Marriage – It’s not just about rights #07

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Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen or salat wa salam ala rasulillah ala alihi wa sahbihi ultramarine and my bad.

We begin In the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala. We praise Him and we request praises and blessings upon Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to my dearest brothers and sisters in Islam. I greet you with the greetings of Islam, the greetings of peace and the greetings of the people of Paradise Salah mala alikum warahmatu, who are Bearcat, who made the Peace and blessings of Allah subhanho wa Taala be upon you all. I welcome you all to episode number seven of our short little hijjah series together, the hedge and the family, common foundations. In today's episode, brothers and sisters in Islam, I want to talk to you all about the Haram and try and draw parallels between the idea of the

Haram and

the Muslim couple, the husband and wife, the foundation of the Muslim home. And remember, we are talking about common foundations between the hedge and the family, and how we can look at the hedge and the days of hedge and the family of Ibrahim alayhis salam, and better the family unit and bring it closer to the idea preached by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam regarding the ideal Muslim family. When we talk about the Haram brothers and sisters in Islam, we talk about this idea of us entering into a state and that's how we find the lessons pertaining to the Haram come across. They say you are entering into the state of Iran. Okay, what is entering into the state of Iran mean? It

means that you are entering into a state whereby there are restrictions, there were things that were permissible for you before you entered into the state of Iran. And now once you are in the state of a firearm, those permissible things are impermissible until you come out of the state of a firearm. Now, you can imagine from this that the state of a firearm isn't referencing wearing the to white cloth for a male, right because this is applying to both the idea applies to both the male and the female. Wearing the two cloths for the male is due to us being in the state of a heart, or you're not allowed to be in the in the state of a firearm with sound clothing. So before you get into the

state, you remove Sound Cloud clouds that you are wearing, and you adorn yourself with that many people misunderstand what it means when we say you enter the state of Iran, they think it's about wearing the two cloths of Yes, the two cloths that you wear during the hydro Armada are known as the cloths of Iran. But they're known as that because you have to be wearing that or similar to not go against the idea of or the rules of the state of Iran when you enter the state of Iran. And that rule is that you shouldn't be wearing sound clothing. So you're entering a state. But brothers and sisters in Islam, is it just about having a mindset that I've entered the state?

Right that I'm in the state. So these are the do's these are the don'ts. And then when I come out of the state, then then these will be the do's and these will be the top is it just about that. It's far more than that brothers and sisters and it's not because there's lessons and wisdoms governing us being in that state. And when we enter the state of your hora, we have to see beyond it just being a circumstance that we are in, but rather we need to see it as an experience as a journey as a school. Right? Because from the lessons of the harm, no doubt

is the lesson that if we can stay away from that which is permissible for a period of time, then no doubt, we can stay away from that which is impermissible from the outset. If Allah subhanho wa Taala has made something permissible or impermissible for a period of time, and because and due to this, we we oblige, right we follow the rules, then this means that we are teaching ourselves that we can follow the rules that if we can stay away from Thailand for a period of time, right because of Allah's command, and we can stay away from haram throughout because of Allah's command. Why do I say this? Because no doubt brothers and sisters in Islam, it's easier to stay away from it. It's harder,

it's harder to stay away from Hillel that it is harder. Somebody might say this this sounds strange. How can that be true? It's surely it's harder to stay away from Haram.

Right? And the opposite is true brothers and sisters in Islam because if you do halaal Allah builds your agenda. So to stay away from the opportunity of your paradise being built should be harder and on the other side of

harem is the fire of jahannam. So you already have a deterrent. So in reality, it should be should be staying away from haram should be more difficult because on the other side of it is the Hellfire and punishment and doom and gloom, and disaster and catastrophe. But on the other side of Hillel is Jenna and more beautiful gentlemen. So, with this context, you would say it's harder to stay away from halal and haram and if I am staying away from halal because of the command of Allah for a period of time, then surely I should be able to stay away from Haram, you proving to yourself the state that you are in has wisdoms that we need to focus on these wisdoms. Now, we can go on

discussing this whole idea of Iran. But given that we are confined by time, and we want to connect this to the family, let's let's take the idea of of a firearm and bring it across to the marriage, the Muslim marriage, right, the Muslim husband and the Muslim wife and the Muslim man taking a wife under his covenant. And by doing so, they both enter a state a different state to the to the harem state because in this state, what was previously haram becomes halal for the period that they remain in the state Subhan Allah, right. So there's a parallel here.

When you in when when you are in the state of Iran, there's rights and responsibilities upon when you get married. And a covenant exists between a man and a woman. There's rights and responsibilities that also exists between them. Right? Now, as we said, it shouldn't be about us having this do and don't mindset when you are in the state of harm for hygiene Amara, in the same way brothers and sisters in Islam, it shouldn't be a mindset of do and don't when you are in the state of the covenant of marriage after marriage, but rather, we need to look at the wisdoms we need to go beyond the rules because there's always wisdoms, beyond the rules. And when we do so brothers

and sisters in Islam, do we move from the platform of rights onto the platform of responsibility? Right, this is important, we move from the platform of rights onto the platform of responsibility. And this is what the state of Haram is trying to bring into our lives to make us see beyond just rights and make us see with the vision of responsibility. And marriage to do the same. The state of marriage should push us towards having the vision of responsibility as well because we shouldn't just be focusing on my right and your right as a husband and a wife but look at the wisdoms behind the concept of marriage. And earlier we said in earlier episodes that marriage is about us

testifying that Allah exists and is the only one worthy of worship. Now what do I mean by rights and responsibilities? Well, rights brothers and sisters in Islam, we find them in the books of Islamic jurisprudence, right? And they formulate the basis of the relationship. But who said that Islam told us that a marriage should exist upon the base rules and regulations, the basic idea of the relationship. No one said this, right. And if anyone says that Islam does, then the idea that rebuttals them is the marriage, marriage and marriages of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam because we see that he sallallahu alayhi wasallam existed in his marriages upon the platform of

responsibility. And he wanted that from his wives as well. writes, we go to when push comes to shove, when the future is looking bleak, when oppression is creeping in. And now we need to lift the fog and understand exactly who's right and exactly who's wrong. And sometimes both are wrong. But to what extent is a party wrong? And to what extent is another party not now we look at the rights. But ideally, we should live as a couple based on the ideas of the state of the marriage, like we said, the ideas of the state of the harem. And these ideas push us towards being responsible towards each other, that it might be you're right that your husband does something to you. And you're right, that

your wife does something for you. But it's your responsibility, that you forego that right, and you act upon it, you act with benevolence, and this is where responsibility comes in. Let me give you an example to make this clear, because it's always theoretical until we bring a practical example. Let's look at Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam with Khadija or Viola and when he married her she had the house he didn't have the house. Do we see her demanding rent from him? saying it's your it's my right that you put a house over my head? Do we see this? We don't see this. She was she was a responsible wife. This is what promotes love, within the spouse towards another. Do we see the

let's take for example, Khadija she had a daughter called hint, right? As Ibn katheer and

others mentioned in the historical accounts of the Sierra. They mentioned that she had a daughter called Hindi and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam looked after Hindi as if hynd was his own daughter.

Was it his right to behave like that nobody was responsible.

And Khadija witnesses this, and imagine what love she feels for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And then later on, when the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam

requests for it to be brought into his household because he wants to be responsible towards about it. But we looked after him when he was young and had a big family and he wasn't doing, he was struggling financially meaning not struggling, but a big family requires a lot of resources. So he wanted to lessen the burden on everybody and bring it into his home. Do we see her complaining? and saying, no, it's my right that we live together? This is my house that he stays out if he comes here, where will our privacy be? When we spend time to do we see all this? There's no voice of hijjah in this way, in the history, history of Islam. Subhan Allah. So this is the idea of brothers

and sisters in Islam, right? growing this parallel the common foundations between the harem of hedge, which puts us in a state, but the idea goes beyond the state, and the marriage, which brings a couple into a state. But the idea goes beyond the state Subhan Allah. And this is we need to think about those brothers and sisters in Islam, especially during these noble days, these days of hedge the best days of the year. How can we better our relationships by being responsible with each other? Right? And not only dealing with each other, as if we want a scorecard system, and it's all about rights, and I win here, and you win there, and you got yours today, and I'm gonna get mine tomorrow.

This is not a marriage, brothers and sisters in Islam. Alright, I leave you with these words to ponder over. you contemplate your marriage or your idea of marriage and think about what I'm saying. and use it as a yardstick to figure out how you can develop yourself and in developing yourself. You develop the family as a whole. I love you all for the sake of until next time.

Love, Love

Love, love.