30 & Waiting: Marriage Delay

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Said Rageah

Channel: Said Rageah

Episode Notes

In the event Journey Of Faith held in Nairobi, Sheikh Said Rageah talks about why brothers are Delaying marriage in their 30s. By using the Quran and Sunnah he advises them to get married early, for surely marriage is like completion of half your deen.

Episode Transcript

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to have a coup d'etat in Baden colavita Tamara wakulla moderate in phenol.

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I see. Mashallah savara Kala

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young brothers on this side on the right side of the

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of the hole

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and I see three times more on the sisters side.

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I want to hear tech beer if everybody here is willing to take a second wife

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four wives.

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Let us start with two

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for Marsha it here Nita Kabir soul sisters.

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is extremely weak to clear.

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I want to talk about the inilah he subhanho wa Taala

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the brothers they said 30 years old still waiting. I don't know what the waiting for Malika inshallah.

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But

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I think 30 chef Mohammed has to agree with me 30 is a little bit pushing Am I right?

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Here, I mean in the West 30 is that's what it is 30 years old. That's where the young lady wants to get married. And then she stopped going to the clinic because she can't get pregnant because she's too late. And they they have all these type of treatments to make sure she gets pregnant for a child or two before it's too late for them, but I think in the in the East Africa The situation is a little bit different.

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So let us talk about first, what is the word?

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The word of marriage

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is a Nima from Allah subhanho wa Taala is a blessing. This is not something you should overlook. This should not consider it's just something that we need to mean on to to move on with our lives. Marriage is a name is a blessing. I mean Allah subhanahu wa tada

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and that's why Allah subhanho wa Taala when he's talked about the other ayat or the Nam that Allah mentioned in the Quran, is a woman Aya T and Giada de caminhada documentary on fusi calm as Raja wodeyar anabaena Kumar Dutton wahama

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How do you cook all of this to show the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala

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one law coming on fusi comm as well. This is what a loss of some handle what's the law made amongst yourselves as

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husband and wife pairs? Male and female that's what a law said in the Quran.

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From the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala that shows that the marriage indeed is a nygma is a blessing from Allah. Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he say Alba Masada for things are from the joy, the happiness the enjoyment of this dunya urba

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first of the four Yokota some

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lahardee He will send them an MA to salejaw.

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First of the form is a righteous wife.

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The second of the form, partner will Mr. Luciana, spacious house, the third part of our job to solve an array righteous neighbor, and the fourth one markable, honey and accountable. Right?

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So the first one out of the sad out of the happiness of humanity, out of the joy of this dunya is to have a soldier,

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a soldier deciding how the Hadees is mentioned soldier sada but it also implies azote Asana, not only my wife, righteous wife, but also righteous has been beaten Eliza panel with Dan.

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We learn and we study and we read. That is a word. It is indeed Sunil MBM.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala said in the Quran,

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Allah mentioned what are some narrow sunanda Mohammed we have sent messengers before you

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while you're on now and we made for them

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wives, so it is from the son

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of the Navy of our love and the all the messengers of Allah

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and a messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself, he said something very unique

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para Habiba la mina dunya and things that I love from this dunya Listen to this. Things that I love from this dunya is marriage.

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Having wife

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and then he says sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would live to smell nice.

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And the Salah was made coolers of his Isola lollies. So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he didn't say la mina dunya and Jihad vcv de la Viva la mina dunya not in this hadith because this is a family conference. Muslim home he said her Viva La Amina dunya is the things that may Allah made me love it in this out of this dunya is married. And that's why he said to the three young men who went to his house, he says a long while he was sitting at UniSA I marry women from erotica and suddenly it felt I mean, if you deviated if you deviate for my son, you're not offering enough for my own you know for what I mean at the best of my own.

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And the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam selling them

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he said to the to the young men and women especially but this hedges was for young men Kalia Mashallah Shiva Manoj Kumar

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said if you capable of getting physical any, you know, financially get married.

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So this is again in character from Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I don't want to finish every Hadith to the end because I know we've talked about this, but I want to know I want to get into why we can or people are not willing to get married. Sorry to be the Messiah as well.

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So he's been given us one. So it'd be a new job a color card and even a boss even a boss told me after the watch, do you have a wife?

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For one today? I say no, I don't have a wife.

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God has always get a wife for in Hydra Hydra Hill macaronesian. The best of this oma is the one who had more wives. Good news words.

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If you have one wife, your miskeen

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is key Skeen.

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A little bit of Chava said he has one wife. When she's pregnant, you are pregnant with her Mashallah tomato cola. As Maria

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he said when she's a hair on men says you are also what Herman says. When she's sick, he is sick. So anyone who has only one wife is miskeen. Those who have no wife is in Nigeria who were in a Rajon. Now, they not even they do not even qualify,

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then they're qualified

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to be amongst us.

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So

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if you have two wives, Mashallah Tabata Cola, you know, we give you some respect. If you have three wives, when you walk in, we should stand up. If you hope for our four wives, we salute you as soon as you walk in.

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Say the minimum service and energy Wait, he's saying that, even above Mojave and other people hurry every now

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versus saying the best of this oma, those who have more wives.

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And this is clear. What else would you like me to tell you?

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Ayesha?

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Ayesha Omar Ayesha Katana Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, cassava Nisa. Yeah. Tina, Tina Campbell. He she said, and this is a G, can you sum over the young men, they afraid to get married because some of the reasons that I will talk about you know it is wealth. And they said I can't afford that I can do it. But I Isha is saying about the law, wanna get married? And they will bring wealth doesn't mean you got to live with your wife. It means when you get married, a law would bless you

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with wealth

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and that's why I never use a long run. He was selling them. It is indeed indeed is Allah to aid anyone who wants to affirm for three people but one of them one a man or woman who wants to get married to protect themselves?

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Mmm even

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before I even had been humbled used to say to the loved one

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I'm not gonna say Miam now, he said nothing will stop a man from getting married.

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Except and Fujio I will.

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Either you fooling around.

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Because this is a natural reason. It's a natural thing, when you reach a certain age is a natural thing. He said, either you fulfilling this natural, you know requirement of yours in a haraam way, or you're incapable of having a relationship with the women our eyes. So any single brother who's sitting here, I'm going to show you one of these two men

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for your or as

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one of these two.

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bin Salman laser to the Zubur two minute is an unreleased animation. He said being single, is not part of this Deen

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woman dakka

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dakka dakka dakka is anyone who invites you to stay single, you know, women are too much you know, they too much headaches, you know, Stay out of this you know, if you want to concentrate on your, you know, success on your education on your wealth, you know, put off marriage and all this has been humbled. He's saying Rahim Allah, anyone who invites you to anything other than marriage, he invited you to something other than this Dean in this

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very serious issue.

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I want to just get into the point why men and women are delaying marriage nowadays. Forgive me I have to check the time because my time was limited, I have enough time inshallah.

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Let us talk about men, men first.

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What are the reasons that may would delay marriage? And what are the reasons that women may delay marriage? inshallah, we'll talk some more of that during the discussion, but

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we need to understand the nature of men.

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First of all,

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Allah Subhana, WA tada created man, men in general.

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For us to continue to be a halifa for male and female, Allah created mankind to be halifa in Ninja and Phil always hunted.

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And he put the seed of humanity, he put them in men.

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The seed, see,

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when Allah was describing women, he described them as a hearth, as a fertile land, when you where you put the seed and the seed will grow. So the seed comes for men and women is that land, fertile land that will allow the seed to grow.

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That's why men always uneven in intimacy in relationship. Men are always ready.

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That's the nature because more physical

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man is man is always ready for intimacy. Am I right?

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Am I right?

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That's that's the nature of men.

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Young men, you don't really need introduction for a man to be ready for intimacy, just showing a picture of his wife Mashallah. He's ready.

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On the other side, women, they don't get excited about intimacy like men.

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Men is like switch of a light

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where women

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It's like, you know, his whole different world. You got to take her for dinner. You got to sweet talk her Mashallah. You got to tell her how much you love her. You got to bring some flowers, and then maybe she were getting to the mood

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whereas men switch, he sees his wife Bismillah you know, two different ballgame

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two different ballgame. There was a, there was one of those Mashallah well, somebody was

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one of these husband and wife, someone, husband, wife about a color, you know, she they came in and they were talking about, you know, issues especially the issue of intimacy and all that. So, I start talking to them about the issue of intimacy. And, and I said, Okay, I said, Okay, what do you do? Like, we agreed that men is like, men like switch of a light, but women is like, all diesel engine Mashallah tabarrok Allah. So I said to him, what do you do to put your wife in the mood?

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And he said, um, before he starts dancing, she jumped into it.

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And she said, We're sorry, Madison, Madison.

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C says, he said, You know, this is a Somali terminology. So it means you know, when you want to eat the lunch, when you eat your lunch, you say bring the lunch, you know, bring and take it out of the pot and put it on the dish on the plate. She says he doesn't say Mashallah, you look beautiful. Mashallah, I miss it. He says Kesari Mashallah Baraka

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and then she says, YTD and when he is done when he's done, he says, nanny nanny can Mashallah get me some milk.

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cassava, hello America.

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She said he says give me some Mikado. He just came back from jihad. He said it was only two minutes Mashallah

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different

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is completely different. So men and women are two different ballgame. So men are more physical. Women are more emotional, we get into that.

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So why men who are physical, who hear all the beautiful things that Mr. Donilon is missing? just said the Sahaba the Allahu anhu said about marriage that have been or the Allahu anhu or the man like me been humble why men are delaying marriage.

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We are assuming all of the men that are in this category are free from this for all the you know imperfection how long so one of the first thing that men complain about is how am I so I don't have enough wealth?

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I know young lady would accept to marry me unless I really have enough finance. I want to hear from the city. Is that true?

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hotter Baba tiene una de la

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so I'm going to let me get a brother Mashallah handsome brother beautiful brother with the dean he comes here Mashallah. I'm having an honor. I'm ready for marriage. You're going to say no to him.

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This is done we don't

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forget about Islamic conferences. Forget about the massage let's just make some money Mashallah.

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But what you don't understand.

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Allah said, My dear sisters, until the men, Allah said, What Enki Who am I minko Masada when I'm in a bad marry your single men and women in Kunal for Allah if they poor Allah will provide for them.

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So sincerely, if a man if you may not worry about a guy now I understand I I sympathize with all of you. If the sisters have materialistic Mashallah and they want a rich man who's driving SUV, you know, Mashallah taboc, we are in deep trouble. But sincerely if you want wealth, as I just said, a zone was UniSA marry women, and a lot would bless you with that.

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She said, if you want a lot to bless you with wealth have more children and more women.

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My wife does Ayesha and she's not that young. She's not speaking out of her desire. She must be something that she inherited from Rasulullah in Santa Barbara.

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So one of the reasons that men don't want to they want to delay marriage is because women as we just hear

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They demanding wealth.

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And this is a masiva. This is masiva. Because if this is the case, sisters are willing to marry anyone who has wealth, regardless of his Deen, regardless of his, you know, in a lot of manners, they just want to marry someone with wealth.

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But that's what he just said. We're sure he showed me earlier. You just said I did

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not say that.

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brothers did not say that.

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That's what they said. No.

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That's what the some of most some of what I hear. That's what the idea is saying. No, we disagree. Do you disagree with that?

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See what lahoma schema said the muslimahs Yes, mira rst here.

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Yes. So

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this is a Muslim.

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So men, they have every reason to delay marriage.

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We don't blame in this case, you will not be blamed. But one of the reasons is exactly. That. Women, they want someone with wealth. They want someone with wealth, and Subhanallah how time change before women used to look for someone who has been. And when a man came to hustle, Boss three, and he said, a man the man said too many men came to propose to my daughter, you know, people have status people of wealth, people education, who should I marry her to? He says someone who has Dean who fears a lot in her case.

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But now women, they want someone who can take them to Jamaica and Mashallah to Barack Obama, or to Europe or somewhere else where they can enjoy themselves.

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So that's one reason the second reason

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which is connected to the first one, the reason men delay this marriage is because of education. For you to be able to get a job for you to be able to you have position in the society, you need to get education. So they push it off marriage until they get education that will which will bring wealth, which will bring a wife so they taking natural steps, because they were cornered to do this.

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The third reason

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that a lot of men also some women are put off marriage is because a lot of men or a lot of young people, they see a lot of unsuccessful marriage.

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They see young people getting married, but they're getting divorce immediately. They're getting married, they stay together. They get divorced, young men, you know, they get education, they give jobs to you save some money. And then at the end of the day, the other young lady, she says, No, no, I want this, I want that. And then they get divorced. So someone is watching from outside and he sees that situation. He decides, you know what, I'm gonna wait for the right person to come along. So that's one of the reasons that men also delayed marriage.

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The fourth reason

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other men pursued angemeldet, munez.

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Men, some men, they are looking for particular women, certain looks,

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she has to have, you know, that looks of a model. She has to be skinny, she has to be tall, she has to have a long hair, she has this cut type of skin color, she has to have this Yeah. And they keep you know, waiting and waiting and waiting until they pass the age of marriage.

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And whenever you saw the long while he was sent him he said to us, and this is the time of Sahaba we go after women for many reasons for four reasons and one of them is beauty. So it didn't exist at the time of the Messenger of Allah. But his recommendation was that he was setting them for free that Deen may be the one with the D

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marry a lady with the D

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and you remember the story I had been humbled when he wanted to propose to a family for their daughters and he sent his and his God check of the two daughters which of the two would be most suitable for me and then she came back with the description of the younger one as she says she hasn't liked skin. She has long wavy hair she's such and such. She's beautiful. She has a big eyes long eyelashes and then what about the other one as she said the other one is the older one is a little bit dark and hair is not as good and he said what about Dean? And she said Oh, the older one with the one eye and that's the one with the have he said I want to marry that one.

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Now if you have a sister Mashallah with one I got inshallah Coco vision

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as the one with the dean,

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as well with the dean.

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The other reason

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is the cultural obstacles.

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Cultural obstacles, especially as for Somalis

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is the issue of tribalism. Am I right?

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Am I right? Only from the sisters. That's true. struggled.

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You know, he is not the tribe that we want. She's not the tribe that we want. I want to marry from this tribe. And that is definitely a brother law is obviously on ultimately against the deen of Allah. Because Allah Subhana Allah said in the Quran in a Croma command on ye.

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Now,

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what are the reasons are women and by the way, the 30, as Sheikh Mohammed would agree with me is a bit pushing, we talking about less the visas of women delayed marriage,

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or the phone number when you have to understand, we talked about men being physical, always physical. And that's how the thing, and that's, by the way, there was a study that was done and the said, Men don't get offended. This was a study that was done in you, United States of America. And they said, men think of women every five minutes.

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Not every 15 minutes, every five minute things. He sees a picture things of, you know, he sees a girl passing by, he thinks of that in every fight. That was the study that was done. Every five minutes, the idea of women or idea of wife will come to your head.

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Sisters, you don't know this. But if three men don't tell the men, if three men sit together,

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the first subject of the ceremony, how's everything is in how many wives do you have?

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As a woman, and even the coward ones who don't want to take a second wife, they want to take second wife. And I see only one wife, only two wives Marsha, the subject, no matter how old you are, as soon as three men get together, the subject of marriage, the subject of women would come to the table. I guarantee you that.

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I guarantee you that.

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But women are completely different men we were they were physical and all the women are different. Women are more emotional.

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The more emotional. And sometimes that's why, you know, women will marry someone who's not that attractive, because she analyzed this person, not based on his look, but she analyzed the personality of the person she analyzed, you know his conduct and manners. She analyzed his you know, you met manage, and she says, you know, this could be a good husband. This could be a good father.

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And that's why you may see a beautiful young lady walking with someone who looks like Annie Masha, Allah, Allah

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and use yourself as it was, she's blind. Did somebody force her to marry this guy? But no, the way she analyzed was different.

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The physical part is not as great as you know, as it is in men status. In women, women are more like okay, could be a good father, good husband Kadena can teach me so that's how they think.

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Obviously the first reason that women also delay marriage is the issue of wealth. And our need to ask any immunity or any man that does the reality. Women marry someone who is financially stable.

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Women, they love comfort, Mashallah Baraka women, like like cats, you know, cats, cats, they love most comfortable environment. Women, they love a comfortable environment. So if they have to choose between two people, someone who has orcadian with wealth are someone who has a lot of Dean but less well, she will go with the one who would make her life more comfortable. That's the human, women's nature's humanity in their aspect.

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Number two, the reason that women delay marriage,

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sometimes they look for the right age in men.

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Right age, women are 25 years old, 2627 2830 years old. She's looking for someone who's around that age.

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When I have bad news, sisters, someone of your age does not want to marry you.

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Because men always want to marry someone younger than them.

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That is the nature of men. Hardly you will find someone who will marry someone who's older than in has to be extreme example across rural lines.

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Even in the West, if if a lady marries someone who's younger than him, especially if she's in that interaction

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category of rich and famous. That would be his headline for weeks and weeks and weeks.

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So when you are 29 years old, 27 years old, 30 years old and you finish your school, Mashallah you have a good job and you want to marry someone was around that age, he doesn't want to marry you.

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He doesn't want to marry you.

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He's looking for someone because he men are like hunters. They hunt. And it's okay. She's beautiful. She's good. Mashallah, come in sweetie. And she comes in and he says, Who else who else Mashallah, you know, he doesn't say I have a beautiful wife. She's everything. But as soon as he says, she says, I accept. He said, Now who's next? Michelle at the water. That's the nature of men. So he wants to have a beautiful wife.

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Yet she has to be beautiful for a long time. She has to stand. You know, the the time in weather. Everything she has is standard reality and stay beautiful. So sisters, if you want to marry someone of your age, if when someone was five years older than you, maybe 10 years old, men won't. I mean, most men, they don't want that.

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So your mentality mindset has to change. your mindset has to change.

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The other thing is, even if you find someone of that age, you know, most likely he's planning to take a second wife

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most likely,

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and this is one of the reasons that also women delay marriage because they want to marry a man who has only one wife. Am I right sisters

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and specify the Yokoyama Wait, wait until Fiamma comes Mashallah Wait,

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wait in sha

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Allah,

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Allah you start hunting flies anyone comes to your way as I was horrible Mashallah, you know,

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women you know, they're very picky, they want to say Oh, he's cute, Mashallah. He has Mashallah wealth. Mashallah Deen. He has second wife. I don't want him.

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But that's not the case. If you want good husband, by the way, mostly all good husbands are taking on my right brothers.

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All good husbands, mostly I take. Maybe mirrors come to mind someone that is Hey, how are you? Someone who's roaming around, for whatever reason, it could be lucky. But that's one out of every 1000 men. Most good men are taking because of Smart Girls, when they see this man who's young, who's Mashallah excited, who's handsome, who has you know, is thinking about future, they don't let him pass by just like that. They utilize and capitalize on that opportunity. They capitalize on that opportunity. So one of the reasons women you delayed marriage because you waiting for a single man who has the similar education as you who has money, who has, you know, the looks that you're looking

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for, but that is already gone.

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That person is already gone.

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The other reason

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as women that delay marriage, some of them the afraid of responsibilities, also, meaning they have done sure that they afraid of responsibility, that I don't want to be a mother yet. I don't want to be, you know, a housewife yet. I just started to finish my education. I want to let's just do something for myself. And I don't want to take these responsibility plus the responsibilities that I have. That is one of the reasons that you also delay marriage. Now, what is the solution?

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The solution is number one, we all men and women need to come back to Islam.

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Because the lifestyle that you're looking for is a Western lifestyle.

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is a Western lifestyle.

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is what you see on TV.

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If what you're looking for beautiful, tall, skinny hands, you know, beautiful girl, that is what the TV told you you should look for. You're looking someone who's handsome as does the TV lifestyle, someone romantic, that's a TV lifestyle, you know, come back to Islam and come back to the foundation of life

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and be real in your approach in this.

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If we want to resolve this issue

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for us to understand our current life is imperative is important. And I will say to the sisters Mashallah pass final data. I will say to the brothers, let us go back to the foundation of our Deen and let us accept marriage both based on either attackmen Cardona, Dena wahaca if a man comes to you and you satisfied with his Deen

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Marry that person and marry women for the deen. Not for beauty, not for anything else. And Allah would bless that marriage, which is our Kamala Harris salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.