Navigating Turbulent Times- Overcoming Stress and Anxiety

Sarah Sultan


Channel: Sarah Sultan

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AI: Summary © The host of a webinar on mental health counseling discusses the negative impacts of COVID-19 on Muslims, including suicidal thoughts and suicidal thoughts. They emphasize the importance of creating a plan for one's own well-being, coping skills, and online activities for mental health. The speakers stress the importance of reducing stress, building internal and external resilience, and finding ways to manage one's emotions while working from home. They also touch on the reflection of one's belief in God and the difficulty of isolation during quarantine.
AI: Transcript ©
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first in our series of webinars on navigating turbulent times, so we have today's webinar, and inshallah we have another one that will be on Thursday at the same time be admitted that,

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you know, all of us are well, first of all, I should say that, in case you didn't realize, I'm not sure home or Sunday man, but, you know, unfortunately, you had some family issues to deal with, we ask Allah Subhana Allah to, you know, help him and his family and to aid them. But I'm here in sha Allah in his support. And as we I just want to remind everyone in sha Allah to make up for him and his family as well given that, so I'm here hopefully, trying to fill the very big shoes of Shaheed Emerson, amen. But we have some amazing guests that are with us. And our discussion today is around this topic of, you know, navigating very turbulent times, we're seeing events that are happening all

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around the world, really difficult events that are happening, whether you're in the United States, and you're, you know, facing the elections that are coming up really soon. And you hear all the noise, and the NG your and the emotions that are coming with that. Or if you're, you know, we're all going through COVID, still right now at the same time, and, and all the events related to COVID, that so many people are going through, and people have lost their jobs. And, you know, we've seen all the turmoil associated with that. And, you know, obviously, every Muslim right now is concerned about what's happening in France, as well, and all those different events that are happening there,

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as well. And so all these different events, you know, and the noise that we hear from these different events and the turmoil that comes with it, and the adversity that comes with it, sometimes it's really difficult for us to process what's happening. And when we're not able to process what's happening, it can overwhelm us. And that can create negative impacts on us psychologically, or religiously, socially, and so on and so forth. So our objective in this series in sha Allah is to explore and talk about the social, the psychological, the spiritual ways in which we can be impacted by adversity by turmoil by fitna. And so today we're going to focus mostly on the social

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psychological impact of navigating through very turbulent times navigating through hardship, navigating through Pfitzner. What is the social and psychological impact of that? And how can we overcome that? And that's why today's discussion is overcoming stress and anxiety is something that all of us are in need of Hamdulillah we have three amazing guests, guests that are with us. I want to introduce all of them in sha Allah. Before we get into our discussion. We have Dr. Ronnie our word who is an clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the Stanford University School of Medicine, where she is the director of Muslim mental health lab and wellness program and the

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director of the diversity clinic through her outreach work at Stanford. She's also the Clinical Director of the San Francisco Bay Area branches of the O'Neill Center, a spiritual wellness center pioneering, pioneering the application of traditional Islamic spiritual healing methods to modern clinical psychology. She is also a senior fellow at a clean Institute. We're also joined with Sister Angela Awad, who is a psychotherapist and she is passionate about helping Muslims heal, grow thrive after adversity. She has over a decade of experience providing online and in person counseling to children, adults and families I her practice and then a family counseling and she also serves as a

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fellow at a clean Institute. And finally we have sister sought out so plan as well and she's a licensed professional counselor who strives to empower her clients through achieving healthier, more fulfilling lives and relationships while connecting to Allah during the healing process. Sada obtained a master's degree in mental health counseling and she has practiced therapy for nearly 10 years. She's also an instructor with Michigan University where she teaches a course about the intersections between between SNAM psychology and counseling. Sato also serves as a fellow here at the ATHLEAN Institute, and Tala before I start throwing questions towards our guests. I just want to

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remind everyone in sha Allah, who's following along that you can tweet at us with the hashtag European bites, hashtag pain bites bi T S, and share your favorite gems inshallah. We're going to be live tweeting through this session as well be in the lab. So as I mentioned before, we're going to be exploring questions like how can we protect or strengthen our mental health during times of turmoil? How can we cope through difficulty and adversity? What can we do to practice practically to ensure that we emerge from turbulent times and turmoil to become better, stronger, healthier, and more developed Muslims in sha Allah? So I'm going to start off with Dr. Rania inshallah to ask her,

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you know, Doctor, what are the effects that uncertain times have on our mental state, we see all these, you know, events that are happening and there's, you know, it seems like everyday things are just rapidly changing. You know, those you know, as

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We experienced COVID, you can go from one day of regular life to all of a sudden, the next day, you know, your business is shut down, even your messages shut down. And there's just rapidly changing events and things that are changing on the fly constantly. And that can what, you know, what impact does that have on our mental state?

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Now money can colorful light, but I got to thank you, Chef Ibrahim. And, and I really think

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everybody who's attending this, you know, clean,

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you know, webinar, because I think it's so important that we talk about the exact questions that you're mentioning. So before I begin just about 100, handless, a little moment and say that I'm Hamid, one other incident which mine this question about what's what's happening to our mental state? And where are we all kind of mental health wise? I have to say, and I'll probably say this a few times, we are definitely as a globally as a people as humanity are really feeling the brunt of all that's happening right now. In fact, if I were to the way I'd like to actually start answering your question is basically to walk us through a timeline, because I am going to make this statement.

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But I want to be able to qualify why I'm saying what I'm saying, in terms of why our mental health condition, mental conditions are actually at an all time high at the moment, martial law. You know, I think about this time period right now, this visit, practically this exact time, about four years ago, when those of us in the US were experiencing the last election cycle. And how incredibly difficult it was. I know, for me, as I'm sure as our other therapists that are here, and others who are, who can remember that period of time for Muslims. It's it was such a complete upheaval for us. It was, for me, it was town hall after town hall and community, you know, healing session after one

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after another support groups, there was so much angst and so much anxiety and really uncertainty at that time, as well. And it's only really lingered over these last four years. And I'll focus on just these last four years and say that, you know, everything that went on at that time from local things like experiencing the Muslim ban, and which is still very much an effect. And we don't know what's going to happen in the next couple of weeks, to global things that affected the Muslim community, like the Christchurch shootings in New Zealand, for example, that happened in the year after that. And then, you know, that was March and 19, and 2019. And then a march of 2020, of course, comes

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Coronavirus, and all of the uncertainty that came with that. But then you look at it even just this past several months of this past year of 2020. And you really realized that the sense of safety in the world has very much been

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for many people taken away or at least shaken up. And I think that's what's really important. And for places that were safe havens and safe places for people, like for example, for some that was their masjid, right, that place where they go and kind of like, be able to pray to God and kind of hold on to community that too was for many, you know, was shuttered, and it was unable to kind of get to the communal effects of that we usually kind of seek help from like the gym or prayers or their youth prayers or in Ramadan came through all of the COVID quarantine right? And Subhan Allah. That was although I have to say Muslims, we found this in the European study, actually, that Muslims

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have done remarkably well, this past stumbled on. But still, I mean, when you look at the hot on machete, for example, and see how it was close for a period of time, that's a place of safety globally for many Muslims. And to see that closed was really difficult for so many, and how Hajj was reduced from 2.5 million to 1000 people, right, there's so many changes that have happened. And all of it is sort of this lingering uncertainty, which is I hope we'll get to soon here, in more discussion of what happens to all of that. Here in the US this summer was a lot of bringing to light, the social upheavals, anti racism, particularly anti black violence, that really has always

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been around and finally came to light in a much, much more prominent way. And it really put us all in a place of wondering, Where is the light at the end of the tunnel? And that's the question I think so many people are asking. And it doesn't help, of course, that all the transitions we're dealing with personally, whether it's as you know, it's the transitioning to online learning and figuring out how to school your kids from home and work from home and balance. All of it. All of those balances are things that are much more serious, like those of us here in California, the imminent wildfires that continue to rage. You know, it's there's natural disasters that are also

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happening. The reason I'm painting this picture is really to show that it's not any one thing. And it's enough different aspects, whether they be global, national, local, personal, that really have affected so many of us to a point, where do we really think about, okay, there's election season happening next week. But that's not it. And that's not the only thing that's happening that's bringing about that level of uncertainty. So for the many and I think this is where I want to kind of like reiterate what I said at the beginning, it is only natural normal, but our mental health conditions like anxiety, like depression, like the retriggering of trauma for those who have already

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experienced trauma earlier in their life, PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress

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disorder, and then many other conditions that are like that maybe were already there at baseline for some people that are just much more higher level and triggered retriggered. Or even emphasized if you will, at this period of time. And it makes sense that that's the case. And this is where I want to try to normalize a little bit of what's happening here and say, it's not you alone. It's not me alone. It's not all of us, you know, but it's actually everybody. And I think that's where we have to realize that some of the emotions that we're feeling are natural, and they're normal. And if you didn't have them, I think I'd be more concerned, to be honest with you. I think that having feelings

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of this kind of, we're going to talk about what to do about them in this session, but having them is actually normal and okay, and expected, because of all of what we just kind of outlined together here. And what does that look like it looks like everything from, you know, not feeling well, like I think you said Jehovah and very clearly like, there are some days you're feeling like you're doing okay, and you're very productive. And the next day, you're not, and you simply can't get as much done as you normally would, and you feel kind of down. And other days where it's just difficulty with sleeping. The Sleep is kind of, you know, in this where you're eating and sleeping, and

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working, and schooling and everything in the same place. It jeopardizes the quality of sleep patterns, appetite, you know, patterns, the level of irritability and crankiness with depending on who we're rooming with, or living with, right, things of that nature, all of it is affecting how we're feeling. And I think the point that I'll end on here, before we talk, then dive a little bit more into uncertainty. And why we are where we are today is I have to say, like I said earlier, globally, we're seeing mental health conditions at an all time high in all people. And in terms of the Muslim community, specifically, we're actually finding that the mental health conditions are

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pretty high as well. So these are the highest levels of depression, we've seen highest levels of anxiety that we've seen, particularly PTSD, because we have quite a bit of that in our communities. So many Muslims, particularly in North America, are immigrants and have come from countries in which there was already a lot of conflict and a war torn areas and a lot of trauma to be going with. And even if they didn't themselves, experience it like the children who are born and raised here. They're carrying intergenerational trauma that their parents and grandparents brought and bring with them, even if they themselves never witnessed that trauma in the first place. So these are all very

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real things. And probably the most pointed thing I can tell you, you know, the center that we that I helped direct here, in the Bay Area, it's part of a larger organization called Khalil Center, which is a, you know, an organization that is dedicated to Muslim mental health specifically and integrating Islam into the psychotherapy process, the largest provider of Muslim mental health, and we find in the data that we've collected from all people that come through them, almost some so come through the cardio center, one in three, that's a huge number one, three people say that in the last couple of weeks, they've actually thought about suicide, or they've actually had suicidal thinking

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or thinking about life would be better without them, which is really problematic, and very much something we need to address as a community. And why we're having sessions like this to really talk about it, a to normalize some of these feelings with B to talk about, how do we cope? What do we do? These are difficult times we all know that now what do we do?

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Scarlets that's a crazy statistic to think of that one and three are thinking about suicide, and it shows us, you know, how much work that we need to do in order to, to provide more comfort to our community, and to let our community

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you know, not feel so alienated by some of the feelings that we have, like, I think, you know, one of the things that you really mentioned is that it's natural to feel anxiety right now. And I think a lot of people when they feel that anxiety, they feel that actually, like, it's unnatural, that they shouldn't be happy, or all the time that they shouldn't be, you know, facing these types of circumstances. And, and sometimes it makes them feel alienated. But I think the it's important to put out that message that, you know, we're all human beings, and we're all going through the same thing right now. And it's natural to feel this level of anxiety.

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Let me just, you know, ask you another question, maybe to build off of this. When you're seeing all this anxiety when we are experiencing all this anxiety happening around us? Or we're experiencing this anxiety, we're seeing all this uncertainty happening around us. You know, what, what impact does that have, you know, on a religious state as well, you know, what impact does that have on our on our devotion? Maybe you know, something that you've seen, in your experience, what could you add to that? You know, that it's interesting about religious devotion, and kind of like, where, what does all of this, how does this all tie in together? For some, I definitely, it's very clear that

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there is a direct impact and, and I'll kind of break it down even further, a direct impact, sometimes in the positive and sometimes and I would say even more oftentimes

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is in the negative. And what I mean by that is, you have situations in which if somebody's feeling kind of downloads, let's use the example of, you know, depression, their mood is down, they're feeling pretty down.

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You know, the clinical depression that is biologically based is very much one that you cannot just sort of shake off or pray away. And I think that's the fallacy that a lot of a lot of us fall into of like saying, you know, oh, come on, let's just laziness, get off the bed already get off the couch already. Or saying things like, here are some more Dahlia drawers or here's some more, put it on some more Vicodin that you should do. And the reality is that person is unable to really even

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really just even do their own. You know, you give example of like brushing your own teeth, or brushing your own hair, like basic, basic, you know, hygiene practices every day, let alone try to pray. And when they do try to pray, it's not going very well. So then it feels like they're trying to pray more than being told pray more. And the thing that didn't work in the first place, more of it is certainly not going to work. Right? What needs to happen is actually taking a step back and figuring out why is this person in this place in the first in the first place? Like what is it that we can help the root of the problem here. And sometimes the root of the problem actually is their

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mental health state. And so for the many who actually what I have, what I call diagnosable conditions. So a diagnosable depression diagnosable anxiety and diagnoseable PTSD, for example, OCD, which for many obsessive compulsive disorder has been much worse during the pandemic, because of the very fact that this is a virus. And for those that have obsessions, related to germs and hygiene, and so on, this is a much harder time for them. So anyhow, I mean to say if they are bonafide mental health conditions, sometimes that connection, and often is from people from faith communities, we throw on to it and try to fix the problem with more faith or more spirituality. And that actually

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isn't the exact solution. But rather, if we go to the root of the problem and say it's a mental condition treated mental health wise, eventually their mental eventually, once they're actually feeling better, they can fully engage in the spiritual practices in a much more robust way. Now, I'm going to say one more thing here, before I pass, pass the mic. I did say at the beginning that for some people, there, this period of time actually is a time where they are doing better. And usually it's not necessarily a bonafide diagnosable mental health condition, but they're feeling down or feeling angst are feeling anxious. And for those folks, interestingly enough, this particular

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quarantine, and we saw this iterable done very clearly, that for some people that that lived lack of distractions by staying at home and not going out and about quite a bit, and focusing inward and praying more, because again, it's not a bonafide condition, but rather, it's, you know, just kind of feeling down. So they pick themselves up with spiritual practices. Or some it's actually increased their spirituality and their connection to God, and their reliance on God. So Subhanallah, it really depends on what's happening. And I do want to make that distinction, because I think it's an important one.

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Absolutely, exactly.

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You know, what have you thought I think about sometimes, the Prophet sallallahu sent me he's talking about

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some of the signs of the Day of Judgment. And he says, to cultivate the physical, daily Muslim, that there will be before the hour, there will be fits and trials that will be like portions of the Dark Nights. And, you know, maybe a lot of us can't really understand the reference to this. But if you're in the middle of the desert, and it's a dark nights, like there's no moon, you really can't see anything. And you can't get a bearing on where you are even, you can get a bearing on where it's north, and where south and what's east and what's West. And it's an interesting parable for us because as the Prophet sallallahu Sallam predicts, you know, this is happening, people become so

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dizzy by the events and the drastic changes that occur that we no longer know, you know, up from down or right from wrong. So as we see all these different events happening, I'm going to turn to sister Najwa, insha, Allah to ask her, like, when when we go through all these events, and and, you know, Dr. Ronny, and talked about all the different events and the impact of these events on us. But what does it what is the psychological impact of uncertainty or just not knowing any, for certain not feeling like, you know, for certain, almost anything, that facts don't seem to be, you know, news articles that you read, you're not certain of being true? You know, nothing seems to be

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certain. And anything that you take for granted could change the next day. What is the psychological impact of uncertainty uncertainty upon us?

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This minute, so, Dr. Ronnie did a fantastic job in talking and going back through the past four years, and talking about how really there's been a long term effects of the many things that have happened to us. And I really liked the way that these questions have been worded because building insight to how

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We respond to stress building insight into how we feel and ourselves is really the first step into coping. So understanding how the brain responds and understanding how even physiologically we respond to uncertainty is so important. And panel like recently,

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I would say, even in the past few months, I've done several people, you know, when I'm counseling them online, they say to me, you know, I've been feeling really sad, I've been feeling, you know, really anxious lately, or I've been feeling very numb. And I don't know why. And I tell them, Well, what we're in the middle of a pandemic, is why and they're like, well, but nothing has changed, nothing has changed. Day to day, nothing has changed over the past few weeks. And so it's good to go back and revisit, you know, the year and remind people that just because we have this, you know, everybody calls it the new normal. Just because we have this new normal doesn't make it healthy. If,

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for example, you're in a war zone, you know, you're in a country where you're used to bombs going off, you're used to seeing soldiers, and the weeks go by, and they turn into months. And you you get used to it, does that make that healthy? No. So maybe you're not seeing the effects day to day of the things that have happened in the past few weeks and past few months. But between COVID between, you know, everybody adjusting to being home more with their families, some some families have a lot of a lot of conflict, adjusting to, to working at home for a lot of parents, including myself, you know, managing your kids school while trying to juggle a lot of other things, the election coming up

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fear of getting sick, all these things really add up. And so it's really interesting, because when you look at the psychology of uncertainty, they've done a lot of research. And they found that the unpredictability, the uncertainty actually causes more distress, than knowing with certainty that something bad is going to happen to you. And they've replicated this with different studies. So for example, they looked at women who were getting tested for breast cancer. And they found out that the woman's anxiety levels were actually higher before the diagnosis

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versus after getting the diagnosis of breast cancer. So it's almost like the anticipation caused a lot of distress. Another, you know, example is, you know, they did a study with people who didn't know if they were going to get shocked, and people who knew they were going to get shocked. And you'd be surprised that the people who didn't know if they're going to be shocked, actually experience higher levels of stress and duress than the people who knew with certainty that something bad was going to happen. And that's because our brain is constantly assessing our environment, and compartmentalizing things. And so when we don't necessarily know what's coming next, it makes us

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feel dysregulated and makes us feel out of out of control.

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And, you know, the the most common reaction for people when things are not going right, is they tend to feel anxious.

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They might feel keyed up, or they might have difficulty breathing. The agitation, you know, it's funny that people don't realize that agitation can be a symptom of depression, but it also can be a symptom of anxiety too. You know, especially when you have like, persistent, you know, grumpiness or having difficulty, you know, interacting with people in your environment. But anyway, so when people are most people in cases of unpredictability, feel that anxiety, and people even might even take it a step further and start to almost like rationalize their anxiety. Well, you know, if I think about all the different scenarios that can happen, maybe I can predict better what's going to happen. Or

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maybe if I sit here and think, you know, I'll feel it this time, this might be subconscious, I might feel a greater sense of control over what's going to happen next. But what they found is that participating with anxiety or rumination is when you're thinking about anxious thoughts over and over, you know, in five minutes turns into 15 minutes into half an hour, we found that

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it actually not helpful. Number one, what it does is

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it inhibits problem solving. So you might think that by thinking of all these worst case scenarios, you're going to be better prepared. But it has like the opposite effect in that it clouds your judgment, and it makes it harder for you to problem solve. It makes it harder for you to even do your day to day activities. And the other thing that does is when you're participating when you could use it with anything,

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it it reinforces the neural pathways in your mind. So if you participate in anxiety, and so I just want to clarify that we don't have control over the negative thoughts that pop

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In our head or the anxious thoughts, but when we're sitting there and we're allowing ourselves, you know, and participating in it, that will actually strengthen those neural pathways and it'll be easier to, to be a will make it easier to to slip into anxiety into the future. So worrying just has this, it's almost like quicksand. You know, you kind of get in and then it's like, the more you struggle, the more you you keep going under, and so humbled that Inshallah, today we're going to be talking about a lot of different strategies, so that people are are able to, to cope with the uncertainty. And you know, something that's really empowering, especially with anxiety is that if

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you look at all the different kinds of anxiety disorders, one thing that you find in common, although like there's different symptoms, and people experience it in different ways, that there's this underlying feeling or this thought process of, I don't know that I can handle what's coming next.

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You know, whether it's panic attacks or OCD or or generalized anxiety, I don't know that I have the tools to know what's coming next. And so when people are when they're empowered and they learn different coping skills, they learn different ways to to work with their their negative thinking or their contessa catastrophizing and their worst case scenario thinking, what happens is they start to shift to, I don't know what's going to happen, but I have the tools to be able to navigate whatever happens. And that cognitive shift is so huge and so empowering, because now you're kind of letting go of that you don't know what's going to happen to the election, you don't know, we don't know

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what's going to happen with COVID over the winter. But no matter what, what happens, we you know, you're going to have those tools with you. And even for the believer, even for the Muslim knowing that,

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in addition to having the tools you have a lot initial, he's not going to

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do to give you more than than you can bear. And so combining those two things for the Muslim, Inshallah, we hope that today, after the end of the webinar, people will really feel empowered, and that we don't know what's gonna happen next. But we have a lot of tools that we can utilize to get us through this difficult time.

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I just want to remind everyone in sha Allah who's watching that they can participate on Twitter, you can hashtag give him bytes, and share your gems and of all the things amazing things you're hearing from our speakers today. You know, both Susan Edwin and Dr. Rania, they mentioned a lot about like, lack of control. And I want to get back to that. But I'm going to move on to our next guest star, so fun to talk about some of the learning mechanisms of how we can get through stress. And I'm going to get back to the other question, because I think it's really important a lot of people really feeling a lack of control these days, but hopefully, some of the practical techniques that we can take will

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help us overcome some of that uncertainty inshallah. So, just so you know, what are the coping mechanisms that a person can really take to support themselves through stressful situations that they're going through?

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Does that go on hyaluron Chica Burnham, with an asado Salam o Allah Solina on any Osaka, Yama and Wella does that can located on to Rania, and to Nashua for your wonderful tips. You know, one of the things that was just really standing out, as you were both speaking was just this sense of having self compassion for ourselves, as we're navigating these very, you know, these these very unlikely, unpredictable, very stressful circumstances that we never could have predicted, we never could have thought that we would go through. And you know, what, what was just mentioned about like the lack of control, it's actually something that I really wanted to highlight in talking about stress and

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anxiety. And these two terms are often used interchangeably. Right? But, you know, anxiety leads our bodies into a stress response, which makes them you know, which makes it stressful, right, a stressful experience. And so they're very powerfully linked. And a lot of the same approaches are used to cope with both stressful situations, and naturally anxiety provoking situations as well. And one thing that I've really noticed when it comes to anxiety when it comes to high stress levels, is that it's often a response to feeling a lack of control, or a sense of uncertainty, and the difficulty in being able to cope with that. And that so that feeling of lack of control can get us

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to, to to a point where we're just very, very overwhelmed, right? We're thinking about all of the what ifs, right, that could possibly happen. And that builds up a sense of fear. And so what I wanted to do in just briefly is focus on a couple of key components that can contribute to our ability to cope with

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stressful situations to be able to manage the stress, ways to combat the stress. And I'm basing these off of a really beautiful area that I was listening to actually some time I was listening to a reflection on this area. And it came to mind how applicable This is to our current situation and navigating stressful situations. So in order to tilba Allah's passata is talking to to us and he says, you know, if you help him referring to the Prophet Muhammad Salem, if you help him not right, it doesn't matter, because Allah did help him when the disbelievers drove him out. And the second of the two, so this was referring to when little suicide Salem and Abu buc were being driven out of

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Mecca by the disbelievers. And so all those paths that it continues, and he says, when they were both in the cave, and he said to his companion, the province has seldom said to his companion ever walked, he said Be not sad or afraid, because surely Allah is with us. And then I'll just pass that I sat down his Sakina, he sent down this feeling of calmness and tranquility and peace upon him. And he strengthened him with forces meaning angels that they couldn't see. And he made the word of those who disbelieved lowest, while the word of Allah is patata is highest. And Allah Subhana Allah is the Almighty, the all wise. And so you know, when I was reflecting on this area, what I was thinking of

00:31:34--> 00:32:19

was, there's a psychological principle when it comes to dealing with stressful situations, and the uncertainty that tends to come up in stressful situations, which is the component of taking control of what you can, and accepting the things that you can't control the things that are not in your hands. And this area really is a beautiful reminder of encouraging us to focus on what's in our control. Because in this situation, when those who say Salem was being pushed out here in Abu Bakr didn't just sit idly right, and, you know, wait to be overcome by these people. No, they actually went, they found a cave, they hid in this cave, right? And then every Buckler was really terrified

00:32:19--> 00:33:01

during this, you know, this moment saying, you know, if they just look down, they're going to find us, and then also send them, you know, was responding to him with a sense of reassurance that he says, What can befall to have a less pancetta as the third one with him, right, so they do their part, they take control of what they can control, and then accept what is in the hands up Allah subhanaw taala, knowing that he is going to be the one to resolve it for them. Right. And so to elaborate on these two points, and how we can apply it to the stressful situations that we find ourselves in right now is, you know, understanding that when we are stressed because of a lack of

00:33:01--> 00:33:12

control, because of a sense of uncertainty, a lot of times we have unrealistic expectations, we have the expectation that we need to know what's going to happen in order to be okay.

00:33:13--> 00:33:54

And if that is an expectation that we have, then we're never going to be okay. Right? Because we never will know for with 100% Certainty what's going to happen within the next moment of the next day, right? Like I'm sitting here, you know, on this panel, and any second, my kids could walk through the door, because you know, we're all at home 24/7 with our kids, right? There's a level of uncertainty. And, you know, we have to eventually realize that having the expectation that we're going to know what's going to happen every moment is unrealistic. And it's setting ourselves up for a lot of anxiety and stress. And so, you know, the stress is often the product of basing our

00:33:54--> 00:34:19

expectations on end results of what in the sense of like impossibility, right? The idea of it's impossible to have control over everything. So we have these unrealistic expectations, rather than Shifting our focus to the things that are within our control. Right. And so, you know, the I found it really interesting, I found out that the word worry

00:34:20--> 00:35:00

comes from an old old English word, which means to strangle, right? And during these past, you know, during, like throughout 2020, particularly, I'm sure there have been times where the, the stress has been so overwhelming that it's kind of like up to your neck, right, like you feel like you're you're being strangled because of the impact that it's had on our lives, our physical bodies, our emotions, our our relationships, just everything right. And so taking a moment to realize what we can and cannot control, right to realize, yes, there's so much that is absolutely in the head.

00:35:00--> 00:35:43

Apollo's past data. But there's also we don't need to be hopeless in the idea that we can't create any change in our lives. Right. So acknowledging that we do have some control over a lot of things, especially in terms of how we respond to different events, right? So the idea that, you know, stress is maintained within us emotionally, physically, mentally, because of a sense of fear and a sense of helplessness. And so reminding ourselves that we're not helpless, right, can be very, very helpful and thinking about what steps can I take within all of these things that are stressing me out, if you're worried about the events of the upcoming election, go out and vote, right, you do your part,

00:35:43--> 00:36:25

you're worried about COVID, we do our part to take realistic precautions, right, and leave the rest of us pack data. You know, if you're finding yourself incredibly overwhelmed in your day to day life, taking one small step to make your life more livable, right, so that it doesn't, you know, you're not fully dragging yourself out of bed in the morning. But there's something one small thing that you can look forward to that day, right, these are things that are within our control, that we have the ability to change. And then the second part of that area, right where Aliss pathauto is is is talking about how he sent down the Sakina the piece, right, he took care of the promised land

00:36:25--> 00:37:10

settlement Abubaker in this situation, then this second part is realizing that, okay, there are certain things that are going to be outside of my control that I will need to accept. And also taking it one step further to realize that every single moment of every single day, I am already living that, right. Uncertainty is our norm, we just don't realize it. You know, like last week, we didn't know whether we would be alive right now. Right at this moment, right? That uncertainty is always there. But we just are kind of tricking ourselves into thinking that our lives are perfectly predictable. And that's just not really the case. SubhanAllah. And so acknowledging that, right,

00:37:10--> 00:37:55

acknowledging that, okay, there's some things I might have personal control over. And then there are other things that I have to let go of control over right, that I have to be able to surrender to unless path data. And so this, the solution to this and to be able to cope with this, because this can be very hard for a lot of people, right? It's the concept of distress tolerance, the ability to tolerate stressful situations, the ability to sit with uncertainty, the ability to tell ourselves, it's okay not to know, it's not our job to know what's going to happen tomorrow, in two minutes, it's not our job. Right? The quality of knowing what's going to happen, belongs to Allah subhanaw

00:37:56--> 00:38:22

taala alone, he's he is an ally. And right, he is the one who's intuitive, intuitively aware of everything, right? Even before they happen, he's the one who knows everything with certainty. But we don't have that quality. Right. So remembering this, and also realizing that the sooner we get to that point of being able to accept the reality of situations that we can't change, the sooner we can, like,

00:38:23--> 00:39:09

channel our energy into a positive direction, rather than fighting against something that's inevitable, right? If you find yourself complaining and struggling really deeply with the everyday things that are not changeable, realize that that's energy that's being channeled into something that can't, that can't be changed, right? So instead, acceptance allows us to channel our energy in a direction where we can actually make positive change, right. And so, you know, allowing that to be the opportunity to rely on all this path data as we're dealing with this turbulence. And then, and realize that this time is just a very, very intense reminder of the fact that, in reality, we're

00:39:09--> 00:39:24

always struggling with a degree of uncertainty, but the ability to withstand that stress is something that we can slowly start to build within ourselves, and it'll make our lives a lot richer, if we're capable of doing that. And Shan

00:39:25--> 00:40:00

Shan logic has really, you know, beautiful points that you mentioned, and one of them that actually reminded me of a Hadith of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam. And I was planning to talk about this on Thursday, so part two of this webinar series, but the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam said, you know, in order to see if the hour begins, and in one of your hands is a seedling, Minnesota, I lay up happily ever say that if they can, if they're capable of planting it before the hour begins and let them plant and it's a very interesting idea because you know, I'm

00:40:00--> 00:40:35

Imagine, the Day of Judgment begins, right? So the mountains are crumbling into dust, the skies are being torn apart, you know, the earthquakes are taking place, it's the Day of Judgment, it's terrifying. And in that situation, you know, the Prophet says, if you have a seed in your hand, now, if you plant this seed, you're not going to see it grow into a tree, you're not going to eat from its roots, you're not going to, you know, make use of its shade, you're not going to see it happen at all, because the Day of Judgment is happening in front of you, you have the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam tells you to do it. You know, part of that is, you know, don't be little any good

00:40:35--> 00:41:08

deeds, but part of that also is that this is what's in your control, right? It's not in your control that the mountains are crumbling, it's not in your control, that the day of judgment is happening, that's in the control the loss of data, Allah gave you control over the seed in your hand, and you can plant it, so go ahead and plant it. And that point is really so important is that, you know, we just keep thinking about things that are totally out of our control are these really unrealistic expectations, and that kind of sets, you know, sets us up to have stress and anxiety and so on and so forth. So, one thing that that you mentioned, as well as that, you know, stress comes out of

00:41:08--> 00:41:30

anxiety, right. So anxiety is first and then that leads us into stressful feeling stress out of anxious situations. So let me turn to Nedre. Since we know this, what are the practical techniques, overcoming anxiety itself? Before we can get into, you know, before we can feel overwhelmed by stress, how do we deal with the anxiety first?

00:41:31--> 00:41:48

Yes, so I love this, the stuff that Sarah was talking about in terms of balancing acceptance, and then also taking action and controlling the things that we can control. And you know, during these really difficult times, something that is that can be very useful.

00:41:49--> 00:42:13

Actually, let's take a step back. As I mentioned before, it's developing insight to yourself is key. And so I was about to tell you about creating a wellness plan. But even before we go into that, knowing how you personally have responded to or have reacted to what's been going on, is really important and knowing what coping strategies are going to work best for you.

00:42:14--> 00:42:55

And a lot of people don't take the time to kind of reflect on themselves and how they have been impacted. So a lot of times with stress, people tend to fall in one of three categories, they might get really anxious and hyped up. Those are like the busy bodies, they're the ones that are going from one thing to another, they're always going a little sleep. And so they're coping with the unpredictability by by staying busy, and they're very active. There are some people you know, throughout the pandemic, and what's been going on, they can feel low. These are the people who, you know, are having a hard time getting out of bed, or just having a really hard time finding

00:42:55--> 00:43:22

motivation to do anything. And then there's the category of people who just feel numb. And actually, I've gotten quite a few clients, mostly in their late teens, early 20s, who are reporting feeling numb, every day feels the same every week looks the same. Like I feel like no matter what I do, nothing changes. And so it's good to take a few moments and reflect on Okay, which of those categories and some days you might or some weeks, you might, you know, be more more than one of those.

00:43:23--> 00:43:30

You might be feeling more more than one of those different categories. But you, you generally tend to have

00:43:31--> 00:43:33

one disposition. So

00:43:34--> 00:44:04

sitting in reflecting be like, You know what, actually, over the past few months, I've been pretty, I've been pretty anxious. And so knowing this can help you in developing your wellness plan. So what would a, you know, a good comprehensive wellness plan look like you want to have three components. One, you want to have good self care, you want to have good coping skills, and you want to have a plan for self growth. And while these things a lot of times

00:44:05--> 00:44:21

you know, why if you use them interchangeably, or one thing might go in multiple categories, they are different, and they're all important in their own way. So self care is something that you that you do on a regular basis to help feel like your best self.

00:44:23--> 00:44:41

And so self care can it can be drinking tea in the evening with your spouse to kind of decompress and relax from your day. It can be getting a good night's sleep, or some people might be reading and first thing in the morning. This helps them feel

00:44:43--> 00:44:46

gives them a sense of well being a sense of structure.

00:44:48--> 00:45:00

And it just kind of feeds into feeling well just the way like you brush and maintain your teeth. Self cares like brushing and maintaining your mental health hygiene, coping skills which sometimes gets confused

00:45:00--> 00:45:35

swith self care coping skills are more like, what are the things that you can do when you are when you're stressed when you're not really feeling good. And this is when it's good to go back to which one of these categories do I tend to fall into. So if you are one of those people who tends to be really anxious all the time, then you want to find coping skills that work for you. Because a lot of times with these webinars, you know, people give suggestions, and then people go home or their are home and they'll say, Oh, I tried it, it didn't work for me. So that's why you know, the Insight is important. So, if you are the anxious type, you might want to gravitate more towards things that are

00:45:35--> 00:45:38

going to bring you down. So like deep breathing, for example,

00:45:39--> 00:45:59

sitting and doing vigor after after salah, grounding, you know, and if you don't know what grounding is, you can just look it up. So these are the things that you know, have a calming effect. If you're one of the people who just feels really low and unmotivated, you might want to have coping skills that help

00:46:00--> 00:46:19

get you up. So that might be socializing, getting together with friends, getting support from from from your peers, or exercise is very good. For for depression, so might be like making, making it a routine to go on a walk, staying out in the sunlight.

00:46:21--> 00:47:04

Just staying more more active, if you're in the people who tends to feel numb, you want to engage in, you know, all the other activities, but particularly in finding ways to develop meaning and find purpose. So something that helps a lot with that is, is helping, because when you feel numb, it's like you're not feeling anything at all. And so when you go and you help others, and you see the consequences of what it is that you're doing, then you realize, okay, every day is not the same every week is not the same. So varying up your schedule, seeing or doing good deeds that are impactful. So you can see the results and see that I, I have a place in this world I can I can have

00:47:04--> 00:47:17

actions that have consequences are good consequences. And, and varying it up. So maybe one week, you might want to mentor someone, you know, online, that's the thing now, or,

00:47:19--> 00:47:45

you know, maybe the next week, you want to like give to a cause so, so seeing the results of some of the good things that that you're doing. And then the last category is self growth. In the middle of a crisis, or really difficult times, it's, it's almost like we're just focusing on on the day to day, which is natural, and it's very normal. You know, for some people say, Well, how can I even focus on self growth, if I can get myself out of bed.

00:47:47--> 00:48:02

However, you know, on the days that you are feeling better, self growth is very important because it gives your life more more meaning. Helping Others, like I mentioned, has a profound effect on on mental health,

00:48:03--> 00:48:04


00:48:05--> 00:48:08

hobbies or finding skills or finding things that

00:48:09--> 00:48:24

are good for you like learning, it could be a book or a class, helping you feel like there is growth during a time where there is a lot of chaos can make you feel like you're not just in crisis mode. It's it's

00:48:25--> 00:48:35

it's, it's a nice change. And it makes you feel more fulfilled and gives your days which might feel all the same, more meaning.

00:48:36--> 00:49:15

So having a wellness plan and then doing this in advanced, advanced so that you're not waiting until you get into the middle of a crisis. To come up with these coping skills. You want to do it at a time where you feel relatively okay. And you can make a list on your phone, or you can print it out and put it on the back of your door. Because that way, when you are having a difficult time it's not you're already in distress. It's much harder to go and be like okay, what do I need to do now versus you know what, I do have a plan, I don't really feel like myself. Today, I'm gonna go look at some of the coping skills and it just makes it that much easier for you to stick with your wellness plan.

00:49:17--> 00:49:25

Another thing that you know, is very useful during a time of a lot of unpredictability is making a list of all the things that are stressing you

00:49:26--> 00:50:00

just getting all that out from your head and putting it on paper because when it stays in your head, it can just feel so overwhelming. But somehow when you put it on paper, it's like okay, well at least I see. I see what it is that it's stressing me out. And the nice thing about that is you can then decide, can I take one one small step towards any of these things that are worrying me? And then you know make it a point to do so. Or are there things that you cannot things that are outside of your control? So you the election, at least

00:50:00--> 00:50:33

To make a commitment to make dua about it. So the things that you do have control over, you know, try to pick that one step, that next step in helping you alleviate that worry. But if you can't, then at least make dua about it. And that by itself will help you feel like you have control over some of the stressors in your life, because you're doing the things that you can, and they can do things that you can't, you're asking a lot to help Allah, I have no control over the election, I'm going to vote. But please give us the best outcome, please make it easier, please facilitate whatever is best.

00:50:34--> 00:50:37

And then while I'm on the elections, that the last thing I want to add,

00:50:38--> 00:51:20

in the next week or two, you know, people are going to be spending a lot more time online. And research really suggests that the more time we spend on social media, the worst we feel. And so as the election approaches, I know when the pandemic first happened, people were online all the time looking at death counts, just getting news that way. And it was really making people feel worse. You know, at night, people were unable to sleep because before they were, before they were sleeping, they were going on and looking at things, and they were not able to fall asleep. So as we you know, go through some as we approach the election and the winter in which you know, the Coronavirus might

00:51:20--> 00:51:59

might get worse, we have to be mindful of how much we are spending online and how much that affects our mental health. So if you know you're one of those people, that tends to get really affected by that, make a plan now that on election day, or maybe even the day before, that, maybe you'll go on online, maybe half an hour in the morning and in the evening, because realistically nothing things will develop, you know, things always develop throughout the day. But in terms of out weighing the pros and cons between your mental health and the benefit of the information that you're going to receive, which probably will not change that much. You know, in 1214 hours, if you're checking in

00:51:59--> 00:52:16

the morning, the evening, then you're not really missing out on anything. And then you're also helping preserve your your mental health. So I just wanted to add that because I know in a week or so people are going to be, you know, glued to their screens and just being mindful of how that affects their mental health.

00:52:18--> 00:52:50

Absolutely. And I think that goes back to the first thing you said is that you need to have insight about yourself, right? So if these are the things that set you off, if these are the things that really trigger, you know, unhealthy behavior or feelings that you might have, or increase your stress or increase your anxiety, then, you know, focusing on the things that if you know if you know it doesn't help, then you know, figure out a plan to make sure that you're minimizing its its influence in your life. But you don't let me let me ask you a follow up question you mentioned, you know, the wellness plan and the coping skills and the self growth. When we think of like our a bad,

00:52:51--> 00:53:19

we think about our you know, dhikr of Allah subhanaw taala? Would you incorporate that into one of those categories? Or do you incorporate them into all three, I think they could definitely be all three. And even with different forms of I bet people gravitate towards different things. So for some people part of their just like their general self care, like my self care is at least doing the vicar in the after Phaedra and melody like that, to me is like something I have to do just to get by in my day like so.

00:53:21--> 00:53:47

So you know that that could be something. But for coping, for example, I would might gravitate more towards drag. So you can have different forms of our data in different categories for self growth, you know, it might be taking a class, so I you know, I have a new interest in fescue, for example. So that could be myself growth. And I'm really glad that you brought that up. Because a lot of times with our wellness plans, we do focus on a lot of

00:53:48--> 00:53:59

you know, psychological tactics, which are very useful. But you know, us as Muslims, integrating those, those systemic tools are, you know, are essential.

00:54:00--> 00:54:18

So the SEC law can move on and talk to Dr. Rania. So we talked about, you know, how to overcome stress, we talked about, you know, mechanisms and tools to overcome anxiety, what can we do to build resiliency that we're, you know, we become more resilient people that, you know, not,

00:54:19--> 00:54:57

not everything creates feelings of anxiety within us. You know, we said, you know, anxiety leads to stress, but how do we make sure that like, you know, events aren't easily creating anxiety, and it's how do we build, you know, stronger internal resilience to the external factors that we face in our lives? Wonderful question. Thank you, Chef Brahim. And thank you and everyone sort of both sent out 100 Rahim, I think this concept, what I'd like to do is actually come back to, in answering your question, come back to your point that's not actually brought up related to the concept of uncertainty, tolerance, or for many people, it's actually uncertainty in tolerance. It's having a

00:54:57--> 00:55:00

really, really hard time. Actually taller

00:55:00--> 00:55:36

reading what we don't know when I think that's how I would like to answer your question related to how do we build up resiliency better. Interestingly enough, the Brain Institute put together a really wonderful series of studies actually, that we just recently helped analyze, along with my lab at the Stanford Muslim mental health lab. And uncertainty and tolerance was one of these main points that we actually focused on. And what's so interesting to me related to the pandemic and everything that's happened, because this is in the context of COVID-19, that we found that the folks who actually had higher levels of uncertainty tolerance, they were able to actually tolerate the

00:55:36--> 00:55:54

uncertainty all around them, we are more likely to be psychologically well, and actually be able to have higher levels of resiliency that we're going to talk about here. And be and those who had a higher level of uncertainty, intolerance, they couldn't actually handle a lot of internal uncertainty, rather,

00:55:55--> 00:56:01

their chances of falling into major depressive disorder MDD, or major depressive disorder,

00:56:02--> 00:56:40

was increased by 60%. So it's a very high level. And this is actually, interestingly enough, we found that it was regardless of how religious or non religious they were. Now, the religious part ends up actually being something like this hanging on to spiritual resiliency, like parts of the deen, that teach us how to become more resilient in Islam is so holistic and wonderful. And this one in which he talks quite a bit about being holistically resilient, we actually found that that actually helped things better and better. So for example, Islam teaches us that certainty can only be with the last final data point, that's what I made earlier. And uncertainty only lies in the

00:56:40--> 00:57:17

hands of a law. So what natural was saying about then in that case, you kind of let go of the things that you cannot handle, you do not have control over and only Allah subhanaw taala has that control. And what that means, then, if we look at the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. And the way he actually spoke of these things, and taught us these things, is where we start to learn how to become more resilient people. So here, I'm going to turn to some of the Hadith and some of the, you know, what I call essentially, for me, the spiritual aphorisms that I'm always like, reaching back to and actually holding on to, but if you look at how the Prophet sallallahu wasallam spoke of this

00:57:17--> 00:57:52

concept of how do you become someone who is resilient? Because you don't know exactly what's happening? The first thing I want to say is he didn't shame, emotions in any way. So we Today we've been talking a lot about, you know, anxiety and depression and feeling stress and, you know, coping with all of this uncertainty around us. But what's really important here is, you have so many stories and we don't have time of course, to go through them all. But so many incidents in the story of the Sita of the prophets, Allah lives in an himself where there was a lot of uncertainty, not just here in this beautiful IO from Saratoga. And And often what she would then learn from the

00:57:52--> 00:57:56

Prophet and his Hadith and the rhetoric that we learned from his lesson.

00:57:57--> 00:58:24

Sita is that he would always say, you know, Raja Ben, I'm going to me, right, like, it's a wonderous thing to have belief in the affairs of a believer right in the middle who could no hide, right? But all of a believers affairs are actually hired, they're all good. And then the Hadith goes on to say, if good happens to them, and they thank Allah for it, then this is better for them. But if something negative actually happened, something unexpected on Cerner, it happens to them.

00:58:25--> 00:59:04

And the person is patient with it, then this also is good for them. And I think a lot of people have a hard time figuring out well, how is the bad stuff? Good, you know, how does this end up being good. And this is where the prophets Allah, Islam, and other a hadith kind of follows up and explaining that to us. And reminding us that this dunya is going to be a dunya this world is meant to be a place of tribulation and trials, we're often reminded of that, and the Hadith that says, you know, minneota delay will be late and you know, like whoever Allah subhanaw taala wishes, good for hired from that he actually is going to send them afflictions, and in some translations, they say

00:59:04--> 00:59:41

that better him or her better some. And I think that's really hard. Because here what you're seeing a lot of people are like, I don't want the bad stuff. But it turns out for a believer that that stuff, quote unquote, is actually good, because and this is where the the some of the profits lesson reframes it. And I don't mean to be a little this, and I don't mean to make small or belittle people suffering true suffering and difficulties, but rather, the reframing the cognitive reframing, is what we'd call it today in our field, right, actually taking something that seemingly is negative, and then turning it into seeing the silver linings. And in our research, we kept finding over and

00:59:41--> 01:00:00

over the people who were able to take COVID-19 for example, and see the silver lining see the blessings in it. See the small things right in the midst of this global pandemic, are the ones who are more resilient and the ones who were actually able to get through day to day better and see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you will even

01:00:00--> 01:00:39

We don't know exactly when this is going to end and how it's going to end and so on and so forth. And this concept of you know, suffering or difficulty or pain is something that the prophets Allah s&m taught us, in his concept of cognitive reframing right taught us that you could have somebody, Islamic belief is you can have somebody who is deeply suffering, but is also deeply beloved to Allah subhanaw taala. Because Allah is going to test though those who he loves the most right at starting with the prophets and onwards. Subhanallah so you know, when you think about all of this, and you put it all into perspective, and our Samick kind of understanding our RFP that are created what we

01:00:39--> 01:01:12

believe and we understand as Muslims, you start to that, understand that this is why the Prophet didn't shame, you know, any of these emotions, and we split them negative. Unfortunately, we have this terrible thing of splitting emotions into like, good emotions and bad emotions, you know, that these are bad things, you shouldn't do them, you shouldn't feel down, you shouldn't feel anxious, you shouldn't feel stress, and then good emotions, feeling happy, and so on and so forth. But in reality, the prophets, this is not the way the Prophet SAW I said, he actually in get in teaching us things, resilience taught us, all emotions are from Allah subhanaw taala. Right, he allowed us to

01:01:12--> 01:01:47

have sorrow and feel it, he allowed us to have pain and feel it. And therefore it's about what you do with it. So and this is I'm going to have to give this pitch, as you know, in my case, a psychiatrist, and for the other therapists that are aligned, I think we are all going to have to give this in a session about stress and coping, and handling anxiety and stress is to say like, you know, the Hadith of the prophets have symbolized that and for me, it's clear that if you're dealing with any of these, you need to get help. And that's part of making sure you're resilient. Your your, your, your well resiliently. Well, I suppose that you're keeping up with that resilience. And so you

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know, the Hadith for me, where it says Tada, worry about the law, like seek out treatments, oh, servants of God, like seek them out. And the Hadith, we know, usually, we know the rest of the Hadith, which talks about, that Allah has not sent down an illness unless he's also sent its cure, right, like together with it, there'll be a cure, and it's up to us as humanity to really find those cures. But the point here is seeking them out because Allah will not send us something that we cannot get through. So then all of this kind of thinking about the difficulties we as a humanity, are actually going through, to remind ourselves and this is what I call the spiritual aphorisms.

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When I I'll share some of my own, that I kind of always go back to and hold on to, and I encourage everybody to find their own, to kind of go back through, you know, the Hadith and the idea to put it on and the different parts, and maybe their aphorisms that are not even religious, per se. You know, like some people, some things get people through, right, that are not necessarily religious, like, you know, take it one day at a time or, you know, this too shall pass these kind of concepts, right? These are all called aphorisms, find the ones that speak to you and kind of hold on to them. For me, they happen to come from the Quran, because that's really, really what speaks to me and I'll share

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it you know, the ones and I think we mentioned them briefly earlier, you know, now you can love when Epson in Nosara, right, that Allah is not going to burden a soul more than it can bear this as a promise. But Allah spawns on it has given to us and so when it feels really, really, really tough in the world, because feels like it's caving in on me, you know, I find myself saying this over and over to kind of like, find that strength and resiliency through it.

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Another one, you know, when you see bene Illa microtube, Allahu Allah Anna is another one that I really kind of hold on to quite a bit, but nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has already ordained for us. And that is that concept of only certainty and the reality of all things is in the hands of Allah subhanaw taala so what's there like the Hadith says, right, what's there is already been written, and the pens of the ink of the pens have been lifted and the ink is dried, right? It's already there. What's on me is to fill in the caps of figuring out how to actually deal with with come to me with that kind of resilience in sha Allah to Allah. So, you know, I and often

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I'll say, a third one for me often I'll in following the bliss, it's another Prophet salallahu Salam that whenever it's, I'm stuck, and I don't really know how to deal with what's happening in the moment. Have some news that's come to me. It's often saying, you know, Lando Quaid, that in sha Allah, whatever this is, will be high, it will be good for me based on that first Hadith that inshallah good or bad that reframing that until it's actually a good thing. And I'll end just my favorite, one of my favorites were the prophets. Allah said, I was speaking to him in our bus. He was a young person at the time and he's kind of teaching him words of wisdom or aphorisms, if you

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will, to say whenever things are kind of difficult,

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and just teaching him in general, just how to be in the world. So to me that's like, how do you teach somebody to be resilient? So we'll end with that insha Allah where he says, you know, be mindful of Allah and you'll find him in front of you. Right? The hadith starts out like that right? They mindful of Allah you'll find him in front of you recognize and acknowledge Allah subhanaw taala in times of ease

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and prosperity healer remember you in times of adversity, right? This is a very beautiful kind of, well, you know, concept here like remember when things are easy so that you're remembered when things are hard Subhanallah and then you know how it goes on, you know that whatever has passed by you, like whatever has kind of missed you, if you write was never going to befall you in the first place, and that whatever has befallen you was not going to pass you by, it was already written for you. And I think these words are very, very helpful to kind of ground us and to really think about, what is it that Allah subhanaw taala wants from us? Because it's always like, it's always good. But

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how do we reframe what sometimes seems seemingly not so good. My last point, I'll allow us to be able to see the wisdom and the things that come through to us and see the silver linings and get us through them in shot, let's add

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a logistic loss here. You know, there's so many things you mentioned that I just felt like, Oh, that's really good point, I want to say something about that, oh, that's a really good point, let's say something about that, oh, you know, we're running short on time. So the one thing that I do want to, you know, maybe emphasize and get, you know, get you to talk a little bit more about is, you know, the idea of getting help. And, you know, we talked already about how people are, you know, they're working from home, they're home all the time, and it's so easy to get isolated. And, you know, it's so easy to just be by yourself all the time. And I think that kind of, you know,

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exasperates a lot of the situations that people are feeling because, you know, if you're not going to reach out and get help from a therapist, sometimes, you know, just having conversation with a friend sometimes can lift some of the anxiety that we're facing, but if we're not even having that, and things become even more difficult, and you know, we know in our deen, you know, so slightly, having good friend friends for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala, the Prophet said, you know, one of the people, the categories of people will be given shade on the day of judgment or two people love each other for the sake of Allah, Hadith, the prophet slice, and then two people who love each other

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for the sake of Allah, the best of them as the one who loves the other one more intensely. So your love for another person is, you know, something that will increase your state and gender inshallah so, you know, just for you to just love for you to add a little bit more about this for people, you know, what tips, could you give people about working from home and feeling isolated during these times? Yeah, absolutely. Michelle. And, interestingly enough, I just had a student earlier this week told me, you know, since the quarantine started, I think he's been out of his apartment three times or something to that effect. And I said, Well, no wonder, I wonder things are really kind of falling

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apart here. So Pamela, and I think it's like you said, it's really super easy to have to say, Oh, one more important thing here. I have found and I'm sure some of you probably have found the same that those of us who are more introverts,

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you know, unfortunately fall into the fallacy of falling of isolating ourselves and feeling like hey, this is good. And mashallah natural. You said earlier, like, but is it it's not really right, this is actually not healthy, this quote unquote, new normal. And so sometimes, really pushing ourselves to make sure we actually are, you know,

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not only seeing people and checking in on our loved ones, but actually making an effort in safe social distance, you know, very careful with with all the measures we're supposed to take for for COVID-19. But actually seeing people and in one possible praying in congregation again, many of the massages are somewhat open, right, so many of the jamas are available in certain circumstances, you know, taking precautions, but when these things become available, I really encourage folks to take part in them. Inshallah, we are built to be even the introverts, most of us, were built to be congregational, human beings are bent, or we need community, we actually need people. And not just

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like you said, it's not just, you know, your family members, not just your therapist, which I'm hoping everybody at this point realizes the importance of therapists, but in reality, also, it's meeting each other as sisters and brothers. And, you know, and I, and one of my teachers, subhanAllah, she would often say, she had, you know, one day somebody is going to quantify this, because we've already been talking about, like, getting out into nature. And she would say, it's not really called Nature therapy, but the point here is, you know, going out into reality, and she would say, even if you just touched a leaf, or like, you know, a tree, and so on, and just, you know, kind

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of like, burst that bubble of this world that we're in which for many people, it's a very tech oriented world we're in, we're tuned in on the screens, practically 24/7, except a few hours, we're sleeping. And, and when we're not, it's it's very much virtual, and it's become so much more so in COVID. So we're losing sense, literally, literally losing sense of reality around us. So I encourage folks to, to do that. And to make sure that they're not isolating, even if it feels like Oh, great. I don't have to socialize. Right? That's actually more problematic, and to really get out into nature. And if it means this is when you do you're the kid as you're walking, taking a walk or a run

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or biking around.

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I really encourage that or if it's just simply

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getting fresh air, that all of that is going to be important and necessary for our well being moving forward, however long this takes and show all the time. So the executive log here, I want to thank all of our participants, all of our guests for their time and joining us, I know that their time is in high demand and we really appreciate them, giving us some of their time and their wisdom. And

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you know, just their guidance during these really difficult times. It was a treat for me personally to hear so many of the amazing tips and lessons that we got from all of our guests may allow us to add it to all of their good deeds on the day of judgment. And may Allah subhanaw taala reward all of you for watching us and for following us and I hope Inshallah, they are able to participate on Twitter, you could use the hashtag, if the invites inshallah to share anything that you learned from this session that you thought was beneficial for you in sha Allah. We have another session this is a two part series. The next session will be on Thursday, same time 8pm Eastern 7pm Central time in sha

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Allah, Chef, Abdullah, Guru, Dr waver engine and inshallah Shahar city man will be on that session. Shall Homer was supposed to be leading this session but he had a family matter to attend to We ask Allah subhanaw taala to give health to all of his family ask all of you in sha Allah to keep him in his family and your DUA as well being Allah. So hopefully we'll see all of you on Thursday. Zachman Lochhead for joining us and cinema have a coma.