Channel: Taimiyyah Zubair
An-Nisa 123-134 Word-Analysis and Tafsir 128
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Are we let him in the shade
Let's continue our lesson.
What anymore I don't have admin barely her new shoes and oh Erica.
And if a woman fears from her husband, contempt or aversion.
Previously in Southern Nevada, we learned about the opposite case, in which the man expects new shoes from his wife, the man in fifth, that he fears that he knows he expects new shoes from his wife. What was it all?
That if your wife is disrespecting you What should you do? pronounced divorce cutover? What should you do beat her up until she listens? No. Certain commands were given that you follow these steps? Why? In order to save your marriage? What are those steps for Illumina that you advise them to admonish them you talk to them? If they don't listen, despite you're discussing the matter with them, then ignore them a little bit. And if they don't, then even go to the extent of lightly punishing them physically punishing them? Why, in order to save your marriage, in order to save your marriage, not to harm the woman, but just to save your marriage.
Now over here, also, if the woman senses, if the woman sees new shoes from her husband, What should she do? Go to the court and demand Hola. Know, what is she told to do over here? compromise? Why, again, in order to save the marriage, in order to save the marriage?
Because generally what happens if the man is unfair to the woman? She wants to divorce immediately? If the man doesn't like his wife, what does he do? He wants to get divorced immediately, literally on the slightest issues on the smallest issues, even sometimes, people separate couples separate and they end up in a divorce and how did it begin? Just a slight difference. People are different. And the way of dealing with problems is not by cutting off the other person. But by doing something compromising, advising, sometimes punishing, doing different things. Why in order to make the marriage work?
Because marriage is something that is a serious relationship. It's not just two people living together happily? No, it's two people who have made an act. It's a contract. academica is a contract. It's an ad. And that Allah subhanaw taala will question about on the Day of Judgment.
When the marriage contract is made, the Wali is there, the relatives are there, it has to be announced, the witnesses are there the man has given I mean, this is something serious, you cannot just break it, just because you don't like the other person just because you had an argument with them. No, you have to do something in order to save the marriage. So both have been commanded to do something in order to save the marriage.
And if you look at it, sometimes when a husband and wife don't get along with one another, what happens? They end up in a divorce, they cannot stand one another. They don't want to compromise, they end up in a divorce and who gets affected. It's the children.
It's the children. So for the sake of your children, maintain this marriage, keep this marriage, even if it means that you have to compromise on something, but for the greater good for the greater good of not just your children, but the society at large compromise do something or the other in order to save this relationship.
We see that sometimes the relationship between husband and wife it doesn't work out the husband, he wants to get divorced. But at the same time, he thinks that if I divorce her, Where would she go? Where would she go? What will she do? She will be divorced What about our child. Similarly, he fears a loss of penalty, because it might not be really a genuine reason, but he wishes to divorce her for some reason or the other. So, in that case, there are so many differences, the husband does not like the wife, the wife is not being able to fulfill the rights of the husband. In that case again, instead of finishing the relationship what should be done, compromise compromise should be done
and that is what is being mentioned in this
one a numerator and if there is a woman, which woman
It is said that this is general, any wife any woman, whether young or old, whether she has children or not whether it has been likes or not. I mean any woman
certainly has said that Mr. atone over here in particular refers to the old woman The old woman
whose husband is steering away from her. And he does not have interest in her because of her old age, because of her old age. And he doesn't find her attractive. In fact, he has to look after her, she's more like a burden upon him. So what does he do? What does he want to do? He wants to divorce her. Now, this is the opinion of some scholars. And from this, we can also understand that there could be some quality, some characteristic some trait in the woman that the husband does not like. That husband does not like,
for example, he doesn't like the way she looks, I mean, her appearance, he just cannot stand it. Sometimes it happens the other way around. But sometimes a man cannot just stand the woman. I mean, he's not physically attracted to her at all. Now, one thing is that he divorces her. But what is that divorce going to lead to? Perhaps more problems for her? If they have a child, maybe problems for the child?
Similarly, it's possible that the woman she cannot bear children, the woman cannot bear children. Now in that case, the husband really wants children. So what should he do? divorce rate is because you cannot have children. Is that fair? No. Now, the fact that the husband he wants children, but she cannot bear children. So should they be forced to stay together? Should he be forced to like her? Should he be forced to keep her? In that case? What is we mentioned here? Is that the woman? What should she do? She should compromise on some of her rights. Why? In order to make the marriage last, that she's all she's more like a burden on him. She says, Okay, fine. You don't give me this
money. Just let me live here with dignity. Don't give me all that money.
Similarly, she says, Okay, if, for example, he has two wives, she says, okay, don't sleep with me. But just let me be your wife. Don't send me away from him. Because if she sent to it, if she's divorced, in case of the old woman, where's she gonna go?
Maybe her parents have died. Maybe her siblings are in some other country where she going to work. So in that case, the woman is not really fulfilling the rights of the husband, the husband is not happy with her. In a way he has the right to divorce her. But it's better for the marriage to last in that case, the woman can compromise on some of her rights.
So what anymore? If there is a woman, Harford invalidly? Her? who fears from her husband? What does she fear from her husband, new shoes and ill treatment
effects over your Hartford health is about something health is to expect something dangerous, to expect something harmful. And it scares a person. Just the thought of that harmful thing. The expectation of that harmful thing, what happens? It scares a person. So basically, hope is about something that has certain hope is certain fear. So over here, what it means by fear is that it's not that she assumes she just imagines No, she knows for sure. She fears that her husband is ill treating her and this is getting out of hand. He is not respecting her. This is getting out of hand. And at the same time, she doesn't want to leave. They know that they shouldn't divorce because it's
going to create further problems.
So if she hears from her husband, and the word that has been used for husband over here is
the word bank is used for husbands specifically, it is used for the husband specifically and the word zote is used for both husband and wife.
So if she fears from her husband, new shoes, what is new shoes,
but isn't the shoes
literally, arrogance, pride is basically to lift up one's head against the other. So basically, it is arrogant. And new shoes is violation of marital duties, violation of marital duties, marital obligations.
So the word new shoes is used for the husband and it's also used for the wife previously read new shoes in the context of the wife. What is the news of the woman that she violates the marital duties? What are the duties on the woman that she has to obey the husband.
Similarly, his sexual health as well she has to give that there are different different types of rights, different different types of duties that are imposed on the husband and the wife. So if the woman does not fulfill them, what is that issues?
Similarly, there are some duties that are imposed
fundament and what are they? we learned earlier? Why should one bill maher roof it's a command that you live with the women, how, in a manner that is appropriate in a kind way
that you provide them what good accommodation, you provide them with their necessities or their needs. Similarly, when you deal with them, when you speak to them, it should be in a manner that is maroof, that their rights must be fulfilled. So if the woman fears from her husband issues, what does it mean? That, for example, the man he does not spend on her, the man, he treats her with disrespect. He speaks very harshly with her. Why, in order to get rid of her.
Sometimes men do this, why in order to get rid of their wives. Why? Because if they're going to Ill treat her what you're going to do, she's going to ask for help.
And sometimes this news is just because the man doesn't like the woman, he just doesn't like her.
Just as in the case of the wife, the wife doesn't like the husband. Here, the husband doesn't like the way.
So he fears from the husband issues and that he is not fulfilling his marital duties
or aversion. indifference, or, or this wandering factor is invalid. And it allowed us to turn away from someone to avoid someone to ignore someone.
And it is basically to turn away from someone with one's heart in the sense that you turn your heart away from someone you don't like them. You ignore them. And I have a question, is it all the worse, or issues worse?
For the woman in love is much worse. Because initials, at least he's talking to her. But in era, he doesn't even come to see you. He doesn't even talk to her.
She calls him he doesn't respond. She sends him a text. He doesn't respond
to Susan. Oh, erlton.
What is it all that rejection, ignoring this interest that he turns his face away from her, he is averse to her? And he's interested in someone else? It happens, this is real life. So in this case, what should the woman do? By I'm leaving, you know, follow Gina, her la humor, then there is no blame upon them to there is no sin upon them to upon you to the husband and the wife. What, and usually have a new humor that they do sort of between the two of them, that they come to some mutual agreement between the two of them. What sort of a reconciliation. So there is no blame upon them, if they have some mutual agreement between themselves of what of some compromise. What is the source
referring to over here, some compromise? Now, over here, it has said legendary, there is no blame. What is this show that if Otherwise, this compromises made, it would be sinful, it would be incorrect.
Because the duties that have been imposed upon the husband, who has imposed them, a loss of the duties have been imposed upon the wife who hasn't posted a loss of planetary.
So if either of them don't fulfill those duties, isn't that sinful? Of course, it is. Yes, in leaving out those duties, you are being unjust to the other person, but who are you disobey a loss of parameter. So over here, it is said legend Harley, you know, there is no blame upon them, meaning if they do some compromise of the duties with mutual agreement, then they are not sinful because otherwise it is sinful.
Now, what is this? What is this compromise? What is this reconciliation?
This is basically that the wife, she forfeits, she gives up, she concedes, she basically gives up some or all of her rights, some or all of her rights.
For example, provision, nothing
that she says okay, you used to give me 1000. Now you can give me 200.
For example, if the man has two wives, and one he really likes, why, because she has children, she cooks really nice and the other wife, she's more like a burden on him. He wants to get rid of her. So in that case, what did you do that don't divorce me? Keep me It's okay. Just give me less money as an Africa.
Similarly, less or a smaller
dwelling, that, for example, she has a house to herself, and the second wife has a house to herself, but the second wife because of the children, the house is becoming small for them, and he wants to divorce her so that he can let the house. Now in that case, what does she do? Don't divorce me, put me in a smaller house, I'll compromise on that. Just don't divorce me. But otherwise, if he was to be unjust between the two wives, that he's giving more to one, and giving less to the other one is that sinful on his part, it is sinful on his part.
But in this case, one wife is willingly compromising.
And remember, that over here, this is usefully have both of them mutually do so.
Meaning that the woman, she must agree, she cannot be forced, if she does not agree, and that is not. So
if she says that, no, I still want 1000. She says, No, I'm not going to compromise on my rights, you still have to come and see me every day, you still have to do this, you still have to do that. I'm not going to compromise on any of my rights. So she has a right to say that she's not being forced to do this, this is just a suggestion, there is no sin. If you want to try this in order to maintain your marriage do it. So the woman has to agree. And if she does not, then the husband either has to give her all of her rights, or he's going to decide to divorce.
So find out you know, how are they human and usually have been a human soul. What does Allah say, was solid.
And the reconciliation, this is much better, it is much better, much better than what much better than new shoes, much better than Iran. Much better than what for the divorce. It's much better than that was sort of high. And notice it has been said was sort of high Iran, it hasn't been said was Soho Loma, high Iran, that sort of for them to is better. No, this is genuine, that soul in every situation in every case in every scenario, compromise is always better.
Sometimes we want our rights, why? Because Allah has given them to us. And we demand those rights from the other person.
But the other person is not giving now one is that you keep fighting, you keep fighting, and which will lead to sinfulness, which will lead to more disobedience to a loss of penalty and the other is that you compromise it. Okay, nevermind. Okay, Allah will give me the edge of Allah will compensate this loss for me, this is much better coming to peaceful terms. This is much better than not coming to peaceful terms.
What we like to enforce OSHA
and the souls they have been presented or ever is present in the soul. What a show greed.
What does anybody have a lot of feathers? How Barbara has a lot of herbal What does it mean to be present somewhere? So literate? meaning it has been presented? It has been brought.
It has been set, it has been supplied, meaning it's there.
What is there a short
show? Where is it? In the heart of the person in the heart of the person in the soul of the person?
Meaning the souls are ever in its presence. They're never absent from shore.
The souls are always in the presence of shore, never are they absent from shore. So basically, show is like a permanent state of the heart in a way sure is like the permanent state of the heart. A person is always ensure
What is your
show is from nutrition Haha, until his vocal stinginess.
But what kind of stinginess that is coupled with, has greed.
So a person is stingy, that he doesn't want apart from anything. And at the same time, he's very greedy that he wants more.
He's now going to give a penny and he's greedy for every penny. He doesn't want to give anything and he wants everything. This is what is helps as well as
and what is before that, where a person must give where a person must spend. He doesn't spend and what is his that it is not the person's health but he still demands it. He still wants it. It is not his right. But still he wants it and
It is said that sure, is such stinginess in which there is greed. And it has become a habit of a person. It has become a habit of a person. So it is such selfishness in which a person is greedy, stingy. And it's a habit of a person.
So we'll definitely have an unpleasant shock. What does it mean? that every person, what does he have in his heart? Sure.
Which is why the woman, she would scarcely allow her husband to deprive her of her rights. Or she would rarely compromise on her rights,
that she is not fulfilling the rights of the husband. And at the same time, she wants the husband to fulfill. All right. So in a way, she's being stingy. And at the same time she's being hurries.
Similarly, the husband, he is not fulfilling the rights of the wife. He's not being kind towards her. But still, what does he want? He wants all the benefits from her. And he wants to get rid of her. So he is being stingy. And he's also being greedy.
Also, the general sense, not just in the case of the husband and wife, generally, people demand their rights a lot. And rarely ever, do they focus on giving the other people's rights. Why? Because people are stingy.
And it's because of this stinginess, it's because of this show that people have a lot of difficulty with compromising some of the rights. This is why people have a lot of difficulty compromising some of the rights.
So for example, if there's someone who is living with their in laws in the same house, what is the problem generally, that the daughter in law wants to cook her way, and the mother in law wants to concur with the document law says it is my kitchen, and the mother in law says is my kitchen, the daughter in law says this is my husband, and the mother in law says this is my son. Nobody wants to give to the other. What is their health?
So it's not just between the husband and wife, it's an different different situations, that people have this problem of Sure, which is why they don't want to compromise. They want everything that they deserve, and they don't want to give to the other person, even if it's their health.
What interests you and if you do your son,
what is their son? If sign isn't there, a better of Allah? And what does that mean? uncharitably Allaha. And Nikita, who was a lambda con terranova in New York? So Epstein, isn't there a better of a law and your son is also in more ominous in dealing with the rebuttable law, with the servants of of law?
So we're interested to know if you do X, and what does it mean by that?
The address over here is to the men in particular, that if you are patient with the wife that you dislike, and still you treat her as otherwise, that you like, generally this problem is between a man who has multiple wives.
So they're being told the men are being told that if you do your son how, that despite the fact that you don't like her, despite the fact that she's a burden on you, despite the fact that she doesn't do what you want her to do. You like your other wife more than her? Still, if you do sub, and you treat her the way, wives are genuinely treated. interests, you know, this is a sign on your part, you don't like her but still you're showing goodness towards her. What the code and you fear a lot. What does it mean by this? You fear Allah concerning their hook, concerning their rights. And in dealing with the women. You fear a loss of penalty,
that you don't be unjust to it. You don't do anybody you don't do anything, no oppression, no injustice, with a taco.
For in the law, then Indeed Allah cannot be met Dharma Luna hubiera then he is ever of whatever you do, he is Habib, meaning he is fully aware.
Meaning then Allah knows what you do, and he will reward you for your suburb for your accent and for your taqwa perfectly. He is fully aware of your situation.
What do we learn from this ayah?
First of all, we learn from this ayah that both the husband and the wife, both the husband and the wife, they must strive to save their marriage. They must be interested, they must be concerned about saving their marriage about keeping their marriage, about maintaining their marriage.
Many times what happens that for example, the girl She doesn't care, it's her parents who are concerned.
Similarly, the husband he doesn't care, it's his parents who are concerned or it is his wife who is concerned. Over here, what do we learn that the husband should be concerned the wife should be concerned about? What about saving their marriage and they should try
Different things in order to save their marriage, even if it means compromising. Because if you look at the ayah, the wife has been taught to compromise. And at the same time, the husband has been told to compromise how the wife is going to compromise through so and the husband is going to compromise help with their son. So both need to compromise, both need to do something both need to sacrifice in order to make your marriage work. Because if it doesn't, it's going to affect them, it's going to affect the families and worse, it's going to affect the children.
We also learn from this if they have the husband and wife cannot get along with one another. They cannot give each other's rights, then there should be compromise on the part of both, especially the woman, especially the woman, there should be compromise on the part of the woman. Why? Because for the man, it's very easy for him to pronounce a divorce, he could choose a color and that's it finished. And if she angrezi Rasheed flares him up many times what happens men in their ego and their arrogance, they don't care about what the consequences are going to be. And the women sometimes when they're overcome by emotion, they don't care about the consequences.
So here, the woman is being told that she should compromise why, because her compromise is going to lead to greater good.
We also learn from this idea that the solution to problems is not getting rid of what you don't like getting rid of what you disagree with getting rid of what you find difficult. But the solution isn't accepting the problem, accepting the problem and dealing with it.
Because here, the simple solution could have been given for the woman should take hold, the woman should get divorced from the husband. That's a very easy solution, isn't it? Very simple. You don't like someone fire them. You don't like a friend. Don't speak to them. Simple, easy, but it is not going to solve the problem.
What is going to solve the problem
that you accept the situation as it is. And then you see as to what you should do what you can do what you should leave, there is a solution.
And remember that life is going to be full of tests. If you don't accept one test, another more difficult test is going to be sent your way.
if you don't accept the test that Allah sent your way, you don't deal with it in the way that a loss of handguard approves up, then what's going to happen, it's possible that you're going to be given a test that is much more difficult, much more hard. So Islam isn't what accepting the difficulty. And nobody's perfect. So you have to accept the weaknesses of the other people.
We also learn that in every situation, in every situation sort of is better. compromise is better. In every situation, compromise is better compromise and what in your rights, why, in order to mend relations in order to maintain them, although compromise is much more difficult.
So we see that in the rights of zoji in the rights of marriage.
Similarly, in the rights of mama dealing with other people in the rights of other relatives, what is better compromise.
Like, for example, you don't get along with your sister, you don't get along with your sister, you share the bedroom with her. You don't like the way that she makes the bed. You don't like the way that she puts her bag, on the floor or on the desk.
Now one is that you argue every single day. Why do you do this? Why do you do this? Why do you do this? Is it going to change? Is it going to change things? No. Because sometimes you cannot change people's habits. No matter how much you tell them, no matter how much you stop them, you cannot change their habits. So it is better, that you fight with them every day, you have an argument with them every day. Or you just accept the fact that Oh, they're always going to put their bag over there.
I will compromise and I will put their bag from the floor to the place where it should go.
They're never going to make their bed. So when I get up in the morning because it bothers me I'm going to make the bed. You have to compromise. Why? Why do you have to compromise?
Because how can you live in an environment that is full of arguments and fights? Can you live peacefully? You can not. And your heart will always be burning with fire literally. You will see the Vikings would be like oh my god, what's wrong with her? You will shout at us. He never listens to me. And it sees littler nations and siblings or fights over friends or fights over where if you compromise and say they're never gonna listen, it's okay. I'll just do it myself. They're not going to do the dishes. It's okay. I'll just do it myself. You're compromising on your rights. They're not doing what they're supposed to do.
Which means that you have to compromise. So you are being the upper hand, you are giving sadaqa. And the upper hand is better than the lower hand
mantle. Well, Darla refer, we think that when we're compromising, we are humiliating ourselves. But in fact, what are we doing? We are going higher in the sight of almost.
Similarly, there's an argument between two people, if there's a fight between two people, and one is really under hock, it is is right. But what does he do? He gives up his right, in order to end the argument.
And what's the reward for this person? A house in
a house engine.
So you think that you are giving up your right giving up some of your money, and you are going to have less? What does Allah promise you? A house property, real estate? I mean, what is that compared to a few $100. So compromise in every situation, in every single situation, it is better. Because if you don't compromise, it's going to lead to fight, it's going to lead to arguments, it's going to take the piece away, and you're not going to be able to focus on your work, you're not going to be able to do what you're supposed to do.
Similarly, if you're sitting in the classroom, the person sitting next to you is moving a lot. No one is at the wall and you thinking, oh my god, I'm never going to sit with this person again. And what's wrong with them? Are you going to be able to focus in class? No.
And if you're like, no matter what they do, I don't care. I'm just focusing on my juice. Isn't that going to be better? Yes, I remember that. Once there was this event in which everybody was giving advice to the person who's getting married. And one of the sisters, she said, marriage is about compromise, especially on the part of the woman you have to compromise. If you don't, your marriage is not going to work.
Like for example, you have to do the laundry. Every time you go to the washroom, it's possible that the sink is wet and the whole counter is wet. You see all the water other people don't see it, you have to compromise and if you pick a fight on just the counter is wet. Is it really worth it? It's not why did you not put the plates away? Is it really worth having an argument and ruining your relationship? It's not a son who plays sort of is always better compromise is always better,
because it leads to goodness in this dunya and also reward in the film.
We also learn from this is a very, very important lesson
that in doing Riba in worshiping a loss of control because your son is in worship, as well as it isn't giving the hoopoe of people.
So in doing better in worshiping Allah subhanaw taala and also in dealing with people, what should a person do their son, meaning try to give more than what the other person deserves?
And keep away from injustice. And who should you fear? Allah subhanaw taala with regards to that,
the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, He who wishes that he should be distanced and saved from the fire. He who wishes and user has a heart and enough that he should be saved from the fire
and is admitted into paradise. Then his death should come to him why he believes in Allah and the Last Day What is that? Your son in
law, and he should do to people as he would like to be treated. This is what your sign in more armella with regard to the law.
So what is the key to success that a person does your son in Nevada, as well as in Wyoming?
Many times we focus only on one and we ignore the other, but both are necessary.
We listen to the recitation as
Bhima Luna hobby.
If you notice the end of the ayah that we're interested in with a taco
Sometimes when we're doing a sign on the other person, it's very difficult, isn't it? When we have to compromise it's very difficult.
Similarly, we have the ability to be unjust towards them. When we fear Allah, I can shout at them, but I'm not going to. I can yell at them but I'm not going to. So excited and of course they're very difficult. What does Allah say? I was watching. Allah is aware. And notice hubby has mentioned not early. What does Habib mean? That one who is aware of the law and abundantly. He knows how much you have to struggle. He knows how much you have to struggle, what you're going through in your heart and what you're feeling and what you're doing is fully aware of desired and about him. So if he is aware, if he's watching, don't you have trust upon him that he will reward you for your service. So
trust upon him, rely upon Him and He will make the situation better.