Qa With And Imam Zijad Delic Love And Marriage
Channel: Said Rageah
File Size: 15.96MB
Episode Transcript ©
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So in any other questions, make sure that when you write them down and customer Sharla
it would be greatly appreciated.
I didn't get a text message. So that's good.
Please don't ask us difficult questions, it's too late.
So we have a few questions that have come in and there's still an opportunity for more
children around the world really good questions.
which comes from a
belief that says the reverse is going to snap
to level so please explain the phrase marrying someone for the sake of alarm. Today, many youngsters say that they want to marry for quote unquote Allah sake, but they choose the partners who don't offer solid medical practices after marriage. And I guess this is something which is not
uncommon, where we heard about the concept of, you know, falling in love. And the person
falls in love with is particularly practicing a lot of times the youngsters or those who are looking to get married
inshallah can help them improve their dirtiness the afternoon. So she continues it says here and I noticed that those who don't have facade
a someone who is not Muslim means community.
Is that is that I noticed? Right.
So, so that's the question. So maybe someone for the sake of the concept, the idea
of getting it, I guess this goes to the broader There's another question, but let's go one by one.
Notice the same concept, so which is
before marriage, and
the, the young people who are born in love may fall in love with someone who is a Muslim, but perhaps the parents or the family feel is not the best choice or the best person due to x y and Zed z.
What approach should be taken? What's the balance there?
See if we can have both of you. For the
beautiful Ah, yeah.
When we when we say See, question of intention is
when we cannot interfere into intentions people, when people say that they are marrying for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala we really don't know Are they really doing it or they're just saying it intentions are something what we don't have right to interfere in or with.
But I know for sure what I what I've seen and what I see on on everyday basis.
Many young people, they get to know one another, they fall in love. And, and then there is marriage
In reality, which is very obvious, and we know it, that sometimes there is no compatibility between a boy and a girl in terms of religion, but they love one another.
It could be 100 it could be positive, but it could also turn tough in the long run, when compatibility is also very much important when when when people are married, specifically religious compatibility. When I when I cited the the the divorce rate, one of the reasons why there is much of divorce in Muslim communities incompatibility, religious incompatibility,
husband praise, why doesn't pray and vice versa, my friend's husband doesn't pray, and then there is a conflict.
I personally believe that no matter how much they are distant
differences, you're never married, there is no way that you can marry the right one.
You make the right one.
So, marriage is a long process where two people are working with one another.
And no matter at once, when I'm married, and my wife does or doesn't do it's my job, my duty my responsibility to work with a soft touch, not force, nobody can force me to do anything. Specifically believe because if belief is forced, that's not belief.
Bosnia, there was a there was a this kind of,
you know, again,
a boy father was forced to forcing him to, to pray with him all the time,
really forcing him like beating him up.
And then you know, when boy grew up, he told his dad, you know, he had muscles, then he has been able to tell his dad He said, you know, that you force me to pray, but whenever I stand with you, I just move I never prayed.
So, you cannot force people you know, faith comes from within it is
I believe that marriage is also conscious stuff.
So, two people come together and if they are if one of them is praying and other ones not praying, I think responsibility leads from the one who is praying to go inshallah, slowly, I believe that soft touch is the strongest touch,
stroke touch or push is would not work hard, would not produce consequences. So, love for this for the sake I think we can show that we are made for the sake of Allah, we have love for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala if we have good nature in working with one another and improving qualities and character of one another, and and inshallah, in my opinion, that would create opportunities for a husband or wife, to persuade each other to be better Muslims, if you start forcing one another resistance will be created, and we will not do it to ourselves, neither to faith upon another.
My perspective that that I think comes out of, of working with people because we ideal things are changing our mind. But sometimes we have to take into consideration conditions in which we are and work with what we have in common hence
the same concept
About sleeping we should first define the meaning
of love, love for the sake of of loss of time, and only then we can move on
the strongest time strongest role
is the one that you hate you love for the sake of a law and you hate for the sake of being disliked for the sake of the law.
So when you say I want to marry someone for the sake of a lot, it means that
is doing what Allah loves.
Because you want to do this for the sake of Allah. So you want to be close to Allah subhanho wa Taala by marrying this person, therefore, this man must have this person must be very close to Allah. And because of that now you marrying this person,
because that's the only way you can gain we can gain the level of law to follow suit.
And doing what a lot asked him to do in contempt of Ebola law for me, Ronnie Buccola. So this person, he gained the level. So here,
if the person is not praying,
he's not fasting, he's not doing anything from the Shinya, then he will not marry that person for the sake of the love, you marry that person for the sake of your nurse. That is the result. When you rent someone, you want someone who will hold your hand like this, and walk you walk with you to paradise. Two Gentlemen. Now the other direction. So that has to be clear. First of all, the meaning of sacred love, you may be doing it for a lot, which means a lot of loves, this person loves this thing, for example, to give you an example so we can understand when we are gonna miss a shot.
For example, Mashallah your sister from she's beautiful, she's young, she's everything that a man would wish to have. And now she is marrying this young man who's not that attractive, is cool, but he is righteous. Now, that is for the sequel.
exam, another actor from St. Louis, St. Louis, he married his daughter for the sake of the law says
they are a daughter by the name Fatima.
she was a
she was a scholar.
He was asking for her hand from CERN.
Now, you know, the mama said when
he asked one of his students, where have you been? He said, my wife died. He said, Have you remarried someone else? He's saying Hmm, who was the who and Mary made their daughter or their daughter when I have nothing to offer? St. Mary, you my daughter? For the sake of Allah,
we understand. Why did he choose this person and met the son of the honey from because this person was a was a student of knowledge. He had everything. This is called for the sake of a lot. And then if this exists, then you move on for what?
You know, one, one thing, what I, what I noticed, we are really been dealing with realities that differ in many ways from what we used to do.
question is how many of Muslims pray in Canada?
I would say my estimates would be 35%.
Or around that.
What I'm just looking from a practical perspective 100 rely, you know, I fully agree with with with shape, and it's an Islamic perspective, we have to take that into consideration when we are talking as a first step in ground.
When we come to dealing with issues that are obvious, I know example, much meeting that we had,
that we had three weeks ago, I got an application from a Muslim boy who wrote and said
yeah, I'm Muslim, but you know, I'm not practicums
we cannot disqualify him.
We cannot. We have to work with him.
Because they are they are moving forward. At this point of time, many of our boys are getting
Married from other communities, and many of our girls are not having a chance to get married.
You know, women population is higher than men population.
So what I'm afraid of actually, as, as situation is right now rising, you know, cities that some of our girls and hamdullah very educated, beautiful girls, good families,
but no marriage.
Nobody's coming forward.
Because they've been waiting for, you know, 2530 4045 and right now there's an emergency.
They're getting older. So we really have to work on on your building community capacity, building community capacity, bringing these people and then give them education, you know, help them through through the process. I would, you know, my,
my approach to marriage, and hamdulillah my daughter asked me, she's, she's 90 said, Baba, you know, I'm not seven years old.
And I said, I knew, I knew. So she asked me, sorry.
She that's what we young parents do. Oh,
no, she came to ask me. And my response was, I just want to listen.
Because I've seen many of
many of our young boys and girls getting away.
So I will remove them and have them not, if I have a Muslim, there is a possibility that I shall have Muslim through.
workout through, yes, I would like all the best. I would like the first one. That's the benchmark. But if it doesn't happen, if I don't have it, then show I could I could work out with and these are some of the practical things I mentioned to you. And believe me they are happening because we are community that are
ideal things but it happens that we are having many of the people who don't practice Islam at all, you know, there is everything from liberal to moderate to traditionalist and everything in between, and we have to deal with all of this. So we pray to Allah subhanho wa Taala ensure that that will be a very practical when we are when we are dealing with the issue and help our young people no matter where they are, which level of understanding of which level of Islamic awareness, we have to help them you know, grasp their reality as Muslims and inshallah as far as marriage is concerned, teach them inshallah educate them, so that they could inshallah Come
come into into the fold that we are happy with them and as a good Muslim see show.
Another question when a child is
well, we're talking about teenage years as a Muslim boy or girl is in their teens and
experiencing different different emotions, different feelings, and at that point, marriage may not necessarily be something which is very practical in practical terms, what are some of the ways some tips perhaps some practical ways that they can survive for that period and and kind of come out on the other side without too much trouble
gets me in trouble. So I have to deal with it, no problem.
Again, we are facing this regular basis.
Okay, let us start with this. Some for boys and girls run away from home.
We know that
some some boys and girls
basically do not go along with with traditional issues and values. So what they do, we know they you know, I'm 18
so a team, so they feel like they can do whatever they want want to do. First of all, what we need to do is you don't you don't prepare soldier during the battle.
You prepare soldier before the battle. So great responsibility has to put be put on on raising our kids on time.
If you start dealing with with your teenager who is 18, and start talking only then when you start talking to him or her about Islamic mannerism, sorry, too late
student, when it comes to that level, then I think the best way is
to communication, open communication with young kids, pressing them hard, would not bring benefits, scaring them will not bring benefits, the best way that I'm using with with with some of the kids is logical explanation of matters. And any situation in which they find themselves in relationship depends. And I'm dealing with that on regular basis with some very intelligent kids, but kids who are, you know, who are a little bit secular to say so.
So we have to find ways of basically bridging the gap and making them understand that, that, you know, they are Islamic principles.
If a boy and a girl
and when it happens is they are meaning they know, they see one another in universities, they talk to one another, you know, you're gonna be, you know, social media, it's, it's, it's out there, what could be done, we have to advise them of what is okay and what is not, okay, you have to guide them case, you have to be their mentors, and how we can advise them, I think we have to create forums in which we would have, you know, we would have families together, for example, I'm learning in, I am planning in me to bring Muslim families in all families together and inshallah
1000 Islands, at least 340 families, where they will bring their kids together, you know, and basically, we will all interact within boundaries of, of Islam. And in that way, basically, we teach our kids how they can, what they can, what they cannot, when it comes to, to relationships, these are some of the ways in my opinion, that we can approach when we come to, to, to theoretical approaches, then, you know, they are many of
there are many of restrictions, that all kids should be learning. At early age, as far as relationships are concerned, I'm telling you, again, when it comes to at age 18, it's gonna be too late. We didn't do a good job on kids needs to know from the time they are born until maybe 1213, what are some of the standards later on inshallah they will be choosing proper choices or directors?
Same question. Or if you like, if you could maybe talk about some of those points.
Even one or two, if you can, much appreciated. How would say
I think you should try as a parent,
to do one or two things, one
between that child and a long
established relationship between that child and a lot.
when you're not there, if they only try not to support you, not to disrespect you not to make him angry, then when you there, they will behave one way and when you're not there, then they do what they want to do.
But if you put the emphasis this, this is between you and the last panel with no third party, then the child would have done in his heart or heart whether you there or not.
he came to this young man was ineligible for
Be aware of you more because of the law, regardless of where you are. And when you do bad things with good deeds. It's not absolutely me that we have to establish always, but the first thing is the parent or the child
Allah subhanho wa Taala. see one of our one quick. One of the teachers, as little children was teacher was a teacher with a child of children. He was teaching children. And then he decided to do a test. So he came, and he gave the children, the children can each one of them one single can. And he said, Go on hide in plays, and nobody can see it. So the first one he wrote, and he, you know, put onto the bed of the second one, he put on the top of a tree on the one he buried somewhere, everybody says, No comeback.
And one child came back, carrying the candy
is a young boy, just out the corner with lost.
You couldn't do what they did. He said, But you told me to hide my head with no one can see the Ico scene.
He says you, there's a light in your heart. And now
you have to establish a relation between that child. And I'm also planning to die. Second, which is I will conclude this, don't worry about it.
Because every little girl was sitting here she knows he is watching. And showing that you're shaking your head is how every little boy he knows smoking and dating is haram. It is no longer the issue of heroin. Because we know that the issue is the level of email.
If the level of demand is low, no matter how many times I tell you, this is how long the heroin gonna take. But if the Mobile Email is high, as soon as I say to you, it tells me more you will read on crime. So we should increase the level of taqwa and the field of the law in the heart of the children. And you as a parent, the doctor said, You should have already know your child, what can make him understand what can make his heartbeat closer to Allah, what can make his heart away from Allah, because he's been under you for over 16 years, you're not going to come to me and tell me today, I'm having problem with my child. That means you didn't do your job. So if you all do these
two things, none of you none of us would have any problem with our children. Some little girls little conclude this when they go to school, they know that they when they leave the house, when they get to the bus does not get why they care is concerned by the parents but not about almost no, one thing that that has to be very clear clearly indicated, when we talk about our children, and specifically if you are demanding something from them,
you see, you first have to invest,
invest, and then ask for
what I what I think where we are, where we where we should be heading when you talk about our children, is first thing where we have to see them is proud of being Muslims, they have to be proud, not arrogant, proud. They have to know where they are, what is their benchmark. And that could come only the seat in the house. As we spoke.
We spoke about Islamic atmosphere, relationship with the last 100 in my in my books, more you are available for more you are available. Look, look at this. More good, you do
easily in trouble.
So when you when you think about these boundaries in your life in the life of kids, then it means that you and I have to do overshare kids are given to us as a Nana trust. And we have to take the trust. You know, when somebody gives you a gift, what do you do put it behind the door? Not at all. You love the gift, you put it somewhere you know where everybody can see because you're proud of that gift. Gift of children to us is something you have to be proud of, and work on to them in the right spot and always deal with it. So when it comes to kids, I want our kids Muslim kids to be proud of who they are proud to be Muslims in Canada. Number two, I want our kids to be self
confident. You see four kids are not self confident the shape is pointed out, you know what would happen? They would inform the parents they would add nationalist young angels.
But when they are within the walls of the school,
I can give you a hint. I went to one of the schools and I spoke to kids. I didn't know I didn't tell them who am
As How many of you drink
telling you maybe there is a peer pressure there. Maybe some of them said it because they didn't want to be like Mama's in Bubba's voice, and
they wanted to be somebody. They mentioned Muslims, drugs, many of them. So we want kids who are self confident, when people give them alcohol and drugs, they shouldn't do that stuff. Not because doctors told me what to do. Because my parents told me not to do it, because police would be asked me to do it, because
that's exactly where we have to have with them. If we do so, there is no problem. When it comes to as she pointed out, there is no problem in their choices of how they will be talking, or if they will be talking when it comes to boyfriend or girlfriend, they they are thinking about it, they are thinking about issues, you know, are irrelevant here. Because they are real for what's wrong with the vendor what to do, what not to do.
Both of you for your insights and your knowledge and your wisdom.
For your efforts,
your time given to us and our community. On behalf of everyone in our community. The question I'd like to thank both of you was from the bottom of our hearts. And I got a piece of paper from our sisters. And I think it will sum up what many people are probably thinking it says, just say you're listening, right? It says what the critics say. So to hear the reviews that are coming in motivational, inspirational, eye opening, exceptional and amazing, and there's a big thanks at the bottom. So I think this sums up what many of us are thinking so once again, the disciples didn't listen to you. But Allah subhanahu wa taala protect you and keep you
in his protection and increase you in everything that is good.
When you love people, you tell them that you love it. And I think I love these two brothers and sisters. You are very nice.
Actually, for last five years I've been coming here sometimes. And I think you are exceptional community. You are
You are small community. But I was wondering what Allah has given you a very healthy environment in which you grow with your families. And you also got an amazing email.
So you see, you get what you deserve.
You know, Canadians, we deserve we have what we have.
We have Old English as they are because in general it deserves but it keeps them you You are good community and you got you know, good leadership. Now Allah subhanho wa Taala inshallah, reward you for your wise choices. And I think this is in right direction. Once again, this is right direction. Let's go educate yourself on what we are supposed to do for our families. Because we are responsible on the Day of Judgment, we would be responsible for what we did, and now must run will help us to show us
just like to extend a special thanks to all the volunteers and the brothers and especially the sisters who worked very hard to make sure that things were running smoothly, outside and all around during this event. So thank you very much for all the time and energy for all of your efforts and your concerns and to everyone who came out and everyone who's watching online right now. malice, incredible what's out there rewards you and Allah subhanho wa Taala Bless you, protect you and increase human everything. There is good work.