Taleem al Quran 2012 – P02 032C Tafsir Al-Baqarah 235

Well, as you know, her Aleikum, and there is no blame upon you FEMA or Look, don't behave in HIPAA but in itself, the Muslim men are being addressed that almost lament there is no blame upon you. For that, to which you indirectly allude concerning a proposal to women. Female, I'll let him be here. I want to miss on the Roulette resign robot and Odwalla is to indirectly present something or is to present something to show something to reveal it, but or another is to indirectly

Okay, indirectly show something so it's like, hint to it allude to it indirectly, okay. So there is no limit on you are mostly men, if you indirectly express your wish, of what men clip about in the set of proposal to women, which women the widow's hit, is from the religious hatha yoga, and Hatha is used for engagement, okay. But it's also used for proposal marriage proposal, when a man sends a proposal to the woman showing his interest in getting married to her.

So, there is no blame upon you if you indirectly show your interest in getting married to the widow when, during her waiting period,

okay, during the waiting period, can a man directly openly clearly proposed to the widow? Can he? No. But can he hint in indirect words? Yeah, yes, he can. Yes, he can.

So for example,

the man, you know, he sees that there is a woman and she is a widow, and she has young children, little children. But you know, if she goes on to work, then her children will be neglected. And this man, he is not married. Let's say he is of similar age of older, he got divorced, he doesn't have children of his own, or he just didn't get married very long, whatever the situation is of the men, okay. But he feels pity for that woman. He feels pity for those children. Let's say he is her dead husband's friend or relative or an acquaintance. So he feels bad for them. And he feels that, you know, I am interested in getting married, might as well get married to her, you know, so that she

has a family, her children also have some support.

Right? And he thinks that that woman is decent, but he knows that she's going through a very hard time. Yes, technically, he has to wait for four months and 10 days before proposing to her. But if before that, he feels that if an indirect hint is given to her, perhaps it will comfort her that she will still have a home, you know, her children will still have someone to look after them. Right? So he feels the need to indirectly send a message to her. Can he do that? Yes, he can mean click the button. He says he can do that.

So for example, he says, you know, he goes to visit the family. She's there her brother's there. He was a close friend. So he goes for condolence and he says Inshallah, Allah will provide these children are good father.

Okay, you could do that. Okay. Likewise, you could say that inshallah Allah will give you someone better, you know, Inshallah, Allah will compensate for your loss in some good way.

Or he can send a message through his sister or whatever that you know, my brother's looking to get married, by the way, just by the way thing? Not like would you be interested? No.

Okay, such a message can be given. What's the urgency vote

gone to you just wait until there is over? Like I mentioned to you, it might help her. It might help her to know that okay, there are other people who cared for her who care for her children. Okay, it might help her heal. It might help her deal with her problems. Okay. And on the other hand, the man might feel or what if she gets married to somebody else? I want to marry her. But if I wait until four months and dandy is what if, on the contrary, I don't remember and somebody else sends a proposal to when she gets married, so I might lose her. Okay. So he sends the proposal or he mentions it her indirectly not in clear words at all. Because it's dumb.

Right? Oh, a conundrum fee unfussy come or you can see that completely in yourselves I can come from Caf no known can is to keep something hidden. Do not let it be exposed to keep something in a secure place. So a conundrum fee and physical meaning you keep that wish that intention of sending a proposal to her in your heart. You don't express it directly or indirectly.

There's no harm you can do either you have the choice. If you can wait, you can hold on

Go ahead, wait. But if you think that no, you have to get the message to her somehow, then you may only do so in indirect terms. Can you think of an incident where this happened, that indirectly a proposal was given to a woman in her

womb selama law, the law on her husband passed away. The Prophet salallahu Salam, he came to offer his condolences and he said that you say Allahumma Gibney famously with you. Absolutely Hyun minha that Oh Allah, reward me for this mostly bow of mine and give me something better. So I'm Salah my she said that I thought to myself, who could be better than Abu salah?

Who could be better than him. But what happened with her, though was over the best man. He sent a proposal to her and who was he? Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and she accepted.

All right. So this shows that a widow can get married again.

She can easily get married again, there is no sin in such a marriage is nothing wrong in such a marriage. Because unfortunately, in many cultures, and I have to say Muslim societies, Muslim cultures, it's unheard of almost a widow gets married.

A girl may be very young, if her husband passes away, that's it for the rest of her life. She is going to remain single, she has to look after it gets all by herself. She's a beautiful woman. She wants to be married, she would like to have company. But she's not allowed. It's not even considered. It's not even considered. And if she even mentions that she expresses her wish to get married and and people think, Oh, she's so shameless. She doesn't have any higher. Look at her. She wants to get married when her husband died. Well, you know what that relationship is over now? This is why she said for her and she is free to marry somebody else. There is no blame upon that. If you

think about it, the prophets of Allah is Allah Most of the women that he got married to who were the widows his first wife, Khadija little or no, who was she a widow. So there is no harm in that at all. Or most of the lower end when his daughter Hafsa will deliver on her when her husband passed away. He was concerned about her. So the Prophet sallallahu wasallam married her, there's no harm in that at all.

So a connection fee and fusi come, Allah says Salim Allahu Allah knows a knock on satins, karuna Hoonah, that you will definitely mention them, you will definitely think about them. That if you have the desire to marry a woman and she's sitting in her Ada, Allah knows that you want to marry her and you can keep that wish concealed in your heart for four months and 10 days. You know, when you want to do something, you have an idea, you have this wish? Can you keep it to yourself? Can you? You can't you like some people say this person, they can't keep anything to themselves, they have to let it out. Even if it's a small thing that they have to do you intend to go to the grocery

store tomorrow, you will mention it to your husband, by the way, your sister by the way, does it have anything to do with them? Nothing. You have to go shopping, you will have to go to your friend's house but you keep telling everybody you posted on Twitter you posted on Facebook, why you can't keep it to yourself, you have to let it out. So Allah knows that you will remember those women such as Corona Hoonah and this they could, this will be in the heart this might be on the tongue given. So you can mention the headbutted Nyssa you can mention the proposal, but how indirectly?

Well I can lead to where you do Hoonah Silva, do not promise them in secret to where you do from well, arraign then promise,

don't go on making silly secret promises with those women, that you talk to her over the phone or you send her an email, and you write confidential. And you say, Sister, I'm very sorry about your loss. But by the way, I am interested in marrying you. So please consider me. You know, after your day is over, let me know so that we can make the arrangements and I promised I will marry you. Allah says no, let weary do Hoonah said one secretly, not as a seal is mentioned. Because nobody would dare to do this publicly. Right? Allah says don't go to the widow and talk to her secretly about these matters and promise them why.

Why? Yes.

Yes, she might be very hopeful. And when there is over you think oh, no, she has children. I don't think I can deal with children. You change your mind. And then again, her wishes her dream marriage is all shattered everything.

Exactly. It shows disrespect to her. She's sitting in her. She's mourning the death of her husband. And here you come asking her for her hand and married secretly. This is not fair.

She went

I'd be disgusted yes yes that What are you talking about? I'm still in mourning and here you are, you know expressing your wish to marry me Go away. Don't even talk to me. Right so she might not feel good about it. So it's not good for you not good for her led to where we do when the Scylla

in an Dakolo column or roofer except that you say, Amara roof statement cola Mark roofer Cole Kafala and my roof you know about this. So carnamah roofer saying Mr. Roof statement that is permissible. So for example, you say to the Wali that please let me know when her is over, okay, or that you say to her please let me know when you're in there is over so that she knows that there's something in this person's mind or the Wali knows that there's something in this man's mind you may say a colon Marfa

Well, a Thursday Morocco Dominica and do not resolve do not determine to have the tie of Nikka there is evil from Isaiah moraines a meme and what doesn't mean firm resolve determination to do something and once you make up your mind to do something, what happens after the action right awesome is followed by action.

So let Thursday mood do not even intend to do what rock that Annika the rock the meaning the tie the knot the contract of marriage, when during the don't even think about having the Nikka in that are done. And obviously don't even do the Nikka in there. But let's say a man and woman do get married in the woman's then what will happen?

Then what will happen? That nigga is not valid.

It is not valid, it will not be considered a nigger even.

And when it is found out those two individuals, they got married when the woman wasn't either whether it was by accident, or it was out of ignorance, then those two will be separated. And if they wish to get married, then they have to do proper Nica after the woman's or the is complete.

Okay, after the woman's or dies complete, I read a fatwa recently

that this person had asked a question about this man and woman who got married when the woman was sitting in her head that she was technically in Florida, but she got married to someone before there was over

and they have been married for 30 years like that.

Imagine

so, they found out that what they did was wrong after 30 years.

So what's to be done? The fourth one was that they have to be separated

and they have to perform the proper Annika.

So, yes, mistakes might happen out of ignorance. The woman may think that oh my Eartha is over out of mistake, but her it was not actually over there was a miscalculation okay. So, in that case the Nicca will be performed again some scholars actually have said that those two individuals will not be allowed to get married even

but other scholars have permitted it because it happened out of ignorance. So, when there is nothing clearly prohibiting it then we cannot prohibit that.

When it comes to sending the proposal indirectly it can be sent by the family it can be sent by the man himself. But whoever mentioned to the woman will say it in in direct terms. Even if it's mentioned to her Wali, it will be set in indirect terms. Yes.

The four months and 10 days are the lunar months and days Okay, so Allah Thursday Morocco data Nikka he had the year we'll have al Kitab Ajala until the Kitab reaches its agile, what is kita kita we generally think of it as Kitab meaning book, but Kitab remember in the Arabic language means McTell that which is written or that which is ordained. Okay, so over here Kitab does not mean book. What does it mean that which is ordained, and it refers to the waiting period because the waiting period is something that is fault. You know, just as we learned coup de ba Aleikum doesn't mean that fasting is actually written on you. Like on your body that you have to fast No, it means katiba

meaning prescribed on you. Okay, so Kitab meaning prescription that which has been ordained by Allah and it refers to that so don't get married, don't even resolve to get married until the waiting period is over. Wireless Mo and no and Allah Ya Allah will Murphy and for Sikander indeed Allah knows about what is in yourselves in your hearts. For those who who so fear him. Allah knows about the thoughts that you're entertaining in your hearts, the feelings that you have the intention that you have. Allah knows about that. So even if other people don't find out about what you're concealing in your head

Word who knows? Allah knows to fear him Father, oh, who, why is this mentioned over here because a man and woman may secretly get married, okay? Even before there is over, they hide it from the rest of the people.

They are deliberately making that mistake and in the heart is Leanna.

So Allah says that I know what is in your heart for the rules of fear Allah, and further rule from Heather. Heather is to be cautious to be careful to fear something and try to keep oneself safe from it. So for example, you are afraid of catching an infection. Okay, so what do you do? You become very cautious. You wash your hands, you don't touch other people, people who are infected, you don't even go close to them. Right. So this is here that you're taking your precaution.

So Father who fear Allah, meaning stay away from those things that bring you closer to his punishment. Stay away from those things that bring you closer to his punishment. So in other words, don't violate the commands of Allah even a little bit. The rules that he has said, Don't disobey them, don't go against them even in the slightest way.

So for example, four months and 10 days, don't even think about four months and nine days and on the ninth day, you do Nygaard, no further rule, be cautious of him, what Alemu and know that Anila forum Haleem that indeed, Allah is forgiving. And he is Helene Helene from Helm. Forbearance tolerance, to have the ability to take revenge to execute punishment. But to decide not to,

that you know that someone is doing something wrong, you have the power to stop them, you have the power to punish them, but you decide that you're not going to this is hidden. So Allah is Helene, that we do so many wrong things, but yet Allah does not punish us immediately, he gives us time to realize our mistake to turn back. So if you notice over here,

Allah tells us to fear him, because he knows what's in our hearts. And at the same time, he tells us that he is a foreign Haleem. So don't be afraid, you know, to the point that you become panic all the time, and you don't even do anything because you're afraid you might do something wrong. No, Allah is Forgiving and forbearing. So be hopeful of the Mercy of Allah as well.

But this teaches a very important lesson.

When it comes to what is in our hearts, our feelings, our thoughts, our desires, our intentions.

Many times they become uncontrollable,

isn't it? You can't control them.

What you want to do with your hands? Can you stop yourself? Yes, you can. You want to smack somebody? But then you're like, No, I can't. So you keep your hand back.

You want to put somebody on a pinch someone you want to write something on the computer, but what do you do you hold your hands back. But when it comes to your thoughts, your feelings, your desires, can you just press a button and go off? Can you do that?

So for example, if a person has a crush on somebody, and they're like, thinking about them, every time they were mentioned all sudden, you know, they had those feelings in their heart and their name is mentioned. And you're like who?

Their real feelings, right? You are young girls sitting in front of me who live in this world. And I know this happens.

So there are feelings in your heart that yes, you don't have control over them.

But a person must remember that. Who knows? Allah knows, my mom may have no idea that I like that guy. My dad has no idea that I like that person who's working at his workplace. You know, people may have no idea whatsoever

that you are interested in the guy next door and the person who goes to school with you the person who takes the bus with you. People have no idea parents have no idea but who knows. Allah knows. So who should we fear? Allah? Allah does not approve of this.

These feelings will come. Okay, but we cannot act on them.

So, okay, you feel that you are attracted to a particular guy, but don't go on talking to him without any reason.

Okay, don't go on telling your sister and your friend or you know, by the way, that guy I really like him. Don't say that.

Because once you say it, once you write it, once you do it, then you're held accountable.

Then you're held accountable.

As long as it's in your heart, and you're fighting it you're suppressing it. Insha Allah Allah is Allah food and honey

but the moment

See it? The moment you act on that feeling, then you will be held accountable. You know like the first gays, you're forgiven but if you look again, that's wrong.

Of course, that in this situation you ask Allah Ya Allah, please help me, this is not right. And if this is good for me, you know if something has to happen as a result of this, let it happen and please keep me clean, keep my heart clean, keep my relationship clean, don't let me do anything wrong. ask Allah for help.

And the more you strive to control your feelings, the more you fight them, the more reward you get, the more reward you get. So, further oh who fear Allah because he knows what's in your heart. But fight those feelings, control them as much as possible and ask Allah for his help and do is to

do is to far as well. But don't say it, don't do it. Don't express it. Okay? And this is not just about desires, but it could also be like, you feel jealousy you can someone

okay? You don't like the fact that your friend has an iPhone or you don't like the fact that your friend is married and you're still not married. I mean, you have that feeling you feel that jealousy?

Then again, don't say it, don't act on it. Don't express it at all. Keep it in your heart and ask Allah to clean your heart. A love of the hero can be the hero can be cleaned my heart purify my heart, okay. Because once you express it then it will lead to backbiting it will lead to slander it will lead to gossip it will lead to many wrong things

Okay, let's listen to the recitation

well

being all that nice

to see force equal

to

011.

County

now the rules and regulations are very dead that I mentioned Do you remember that they apply to the widow but also to the divorced woman which divorced woman not the one who is given luxury divorce revocable divorce because in vocable divorce Where is she in the house of her husband? So it's a different scenario, but it is irrevocable divorce or it is the woman who has taken holler, okay, because she's spending their ADA by herself. So, during that time, she will not get married to somebody nor will she receive any proposals, but an indirect proposal may be sent to her okay remember this please. This also applies to the woman who has been given irrevocable divorce for law

could bear in and the woman who took hola So, these rules also apply to her.

Now, remember that when a man and woman when they get married, there are certain things that have to be present at the time of Nica for the nigari to be valid Okay, first of all, the woman's wali he has to be there without the Wali the woman cannot get married, what else is necessary?

Yes, witnesses, witnesses also have to be there to witness the contract of Nica What else has to be there? Yes.

Okay, the contract the wording like the Wali says that I give you my daughter in marriage and the man says I accept Okay, or the girl is asked, Are you okay with this marriage? And she says yes, I am. I accept I agree. Okay. So the wordings of Nicca, the E jab and Qubool one more thing that's necessary for NIC activated the mush what is the math we discussed earlier it is the gift that the man gives to the woman. By the way, there is no concept of J. Hayes. Okay. Many of you have heard of this word. Others have no idea what I just said. This is basically a cultural practice. In Pakistani Indian culture. When a woman gets married, she brings to the house of her husband a lot of stuff.

Okay. And it's like said as a condition that at the time of marriage that when the neglect takes place, she has to bring 20 bedsheets and 20 bags of this and 10 bags of this and gift for so and so and this much jewelry, and if you don't bring this much sorry, we will not accept you

In Islam, it's completely opposite the woman. She has the right to bring nothing, nothing at all. Not even a towel. Not even a piece of jewelry, not even, you know a hairbrush.

She doesn't have to, she can come literally empty handed in the house of her husband and who is supposed to give her everything. The husband, okay, the husband has to provide for her and not just provide for her, but at the time of Nica, especially he has to give a bridal gift, a gift, which is known as the muv. How much is the motto supposed to be? What is the man? Does it have to be cash? No, it can be whatever the man can afford to give. It could be a house. It could be a car, it could be a piece of jewelry, it could be cash, it could be dishes, it could be her school fees, okay, like she says, I have to complete my university degree he says okay, your mud is that I pay for all of

your fees, you know, two years that you have left? I'll take care of them. That's your mother. Yes.

It has to be agreed upon. Sometimes it happens that the Father the Wali, he will put a price tag that you can only get married to my daughter if you give her 100,000 rial if you give her $100,000 Otherwise no way.

People can't even afford to spend that much money on themselves how can they afford to give that as much right?

So you can't demand but definitely the woman has to be happy with that Mel she has to agree to it. Okay, and if a man cannot afford anything at all, and if he offers to teach the woman some knowledge and the woman is okay with that, even that is acceptable as much

even that is acceptable as Maha. So the man has literally nothing, he can't afford to give anything he wants to get married.

And all he can give us you know, he has memorized the Quran he has ijazah integrity says okay, this is what I can offer. I can teach you the Quran and I can give you a Jazza that will be my model to you. You know even if it takes 10 years to do that, I will do that. And the woman says yes, I accept it. She's okay with it her well he's okay with it then that mod is automatic. It has to be some gift that is of some value. Okay, that is of some value.

Yes.

I don't know. A Lahore because in the Quran and Sunnah, what we see is that the man has to give them a hug. The woman, yes, her parents can give her gifts at the time of her wedding. That you know their daughters getting married their only daughter or their first daughter, or their youngest daughter, you know, whatever. They want to give her a gift. So let's say they give her some cash, they give her jewelry, they give her clothes, they take her shopping, they have the right to do that the woman can bring whatever she wants to do with her. People can gift her. But remember, it's not an obligation. The man on the other hand, if he doesn't give them a hug, that Nica is not valid.

Okay, Maha is a condition for Nika.

Nika is only valid when the Wali is there when the Wali allows for that negotiate because because remember that the router the nigga is not between the woman and her husband but between the Wali and the husband. Okay, so we have established that mod is an obligation that is something that the man has to give to the woman. One more thing I want you to remember is that nigga is the contract. Okay, nigga is the contract. It doesn't have to be written. Okay? But it is a contract that is definitely verbal, for sure. It's best if it's written if it's recorded, and these days you have to record it, okay? It's a legal requirement. Now, when Nica happens, then the man and woman are technically halal

for each other, meaning they can live together, they can have relations, a woman, she was previously non Muslim, she had to wear hijab in front of him, but no longer they are married to each other. So they are my home. Okay.

Now, it's quite possible that for some reason or the other, they decide that they're only going to start living together after some time. Now, what is that consummation of marriage than the marriage has been consummated. It can happen immediately after the Nikkor it can happen a month after it can happen a year after it can happen two years after whenever, okay, the consummation of marriage can be deferred. But the Nikka has still been done.

But remember that once the marriage is consummated, then the MaHA becomes wajib meaning the man has to give them a hug to the woman. So let's say at the time of nigga, he said, Inshallah, I will give you $10,000 I'm working. I will save up. By the time you come to my house. I will have the money ready. He says to the Father, I will have the money ready. I will give it right now. I don't have it. Okay. But once the marriage consummation happens, then he has

As to give them a hug. He cannot keep it with himself. And the longer he has to go, it becomes wider mandatory.

But let's say before that he decides to divorce her.

For whatever reason.

It's quite possible right? Nigga happened was said that, okay, we'll give them a hug later. But they talk over the phone a few times they go out together a few times and man is like, no way. We can't, this is not going to work out. And he says before we start living together, it's best that we ended here. So in that case, does the woman get to keep the Baha does she not get to give them a what's happening? What's the story with the MaHA? So in the following verses we will learn about in which case of marriage and divorce. Does the woman keep them or her and how much does she keep?

Okay. One case is that the marriage was Nikka was done. Okay. Muhammad was fixed. Okay. And the marriage was also consumated. Muhammad fixed marriage consummated, both done

and other cases that neither was the Muhammad fixed nor was the marriage consumated. Are you paying attention? Many of you are not. And I can tell that by the fact that you're not writing. If you're not writing, you're not taking this class seriously. Another case is that the Muhammad was fixed, but the marriage was not consumated and other cases that the MA was not fixed, but the marriage was consumated. So you see there are four cases Maha fixed marriage consumated. Another Maha not fixed marriage, not consumated. Another Maha fixed but marriage not consumated. Another Maha not fixed in marriage consummated. Okay. So there are four different cases. Inshallah, we will learn about them

in the verses and if you didn't get to write all of this down your homework is to go over these verses and find these four cases they're actually in the verses so you can actually learn about them from the very vs if you pay attention.