Taleem al-Quran 2010 – Juz 18 – L185C

Now, in the eye, it is also mentioned that in these three times the children and the servants must be taught to seek permission. However, outside of these times, they are allowed to come in without permission, without knocking on the door, especially if the doors open and if the door is closed, and they must seek permission.

But remember that once people have reached the age of puberty, once a child has reached the age of puberty, then he must seek permission every single time.

You understand? You must seek permission every single time, whether it is of the times of privacy or not.

Like, for example, if a brother wishes to go into his sister's room,

it's five o'clock in the evening. Does that time fall in any of these three times of privacy? No. But should he just walk in? No, it's possible that she's sitting in her relaxed clothing, it's possible that her just slightly is being exposed and in front of her brother, she would like to wear a shawl on her chest. And it's possible that she's doing some work, which is why she's removed her shell. So you should not just walk in like that.

Similarly, if you're walking into your parents bedroom, again, you shouldn't just walk in. So for children, they're allowed to walk in without permission outside of these three times. However, when a person has reached the age of puberty, then he has to seek permission every single time.

And you can seek permission how by for example, walking in just knocking at the door,

or making your presence known as you're walking towards the door, say hum, or say Salaam out loud that they are aware that you're approaching? You understand?

It doesn't mean that as you come to the door, you must knock three times and you must say, May I come in? No, this would add difficulty.

But the thing is that you can't just walk into children they can walk in, you cannot walk in as an adult, you have to take permission in some way or the other in whatever manner that is appropriate.

And then the last panel data seska Delica, you Beijing, Allahu the Kemal Ayad, Thus does Allah clarify to you, the ayah.

What does the IRS refer to over here?

commands and remember, the ayat are both Kony as well as Sheree.

And what is an ayah linguistically? What does it mean?

A sign and evidence a miracle isn't itself.

So okay, if we call akoni II, understandable. It's a miracle. It's a sign of Allah's existence. It's a sign of Allah spower his wisdom, his knowledge, his care, his affection that he has towards his creation? But what about sugar? Yeah, why is it called IRA?

What does that reflect?

It shows to us about the wisdom of a lot of knowledge of a lot of these commands that He has given us they are for our own benefit.

A hokum a command is being called an IRA. Because these commands, these instructions are such that no one besides Allah, could have given such contracts. No one besides Allah could have ever given this command.

Just as no one can create the sun besides other than Allah. Similarly, no one can ever give this command besides almost.

Why?

Because it reflects great knowledge, it reflects great wisdom, that these are the needs of people. These are things that people need, these are their weaknesses, and people must be given their privacy even inside their houses. And the children, they must be taught these things, because if they are not taught these things, and what will happen, they will be exposed to such things which are inappropriate for them, which are too great for them to understand.

So these commands, what do they reflect the great knowledge, wisdom of a las panatela. And it shows that none but Allah, no human, no psychologist, no counselor could ever come up with these instructions. Think about it. A lot of panatela has given us instruction, even as to how we should be within our houses, so that our houses become a place of peace for every individual who's living in that house. Because if a person is not granted his privacy in the house, will he be at peace? Will he know he cannot be at peace. So these if they show the great wisdom of a lot that how much he cares for his creation, and he knows the needs of people. He knows about their weaknesses. He knows

about their weak points. This is why he has given these comments

and the one who created

This is the one who knows us, the one who knows about everything.

And he knows the benefits of implementing this command as well.

Because we might not consider this command to be very important. But we see that it's an idea. It's of the ayat. Because there are many, many benefits to implementing these comments.

Now, to summarize, what do we learn in this ayah? Many, many lessons. First of all, just to summarize, we learned that it is not about for children to enter their parents bedroom, without permission, at specific times. And as for those who have reached the age of puberty, it is not allowed for them to enter people's private areas without their permission, either.

What can we learn from this for ourselves?

That if someone has become an adult, he should not enter into somebody else's private area without their permission? What can we learn for ourselves from this rule? What do you think

that we should not enter into other people's private areas without their permission? What do we learn

the importance of other people's privacy? Like for example, if you go to somebody's house, they've invited you. And you go upstairs and check out their bedroom? What kind of furniture the best? How big is their washroom? How big is the closet? Is this appropriate? know, if children are not allowed to enter into the private areas of their parents? How can we, even if we're relatives or close friends, how can we walk into other people's private areas without their permission? Opening Doors, opening every door, saying that, Oh, I thought it was a washroom, just to see how big is the house? And what else do they have in their house? This is not right. Because sometimes people do this a

lot.

They will open random doors saying that, Oh, I thought it was the washroom, just to see just to get a peek of what's inside. And the guests have been told the washroom is here, you can use this washroom, but deliberately, they will go upstairs to the private bedrooms and use those washrooms just to see how big is a house, what have they put inside the house. Now if the host has said you can use any washroom that's different, if they themselves have taken you to the bedroom that's different. But you cannot just walk in without permission.

You cannot just walk in without permission, this is inappropriate.

Secondly, we also see in desire that a person is not allowed to see the setup of others. At these three times

the private parts of a person they must not be exposed to others, especially at these three times. Like for example, if a person has removed they're closer in the bedroom, the servant is not allowed to come and see them.

You understand. Similarly, their adult son or even their little child cannot come and see them. Why? Because their Southern is being exposed. So if their Southern is being exposed in these three times. And because of this, these three times have been made times of privacy, it shows that it is not allowed for a person to look at the center of the other outside of these three times either.

A person must not dress up in a way that exposes itself.

You understand? Like for example, because you are wearing bed clothes that are short, that may be see through that may reveal parts of your body. And because you're in your bedroom at that time, this is why other people are not allowed to come into your bedroom at that time.

How can you walk out of your room dressed in those clothes going in front of everyone outside of these three times? You understand because the person is dressed up in that way. This is why these times are made times of privacy. This shows that otherwise, a person does not walk around in such clothes before others. Because if that was not the case, and these three times will not be made times of privacy, you understand.

Then we also learn from this ayah that a person may need to remove his clothes at the three times that are mentioned in this ayah at these three times of privacy, but otherwise it is not appropriate.

Just because a person is feeling hot, they say they'll take off their shirt, they'll roll up their pants all the way up to their knees for example a girl This is not appropriate.

Because these three times are kept exclusively for a person to remove their clothes to wear short clothes. However, other than these three times it is not appropriate.

A person must dress up in a way that is appropriate, especially when he is amongst others.

Then we also see that there are three times of privacy. And if children are not allowed to come in then other people, meaning adults even they're not allowed to come in at these three types. If children are

Not allowed, then adults are also not allowed.

Another very important thing that we learn is that when a person wears full clothing, appropriate clothing outside, because sometimes what happens, for example, women, when they walk out to the house, they will wear appropriate clothes, they will wear hijab, everything. But inside the house, they don't care about the kind of clothes are wearing.

And especially in certain cultures, especially women, they don't really care, they will walk around with their necks exposed with their backs as boys with half of their legs being exposed. Okay, you might say that it's not really included in the Saturday or Saturdays from the navel to the knee. Alright, but there's something known as being appropriate.

So, in the house, even, how should a woman dress in front of her adult sons in front of her daughters? How should she dress up in a manner that is appropriate? Similarly, how should a girl dress up in front of her brother in a manner that is appropriate, because we see only three times have been given for privacy. Other than that, you should dress up in a way, you should behave in a way that others don't feel awkward and you don't feel awkward either.

You understand. So even within the house, if you have your adult children living with you, even if you have little children, six year old, 10 year old, don't think oh, they're only children, no, dress appropriately. dress in a manner that is appropriate. Cover your body wear decent clothes.

Because sometimes it leads to many wrong things as well. Like, for example, between brothers and sisters, it could lead to very inappropriate things I remembered recently, somebody was telling me that somebody had called, you know, to get some counseling, basically a mother, she said that she had a four year old daughter and her husband's brother, he got divorced or something. So basically, his son, who was about 16 years old, he had nowhere to go, because the parents had split up or the mother had died or something like that. So basically, the son was left on his own. So the uncle said, okay, you know, you can come and stay with me. So he had the son, live with him.

Now, he had a daughter, who was four years old. And now he has nephews living in the same house, a 16 year old.

And between these children, that 16 year old the way he sexually assaulted, you know, his cousin, was something that the mother could not get over. He sexually assaulted the four year old girl.

We think cousins, brothers and sisters, how can something wrong happened, nothing wrong can happen. This is what we feel right.

But the fact is that even amongst cousins, even amongst siblings, shaitaan is there he can arouse such feelings or inappropriate, he can cause people to do things that are improper.

So it is our responsibility that we must dress in an appropriate way, we must dress children in an appropriate way. Just because she's a four year old girl does not mean she should be wearing a tank top and a very small shorts all the time. With her legs being exposed her upper body being exposed, this is not appropriate. Because sometimes you think only children. But we see that it begins at this age. If she has become so used to exposing her body at this point, in front of her brothers in front of her father in front of her uncle's and her male cousins, when she becomes older way will her higher come from.

So it's extremely important that we take care of these things, even inside the house,

that we dress appropriately, we dress our children appropriately.

And even between brothers and sisters, there should be some sort of higher, there should be some sort of higher because sometimes sisters, what do they think, is only my brother, and they will not be wearing appropriate clothes.

I remember my father once mentioned to me about my mother. And he said that when they got married, he never saw my mother walk in front of her father without her shawl without her shell covering her. And basically he was teaching us that you know, you become older. So you should be covering yourself as you're wearing clothes, however, you should be wearing a shawl around yourself. I never saw your mother doing anything against this. So you should also be doing the same thing. It's a part of higher

so just because he's your brother, doesn't mean you don't need to dress up appropriately you do similarly with your father similarly with your uncles and obviously cousins are non Muslim. So proper hijab must be observed before that.

So these were some of the commands that we learned from this ayah

more commands are being given in the following I and they are that were either available outside lumen COMM And when the children among you they reach aluma. The puberty of violence, the plural of playful and playful is used for a child and it includes both male as well as female

playful. favela literally means to have very soft body, very fragile to be very delicate. And if you look at a little children, their bodies are very soft, isn't it? If you look at their feet, they're so soft. And as soon as they, you know, become older, what happens? All those nice, soft feet, they come so hard and tough, isn't it? Those same soft hands, they become so hard and tough.

So what about our fellow men come on Helena. When the children among you, they reach the age of puberty. among you, you refers to the thought the free ones.

with children are these those children who were taught to seek permission when entering their parents private bedrooms, at three times of privacy.

At the three times of privacy, the children were to seek permission outside of those three times they could walk in, they could walk in, with or without permission, without permission, right. But now, when these same children, when they become adults, when they hit puberty, then what should they do? Fall yesterday No, then they should also seek permission when, when entering the private bedrooms, any time of the day, anytime, before, they were only to seek permission at the three times of privacy. But now they are to seek permission every time they wish to enter fully aesthetically new than they should seek permission.

Comma, just as is then allow venum and cubberly him just as those people before them also sought permission which people

meaning those who reached puberty before them, those who are older than them. So for example, the big brother, he seeks permission, but his younger sister does not seek permission. Why? Because she has not yet reached the age of puberty. But when she hits puberty, what does she have to do? follow the footsteps of her brother. She also has to seek permission for the esta Dino camasta then alladhina macabre

karateka up in Allahu la comme it Does, does Allah clarify to you his ayat will love her and even Hakeem and Allah is Knowing and he is also wise. Why are these two attributes mentioned over here? Because he knows his servants inside out.

He knows what they need. He knows about their affairs. He knows about their weaknesses. This is why he has given this command and Hakeem that he is Zulu hokum. hikmah is a possessor of judgment, and he's also the possessor of wisdom, and whatever command he gives is based on his wisdom, will love where our demon hecky

so what do we learn in this ayah that when the children who have reached puberty when they enter the house, or when they enter the private bedrooms? What do they need to do? seek permission?

How will they have to seek permission? Just as we learned earlier in IE, number 27, that Yeah, are you a Latina, amanu letter to Hulu, AWT, calm competitors that need to wear to sell anymore.

They will begin to seek permission in that manner. Especially when entering the house.

Now think about yourself. Put yourself in this position because only when we relate it with ourselves then we'll be able to understand and then we'll be able to implement. Think about yourself. When you go home you live with your parents and your siblings, your brothers and your sisters. Perhaps your grandparents they all live in the same house. When you enter the house. What should you do you have the keys should you ring the bell? No. What do you have to do? Unlock the door and as you walk in, say Salaam outloud say Salaam out loud Why? So that your presence is felt it is known by the people.

And this is especially important for boys, especially important for boys for the men of the house. Because it's possible that the brother walks in the sisters working in the kitchen she's not dressed in a manner that she would feel comfortable in front of her brother. So especially for boys This is necessary that when they walk in, they must seek permission they must make their presence be known.

Now this is when entering the house. Now suppose you want to go to your brother's bedroom. What will you have to do? Can you just walk in? No. You have to knock. You have to especially if the doors closed you can't just open the door and walk in no matter how urgent the situation may be. It's possible that there is a phone call. Don't just open the door and rush in. This is inappropriate.

What will you do? Knock especially if the door is closed if the door is open. Make your presence

Known as you come in, say, Can I come in what's going on? Are you okay? Whatever you have do. So this is how it should be.

And this is for all adults, all those people who have reached the age of puberty and beyond, so whether someone is 13, or someone is 15, or someone is 25, or someone is 30, or 40, or 50, or 60, it doesn't matter now, it's however older person is.

Now, we see that, just a side note that if the children are not allowed to look at the setup of their parents, their own parents, if siblings are not allowed to look at the set of one another, the private parts of one another, the parts of the body that must be covered, if they're not allowed to look at one another in this way, then how can we allow our children to watch the setup of others on the television?

And we turn the television on ourselves for them.

Many, many times I have seen that just to keep the children busy. What will people do during the TV on

during the TV on and all the children are sitting over there?

And many times people don't care what's coming on the TV, what children are watching, what they're thinking, what's going on in their minds, what they're learning how they're behaving as a result of that. And we think, Oh, it's cartoons. And cartoons are harmless? No, they're not harmless anymore. They're quite harmful. The kind of words that are used, the kind of figures that are made, the way the parts of the bodies are enhanced, and how they're made to look so obvious. This is all inappropriate. So we should be very, very careful that if children are not allowed to see their parents, they're not allowed to see their siblings. How can they see others? How is it possible?

So this is very, very important that we must keep a check on what our children are watching. What they're looking at, what they're reading, what they're thinking about what they're talking about.

Because typically, what happens if, for example, there's a get together, families have gotten together, friends have gotten together, women are in one area, the men are in one area and the children, they're in another area. And they're left completely unattended, with a television with perhaps some video games, with perhaps a computer. And no one is keeping a check on the children thinking they're innocent, what can they do. But remember the children he comes to the children a lot, a lot, because that is the time when he can catch them. And remember that he cannot do reata wash ericom, Phil and Wiley one oh lead. Chetan especially targets the children.

So this is why we must begin to do the Serbia from a very early age from inside the house.

And it's our obligation that we must make sure our children are not watching things that are inappropriate. They're not talking about things that are inappropriate either.

Because many times parents are oblivious. They're completely oblivious to what the children are doing.

thinking, Oh, we don't understand these things. These children of this day and age, they're too clever. They're too intelligent. They're too smart for us. Regardless, they're human beings, you have to become more active, you have to learn yourself. I remember one of my friends, she was not allowed to read any book unless her mother read it.

And this was until we reached high school after that was okay. But until that point, she was not allowed to read any book, even unless her mother read the book.

She was not allowed to watch any movie, unless her mother approved of it.

She was not allowed. We think this is too strict. This is not giving children their freedom. But we see that it is our obligation that we must provide proper education and training to our children from a very, very young age. Because you seen the previous either command was given to to the children directly. No, it was given to the parents because they are responsible. They're going to be held accountable.

And whatever children do whatever mistakes they make, whatever wrong things they do, who is held responsible for it. It's the parents. Now, it's another thing that the parents, they try their best, they do their best, they provide the best to take care of the child but still tomorrow, the other the child has bad friends that influence and because of that is completely out of their hands. So that's another case. However, every parent must be very, very proactive. Proactive. No about what your children are watching at school, what they're reading, what they're learning about what they're talking to with their friends. Be aware of all of these things. And sometimes some parents have this

habit of spying on their children. Checking out these things behind their backs. Don't hide behind their backs. Do it with them in front of them.

So that they trust you,

and you show to them, that you trust them as well. There should be this level of confidence between parents and children. So this is something that we must take care of.

Now let's listen to the recitation, then we'll continue.

Ladies.

Some scholars have also said that, the second is that it is in particular about boys, this is particularly instruction for who, for boys, because typically the place of the women is where inside the house, isn't it so. And men, generally, they're outside the house, where they're working or doing whatever night for example, compared to how much your father is outside your mother's more inside the house, because she has to cook and she has to look after the children, and your father is more outside. Similarly, maybe compared to you, your brother's out more, you have a curfew, and perhaps he also has one, but it ends later compared to yours, right.

So the boys are especially being taught, and when they enter the house, whether they're sisters in the house, or their mothers in the house, or their grandmothers in the house, or their daughters in the house, they must walk in taking permission, meaning making their presence known, so that nothing awkward happens, they don't see something awkward. And other people also don't feel awkward. But this teaches is a very important lesson as well, that when people are living in a joint family system, when people are living with their in laws, it's not the ideal situation. However, if, for example, if such is the case, for whatever reason, then this rule must be applied, and it must be

remembered, it must be applied.

Because if for example, the father in law walks into his son's bedroom, and the wife is there, you know, it's very awkward for him or for her.

And especially if the brother in law is living, then he has to be very, very careful, very careful, then he must seek permission, not just make his presence known. However, he must seek permission before coming.

We see how the children are taught gradually, that when they're younger, they're three times of privacy. And at that time, they must seek permission. Other than that, they're allowed to come.

And then as they grow older, than those three times of privacy are expanded for them, they're increased for them. So see how gradually children are taught. And this is a very important lesson that whenever we teaching children something, how should we teach gradually.

Like for example, I remember when we were growing up when children are seven years of age, and they should be taught how to pray. And when they're 10, it should be made sure that the children are praying five times a day. So for example, when we turned seven, we were told we have to start praying this one particular solo regularly. That's something that we have to bring when we turn eight, okay, now increase one more, during nine, okay, increase to more. for an hour when you turn 10. All five you have to. So gradually, when you build it up, it's easier. And when all of a sudden, one day, you're like you have to pray five times a day.

It's very difficult for children, they're not used to it. So build gradually, anything you want to teach your children build gradually and start from a very, very young age. Don't think they're too young. What do they understand?

Like for example, if a child is seven years old, how can a child whose children sada Don't think like that? No, it's an obligation on them start gradually, eventually.

whatever is necessary will.

Also we see that we argue a lot for different people's rights, women's rights, animal rights, so on and so forth. And these are children's rights,

that they should be allowed to keep their innocence until a loss of panel data has allowed them. That until they reach the age of puberty, they must not see something even that is inappropriate for them even inside the house, because otherwise it's going to take their innocence away from them. And if children are exposed to such things within the house, then it may lead to some psychological disorders or it could make them unsettled emotionally, mentally, and it could lead to severe problems in the future. So it's very, very important that children should be granted this right of this, that they should be allowed to remain children. They should be allowed to remain innocent and

their innocence. their childhood is not snatched away from them.

Because if we take it away from them, This is injustice towards children.

Let's listen to the recitation.

Come on

me

ladies.