Channel: Musleh Khan
10 Signs Your Marriage is in Trouble – #4 Every fight gets worse
Shaykh Musleh discusses the escalation of anger contributing to problems in the marital relationship.
Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu brothers and sisters, your marriage is in trouble if and here's number for every dispute or disagreement. Every argument. Every fight seems to get worse and worse, it keeps escalating. And the attitude from either one or both sides is when one person is shouting and arguing, the other person isn't trying to defuse the situation. But he or she is thinking how can I come back to you worse? How can I insult you more? How can I argue with you more? How can I win win win? This attitude will ruin any relationship whether it's a marriage or not listening to Allah subhanho wa Taala secret ingredient to control any form of argument. Allah
subhanho wa Taala says and suited for con, what is the hot tub of whom will j Hello, Paulo Salama, whenever the J Hill Now it's important for you to understand what a j Hill is. Normally people translate j Hill as somebody who is ignorant. But more specifically j Hill comes from the word jehlen. Which means somebody who doesn't have control over their emotions. Now this is ideal for the person who's in an argument, especially in their in their marriage, because at that moment, one of the greatest, most severe traps of shaitan is to get control of you when you're angry. This is why Allah the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told the man who asked him yellow suit Allah oseni O
Messenger of Allah, give me advice. Now this advice is not just any regular advice, LCD from the word with was senior literally means to give me advice that I can take for the rest of my life. I can live by this advice. So usually, if you tell somebody to do something, you say, Okay, this is my advice for today for you to get through this day. Usually advice has an expiry date is just for a short period or for that particular circumstance, they will see it is a lifetime. So this man is asking the prophesies tell him give me advice that I will take for the rest of my life. What does the prophecy set him say to him,
don't lose control over your anger. And the prophecy still repeats this three times, just showing you how serious this is. I honestly believe that the core issue or problem that causes all the problems in marriages is anger. This is just the deep it's it's the it's where problems are born when you can control your anger with one another. And it can manifest into the most simplest things. If you're not content with the way she cooks, then it makes you upset and if you don't control that feeling, then you get more and more upset every single time the food doesn't have the right taste, you get more and more upset when he or she is not fulfilling their rights. You get more and more
upset and just continues to manifest itself and build and get stronger and stronger. And this is why the prophets I sent him says the moment you feel angry, don't stop it right away. And so brothers and sisters Now think about it. When when two couples when they're fighting with one another and arguing what happens what's the attitude there? Allah Allah azza wa jal says, What is the hot tub of Mojo de Lune Allah uses the word hot tub which comes from the word hot button, which means to give a sermon in a loud voice. When you're talking to somebody in a loud voice. That's a horrible So Allah is saying to you, when somebody who can control their emotions is talking screaming at you, what do
you do? You don't scream higher, and you don't insult more or less Paulo Salama, that's the secret ingredient in Korean to solve all of your anger problems, respond with Salama Salaam in this area means respond in a dignified way. So tell your husband tell your wife, just relax, just calm down. If you want to shout, if you want to raise your voice if you're going to insult me, I'm not going to have this conversation. walk out of the room, go take a break, allow the situation to calm down. This is you playing the role that you're trying to respond in a more dignified and a more appropriate manner. This is the son of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam companions used to
lose their anger and the prophets of Salaam would tell them don't do that he would command them to stop because he knew how this could escalate to further issues in the marriage. Most marriages today literally end up in problems and turmoil and even some of them in exchange.
Cases end up in divorce because one or both sides can control their anger, then you know what happens? That same anger goes into divorce. And before you know it, instead of having a peaceful divorce, you end up meeting in court, and you end up fighting and taking away each other's property and each other's money and finding custody battles and so on. You know how the list goes on. All of this sprouted out from one thing, what was it, you couldn't control your temper? And so we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to give us that control. This is one of the secret ingredients that will help you get control over your marriage. When you get control over your anger. May Allah subhanho wa Taala
give us the strength to say como lo hieron salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh