A Blissful Marriage

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Sulaiman Moola

Channel: Sulaiman Moola

Topics: Marriage

Episode Notes

Greenside

September 21, 2016

Episode Transcript

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umina shape on your Raji

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Mila here Oh, man you're rocking.

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Forming TV on the phone

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to

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the sea rune forum in the corner corner.

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coup in a

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coup in a

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rock

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in

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Ghana, in a coma ekomi

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amin de fondo Kusama all the wasp dealer. Sina t kumaun nico in

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Milan me Remi amin de

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la

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Riva TiVo

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in Nikita

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Nicole me.

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Amin de como el barco unisee luminous

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luminous.

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Yuma for up hill de moda in

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Omi

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teeny

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boo masama one oh boo boo,

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boom

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only

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one of whom

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you want

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to

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watch one one a one a

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two, one

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Toronto for the beautiful in app rendering of the vs Burton and what we'll be discussing tonight inshallah now gives me great honor. You know, there are times when doing into the introduction is actually a disservice to the person as we on this occasion. Obviously, my I would consider it amongst my greatest privileges and honors is to be a colleague, to my most respected and senior Manasa Baraka,

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Mr. Lawson, that the best of human beings are those who benefit humanity the most. And there is obviously no greater benefit than that which is of a spiritual nature, linking the creation of Allah tala to Allah subhanho wa Taala. And Allah is utilizing manana for this not just in our country, but literally internationally in all four corners of the world. I personally met many people from various countries who have mentioned the immense benefits that they have derived from manana Solomon's venerable advices so we have this honor, I consider it a great honor that Warren has blessed us with his presence despite his very heavy schedule to be with us. Senior star that Darren

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gnomes Acharya is Manasa mamula. Sub inshallah to render his advice

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Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen was Kali what was suddenly my alma mater Lila? alameen Nabina Muhammad Ali he was happy he won many Tata big he was he did

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Coca Cola gel Nevada kitabi Hill Macedo for Connie Hill Hamid our ministry Ponyo rajim Bismillah Ar Rahman AR Rahim one Taku acabo de taco Wollaton Seville Fabiola Bina come in habima number three sakalava lobby honorable scholars respected brothers elders and friends for any relation to give of maximum benefit. Both parties have to be governed by the fear of a law

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employer and employee if both are cognizant and aware of a lot, then that relation will prosper will generate benefit and will will mushroom will see fruition will see completion

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buyer and seller, the messenger sallallahu wasallam said, For in South Africa will be enough Boudicca Kumasi Bay Hema when they engage in in the transaction, the buyer and the seller are honest, transparent, candid, there is no delusion there's no deception, there's no distortion. Then Allah will bless that transaction to neighbors lattakia Ivana Java to Java, Tina shatin. To maintain relationship between two neighbors, nobody saw sunset, keep the action of giving gifts active. Even if it's a simple gift, Senate, the one receiving don't feel offended, don't feel insulted. Don't live by your data. You can send me a lousy sandwich. If you have a barbecue. That's okay. If you

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have an assumption scrumptious dish, then that's, that's reasonable. But you can't sell me a simple cake. No. Madison said do and give the one receiving don't feel offended. Now. Marriage is such a relationship, which is the basis of our life in the 28 Jews in the 65th chapter of the Quran, surah tala. It's only four pages. But in four pages, Allah interjects every discussion pertaining to Nika and the lock was fear me fear me, gift a lot like this if you have to, but fear me stay with harmony. But if there's a problem, fear me, furthermore do this. But if there's an issue, fear me, constant interjection in four pages five times, which is the loud, unequivocal message to men in

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principle, and to everyone, as a general rule, that the only way we can secure harmony in our marriage is by the fear of a lot. What

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a woman, a

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woman, a

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woman.

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He comes across, a pious man gave advice to someone, he said, marry your daughter to a man who feels a lot in

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Omaha, if things aren't going well, then then everything is fine. There's no issues. But if there is a glitch, and there is a snake and there is some bigger in which is bound to happen, by analogy I have given in many talks and I would say it again, because I believe it's relevant. It's contemporary, probably because I fly so my analogies are but more with aviation. The one brother told me some have an attitude problem, you got an altitude problem.

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The other day a brother told me say the way you traveling, you're going to end up being a Musashi at home.

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My analogy is as follows the best of aircrafts, the most modern of flights, a flight can hit turbulence mode at any time.

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And you don't get an early warning. You flying, you're cruising, 40,000 lovely, you relax, you flat bed, all these wonderful, suddenly the flight goes into turbulent mode. And this is the reality of it. You know, on a lighter side, the driver is holding his phone and he's driving away, the officer stops him. I've been monitoring you, you've been only in that phone of yours for 25 minutes. But an officer I was it was my wife, I was only listening.

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Obviously, I was engaging with my wife, it was only just staring at the phone booth. And there's a line. So there's a line behind you happy now when you're not saying the word I'm talking to my wife, Brother, you should know that by now.

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In a drama, if you love your wife, then all is fine. But it's bound to happen. And if this man has the fear of a lot, then even when things get ugly and unpleasant and this hostility, then the only thing that will prevent him from not exploiting and abusing this woman or vice versa is the fear of Allah is the fear of Allah otherwise, a man loses himself and it gets ugly, it gets personal it gets dirty it gets nasty. You throw out the linen in public now you go for the kill you go for the juggler, I will teach you the Quran says in the roofing out the story from the love words harmony or release with dignity there's no third option.

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You would be amazed how much there was in the life of the messenger sallallahu wasallam in terms of human banter, lightheartedness, oneness, affection and praise, which today we want, we want something to spice up something different, something amazing. We need something to tickle our fantasy. I want to feel young again. I want to have the tingle in my tummy. I want to have all these kinds of things because that's what we exposed to. But when you look at the life of navionics column and before I move on, let me just tell you something very amazing, which I read of mostly 30 years money happy with a whole lot. He said

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Islam surely prohibits us to attach ourselves to this mundane world, to the transitory things of this world. But we need to make a clear distinction, that taking active measures to love your spouse is part of accurate and not this world. So don't get too attached to your car, don't get too attached to your birthday. Don't get too attached to your hobbies and your inclinations and the rest of it. But getting attached to your spouse is part of alphabet and not dystonia is not like a brother, you need to think of Stop being so so kind to your wife. No, no, no, that that's that is strange. A man loses his wife. And then

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if he doesn't go to back, go back to work. Then you say, you know, I can understand why you understand you lost your spouse, you lost someone, but the Wheel of Life has to turn on you got to get up you got to get back on your feet and move on. Life has to get you on get back into shock. We emphasize we sample sympathize with you. But if a man gets married soon after the demise of his wife, how unfaithful. How strange, probably, I don't know he might be thinking even when his wife was alive. These are the kinds of rumors the Quran says the Quran says I just want to put things into perspective regarding because the topic is marriage, that when a woman is in a

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listen to this, because seldom probably we discuss it, but let's understand it objectively. When a woman is in a fight, whether she was divorced or she was widowed, then there's no harm on you men to make a hint to her and insinuation that you know buyer, someone that probably after Nika after your event is over, I doubt you will be alone for long. I thought you will be alone for long, I'm sure there will be many that would be interested reference in himself. While Arjuna had a FEMA out to be he will put that in. I condemn fee and forsaken alima love

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to do that Islam believes marriage is an institution that will continue till the day of the AMA. And I often say my brother in this volatile world of ours in this daunting world of ours in this demanding wave of hours. If there's one thing that can energize us adequately to become resilient to challenges outside, it's a healthy marriage.

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So we offer the most to our marriage because that boosts us, I come home to a good home, but not have a luxury apartment. But I have a home I have a home. I have a spouse, I have children. This this this activity, this loyalty, this fidelity, this transparency, someone said we live in a strange world. We can be intimate with our spouses, but we don't touch one another.

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We can be intimate and I'm being modest here. I'm being modest here and euphemistic, I don't want to be explicit and categorical. We can be you know, very intimate. And that's what marriage is all about. What are you between has been that they wouldn't know that he know that there's no restrictions and that is the beauty. The messenger sallallahu Sallam said it's so beautiful and just look at the teachings and the pragmatic nature of our faith all embracing nature of our faith. He said a lot he was seldom said was the blueberry aka decom soda. And when you consummate with your spouse, then for that time you engage in in charity. And the Sahaba said, but but but how is that

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I'm indulging in my last I'm satisfying my desires. How do you elevate that to an act of piety? And the proper President gave the most amazing analogy. He said, If you will have to satisfy your need elsewhere in an unlawful illegitimate illicit relationship. Would that not equate to a sin and a bite and a transgression and an offense? Obviously, I want to be salatu salam, then by the same definition, if you satisfied in the correct place, should it not be an act of virtue and we bought it?

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A person had some issues, and he did some wrong he went to a pious person. So the pious person said, you want to make Toba, go feed your wife go feeder is no I mean, I want to make about it. I don't want to go potty and you know, I have fun. He said make everybody go home, set your wife down. And you know, as they say in English, the word depressed. If you spell it the way back then it means dessert, or stress. You said it the other way too. When you stress you must have a dessert. So do they say sit with your spouse and give her a meal? He said how is that an act of

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sitting with your spouse and feed in a meal is an act of sadaqa. Now the challenge in our society is we think this act of sadaqa is only for the newlyweds and not for the nearly dead

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it's an act of soccer for every one, the newly wet or the nearly dead. Keep the active youngster

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I got married. So we want to eat together now. Is there any particular dish due to icafe that she prefers? Do we use this brother eat together man relaxed Oh, however, and then comes the time we don't eat on the same plate we don't eat at the same time we don't eat in the same room. We don't eat in the same kitchen. We have no issues at home. So then why don't you sleep together? I know we should. But honestly, when we sleep separate, we sleep better. I know we should be doing that. But when we sleep separate, we sleep better. And that has become the norm. It's just like, you know, what's the challenge? I speak and I say this year with with guilt. Unfortunately, bad habit. May

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Allah guide me, you using your phone while you're driving. And you dial in and you say this is a bad habit. And when you just rotate your gaze the other guy next to me is texting so it's no I'm not that bad, man. I'm not that bad, man. This guy's typing a message. So okay, a call. You know, we can get through it. This is how life has become for many people. There's no active relationship. There's no harmony, there's no peace. There's no Mahabharat and when I look around now my friends are like this. He's like this, they are like this. It's okay. That's it. That's all life is. We just let it move on. No, no, my brother. This is not the way it has to be.

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The messenger sallallahu wasallam would do so many things in his relationship. And every day was a day filled with excitement. Every day was a day filled with with with moderate, balanced recreation. Now look at these teachings of habibollah ism.

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We would sit together and eat. Then after drinking when I would consume and eat after I drunk from a vessel Canada yet.

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Nobody

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would consciously observe the precise location where I would place my lips. And just to impress me, he would select that very same side of the glass and put his blasted lips there and drink ganaraska

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when he would enter home, he would start miswak these things might be trivial. But the absence or the admission of these fundamental practices have catastrophic consequences in our homes. oral hygiene is of vital importance. It's of intelligible importance. When you want to be intimate, you want to be close, you obviously want to have a beautiful aroma. You obviously want to be in a manner that gives off good pleasure. After like a bust the father of the series says

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Raja I'm very particular that my wife attires ourselves well for me, and I make no less an attempt to attire myself well for my wife. I make no less an attempt to attire myself well for my spouse. Ironically, we dress the best when we separate.

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Ironically, we dress the best when he's going this way she's going that way. And then then we will latch on to the howdy are you dressed so well. And already in today's time the wife mind starts running. We're not saying cast aspersions and entertain doubt but suddenly the shades are on the shoes are shining. The test is well everything matching usually going to a friend. Yeah friend. I'm going to China for business, not your business.

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Business what business not your business, infidelity, promiscuity has paralyzed Oh my brother, it is proper. If you are living a life of sin and you are living a life of bias my brother, your brightest moment will be diluted and will be compromised what unexplainable sadness This is the the inevitable price you will pay. Pay often that is it. And if you live a life of of loyalty and fidelity and honesty, even your moments will have a glimmer of hope joy and excitement in it

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would Garner yep that would be swag, he would then apply the use the miswak submit your opinion

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then he would give me the miswak and he said I just watched it and come at the so what then are used to use the miswak myself die back now obviously isn't available lies the paragon of Allah creation. So there is that sense of the Baroque and blessedness but nonetheless we can also do it between husband and wife because this is between the messenger sallallahu wasallam and his spouse he would then pass the miswak on I suggest watch this and I would insist on first using it then washing it I shall wash it and I'm no no we will I'm going to first put it in my mouth.

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Allah Avi me at the Bihar what can be resetting it ha

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ha ha

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ha

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food

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will be returned who will sell them?

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a mohawk This speaks volumes

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On the intellect of our mother, our shadow the alarm on her, that she exploited the moment to optimum so that she can derive optimum benefit, direct transmission from the blessings saliva of the messenger, sallAllahu wasallam in her mouth. And can you imagine that on the other side of the Ghana, then in compliance to the prophetic dictate, she would run through miswak and pass it on, but it doesn't end there. It's that type of the man when I'm having my cycle. When I'm having my cycle, how many a woman would complain a man is just driven by lust when I'm in that period of time, or I'm having my hormonal changes or whatever it is, he's aloof he's he's withdrawn from me can

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take up injury what an aha for you.

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Not

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only am I mean Hahaha, Joseph para

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mas de jan de moda and Natasha. Look at all the scholars deduce. Then we have Allah. He needs to read his plan and that's what he loved and he would recite on and when he would read Quran, you cannot possibly describe the Beyonds and that, you know, culmination of spirituality. The Hadith in Bukhari in the first volume paid one double five of the love in Rwanda the Amanda says, what we are also here to look at is an shakaama arrow from mean alpha Jerry saffiano. On alhuda Amma Saku buena be moved

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to Joby to your Jaffe

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Hiroshi

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connectability mushrikeen Alma bajo This is Opie four How can I sum up or summarize the profile and the honor we enjoyed by the presence of Muhammad's awesome amongst us well, Mo n fi comm Rasul Allah 26 do sudo do not understand your privilege that Mohammed doesn't is within your ends

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a lot yet to Nikita reciting the Quran. When is the flesh of dawn the crack of dawn in the presence of the Kaaba in the Arab novel within the galaxy of Sahaba? Can he get more great? So then the viola generation is in Muslim I would be going through that cycle of my month then to be open I would often say Isha I'm going to be reading Quran with my head in your lap.

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I'm going to read my way I'm reading it Okay, I'm setting can you imagine this year this is the beauty we talk of romantic embrace you know that this guy is holding his wife like you know what, brother now you but age and everything he says no, first it was for economic first for romantic reasons, nights for economic reasons, if I let go shops

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so I used to haul all along, you know, this is from from my childhood memories, you know, I had this childhood fantasy. So we have to always, you know, so first it was for romantic reasons. Now, it's for economic and some might say is for self defense, also.

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Self Defense also, but we live in, in a sick world, my brother, I'm inundated, and I'm sure my honourable colleague does a great job and he's inundated with much more. Every single day my heart cries I read this, what's happening to the young elderly, but you will get two things simple, trivial, you know, just digest the idea that I decided okay, let me just mention one two things and I'll come to this year.

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So I

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would do this that Ito Muslim Sharif, can

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you talk below the Nisa he was fired him from metabox.

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I said, Can I tell you something when then a viola would be observing his past, despite the fact that he was fasting. He used to be very particular to make sure that he kissed one of these five wives although he was observing the past. And then she used to give this grin and this chuckle and this blush, and this modesty, which always obvious was a reference that it was me.

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Sometimes, you know, some people heated at high level of piety. No, no, no, no, no, no.

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Yeah, okay. Okay. Right. Now he's

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completely. He's on another level, strike the balance and look at the life of Muhammad and he's observing as I said, the Amana says he would come in and hop in the bed.

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To who I'm speaking about that aspect, time is very short. Today it's all about spicing up. We need a bit of flavor candlelight, dim the lights nice and beyonds gives our home values off we need to we need to we need to spice it excited stimulated. These are the kinds of things read these glossy magazines go online go to this workshop do this do that there was so much active flavor in the life of no visa lottery was filmed.

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To avoid monotony and to keep excitement going, whereas he was the greatest creation, there was no question of monotony, there was no question of monotony. But it's just that we've lost the focus. And then we go in with our begging bowls to look this and look this one year. And then we you know what we should my wife does like this talk like this works like this does things like this? Yeah. Obviously, I was giving a talk the other day, if it is to my sister, I'm talking and probably she's listening on the receiver. I would say to you, my sister, when your husband comes home, make him a key. Make him a king. This is what a man loves. created him. You can't be coming out of your kitchen

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at that time. And there's onions and cigar and you know, No, man, it's not on. It's not on the way outside there is promiscuous. People are throwing glances and smiles and seductive advancements, I need to come home, you could be at my front door for me, my my sister, my wife, you got to be charming, you've got to be all dressed up. And I promise you in all this, that you do, there is immense reward for you. So there'll be a lot of benefit, innovation is in the same. So there'll be a lot of dresses up for the occasion. It's a you know what, my wife she dresses to kill. And she cooks the same way.

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Not my wife, I'm just quoting here, because my wife will hear this lecture

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is all dressed up.

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Wow, I

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feel a bit left out. She's really dressed up. She's looking cool. And she's the eldest of the spouses. Nobody's asked him whether they have first posts the demands of the olana. And soon they updated it sort of the amount.

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Now they're feeling a bit awkward. No, but this is not on me just look at how she's dressed. She's really dress.

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So I shouldn't have started the Alanna had a bit of a word among themselves to say that obviously the nanny has been,

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you know, you say we have in the time family leave the social life of mom. It's awesome. That is why I often say, look at these words, then Have you ever lost

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that image with

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that image?

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I marvel at this client this attribute but then which attribute of mine it is not profound. The messenger salani was sent him was a man with perpetual grief, but the permanent smile.

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A lot of time digested. Just just plain absorbed. I'm having a bad day. I'm having a rough day. Things are not going good for me. I snap my child, I ignore my neighbor. I shun my spouse, I rebuke my employee. Minor B is permanently in grief. For reasons we justify grieve the crisis of the oma but he doesn't deny his full smile, leave alone his spouse.

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He doesn't deny his phone. Where's the balance in my life?

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What was

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the best code that there was this firm and then smile when you come home? That's the time you can smile. If you try and buy later, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. You're hungry. You want to eat now the food comes out later. The essence is gone. That's the moment because it's the reunion the child is coming out to receive you. Hopefully the wife is there. It's a meeting. It's a reunion. It's a bit of an excitement.

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So anyway, so the Alanna said oh, we're going to now disrupt her dress. We're going to disrupt the beauty and adornment and cosmetics. So she arrives I shine I'm sorry Ilana okay wow Mashallah you well dressed necessary. But by the way you need to know that jollies out I don't know where you get time to dress up

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a mohawk but this is happening in the house of Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam and then my young man is still looking for flavor elsewhere something to tickle and stimulate him and excited

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this person I was reading things were bad rocky turbulent tells his mum things are bad. And then she says what's the way forward? He says no last night we had a bit of a flavor of the first night returning What is it? We were eating and then my husband just holds the shell towards me you know that plane and that early day those young days where I feed you you feed me the plan describes Jenna yet and as that moon

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Sun Moon field one that theme that engender part of the excitement and the happiness and the buzz and the ambience. They will be snatching the vessel from one another is just playing the night preceding the wedding. This is buzzing this excitement. But obviously there's measures and boundaries we don't overstep the thing. I'm saying within reason legitimate activities to keep the relation active was found in the life of Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam

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So they say that john is out. So have started the Atlanta tax amnesty and she's like, okay, okay. And she runs so they say there's a there's a there's a Aliki bilheimer there's a 10 that probably you can hide yourself. And this 10th was not really well maintained. It was haunted deserted. So in the CGL and kabu there was some spider webs there, there was some eggs that were laid and everything and she, you know, just sits there, and she's trembling. And you can have sort of a Lana having a full burst laughter they're having a full burst laughter and they go in with one another. Allahu Akbar. Allah sent over Habib sallallahu Sallam is a perfect human complete. There's no area in his

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life that was not completed or perfected. Now we are a salon makes his blessing presence. He observes

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Ayesha laughter What's this all about? What's this? You know, come on. Probably the siblings are having the wife reasons. Yeah, but this is not the way you people can just walk in and then we blow our trumpet and then we blow our top and we lose our cool now I shall watch this no answer second time nothing

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for Obama the point probably on the way over like you just want to look that way and they get that Now this doesn't see so therapy alone and there's a big age disparity. I started the Atlanta the age disparity was great. So all of you whether you want to go there, get there

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after the Atlanta is trembling, what's the issue?

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is trembling also that what is the matter on the job? Our job is awesome said Ayesha so that no don't do that. Now. That will come then he's got his time. Where's the story said?

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I mentioned that we saw some come he smiles he just has light heartedness. He says with them all. No rebuking no just typing no reproach in lightheartedness, keeping the atmosphere light and active in going and so Bahama. The relationship between them was so amazing. I often say that we have digressed from the life of Sahaba so much that we grapple to digest it in theory, nevermind executed in practicality. We like Is this real? In the latter part, something had happened that does not spell it out. But maybe somebody was contemplating the possibility of divorce in sodaro the amount

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of a life passed on.

00:32:22--> 00:32:47

It only be able to live past the age of the need of a man. And I'm asking you please don't divorce me. Please don't divorce me. The honor of a husband and the honor of a woman is in nikka Lisa Madison said he is a pauper. He is the Popo who want to be the man who's single even if he's a multimillionaire. She's a pauper. She's alone. She's a loner. She's

00:32:49--> 00:32:56

the one who is single, even if she's wealthy. The verse of the Quran is for all embracing when

00:32:57--> 00:33:03

and when did those among you who are single a young is the plural of the word Am I living

00:33:04--> 00:33:56

with a previously married or not? Old said lo I am gifting you mind night that you can visit your wife on a Saturday Ilana, Miko, Miko wife, and you can visit her and just keep me in your Nika when I can. Okay boo and obasa manisa ecoman Yama I don't want to be capped off seven detached from your relationship in this world. I want to stand up with the privilege of being the mother of the believers on the day of Yama. Nevis awesome accepted the proposal for Coronavirus Coronavirus simony Ayesha, Yeoman Yamaha massada. The first time we cited in the beginning and Acropolis taqwa the marriage, Allah says each one has a right. But the best way to go forward is applying the principle

00:33:56--> 00:34:16

of four feet in your right or accepting a compromise in your right. But try your level best to diligently execute the right you owe to others. And if you have this attitude and tactful that you forgive, then that is closer to piety while attending so when you

00:34:17--> 00:34:38

do not omit courtesy amongst yourself, we have courtesy with people with a treble with a you know what, fuel attendant with a passer by a bystander, a federal employee but we lose the element of courtesy at home. And I'm saying this to remind myself also we just take it for granted.

00:34:39--> 00:34:50

So we need to look at measures that how we can learn to overlook our rights and not demand it that is what is loved by Allah subhana wa tada

00:34:51--> 00:34:52

Acropolis taqwa

00:34:55--> 00:34:56

in the Mahabharata.

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

New shoes and oh,

00:35:02--> 00:35:04

this is another very important thing brothers.

00:35:07--> 00:35:15

Marriage is what they say in English. Marriage has a lot of phones. But celibacy is no roses.

00:35:17--> 00:35:41

Marriage has long phones. But celibacy is no roses. It surely has phones being single. That is nothing to be single, there is no life to it. Allah has kept this relationship and in that Allah has kept this amazing habit and affection and this challenges and this growth and development and this maturity that you go forward and you go forward.

00:35:43--> 00:35:48

On the side of a woman, an important ingredient is gratitude.

00:35:49--> 00:36:08

Ibrahim alayhis salam Allah referred to him as Helene hardy means tolerant. A one one example, he says has 15 million the very tolerant forbearance Abraham by the description of a law even told his son divorce a woman who's ungrateful.

00:36:09--> 00:36:49

Understand this you understand this objectively grateful is essential loyalty from a man gratitude from a woman. These are key ingredients to keep the wheel turning. When either of the two, there's going to be turbulence, say tonight, Brahim comes to visit. And again he visits occasionally. Sometimes As parents, we mustn't overwhelm our children, we need to give them space and time the child is born the child the fetus receives nutrition to the umbilical cord. But at birth, you got to detach and the child becomes an independent entity, the child gets married, we need to release and the next step of life has to go ahead and that has to happen. And sometimes we have difficulty in

00:36:49--> 00:37:29

detaching, and we clutch on and we hope often you sit down with the boy and goat he and she don't have issues, extended family have issues. Now how tragic and unfortunate if a marriage is to suffer a blow for external factors when he and she are in harmony with each other. That really is a very, very painful thing. I want to share with you one incident very quickly. And then probably if time allows someone to other anecdotes from the life of nearly Salaam in Africa, Monica ibaka a ser una the marriage that attracts the greatest Parker is the one with the least cost is incurred. It doesn't gel with our logic we think the more leverage, the more flamboyant, the more colorful, the

00:37:29--> 00:37:36

most strategic, the more exotic, the more you know, we attract goodness, flavor, excitement, but listen to this.

00:37:38--> 00:37:40

He was a distinguished student of somebody who

00:37:42--> 00:38:20

was one of the greatest of Serbia in Canada eustache was Sahaba. He used to issue verdicts on jurisprudence, even when Sahaba were alive. And that's a rich accolade. That's a great you know, feat and milestone and achievement in the cap of salary, diplomacy, Abraham a lot. So among the students was Abu Bashar. He says punto de Mistura Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam fundamentally, was a feminist and a humble man. It was a very diligent student in the mercy of the messenger sallallahu wasallam. And my teacher was certainly the Messiah for the year 236, a German

00:38:21--> 00:38:22

photographer the need

00:38:27--> 00:39:14

for the music in the academy. Something happened I couldn't make it and I didn't attend class. he inquired for my fellow classmates visible without no clue. No idea, okay? The man is not there. For what to Ella Heba yummy. After a few days I came back for a Yanni he welcomed me he assured me he entertained me in a Quinta da da, da I haven't been seen you lately in class. He said to feed Zoey jetty festival to be America, my spouse, my spouse passed away. And I was engaged in the rituals of burial and I was attending to all those things. The VNA. Salatu was Salam was so attached to Khadija the among Rhonda, that when they used to be on knock on the door, and it was the sister of Khadija

00:39:14--> 00:39:15

or the Nana, for

00:39:16--> 00:39:59

that not was nostalgic to never use that a lot isn't it used to trigger old emotions and memories of Khadija de la and then he would when he would receive Can you imagine what a relationship and this woman was so amazing, so amazing, that when the Nebbiolo was subjected to macatawa, and boy, this was in the latter part of the life of Libya, a Salaam and it was the final three years in the life of Ilana in her loyalty to the mission of nebulae Salaam into the cause of nebia. a salon. She was subjected to the boy code restricted to the valuable party when she was 62 years of age.

00:40:00--> 00:40:46

She barely exited shambhavi Abu Talib passed away and then Khadija Nana passed away some generations passed away then Abu Talib there is a difference between the opinions but either way it was in the same year hence as historians capture it, I started the amount I said you leave about your spouse Khadija can we not close the chapter and move on. But Abdullah Camacho Amina Allah has given you a young woman a new woman you know move on in Nevis awesome Sasha I love you, but don't hurt me regardless of the job don't hurt me. I'm gonna be if Catalunya sub Bethany is Devaney, a nurse over Stephanie B, Maddie, hi harmony and nurse and brothers, the most of us we owe this to our spouse.

00:40:47--> 00:41:10

Many of us today Marshall, Allah has blessed you. You've climbed the economic ladder, you've climbed the corporate ladder. Your settings are strong and established and well, many of our kids are born into the lap of luxury. But if there was somebody who walked the baby steps with us, surely it was possible in the early days, somebody who crawled with us somebody who walked with us, took the baby steps with us where we had nothing and we were nothing. Nobody knew you. Nobody wanted to know you.

00:41:12--> 00:41:27

Said I cannot forget this favor of Khadija and SB is California nurse when Arabia was frowning at me and moaning at me and groaning at me. My Khadija embraced me without reservation.

00:41:28--> 00:41:58

She put all her wealth down before me when others was skeptical and hesitant. Should they as aid or not, she put all her well, and she trusted me when others doubted me for that Khadija mana ease. You know, in my entire anatomy, I'm paraphrasing, obviously, but her love and her mahabhava is in my entire body that was the matam and the status. So first of all to be so first of all to be unrehearsed I was attending to the rituals of my spouse.

00:42:00--> 00:42:25

So my teacher savvy who say you have said to me, Allah Akbar tenaya ababwa funny was when he had the janessa harmonica, we're Nina calama and Tuffy puppet, you should have told us you lost your spouse, we would have made it a point to be there to assist you. And as you said, I appreciate your sentiments. May Allah reward you, and it's very kind of you. But anyway, you know what it happens sudden, and I had to attend to it and move on to an

00:42:28--> 00:42:30

asset cola and I'm on my way out first.

00:42:31--> 00:42:35

He said just wait when everybody's gone. I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you. First.

00:42:36--> 00:43:18

Jimmy Amen. kind of imagine if everybody left. He said sympathies with what had happened. Mr. Curtis does his own jet in Lucca Ababa, Buddha, have you given thought that you need to get married again. I barely divulge and broke the news that I lost my spouse. And immediately My teacher said he didn't know he was the noblest of the tourbillion who enjoys such accolades. He said, Have you given thought to the fact that you need to move on? Hola, vinta Hakeem, Ilana came to newbies A lot of you. Are you looking very sad. I lost Saudi Arabia lavon. How can we consider another marriage who the soda an elderly woman brother Yamaha, this is out of the olana a young woman we would you

00:43:18--> 00:43:38

consider this custom set take the proposal to vote generation of Sarah Tomas profile. So there are the Lana's Nika take place just off the topic, but again, about a point of reflection and introspection. These are key factors in our life. I said, both need to be governed by the fear of Allah discipline honest, you know, meticulous, that was the life of our Habib salatu salam.

00:43:41--> 00:44:22

I just have a flash of that one ad that I want to mention, and I'll come back to this here. I shall be a Lannister than a viola would hop into the bed with me. Let's get purgin to be jindee our skin would be touching, the body freezes. And the mind just blocks off and shuts down to begin to imagine the privilege of it sort of the olana to begin to emerge and you cannot imagine comprehend. Furthermore, encapsulate this year, the non Muslims used to store this is the liberation of tyranny that when they wanted to sneeze, they should want to know the sustenance nice day by the prophet Muhammad. So when you sneeze then he would say May the Lord bless you so at least you will be

00:44:22--> 00:44:23

blessed

00:44:24--> 00:44:27

God and we are yet our persona.

00:44:29--> 00:44:59

to survey you don't need the I'll say bless you go let the Prophet say bless you your destiny would change but then a viola wouldn't say bless you would say May Allah guide you because obviously they didn't have a diet and yeah, I saw the olana nebia A Salaam literally skin to skin, skin to skin. And he was said he would talk with me talk with me. There has to be time my brother in our lives, where we ideally on a daily basis, where we catch up with each other. The days are busy. The wife

00:45:00--> 00:45:29

As a president, you have a president that demands a lot the kids and I often say to my spouse and I advocated in my thoughts, the best time is to hop into bed together. And to spend some time together, update each other listen to in cell phone or iPad, this email this is what happened. The neighbor this what happened this is what happened this weekend, just to touch base we live in in a world but we're not together. The Quran says that the woman should nurse and settle her child for two years. While while a two year old Ola.

00:45:30--> 00:45:32

Carmina in a lemon

00:45:33--> 00:46:06

Margarita, ideally for a woman who wants to complete the cycle of of nursing and suckling her child. And that is has its own benefit and merit. You can express the milk and give the child the same mode. But the bonding that happens between mom and child you lose in that key time. Hence, when the poor aren't founded, word of caution to explain to us the severity of the horror of the day of tiama Allah said, you're gonna have

00:46:11--> 00:46:57

to understand the gravity of the day leave a father abandoning his son leave a spouse abandoning his partner, a mum will forsaken nursing child. The scholars say why did I mention that that's the strongest bond. So they together maybe start some hops into bed with our instead of their Lana. And then when he would perceive that I have retired to bed, then he would gradually sneak out. And then it was him and he's aligned that night. He wouldn't deny me those key moments, despite the fact that his vision was to engage in prayer the whole night. But he would hop into bed spend the quality time with me when I would by my own you know, tendency and fatigue slip off into slumber and sleep he

00:46:57--> 00:47:08

would sneak out and in that time it was a bother and whatever life that our Habib sallallahu wasallam had left lead. So Allah goes on to mention that if you

00:47:09--> 00:47:11

want el modo de la,

00:47:14--> 00:47:17

la, la La, La La, la,

00:47:19--> 00:47:56

la La, la, la la la la, la will be one a day. This is such an important everything of the Quran, don't cause pain to the mother because of a child don't cause pain to the Father because of his child. The context of the ayah the cry about the academic break ground to desire is that when the mother is missing the child she shouldn't say no, I don't want to miss the child. You must give it to a nursing woman a wet nurse. In this way you causing strain on the Father. And the Father. On the other hand, if the mother cannot nurse her health is not well, then you shouldn't play tough and say no, no, I'm not going to get a wet nurse, you're going to sacrifice my child. she's unable to

00:47:56--> 00:48:24

produce mold. She doesn't have optimum milk, a health is not good. So don't inflict pain on each other because of the child. How often today we see that tragically when the marriage is dissolved. One partner plays tough with the other one that you see your child you will not see the how many couples and men in particular have cried tears of blood in front of me one or five years I haven't seen my child. I don't know how my daughter looks and she lives two streets away.

00:48:25--> 00:48:56

la dee da da da da, da mo see what did I say my opening fear a lot fear of law fear a lot. I might have a bit of a 33 is all in his his his his servant and he's rebuking him and chastising him and and and you know what the reproaching him and then just an awesome season. He said only Obama said release him a lot is some said La La vaca. Ronnie come in Colorado. Remember,

00:48:57--> 00:49:35

you might have authority over the slave but Allah has much more sovereignty over you. So Allah can turn situations. So another key thing in the marriage is there must be mutual discussion. This is a complaint that we have often both sides, sometimes the woman would just take the thing unilaterally without informing the husband or the husband would do something and it's just that we don't have that understanding and that Mahabharata the Quran says we're in Iraq to do this is so key our other issues are petty. Must we paint that we must entertain the youngster for me is that I want to get married. I'm interested. My parents want to delay it so why they can't get a cook can't get old is

00:49:35--> 00:49:36

they know they can find a painter.

00:49:38--> 00:49:39

I'm like Hello.

00:49:41--> 00:49:46

Can I find a painter? No my way by any will come and go look nice. is the way why.

00:49:49--> 00:49:59

I mean, these things have no relevance. They have no relevance to the issue here. We got to rescue the marriage and get them on track and let the we have done

00:50:00--> 00:50:07

The essays are more key issues. These are petty these are material and mundane. We're in our intestine, the root

00:50:09--> 00:50:11

phenomena de comida Sallam to

00:50:13--> 00:50:13

find

00:50:16--> 00:50:40

out what they saw. If you feel that resonance, we need to wean the child off before the expiry of two years. It's no problem. As long as you sit down the word, robbing from the word Bob too far on the shower, husband and wife, listen, what's the benefit? What's the harm? What's the pro what's the con what's the way forward, mutually discuss the thing, then there's no harm. It's possible it's permissible these explanation, but they attend me

00:50:43--> 00:50:46

and sit down and make Matura with understanding what you said.

00:50:49--> 00:51:28

And if you are, you know, just gone settled and you have stalemate and deadlock and you can't have a resolution, then give it to someone else to nurse the child. But but have mutual understanding. When Xena probably olana eldest daughter was of age then it was Khadija to the olana who approach the topic only over law my sister son, I will ask when Bobby unfortunately very few people know about the Sonny law, Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam. We know of Satan, and rightfully so because he has this honor said now Omar said I agreed with envy for the over three things. Number one of the who are

00:51:30--> 00:51:40

in the barrel of paper Allah gave him Allah gave him the flag and treat him like a victory. As though would you who fought and fought Mr. Obama came in his honor

00:51:41--> 00:51:44

to propose nobodies also modestly declined

00:51:45--> 00:51:55

to propose nobody saw some modestly decline. Then they got a black man. Ready you go up drop man in a decline. Say daddy came to propose the visa Some said I was waiting for you.

00:51:57--> 00:52:14

I was waiting for you. So say now mama said I'm green with envy. Allah gave him this honor, who who fought him out of the love and had the queen of gender came in his lap. He took the banner and he had access to the mustard like nobody else. This was the honor that Allah had given to say you do not have to be alone.

00:52:15--> 00:52:16

So we're in

00:52:17--> 00:52:17

for

00:52:19--> 00:52:57

that they should be mutual understanding and they should be this Mohatta and this affection and mutually discuss things. Unfortunately, today, they it's just not there. It's out of the window. It's argument. It's ugly. Moving back to this time is running out against me really, really badly. So it said I I sat down and my teacher told me that have you given thought so I said when we use a vision he won the Chabot national team and Russia to run for another America euro main. I mean, are you kidding? The UK they say you have a love Brother, you have an allotment. Now I'm like real?

00:53:00--> 00:53:02

Who's gonna wake me up to date?

00:53:04--> 00:53:30

Is that under immunity? I'm asking you because I'm considered in my daughter is the prospective spouse. For NACA melissani. I lost my parents momentarily. I lost my coach. composure, and it was originally implemented to start Sure. You Right, okay. All in order. You're gonna get married to your daughter, Father on our estimate. After you know, my financial standing, he said, Yes. Fernando de Anima Nava Dena, who

00:53:31--> 00:53:53

are who are entering the number the UT and he will follow because our credentials and criteria is piety and character, character. My brother character is everything. Let me share with you an idea. I was in the Caribbean and we were doing a marriage workshop. I always say this on lightheartedness here. Brothers, I'm going for marriage workshop. I said, you don't have to attend marriages a workshop.

00:53:54--> 00:53:58

So what do you mean, I see men work woman shop. So oh, let it Okay, no problem.

00:54:02--> 00:54:05

You mentioned an amazing thing. And it really got me thinking.

00:54:06--> 00:54:38

Now, if you know in the Caribbean, the accent is really I'm sitting there at the boarding gate in Barbados. The woman is in front of me 50 meters and she's announcing but the flight departure and asking the person What did she say? And she's English. If you ever heard the, you know, the talk very fast, very, very fast, and it's a distinct dialect. I was two weeks ago now in in Montreal, and this young girl came to me to share I love your accent. I said well compliment first time I heard a South African accent. First time we are somebody likes our accent.

00:54:40--> 00:54:54

Anyway, he mentioned an amazing thing was a brother from the UK and he said this and I said so Pamela does the beauty of the Quran. Long story short, some Sahaba did not participate in certain campaigns due to the fact that the wives and their children kept them back.

00:54:56--> 00:54:59

So they were holding back but lagging a bit

00:55:00--> 00:55:04

Salafi beans diverse yeah you alladhina amanu enamel as well as

00:55:05--> 00:55:39

the Komodo Allah calm the room, are you who believe some of your spouse's and your children are really not your spouse's, they actually your enemies, and Allah spelt it out clearly. Allah didn't say they not, you know, polite to you, okay? I use the word I do, which means enemy. So obviously they change strategy and this has signaled a word of caution that you people are enemies, you've held us back, you didn't allow us to participate, and they became stern and they tighten and they became hard and strong. And then Allah revealed the next verse, what they did was wrong, but the way you addressed it is no less right?

00:55:40--> 00:55:50

That's not the way to go forward. What they did was wrong. What did I say character and what's the character forgiveness? The Quran then said, What in What does for whom?

00:55:51--> 00:56:05

He mentioned this and then I kind of referenced this and then verified This generally in the Quran. It's a general principle Allah promotes and advocates forgive, forget, forgive, forget when a man is in an economic mode.

00:56:06--> 00:56:15

But when it came to forgiveness with your spouse and your children, Allah merged and combined every word of forgiveness in the Quran in the sight of

00:56:20--> 00:56:59

forgive, forget an embrace. You gotta go back. Listen, my boy, I don't, I cannot. You're a teenager. I can't beat you milling around like this. And I say this to the youth and I've been saying it, one teaching of the VOA Salaam Alaikum wa rahmatullah. Misha don't have social gatherings you are, you know, busy on your phones and it is killing your time you becoming non productive, but we cannot excommunicate and we cannot break relationship. We have to go back to the same house and the same relationship, and we cannot become you know, give up hope and get exhausted. The Quran says as much as what they did is wrong. The way forward is, forgive, forget, overlook and embrace and then move

00:56:59--> 00:57:09

forward. Allahu Akbar, this is a key thing. We have to go back. That's why we said that character. So you said you have character and you have a cloud so we are happy with you.

00:57:10--> 00:57:12

Samantha, talamanca Reba, Mina, wanna? davon

00:57:14--> 00:57:27

Nika so everyone came when everybody gets it, Hamid Allahu Allah He prays the lesson salutations or maybe sallallahu Sallam or aka Allah immunity he any sort of nice marriage with his daughter with

00:57:28--> 00:57:33

me, and he made the dowry to Durham. Now academically there's an old right up

00:57:35--> 00:57:38

to him regarding the minimum dowry, we're not going into those details.

00:57:40--> 00:58:18

So he made the record and this was the daddy for come to Rhema akumina density when I stood up and I'm like, scratching my head like, wasn't wasn't supposed to laugh, cry. What are they supposed to do? What are they supposed to do? So maka said to Beatty, I said, let me go home, according to your meetings. And that day I was fasting. So Pamela, our that being the son in law? How about that being the optional fast? A brother told me Ramadan is over I'm feeling so sad and everything. I said Ramadan is over fasting is not over. You say Yeah, but you know what I mean? Like that day, but it's Ramadan is over. I said fast. My brother is over plan is not over.

00:58:20--> 00:58:21

who stops us from continuing?

00:58:23--> 00:58:34

If there is veracity to our claim, if there is truthfulness to our claim, then why don't we support it with action? I went home walk into your market and saw him and I was fasting fantasy to me. I forgot I was fasting.

00:58:37--> 00:58:45

Happy mug grip and the whole day went like this was called out. For the master little mug grip. I performed my grip which

00:58:46--> 00:58:53

I sat down to eat what kind of cups then was eaten and was nothing more than olive oil and bread. McKenna will come in.

00:58:57--> 00:59:02

I had a muffler too. And there was a knock on the door for all too many thought. I'm like, brother who's it separate?

00:59:04--> 00:59:04

Because

00:59:08--> 00:59:18

I said it could be any man and every man but my teacher for photography. Bob, I opened the door. And lo and behold is the same men. My former teacher current father in law, maybe daddy one day.

00:59:20--> 00:59:25

You know the brother say I don't know how to say daddy. I'm saying Uncle Uncle. Don't worry. One day you come right. My brother.

00:59:29--> 00:59:56

Bob, I opened the door. When I looked at him. I said, Yeah, I'm sure the man is gonna cold footed. How could I get my daughter to a man later I knew this man. He couldn't be like it was too good to be true. I said, he said something not in order. He said no, no, no. I just have a metal. So I said, well come in. He said come down to the ambulance. I got something important. So I said, Okay, now I'm like perplexed and confused. Like, what's this all about? Muhammad Allah, he said in Abernethy as

00:59:59--> 00:59:59

well.

01:00:00--> 01:00:43

Assalamu unaka I know very well that my daughter has become your legal spouse and wedded to you. And I know that you are living alone. And I don't want you to live alone when my daughter is wedded to you. So I want somebody to comfort your loneliness and remove your solitary and remove your, you know, isolation for God to copy how I brought what I said we have an EP how you brought up, he said yes. And before I could see this, she walks in. She entered he shut the door. The minute she was so modest, so bashful that she almost fell out of modesty. So many better to her. To her in a in a spirit. He said, I said quickly, let me off the light. So she don't see bread and olive oil sitting

01:00:43--> 01:01:04

where I ended up. So I moved the place from there and I'm like they are mumbling a mumbling when we look at our old folks, they started marriage without a house and a home. But loyalty and patience gave them a house in a home. The young couple today start with a lavish house. We asked him to make a home and that also become a tall order and a big ask.

01:01:06--> 01:01:28

Our own folks will tell you we started with nothing I got to that. But my time is up yet. In that I went and called all the neighborhood and they came and everybody said are you serious that suddenly diplomacy you've got your met daughter married to you when he had declined the proposal of Solomon except al Maliki said yes. And yeah, they came and said Subhana Allah for either human or behind Isa in Medina, t jamala was a tabula

01:01:29--> 01:02:05

rasa. She had all the necessary accolades. And we loved what harmony and peace really speaking my brothers, what I said was just the tip of the iceberg. Brother of the results daughter will be getting married, May Allah give him happiness and goodness, whatever we said, let us take it to heart. We got to be working on our marriage all the time, all the time. We got to be working at it all the time. And we must be conscious. Is it worth it? Can I compromise this a doctor gave me a beautiful analogy. He said, you go into a shop, you buy something. You look at this, this is too expensive. It will it will dent my pocket, it will go deep in my pocket. I can stay without it. But

01:02:05--> 01:02:34

so many times we buy things that cost us our health. It cost us our health is not expensive on our pocket. It's expensive on our health. So many times we do things that's expensive on our marriage. It's expensive on our marriage. I know this is going to create turbulence rightfully or wrongfully. I know it's going to result in three days of no talking and then we have this scenario with a four year old becomes the official interpreter. Ask your mother if she wants anything as your father is having lunch. And

01:02:35--> 01:02:43

Mama. Oh man. They say you know oxymoron. What's the best oxymoron? happily married.

01:02:45--> 01:03:20

What's the best oxymoron happily married. But really speaking my brother What is marriage? Marriage is a work in progress with a lifetime contract. And what they say and work in progress how long the procedure does every five years is going to be later. This is lifetime contract. My brother we work in it all the time. Sometimes will be good sometimes will be turbulent. But I promise you my brother, if I can leave you with a last word in this current crisis year, May Allah give me modesty? May Allah give you modesty? May Allah make us loyal, faithful partners. May Allah make us loyal, faithful partners. My sister is realistic. May Allah make you grateful May Allah make you appreciate

01:03:20--> 01:04:04

them. I'm not suggesting that men should not be grateful and woman should not be faithful. But by and large if I apply my mind and they look at the stats with which I do, then these things stand out. So we asked Allah subhanaw taala to give the swab and understanding the method that sallallahu wasallam said lamentable Mata hub benei Mr. Lin nica, you will find a bond between many friends partners, neighbors, colleagues, associates, Haji brothers, but you will not find this amazing bond between any two like how marriage puts them together. For me it and Haleakala come in unphysical as Raja kulu kulu Allah said your spouse's so that piece can come jalallinen Laila latest kulu with

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convenient at night so peace can come jalila come in BeautyCon Sakina we've given you a house that must give you peace three things the Quran said your spouse must give you comfort, the night must give you peace and and your home must give you comfort. Unfortunately today we can't sleep at night. I was in in Mozambique for a program with driving back on the road we were gone to an island and we coming back and my son isn't dead look at this person is sleeping on a thin slab of concrete on the main road. If he makes one turn he's on the road

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and assets to Bahama This is amazing man. He said what's amazing I said I've seen people tossing on flat beds flying in the best of comfort and your man sleeping on a thin slept with traffic and hustle and bustle. And it really puts the puts the question Who's wealthy and who's who's rich and who's poor. Sleeping on the side of the road. You do one moon liners Can you fall that the other day I had a comment?

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Please comment you're having major problems in marriage. My husband snores a lot. Ben now live with a small little button and when you know what cotton roll earpads whatever it is, man, just go with it move with the flow. Allah glanza sola tofik probably not enough

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to know

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me and was Salatu was Salam ala l mursaleen.

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So you didn't know where Maulana Muhammad Ali he was five he almost died most loving, Most Gracious merciful Allah put Mahatma in the marriage that is to take place a malady be a means of uniting two families. And by extension the oma Allah, Allah be let us be amongst those who unite and not divided over love. Allah those that have gathered here a lot those that are married and are having any difficulty turbulence bickering, or discord a lot between spouses remove that overlap, dissolve that overlap, have a mutual understanding and goodness between them Allah, those that are desirous to get married and I in the search of good partners, Grant and good suitable partners of a law, those that

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are experienced in any difficulty marital or otherwise, you resolve the crisis of a law, those that are married and are desirous and optimistic of offspring and replace them with offspring of Allah, Allah those among those that have illness, chronic conditions, incurable law, this is medical definition of law nothing is above you will not your will is existence your intention is reality will law. We ask you to grant your and she fall in love Allah we ask you to bring peace to the planet to Allah, Allah, those that are killing that. There's a butcher in Allah, we ask you to hold the hands of these tyrants, dictators, dogmatic autocratic rulers, Allah sees the hand grip the

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hands a lot, a lot those that are in pain and anxiety and difficulty a lot. You bring peace and ease and comfort to them all. We ask from you all the good that Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam had asked from you. And we asked the divine protection against all the evils and devices from which Habib sallallahu wasallam as protection was fully loved, universally modern, a beginner Muhammad Ali he was happy he has now been so behind rob the carabiner is just before Mr. Rahman Allah mursaleen all

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those most valuable was metallic you must have at shala to embrace and the old man and his family abundantly for sacrificing to be with us.