Repairing Relationships

Suleiman Hani


Channel: Suleiman Hani

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Salam alaikum warahmatullah

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah. While early he was so happy he woman Werder, we asked Allah subhanaw taala to put Baraka in this gathering and to accept from everyone who attended and everyone who facilitated Allahumma, Amin. Before we begin, I'd like you to do something very quickly, please, for those of you who have smartphones, please take out your smartphone, if it's not already out. And you're not already playing games.

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We're still on lecture number two.

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I'd like you to do two things very quickly, please. And I'll do this as well. And shoulder. I'd like you to text a loved one who is not here. I know I do this often. And there is a point behind this text someone who is not here very brief text, such as I love you, or I appreciate you.

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Someone who is not here

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and then put your phone on silent and put it away.

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Because in many cases, they'll start calling and wondering if you're okay.

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Especially if you don't say that enough.

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We'll give you another 10 seconds and show them also text a loved one who is not here. I appreciate you I love you something kind put your phone on silence please and then put it away.

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And Buhari reports from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, a description of a waiting place for the people of Jannah before they enter Jannah

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the bridge in which the people of Paradise will be waiting before they enter paradise contado and they're at this waiting place or bridge, they will be settling their disputes. So anyone who's wronged another believer will not be able to enter paradise until that matter has been resolved.

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And what's interesting about this is that the Command of Allah subhanaw taala and the beginning of solitude and fun for tabula rasa who that are benei come fear Allah subhanaw taala be conscious of Allah subhana wa Tada and men what there is between you rectify what there is between you and the tough seat of Ibn cathedra there is an interesting reports attributed to Al Hakim, although most scholars say this following report is gone if there is a lesson to take from it, and it mentions two people who will be entering Jana, at this waiting place, one of them will say Oh Allah, so when so has wronged me and I want a share of his good deeds.

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This could have been your insult to a person, this could have been a broken promise a rights that was violated.

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And you will not enter paradise until these matters have been resolved.

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And in this same report, Allah subhanaw taala asks, this asks this man who is requesting his rights, would it please you if you were to have this palace of Jannah and the man looks and he says, Oh Allah, it pleases me and I have forgiven my brother. At the end of this report. It is attributed to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he said the same words from Surah 12 and Fern, Fatah Kula were asleep who that obey nickel, fear Allah subhana wa Tada and mend your relationships mend what there is between you don't wait. In other words until the Day of Judgment, until your hopes are high, you've crossed over a slight halt. You've crossed over hellfire, you're about to enter Jannah

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and then you have all of these people that you've wronged, lined up waiting to take the rights from you. Don't put yourself in that position.

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And don't allow all of your good deeds, everything you're working for in this life to be taken because there's no other currency on the Day of Judgment. There is no other way to pay someone back, except through your good deeds.

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Don't wait until then to seek forgiveness from the people you've wronged. And if someone has wronged you, don't wait until then until you can visually see paradise for you to forgive. For the reward now as many scholars say is much greater than then than waiting until the bridge of contoura

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Allah subhanaw taala in Surah took off I have 43

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He describes what happens once people enter Jannah May Allah subhanho wa Taala make all of us and our loved ones amongst the people of paradise say I mean

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he mentioned Subhanahu wa Taala when Czarna mafia sole duty he mean lineage to Gd mu T Hema.

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And we have removed from their hearts, the people of Jana, any resentment, any enmity, any problems they have any ill assumptions, any jealousy and envy. But Allah subhanaw taala does not stop there. And if you are reciting, and you've memorized Surah, to an hour off, you know that it's not a place where you stop. There is a link between this first part and the second part, touching him into it, he will and her

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flowing beneath them are rivers, the rivers of paradise. The question is, why does Allah tell us that the people of paradise, their hearts are purified, there is nothing impure in Jannah, there is no such thing as looking at someone in Jannah. And saying, I remember when you hurt me, and I still carry those feelings. There is no such thing as having envy in paradise. So why does Allah link the purification of the hearts of paradise to something such as the rivers of Jannah.

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And if you look into some of the books of Tafseer, you will find, interestingly, that the concept of rivers in general and the concept of water in general is to purify.

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But if you think a little further, we realize and we can back this up within Hadith, we realize that the key to the reward of the purification of Jannah the key to have that reward of Jannah, the most pure place that we could possibly end up in is to purify ourselves in this life, to purify our hearts in this world, whether through the facets of relationships, or purifying our hearts from pride or arrogance. And we ask Allah to purify our hearts.

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What's interesting about this is that there is a story we know an authentic report found in Muslims that most of us have heard many times. And to summarize and paraphrase and sort of the Allahu Anhu reports that as they were sitting with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to summarize and paraphrase, the Prophet informed them sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about a man of paradise who would enter the Masjid. An old man enters, they don't recognize this man very well, the other companions. And on day two, the Prophet sallallahu ala you send them says the same thing and this man walks through. On day three, the same thing happens and finally one of the companions, a young companion,

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or something, Allahu Allah.

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He wants to find out, what is this man doing? For him to be considered a man of paradise. So he goes to the man he comes up with a reason for the man to invite him over for three days and three nights. And as he remains he's watching carefully observing what is this guy doing for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to describe him as a man of Jannah so that we can copy him so that we can do what he's doing.

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He says I've observed him day and night did not see anything special. I observed him he did not pray to Yama, Laila all night. There was nothing extraordinary about this man, visibly speaking.

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And as he's leaving on the third day, he finally admits to the man why he was there. He informs him about what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, and the man initially has no clue, no idea why he would be considered a man of Jannah look at his humility. And then he says, But there is one thing

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and in one of the reports of Imam Muslim, there is one thing what is it? He says before he sleeps, he would empty his heart of any vices ill grudges, envy and thoughts, specifically in one of the reports have said towards the believers, and he would not cheat the believers he was honest with others.

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The key to the reward of the purification of Paradise is to purify our hearts in this life, while our hearts are still beating, not waiting for calamity to strike. Not waiting for someone to die for us to say I wish I wish we had made up before they passed away. A very common sentiment at many Genesis many funerals. Don't wait until it's too late. As long as your heart is beating, take every opportunity to mend between you and others. For taco Allahu wa Sneha without a beanie can be conscious of Allah and rectify what is between you and other people.

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One of the interesting ideas and links in our faith between us and the creator

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In the US and the creation

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is the idea and this is the crux of today's reminder in sha Allah, the idea that your relationship with people should be an extension and a reflection of your relationship with Allah. And we have so many examples in the Quran and the Sunnah as well.

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Your relationship with people should reflect how you want to be treated by Allah. Treat people the way you want Allah to treat you, and he will treat you better.

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Do unto others what you wish for Allah to do to you, and Allah will give you much more.

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What are some of the examples that we have, we can actually go through 10 examples very quickly. The first, the famous hadith is a humble man, fill out the humble command for Sama, be merciful to those who are on the earth and the one above the heavens will be merciful to you. Your relationship with people is a reflection of your relationship with Allah. Number two we hear often at fundraisers and this is not a fundraiser as far as I know. Allahu Allah, the famous Hadith, pudsey and filthy Abner Adam onfield are they spend in charity or some of them, and I am lost speaking I will spend on you. Again a relationship, a link between the creation and the Creator. The way you spend on people in

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charity know that Allah will spend even more on you. Number three, is the idea of concealing faults, conceal the faults of your brothers and your sisters and Allah will conceal your faults in this life and in the next life. Number four is the concept of alleviating the hardships of your brothers and your sisters all around the world, knowing that Allah will alleviate your hardships. Number five be in the service of other people, along with the Ionian McConnell Abdullah onea a fee, be in the service of others and Allah will be in your service. And when we say Allah will do the same for you, we know we know there's no doubt that it's not an equal transaction. It's not at the same level,

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Allah will give you so much more than that so much more of what you've done of efforts or time or charity.

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Number six, pardon and forgive others. Allah subhanaw taala mentions in Surah 10 Rule one er fu one yes, follow Allah to pit buena and yellowfin Allahu Allah come. Let them part in and forgive. Don't you want Allah to forgive you? Don't we want Allah to forgive us every time we seek repentance? No doubt we do. And at times, we expect Allah to forgive us quickly, and we move on. But when someone wrongs us, we hold a grudge. And even when we say I have forgiven this person, we continue to remind them that we have forgiven them. I've kind of forgiven you. But don't forget what you did. That's not forgiveness. That's not complete. If you wish for Allah to forgive you and be quick and

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encompassing with his mercy towards you, then do the same to the creation of Allah subhanho wa taala. Number seven, is the summarizing and the paraphrasing of the Hadith regarding the man on the Day of Judgment, who is questioned by Allah? Why did you not feed me when I was hungry? Why did not give me water when I was thirsty? Why did you not visit when I was sick? And the man is confused how can I do these things? Yeah, Allah you are Allah you do not get sick, you do not need food. And it is symbolic Allah subhanaw taala response what is paraphrased as you knew my servants, so and so was sick, but you did not visit, you know, so and so was hungry, but you did not feed them. You knew so

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and so needed water, but you did not quench their thirst, be in the service of others and Allah subhanho wa Taala will be there for you. Number eight, is the idea of cutting people off, which has, by the way, statistically, in sociology and psychology has increased and it's continuing to increase. And this is due to the nature of an individualistic society, people cutting off their own family, their own friends, their brothers and their sisters. As if it's a casual manner as if it's okay, as if it's normal. We're not talking about exceptional cases, we're talking about the norm. It is not a normal standard for us to cut people off. It is not the norm. And so this is why we know

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that the one who cuts off the relatives Allah will cut you off, this is from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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Number nine is thanking other people. Whoever does not thank others does not thank Allah subhana wa tahona again links between the creation and the creator.

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And number 10.

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When you see oppression and you see a hardship locally or globally, for there are many causes to address. If you do not feel anything in your heart of pain, or sympathy for your brothers and your sisters who are suffering right now and constant

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Please, then there is a problem in our understanding of faith. There is a problem in our understanding of humanity, there is a problem in our understanding of compassion and mercy. When many of us are completely oblivious about the problems affecting perhaps more than 3 million Muslims in East Turkestan, under the Republic of China, 3 million Muslims in concentration camps, we look back at history and we wonder how people were silent. How people did not say anything. And the reality is don't wonder about the past because we are doing the same thing now. We see people being oppressed and we don't think twice, because we've become desensitized. What if it was you? Would you

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not want the world to stand up for you? Would you not want someone to advocate for you? Would you not want people to raise awareness on your behalf?

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The reality is those who are aware know how much of an atrocity This matter is, whether it is in the east or the west, whether it's in Yemen or Syria or to East Turkistan. Or even here in North America, people are suffering, the least you can do, the least you can do in your relationship with Allah subhana wa Tada is to raise awareness about these matters and to make dua for them. That is the least we should be doing.

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Treat others the way you want to be treated by Allah. Stand up for others the way you want to be protected by Allah,

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and advocate for these causes, because they are in need of every single collective voice. And every one of us has a role to play. Don't say this does not concern me. Because if you're part of this race, the human race and you are part of this ummah of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, then it's a responsibility upon you to care. And it's a part of your iman to care. And it's a part of your reflection in your relationship with Allah to care about the creation of Allah subhanahu wa taala. And if you wonder if this is the reality, look to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam who was concerned for everyone in society, your relationship with people is a reflection of your

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relationship with Allah subhanho wa taala.

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Additionally, my dear brothers and sisters, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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and throughout the Quran, we see this as well specifies some rights that are of greater priority than others, such as your family, your parents, your husband, your wife, your children, your relatives, your neighbors, some people have greater rights upon us than others. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked with what were you sent? Meaning what is the crux the pinnacle of your message, as reported in Sahih, Muslim and the Prophet sallallahu, it was sent in response, I was sent by Allah to uphold the ties of kinship, the ties of family, the relatives, I was sent by Allah to uphold the ties of kinship, and towards the end of this report, and to proclaim the Oneness

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of Allah not associating any partners with him.

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Two things being mentioned as the pinnacle of the core of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam message, a telling me the reports that the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam informed us the best of you are those who are best to their families. The best of you are those who are best to their families. The best of you are those who are best to their families. May Allah subhanaw taala rectify our relationships with our families.

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When you look at the recent rise in mental health issues, one of the significant factors is the idea of the breakdown of the family structure. And we see this all around the world, especially in Western nations, the breakdown of the family structure, impacts adults and impacts you it affects people and actually contributes to a lot of mental health issues, especially in youth. These are based on a number of studies. And for us to contribute to that is problematic for us not to address this matter in our own lives and in our communities is problematic. A few years ago in Edmonton, in Canada, a brother came to the masjid for Salah to love him. And we had just concluded a talk on

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Bitcoin one evening,

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honoring one's parents. And he came up to me after prayer and he said I have to talk to you it's really urgent. He said I cut my parents off for a long time. I stopped talking to my parents. They wronged me. I didn't want to reach out I felt like I had to wait for my father to be first to reach out and then we just stopped communicating. years had passed by very quickly.

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He said I feel like Allah put me here tonight so that I would hear this reminder about the radio it didn't

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hearing from him later, masha Allah, He didn't just take that first step back towards his family, he made sure to make up for the time that you could not recover the time that was lost. The time that you have with your loved ones in this life is very valuable. Cherish it while you have it. People will wrong you people will hurt you people who disrespect you. But we look to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam as advice about the importance of relationships, the importance of always trying to deal with the problem rather than running away from it. Because in the individualistic secularists ideology, it's for us to run away because this is hurtful. This is painful. And we're not referring

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here to exceptional cases, we're not referring to ongoing abuse, we're referring to general relationships, there is no relationship in which people don't argue in which there is no conflict. The question is, how are you willing to deal with that conflict? What are you willing to do to commit to that relationship to make up for the shortcomings, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam informed us whoever would like for your provisions, your risk, to increase and for your life to be extended than upon you is to uphold the ties of kinship upon you is to uphold the ties of kinship. And in another report, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam clarified what it means the one who

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is talking with and dealing with their family and the relatives only when they deal with you only when they're communicating with you. This is not what we're referring to with upholding the ties of kinship, rather, upholding the ties of kinship, in the proper sense, is when they cut you off, and you continue, you continue to work hard at reconnecting, that is upholding the ties of kinship. In fact, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked by a man about his situation. He said, Yeah rasool Allah, I have relatives with whom I have been trying to keep in touch, but they caught me off.

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I have been kind and patient with them, but they insult me. I have been attempting to connect with them, but they verbally abused me.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, What is translated as if you are as you say, if you are, as you say, then it's as if you are putting hot dust into their mouth, meaning they are dealing with the consequences of their sins. And Allah will continue to support you, as long as you are upon what you say, mainly as long as you keep trying. Again, we're not referring to exceptional cases or ongoing abuse, we're referring to the normative standard. Knowing that your relative, your family, your spouse, your friend has a problem, but you are willing to take that step to rectify the relationship. That's what commitment is about. A brother in Michigan, mentioned to us a very sad

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about a man who basically came to the masjid in a similar scenario heard a reminder about family. And he went, he went home that night and called his mother, who was overseas. This brother had cut off his parents for 10 years. 10 years, cutting off your two keys to paradise 10 years you can never regain again, as acts of worship. When he called his mother, she started to cry.

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And as they started speaking, and it seemed like things were getting better.

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He asked about his father.

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And she said he passed away three years ago. May Allah have mercy on him.

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That's not something he can ever take back.

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That's not something he can ever regain. Don't allow your last words with others to be words of regrets. Because tomorrow is not guaranteed tonight is not guaranteed. This is not meant to sound gloomy. But we all know this is the reality of life. We have had our last conversations with many people already. You have said your last words to many people already. This is simply the reality of life. What we can take from it rather than making it gloomy is for us to always end things on a good note for us to always rectify for us to always commit to perfecting this relationship for Tapachula whilst living without a vehicle. Be conscious of Allah and rectify what there is between you don't

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disregard death don't disregard the Day of Judgment. Don't disregard a monk. Treat people you want the way Allah to treat you. Be grateful to others, even when they're not grateful to you. gratitude to Allah is to always be grateful for the people in your life, even if they are wrong to you. Even if they are wronging You we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us grateful.

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To summarize in a very practical way three different things in sha Allah number one,

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it's important for us all to exemplify both the intention

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And the action regardless of what the other party intends. So whether it's your friend, your family, your sibling, your parents, your spouse, you have the intention and you take the action and you initiate, even if they do not. This is you taking responsibility for your part you can say to Allah, Oh Allah, I did my part, I tried. Don't wait for other people for something you should care about in the sight of Allah. Number two.

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If you have a problem with someone and you're trying to make things better, don't text them about it. Don't text people about serious matters, let alone trying to deal with relationships. These phones we all know, especially if you're an iPhone user Alana Mastana, May Allah guide you to Android. These phones we know don't help when we're trying to rectify matters, they really don't. You see people and maybe yourself writing things online and through text you would never say in person, right? You can have a troll writing some of the dirtiest things online. You meet them in person and mashallah they're so quiet. What happened?

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Be careful, be careful, be careful. And number three and the last reminder in sha Allah, remember that we are all flawed human beings. We are all broken human beings in different ways. And we are trying throughout life, to mend our hearts to have Allah mend our hearts and in the process to try to mend the relationships in this world, to try to mend every relationship we have in this life. Remember this when people wronged you remember the good that they've done to you be grateful for all the previous good focus on their good traits as much as possible. Remember how often you've wronged others and make dua to Allah to guide them and to rectify that relationship rather than cutting off

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ties. That is not part of our tradition. It is not part of our faith. It is not a reflection of one sincerely with Allah subhanaw taala to others off, rather photog la wa Sneha that's a meaningful fear Allah subhanaw taala be mindful of Allah subhanho wa Taala and rectify what there is between you in this life before the next life. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to purify our hearts to forgive us for our sins. We ask Allah subhana wa Tada to help us repair our relationships and to mend between our hearts and we ask Allah subhana wa Taala to make us of those who are always being used for the guidance and blessings of others, while Salah whom Allah Muhammad wa he was talking big

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Marian was salam aleikum wa rahmatullah.