateful for her than he values her. And if he found her easy, then he would never have valued her.

That sometimes when people go through divorce, they come closer to Allah. You know why? Because they're praying to Allah more, they're crying before him more. They're pouring out their heart beforehand, they're asking him for solution for the best thing they go for overall, they give sadaqa Alright, so it brings them closer to Allah, while Allah Himself is similar to what Murphy have, And to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever that is in the earth, while a cardinal sign Alladhina Otto Nikita Habermann publikum and we instructed was slain out from Lhasa while sadiya We have instructed the people of the book before you what Yaqoob and also you are Muslims. What did

Allah instruct the people of the book before us and also us? And it took Allah that fear Allah, fear Allah, meaning fear Allah, even with regards to marriage, even with regards to divorce, in every situation, fear Allah. We're in Duck Furu. And if you disbelieve, and remember the other meaning of gopher gufram, ingratitude if you're ungrateful, for NL Allah Hema for summer work, you will never have done indeed to Allah belongs everything that is in the heavens and everything that is in the earth. What can Allah Linnaean Hamidah and Allah is free of need and praise worthy.

What does this teach us realize

that we belong to Allah, when we belong to him,

then he can decide whatever in our fate. Don't blame Allah for the divorce that you've gone through for a difficult marriage that you're living in? Because people say, Oh Allah, what did I ever do that I get such a bad husband? What did I ever do? That I ended up in a divorce? I was always such a good, chaste girl. I never had any boyfriend. I never had any boy whom I secretly liked. Never. I was so pure. And then I got a husband and now I'm divorced. Or long? Why? No, don't say that. Never let such thoughts come to your mind. Why? Because we belong to Allah and he can decide whatever he wants to do with us.

And if we turn away from Him, then where can we go?

Where can we go? What do we have? Nothing. Nothing at all. When you lay him off is summer where do you want Murphy's oil And to Allah belongs whatever that is in the heavens and whatever that is in the earth. Notice how many times has been repeated? Why to make us realize we belong to Allah, we are his Aslan or Jehovah Allah. Worker Fabula he were killer. And sufficient is Allah as workI who is working

Someone on whom you do Tawakkol you did a call on him when getting married. You did the work call on him when going through divorce. Now due to what call on him for things to get better and sufficient is Allah as what key you don't need to depend on others. You just need to depend on him. In your shirt you they become if he wants he can take you away. Are you a nurse or people? If you're ungrateful, you turn away from Him you disobey Him, then what will happen? Allah can take you away, he can replace you were to be a hurry and replace you with others are hurrying Florida, not here, a hug. Achill means last are harder means other. So he can replace you with others. What can Allah who

are another Luca Khedira, and Allah is fully capable of doing this. What does this I mean? The thing is that when we're ungrateful, then blessings are taken away from us.

And over here is a warning that if we turn away from Him, we are not grateful to him. And Allah can replace us he can take everything we have away from us, he can replace us with others, Mary marriage, many times a marriage comes to an end. Why? Because one or both

of the spouses are ungrateful to each other. The wife is ungrateful to the husband, the husband is ungrateful to the wife. If the wife counts something, what is it, it's things that the husband has not done, it's things that he has not given. Its promises that he has not fulfilled, she forgets and ignores everything that he has done. So when she remembers and lists the bad things, then obviously this relationship cannot last for long.

Likewise, if the husband ignores the good that the wife is doing, and just remembers her mistakes and shortcomings, then can this marriage survive? No,

it can never survive. So what happens then, when a person is ungrateful towards a spouse, then there is divorce, it finishes. And then we see that the man who was once married to a woman, now that woman is out of his life, and another woman has taken her place. Or the man that was in the life of a woman, when he didn't value her, didn't care for her, wasn't thankful for her than what happened. He was out. And Allah brought somebody else in his place in her life, who is much better, much more caring.

So what's the main lesson we learn here? Be grateful, gratitude ensures protection of blessings, when we're grateful blessings will remain. And all of the greatest blessings is a spouse. Man, can you read this a Weber dunya. Whoever desires the reward of this world, following the law, he's a web with duniya while akhira then Allah has the reward of this world and the hereafter. Because we want immediate immediate gratification. We want immediate results. We want that we should have the best husband, best children, best house everything best in this life. That's our focus. But should that be our focus? No, Allah can give you dunya and he can also give you a little sacrifice. If your

husband has damn good qualities and five shortcomings, then you know what? tolerate those five shortcomings. You can't have everything perfect in this life anyway. So don't seek dunya seek our Hara say Allah I accept this man, even though he's not 100% As I want him to be, but I accept him because you decreed him in my life. You make him better for me and Jana.

You make him more beautiful for me in China. Okay, so Allah can give you both don't aim for dunya only. Why do you want perfection? Now? What can Allah Who Samir imbecile euro and Allah is Hearing and seeing? He's hearing what you're saying? And he's looking at what you're doing? So what does this verse teach us? That this life is not perfect? There will be ups and downs, there will be imperfections, tolerate the imperfections, keep telling yourself this will be over and for your patients for your submissiveness for your acceptance, Allah who will reward you with the very, very best in this world and in the Hereafter, but for that, we need to accept and we need to wait and we

need to be patient. So may Allah subhanaw taala give us such big hearts, the spaciousness of the heart that we can tolerate other shortcomings.

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And every time I would imagine everything else in the universe that belongs to Allah except me. So does that go okay for reminding that they are also so we are part of Mafia Samoa to my fellow. It's not just the the white clouds in the blue sky. It's not just the leaves on the trees. But it's also you and I we also belong to him. If he can command the clouds to move on, he can command us to move on from certain things as well. So we also belong to Him. Subhanak Allahu Morbihan, deca, the shadow Allah Illa illa Anta Nesta Fuuka. One or two we like Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh