Season 1 Ep 04

The Productive Muslim Podcast


Channel: The Productive Muslim Podcast

File Size: 31.28MB

Episode Notes

How to Overcome a Porn Addiction and Be Productive Again with Wael Ibrahim

Shaytan can overpower a single person easily but whenever we are in company, he is far away. Therefore avoid isolation, avoid being alone because that is the time when you can do that sin.

Joining us back on again is coach and expert, Br. Wael Ibrahim, to be interviewed by our host Mifrah Mahroof for the second and final part of this series dedicated to ending the pornography addiction.

In part one of this interview series we discussed the dangers of pornography including the forms it exists in, the effects it has on the mind and how big of a problem it is today.

Now in today’s interview, we discuss how to protect ourselves and others from falling into a pornography addiction along with tackling the big question
How do I get out if I am stuck? Finding the cure.

Questions Asked: How does a person find themselves in a pornography addiction? What are some behaviors, actions that take place before a person finds themselves with this addiction? With the abundance of lewd entertainment today and porn being just a click away, how can an individual protect themselves from it? It is said that having too much free time makes you more vulnerable to a porn addiction, how this is so? If it is common to find young people have a lot of free time then would you say that most of the addicted individuals who come to you for help are young people? What about family members, what role can they play in protecting their families from this? Moving on to the topic of cure now, how long does it take until a person is completely free from this addiction? What are some of the steps towards quitting?

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Season One, Episode Four Assalamualaikum. And welcome to the productive Muslim podcast, the weekly podcast where we help you live a productive lifestyle so that you can be successful in this life. And the year after

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Assalamu alaikum productive Muslims. Welcome to the podcast. I'm your host me for marriage. And this week I have for you an episode. That is a continuation of what we covered last week. So last week, we had on brother while Ibrahim to speak about the topic of pornography addiction. So in this podcast, we covered things such as what it is, how do people get trapped in this addiction and how to get out of it. So in this second part, we will be covering the how to get out of foot pot more and getting really deeper into it. So we'll be mentioning certain resources, tools that you can use books that you can read into. And all of this will be available on our show notes, which you can

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find at productive Muslim slash five. So that is the number five. So before I start, I just want to invite you all to listen to the first episode if you have not heard it before, so that way you can better follow on to today's episode. Although if you have not listened to last week's episode, then you can still listen to this one and then go back to that one again. Also, another thing that I wanted to mention is some of you have been writing into us asking about what is the RSS feed for this podcast so that they can be able to subscribe using their own podcast player. So pretty much if you want to find out the RSS feed for this podcast I've made for you a shortened

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link. So you can just go to productive Muslim slash RSS. So again, productive Wilson slash RSS. And then from there, you'll be redirected to the RSS link the entire link which you can put into your favorite podcast player and listen to the podcast. That being said, if that message about the RSS feed just went over your head and you had no idea what I was talking about, then that's alright, you can still be up to subscribe to our podcasts using iTunes, you can just head over to iTunes podcast area and search a productive Muslim. Or if you want a mobile app for other devices, then you can check out Stitcher Radio so you can find all these links on how to

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be able to subscribe to our podcast by just heading over to our main website, productive Muslim and there you'll be able to find out how to subscribe. Alright, so now that's out of the way let's start our episode.

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problem in your life. Is there a problem in your marriage? It doesn't have to be you can beat it. Join Bravo way Abraham prays new and exclusive beat equals head over to productive wisdom for more information

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Assalamualaikum waalaikumsalam Wa La Habra cattle, how are you? And how's everyone at your site? productive Muslim team?

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They're all well and we're all really excited to actually record the second part because after we released the first interview of the series, we've had some great feedback 1000s of downloads and many of audience are wondering, okay, when's the second pot coming out? I received a lot of emails and I wanted to also inform the listeners that everyone who's listening to the to these episodes and feels that it is the time to break free from pornography, don't ever feel ashamed to contact me inshallah everything will be confidential. And no one would know that you are suffering from this issue and I will deal with it professionally as I can charlo hamdulillah That's awesome. Okay, so I

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mean, we'll just get straight into the questions because I know that after we released that first interview, we'd had questions as well with regards to Okay, how do I get out of this? So I start off with by first question that I have here. And so I want to know how does a person find themselves within pornography addiction meaning

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what are some behaviors actions that take place before they find themselves stuck with addiction with this addiction?

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Okay, it is the concept of a little bit weird and wouldn't harm you know, this this one of the most dangerous behavior that a person fall into is that a little bit here and there wouldn't really harm me Yes, it's harm I know it's wrong, but you know, we are young and you're not mad it so I'm just going to have a little bit of it and inshallah later on, I will repent that that concept a little bit, after a little bit after a little bit, you will find yourself addicted and you can't actually get out of your

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you know, this state of addiction. So this is one of the things that we should really be worried about and that is we

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should always all the time lower our gaze. And some people when I talk to them and tell them lower your gaze, they don't like that advice. You know, my brothers and sisters I cannot find better than what Allah Subhana Allah mentioned in the analog lowering your gaze, I cannot find what better than what the prophet SAW allies advice the youth, everybody in this room, and that is to Lord or gaze almost panatela said, Follow me and I will do and beside him I follow follow john tell to the believing men and to the to the believing woman to lower the gaze. And as a result, their chastity in their private parts will be protected. So these are some of the behaviors and that is to have a

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little bit here and a little bit there.

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I think also that can lead to this addiction is the norm, what we call normal movies, normal TV, series sitcom, and so on and so forth. Because in our time, there is not a single movie, not a single TV series that has no sexual image. It is not nearly according to all the reviews and all this we like, you know, there's one of the books that are commented and written by Pamela Paul. It is called pornified, the she she's trying to tell the readers that actually we have been living in a pornified society, everything is evolving around nakedness, nudity, and sex, and so on so forth. If we don't protect our gaze from that little bit here and there, then we will find ourselves addicted.

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The third point that I wanted to mention, and that is the final stage, this is where the person will find themselves jailed within the, the cell of pornography and that is when you go to porn when they go to watch pornography films, and so on and so forth. Why they themselves don't want to they don't want to watch it, they find themselves without, you know, any power of their own going and watching porn. And that is an absolute sign of the addiction, in this case, advise them to immediately seek the help the necessary help control.

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Yeah, so it's pretty much the first one being, okay, they like in individual things. Okay, I'm just gonna do a little bit here a little bit there. And this is for entertainment today, pretty much. Yeah. And the third one being our person finds himself pulled to wanting to watch things like this. Yeah, like, I have been receiving a lot of emails from people who are addicted to pornography, who would say actually, that they are religious people that they are doing a lot of good charitable works, people look up to them, and so on and so forth. Yet, this is the only thing that makes them feel that they are hypocrites that they are not as good as they should be. So this is a dangerous

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sign of addiction that the person should control or seek help right away.

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Yeah, that's true. With regards to like, how porn is today and how accessible it is today, and it's just a click away. And now you mentioned how it's also within entertainment, and it's just everywhere. And the question is, how can individual protect themselves from it? Okay, there are a lot of points, like, you know, we cannot really cover everything in

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a small episode, but I will, I will give small tips that inshallah can help in a great way. And number one, avoid, avoid being alone. avoid being alone. This, this is an Islamic advice, you know, whenever you are alone, shaitan is with you. I think that was a saying by Omar hottub, that

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a single person, a single person shaitan can overpower him easily. But he's away far away from two persons three persons whenever we're in company a bit far away from us. So avoid isolation, avoid being alone, because that's the time where you can do that sin.

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You know, Allah subhanaw taala intended sexual intimacy to be between partners between a husband and a wife, of course, we are referring to the lawful intimacy right? Now husband and wife, it's not an individual thing. And so upon a lot because pornography is done in secret. That's what makes it wrong. That's what makes it you know, against the purpose of sexual

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enjoyment. It's against the norm that almost pantalla had created. So avoid isolation don't ever

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allow yourself to take your cell phones, your iPads, your your your laptops, any any device with internet connection, don't ever take it to your bedroom, leave it outside all these Prevention's right, they say prevention is better than cure. So all these things can prevent you from accessing these haraam elements. Yeah. Another thing very, very important and that is related to productivity and now is to and receive a good feedback from someone

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My clients who actually appreciated that tip, and that is to create a list of things that you love things that you really like doing things that you enjoy doing. So create that list Sit, sit, you know with yourself or with your group of friends and write down these things. One after the other one after the other. Now you have got a lot of options much a lot to choose from, then immediately work and participate in one of those, you know, I call them passions that it has to be something that you're passionate about. Participate in that volunteer for example, if you like volunteer work, volunteer in that act, if you like, sport, enroll yourself in any of the nearby clubs that can you

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make yourself busy, keep yourself busy with something else that you like something healthy, that you can, you know, inshallah achieve success in it and that can eliminate any sort of addiction that you might fall into another.

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Another also thing, which is psychologically,

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very helpful as well is to develop within yourself, the what what scholars actually have that field, we'll call it zero tolerance for pornography. And islamically. I would say like, we have to treat it like alcohol, you know, when how the prophet SAW a lot of sunset safety rules colleagues around the process and said anything that intoxicates in great quantity, even a little bit often is home. Yeah. So then my brothers and sisters treat pornography in the same way how you treat alcohol, how you treat that evil, which the prophet SAW something called the mother of all evil, the mother of all, I would say that one of the greatest evils after alcohol, of course, because you cannot add over the

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words of the prophet SAW Selim with one of the greatest evils after alcohol is pornography today. So develop that no zero tolerance for it. And that psychologically can help you inshallah, whenever you remember, whenever these flashbacks comes, in your mind, you can divert your, your attention somewhere somewhere else, and how to the attention somewhere else by creating this list that we have

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mentioned earlier? Yeah. How you were mentioning about prevention and how you were saying about, okay, a person shouldn't spend time alone too much, or like keep themselves busy. It just sounds like a person is more vulnerable to these addictions, when they have too much free time. Would you say that? Exactly. That's, that's fine. The profits are seldom said, but two phases are two blessings, that

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health and free time. So when you're healthy, you tend to forget about Allah subhanaw taala, you want to run around and show off your you know, health and show how fit, you are unsure how beautiful you are in that outfit, and so on. So for when you're healthier, wasting time, most of the people, we don't care of our health at young age, and free time, when we have free time, we tend to do anything but you know, for productive work. That's why we have to seize the opportunity when you are young. And when you when you're young and healthy. And when you have free time when you have free time. Fill that time with something beneficial. Yeah, fill it ever sit, just sit and look at the

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ceiling and wondering what to want to know. You have to have to have a list of doing, you know, items that you love items that you really care about. I wanted to do something. Again, I don't like talking about myself, but this is for the benefit of those who are listening. I when I was young, I actually hated reading. Reading. I didn't like reading and

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really says that no, no, I hate x. Like you know, I have a friend of mine also. Oh heytex Logan, I'm not gonna mention his name. So whenever I feel like vomiting, you know, sorry about using that word,

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buddy Peter, but you know, see how heavy it was. So I remember that I am big fan of, you know, soccer game. And in Egypt, there was that big team I used to support and they have this magazine that comes every Thursday I remember. And I used to purchase this the first one. I believe I'm the first fan purchasing this in the early morning, but I didn't read it. I read only the big, you know,

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captions and so and that's it, but I never go into the details. Yeah, sister today. I have developed that habit of reading a book every single day and reading and I don't believe

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I don't believe it. And if I don't read the complete book, at least I will go through the through the most important chapters to me. And if I cannot even go to that details, I have downloaded certain apps, maybe if some people wanted to know these apps

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an app called blinkist. There's an app called,

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just let me check quickly, there's another app I'm using for reading books, get apps checked, these books give you a summary of these apps gives you summaries of books. So if you don't have time to read an entire book, or 150 pages, 200 pages and more, at least develop this habit. So don't have

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free time, you know,

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you know, lead you to send leads to something that is, you know, unpleasant or last parameter. Yeah. And on that note of free time, young people generally have more free time, because it's just they have less responsibilities. And so they can have that time in which they can be able to sit down and play with their devices and be more like, easily fall into this. And my theory is Right, right. Now, would you say that a lot of the people come to you for help are young people that fall into this majority majority

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high school age like 15 1618, that kind of agent, many people, the majority actually, according to statistics, the majority of people who are addicted and involved into the in these activities are very young, they are people that don't really utilize that time now, then they will, they will lose a lot of things in the future. They you know, the Malcolm X, I believe he said, futures belong to those who prepare for it today. So if you don't prepare, what you want to be in 10 years from now, 15 years from now, 20 years from now, how you wanted to contribute to the community,

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then you're going to do nothing, you're going to just live and die like millions of others who never contributed anything to themselves to the family members, to the society to the religion, and we Muslims we should live for that we should live for to contribute to that Deen to contribute to the people of that day. And if we wasted our time just watching this film, then nothing is going to be achieved. Yeah, so what about in the role of protection? Like protecting IE individuals from pornography addiction? what role can family members play? Because say if a family member knew someone that was addicted to pornography, but that person didn't really care about it that much, but

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or they just want to protect his family who haven't been yet? Okay. One of them very important thing is for the family members, parents is to get well acquainted with modern technology, they have to know how the laptop is being operated smartphones, how they're operated, because many times you see parents, they're not even interested to hold these cell phones and, and these devices, and therefore, their children are much more aware of what's happening in our time. And so when they access these things, depends thinking that they're making the assignments, they're just having games or something like that. So number one, we have to know what is happening. In today's time we have to

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know about the internet, just to be well acquainted. Secondly, we have to talk we have to educate ourselves as parents about this industry. Like you know, I'm talking to you now and behind me over 70 books just talking about that subject. Other than our you know, papers, research papers and, and articles, hundreds of them. If we don't know what is happening, how can we offer any solution right? How can we offer any protection and these books and these minds who spend years researching this topic they have offered a lot of tips so we don't have to just sit and wonder what to do. Actually the tips are there on bookshelves just Muslims need to read. This is very important to educate

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yourself. established this something very important in within one's house, you have to establish a policy, you have to establish a policy of no internet after 8pm For example, 8pm is family time, dinner time and all of us we should sit together and talk about what happened throughout the day and discuss matters that is maybe confusing the kids. There are many kids amongst the oma today who don't believe in God at all the eighth year. We have to discuss these on the dining table. You know we have missed this memory I was talking to one of my colleagues today I don't I miss you know eating with my family members on this palette, you know, we have a round palette at home like a

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dining table but on ground we used to sit together and that was like our only time for us no one you know is allowed not to eat during that time. You're missing that environment. Everybody even on the dining table today is busy with his device. So for me to establish a policy rules. You know, I you know, I moved to a certain country as you know, and in my new house

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I have

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prepared, my family is coming to join me soon. So I'm preparing a corner in that house with a big poster that says what? devices parking lot? Oh devices parking lot.

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Yeah, you hear us establish these kind of policy and you click on at the same time and while drawing is something that everyone would be required to park his device after 8pm 8pm is our family time you go out together, no phone calls anymore. People live without phones at certain time. And they were happier.

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Yes, yeah. I mean, why shouldn't we experience this for a few hours a day that no devices, no phone calls, nothing, no text messages. And guess what, when you go back, the next morning, the device will be there, text will be there, everything will be the same, nothing's going to change, the sky will remain blue. So we have to

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give up some of these things that actually the tools that we're using to get to liabilities.

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And lastly, which is also very important is and that is related to the point of education is to install some of the filters. There are a lot of software that were developed to fight pornography addiction and pornography in general. And these filters should be installed on every single device in the house. And if any boy or girl tried to access these nice device based websites, it will be blocked automatically through the software.

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Also, that can actually send a report to parents like what my son is doing on his laptop or device. So get this there is one which is very popular, popular software. And I believe that it has improved in a great way. It's called k nine, letter K. And number nine, you can search it on, it's free, install it. And normally it requires more than one member to, to subscribe for, for one account, like two members or three members for one account. Why? Because if any of the children try to access pornography, then a report will be sent to parents, for example, if they are part of the subscription, so these these are some of the things that can really protect the family from

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pornography. And it really makes sense that these are protection. And these measures are taken place in eating in order to protect the family because like say if it's like a very cold day outside, I mean, we protect ourselves by wearing the adequate, you know, clothing to keep ourselves from the cold. And in the same way, it's just as important to protect ourselves in when we let our children or teenagers just get on the internet because some elderly and everyone like they don't quite understand how risky the internet can be. It is very beneficial. But at the same time there's a like a back alley. Absolutely, absolutely. Like how we get beneficial information. Sometimes we read or

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act on it, we watch a beautiful video of a good reminder and so on so forth in the same tool we can use for harmful things. So that's why I said we have to get well acquainted.

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Yeah, yeah, we cannot prevent it, we cannot I cannot tell our children, no devices, these are danger, they will go and seek these devices

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used to them outside in the schools and so on, so forth. So we have to be very practical, these devices are very, very beneficial, they are suitable for that age and time. However, we have to protect ourselves from the harm that can cause that's true. So now moving on to the topic of q&a, like if a person is addicted, like how long does it take for them to become completely free of this addiction? There is no there is no specific time for for everyone. And I could say that, you know, this addiction is built like one day after the other one week after the other one month after the other.

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Like, you know, most of the emails that I'm receiving, at least a person will say that I've been addicted for three years, that's the least that's the least no one would would email me telling me that I've been watching for three months, and I wanted to quit. So the minimum is there are some people who tell me that I've been addicted for 17 years for 15 years for years. And those people who are addicted, and I've been watching these things for that, you know, a number of years, we cannot just tell them that inshallah in a matter of a week or two you will, you will be good to go.

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I want to make that clear to our readers, to our listeners, or to make it absolutely clear that quitting porn is not easy. Quitting porn requires real, real people who will really sacrifice a lot of things to delight

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In order for them to be pure and clean, so you have to be serious about it. So I cannot really specify an actual time for quitting porn, I could say that if you stop watching for a year, a year and a half, then you can say Congratulation, you are on the path of recovery, your recovery, we cannot say that you are absolutely clean, if you are absolutely good to go on your own, you have to maintain the same strategy Do you have used since the time you quit porn, you have to maintain that lifestyle. I don't remember if I give that example during the last episode, but I would say that if I lost weight, if or if I'm planning to lose weight, and if I started eating the right food, doing

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the right exercises, and after a month or two, I lost like 15 pounds or, or maybe 15 kg or something like then I cannot I cannot after after this one month or two, go back to the the junk food that I used to eat No, I have to maintain a healthy food and healthy lifestyle so that I can maintain that weight or I can maintain that shape. The same thing applies to pornography, if you quit, if you lower your gaze, go all the way until you meet your Lord with that strategy. But timeframe cannot be really

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granted to every single individual. Yeah, that's true. And so I really like that example that you gave about a person losing weight and using this as an example for quitting. And it's the first time I'm hearing it myself. Because when I think about that example, it reminds me that okay, is some people have to lose more weight than others. And that will take longer in the same way a person can be addicted to porn for many, many years, and that person will take longer towards quitting. And in the same example that you gave us losing weight, it's not going to be an easy task, there's going to be a lot of sacrifices, you have to sacrifice the things that you love. And in this case, your

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electronic devices and just the things have to change in your life. And it's going to be uncomfortable, like the same way you have to do when you want to lose weight. Yes, and I mentioned on the blog of productive Muslim in one of the articles. So just to let the listeners know, those who didn't read the articles that we have also two part articles actually, like an interview type of an article that we met mean that there will be some kind of withdrawal symptoms like you know, the person will quit for a month for 2443 they will start experiencing some mood swings, some anxiety type of thing, you know, a little bit of sad mood, and so on, so forth. So these things you have to

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you have to understand it's not going to be easy to quit, it's not like you know, you're going to experience happiness right away after you quit. No, you're going to go through that struggle. And then insha Allah, the path of happiness, the path of you know, recovery is going to be later on so just be patient for a couple of months, six to eight months. I'm telling those people who are addicted, you will go through these phases for six to eight months at least. Yeah, before completely happy and satisfied. Yeah. Yeah, it's good that we're being very practical with how long it would take and it's not it's not going to be an easy journey but it's one that's worthwhile and worth it.

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Yes, it's the path to gender itself it's not easy Yeah, that's true path

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is not easy. You have to you have to struggle and this is part of our you know journey in life, perhaps even NASA you truck or in your corner and then now who lives alone, do people think that they will be left you know, on their saying we believe without being tested? No, Allah is going to test us Allah is going to put us into trials so that he can differentiate between those who are truthful true believers and those who are hypocrites and liars. So we asked Allah subhanaw taala to purify our inshallah hearts and minds and hamdulillah we are about to depart in Oman is about to be part so seize the opportunity of these last few days we are Lost Planet Allah allow us to observe

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Laila to

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seize that big aloha again, if we are talking about the cure and how, how to get this out of our behavior. It allows call upon Law Day and ask Allah Subhana Allah to cure you. And Allah, Allah is Able to do all things and Shall

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we do that's the steps towards quitting. If you were to just mention top three, what would they be? Just three things? top three. Okay. Yes, I know there's a lot but yeah, just yeah, there are a lot of

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old curing tips. Also, what works for others, what works for some may not work for others. So we have to understand this but there are some essential things that we have to all of us. All people who are into this have to take care of number one and that is one of the most important things

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To tell someone else about your addiction, you will never be able to win the battle of pornography addiction on your own. This is an established fact, you cannot do it.

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Exactly like we gave an example of people who are addicted to drugs like cocaine and heroin and all that they cannot get free from the addiction on their own, they have to go to a rehabilitation center. And they even sometimes they will handcuff them, because they, they react to these drugs in a violent way sometimes, so you cannot get rid of addiction of this addiction on your own. You have to tell someone, and someone who you trust someone really trusted friend, someone who will not take your secret and you know, publish it on Facebook, for example, you have to do the one who's responsible, someone who may be professional coach, and so on. so forth. Number two, number two,

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create what one of the authors of the books that I have here, that one of the best books that I would recommend inshallah, at the end, I will tell you that the titles later, but he mentioned that create a porn free environment. So lets us do that is that is like you know, stay away from anything that may lead to relapse, stay away. Like we said earlier, stay away from movies and music videos and mingling with the opposite sex without any necessity and all these things, this can help you a lot, because pornography and even within your room, change the environment in your room. Because normally addiction is also linked to our environment. So for example, if you remember the inundation

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of the prophet SAW Selim, where he met, it was a man who killed 99 persons. And we know the entire story without repeating it again, and again, everybody I remember, I believe that they have heard that narration of the 99 person and advice that was given by this caller after he killed the sheriff. So we made them 100, the advice that was given by that caller is what leave that town changing.

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And as a result, he was admitted to Germany, and he made the effort to change the environment. So this is one of the most powerful thing that can cause a change in your life, change your environment, and automatically your habits will change. And those who cannot leave the country cannot leave their houses, at least make a change within your own room, spray nice fragrance, maybe change the color of the walls or change positions of the bed, and so on and so forth. And that could create an impact on you positively charlo and number three, take care of your physical,

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you know, body and health in a way that you know, whenever you have this urge, this is one of the things maybe we'll discuss in a while. Whenever you have that urge, go for physical exercises, if you like it, if you don't like it, maybe go for a little walk. So So number one, we said tell someone number two is create a free porn free environment. And number three, take care of your physical appearance. You know, eat healthy exercise, if you like exercise, if you don't like exercise, at least eat that which is healthy that can keep you fit. Because the more you are healthy, the more you know, your brain is also alert to what is harmful and what is not. Yeah, yeah,

00:33:22--> 00:33:31

I really like like that. So it's um, tell tell someone about addiction, change your environment and take care of your physical body to top three tips that comes to mind towards

00:33:32--> 00:33:47

some of the most important points. Yeah. Okay, so now we're getting close to the end of the interview. And I know that throughout the interview, you mentioned some resources, like including a book and you also mentioned about the filter and different things. So I just want

00:33:49--> 00:34:01

to ask you, like, can you please tell us more resources and things that our listeners can get access to that can help towards you know, quitting this addiction and getting it out of our lives? Okay.

00:34:02--> 00:34:27

By the way, before you start mentioning it, I just want to let everyone listening to this that you don't have to take note of these ones because everything, I'll be adding it into the blog blog post, which would be on our website at productive so you can find all the resources mentioned here, including the previous article that we had earlier on the website so you can access that through our website. Okay. Yeah.

00:34:28--> 00:34:59

We wanted to make it very clear that the best indication is the dean education Islamic education. Before recommending any of these books. I wanted to advise my brothers and sisters to start getting serious about learning the deen learning the religion of Islam, learning from the scholars, so obtain the necessary books listen to you know well established lectures by by scholars of the dean get education about the Linda more your your knowledge grow in the dean, the more your faith is also increased.

00:35:00--> 00:35:18

Hear the resistance within you will increases while your willpower will be more, more stronger. So here are eight I think I'm going to recommend eight books that are actually very, for anyone who is either addicted to porn or someone who wanted to help others to,

00:35:19--> 00:36:06

to to break free from this habit, two of them are related to things or on habit itself. One is called The Power of Now, the power of now a guide to spiritual enlightenment. And that is the author is called Eckhart Tolle, he or a heart All this is one of the best selling books, over 5 million copies they say have been sold and something something that helps you to get things done right away. Without procrastinating, you know, the second book of mine, I'm gonna recommend is called The Power of Habit. Why do we do what we do and how to change? And this is related to changing the cycle of our routine? How can we really do something differently? And this is related to pornography because

00:36:07--> 00:36:07

it becomes

00:36:09--> 00:36:53

an addictive habit? Yeah. So this is absolutely we give you the science behind how can we create a change in our lives. The remaining books are particularly written regarding pornography, and that is one of them is called the drug of the new millennium, the brain science behind internet pornography, use written by Mark B. Castleman man, and he's discussing three power, powerful principles. And he's calling it as a guarantee to protect your family. So this is, can be used by addicts themselves, and also by the family members. And it includes the copy that I purchased, it includes a DVD set even to

00:36:54--> 00:37:39

guide you through the whole process of that program. Yep. A book written by Pamela Paul. It's called pornified. How pornography is damaging our lives our relationship, and our family. And this is a factual books. This one of the factual books that discuss some of the danger of pornography and the consequences that it may lead to another book. It's called the truth behind the fantasy of porn. And this is written by ex porn star. Her name is Shelley Lubben. That's the author. And she's also discussing the secrets of the industry of pornography and how she broke free from this environment. And the more you read her book about because she was in the industry, the more you read her book,

00:37:40--> 00:37:47

the more you feel custom about this industry. And that is what I wanted actually the people to feel it. When you feel

00:37:48--> 00:38:04

with these industry, how could you watch them again, so Shelly Logan law, she became a Christian and she relates her change to her faith, we respect that. But it's, I can see that it can also create an impact on the Muslims as well.

00:38:05--> 00:38:36

There is also a book by Philip J. Floris. And it is called addiction as an attachment disorder. So this book is discussing also the science behind addictions and it's called, you know, he's calling it attachment disorder. It's a brain disease and brain disorder, while either below May Allah save us all. Another very useful book I found. It's called 45. And 45 is also an entire program that is being developed

00:38:37--> 00:39:14

over the time, and this is written by a group of dedicated people and we have a website on the internet called fight the new drug. So they don't have an offer for it. They just sit in the author written by fight the new drug because they have a very popular website, discussing the danger of pornography and how to break free from it. And lastly, I want to recommend one of the best books that I've read on this subject and that is the porn trap. The porn trap the Essential Guide to overcoming problems caused by pornography by Wendy Myles and Laurie Mel's

00:39:15--> 00:39:29

very interesting book very scientific and also includes a lot of tips on how to break free and that is a must for everyone who's addicted to porn. And lastly, may Allah subhanaw taala save us all.

00:39:31--> 00:39:36

Mean while so so that so that's a really good list of resources that a person can

00:39:38--> 00:39:51

access to read more about this in addition, and inshallah we have to help them and help also family members and others friends who know, individuals who are addicted to porn. Okay, so

00:39:52--> 00:40:00

I wanted an announcement as well that anyone who's suffering from this issue and really seriously want it

00:40:00--> 00:40:44

To break free, I also wanted them to contact me, if not for asking for help, at least for supporting my goals for working with me as a volunteer. And people may wonder can an addict work as an volunteer for others to break free? Yes, this is one of the cure. In fact, when you see people getting, you know, clean from from the addictions even though you're addicted yourself, it can leave an impact on you and maybe in the long run inshallah you'd be clean as well. So if you wish to contact me to be part of the warranting teams that I'm creating everywhere I go regarding this, I'm training them and telling them the science behind this addiction and how can they treat others?

00:40:45--> 00:41:10

Giving them a course on coaching each online all this is done and handler for free? And yes, so get get in touch inshallah. That's actually That actually sounds really good. Which is related to my final question that I wanted to ask was, how can our audience connect to you on a connect with you online? Okay, number one, you have to after I recommended so many books, I wanted to recommend my own book as well. Yes.

00:41:12--> 00:41:49

So my book change, it was written actually for those who are addicted. And it is not a book that I claim to be the ultimate book for pornography addiction. Rather, it's one of the Islamic guidelines on giving you some motivations to stay away from porn, it has 30 codes, 30 decisions 30 entries. So inshallah get that book if you can, if you cannot just email me chocolate me, I cannot afford it. I will be sending you for free. I don't mind the challah. How to get in touch with me via email will be the best and my email

00:41:50--> 00:41:57

is well dot Abraham 09 at This is the email that I you know, I checked myself.

00:41:58--> 00:42:13

Excellent. Thank you so much. So that concludes the end of today's interview and the end of the this two part series. I just want to say hi and once again for coming on. Is there anything else you want to say that you didn't get to mention earlier?

00:42:15--> 00:43:07

Nothing much other than I wanted to remind those people who are addicted that we we as as elder generation now I consider myself getting into that elder generation. I give I give the this last advice to the youth that actually our hope is you. That through you. The Muslim situation will change through you. You can you can do a lot for that Deen for Islam. And we are 100% sure that you cannot do anything if you are addicted to porn or addicted to anything that that is displeasing, colosse pantile and order for Islam to go back to the days of ISIS and might and dignity, dignity, we need you we need those young generation. And if you're stuck in that painful sin, then there is

00:43:07--> 00:43:30

no hope for this woman to be revived. So May Allah subhanaw taala grant you the ability to make a change of positive change that will impact the entire oma Amina I mean that's, that's really profound. It's this porn addiction is actually preventing pretty much allowing the world to benefit from their potential and change that they can bring about. That's really

00:43:33--> 00:43:44

just accola Hi once again for coming on. We really appreciate it what you're consistently our last pantalla reward you and the entire team of productive Muslim for giving me this opportunity. And I apologize that

00:43:45--> 00:44:25

maybe my voice is a little bit weak because I've been in pain. And I asked everyone to make the half for me desert island and thank you so much once again for having me. All right, so that wraps up today's interview, I pray that you have benefited from this. And if you are trying to keep track of all the notes and all the resources that was mentioned in this episode, don't worry about it, you can be able to head over to our website productive Muslim slash number five to find the show notes for this particular episode. Also, if you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review for us on iTunes or Stitcher Radio. So you can do so by heading over to productive Muslim

00:44:25--> 00:44:59 slash iTunes and you'll be taken to the iTunes link. And if you're also on Stitcher Radio, then you can do so by productive Muslim slash Stitcher. Now the reason why reviews are important is that it helps us reach and benefit more people. So you know episodes like this. If you have found it beneficial, then there are more people in your position who will also be seeking things out like this and can benefit from it. So I really hope you can help spread the word about this. So that's about it for me. I hope to see you again.

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Next week in sha Allah on Friday for our next episode, thank you all for listening. Until next time, be sincere and work hard.