Traits of Hypocrisy Part 4

Riyadul Haqq


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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim.

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Smilla Rahmanir Rahim

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Allah rapa Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala so you didn't Marcelino hot I mean the been

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promoting Wada, the use of the hegemon in

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my bad so far was Billa ministry on every gene Spindler, man of Rahim in Allahumma eco saloon Island and Johan Lilina sidhwani. He was sending sleep

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well laden salam ala Sayidina Muhammad and in the VU me or other the semblance

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specter liscense Miranda La Habra, Ricardo,

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we continue with the theme of

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and the traits of hypocrisy.

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And then when I've gone the hypocrites,

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previously, I

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explained the beginning verses of Surah Baqarah.

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And this set of verses is the first set of verses in the Quran that deals that that deals with the topic of the hypocrites and hypocrisy. So I've concluded that and as promised, in sha Allah, I'll continue to select different verses from the Quran, which deal with this topic, and comment on them in the hope that we can identify the traits and the characteristics of hypocrisy is Allah subhanaw taala has defined so that we may

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be wary

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of such traits, and try to eradicate them from our character if we find any trace of them in others.

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So the next set of verses, there are quite a few verses of the Holy Quran that deal with them and I've gone

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and not all of them are necessarily suitable for discussion here.

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But another set of verses which deal with the traits of hypocrisy, I say they aren't unsuitable because they are quite detailed and multifaceted and

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have many of the topics entwined with them. For instance, in sort of the Bacara last panel with the ILO speaks about the behavior of the monarch for the Hippocrates at the time of the changing of the fibula. So that is another set of verses, but it's not exclusively to do with the traits of hypocrisy. Rather, it's a very lengthy discussion about the changing of the Qibla. And

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there was opposition, there was confusion, and many of the things and the part of the hypocrites played was also one part but it wasn't the only and main part.

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But another set of verses which exclusively deals with the trace of hypocrisy is

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a set of verses in Surah Baqarah again, in which Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah says, women and nasem in your attribute, Allah who have inherited dunya where shall we you should love Allah Matthew quality what were some what is that well Lhasa fell out of the leaves to the fee while you look at the heart of the oneness, Allah Allah you will facade will either be the look of tequila that is too small Jen well a bit send me hard I'm in a NASA machine of soap divert metadata and Allah will often be labor

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of the people

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there is one

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the wording is singular it's not plural. So it identifies one person. So women in nursing when you are Gible Coldwell that hire to dunya

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the of the people that is one

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whose words whose speech please pleases you

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in the worldly life,

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we Shiv la dama.

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And he makes a lot of witness over what's in his heart.

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What we're allowed to have

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and he is

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most contentious and Vin, of the opposes of the opponents of the adversaries.

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And for continue, Who is Allah Subhan Allah with the Allah speaking of

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many orlimar say that this verse was originally revealed about one of the leaders of the Hippocrates again, someone like Abdullah Hypnobabies said or not him, but another one, some say was revealed about lessness of machete.

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Someone who was wealthy, powerful, influential, but who opposed a sort of loss and Allahu alayhi wa salam, but at the same time pretended to be

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a carer a friend, a sympathizer to Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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But, like many verses of the Quran,

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even though a verse may have been revealed about one hypocrites or a group of hypocrites, what concerns us is the traits mentioned there,

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that we should be aware of and that we should be fearful of. And this is why the dilemma always say that in throughout the Quran, although verses were revealed, at times, not always, but verses were revealed after on a particular occasion

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regarding one particular individual after one specific incident or event,

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that may have happened, but the lessons are eternal and universal.

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So similarly here.

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What concerns is, is the characteristics and the traits that Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah mentions in these verses and this is why the MRC, this verse is relevant and applicable to every hypocrites to every individual who behaves in this way.

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So women and Nassima, Yojimbo, Congo

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and of the people that is one whose speech pleases she impresses you.

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So going back to the time of Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi salam, originally, the person who is being addressed is the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa salam, that of the people around you,

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that are those

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or there is someone specifically who comes to you speaks to

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and he is so charming, so convincing, so eloquent?

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That his speech, his words, impress even you a Messenger.

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They please you.

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And they are so convincing, so vociferous in their claim, it's so persistent,

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that to prove themselves, they swear oath upon oath, taking the name of Allah

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and swearing and claiming that what they say about their sympathy for you, their love for you, they believe in you. All of this is true, and that they are not lying, but they are honest and truthful. They will swear in the name of Allah swear oath upon oath. And that's what Allah says, when you hit la dama feel calm, and he makes Allah who witness

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over what's in his heart. And this is how the hypocrites were then, and how they have always been and will always be. And this is one of the main traits of hypocrisy as we learned in the Sierra Salton one afternoon, right at the beginning of the surah Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah says, is our jackal Manasa Alma Aruna shirt, no shadow in Nicola rasool Allah.

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When the when the hypocrites come to you again O Messenger of Allah, when the hypocrites come see, they say, in the shadow in Nicola rasool Allah, we testify

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that indeed,

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you are most assuredly the Messenger of Allah. These words of Mine, these various words of Mine aren't an embellishment or an emphasis on my part. They are actually a translation of every

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Word and letter in the sentence.

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If Agia couldn't one after all, when the hypocrites come to you, or will they say,

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No Shall we testify?

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We bear testimony

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in that indeed you Verily you learn this is known as lamb with that key, the Lamb of emphasis

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that indeed you are learn most assuredly Rasul Allah, the Messenger of Allah

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and that's how they were.

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When they would come before us all last Allahu alayhi wa sallam,

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they would act they would put on an act, a show, they would say what ever was required, they would swear any oath in the name of Allah. They would add emphasis upon emphasis, they will protect their innocence. They would be they will try to be charming, convincing. In fact, they will try to be more honest than anyone else who's honest, more truthful than the truthful.

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overdoing it overcompensate

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because that's their nature, for them, truth, lungs, words, oaths, swearing in the Name of Allah, all of this is equal, it makes no difference. What matters is the goal, the objective,

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if the objective is to please this person, say whatever is required.

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In order there's a phrase that at the time of necessity when someone comes to speak and

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so the phrases, but they go be Bob banality go there go be Babylon.

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Which means that when a person comes to speaking and convincing,

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and has to put on that charm, and that show, he even make a donkey his dad.

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So, indeed, for a hypocrite.

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Words don't matter. Words are meaningless. The truth is meaningless.

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What matters is the goal, the objective,

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and to achieve that objective, to arrive at that destination, Everything is permissible and lawful. You can say and do what you want.

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And that's how they would be before us all Allah, Allah, Allah Almighty.

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And this verse says exactly the same woman and now same in your job or older who inherited them, where you should Allah Allah Murphy,

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the other people that is one whose words whose statement whose speech pleases you impresses you.

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And not only that, but he goes even further, we use hidden law law mafia a little bit, and he makes a lot of witness over what's in his heart.

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So what lessons can we learn from this one?

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A believer is honest in speech indeed.

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A believer doesn't protest too much, doesn't protest their innocence too much. A believer

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doesn't have to speak too much.

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A believer doesn't shouldn't feel it's necessary to convince the other person and in all and in trying to convince the other person, be verbose and say anything, speak excessively, and swear in the name of Allah unnecessarily. This is not the character and habits of a believer, a believer is very cautious when it comes to the name of Allah. A believer does not take the name of a live thing

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and we know very well that if someone

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is protesting their innocence too much, saying anything that's required

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normally that should make us wary.

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That is not the behavior of a mob of a belief. This is how the Mona Lisa

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and the thing is they are utterly charming and convincing

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because woman

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terribly, they believe in their own lies momentarily. They actually believe in their own lives.

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One of the things about lives is that they actually concoct a story in their heads.

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So they make a story, they spin a yarn, a story in their heads, they come, they concoct a fiction in their heads. And then they actually follow that fiction.

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This is why they don't stumble. They don't stutter.

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They don't fall to the don't hold.

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The narrative is smooth.

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And it's utterly convincing.

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Because they've actually hatched a plot and concocted a story in their heads

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momentarily. They know they are lying, but momentarily, they believe their lie. And they need to do it in order to convince the other purse.

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In fact,

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one of the signs of that, well, it's not a sign but one of the things about the hypocrites during the time of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Of course, not all of them, but the leaders, as Allah describes them.

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Is in sort of doom and gloom. What does Allah subhanho wa Taala say way though, a tutor Angelica at some in your guru, this magical him that when you see them their bodies please you

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were in your guru, the smell your cola him and if they speak, you listen to their words.

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They were eloquent.

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Charming and convincing. And this is why in a hadith related by mom would have been humbling as Muslims and by others are sold lots of the law or legal sell themselves in half or Allah Mithi good lamona 15 Aleem in the sun, indeed.

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One of the greatest fears that I fear for my ummah, is one of the greatest fears that I fear for my ummah, is called Illumina, if you've been heard imminently son, every month, every hypocrites who is eloquence of tongue,

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learned of tongue

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they can be very argumentative and persuasive, very pushy and persistent.

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People often just capitulate and surrender and given.

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And this is why Allah Enza verse with the word we use hidden Allah Allah Murphy. He makes Allah who witness over walks in his heart while we're allowed to do Islam, and he is the most contentious, the most vehement of the opponents of the adversaries.

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He is the most quarrels.

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Of those who argue this is the meaning of a liberal Hassan

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the most argumentative

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of the argues the most quarrelsome of the querulous

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the most divisive, vociferous and veterans of the opponents in the house.

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They never give up.

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They never give up. They will take it to the till the end.

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They have to prove themselves, right.

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That's when they are SATs.

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Now, this is another lesson. So one of the lessons we learn is that

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we shouldn't take Allah's Name in vain. We shouldn't have to bring in Allah's name in every argument and every dispute in every conversation.

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We shouldn't feel pressed to try to convince the other person

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but the greatest lesson is this ending of the verse about Assam, being quarrelsome, being argumentative.

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being pushy and persistent.

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In arguments is actually one of the traits of them on Earth.

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And this is why in the Hadith later by mumble hottie and others are so many and aren't shuttled the Allah says, The soul of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

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in the Abba Ricciardi Illa Allah he'll have to Huson indeed

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One of the most detested

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men, one of the most detested people in the sight of Allah is a lead dual harassing the argumentative adversary, the quarrelsome quarrel.

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Same similar words, Abdul Hassan, Hassan is a gemera, the plural of Hussmann. So in the Hadith, it's singular. In the Quran, it's plural second word, but they both refer to the same thing.

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A liberal Huseyn, an argument,

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adversarial individual.

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So who is such a quarrelsome, adversarial,

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argumentative person?

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Someone who has to argue, who has to dispute

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who has to resist?

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Who has to say something?

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Who has to pick a fight

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and not not necessarily a physical altercation. But just an argument.

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Someone who has to say something.

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Pick a point.

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argue, quarrel, debate.

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make themselves known interfere.

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Someone who can't remain silent. Someone who refuses to accept and resists everything.

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Such a person by the testimony of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam is one of the most tested in the sight of Allah. Such people are detested amongst creation, who likes an argumentative person who does? Even the argumentative, quarrelsome people don't like argumentative, quarrelsome people.

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No one loves

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a person no one likes a person no one finds such a person tolerable

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who, someone who is quarrelsome, argumentative, disputing, resisting, in everything.

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Always picking fights, picking an argument, someone who has to save some

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this is not the character. This is not the behavior of a mock. This is the behavior of a monad fit.

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Someone who has to always pick a friend.

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So one of the lessons we can learn is to observe silence. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa salam says in a hadith led by man Bihari momsteam, and others

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muncom up Nabila he will Yeoman

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for local hire and Alia smooth so long

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that mankind Allah who will Yeoman

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whoever believes in Allah, the final day for the equilibrium and only a small, then he should say something good, otherwise remain silent.

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One of the greatest lessons from the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa salam, we should learn to do this. We should train ourselves and discipline ourselves.

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To do to do it this

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holding our silence, holding our peace, remaining quiet, only parting our lips if we have something good say, if we don't have anything good say, zipping our lips, shutting our mouth, sealing our lips not saying a word

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man some of the Naja.

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Whoever remained silent.

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He was saved

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to Miami rue de la harm as Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a hadith later my mom told me the and others. Manager or messenger of Allah what salvation How can a person save himself? Probably some of the love Eileen was salam said I'm sick alikhan Asana he said three things. I'm sick. I like an Asana call you sack or veto or Kiala healthy attic. The second thing was, let your home confine you remain at home while Kiana huddly ethic and weep over your sin. But the first word was unsick la Karissa

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I'm sick i nacreous Oh,

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Hold your tongue

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that's what we should do. That's what we that's one thing we can learn.

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Always having to speak always having to say something. Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa salam was, was a very calm and silent individual. He spoke only one less.

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One of the most remarkable things about him we can learn so much from him.

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I was mentioned someone just recently they were asking me about

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how a person should spend their day and night

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in broad general terms. And one of the things I mentioned was the sort of loss of the love it will send them lived in tune with nature.

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after Isha, they will perform Isha Salah

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and his wives relate this, that he would go home.

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If there was a need for him to speak to his wives, his family, he would speak otherwise without speaking he would retire to bed.

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And he would fall asleep.

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He wouldn't even speak with his family after ation

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unless there was a requirement unless there was a necessity. And his wives actually use those words, that if there was a need for him to speak and converse with his family, he would

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otherwise he wouldn't speak.

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Look, I'm not saying that's good for you.

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To go home and not say a word. That was an assault Allah, so Allah, Allah, Allah.

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And they were the MaHA mean, the Mothers of the Believers.

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But the point I'm making is, he was a man of very few words.

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He wouldn't say

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he would speak only when nests and even then he wouldn't raise his voice. He was calm, collected, quiet, reserved, soft of speech, silent.

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one of very few select words

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soft of speed selective of speech,

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and that is the sun.

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And how is this relevant to this discussion, when a person practices silence, observes reservation

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and withholds their tongue, as much as possible on different occasions, then, by their own training in discipline, when an awkward situation arises, and there is a possibility of an argument there is a possibility of a dispute, there is a possibility of being provoked. Then even on such occasions, their training comes in handy.

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They remain calm.

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They remain silent.

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They don't talk.

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They don't resist

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and wanna look

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at the term of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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this is a trait of hypocrisy. What does the moon arfield argue? Resist?

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is persistent,

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foul man format, always having to say something.

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He always wants the last word

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always wants the last word.

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That is not the character of a mob.

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This is why we have been encouraged not to argue with each yes arguments take place. It's natural.

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We should try to minimize and minimize that.

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are an everyday fact of life.

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The Sahaba or the Allah who

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argued with each other.

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But what Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught is

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compromise agreement if every person sticks tenaciously to their position

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where is the solution?

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Something has to give someone has to give.

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In fact, it's related in the Hadith that garbled nomadic or the alarm.

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He had lent someone some famous hobby of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam, where I've covered

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much about him in detail in the long hadith of Eagle Buhari, which I commented on hadith of Gabbard and the Hadith of gabungan nomadic or the Allah hiring, regarding the book, etc, which is available, so you can refer to that. So the same gamma cinematical the Allaha. And once he had an argument,

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sorry, he had lent money to somebody.

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And that person wasn't paying him back.

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Some garbled mnemonic it will be Allah horn, and his detta

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began arguing about this in the masjid of Rasulullah sallallahu it was

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and they were arguing so loudly that the Prophet Sall Allahu alayhi wa sallam who was inside his house heard them so he came out, you remove the partition and came out.

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And when he saw cataloguing the monocle, the alarm and the other person, and he had heard the words, he knew they were arguing about a debt and unpaid debt

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that was owed to Captain America the alarm? What is the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam to Allahu Akbar, straightaway, you said to him, yeah, Garrett, oh, girl.

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half of the debt, forgive half of the debt.

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And then he signaled with his hands

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that shed forgive knockoff half of the debt.

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And these were the Sahaba or the Allahu Anhu. A moment before they were he was arguing.

00:32:16--> 00:32:23

And their voices were raised. Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam hurt them when he came out. And he said to him, Oh, God,

00:32:24--> 00:32:30

shed half of the debt. What was garbled mnemonic for the loved ones reply.

00:32:33--> 00:32:35

Of course, yellow slow. straightaway.

00:32:37--> 00:32:44

As soon as he said yes, era sort of Allah. Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to the other person, rise and pay him his debt.

00:32:47--> 00:32:48

And the matter was resolved.

00:32:49--> 00:32:53

disputes are a fact of life.

00:32:55--> 00:33:03

In fact, what a once a father and son disagreed about and then during the time the prophets of Allah it was

00:33:06--> 00:33:11

a father and son disagree. So the son went to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam.

00:33:17--> 00:33:18

And this is why the older man

00:33:19--> 00:33:26

have a discussion. One of the things to be learned from that heading is, can a man take his father to court?

00:33:27--> 00:33:30

Can a man take his father to court?

00:33:32--> 00:33:38

And yes, he can. That's what the sahabi did. He took his father toward a suit Allah, Allah, Allah Allah himself

00:33:44--> 00:33:52

because he went to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam to resolve the dispute that he had with his father and he was over money. Of course, the Father had given sadaqa

00:33:54--> 00:33:59

what had happened is that the Father had appointed someone to distribute charity.

00:34:01--> 00:34:22

So he gave it to him, that person went around distributing the charity, and he ended up giving it to his son, the donors son. So when the father learned that the person I had given responsibility to distribute charity, of course, he had given others but he had also ended up giving it to my son inadvertently without realizing.

00:34:24--> 00:34:27

So the father said to the Son, this wasn't meant for you.

00:34:29--> 00:34:34

So the son said, well, I need it. Father said he wasn't meant for you.

00:34:35--> 00:34:51

Since it well, it was given to me and I need it for the Sedna. So the sentiment of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said the artists will Allah. I was given this wealth and charity, I need it. I am dependent on it. I deserve it.

00:34:52--> 00:34:54

But because my father was the original donor,

00:34:56--> 00:35:00

he's refusing to accept that I should have it for

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

So Allah Allah wa salam summoned

00:35:03--> 00:35:08

and is that terms pan Allah, this is the way the Prophet sallallahu alayhi, wa salam resolved disputes.

00:35:10--> 00:35:12

He heard a son.

00:35:13--> 00:35:15

He heard what the son had to say.

00:35:18--> 00:35:21

Many fathers, many parents come to the orlimar.

00:35:27--> 00:35:29

And they say, speak to my son.

00:35:32--> 00:35:33

Speak tomorrow

00:35:36--> 00:35:42

and the attitude isn't that we have a disagreement, can you

00:35:45--> 00:35:53

speak to my Son, listen to what he has to say. And then, if you can advise us now

00:35:56--> 00:35:57

speak to my son, please.

00:36:00--> 00:36:09

And the idea is, you tell him what I want him to do and what I am telling you

00:36:11--> 00:36:21

and will lie often, not so much now, but especially in the past. It's like, parents would actually say to me, can you speak to my son?

00:36:23--> 00:36:24

Fathers say why?

00:36:27--> 00:36:32

I want him to marry my knees but he's refusing. So you talk some Sensient

00:36:34--> 00:36:35

Of course I wouldn't say it's but

00:36:37--> 00:36:40

my immediate thought was well, who's going to talk sense to you?

00:36:43--> 00:36:45

Manny my knees.

00:36:49--> 00:36:52

So sort of pseudo Allah Subhan Allah, Allah who said,

00:36:53--> 00:36:54

he would listen

00:36:56--> 00:36:57

even to the children.

00:36:59--> 00:37:03

So he heard what the son had to say and look at how he resolved it. He said to the Father,

00:37:06--> 00:37:10

you gave with the intention of charity. And you have received your

00:37:13--> 00:37:14

you've received your

00:37:15--> 00:37:19

your reward isn't impacted in any way. So you've received your evil

00:37:20--> 00:37:21

and he received it

00:37:23--> 00:37:27

in good faith, and the wealth came to him. So let him keep

00:37:28--> 00:37:33

he got what he needed. You got what you deserve your reward.

00:37:34--> 00:37:37

So even father and son

00:37:39--> 00:37:45

fell out and had a disagreement when it came to wealth during the time of the Prophet Silla love it.

00:37:46--> 00:37:54

So our disagreements are a fact of life. parents disagree with their children, siblings disagree.

00:37:55--> 00:38:00

Spouses, husbands and wives disagree. Everyone disagrees.

00:38:01--> 00:38:08

is Islam doesn't say you can't disagree or fall into disputes with anyone. No.

00:38:09--> 00:38:27

what Islam teaches us is that disagreements are a fact of life disputes are a fact of life. You have to learn how to manage them, how to control them, and how not to misbehave. In a disagreement in an argument.

00:38:30--> 00:38:33

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had disagreements with his wives

00:38:36--> 00:38:38

and strong disagreements at times

00:38:42--> 00:38:43


00:38:52--> 00:38:55

loss of Hannah who were there other tests

00:38:58--> 00:38:59


00:39:00--> 00:39:03

disputing contentious

00:39:05--> 00:39:09

belligerent individuals love to test

00:39:12--> 00:39:13

those who always wants to pick a farm

00:39:14--> 00:39:16

we need to learn not talk.

00:39:17--> 00:39:21

Even in a disagreement things can be resolved

00:39:23--> 00:39:38

and this is why in that famous Hadith gain related by Mahatma Muslim and others from I'm delighted I'm gonna ask for the Allahumma the beginning is a Berryman good enough economy in Africa heartless. There are four things which found in a person

00:39:40--> 00:39:43

which are found in a person then he is a pure hypocrites.

00:39:44--> 00:39:51

And if one of these traits is found in him, then he has an imitative hypocrisy until he removes it.

00:39:52--> 00:40:00

And then, what's the fourth? What's the final trade that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam mentioned the fourth trait in this particular

00:40:00--> 00:40:06

Get a hottie what either handsome or fragile when he disputes his sin.

00:40:08--> 00:40:10

That's the trait of a monarch.

00:40:12--> 00:40:20

Even and what men disputes even a McMinn falls into disagreement, even allotment ends up having an argument or a fallout with something

00:40:21--> 00:40:22

that happens.

00:40:24--> 00:40:27

But the movement the believer contains the disagreement

00:40:29--> 00:40:34

manages it contains. And that's the most important thing. If the disagreement is about money.

00:40:37--> 00:40:45

The movement ensures that that that disagreement remains between him and the other person, and remains only about money.

00:40:47--> 00:40:50

He doesn't extend this or extrapolate to other things,

00:40:52--> 00:40:53

or to other people.

00:40:56--> 00:41:03

He doesn't expect that because I have a disagreement with this individual, everyone else has to oppose him too.

00:41:05--> 00:41:08

And anyone who's his friend, is my enemy.

00:41:11--> 00:41:14

My enemies friend is my is my enemy, too.

00:41:15--> 00:41:16

That's not the character of a model.

00:41:18--> 00:41:19

That's arrogance.

00:41:21--> 00:41:28

A person thinks that I disagree with this person, I have a dispute with this individual, right? Everyone else

00:41:29--> 00:41:30

should make an enemy of into.

00:41:33--> 00:41:35

And if they don't,

00:41:37--> 00:41:39

then I'm hostile to them.

00:41:43--> 00:41:52

That's the meaning of what you are handsome or fragile when he disputes his sins. He doesn't contain the disagreement. He extends it to other people.

00:41:54--> 00:42:01

And he extends it to other things beyond the original disagreement.

00:42:02--> 00:42:06

He takes it beyond wealth, he takes it to other things to

00:42:07--> 00:42:11

somehow Subhan Allah Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah teachers as in the Quran,

00:42:12--> 00:42:16

that Allah did not hold even family members to account

00:42:18--> 00:42:19

for the rebellion

00:42:20--> 00:42:29

of their own family members. Normally his Salam, Allah subhanho wa Taala did not hold him to account for his son, or for his wife.

00:42:30--> 00:42:35

Ibrahim alayhis salam, Allah did not hold him to account for his father as

00:42:38--> 00:42:42

Ruth Alayhis Salam, Allah did not hold them to account for his wife.

00:42:44--> 00:42:57

Why for Pharaoh asiyah, the Allahu anha. Allah mentions, though not by name in the Quran, last panel, who would Allah did not hold her to account for her husband's behavior?

00:42:59--> 00:43:13

No one is responsible for another person's behavior. What it does, it was a little miserable. And no soul shall bear the sin and the burden of another soul. That's the law of Allah. Why should if Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:43:16--> 00:43:25

does not hold father to account for the son, wife for the husband, the husband, for the Wife, Son for the father, then who are we

00:43:26--> 00:43:38

to extend our disagreements, our conflicts and disputes to the whole family into the whole generation and expect everyone to agree with us in our enmity and dispute with others?

00:43:49--> 00:43:49


00:43:51--> 00:44:02

we behave childish, childish. And the next thing you know, the two people who are disagreeing, they will try to make everyone else their enemy too. And then

00:44:03--> 00:44:04


00:44:05--> 00:44:06

they become friends again.

00:44:08--> 00:44:13

When they become friends, again, they don't bother trying to make everybody their friends.

00:44:14--> 00:44:15

Now everyone else is the enemy.

00:44:19--> 00:44:25

This is why one of the greatest problems, although my experience is marital disputes,

00:44:26--> 00:44:27

will lie.

00:44:28--> 00:44:30

Husbands and wives argue

00:44:31--> 00:44:34

they go to an island amount of experiences throughout my life.

00:44:36--> 00:44:36

He says

00:44:39--> 00:44:42

Let me begin with her. She says he's a scum of the earth.

00:44:43--> 00:44:45

The worst of all God's creation.

00:44:46--> 00:44:47

I don't want to see his face.

00:44:51--> 00:44:52

He says

00:44:55--> 00:44:56

I don't have anything to do with

00:44:58--> 00:44:59

he's like this. He's like that she's

00:45:00--> 00:45:01

like this is like that handler.

00:45:03--> 00:45:06

Now when people contact me,

00:45:08--> 00:45:11

I rarely listen. Beyond the first few words.

00:45:13--> 00:45:14

I just say,

00:45:15--> 00:45:18

Hold on, what do you want of me?

00:45:19--> 00:45:21

What do you want of me?

00:45:28--> 00:45:30

Because if you let them start,

00:45:31--> 00:45:33

they could go on all day and all night.

00:45:36--> 00:45:40

So I normally cut it short, and I say, What do you want of me?

00:45:41--> 00:45:51

How can I help you? Ask me a specific question. And Alan's asked me for specific advice. And I'll give it to you if I can.

00:46:01--> 00:46:07

And then, this panel, you try to help you try to advise

00:46:08--> 00:46:11

another and take it from me, I'm saying it's for the record.

00:46:14--> 00:46:22

It has always been my policy not of today and not yesterday. But for decades, from the very beginning,

00:46:23--> 00:46:27

and know this, repeat it if required.

00:46:31--> 00:46:38

And take this from me for the record. I never, ever tell people what to do. Never.

00:46:46--> 00:46:47

And there's a reason

00:46:48--> 00:46:50

I never tell people want.

00:46:51--> 00:47:00

Ask me a question. I'll give you a reply fightcamp, from what the texts and the scriptures of the Islam set, say.

00:47:06--> 00:47:12

If you say to me, should I do this is should I divorce him? Should I divorce her?

00:47:13--> 00:47:16

I never, ever tell people what to do.

00:47:18--> 00:47:23

It's up to you. That's your choice. That's your decision. That's what you need to determine.

00:47:25--> 00:47:30

No one else can make that choice for I'm not even going to guide you in any one direction.

00:47:35--> 00:47:37

If you ask me what,

00:47:39--> 00:47:44

from my knowledge and experience, what normally happens, I can tell you that this normally happens.

00:47:45--> 00:47:59

If you ask me what the Hadith says what the Quran says what the rule Mr. Say, What the What's, what's historical, what's historically been the norm, etc. I can maybe reply

00:48:00--> 00:48:02

back to what you should do. I never

00:48:03--> 00:48:12

tell anyone I never advise. And yet, and yet, despite me never advising anyone, what to do.

00:48:13--> 00:48:22

The this often what happens is that the couple who are at each other's throats, and who declare each other to be the scum of the earth,

00:48:23--> 00:48:25

and the worst of God's creation.

00:48:26--> 00:48:28

Next thing you know, they're back together again.

00:48:29--> 00:48:34

And not only are they back together again, but was I saying earlier when those who are in dispute,

00:48:36--> 00:48:47

disagree with each other. They expect the whole world to join them in their disagreement and in their disputes and in their enmity. Yet when they get together again. That's it. Now it's them against the word.

00:48:49--> 00:48:53

So often when couples get back together, not always but often.

00:48:54--> 00:48:57

Especially the most contentious argumentative ones

00:48:58--> 00:49:01

it's bizarre how can they get together after all of that?

00:49:02--> 00:49:09

But then it's like oh, we finally together that's good. What was all that about?

00:49:12--> 00:49:20

Oh, no, I never said that. I never did that. Oh, it's just a huge misunderstanding. It's other people. It's other people trying to drive us apart.

00:49:21--> 00:49:22

It shave

00:49:26--> 00:49:26

he's the one

00:49:28--> 00:49:29


00:49:40--> 00:49:57

In the Ebola Ricciardi Illa Hill Ellen blossom. In the the most one of the most detested P men of men, one of the most detested people in the sight of Allah is the argumentative, contentious, quarrelsome adversary.

00:49:59--> 00:49:59

This is an

00:50:00--> 00:50:31

Not the traits of men. This is a trait of a monarch. Now, I'm not saying that anyone who does any of this becomes a monarch I've never said now, I've told you throughout the series of hypocrisy, that these are the traits of the original hypocrites. These are the traits of hypocrisy identified as such by Allah, His Rasulullah, sallAllahu alagille syndrome. And undoubtedly, we have these weaknesses inners.

00:50:33--> 00:51:13

But we so the idea is to learn about them to be weary of them, and to eradicate them from our character, just as the messenger SallAllahu sallam said that if any one of these traits is in him, then he has in him a trait of hypocrisy until he removes it. It doesn't make him a malefic. But as I said, on many occasions right at the beginning, that once these traits accumulate, and become entrenched in the person, then initially it may just be hypocrisy in terms of mismatch between the exterior and the interior in one's words on one's deeds.

00:51:14--> 00:51:38

What if they if they accumulate and become entrenched, there is a great danger that a person may stray into that area, whereby hypocrisy isn't just confined to hypocrisy of speech and a mismatch between speech indeed, but rather, hypocrisy becomes true hypocrisy of the heart, hypocrisy of faith,

00:51:40--> 00:51:41

that's a danger.

00:51:42--> 00:51:45

So being argumentative and quarrelsome is

00:51:47--> 00:51:51

one of the traits of hypocrisy. This is not how men behaves.

00:51:52--> 00:52:10

And disagreements are a fact of life when a Mormon disagrees, what does he or she do? And what men confines the disagreement to the original disagreement? And what men a believer doesn't extend that disagreement to other things with the same person or even to other P

00:52:13--> 00:52:14


00:52:15--> 00:52:19

and a McMahon seeks compromise and what mean forgives.

00:52:20--> 00:52:22

And what mean overlooks

00:52:24--> 00:52:34

and what mean doesn't, doesn't remain entrenched in their position tenaciously holding on to what they believe is wrong. What does it achieve

00:52:38--> 00:52:43

I quote my father used to often say to me, and he used to cite

00:52:50--> 00:52:53

has more than a use of a candle we ran to lay

00:52:54--> 00:53:00

you off of here to Sahaba and various other books. It's a great scholar

00:53:03--> 00:53:23

hasn't gone on our use of candle rewrite Allah Halley's beautiful words, were bats in some ill to Jota Hima in the Horta, that in with debates and discussion, a man is compelled to agree with you, but he never becomes in deity.

00:53:25--> 00:53:32

And if I was to give a literal translation, with argument, with debate but Hudson,

00:53:33--> 00:53:40

in Sun are ill to hota hai MA in the heat water, meaning he accepts,

00:53:41--> 00:53:43

but he never becomes inclined.

00:53:45--> 00:53:46

That's what arguments achieves.

00:53:48--> 00:53:52

I'm right, you're wrong. Fine. And then what?

00:53:54--> 00:54:03

You've made yourself happy momentarily. You've given yourself a pat on the back. You feel smug, and SATs satisfied momentarily.

00:54:06--> 00:54:14

What has he achieved? You've broken mirrors, you've smashed glass. You've burned bridges.

00:54:17--> 00:54:34

You've made people dislike you. You've made people resent you. Allah resents Allah tests and argumentative, obdurate, obstinate, quarrelsome individual and Allah is Allah.

00:54:36--> 00:54:39

He is Allah, what do you think of creation?

00:54:40--> 00:54:42

You argue

00:54:45--> 00:54:54

you fight your corner. You debate you try to prove your point. You say whatever is required.

00:54:57--> 00:54:57

And then

00:54:58--> 00:54:59

Okay, you win.

00:55:01--> 00:55:04

Have you achieved? Nothing?

00:55:05--> 00:55:18

You feel you are right, you feel vindicated. You feel smug and satisfied momentarily? How long does that smugness? How long does that satisfaction? Last? How long does that inner glow last?

00:55:22--> 00:55:27

Very short. And then what have you done in the process?

00:55:28--> 00:55:30

You've burned bridges.

00:55:32--> 00:55:33

If you're arguing with your wife,

00:55:35--> 00:55:37

and you just stick to your port

00:55:39--> 00:55:41

and you have to be proven wrong.

00:55:42--> 00:55:53

And you say whatever is required, fine. You might feel happy momentarily. What has it achieved? You've created resentment and bitterness, bitterness.

00:55:54--> 00:55:57

In the heart, of your own spams.

00:55:59--> 00:56:00

You've burned bridges.

00:56:01--> 00:56:02

That's what arguments do.

00:56:04--> 00:56:05

That's what disputes do.

00:56:07--> 00:56:19

This is why the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihe. Salam was to forgive. In fact, Subhan Allah What does Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah say, to Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam yet

00:56:21--> 00:56:30

yeah, you have to be your limit to hurray mama Hello Allah hulak The the metadata as logic will love affordable reign.

00:56:31--> 00:56:34

But follow the law hooligan daily letter A Monica.

00:56:35--> 00:56:38

Hola Hola, como la linea backing?

00:56:39--> 00:56:40

O prophets.

00:56:41--> 00:56:44

Why do you make haram upon yourself?

00:56:46--> 00:56:48

That's which Allah has made hello for you.

00:56:50--> 00:56:55

The email data as logic seeking the pleasure of your work.

00:56:56--> 00:57:03

Even Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam being who he was in his disagreements with his wives.

00:57:05--> 00:57:08

He actually said to them, okay, okay.

00:57:10--> 00:57:14

I won't do this anymore. He wasn't doing anything wrong.

00:57:15--> 00:57:19

But to appease them, to placate them to please me

00:57:21--> 00:57:27

to try and reduce the disagreements, to try and remove the quarrel,

00:57:28--> 00:57:35

to try to win their hearts. Even the Messenger of Allah said, Okay, I want this.

00:57:38--> 00:57:40

And they needed a bit more convincing.

00:57:42--> 00:57:46

So he said, I swear in the name of Allah, I won't do this anymore.

00:57:48--> 00:57:50

I take an oath that I won't do this.

00:57:52--> 00:57:55

And that was the nature of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:57:57--> 00:57:59

He wouldn't say anything himself.

00:58:00--> 00:58:03

Allah subhanho wa taala. Allah will always protect.

00:58:04--> 00:58:12

So Allah revealed verses of the Quran. Yeah, you're gonna be you're going to have to remember Allah Allah, that really metadata as watching,

00:58:13--> 00:58:27

oh prophets, why do you make that haram upon yourself that which is Allah, which Allah has made halal for you, the building metadata as well ergic whilst you are seeking the pleasure of your wives,

00:58:29--> 00:58:32

you trying to appease them, placate them, win them over.

00:58:35--> 00:58:58

Then Allah said to him, but for the love of Allah, He letter a man. Allah has made obligatory upon you, the unraveling of your oath, the breaking of your oath, that you took an oath me and it's please your wives, and in the process you made haram for yourself that which Allah made halal, you cannot do that on Messenger of Allah, you must break your oath.

00:59:01--> 00:59:08

What does the verse show that that's the extent to which the prophets of Allah Haile Salam compromised.

00:59:13--> 00:59:19

And if anyone seizes this, and says, See, see, see what the messenger of Allah did,

00:59:21--> 00:59:29

then that in itself is wrong because that's exactly what we're arguing against, to try and argue your corner.

00:59:30--> 00:59:48

Everyone's very good at knowing those verses and those that have these which are in their favor. So the husband knows all those verses and Hadith and the wives know the wife knows her verses and Hadith. And then we are arguing with each other using verses of the whole

00:59:49--> 00:59:50

sort of symbol

00:59:53--> 00:59:55

that goes against the very spirits of the

00:59:59--> 00:59:59

old should

01:00:00--> 01:00:24

Learn. I'm not I'm not just talking about husband and wife and every disagreement, this is a character of a movement. This is how Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was, this is how the Sahaba or the Allah and who were overlooking, forgiving look at gamma nomadic or the Allah. Okay, they all came. Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam heard them arguing. Imagine this, if someone owed us money.

01:00:25--> 01:00:32

And someone else then suggested, do you know what? Forgive him half for giving half of it? What would we do?

01:00:37--> 01:00:40

One once I was speaking to someone, he called me.

01:00:43--> 01:00:45

And he was telling me that

01:00:46--> 01:00:48

he was telling me about his marital problems.

01:00:49--> 01:00:50

So he said

01:00:52--> 01:00:57

he was a bit older, so I had to show him a bit, a bit of respect. He was much, much older.

01:00:58--> 01:01:00

Older, my father's age.

01:01:02--> 01:01:08

He was telling me about historically not now, but oh, I had this problem. I had that problem. So he said,

01:01:09--> 01:01:20

I told my brother, no, no. And he never told his brother. What happened is that he told his wife, I'm going to divorce you. That's it. I don't want you. I'm going to divorce you.

01:01:21--> 01:01:25

So she tried to speak to other family members.

01:01:27--> 01:01:29

And in the process, she spoke to his brother.

01:01:31--> 01:01:34

She's brother rang him. Now he's telling me this.

01:01:36--> 01:01:43

But why am I mentioning this to you is because I just said that if a third person comes in tells us, you drop half of the

01:01:45--> 01:01:51

debt. What happens to this? What either De La La Junta de la

01:01:52--> 01:02:04

ethminer. Hospital jahannam. When it's a set to him, fear Allah, arrogance and sin seizes him. We become even more arguments to more belligerent, it's more fiery.

01:02:05--> 01:02:10

So someone said to forgive half of the debt, we turn our cannons on them

01:02:11--> 01:02:29

saying how dead. So this just reminded me about this gentleman. He rang me, so he never rang me. He rang me and said want to come and see us. He came to see us my father's age. So then he was telling me about his historical problems. He said, I told my wife I'm going to divorce you.

01:02:31--> 01:02:38

So she spoke to my brother so my brother Amy. So here's why did his brother in again the third person to try and

01:02:39--> 01:02:41

bring about some reconciliation between?

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So his brothers had his own brother is that same day? You know, she's a good woman. Mashallah, what why didn't she keep her? So he's telling me is that do you know what I said to him? I said, if you think she's so good, you marry her.

01:03:01--> 01:03:08

He actually said, they said, his brother Hanuman said She's a good woman keeper. He said, If you think she's so good, you marry her.

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That's what happens in anger. That's why

01:03:15--> 01:03:32

so the Sahaba or the Allah or Nicole garbled mnemonic or the Allah Martin did, Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came out and he said, Yeah, carob Oh God, drop half of the debt, forgive half of the debt cabina Malika the Allah Allah said, Of course house.

01:03:36--> 01:03:43

Allah hates an argumentative, quarrelsome individual. This is a trait of a monarch. Not that of

01:03:44--> 01:04:21

an end here. We just did one verse but Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah says, or millon now. Simoni Ajiboye coldenhoff. Inherited dunya we should lohardaga field called Biggie Whoa, Bin Hassan and they are of the people those whose words please you and he makes Allah a witness of that which is in his heart. Yet while we're a liberal Assam he is the most contentious and most argumentative of equalities. May Allah subhanahu wa taala enable us to understand, may Allah make us amongst those who are tolerance forgiving, overlooking

01:04:24--> 01:04:34

who are accepting, accommodate? May Allah protect us from being amongst those who are always resisting, fighting,

01:04:35--> 01:04:37

arguing, or

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those who have to have the last word. Those who have to interject those who have to say something, those who have to prove their point, those who have to feel that they are proven rights and vindicate.

01:04:56--> 01:05:00

May Allah protect us from arguments unquote

01:05:01--> 01:05:24

And when we disagree, may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the wisdom and the enlightenment, to manage that disagreement in a good way, without breaking bonds without breaking ties without inflaming the situation, without aggravating the situation without burning our bridges.

01:05:29--> 01:05:33

We have to learn to live with each other because we will need each.

01:05:34--> 01:05:42

This is one of the ills of modern society, one of the ills of modern living, that we feel that we are too independent.

01:05:43--> 01:05:44

We don't need any

01:05:46--> 01:05:48

traditionally, people knew

01:05:50--> 01:05:53

that they needed each other. They depended on each

01:05:55--> 01:06:03

other and therefore even the most selfish of people would realize, but do you know what I have to tread carefully?

01:06:04--> 01:06:06

I can't spoil things.

01:06:07--> 01:06:08

Because one day,

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I will need this purse.

01:06:15--> 01:06:36

Like they used to be the sticker. I saw on a few occasions of the back of a car believes they're not legal anymore because they block the view bins in the olden days when people used to put large stickers on the back of the on the back window. So there was a sticker it said,

01:06:37--> 01:06:39

treat your children kindly.

01:06:41--> 01:06:44

Because they will choose your retirement home

01:06:49--> 01:06:54

treat your children kindly because they will choose your retirement.

01:06:56--> 01:07:08

So tread very carefully. Subhan Allah the lesson in there. I'm not saying it's valid, it shouldn't be. No parent should have to go into retirement. Allah Akbar,

01:07:09--> 01:07:10

Allahu Akbar.

01:07:13--> 01:07:16

No parent should have to go into retirement.

01:07:19--> 01:07:20


01:07:22--> 01:07:29

should look after their parents and serve them. Just as Allah is resourceful Allah Almighty, have taught us

01:07:34--> 01:07:35

we are so ungrateful,

01:07:36--> 01:07:38

so ungrateful.

01:07:41--> 01:07:49

Our mothers and fathers who labored, struggled, and who did and who sacrifice so much.

01:07:50--> 01:07:55

So that we could be happy, we could be nourished, we could be fed, we could be protected, sheltered, and

01:07:59--> 01:08:01

all those years.

01:08:04--> 01:08:11

And then when we were able to stand on our own feet, we then turn around and say, away with the

01:08:16--> 01:08:18

old age is second child.

01:08:19--> 01:08:25

So what being what Islam teaches us is that just as when we were needy when we were children,

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and they looked after as, as capable, strong adults, when they regress into the second childhood, and we grow into healthy, strong able adults, then we should look after them in their childhood, second childhood, just as they looked after us now first,

01:08:48--> 01:08:55

not dispatch them to a retirement home. I'm not saying it's haram if parents and family members agree and that's what the parents want.

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Then that's fine.

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But those who are shunted into retirement homes and shoved away and pushed out of their own homes, and compelled me to feel uncomfortable in their own homes, by their children, and their sons in law and their daughters in law than in NAT Illa, who a nightly rogering that's attached.

01:09:24--> 01:09:25

So traditionally,

01:09:26--> 01:09:30

people knew that they were dependent on others,

01:09:31--> 01:09:37

they treated despite their disagreements, sometimes, people would swallow their pride

01:09:38--> 01:09:44

tolerate some slight discomfort, because they saw the bigger picture even the selfish ones saw the bigger picture.

01:09:47--> 01:09:49

And that in itself prevented them from argument

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because they knew which side their

01:09:56--> 01:09:57

bread was buttered,

01:10:00--> 01:10:02

So may Allah make us amongst those who are

01:10:04--> 01:10:11

wise and enlightened enough to manage their disagreements and not to extend them to other things with the same people or to other people.

01:10:13--> 01:10:19

And may Allah protects us from being argumentative, quarrelsome and adversarial as

01:10:22--> 01:10:33

the description of the hypocrites in these verses of the Quran was Allahu wa salam ala had the he would assume it maybe in humid what are the the he was certainly huge Marines chronicle law should what Allah

01:10:35--> 01:10:36

as the physical world