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How To Build a Peaceful Family

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Said Rageah

Channel: Said Rageah

Episode Notes

Said Rageah delivers a talk during DIPC 2012

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Islam is teaching how we can live in harmony.

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When a man and a woman got married to one another, they are bringing on one to one another. They are trending one another.

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This trend

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starting with the fans

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Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

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All praise belongs to Allah and to Allah alone and make his peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Our speaker, for today's session of the Dubai International Peace convention will be dhf siete raga from Canada.

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A little bit about chef aside.

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Indeed, he is only one man, but he has done the work of many men.

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He is the co founder and chairman of journey of faith.

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Chef side is a distinguished Muslim Imam and scholar dearly loved and celebrated for his substantial community service.

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Well known for his knowledge, kindness, and leadership. Jeff side is the esteemed founder of Oasis magazine, youth hotline, orphans, metta, Muslim youth camp, Muslim Student Loan Foundation, and the Muslim Basketball Association. So I invite to address us on the topic of how to establish a peaceful family. How do a chef side raga

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Oh,

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the hemudu who understand you know who wanna sell Pharaoh? One hour the villa he mysuru Leon fusina woman say Tia Molina

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Maja de la Hooper who Elmo third woman Yoda, Lil parentage Allahu wa de and murshida

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Why should one law hula sharika Why should one know Mohammed Abu rasuluh?

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Yeah, yo holla Dena Morocco Maha Pato potty he Mouton Illa. One Two Muslim moon

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Yeah, yohanna sakurako como lady Hola, como una sinuata wahala caminhar Xhosa? webadmin humare john and Kathy Ron one is

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what telco la la de TESSA aluna v one or ham. In aloha Canada you can warm up Eva

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yo yo holla de la mano choco la aku Conan sadita useless la cama Malecon wale felucca, Mizuno, Bochum woman Yoko hawara, soda hufa de further fosun Avi Ma, Ma Ma.

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Ma Ma Ma, Ma Ma Ma.

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Well, Hayden howdy howdy Mohammed in sallallahu alayhi wa sallam washer domu remote.

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worker number 13 VEDA will call the beta is in Bora Bora in

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America.

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The brothers in law Hayden May Allah subhanho wa Taala. We work them with alpha doses.

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They requested me to talk about

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how to build easeful family

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and I think this is the ultimate goal.

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For every single Muslim, and Muslim

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This is the ultimate goal for anyone who wants to establish relationship with his or her spouse.

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Let's talk about the importance of marriage First of all, on the place of marriage in Islam, say Allah subhanahu wa to Anna said in the Quran,

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woman Aya T.

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And from the signs of a loss of Hannah who with Anna and some of us when we hear this, I

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would assume that a lot of would mentioned magnificent creatures.

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Huge things, massive

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things. Heavens and the Earth.

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Allow me speak about the creation of human beings allow me speak about the creation of the universe. But Allah said a woman is he um from the signs of a law from the great signs of a law and had a father come in and fusi qu as wotja that he soprano who were to Allah created for you mate among yourselves.

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For what purpose

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Karna lettuce kuno la

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wodeyar anabaena kumada wahama now for the brothers and the sisters who understand the Arabic language

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Listen to this.

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Allah did not say He created you for each other.

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Leah schooner ma Ha.

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So he can live with her. Because if a lot of lost at least, Poonam I would mean they are living together, they are roommates, they are individuals who live together see you and I as a male members of female members as roommates, we live mind each other.

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I will use the word mind by law use the word la Ha. De schooner la Yeah.

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So what is the difference between marwaha or eladia?

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Either Yeah, it means that he were fine confernce

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he was fine. You know, he,

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he would find peace that we all looking for. But Maha

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is the western term see in the West, the man and the husband they live together? Yes, Paloma. Baroness lamb, husband and wife. Yes, cuando la.

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Two different things.

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Two different things. And that's why Allah follow with wotja and a bay in a cocoon. And he placed between you two more what that what that means? compassion, love

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and mercy. Because compassion for her in she always quick to show on state have feelings before the term from the side of the man it is.

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So this is what Allah said. And the Messenger of Allah said about the relationship in general, and the relationship with the spouses in this hadith. Listen with the messenger of a loss.

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Honor in a minute, live Min elbonian you should do bah bah, bah, bah. Is there a moment for another men is like brick, like a wall is strength one another. So what here we're trying to understand is when a man and a woman got married to one another, they are brick on one to one another. They are strengthening one another

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hado worship Becca wasabia and the Messenger of Allah did this in front of the Sahaba to show that the strength of the Unity starting with the family.

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Now,

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Islam, if What if you love

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encourage us

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to stablish the family that is nurses

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Allah says in the Quran, encouraging us is 13 Nisa on funky

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moto Bella Khun Mina nessa

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so marry of women marry women of those we are pleased with in another Sora last panel with the Allah con 1am I mean come was sorry Hina mean anybody come and marry those single of you for male and female on the side

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and missing you overloads the hell Buhari were Muslim he said. Anaya Mashallah Shiva minister, I mean qumola bachata fell yet as a word.

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He say all young people, whosoever is capable of getting married, let him get married.

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encouragement from the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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But after that

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Islam is teaching how we can live in harmony, which is the subject that we're going to be talking about mainly,

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how to live together with husband and wife.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala for incircle de Maru

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outer city from the ESA.

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He said hold her, keep her with my arrow with goodness with kindness. All that had go with goodness and kindness with perfection of the city from the is in the eye Allah subhanho wa

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wa Sharona bill Morrow,

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live with them in kindness. Live with your spouse, with kindness and mercy and

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and the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, how you can?

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The best of you hired to complete

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those who are best to their family. Well, Anna, I saw a long while he was selling Pyro chameleon, I am the best for my family.

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Now, how do we know the importance of this unit? We can know the importance of unity when we see how shaytaan how he plays and he plans to destroy this and listen to the Hadith in Libya Salah long while he was listening to the hudy the messenger of a loss and how do you say hey, he said

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in the show, Your Honor, he said your shavon now to see shaytan he doesn't play around with little things. He doesn't just want to establish at the end of his day something simple. He wants to do something great and every shade on his giving it as Now listen to this he the Messenger of Allah said in the show you Donna la yoga Arusha Allah shavon

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phases thrown on the water

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gonna favor as Josiah

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and he will send out his soldiers

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for Aqaba, woman zealot and min Avraham pfitzner.

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And the kosis soldier to a Billy's to say plan is the one that causes the greatest fitness at the end of the day. Now, listen,

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they come back to report to shape that

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they came back to say this is what we did, and this is how we did it. So first comes and he says to change on

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honor.

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I made him do this and this and this.

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I made him commit adultery.

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shape on was saved to him. He didn't do much work.

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Another one say hours on him and Phil he killed someone shaytaan was saved did nothing. The third one would come and he would say I I made him sign a river contract.

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interest. Now imagine at the end of the day, we ship all reports and he says I made this person sign a river contract.

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Now you may say it's just a one sin, but it is not. Because one Mohammadi narrow river is equal to 36 times

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means that a person commit Zina.

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So he committed or he made that person do something greater than the person who committed 101 adultery. And not only the Messenger of Allah said, it is worse than committing 36 times.

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And then the shutdown was say, he didn't do anything.

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For your home, one of them would say,

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more than two and a half hours on him, had to be in a home with a number of hours on him until he divorced his wife

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for your whole shavon hula shaytaan was say to him, were you Denise, and he will bring him closer to Him. And He will say to him, near him, and you did good job.

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You did a good job. See that person who killed someone cheated, say to that shavon. You didn't do much. The person who committed adultery. He's 18. You didn't do much the person who signed the river contract or to contract agreement or consumed interest. He said you didn't do anything. But the man who divorced his wife because of the shaper. He says to the shaitaan You did well, why? Because he knows if he can separate between men and his wife, husband and and his wife, then he indeed established great thing.

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Great thing.

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But it's

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encouraging us to protect that institution

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by avoiding a lot of things.

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Now all of you are waiting the magical recipe, recipe of success. How can I have peaceful marriage?

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What can brother say give me that I can take it back home. And I can implement my within in my life. And I can say I have learned a lot. This is what you're going to do.

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The first thing that you need to do is

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see what if we learn

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we do our all wrong.

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And we do the wrong times.

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But listen to this first of all, based on Hadeeth never man been embarrassed. She'll come up soon in Attila MIDI, masa, Han Hakim,

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the Messenger of Allah.

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Who will a bad

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idea. Is that a bad?

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And then the Messenger of Allah recite and he said when he made that statement was honorable Maroney as tangible come in alladhina Yes, Your Honor and Eva that the

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messenger of a loss or a loss that Rooney caught me and I will respond to your

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call upon me. And I will answer

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them in another I in the Quran Allah way either Salah Can he by the need for in near curry Mooji Buddha with a die either Dan fell yesterday the god What do you mean to be say Mohammed?

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When my servants asked you about me, tell them in the body.

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I am so near I am so close to them. I am right there for them.

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Let them call it because our response in

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your own Allah subhana wa tada who the other one was

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calling to your Lord in humility and private.

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Why? Because this is how a law responds to the

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law. And the sorry hate all of them. When they were asking a lump sum that is great. They used to ask for righteous family.

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righteous.

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Look, what

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is a Korea a Salatu was Salam. He said

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Kala una caja De Anza Korea or be happening in Vietnam in nikka semirara.

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Allah give me a righteous family righteous offspring. You indeed here may do

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but we do do our wrong

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We do do our walk in many areas, the first of the thing that we do wrong and we do the thing that we asked a law for

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the wrong way.

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See, we get married. And then we say yeah, Allah, Allah, make my wife righteous, make my children righteous, which is okay. Which is okay. However, it should be before, not during or after.

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It should be before you get married, before the sister agrees to married this man, before the brother agrees to marry this young lady, they should establish the pillar of the AI in their life net afterwards

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is the opposite of what we do. See in Canada, is always Muslims. They know they want to know

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what they should do about this thing. After the fact they come to Canada and they said, share, is it okay to be in Canada? You're already here. You know, you already moved to Canada. You should have asked me before you came? Yeah, sure. I marry a woman that is not practicing. What should I do? I've been making sure I make dua, you should make sure before you got married to her.

00:21:23--> 00:21:24

Now,

00:21:25--> 00:21:28

see, Allah talked about the prophets.

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And he said, Come on. Na. wa.

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He said they used to call us not

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when the climate before no beforehand, the messenger over loss of the law while he was sending them a con.

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To Allah, Allah. raha yarraka shinda.

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He said, know your Lord at the time of ease and comfort. When there is no fitna in your life. When the wife is not disobedience, when the husband is not neglecting you. When the children are disobedient before that comes you should know your Lord first.

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Not the other way around. No.

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SubhanAllah you're only visible when he was in them.

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Yeah, fuck.

00:22:26--> 00:22:41

With the latter dude who mm. He say protect the limits of the law, protect the [???]tier over law, and the law will protect you be with your water, the time of ease and a law will be there for you when you need him.

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The only time we call to our Lord is after we do everything and then we say yes yeah Allah, I will remember that you exist.

00:22:51--> 00:22:58

Now compared these two individuals, compared between these two, two of them

00:22:59--> 00:23:02

may derive from the bottom of the sea.

00:23:03--> 00:23:14

Two of them made the right to Allah from the bottom of the sea, but that was not one of them was accepted. And what was not why? See these two.

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One of them was units.

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You use Elisa to set

00:23:23--> 00:23:43

it up in full either full kit mushroom Jonas. He thought that his people would not believe in him. So he left his abaca yeah means a lab that disobeyed his law. He went to the ocean and he got on the sea. And then he was water by the well by the way.

00:23:44--> 00:23:48

Now from the bottom of the sea. He made

00:23:50--> 00:23:58

an Alaia own feluda and nocona minute muscle pain. levita de Botton he Ella yoga.

00:23:59--> 00:24:20

He was Salam was disobedient was neglected. And he did not care about Allah. He would have been in the belly of that well until the day of yom opium. The only reason Allah saved him Elia for he was mineral Mousavi before Nara.

00:24:21--> 00:24:24

Look at the keys of your own

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from the bottom of the sea.

00:24:28--> 00:24:30

Hector Raka hula

00:24:32--> 00:24:43

when he was drowning in the bottom of the sea. What did he say on Monday and the hula in Delhi. Dr. Murthy been withdrawn?

00:24:44--> 00:24:59

He said I believe there is no god except the goddess children isn't believed in him. He from the bottom of the sea. There are no safety. No, Allah replied to him and he said Erna

00:25:01--> 00:25:04

What can I say? 10 Min, walk on 10 minute move city.

00:25:06--> 00:25:46

See Superman law. He said there's only one God, and that God is the God that Moses and heroine alayhi salatu was Salam believed in him? And Allah said no. Why? Why did Allah say Eunice and did not say around because use Allah He said that was that was the moment of your own before that he's the one who used to say, when we come in lemma Allah word in unharmed surgery mentality woman come in either in a very one or a bucola. He is the one who used to claim all this beforehand.

00:25:47--> 00:25:49

So when the masiva came,

00:25:50--> 00:25:59

Allah did not answer his. But in the case of Eunice la Salatu was Salam. The only visa Allah saved me no and a minute Muslim.

00:26:01--> 00:26:15

So now in our marriage, in our marital lives, we call to Allah and I say Allah, make my husband righteous. Yeah, Allah make my wife righteous, but we forgot

00:26:17--> 00:26:18

Allah before that.

00:26:19--> 00:26:35

So if you want to do something, you got the other reason Yes. What if we learn that this guy is not answered while he's still praying, going to the harem going to miss it and never we getting up in the middle of the night and the driest in the US is because

00:26:37--> 00:26:39

we feed ourselves

00:26:40--> 00:26:43

and feed our children and our wives

00:26:45--> 00:26:46

from heroin source,

00:26:48--> 00:26:49

from heroin,

00:26:51--> 00:26:52

you know,

00:26:54--> 00:26:55

if you put the sea

00:26:57--> 00:27:00

of onion and you plant that seed

00:27:01--> 00:27:12

and you expect that seed will come out of that Earth as a beautiful olive tree, you are fooling yourself

00:27:13--> 00:27:18

when we feed our children or our wives through haraam income,

00:27:20--> 00:27:24

and then at the same time, we want them to be righteous children,

00:27:25--> 00:27:29

righteous wise, we fooding hours

00:27:30--> 00:27:38

an hour that we make for them and they make for us, especially the one that the person who's consuming heroin makes is no response.

00:27:39--> 00:27:44

Because the Messenger of Allah or whether Corrado ashot

00:27:46--> 00:27:55

up to suffer, Mo da de de samaya era, era era womma amo Haram.

00:27:56--> 00:28:05

Haram, Boko Haram, Boko Haram, and use the job and then the messenger overlay mentioned a man

00:28:06--> 00:28:30

with unkept hair, Destin feet an outfit traveler, raising his hand, saying, oh my lord, oh my lord, Yahweh, Allah, Allah, but he is wearing from her arm. He ate from how long he drank from harem. How would Allah respond to such a person? You put a Solomonic?

00:28:31--> 00:28:35

How would Allah respond to such a person? It's not gonna happen.

00:28:37--> 00:29:06

So, if we want to fix the problem, and we want to have that family, then we must understand that we have to have number one, do and avoid making the art beforehand or during the calamities though is recommended and definitely, definitely helpful. However, make sure you make it beforehand. Second, you avoid haram things. The other thing the recipe

00:29:07--> 00:29:08

Beside that,

00:29:10--> 00:29:17

that would make your family or give you the success, that you ask him for peace of mind

00:29:18--> 00:29:19

as

00:29:22--> 00:29:24

gentleness,

00:29:25--> 00:29:41

kindness, the Messenger of Allah your own either Although, if Allah attends a law once the debate in Hydra, fail for a family at holla.

00:29:43--> 00:29:46

Allah will introduce to them gentleness.

00:29:48--> 00:29:52

The husband would be very gentle. When he's talking to his wife.

00:29:53--> 00:30:00

He would be very kind. When he's addressing his wife. He would not say pretty

00:30:00--> 00:30:04

me food or worse my drink or what? No, he will be gentle.

00:30:06--> 00:30:11

kind, because the messenger overlay on my woman.

00:30:12--> 00:30:15

She She in in

00:30:16--> 00:30:20

red is not added to anything except that it will purify.

00:30:22--> 00:30:37

Even if you're upset with your wife, if you're angry with your wife, if you displeased with your husband, using gentleness is the peace of mind that you're looking for

00:30:38--> 00:30:44

your own Navy, you saw Bhagwati he was the editor I mentioned Heroku.

00:30:47--> 00:30:49

What? Cairo camillia

00:30:50--> 00:31:02

how good he used to be some of the long run He will send them. His wife used to be harsh to him some of the law where it was setting them to a point that Amari Cooper was talking to his wife.

00:31:03--> 00:31:08

And his wife responded back, home would have been upset.

00:31:09--> 00:31:15

When we were in the city of Makkah. We used to have control of our wives.

00:31:16--> 00:31:28

But we moved to the city of Medina were women that control over their husbands and men. So our women adapted the behavior of the answer. So my wife

00:31:30--> 00:31:33

responded in a harsh way, the way I spoke to her.

00:31:34--> 00:31:43

So I said to you talking back to me. She said, why not? The wife, the Messenger of Allah, they talk to him.

00:31:44--> 00:31:45

Are you better than him?

00:31:46--> 00:32:00

He said, I rushed back. I rushed over the house of house, my daughter and I say to him, Do you talk harshly to the messenger over lunch? He said yes. And sometimes for the whole night we'll even talk to him.

00:32:02--> 00:32:04

Was he ever harsh to them?

00:32:05--> 00:32:15

Was he ever state a hurtful statement? Never. Why? Because you're the best to his fat.

00:32:16--> 00:32:32

So if we want the recipe of success, how to build a peaceful home, that husbands please be kind to your wife. And remember the interview some of them caught

00:32:33--> 00:32:40

on to Angelica, and Bill kawari. He said, Be gentle to our

00:32:41--> 00:32:43

women, be gentle to them.

00:32:48--> 00:32:53

Because when we gentle, they respond back. The third thing

00:32:55--> 00:32:56

that you need to do

00:32:57--> 00:32:58

is lower.

00:33:00--> 00:33:04

The power is listening to one another,

00:33:05--> 00:33:06

obeying one another.

00:33:08--> 00:33:15

see a lot of men in the mentality of men is one way street. I give the order.

00:33:16--> 00:33:21

I'm the marshal here. I'm the commander. I give the order you listen.

00:33:23--> 00:33:26

But the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:33:28--> 00:33:30

yesira word to us.

00:33:31--> 00:33:52

He said, make it easy, make things easy. And do not make a difference. What bashira one or two, not Pharaoh and give that tilings give them the good news. And don't push them away. And then he said, What Otto Wah? Well

00:33:54--> 00:33:59

and listen to one another. And do not disagree with one another

00:34:00--> 00:34:24

three. powerful, very, very powerful advice. give good news. Don't ever get bad news. You lost your job. Or you are giving a warning. You come back home your wife says and you know she's concerned about your job and the income of the family. You don't say oh, I lost my job because you made me late.

00:34:25--> 00:34:27

No, you don't.

00:34:28--> 00:34:38

You can say I came home early honey. I came I missed you. I came to see you can give the good news.

00:34:40--> 00:34:45

Good news, make things easy. Make your face

00:34:47--> 00:34:53

a logon or banner of joy, not fear and her

00:34:54--> 00:34:54

joy.

00:34:56--> 00:34:59

And then he says katawa your husband says to you

00:35:00--> 00:35:36

Sister, can you please do such and such? You don't say Why? You know why? No, you listen because the messenger overbore said, and Morocco salia, the righteous wife, man, either Naga Elijah, the one where her husband looks at her, she pleases Him, what either ma ha, what either Amara Ha. And when you order say to do something, at art, she will listen and obey, she would miss.

00:35:37--> 00:35:40

So, this is what the Messenger of Allah is talking.

00:35:42--> 00:36:24

What Ah, and if your wife gives you a suggestion, then you should say Alhamdulillah you know, and hamdulillah because when the Messenger of Allah and the companions of the Messenger of Allah, we're all going for Umrah and the missionary king of Makkah, they will use the Sahaba and the Messenger of Allah to come in, and the Sahaba were really unhappy. And the Messenger of Allah said, listen to this, the Messenger of Allah said, shave your head, slaughter your head, the animal, sacrifice your animal and the Sahaba would not move.

00:36:25--> 00:36:28

They will not move, they will not obey the messenger of Allah.

00:36:29--> 00:36:59

Amara bill comes to the resource of Obama he was on fire. Yara, Salama, Alice, the Navy law unit, the Messenger of Allah for a better Yes. And then he what he did say, Alice now Alan has a winner on the truth. And he said Yes, I'd enter on Bob and he points to the machine he's Yes. Or not with any other fee deed in there. Why are we giving Why would this grace in our religion,

00:37:00--> 00:37:10

current Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Anna Abdullah, I am the serving over law and along with never disgraced me

00:37:11--> 00:37:15

will never disappear. That's how angry the Sahaba were.

00:37:17--> 00:37:22

And the messenger over law he got up and went to the house, who's in the house.

00:37:23--> 00:37:26

masala in the 10 it was almost

00:37:28--> 00:38:21

almost cinema she saw the face of red and angry and upset and sad because they disobeyed the Messenger of Allah. And he was afraid that Allah subhanho wa Taala may strike them off. For quality Jada stole a law. Get out of the 10 ask them to shave your head, slaughter your head, and they will follow you. And the Messenger of Allah didn't say, women don't talk to me. What do you know about the affairs of men? What do you know about how did he know he got up to curse suggestion. And he asked someone to shave his head and he slaughtered his head and the Sahaba of the law when when they saw that they shaved their heads like the messenger of the law. And this is like the Messenger of

00:38:21--> 00:38:24

Allah. So your own words

00:38:25--> 00:38:26

when a

00:38:27--> 00:38:30

suggestion will lie, our wives

00:38:32--> 00:38:34

are extremely intelligent,

00:38:35--> 00:38:37

very intelligent.

00:38:38--> 00:39:00

Do not assume that just because she's with the children most of the time and she takes care of the house and you are the manager of this and that in your company that she doesn't know much. No. So listen to them. Let us listen to them and they will listen to us in return. The fourth point if What if

00:39:01--> 00:39:06

if you want to build a peaceful household

00:39:07--> 00:39:10

stablish pmla

00:39:12--> 00:39:14

stablish the harmony

00:39:15--> 00:39:18

with your wife not alone.

00:39:19--> 00:39:22

Do not pray the night prayer by yourself.

00:39:23--> 00:39:27

know when your wife

00:39:29--> 00:39:30

in mystery.

00:39:32--> 00:39:34

The Messenger of Allah Pon

00:39:35--> 00:39:36

Rahim Allah

00:39:37--> 00:39:48

May Allah mercy, wife, sister, she gets up in the middle of the night. She makes will go. She prays pmla

00:39:50--> 00:39:53

and then she wakes her husband up

00:39:55--> 00:39:59

for in other if you refuse this, don't wake me up. I have to work tomorrow.

00:40:00--> 00:40:04

You know, I'm working, I'm not like you staying home, not doing much don't wake me up.

00:40:05--> 00:40:13

She sprinkled some water over his face, not drown him with water, no speaker some water on his space.

00:40:15--> 00:40:30

And he said, What Uh, hey, Mama, I may have mercy on a husband, who gets them in the middle of the night makes widow prays for young men, until Allah wills and then wakes his wife up for

00:40:32--> 00:40:38

what if you learn to midday is the fuel of email

00:40:39--> 00:41:15

is what would increase your email. And what we missing nowadays, is not the information is the email, I am certain that I have not presented one single new iron ore howdy to you, you all know this, we have information of all this material, but we don't apply them why not lack of information is lack of Eman the level of event is low. So with your wife,

00:41:17--> 00:41:27

you need to give her the fuel of a man and let her come to your level or allow your husband to come to your level.

00:41:28--> 00:41:38

And when that happens, what if in that, when that happens, you see that her attitude will change his attitudes completely change,

00:41:39--> 00:41:44

you will see that the household is built on top.

00:41:46--> 00:41:48

And you will love the result of what you see.

00:41:50--> 00:41:50

Final

00:41:52--> 00:41:59

but not the least, yet it is the loss. It is your children

00:42:01--> 00:42:02

take care of them.

00:42:04--> 00:42:05

But when

00:42:07--> 00:42:13

is exactly like the net after you have them and they're running around like little devils.

00:42:15--> 00:42:23

Now when you you know bring them to the mall, and they touch every single thing and they want to buy and purchase every single toy. No,

00:42:24--> 00:42:27

no. Before that

00:42:29--> 00:42:43

before you have your child. And that's what the Messenger of Allah taught us that before we have any intimacy, intimate relation with our wife to make the app not after we have them know before.

00:42:44--> 00:42:52

And not only after we have our wives give them birth know while the wife is pregnant with the child, she should be righteous.

00:42:54--> 00:42:56

She should be righteous.

00:42:57--> 00:43:05

She should not listen to anything that is because the child is listening whatever she is hearing.

00:43:07--> 00:43:12

Nowadays, and I know you have read this research, they said

00:43:13--> 00:43:24

it is highly recommended for the father, not the mother for the father to come and talk to the child while the child in the womb of his mother.

00:43:26--> 00:43:38

So when the child is born, he can recognize the voice and the sound of his father. We say if the wife is watching all this indian movie,

00:43:39--> 00:43:56

or our shows, or hollywood movie, and she's watching all this commercial music, she should not assume that she's the only one who is taking this information. No, that child also is taking that information

00:43:58--> 00:44:14

is taking the information and when it comes out like a little devil. It was an him that made him like that and he did not make himself like a little devil. No, it is you as a parent who did not do the responsibility that was there for you to do.

00:44:16--> 00:44:17

It is very important.

00:44:18--> 00:44:21

extremely important. I met a sisters panel

00:44:22--> 00:44:27

with two children, two daughters will lie one of them.

00:44:28--> 00:44:30

You will think

00:44:31--> 00:44:34

that she is of a human age and if that exists.

00:44:35--> 00:44:36

Heather

00:44:37--> 00:44:51

she's so quiet so calm. You know when she sits with her mother in the message she's reading on. She's trying to help her mother. She's trying to help her sibling

00:44:52--> 00:44:55

and you will see some hands on but this is a dream daughter to have.

00:44:56--> 00:44:59

On the other hand, her second daughter

00:45:00--> 00:45:09

She is Mrs. A police. I mean nothing can be more evil than I have never seen a child a little brat

00:45:10--> 00:45:18

like that child. If she comes to visit your house and the house is not on fire, you should make sure by the time she leaves you know

00:45:19--> 00:45:23

and I said, Masha Allah, why are they so different?

00:45:24--> 00:45:28

She said this one, she was my first child,

00:45:29--> 00:46:01

my email, I got married, you know, I used to go to halaqaat before married and then I used to do this and I used to mow my lawn I used to be sort of kept every Friday, I used to get up to here Monday, I used to you know, when you come fast Mondays and Thursdays, he said, but after this, my second child I got busy with her husband might be better with a lot became different. And when I had her, I only only then I saw the result of what I did.

00:46:03--> 00:46:31

So do not assume just because the wives in taking information, that the information is only for her or the father. No, I will say if What if you learn if you want to raise a child that is righteous? Start beforehand our reminded a statement of Imam Shafi Rahim Allah when a man came to him with joy,

00:46:32--> 00:47:19

he came to him with joy. And he was so excited about his little boy. And he said to him, I'm a Chevy. You know, I want my son to be exactly like you. I want him to have that magnificent memory. I want him to be daddy of the oma and the best way to do is put my son right underneath your feet. Let him learn from you. He Mama. Come on, bro. How old is she are a Masha Allah. I brought him to him in a very young age so you can mold them to shave him. He's only two years old. Carla, Emma Michelle. You are too late.

00:47:21--> 00:47:22

You too late.

00:47:23--> 00:47:24

So us.

00:47:25--> 00:48:03

Our daughters are 16 years old and we say over 15 years of Mashallah, she reached the age of puberty. Now it's time for a job. He reached the age of 10. Now it's time for Salah No. So this is what I would consider some tips that may help you be it needs to panel with the other with your family and the brother just came showing me that my time is over. A poodle matters mahone was stopped for law howdy welcome a sort of loss of Hannah with the added a new book on Jimmy, what is our common law who fail to panic smarter on my phone was

00:48:05--> 00:48:06

studying with

00:48:07--> 00:48:08

me.

00:48:14--> 00:48:15

JACK Hello. Hey, do

00:48:17--> 00:48:30

we now come to the time for the question and answer session. As previously we have one mic at the front for the brothers and one mic in the real for the sisters. So if we may the first question from the brother.

00:48:32--> 00:49:24

family come. My name is mo sire and I came all the way from Afghanistan in search of peace. And may Allah subhanaw taala bring peace in Afghanistan. My question is regarding marriage, especially in Afghanistan nowadays. Marriage is a complicated process because of so many traditions and customs. What is the advice Islamic advice, overcoming the customs and traditions and making the marriage as less expensive as possible? And what are the preferred age for male and female? No, Zack Allah. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bring peace to our Muslim brothers in Afghanistan, in Somalia, in Syria, in Egypt and all over the world. Now the commands to answer that question. Unfortunately, the parents

00:49:25--> 00:49:32

and we all parents, the parents now they they've made marriage so difficult.

00:49:34--> 00:49:39

And a time where Xena it's so easy and accessible.

00:49:41--> 00:49:59

Because of our traditions, our cultures we complicated things. Instead of making simple, like the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, we made it so complicated. Listen to this Harris emotionally animate the sentence

00:50:00--> 00:50:31

Here, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam million naira. He said from the Baraka of a wife of a young lady, if you want your wife to have so much Baraka, your daughter to have so much Baraka, then listen to this Howdy. He said from the Baraka of those young lady, he said, these little hairs about the hair, what is it? He said for her engagement to be simple and easy. And hair, my honor, the wedding expensive to be easy a minimum,

00:50:32--> 00:50:37

but nowadays, the engagement itself is another process.

00:50:38--> 00:51:13

And the wedding is another process. So how to overcome this, the only way we can overcome this is we go back to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. When he said, Tonka hammer only rbv Sahaja Muslim, we marry women for four reason. We talk about beauty, wealth and lineage but he said, If we'll be there to D, marry with the wolf with the dean, Teddy but Yak 30 with each other, so find a family of a religious fundamentals and principles.

00:51:14--> 00:52:09

And when it comes to the young people, the Messenger of Allah on come on, as soon as he tells me the center, this is our band, he was at either attackmen, Tarragona de novo Professor with you, if a man comes down, you satisfied with his Deen and manners, then marry him to your daughter. So I would say anybody who wants to get married, remember to look for a family that is religious, but not fake religious, outside religious, know, some people who are practicing is practicing is what age is suitable for marriage. What age in the United States, we have, in some of the states, the age of 13 1416. And before 18 and 18. Under with the consent of the Father, marriage is a lump

00:52:11--> 00:53:03

marriages in the United States, and I'm giving you the United States Code because a lot of us we have two of them in Canada and America. So I'm giving you your fake tabular and what they believe. And but I'm telling you the right cabinet and what we should believe this is what they believe. But in Islam, it says it there is no age limit. It all depends how responsible the young person is, how mature of the young person is, I know some people who are 27 years old, I cannot trust him with my shoes, letting along with my daughter. And I know some people who are only 1617 years old, I can live the whole mystic, the whole community under their care. So there is no limit. There's no age,

00:53:03--> 00:53:11

it all depends on the maturity and the responsibility of the person. So this is what I would say well lo Allah

00:53:14--> 00:53:50

will have the next question from the sisters Mike. Aslam Ali come. I'm suhar Qasim from Sri Lanka. desoxyn Malala hiren, for that excellent lecture, and for this amazing conference. I have a question. Is it possible to adopt a child from a war torn country who is in an orphanage? A Muslim child, obviously without giving your name and how does that child become a Muharram for you and your husband? Are you allowed to take lactating tablets just

00:53:52--> 00:53:54

know him Did he does the Mohammed Linda.

00:53:56--> 00:54:48

There's no adoption is snom as the Suzanne law is stated, as the last panel with ally stated in sort of the wiggle room, they call them by their fathers. However, there are different level that the adoption based on the western society, but we can be a guardians of children and take care of them. Specially if there are your teams. Because they your team. Anyone who takes care of your team is with the messenger overlocker Murphy's a head bot is the messenger over loss. It's a long ride, he was selling them. And now we're currently at makaha teeny fifth Gen. He says I and the responsible person or the Guardian over your team are like this in paradise. So anybody wants to be with the

00:54:48--> 00:54:59

Messenger of Allah in general like this, then all you have to do is not for you to wish being with him so long while he was setting them. It's not for you to give you a set of notes

00:55:00--> 00:55:11

Just all you need to do is sponsor a team. Now, it is permissible to circle a child that you adopt,

00:55:12--> 00:56:05

for him to be a hero for you. And also if he's a young lady of her heart, your husband to be a Mahara, of course the condition is that the child must be under two years old. If you adopt a child, and you did not give him or her your name, and you suckled that child under the age of two, it is permissible, and he can be your mom and your husband can be hurt my mom, if she is a girl. Well, no. The next question from the sisters Mike Assalamualaikum My name is Satya Nasir. And I'm talking to you on behalf of all sisters that I know Alhamdulillah Shay, I'm blessed with a very righteous husband Alhamdulillah. But you mentioned in your talk that if a woman dies, and her husband is

00:56:05--> 00:56:48

pleased with her, she will go to Jana. Then what about a righteous wife, a practicing Muslim, a better husband is upset with her. He does not like her hijab, she is called an extremist. And because of this, the children also are confused and become opportunity. She is forced to hide away her Koran and not to do any ibadah in front of him or before he comes back. And she is threatened by her in laws that he might leave her if she continues, although she fulfills all her household duties to Zach alone. First of all, my heart goes to that system. And may Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:56:49--> 00:57:01

God gather her with us you have been tomasa him, the wife of your own. And Maria Mita Emraan. And hurry Jasmine to Hawaii and Fatima I've been to Mohammed

00:57:02--> 00:57:27

Ameen for that system. system. The messenger over last a long while you were sending them said that or made that statement concerning righteous husband. But if the husband is not righteous, and the husband is ordering his wife not to do a bad, then this is not the man that we talking about all the Sharia is talking about.

00:57:28--> 00:58:23

Because you can only obey your husband and in this fact obey anyone if the person is telling you to do it. Because it's a Muslim, the messenger over loss of the law while he was setting them con in America to say obedience only in height. In America, you say to obey someone, you should obey that person only when the person is telling you good. But if the person is asking you not to wear your hijab, or not to worship the Lord, not to perform your salon, you should not obey that individual or all and if you hear that he will harm you. Then I will say sister put your trust in the law because Allah can protect you from him, but he cannot protect you from Allah. And Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:58:23--> 00:58:52

Anna said in the Quran, woman you're totally Nah, yeah. Jana Who? Maharajah way or Zhu min Heisler? Yeah. And whosoever fears Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah will find ways for that individual and he will provide for that person from ways that he never ever or she never ever imagined. If you think he has something that you need, that is not true. Everything is in the hands of Allah subhanho wa Taala but I would say to

00:58:55--> 00:58:57

make up for your husband

00:58:58--> 00:59:00

and struggle and strive with him

00:59:02--> 00:59:11

and keep your deen and for sure Allah would not waste your efforts. May Allah Subhana Allah reward you all on all the sisters?

00:59:15--> 00:59:26

The next question from the brothers Mike said Emma like Polycom, Sarah, I am willing to be a Muslim. Allahu Akbar,

00:59:27--> 00:59:28

Allahu Akbar.

00:59:30--> 00:59:43

The brother, Mashallah he's willing to take the Shahada hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah. This is from the bursting of the last panel with Allah, my dear brother of Islam, or to be Muslim.

00:59:44--> 00:59:59

I want you to repeat after me. And after you repeat up this this statement after me, then you're going to become a full fledged Muslim. So repeat after me. Say ash. Hello ash.

01:00:00--> 01:00:24

Do an en la la ilaha illa Illa Illa Allah, Allah, what I had was what ash had was ash had an N Na Na Mohammed, Mohammed Rasool Rasool Allah, Allah, Allahu Akbar,

01:00:25--> 01:00:26

Allahu Akbar.

01:00:28--> 01:00:52

Now you set, I bear witness, there's only one God worthy of worship. And then Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. And by stating that statement, you become free from all sins, your past sins, and all things the sin that you committed a law with, turn it into good deeds into his center.

01:00:53--> 01:01:24

Also, you became a brother, to all the brothers who are sitting here and the sisters who are sitting here. Now, these are your family, we are your family, and you are our brother in Islam. When we we you weep with us, when we sat, you're stuck with us when you happy, we're happy with you, when you need we will be there for you. May Allah bless you in this dunya and here asked me welcome your brother to some brothers.

01:01:29--> 01:02:13

Just as a short reminder for anyone who is here in Dubai, whether you're a new Muslim or if you know any other new Muslims, you're welcome to come past Illuminati Islamic Center, which is one of the is actually the sponsor of this event. So make sure inshallah to come along and they'll be there to support you with literature with help, whatever it may be, inshallah, so that's Illuminati Islamic Center. We'll go to the next question from the sisters Mike. A Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. My name is Asma Jabbar, and I'm from Karachi Pakistan, as it comes in the Quran, that if a man sees new shoes in his wife, that first it should do naseeha and then separate their

01:02:13--> 01:02:39

bedrooms, and the third that his shoe yet rebou hoonah. That part, a few men take up as a license to beat up their wives. I wanted to ask, Is it a sin to beat your wife? And if yes, should that person repent? Should he ask forgiveness from Allah and his wife as well?

01:02:40--> 01:02:40

No.

01:02:42--> 01:02:43

Before the filler,

01:02:44--> 01:03:22

Allah subhanho wa Taala said the opposite can either confused or sued in a certain manner. You indeed have excellent example in the messenger over loss on the long run he was selling them. So dealing with our wives, we should follow the Sunnah of the messenger overlong and I just said come off in a hurry to say Hey, mister ninja overlord never, ever hit a woman or serve. It is not from the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah to hit his wife. And when some women came to the house of the word of the messenger overlong and they said our husbands beat up.

01:03:23--> 01:03:45

Those people are not the best of us. Those who beat their wives are not the best of us. Now Allah subhanho wa Taala said Father de buena. Now here, there is no license for men it is not a license for men to beat up their wife. And if you listen to the son of the messenger overlock Yoda never use

01:03:46--> 01:04:33

them. If you come to that point, then you should never hit the face because hitting the face is haram camisa handwara Muslim moto con la, you can net hit the face of Muslim male or female. If I'm fighting with my brother and our sister up and I want to punch him, it is harder for me to punch him in the face even though I'm fighting him because he's a Mormon. He's a Muslim. Secondly, if you if the person is hitting his wife, which is not permissible the way you think, then he should not hit her front part of the site or leave any print any trace. But when he's hitting according to the law, he should use miswak

01:04:35--> 01:04:36

I didn't say stick.

01:04:38--> 01:05:00

I said miswak. When you I did not say put your boxing glove like Mike Tyson and knock her out. That is not what the Sherry acid positive ohana means. Now here is just a psychological thing. You carry a miswak or stick there as long as miswak miswak is as soon

01:05:00--> 01:05:56

The toothbrush and you hit on her behind just tap, not lash, like you lysing a camel or a horse. No, that is not the son. So if the man did this, he should go back to his Lord soprano without and ask for forgiveness. And he should also ask his wife to forgive him. Because the condition of the Toba come at the current moment never we are for one of them, for you not to repeat what you are doing, to to desist and stop whatever you are doing, three to feel regret for what you did on fourth, if this is related to another human being in this case to your wife. As for her forgiveness, otherwise, your Toba is not complete and your equity filler. Once again, you cannot hit your wife, the

01:05:56--> 01:06:21

Messenger of Allah said Leah Mina is a mommy should not disrespect or dislike Amina, if he is displeased with some that she does let him concentrate in something else. And if you want to leave her a loss there in the Koran, I found the crochet yarn along the height and kathira Now you may dislike something and Allah subhana wa tada will put so much faith in that thing will

01:06:23--> 01:06:29

come to the end of the question and answer session. So please a very big thank you for our dear chef siete raga