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The Advice You Need to Hear

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Omar Suleiman

Channel: Omar Suleiman

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Episode Transcript

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We begin by praising Allah Subhana Allah and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for him. And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is his final messenger, we ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him and those that follow in his blessed path until the day of judgment, and we ask Allah to make us amongst them Allahumma Amin, dear brothers and sisters, there is a body of a Hadith from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, probably more extensive than in any other way of life, about the

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importance of nausea, the importance of sincere advice. And typically you find that the body of Hadith that are focused on nausea focused on the idea of sincere advice, focus on how to give advice, the mechanics of giving advice, the way that we talk to people, the way that we talk to our brothers and sisters. And the way that this ultimately ties into the pursuit of Allah subhanaw taala is pleasure and our destination, our hope, destination of paradise whatsoever. So we'll help the what our sub sub are people that enjoying one another in good and forbid evil amongst each other, and help one another towards that pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala and keep each other resilient and

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steadfast and patience with what comes with taking that path collectively. And while you have all of these Hadith all of these statements about how a person should give advice, and it is important, because it affects the way that a person will receive it. You have an entire scope that is described in the Quran and the Sunnah, of how to make the heart necessary to receive sincere advice similar to the way that you make the heart necessary, or you make the heart fertile to receive the most necessary advice and the most necessary guidance of all time, which is the infallible speech of Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, that the heart has to be willing to receive even the Quran. There is

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no word that is greater than the Quran. There is no advice like the Quran, there is no guidance, like the guidance of the Quran. It is perfect in every sense, spoken by ALLAH SubhanA, which Allah meant for your heart to receive it. And even then, there are hearts that are described as being as hard as stone that cannot receive it. And there is no fault whatsoever in the Quran, the fault is in the heart that was unable to receive it. On the other hand, the opposite of that may Allah azza wa jal make our hearts the opposite of that. There are hearts that are like fertile soil, they receive the revelation, and they continue to grow these beautiful crops, these beautiful plants, all

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stemming from that initial revelation from Allah subhanho wa taala. And so there has to be the giver and the receiver there has to be a heart that is ready. And if that is the case for the Quran, and certainly when it comes to the imperfect advice, that we're commanded to give each other where there is more room for things to be wrong in substance or in delivery, then the heart has to be at an even greater level of anticipation and desire to receive then that heart which is with the Quran, which is with the word of Allah subhanho wa taala. And you find so many Hadith that stress this communal role amongst us the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam speaking about the believers as being

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mirrors to one another, a mirror shows you things that you otherwise cannot see. It shows you flaws that you otherwise cannot see. You know, if you look in the mirror, and there's a stain on your shirt, then that's how you detect that stain. If there's something that's on your face, that's how you detect that thing that's on your face. That's the function of that mirror. And for the believer, to the believer, you are the spiritual mirror of every brother and sister in this ummah, you're their spiritual mirror, that means that there is a necessary cleansing mechanism that you have to have for yourself. And there's a function that you serve to your brother and your sister. And if you

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don't serve that function, then you are the defective mirror.

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And subhanAllah you find this emphasis on the collective decay of mankind's being tied to the unwillingness of people to advise one another anymore. On the profit side. So I mentioned that the people will be in hide, they will be in good, so long as they enjoying good and forbid evil amongst themselves. Now, typically, we might resort to when we read a hadith like that, this idea that evil becomes so emboldened and when it's unchallenged, it only grows and that's true. But there's another set of people a large set of people that aren't necessarily evil that aren't necessarily emboldened in their evil but they just don't know any better because there's a collective leaving all

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off of this nasiha, this culture of advising one another of enjoying good and forbidding evil, trying to build one another up to be pleasing to Allah Subhana Allah to Allah and the mountain was a Sati or amo Allah, he says something very profound in his here, he says, Think about a person who had a scorpion on their back. You know, we're we can relate maybe to mosquitoes right now in Texas, but if you had a scorpion on your back, and there was someone that was walking behind you, and that notice that Scorpion that was on your back before it ditch you, and they didn't tell you, the Fort bitchu. He said, similarly, when we have these character flaws that become obvious to people around

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us, and our brothers and sisters, don't point them out. It's like a scorpion that is there about to bite you, you have a responsibility to say to your brother or your sister, I see a scorpion that you might not see, not because you can't see, but it happens to be on your back. And I want to point it out to you. Not so that you scream a little quieter once the scorpion bites you so that I can actually stop you from, you know, suffering maximum damage through the bite of that scorpion. Perhaps I can stop it from biting you in the first place if I intervene early enough, or I can help you get treated quickly. But the point is, is that as people when we walk around, then we have

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scorpions on us. We want people to point that out to us. We want people to point out that harm because it poses an imminent physical harm. What about spiritual harms? What about spiritual diseases? And subhanAllah? You find there's a man by the name of our beloved Mubarak Rahim Allah to Allah. And you can find entire books that are just people asking our beloved and MOBOTIX Rahim Allah for advice and him responding with profound advice. And there came a time clearly where he stopped giving people advice. And he was asked, aren't you going to advise us? And he said, Is there anyone who's still looking for advice? I don't find that people are interested in hearing I'll see him

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anymore. I don't find that people are interested in having things pointed out to them. I find that people seem to have turned away from this and he's talking about it at that time. And as a result of that, who suffers, not the person that no longer gives advice, but the person that could have received really good advice, necessary advice to make themselves more pleasing to Allah subhanho Jan,

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and there is a man by the name Habibollah GitLab Rahim Allah He said that I asked Abdullah Mubarak Rahim Allah to Allah, what is the best thing that a human being can be given? Ma Hydromat RTL insaan, what's the best thing a person can be given. So first, he responded, he said, a lot easier to first and foremost good intuition, strong insight perception, where you have the internal mechanics you have that intelligence and that, that that introspection to where you can think on your own, you can see things for yourself, not exclusively on your own, but you have a strong mind in a good way you have a functioning mind that actively seeks out the best version of the knifes

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that actively seeks out the best ways to refine the character and to purify the heart. And that sees the world in a certain way and sees the self in in a certain way. So a person that can sit and reflect and have that intelligence and have that intuition and that perception, to be able to self rectify. And then he said for him Jaquan What if a person doesn't have the color other than a person has good manners, good manners, at least. Right? So they observe a certain set of basic courtesies and good manners and Subhanallah one of the beauties of this ummah, that sometimes you find the most illiterate people in this ummah have the most beautiful o'clock, the most beautiful characteristics,

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the most beautiful values, the most beautiful qualities and you don't get that sometimes unless you travel the Muslim world. Sometimes there are certain things that people have in them, almost innately that have been embedded in them in them that are so beautiful and so pleasing to Allah subhanaw taala and they might not even be able to read a book, but they have other they have good other good manners called the inland Jaquan. He said, Oh, what if I don't have that color icon, Shafiq? Yes, the Shiro, then you have a good brother who can give you advice. Someone that can give you good advice. So if you're not able to come up with this alone, if you're not able to work on

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yourself alone, and if you have a hard time coming to these places, then you need someone that can point things out to you. You need someone that you can seek advice from and we all need that. But that's the third thing. Carla for inlandia Cohen, he said what if I don't have that kind of someone, Pauline?

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You then you should have long periods of silence. You shouldn't talk much. You shouldn't engage much in that case because you're likely to be making a ton of mistakes that

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ton of mistakes if you don't have the internal rectifying mechanism of to dabble into fucker on a regular routine basis and you don't have the natural manners that have been put inside of you and embedded in you through culture through good company and you don't have a good brother, a good sister to advise you sometimes to lead.

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That should really affect the amount of times that you engage, how you engage in giving input and speaking and doing because you don't have the necessary mechanics and filters to be able to process that properly thought of and Aamir Khan, Carla, Milton added he said, If I don't have that, he said, then you should probably at that point wish for death. If you have none of these things, you're not capable of any of these things. And that means that your period on earth your extension of a period on Earth is just going to be an extension of sin. May Allah subhanaw taala protect us. So what does this look like? Culturally? What does this look like when a person naturally has the ability to hear

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no see, and to take the best of it, and to act upon it? And to be in that sincere pursuit of Allah subhanaw taala one of the famous stories of Imam Malik Rahim Allah Tada as Imam Malik walks into a masjid after Salah to the ASA one day and it was from the opinion of Imam Malik Rahim Allah that if you walked into the masjid after salah, and also that you wouldn't pray to here to the masjid, you would not pray the two Dockers of entering the masjid. And this young man comes up and in a harsh way, tells him to get up and pray to recurse he could have responded and said let me speak to young man about my moussaka. Let me pull up my book, show you my Hadith and explain to you how i the Imam

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of Medina got to this place. He could have debated him at that moment. But instead he got up and he prayed to that guys right away.

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And as students who have been taught by Him that that's not the right time to pray to them because they were lost by this they said, you know, we know from you that when you enter into the masjid after Salah to Lhasa we don't pray to hear the message. And he said I was afraid of being one of those people who Allah subhana wa Tada described what either por la Mercado, like I'm currently one of those people who Allah subhanaw taala says when they are told to bow they don't bow. I did not want to find myself in the category of the stubborn disobedience, heedless, rebellious transgressors that Allah Subhana Allah mentions that would resist what is good for them. And so he's still acted

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upon that advice. The opposite of this group of people are a people that Allah azza wa jal describes in the Quran are either Tila Tequila that will resolve belief. When you say to a person or when you say to this person, fear Allah be mindful of Allah, Allah Tala is belittle.

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Pride stops them from abandoning that sin. Pride stops them from abandoning that sin either they don't like the person that told them a tequila, or they don't like the way that it was set to them. Or they just don't like being corrected period. Right. But it tequila is set to them. Twitter is beneath them, then they are stuck because of their pride because of their arrogance. And Eminem is a little the Allahu Taala annually commented on this idea. He said in them in October them he said one of the worst of sins and the Akula robbery he it tequila, that a person says to his brother to his sister, be mindful of Allah fear Allah and that person says, or they can be enough sick and to

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testimony.

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Worry about yourself. You're You're telling me what to do? Who are you to tell me what to do? And they can be enough sick, worry about yourself, and to testimony? Maybe they'll respond with all of the sins and all of the flaws? How dare you give me advice? Who are you to give me now see how mind you there is a way to say to someone a tequila. And sometimes that's not actually even using the words it's tequila. There is a tone, there's a delivery, there's the the personnel of the good ways in which you give and I'll see how beautifully.

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But here the blame falls on the recipient when he responds with arrogance. So that's what it is to Bill FM. And what does that look like? That means that I will insist on a sin that will destroy me to make you mad.

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I'm not going to give you the pleasure of correcting me. And ultimately I'm going to harm myself in the hereafter. Because I don't want to give you that validation. Think about how that sounds when you actually play it out. I'm not going to correct myself. I'm not going to do something differently. I'm not going to take the step towards Allah subhanaw taala that I know I should take. I'm not going to abandon the sin that I know I should abandon because I don't want you to have the pleasure of knowing that you put me in my place. Uh huh. That's what it is. But if

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who hurts at the end of the day, what are you going to tell Allah subhanaw taala on the day of judgment I don't like the way he said it to me

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I wanted to show them who's the boss, You're not the boss, neither am I. Neither is the person who gave you advice, even if they did it in the wrong way.

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And subhanAllah I want you to flip this frame in your mind for a moment. If someone gives you advice in the wrong way, or in a way, that's not the best, they could have done better.

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And there's a part of you maybe they were even very rude to you. But there is some weights to the advice that was given to you. Instead of seeing it as but I'm going to validate that person's bad practices, see it as maybe I have to rewards with Allah subhanaw taala the reward of swallowing my ego, and the reward of doing the thing that I was supposed to do anyway. It may be that Allah azza wa jal to reward you for in spite of the fact that the advice was given to you in a bad way. You still did it to please Him. Flip the frame. I'm going to act upon this to please Allah subhanaw taala even though I don't like the way the person said it to me, and you know what, if I want to

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correct that person's bad way of giving advice, I will say to them to Zach, Allah hit, I really benefited from this and this is good, and inshallah I'm going to act on it. Inshallah, if you get a chance, maybe the next time that you speak to someone that's going through this predicament, it may help defuse this because you might be able to deliver better but exactly like that I benefited, this is good. I acted upon it, I want to act upon it.

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If there is some validation in some way to that, and I see how that's being given to you, take it, take it. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Beware of creating a culture or an aura around you where people don't want to deal with you. He said some alarming some element shuddered. And Nassim Antartica who knows it deeper, actually, the worst of people are those who people leave off giving advice to because they don't want to deal with their foul mounts. I don't even want to say anything to that person. Yeah, I know they have that. But I just don't want to deal with their temper. I'd rather that person sink themselves, because I don't want to deal with them. Don't be a

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person who creates an aura around you where we don't want to give that person we'll see.

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I don't want to talk to my father, I don't want to talk to my mother. I don't want to talk to my husband. I want to talk to my wife, my brother, my sister, my friend, my colleague, I don't want to give them a car because I don't want to set them off. If people have to walk around eggshells around you then that's something for you to assess and say why is it that people don't approach me and give me nasiha directly what am I doing wrong that maybe I don't invite that Naseeha and the greatest person in that regard save their own model the Allah Tada and and I think about it when you think humility, sometimes you think broken, disgraced, those are all model the Allahu Anhu evoke any level

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of disgrace in your mind. None. None. The manifestation of mental other and then out of

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that whoever humbles himself for Allah, Allah raises them on the Allahu Anhu used to say, Rahim Allah whom an added layer up may Allah have mercy on the person who guides me to my faults. May Allah bless that person who comes to me and who tells me Hey, I noticed this, whether it's a servant or a king, whether it's a colleague, whether it's one of the great companions, or someone who's unknown, even a non Muslim family member or a stranger, when someone would tell our model the Allah, you know, some form of advice, he took it, and he would celebrate that person. Why because he wanted everyone to know when you have advice for almoradi Allah Tala annual go give him advice. He wants

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it. And subhanAllah you think about the day and age that we live in, you know, people pay loads of money, for leadership classes and assessments and all of these things, which, by the way, are good for you. Not saying they're not good for you. But one of the reasons why we feel comfortable receiving harsh critical advice from complete strangers is because we don't feel threatened by those people. Right? So I can have a stranger that you know, assesses me over 30 minutes or whatever it is, I put in something into a system and then tells me all these things that are flaws that I need to correct but I don't feel threatened by that person.

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What if, what if your ego doesn't feel threatened by the people around you? who know you best and who could be giving you that critical mercy? What if you disarm? What if you put that ego away? Subhanallah what would happen in your life, people that don't need you to fill out a 30 minute assessment? They've got three years with you or 30 years with you where they could give you some let's see how about yourself and maybe they're not experts, but they know you better than those experts do. And there's value to what they would be able to say to you and I want to inshallah to Allah and with this because it's important when I keep on saying renew a culture of advice around

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you give an you know give an opening a constant opening for people to give no see how to to seek nasiha from people. One of the reasons why that becomes so important is because we change we change the law see her I might have needed a year ago. I might need a completely different I'll see her now. We change. It's not like you get to a point where you no longer need

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he'd advice, circumstances change, and then we change sometimes with those circumstances in ways we can't see. And they'll tell you in psychology that in our mind somewhere, there's always a perception that we're still that innocent child. And maybe we're not. Maybe we're not. And because we change, we need people's advice to be constant. So it can detect those changes early on. We want people to notice it early in us when they start to see that change and to feel invited to say to us, you know, my brother, my sister, my friend, I just, you know, I noticed this and I wanted to point it out to you and you say, Zack, Allah O'Hara, thank you so much for that. It's panela you'll find

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yourself even taking advice from their children talking about not feeling threatened, not having a fragile ego, you know, to be able to say to your children, give me no say Ha, let's have a culture of advice and exchange together. And this is where we find Subhanallah that a person can grow out of an experience rather than be completely taken off track by you want someone to intercept a temporary circumstantial flaw that before it becomes a permanent characteristic flow. You want someone to intercept and intervene at an early stage where it's a temporary circumstance rather than a permanent character detriments May Allah Subhana Allah protect us from that. And he said Rahim Allah

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to Allah, our beloved robotic ly Azhar to the model early human mouth Matabeleland for either one and the whole Kadima for Caja Hill. A person remains to be a knowledgeable person so long as they are seeking knowledge. Once a person feels like they have reached the place of knowledge, then they have reached the place of complete ignorance. Instead, replace follow their L with Paula nasiha. Here seeking good advice sticking is to Shara from people once we stopped seeking that growth and seeking that advice from people around us, then we may indeed become permanently relegated to our own misconstrued perceptions of ourself May Allah subhanaw taala protect us from self delusion Allah

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Allah Amin, a practical tip that I'm going to give to everyone in sha Allah to Allah, you have an assignment, this Juma, which is this week in sha Allah to Allah this week and preferably within the next few days, I want you to go to to people that are very close to you. And I want you to invite them to give you sincere advice to people that are close to you and maybe that you think will give you advice that you might not want to hear but to people that you go to and you push them and if they ask you why you're acting that way say that it was a job assignment and I had to do so but if you have to, you know call someone bring someone you know from far away go to someone and say I need

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Nasi. How what do you think I could do to better myself? What are some changes you've noticed in me? How can I be a better character? May Allah subhanaw taala grant us the best of character and allow us to be close to our prophets lie Selim in this life and character and close to him and for those who are either Allahumma Amin Furukawa, or stuff like that accompany certain Muslim infrastructure for Rahim.

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Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah while earlier he was like the woman Well, Allah Orban Allah to hidden that in the scene, our Patna Robina will attack me Latina Aslan, camera Hamilton who Isla de Nam and Kadena Robina Wella to handle Nirmala Takata Lana the wire for Anna often our Hamner internal learner from sunnah added calm and Catherine rebelled Allah and Allah hamara will it will x&y. Corbeau inherited fascia who wouldn't monkey with belly you're able to come to the Quran fiscal Allah has croquembouche kuruva and in their mouth is blocking one of the Corolla he Akbar Allahu Yamuna across in our own wealthy masala