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Young And Proud Lecture

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Omar Suleiman

Channel: Omar Suleiman

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Whatever it is.

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I don't know

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if anybody hear me,

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anybody, Can anybody hear me?

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Again, just to repeat, if I could have top students, young professionals and high schools in the front and center,

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young professionals being under the age of 30, after 34 years

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35 if not category,

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learning something.

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What are our

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partners quantity was interesting.

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Over the last three Fridays, what we've talked about basically, we started off, I don't know how,

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what am I talking about this week,

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the week before last week, three weeks ago,

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we could figure it out.

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Before the end, is for the

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only

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environment.

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One was absol. So

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whenever the sister passed away, that we had gone, you know, making use of your time all as much as your free time as you can, and there was a link last week.

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That was part of making use of your time.

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Be more specific.

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The piece hasn't been trained, you know, transferred from the lender, sorry, can transfer time.

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Last week, last week, so three weeks ago, or two weeks ago, we spoke about

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the concept of putting people around you that will give you advice, looking for advice, looking for people to correct you're looking for people to help you looking for advice from your you know, looking for friends that are going to give advice, setting an environment where you're seeking advice, trying to get corrected from your elders trying to correct it from those who are younger than me, essentially the concept of trying to surround yourself with people that will give you advice in terms of being receptive to that advice. And lastly, we talked about what

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about anger?

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How to control your anger, right? The importance of controlling your temper, not allowing your anger to take over most of the things that we talked about today. You got to

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forgive when you get angry and

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be able to show mercy, compassion, forgiveness at the time of anger, right being able to show forgiveness when you're angry and being able to show mercy when you're angry, seeking the pleasure of a loss.

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How to Allah and show mercy to people after the very moment that you're angry, so that you can seek the mercy of the losses? Can

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we take those three things together? And it's all the time. That's really what I want to talk about tonight? Because what is the biggest factor that stops the person? This isn't? This isn't the thing that's guilty in all three of these situations, there's a connecting factor. What would stop a person from receiving advice, what will stop the probable cause the person to get angry and get offended easily, and what will cause the person to not be willing to forgive? There is one factor that it really boils down to this

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arrogance, ego is pretty good.

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ego, think about a person who has a really, really big ego doesn't want people to correct him, he doesn't want people to give him advice. A person who has a really big ego, you know, who's got who has a lot of the Bible does not like people telling him what to do, who does not like people advises him, then at the same time, when people do advise that are going to try to correct them in general, what does it usually cost? What does it use? When usually happens as a result, he gets angry, right? Then when he gets angry, he starts to see these frequencies of need. And he talks about how awesome he is and stuff like that for a day or two or three days, and how that person doesn't have the right

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to talk to me that way. And that to me, because I'm this is not that he's This is nice that he can he is there your ego, again, he doesn't want to forgive, right, he won't let it go. Because he thinks he's so he sees himself in such a manner, that he's not able to tolerate someone stepping on his toes, who does this person think he is? Right, you know, for talking to me that way, you know, I'm not going to let that go. Because I'm this and he's that, right? ego is using and all of these things. Now, the problem with that I'm not accusing you guys of anything. But this is ego is one of those things that is that that manifests itself at different times of your life in different ways.

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Right. Now, the time that we will be the most egotistical is that that college age, the young professional age only

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using it if you have an ego, to say, I'm saying that's the time when you're susceptible to that's the time when you really are on your nerves all the time, and you don't want people to talk to you in a certain way, when you feel like everyone's being degraded towards you. If someone tries to give you some advice as a grown man, Who does he think he is? Right? If someone you know, that's when you really have that issue, that's when things really get on your nerves. And that's usually when your temper is really, really, really bad, especially if you are beaten enough as a child, okay?

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You are being as a child, and you're probably going to be

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not advocating abusing your children, but you can pop them on the wrist every once in a while, keep them humble

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for the parents, but if you weren't abused as a child,

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I'm sorry, if you weren't disappointed as a child, then usually at this age, that ego really comes forward that doesn't even really see those signs. You know, because of the lack of discipline, that's when a person just blows up on it on everything. All right. And then again, you don't want to let anything go. Right. And then when you get older, your ego becomes manifest in a different way. You know, when someone tries to when someone does something that's different from you, or when someone corrects you. He's just a kid, you know, I've been around for 40 years longer than he has, I saw his diapers get changed all that stuff could be sort of, you know, like, Who does he think he

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is? You know, I, you know, I gave birth to Who do you think you are to try to tell me about how to be a better Muslim and those types of things. That's when ego manifests itself in a different form. And of course, people get, you know, more testy under age, also, the older they get and those types of things. The point is, is that ego is ego is the main factor. And ironically, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he said, and this is something that's really hard for people to digest. A lot of times people ask me, you know, this question like, Is this real? How can there be such a thing? You know, that no person will enter general with an albums worth of pride in his heart. Not even an

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atom's work with pride in his heart. Why? Because pride will stop you from accepting advice. It will stop you from surrounding people, surrounding yourself with people who will give you advice, it will make you less receptive to advice, you'll get angry very quickly because of your pride. And then you will degrade the person that you've had a dispute with, and you refuse to forgive that person because of that pride. All of that comes from pride. Now that all said the ultimate you know, the peak of pride is what what is killing me in this in this city? What are the problems in this country, and you will remember that two things, only you

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it's not always me.

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hearing these

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two things.

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All right, one of them is when you're so full of ply that you won't even accept something from the last

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person. Right? Someone corrects you according to the Quran assuming someone says, Look, you're doing something wrong. You say, No, I'm not doing anything wrong, don't judge me, bla bla bla bla bla, what's your proof? Oh, it says getting the grinder says this Friday, and I'm not going to go, I'm not gonna worry about that I'm not going to accept that. That's the ultimate manifestation of privacy, when you're not even willing to accept something

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from a loss of data, or even your Creator is not good enough for you, when even your Creator has to logically convince you as to things the second one does anyone remember, often asked when you start to look down on people. Now, here's the thing, looking down on people, here's how we usually define it a very naive manner. When we think of looking down on people, it's, you know, I'm wearing a brand new pair of Jordans or whatever it is, you know, 100 grand into their shoes, that guy's wearing sandals from the Middle East look like they cost $5 I'm better than him. Right? That's not what this is talking about.

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What you think you're better than somebody, when you when you think you're better than somebody. And you know, what falls into that category. The first people that usually fall into it Are your parents. Because at one point in your life, you really think you're better than your parents, you really think you've got a better understanding, and you really think you know better you really think that they're just in

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your life when they're not actually insane.

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Right, they're still 50 years old. That's one part of your life that comes into this, you know, the center point, when you think about when you hover, you can see the religious side Americans, Muslim, the

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Muslim,

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you know, who is that guy think he is that guy has a girlfriend, I'm a better person than him who does that sister thinks he or she doesn't work a job better than her, you might be practicing something that she should be practicing, you might be doing something that he should be doing. Or you might be not doing something that he is doing. But at the same time, the last time was Allah has never given you the right to say to yourself that you're a better Muslim, and

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that you're better than that person. That's when it gets really, really, really, really bad. Now, here's the thing, identifying the prime, identifying the ego, and getting rid of it has a lot of practical steps that the product has taught us that we find in the books of testing and how to purify ourselves how to get rid of that stuff. Because that stuff can kill you. spiritual pride can kill you spiritually, because you will never acknowledge your mistakes. You'll say things to people that you will regret for the rest of your life. And you might have lost time or data as a disbeliever, because you rejected something from the poor. And the sooner because you thought you

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knew better. You put yourself above even sooner. Now in our situation. Here's the problem. And I want to take all the last things all three last little ghosts bubble up, and specifically how we can act upon this as the number one, being able to control your time, humbling yourself, no matter not all that seriously. You're not all that I'm not all that. If someone comes to you and tries to help you, if someone comes to you and correct you, if someone crosses you don't take that as something that you know that she's angry, don't take that as something that should you know that will serve your ego, use them use them, even if they're insulting, even if they're rude even if they're

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offensive. Let me tell you why. Sometimes you're gonna walk into the message, you might be dressed in a certain way, and some uncle's gonna call you out on them. And they might do it in a very honest manner. So I'm not justifying what they're doing, they have to face a loss. And you've got to, you've got to face a lot of fans out there.

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And sometimes what we do, you're not going to listen to one build for that person. Because of the way that he said, he's

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better than me. He thinks my parents raised me right. But he told you to do something that was right at the end of the day, he told you to do something that you shouldn't be doing where he caught learning tracks isn't the right song about you, trying to take the benefit from what he said to you. Yeah, he's wrong. Yes, the way he said it was wrong, he shouldn't have approached you about it. But trying to find the benefit of not trying to find the advantage of not trying to find out what's in there, that might be true. Extremely important, because there is something about there's a reason why it was sent to you and it wasn't sent to somebody else. And if it's something from a parameter

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system, don't let your ego stop you from accepting that. The other thing again, it's one thing to surround yourself with people who will give you advice and people that will try to correct to whatever your friend calls you out talking about your friends now when your friend calls you out and he calls you out on a rough manner. And again,

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type of people that you want to have around you the type of relationship that you want to have. This is what I said two weeks ago, no budget and all of that, where one of them messes up and I don't want to mess up. Although I can grasp it later on, I mean, revenue

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goes down and tells them to watch this stuff. Because they trusted each other. They understood that each one was watched the other person's back, they understood that they weren't just leaving each other to Telfair for the sake of you know, winning a popularity contest for the sake of getting along with everybody. They want to see each other in facts. And they understood that. So whenever your friend comes to you to correct you, when someone calls you out on your sin, trying to recognize the intentions of that person trying to see good and what that person is trying to do, trying to see some benefit from that. And then the third thing, and this is where it really comes down to your

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parents, your parents. Now, let me use the scenario.

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If right now, my baby lady was downstairs, and she wanted a piece of wood, and I only want to say the word I'm gonna say that she wanted a piece. Because if I say no, start screaming for it, right? And if she wanted a piece of that, and I said no. And I put it in my pocket. And I said no, when she started throwing a tantrum.

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What is everyone in here going to think? Is everyone is anyone going to actually take a seat? Right? No, she's cute. But if she right, or microwaving?

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Who's right? Okay, she doesn't understand you. You can point to me, at least you don't want to get around your boss, who's right and who's wrong in this situation.

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She was wrong. I was trying to watch out. But I can't sit her down and explain to her what candy does to her to explain to her that sugar is not good for her because it might keep her awake at night. I can't do that. Right, she doesn't get that yet. Meaning She still hasn't reached a level of maturity, baby still haven't reached a level of maturity, children still have an army level maturity, she gets a little bit older, whenever a child gets a little bit older, they're at celebration station was supposed to have Chucky cheese, or they're out somewhere, you know, parents come and say it's time to go home and they start throwing their tantrum. And this place is Moscow's

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in two minutes. Anyway, he didn't stay there for four hours, who's right and who's wrong, the parents were spending the money trying to get your kid or the kid for crying and throwing a tantrum, and going off with their parents and not letting them stay until the time you know, until closing time

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the parents were writing. But that kid still hasn't reached a level of maturity where they can understand.

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Now, let me tell you why a lot of us are still at that same level of maturity 98 to 20 years old. Here's the reason why. Because the candy narrows the car. Canada is not letting you leave your house, you know, to go on at this time of the night. It's not letting you do what you want to do at this time. It's not you know, it's calling you out on this certain action that you're doing. The only thing is you're not talking about, you know, skills anymore. You're talking about something much bigger, but the concept is still there. Your parents still want what's best for you. They're still doing things, they're still restraining you. And let me tell you something, the greatest

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failure my dad ever did, was beating the trash across the country like, seriously, because I understood later on in life, he really did that because he loved me. He really did that. Because he loved me, there was a reason for that. Sometimes I think a lot of people think this topic, my dad is stricter than other people's data. How come this kid has to get spoiled, right? And do what he wants given in college? Right? Cuz trust me, some people in college how to bind to the 10 year old, you know, come from this kid does whatever he wants, but I don't get any of that. How can I go through the struggle, you really appreciate that once you reach the material, just like the kid understands

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that whenever they're not bumped into fire because of the candy.

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You know, thanks for holding that away from me. You start to get these things later on in life. The problem is, is that some people take a really, really, really long time to understand who really cares for them and who really loves them. So instead of looking for those people who love them, instead of looking for those people, instead of receiving that advice, instead of taking these, you know, with the appropriate response, you're going to surround yourself with people that accept you as a failure. And all you want is Slattery all the people who tell you that you're doing the right thing. All you want is passive friends is a product called me Dunham's who wanted the agenda will be

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guilty of the same crime as the one who committed the sin. Those people will be in the same level of health are not correcting passes, just letting everything go. I'm not gonna say anything to you. But that's what we want. We want people to make us feel good. We want flattery around us all the time, all the time. But now let's go to another category. This is where this is what

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was this photo about showing the passion versus when the other person is right or when the other person is wrong?

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When the other person is wrong, okay? Now parents, you can close your ears right now, please, parents, you should not even close your ears. Sometimes your parents are wrong.

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Sometimes your parents really did not make the right calls. Okay. And sometimes they really say things that you know what, maybe they're not right. Maybe it's maybe it's true. It's not the norm By the way, the norm is that you're wrong, and you're not understanding like it because you're young, you haven't gotten every once in a while though. And I have to be diplomatic and politically correct. Every once in a while, the parents will make a mistake. people that love you and people that care about you, they're going to advise you the wrong way, they're going to be too harsh to the point where they're going to say something they shouldn't have said, they're going to personally

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offend you don't do away with all of their good, and all of their intentions. And in all of the times that you were wrong, because they messed up that one time. That's so important to understand. You know, maybe right now you don't face that as much. But whenever you can, especially whenever you start getting into, you know, your professional careers and things of that sort matters as marriage, guys, family, these types of things, sometimes your parents are really going to say things that are going to upset you. And they might actually be wrong, because a lot

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of infallible love did not make you infallible 99% of the time, you're wrong 1% of the time, they're wrong. Sometimes you're gonna have your older brother, you're gonna have that friend who cares about you want to come to call you Mom, don't do away with all of the good, because he made you upset that time because he did something wrong. Maybe he didn't do something wrong. Maybe he said something. Maybe he overstepped his boundaries. But you know, what, don't do away with everything shows some mercy, be forgiving towards them towards them. Because at the end of the day, you've got to be able to recognize the people that care about you. And you've got to be able to recognize the people that

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are actually, you know, just thrilling, you know, building you a great in Hellfire,

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putting you in a fight for the rest of your life for the rest of your existence, because they want to be on good terms with me, you've got to be able to recognize the good intentions of people who mess up. That's the first thing. The second thing is all time to go to the video. The second thing,

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you know, a lot of people are going to offend you because of the racism.

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And the sound phobia is probably only going to get worse. Let me let me ask this question. And be honest, you don't have to give me the religious answer.

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If you're if you're at a restaurant, and you can tell without a doubt that the waitress is offending you because you're Muslim, what do you do?

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Or if you're at school,

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and your teacher said a derogatory remark towards you, what do you do?

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complain, right?

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Right?

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Get the supervisor, get the manager at the restaurant, tell the Dean of the College, whatever it is, go after them and say I want this person. Here, you're not gonna get my business anymore. If you're in school, I want this teacher fire, I want this professor fire, you know,

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this, I want this,

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you're going a lot most of us will do that. Right? Most of us will do that for some ignorant fool walks up to you in Walmart, or somewhere else and says something derogatory towards you, because you're Muslim, you're going to talk back, you're going to curse back, you're going to find out. And in no way shape or form will probably be deluded into thinking that that's the right thing to do, especially sisters who were in shape, one will probably delude you into thinking the right thing to do was to yell back and scream back and show the same filthy manners that they show towards you. But at the end of the day, what was achieved by not, at the end of the day, what good was achieved by

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not that person stereotypes were reinforced. So the reason I'm saying this is because you're going to face at one point in your life, right and get worse, right? The elections are coming up, we're gonna get a lot more of them. Right, it might only get worse. So then we go back. And this is something important. And again, the idea that we spoke about today. That was

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that those people who have whenever they are facing oppression, young plus evil, they put themselves in a position to defend themselves. But whenever they're in that position or position where they couldn't take revenge, what do they do instead? I'm gonna let you go on. I'm gonna forgive you. They put themselves on resistant dignity, where they can respond when they can defend themselves. So for example, I'm gonna give you two cases right? And some of you guys gotta face the situation to somebody when you go to college and

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one guy goes to the goes to the office. Those are the demands of the professor gets fired.

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And the professor does require Brennan's degree of care, ACLU, all the Civil Liberties Union, stuff like that, you know, threatens to bring multiple to get that person fired, that person gets fired. The other one demands an apology. And that's and Devon says, You know what, I don't want that person to get punished. I don't want you to get fired. I just want you to understand that what you said was wrong. These are two situations that I know what happened. Right? One of these places NYU, New York University, right? You know that that Professor became

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serious that Professor actually becames later on, that Professor, called the system around and in class. And in front of everybody, that sister young proceeded, she went to the department, she complained, the department was about to fire a professor. She said, All this was going on with this virus, it's about on fire, I just want them to understand that what we did was wrong. My religion teaches me to show versus not versus became Muslim. Right. So Pamela, understand what it's better to show mercy. Put yourself in a position where you can defend yourself, you can exercise at the same you can't really say anything about what you don't do, you show the beauty of your religion. But the

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most important thing that I want you to take from all of this, trust me, your parents, your parents, your parents, even whenever they mess up, they're messing up with good intentions, they want what's best for you, you have to be able to understand. Otherwise, you're just like the two year old who's finding out, you're the same way as that two year old, you're just as mature. And just as dumb. As a two year old, you haven't reached a level where you really understand. You have to be able to understand, and you have to show mercy and love to them at all times, and the people in your life that care about you. If you're not willing to show those people in your life, you know, I'm gonna,

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seriously, I remember growing up my brother was terrible. Seriously, terrible. I mean, really, really, really harsh. Four and a half years older, is to drive me insane my entire life. Even whenever I was going to study Islam, he tried to determine from Deuteronomy to find a job, you're never going to make money, you're never going to be successful. Like, why don't you sit with this fun to signal that some of those conversations got really, really, really nasty. I forgave him. You know why? Because I know he was actually saying he was wrong. He was wrong. They got him out looking on the street. Like he said, I will be

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wrong, but I really forgave him for that. And I loved him for that, because

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he, he said those things that he cared about, right? So he was probably seven because he cared about and you've got to recognize that in your life. When people say things to you when people are partially because they love you because they want better what's best for you don't ever allow your ego to kick in, because your ego will throw you into hell face for your ego will ruin you. So, Tyler, before I saw the video, this would be my new thing. I'm gonna call him bring one person on, just kind of reflect for a few minutes. So today,

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color pigments covered everything. I just, I guess I can give some of my experiences with my parents, the people can, I guess? Really, right now I'm starting to understand the things that my parents didn't protect me.

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Protect me when I was younger, and younger, like video games or watch TV, I was really upset, right?

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Like all these other

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friends from school, but now I realize that because my mother and my father only allowed me to do things in moderation they actually protected and that's why I'm

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more successful than I would have been if they hadn't limited like entertain them.

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And when we said about pies terrible even a

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couple years back told us that

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pretty much like our stores called Bad rivals and said like savings promise that if somebody comes up to you and insults but in their statements, there is like one good thing and one little bit of advice if taken out one thing like sort of capitalize on improve yourself.

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And think pretty interesting story the other day. Well, every now and again like an eyelash except to go into my mother's car. So she called me downstairs one day and she told me to if possible take that car so

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gave me a mirror and a pair of tweezers and I went on the first try. I messed up the island. But my mother insisted that I hadn't taken it out because I was prepared to. And I started to get like old fences. I knew that I had taken that out. And I mean, it sort of escalated a little bit to the point that like, we're almost

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almost not executives.

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And then eventually, all the way I was pretty upset. But later on, my mom called me, and she said, You got it. But I forgive. And I realized that

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I needed my mother's forgiveness more than she did.

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Because I was wrong to get angry when to shower.

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Just interesting experiences like

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I was no

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one else, friends, friends. I mean,

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you guys got my back.

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And we need like,

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a lot of really close girlfriends. So we need to

00:31:16--> 00:31:20

make sure that none of us can shop on our keyboard.

00:31:22--> 00:31:25

A lot of egos get ahead of us.

00:31:48--> 00:31:58

So this is I want to make sense to you guys. But I didn't actually get a chance to show it to you because included in Donald. So this is commercial. I told you guys the story, but you can watch this video.

00:32:00--> 00:32:02

It's in some

00:32:03--> 00:32:08

of the other languages but there's English subtitles so you can read the subtitles and follow along

00:32:09--> 00:32:15

about a magazine with Sonic. So there's a little part like in the middle of this instrument someone pulls microphone away.

00:32:17--> 00:32:19

Just in case you understand that language

00:34:55--> 00:34:56

as we

00:34:59--> 00:34:59

discuss

00:35:00--> 00:35:00

Nice

00:35:01--> 00:35:02

to see,

00:36:31--> 00:36:46

honestly, one of the most powerful posts have ever seen in my life, maybe reflect on so many things you won't get into you have your own kids, honestly, you really won't get it to your own kids, but how many times they tolerated you. And so you should show them the same amount of tolerance and compassion.

00:36:54--> 00:37:26

Someone corrects you according to the parameters. So when someone says, Look, you're doing something wrong, you say, No, I'm not doing anything wrong. Don't judge me, bla bla bla, what's your proof? Oh, it says here, the grammar says this. And I'm not going to go, I'm not going to worry about that, I'm not going to accept that. That's the ultimate manifestation of progress. When you're not even willing to accept something for animism, from a loss of habitat and when even your Creator is not good enough for you. When even your reader has to logically convince you those two things. The second one, does anyone remember?

00:37:28--> 00:37:46

When you start to look down on people? Now, here's the thing, looking down on people, here's how we usually define them. The very naive man, when we think of looking down on people is, you know, I'm wearing a brand new pair of Jordans or whatever it is, you know, right into their shoes. Guy's writing samples from the Middle East.

00:37:48--> 00:38:17

I'm better than him. That's not what this is talking about. That's what you think you're better than somebody. When you when you think you're better than somebody. And you know, usually what falls into that category is the first people that usually fall into it Are your parents. Because at one point in your life, you really think you're better than your parents, you really think you've got a better understanding, and you really think you know better you really think that they're just insane and seen on point your life when they're not actually insane.

00:38:18--> 00:38:28

Right? They're still 50 years old. That's one of my good wife that comes into this, you know, the center point, when you think about when you hover, you can see the religious side of Americans and a better Muslim,

00:38:30--> 00:38:54

Muslim than her, you know, who is that guy think he is that guy has a girlfriend, I'm a better person than him who does, the sister thinks he or she has to work a job better than her. You might be practicing something that she should be practicing, you might be doing something that he should be doing, or you might be doing something that he is doing. But at the same time, the last time was Allah has never given you the right to say to yourself that you're a better Muslim than

00:38:55--> 00:39:34

that you're better than others. That's when it gets really, really, really, really bad. Now, here's the thing, identifying the prime, identifying the ego, and getting rid of it has a lot of practical steps that the products have taught us that we find in the books of testing and how to purify ourselves how to get rid of that stuff, because that stuff can kill you. spiritual pride can kill you spiritually, because you'll never acknowledge your mistakes. You'll say things to people that you will regret for the rest of your life. And you might have lost out as a leader because you rejected something from the parameter center because you thought you knew better you put yourself

00:39:34--> 00:39:35

above even

00:39:37--> 00:39:44

now in our situation. Here's the problem. And I want to take all the last things all three last little list

00:39:45--> 00:39:48

and specifically how we can act upon this.

00:39:49--> 00:39:59

Number one, being able to control your time, humbling yourself, knowing that you're not all that seriously, you're not all done.

00:40:00--> 00:40:34

That if someone comes to you and tries to help you, if someone comes to you and correct you, if someone crosses you don't take that as something that you know that just don't take that as something that should you know, that will serve your ego, use them, use them, even if they're insulting, even if they're rude even if there are fences, let me tell you why. Sometimes you're gonna walk into the message, you might be dressed in a certain way, and some uncle's gonna call you out on them. And they might do it in a very honest manner. So I'm not justifying what they're doing, they have to face a loss. And you've got to, you've got to face the loss times out of the reason.

00:40:35--> 00:41:10

And sometimes what we do, you're not going to listen to one beautiful person, because of the way that he said, He's rude to kids, his kids, he's better than me. He thinks my parents raised me right. But he told you to do something that was right. At the end of the day, he told you to do something that you shouldn't be doing where he tries to correct something about you trying to take the benefit from what he said to you. Yeah, he's wrong. Yes, the way he said it was wrong, he shouldn't have approached you about it. But trying to find the benefit of not trying to find the advantage of not trying to find out what in there that might be true, you don't know is extremely

00:41:10--> 00:41:46

important. Because there is something about there's a reason why it was sent to you and it wasn't sent to somebody else. And if it's something from a parameter system, don't let your ego stop you from accepting that. The other thing again, it's one thing to surround yourself with people who will give you advice and people that will try to direct you, whenever your friend calls you out talking about your friends now, when your friend calls you out. And he calls you out on a rough manner. And again, the type of people that you want to have around you the type of relationship that you want to have. This is what I said two weeks ago, no budget and all of that were one of the messes up. And I

00:41:46--> 00:42:22

don't want to mess this up. Although I can grasp it later on. If you haven't got the time period, pull them down and tell them to watch this. Because they trusted each other. They understood that each one was watching the other person's back. They understood that they weren't just leaving each other to Telfair for the sake of you know, winning a popularity contest for the sake of getting along with everybody. They want to see each other's backs. And they understood that. So whenever your friend comes to you to correct you, when someone calls you up, you're sitting there trying to recognize the intensity of that person trying to see good and what that person is trying to do,

00:42:23--> 00:42:34

trying to see some benefit from that. And then the third thing, and this is where it really comes down to your parents, your parents. Now, let me teach you on the scenario.

00:42:35--> 00:42:54

If right now, my baby's name was downstairs, and she wanted a piece of it. And I only want to say the word I'm gonna say that she wanted a piece. Because if I say now start streaming, right? And if if she wanted a piece of that, and I said no. And I put it in my pocket. And I said no, when she started throwing a tantrum.

00:42:56--> 00:43:03

What is everyone in here going to think? Is everyone is anyone going to actually take a seat? Right? No, she's cute. But is she right? Or am I gonna

00:43:05--> 00:43:12

lose right now? Okay, she doesn't understand you. You can point to me at least you want to get her on your bad side. Who's right? And who's wrong in that situation?

00:43:14--> 00:43:50

She was wrong. I was trying to watch out. But I can't sit her down and explain to her, what can you just have her to explain to her that sugar is not good for her because it's my keeper awake at night. I can't do that. Right? She doesn't get that yet. Meaning She still hasn't reached a level of maturity, baby still haven't reached a level of maturity, children still have an army level maturity, she gets a little bit older, whenever the child gets a little bit older, they're at celebration station was supposed to go to Chucky cheese, or they're out somewhere, you know, parents compensate, it's time to go home and they start throwing their tantrum. And this place is a monster

00:43:50--> 00:44:04

goes in two minutes. Anyway, he didn't stay there for four hours. who's right and who's wrong. The parents were spending money trying to give your kid a good title or either the kid for crying to throw a tantrum, and going off with their parents to not letting them stay until the time you know until closing time.

00:44:05--> 00:44:11

The parents were right. But that kid still hasn't reached a level of maturity where they can understand.

00:44:12--> 00:44:50

Now let me tell you why a lot of us are still at the same level of maturity at the age of 20 years old. Here's the reason why. Because the canyon narrows the car. Canada is not letting you leave your house, you know to go on at this time of the night. It's not letting you do what you want to do at this time. It's not you know, it's calling you out on this certain action that you're doing. The only thing is you're not talking about you know, skills anymore. You're talking about something much bigger, but the concept is still there. Your parents still want what's best for you. They're still doing things. They're still restraining you. And let me tell me something. The greatest thing ever

00:44:50--> 00:44:59

my dad ever did, was beating the trash all across the country dying seriously because I understood later on.

00:45:00--> 00:45:32

Like, he really did that, because he loved me. He really did that, because he loved me. And there was a reason for that. Sometimes I think a lot of people think this topic My dad is stricter than other people is that how come this kid has to get spoiled brat and do what he wants given in college? Right? because trust me, some people in college have the mind to the 10 year old, you know, come from this kid gets whatever he wants, but I don't need any of that. How can I go through the struggle, you really appreciate that once you reach the material, just like the kid understands that whenever they're not locked into the into fire, because of the candy.

00:45:33--> 00:46:03

You know, thanks for holding that away from me, you start to get these things later on in life. The problem is, is that some people take a really, really, really long time to understand who really cares for them, and who really loves them. So instead of looking for those people who love them, instead of looking for those people, instead of receiving that advice, instead of taking these, you know, with the appropriate response, you're going to surround yourself with people that accept you as a failure. And all you want is Slattery

00:46:04--> 00:46:31

people to tell you that you're doing the right thing, all you want is passive friends is a product called beauty does one or the other will be guilty of the same crime as the one who committed those people will be in the same level of health are not correcting passes, just letting everything go. I'm not gonna say anything new. But that's what we want. We want people to make us feel good. We want flattery around us all the time, all the time. But now let's go to another category. This is where this is what

00:46:32--> 00:46:38

was this, about showing the passion versus when the other person is right or when the other person is wrong?

00:46:40--> 00:46:49

Or when the other person is wrong? Okay, now, parents, you can close your ears right now, please, parents, you should not even close your ears. Sometimes your parents are wrong.

00:46:51--> 00:47:26

Sometimes your parents really did not make the right calls. Okay. And sometimes they really say things that you know what, maybe they're not right. Maybe it's maybe it's true. It's not the norm By the way, the norm is that you're wrong. And you're not understanding like you because you're young, you haven't gotten every once in a while though. And I have to be diplomatic and politically correct. Every once in a while, the parents will make a mistake. people that love you and people that care about you, they're going to advise you the wrong way, they're going to be too harsh to the point where they're going to say something that you shouldn't have said, they're going to personally

00:47:26--> 00:48:05

offend you don't do away with all of their good, and all of their intentions. And in all of the times that you were wrong, because they messed up that one time. That's so important to understand. You know, maybe right now you don't face that as much. But whenever you can, especially whenever you start getting into, you know, your professional careers and things of that sort matters of marriage, that is family, these types of things. Sometimes your parents are really going to say things that are going to upset you. And they might actually be wrong, because the last time to dominate them infallible love did not make you would follow 99% of the time you're wrong 1% of the time, they're

00:48:05--> 00:48:09

wrong. Sometimes you're gonna have your older brother, you're gonna have that friend.

00:48:11--> 00:48:42

He's gonna call you, Mom, don't do away with all of the good, because he makes most of that time because he did something wrong. Maybe he did do something wrong. Maybe he said something that maybe he overstepped his boundaries. But you know what, don't do away with everything, show some mercy, be forgiving towards them towards them. Because at the end of the day, you've got to be able to recognize the people that care about you. And you've got to be able to recognize the people that are actually, you know, just thrilled enough to believe you upgraded Hellfire,

00:48:43--> 00:49:01

putting you in Hellfire for the rest of your life for the rest of your existence because they want to be on good terms with me. You've got to be able to recognize the good intentions of people who mess up. That's the first thing. The second thing is all time you have to go to the video. The second thing

00:49:02--> 00:49:05

you know a lot of people are going to offend you because of the racism

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and the some phobia is probably only going to get worse. Let me let me ask this question and be honest, you don't have to give me the religious answer.

00:49:16--> 00:49:24

If you're if you're at a restaurant, and you can tell without a doubt that the waitress is offending you because there was what do you do?

00:49:27--> 00:49:28

Or if you're at school,

00:49:29--> 00:49:33

and your teacher said a derogatory remark towards you, what do you do?

00:49:37--> 00:49:38

complaint right.

00:49:42--> 00:49:59

Get the supervisor get the manager of the restaurant, tell the Dean of the College whatever it is go after them and say I want this person fired I don't want them here. You're not gonna get my business anymore. If you're in school. I want this teacher fire. I want this professor fire. You know, I want I want to I want this. I want this

00:50:00--> 00:50:38

You're going a lot, most of us will do that. Right? Most of us will do that, for some ignorant fool walks up to you in Walmart, or somewhere else and says something derogatory towards you, because you're Muslim, you're going to talk back, you're going to curse back, you're going to fight back. And in no way, shape or form will probably be deluded into thinking that that's the right thing to do, especially sisters who were shaken will probably delude you into thinking the right thing to do was to yell back and scream back and show the same filthy manners that they show towards you. But at the end of the day, what was achieved by that, at the end of the day, what good was achieved by not

00:50:38--> 00:51:00

that person stereotypes were reinforced. So the reason I'm saying this is because you're going to face at one point in your life, it might even get worse, right? The elections are coming up, we're gonna get a lot more of them. Right, it might only get worse. So then we go back. And this is something, again, that we spoke about today. That was one of

00:51:01--> 00:51:40

those people who had whenever they are facing oppression, young plus evil, they put themselves in a position to defend themselves. But whenever they're in that position, or position where they couldn't take revenge, what do they do? Instead, I'm gonna let you go on, I'm gonna forgive you. They put themselves in position of dignity, where they can respond, where they can defend themselves. So for example, I'm gonna give you two cases, right? And some of you guys are gonna face the situation to somebody when you go to college and my face is to one guy goes to the goes to the office, those the dean and demands that the professor gets fired. And the professor does get fired,

00:51:40--> 00:52:12

threatens to bring care, ACLU, all these civil liberties unions, stuff like that, you know, threatens to bring multiple to get that person fired, that person gets fired. The other one demands an apology. And as the devil says, You know what, I don't want that person to get punished. I don't want you to get fired. I just want you to understand that what you said was wrong. These are two situations that I know what happened. Right? One of these places NYU, New York University, right? You know that that Professor McCain was

00:52:14--> 00:52:54

serious that Professor actually becames later on that Professor, called the system erotica, in class, or in front of everybody. That's the youngest. She went to the department, she complained. The department was about to fire the Confessor. She said that all this was going on with this virus. He said I don't want him fired. I just want them to understand that what he did was wrong. My religion teaches English overseas, that person became Muslim. Right? So Pamela, understand what it's better to show versus put yourself in a position where you can defend yourself, you can exercise that the same, you can do the same thing about what you don't do, you show the beauty of your

00:52:54--> 00:53:19

religion. But the most important thing that I want you to take from all of this, trust me, your parents, your parents, your parents, even when everything else up, they're messing up with good intentions, they want what's best for you, you have to be able to understand. Otherwise, you're just like a two year old, who's finding out Canada, you're the same way as that two year old, you're just as mature and just as dumb as that.

00:53:20--> 00:53:36

You haven't reached a level where you really understand things, you have to be able to understand and you have to show mercy and love to them at all times. And the people in your life that care about you. If you're not willing to show those people in your life, you know, I'm gonna seriously

00:53:37--> 00:54:12

remember growing up my brother was terrible. Seriously, terrible. I mean, really, really, really harsh. Four and a half years older, used to drive me insane my entire life. Even whenever I was studying, he tried to determine he was like, dude, you're trying to find a job. You're never gonna make money. You're never going to be successful. Like, why did you stick with this farm to stick with that some of those conversations got really really, really nasty. I forgave him. You know why? Because I knew he was actually saying that out of love for me. He was wrong. He was wrong. They got in my living on the street. Like he said, I will be

00:54:14--> 00:54:18

wrong, but I really forgave him for that. And I love I love him for that because I know

00:54:19--> 00:54:50

he meant what he said those things because he cared about me. Right? So he was probably seven because he cared about and you've got to be able to recognize that in your life. When people say things to you when people are partially because they love you because they want better what's best for you don't ever allow your ego to kick in because your ego will throw you into hell fakers, your ego will ruin you. So, before I saw the video, this would be my new thinking column, ring one person just kind of reflect for a few minutes. So today, so

00:54:59--> 00:54:59

fingers crossed

00:55:00--> 00:55:15

Everything that I just, I guess I can give some of my experiences with my parents, the people can, I guess, really, right now I'm trying to understand the things that my parents didn't protect me.

00:55:18--> 00:55:27

things in the past, take me when I was younger and younger and like video games or watch TV, I was really upset, right?

00:55:29--> 00:55:31

I mean, all these other

00:55:32--> 00:55:43

friends from school. But now I realize that because my mother and my father only allowed me to do things in moderation, they actually protected. And that's why I'm

00:55:44--> 00:55:49

more successful than I would have been if they hadn't limited like, entertaining.

00:55:51--> 00:55:51

And

00:55:54--> 00:55:56

terrible. I think even a

00:55:58--> 00:56:01

couple years back told us that

00:56:02--> 00:56:20

pretty much like our stores called Bad rivals and said like savings promise that if somebody comes up to you and insults, but in their savings, there is like one good thing and one little bit of advice, if take that one thing, like sort of capitalize on that improve yourself.

00:56:22--> 00:56:58

And think, pretty interesting story the other day, will every now and again, like an eyelash except to go into my mother's car. So she called me on stage one day, and she told me to, if possible, take that car. So she gave me a mirror and a pair of tweezers. And I went on the first try. I messed up the island. But my mother insisted that I hadn't taken it out because I was prepared to. And I started to get like all the fences. I knew that I had taken that out. And I mean, it sort of escalated a little bit to the point that like we were almost

00:57:00--> 00:57:02

almost shouting into the executive.

00:57:03--> 00:57:14

And then eventually, ultimately, I was pretty upset. But later on my mom called me and she said you gotta help. But I forgive. And I realized that

00:57:15--> 00:57:17

I needed my mother's forgiveness more than she did.

00:57:19--> 00:57:23

Because I was wrong to get angry when to shower.

00:57:25--> 00:57:26

interesting experiences.

00:57:32--> 00:57:36

What else? friends friends. I mean

00:57:38--> 00:57:40

you guys got my back.

00:57:43--> 00:57:43

Tell me more

00:57:47--> 00:57:47

that

00:57:49--> 00:57:52

a lot of us are really close. We're all friends. So we need to

00:57:54--> 00:57:57

make sure that none of us can shop our

00:58:01--> 00:58:04

egos get ahead of us, just to protect

00:58:19--> 00:58:19

you.

00:58:27--> 00:58:27

So this is

00:58:29--> 00:58:37

three guys but I didn't actually get a chance to show it to you because it's limited down. So this is commercial. I told you guys this story, but you can watch this video.

00:58:39--> 00:58:46

It's in some other language going on with the other languages but there's English subtitles so you can read the subtitles in Chinatown and follow along

00:58:47--> 00:58:51

about a magazine with Sonic. So there's a little part that can

00:58:52--> 00:58:54

instruct someone pull the microphone away.

00:58:55--> 00:58:58

Just in case you understand that language

01:01:33--> 01:01:34

As we

01:01:44--> 01:01:44

move

01:03:06--> 01:03:24

so try to get that as a message of power honestly one of the most powerful person I've ever seen in my life, reflect on so many things you won't get into you have your own kids. Honestly, you really won't get it to be on your own kids but how many times they tolerated you. So you should show them the same amount of tolerance and compassion