Attaching to Allah #02 How Do You Handle Rejection And Ridicule

And I was so hurt because so many people there knew me and acted like they loved me. And there they were silent and not in my defense

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so up until this moment of being thrown into a fire, Ibrahima Islam, you know, he's threatened every once in a while. But at the end of the day, I mean, he's still walking freely amongst his people, and he's not being harmed. He's not being ridiculed. Now, one of the things about every single prophet of Allah without exception is that they were slandered and ridiculed could zebu, right, whether they were killed or not, that's a different story. But all of them had some sort of denial, some sort of lie against them, to discredit them. And when you're looking at Ibrahim alayhis salam, even though he was spared from the fire, the wounds of that moment are still there, there's still

something there that is going to harm him, and that he's going to hold with him that takes him into that next part of his journey. And we see that even with the Prophet salallahu Salam, right, what was harder on the messenger SallAllahu sallam, it wasn't

over five, even though he was physically wounded more than five, he was almost killed. So the line he was on them, they thought he was dead. But But if because thought of comes with a whole package, of humiliation of ridicule of the words that were said to him, salario seven of the people that wouldn't even look at him of the spirit of the humiliation of the fact that he had no one to turn to no one's carrying him the way they're carrying him. And it's just him and Allah subhanaw taala. So Can any of you reflect on sort of a moment in your life where you feared ridicule, and that Allah brought you through something, and it wasn't as severe as it was going to be, or you conquered

something in that regard, where it was just you, but you overcame that fear? I definitely had multiple situations. But I think I'm gonna go with when I was teaching, I always tell you keep away from the teachers lounge, because that's where the gossip happens. And I was in the middle of doing an experiment, and I had to run into the lounge to get some kind of item. And all of a sudden, everybody that was in there just went quiet.

And you all know what that means, you know? And I was like, okay, you know, and I told everybody, I was like, Wait, Is everybody okay? They're, like, one of the, one of the people there said, we were just talking about you.

And I was shocked. Because how are you going to say this, like, in front of me? And so

the sad part is, it was a bunch of Islamic Studies and teachers. And so I was like, trying to think like, okay, what can I say, to get out of this so that I don't, you know, I just, I want to think good about them. So, I said no, in sha Allah, it was good things.

And unfortunately, they said, No, it was not.

And I was so hurt, because so many people there, knew me and acted like they loved me. And there, they were silent, and not in my defense. So I walked out trying to teach the rest of my class. And I remember thinking, like, I mean, I just got had some math, that's good.

But I also thought, like, wow,

this really hurts, you know, this, this is something that is going to be really hard for me to go through and I had to I had to go back tell us about that. I definitely had to cry about it. And I think emotions like that. Sometimes we don't give each other the space for it. You know, especially for me, I didn't have the space for it. In that moment. I had to go back to teach you know. And so in that moment, I needed to just say like has to be alone. I'm in wiki like just I was trying to Allah put put peace in my heart right now. I don't want to think ill of anyone. Let me be you know, not it wasn't even about being the bigger person. It was just I want to be at peace.

And this is something that I can only imagine that bragging rights Anam shows in such a more elevated place, you know, like, he has a whole community talking bad about him, behind his back and in front of his back and that that

I can only imagine, this is probably an inkling of a feeling of what he was feeling. And I think that humanization is important of the, of the prophets, because they have feelings too. And, and sometimes we look up to them and say, Look, well, they did it. And that's how we should act. But we subtracted the feeling that maybe wasn't necessarily expressed, but was there. So that was my story. I think it's very interesting that you comforted yourself, initially by saying, Well, I just got some Hassan that I just got some good deeds, because if you think about it, that's really the mindset of the believer is that they take the pain in this world, even if that pain is not physical

pain again, and they channel it towards Allah subhanaw taala, seeking a reward in the Hereafter, you know, that I'm not happy. Like him Allah saying, you know, if I didn't want people to sin, I would hope that everyone in the world back by didn't mean because what sweeter than finding a good deed on your record on the day of judgment that you didn't even know about? Right? Like, where'd all this come from? Well, these people were talking about you and these people, but at the same time, it doesn't feel good when you're in the moment. And even the prophets I said of them, you know, it hurt him a lot as he acknowledges, that layer has wound, it actually causes you Hosen it causes you

sadness, what they say, you know, they're saying things that cause you sadness. Let's have a look at the mechanism. And this is actually pretty amazing because what Ibrahim is that I'm do when I took his any Yomi your iPhone, Allah don't disgrace me on the day that were resurrected. Right? He took that day and he understands that this is a very temporary moment. It hurts being thrown into the fire being stripped, but he says whatever tools he needs to move through and don't humiliate me on the last day, and Allah honors him as we know with a garment on that day, the first person to be quote, on the Day of Judgment is a boy he might be brought in front of everyone and clothed in a

beautiful way. And that do, interestingly enough, you find it in our do as as well, whether to Xena, Yeoman Akiyama. You know, when we're calling upon Allah subhanaw taala, as we're taught in the Quran, do not disgrace us on the Day of judgments do not disgrace us on the Day of Judgment. And Allah says, Yo Mala yo Zilla who Nabhi Well, Lavina Armand O'Meara, the day that Allah Subhana Allah, Allah will not disgrace the Prophet and those that believe with him. So it's really powerful because you know, what is Kizzy? What is true humiliation, right in the command to the hidden now for those that you enter into the fire, those are the people that are really humiliated. That's true

humiliation because everything else, just like every other pain is temporary. Right? But we're in the moment, it doesn't feel that way. Right. When you're in the moment you hurt. Do you think it's okay to ask Allah subhanaw taala to spare you from humiliation in this world as well? Well, yeah, I think humiliation looks different to different people. But I, I would say humiliation in this world. To me would be anything that would disgrace me in front of Allah as well. So I don't know. Interesting. Can you elaborate on that? I, I'm just thinking of all the times that there is a moment where I needed to act on something that was required justice. And if I was meek or not fought,

right, and defense, not defensive, but rather, putting the right you know, actions forward. And even though it might hurt me.

I find that that's humiliating to me to be put in a space where I could have helped create more justice, and I didn't, that I find is humiliation. I also don't think that

it's what I lost my dad, I would have wanted.

Anyone else is there. Just to add to what you said, and just taking a, you know, a step back.

I think secretly, everybody worries about, you know, being humiliated. And you know,

they're afraid of it, they're worried that you know, some somehow they'll say something, they'll do something. And somehow, you know, there'll be humiliated for it.

So, absolutely. And you know, the DUA we make a Lahoma stood out it like one of the duels that we make, to Allah is to cover up our faults, and that is because indirectly we're worried about being affiliated. So that is why I think it's absolutely, I think, as a Muslim, you know, we make the bow for it, in the, in this dunya, and the hereafter, and that's one of the things where the prophets why Selim is do is are so beautiful and comprehensive, are also becoming busier. Dunya why, why he would seek refuge in Allah from humiliation in this life and punishment in the hereafter. Because no one wants that right. But at the same time, where is the key difference between the believer and the

one

And who doesn't have something to anchor them? In the midst of that ridicule? What are you ha funa Loma Tila, they don't fear the blame of the blamer, meaning the blame of the blamer will not be enough to stop them from pursuing the reward of the Most High. And so the scholars say that you bring it back to this, you compare the praise of Allah to the praise of others, and you find more sweetness in the praise of Allah than the praise of others. And then you compare the blame of Allah to the blame of others. If my Lord were to punish me, or to call me to account for something I have done, to if people were to call me to account or punish me or ridicule me, for something I'm doing

right, you compare the blame. So the praise from Allah is sweeter than the praise of others. The blame from Allah is more bitter than the blame of others. And then the punishment of Allah is harsher, more severe than the punishment of people for doing the right thing. And then you sort of package that all together. And there is that, you know, I'm not going to compromise, the praise of Allah, for the praise of people, I'm not going to risk the punishment of Allah, for fear of the punishment of people. And I'm not going to let that fear of humiliation and disgrace in this life, drive me to a place where I end up being disgraced and dishonored in the next life. And at the same

time, subhanAllah what we find is that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam, he sought refuge from humiliation in both worlds, and while he suffered in this life for some time, and while you still have people that will say things about himself, Allah Hardy, who was salam, right, the sweetness of all of these people that are following him, sal Allahu he was right overcomes all of that. Subhanallah the last thing he saw in this life was what? His followers knowing that there will always be some people that will speak about him. But at the end of the day, what are you seeking, he was always doing it for Allah subhanho wa taala. And when those people harmed him, he knew that he

always had a reward to look forward to, from Allah subhanho wa taala. So Sr. Sada, wanting to be seen in a positive light by others is pretty natural. But obviously, you can't let that drive you and your decision making. So how do you find a healthy balance when facing criticism from others, especially when it's from those that you love. It's definitely a natural human emotion, to want to be accepted by others, to want to have a sense of belonging, to want people that you care about to be happy with you and to be pleased with you.

Even when the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu sallam was experiencing so much hatred coming from so many different places, unless pancetta actually comfort him by saying, you know, we know that you're saddened by what they say, right? If he's validating the emotion of we know that it's hard, you know, all this path that a knows that it's hard when the people that you care about are criticizing you and are against you. But one of the antidotes that's so powerful. And it's mentioned in this verse, where Elizabeth says, We know you're saddened by what they say, but they're not turning away from you. Right? They're turning away from the truth, right, they're turning away from the truth of

our, our verses SubhanAllah. And that's one of the things that I think is really helpful to remember when you're facing criticism is that criticism a lot of times is actually more of a reflection of the person doing the criticizing than it is a reflection of you. And as a human being as a person, your actions. And so separating that can be, can be very helpful. And that's something that Ibrahim ani said, and we see in his story he does so beautifully Subhan Allah where he's realizing that the criticism that he's facing from people has to do with the fact that they're rejecting the truth, and not necessarily has to do with him as a person personally. And so you can depersonalized that which

is very, very powerful. Mashallah, and then also realizing, and Ebrahim is that I'm a SHA, Allah does this so beautifully, is realizing that a lot of times, people's opinions of others do not align with the value that Allah Subhana Allah assigns a person. And we see that in the example of so many of the prophets, that so many people turned against them, they're struggling with, with the perception of the people around them, but they are the most beloved people to illustrate data. So realizing that the value assigned by people is not the same as the value assigned by ALLAH SubhanA data and so if you're prioritizing Allah, then you're winning. You're winning at the end of the day

and you realize like Ibrahim on a set um, when he's catapulted into a fire Subhan Allah, he's realizing that Allah subhanaw taala is at Aziz

He's the one who who is the the source of all honor. He's LMI is the one who bestows that, you know, that honor. And so when we realize that that can be a very powerful way of being able to survive dealing with criticism. So can you reflect back on a time when your reputation was on the line, but you still found the resilience to get through that and found the laws reward? Please share with us in the comments.