Having Children Won’t Change Him!

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Saad Tasleem

Channel: Saad Tasleem

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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And that is that a sister who is maybe being abused in her house. Maybe he's a victim of domestic violence.

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She's been suffering in her household. And she goes, and she asks for help, maybe from a family member. And by the way, oftentimes when we talk about domestic abuse and the response to domestic abuse, often that people single out the Imam and say, why didn't the Imam help her. But I assure you that in most cases, she has gone to many people before she went to the Imam before she went to someone else. And oftentimes, those are her close friends and her family members, and perhaps her parents as well. So maybe she goes to her parents, she goes to some loved ones, and she tells them that my husband has been abusing me that my husband is abusing the children.

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And they reply to her, be patient. They tell her, Allah will reward you for the difficulty that you're going through. Allah will save you just make dua. Why is it that in the first scenario, it is clear to us that that is an incorrect understanding of patience. Yet in the second scenario, we have no problem telling this woman to be patient to make them to pray more. And oftentimes, we'll say things to her like, you know what, just give it time.

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And sometimes it's a it's a cultural matter, right? That we don't want her to be known as a woman who has been divorced. We don't want to bring shame upon the family. We don't want people to know we don't want the community to know we don't want other family members to know that there's problems in their relationship and sometimes the family themselves, her own parents will tell her, be quiet. Don't even talk about it. Don't even bring it up. Just be patient. Sometimes they'll say to her, just wait.

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Wait until you have a child because you know what? He may he may be messed up right now your husband's messed up. But once you have kids, everything will be okay.

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And we all know that having kids doesn't solve anything. As a matter of fact, if there was one victim in the house before. Now with kids, there are multiple victims of that abuse.