Learning From Those Who Have Mistreated You

Omar Suleiman


Channel: Omar Suleiman

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Forgiveness is a natural and necessary part of one's life, as it helps individuals grow up to empower others and remove suffering from others. It is crucial to avoid mistreatment and allow others to do their part. Breaks are natural and necessary, and individuals should not mistreat others and become an advocate for their pain. It is important to avoid mistreatment and allow others to do their part.

Transcript ©

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Hi everyone, I said I want

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to cancel out an estimate Are you going to Shakeology was phenomenal. I

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mean, whatever the one

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who didn't win subpoena last Sunday was a little about a karate course. So we call Mohammed and sallallahu wasallam on and he was lucky, he was 17 and Kafeel. So tonight, I wanted to speak to a subject that has to do with the idea of being wrong, and how to make the most of a situation in which you are wronged or Western in which you are mistreated. And really bringing an element that I don't think is brought in most of the time when the subject is discussed. And so oftentimes, when we talk about processing, you know, what has happened to you, if someone has wronged you, if someone has abused you, or someone has oppressed you, or whatever it may be, right, the discussion almost

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always goes to an idea of forgiveness versus retribution. And, of course, you know, just to set that, you know, at least that foundation, a loss of kind of what's added, does not distinguish between the two, they're not two separate concepts, instead of justice is the standard and then assigned compassion is called to. And so when a person is wrong, they shouldn't be put in a situation where they have perfect justice, where they have the ability to have fair retribution, but at the same time, their call to mercy and forgiveness. And those two things are not to be separated from one another. And so there's that foundation, that set of either an axon retribution, justice

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and forgiveness and mercy and that higher ideal, and of course, there's another level of that, which has been spoken about, which is this idea of feeling compassion for your enemies, or, you know, seeing things through their eyes, trying to sympathize with them, even as they might hurt you, and things of that sort to try to understand what it is that caused them to act in the way that they're acting, and trying to see things through their, through their eyes, right. And that is a means of removing the burden from yourself. And of course, at the same time, seeing that person in a more humanizing fashion. And that's something that, you know, has, its it has its merits. And of course,

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it has its limitations, it has its exceptions. You know, that's not for every situation. But at the same time, you know, a person with a very big heart is not just called to a place of forgiveness, or to overlook when wrongdoing comes their way, and they're in a situation where they've been empowered. And that's where Islam causes to be to put people in a place where they have the right to justice, they have the right to retribution at the same time, call them at that point, when they're fully empowered, not pressure them, but call them to a place of we are fully allowed to have money a little local, let them forgive in part and don't they want a lot to forgive them in part in that.

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And then the second level, which is really, you know, the prophetic compassion, the way that the prophets lie, Selim saw the people on the other side, even those that were hurting him that were literally knocking his teeth out in a hood, and the Prophet peace be upon him saying along with for the economy, phenomenal, yada, won't ALLAH forgive my people, they don't know any better. And the prophets lie. So I'm making excuses for his people. And that has to come from a place of,

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you know, heightened spirituality and trying to empathize even with those who hurt you as they're hurting you, right. And that's not an easy thing to do. So there's a basis for that as well. But again, you can't, you don't burden the victim or the person who's being hurt with that. But at the same time, it's something that we learned from the prophets, I send them as sort of a highest standard, right, an elevated standard and a high ideal. And then there's some other elements to this. So one of them is the importance of forgiving yourself for letting someone hurt you.

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You know, this, this really has to do with people that try to show axon to someone tried to show excellence to someone only to have it thrown back in their faces. And this is especially true in a relationship where you have one person that that really constantly extends their hand opens their heart shows us and shows excellence. And as a result of that is taken advantage of, and then later on in life, there can be a bitterness that develops in a person starts to think, you know, why did I let that person take advantage of me? Why did I let them hurt me that way? Why did I put myself in a vulnerable situation where I allowed myself to be harmed that way and it's important for you to

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forgive yourself, and know that in a lot of LuLaRoe, as on my singing a lot does not let the reward of the good doers go to waste. And so Allah will fill that gap. And you should not hold yourself to, you know, this, this, this crippling sense of regret, that you know, you let someone in your life or you gave someone too much of yourself and they use that to hurt you. Instead, you should say, you know, hustling alone at night, okay.

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Allah will fill that gap, the law sufficient for me and allows reward is great, and the law sufficient of a protector alone will fill that gap. And there is something to be learned from that entire experience. Which brings me to this, this point, right, which is really the core of what I wanted to deliver tonight. You know, a lot of times you'll read about how those that were abused, can can grow up to become abusers, or the people that are hurt, hurt others. And it's a natural consequence that someone will reenact the abuse that was done to them, and do it to others. And sometimes it's a matter of getting revenge on the world, right, because everyone becomes the world.

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And so because the world hurt me when it was really one person or it was really this group of people, I'm going to hurt the world now. And so a person, either consciously or subconsciously, hurts the people around them in a very similar fashion to the way that they were hurt. And what I wanted to speak to was the importance of breaking that cycle, breaking that cycle and not hurting people because you were hurt. Not letting a wrongdoing that was done to you manifest in you, you know, not just doing counter voting wrong wronging the person that wrong do because sometimes that can happen as a lost contact tells us that people exceed the bounds of retribution, and they end up

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harming, or they end up oppressing those that oppressed them. And they justify in their minds because they're hurt. And so they go beyond the the limits the boundaries of retribution, but I'm talking about actually, you know, letting that hurt build up inside of you. And then using that hurt to hurt someone else using the abuse that came your way to abuse someone else. And I want to actually flip that frame, inshallah tada for a moment, one of the greatest things that you can learn from someone who mistreated you is to not mistreat others, is to say, you know, I'm never going to treat someone the way that I was treated. I'm never going to hurt someone, the way that this person

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hurt me. And, you know, sometimes that even requires a person looking into the past and saying, okay, you know, was I guilty of this in the past? And do I need to seek forgiveness of doing the exact same thing that's being done to me from that person? And am I doing it right now to someone else, but maybe someone's very patient with me, maybe someone's very empathetic, or someone's very forgiving, and they're letting me get away with it. And in the process of getting in the process of me getting away with it? I'm not even aware that I've been hurting this person this whole time. And how do I not mistreat people in the future? How do I take the bitterness of that experience of being

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mistreated and say, I'm never going to treat anyone like that, right? I'm never going to take that, and, and wield that against someone else. That is something that you could take from the experience of being mistreated, that could greatly improve the quality of your life and your station in the hereafter. And that's something that should not be minimized. That is a huge deal. And you know, we talk about other Divine Decree and the fact that every evil that exists in your life, there's a purpose and a wisdom behind it that you can't comprehend. That includes evil people. And it's important for you to take that lesson and to say, Okay, how do I not do to others what has been done

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to me, you know, it's what the prophets lie Selim said, The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said to treat people the way that you want a lot to treat you.

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And so forgive people, because you want to be forgiven by Allah have mercy upon people, because you want a lot to have mercy upon you. Be generous with people, because you want a lot to be generous with you, and so on, so forth, right? But here, something has been done to you. And you should take that I should take that it's not easy. I'm not claiming that it's easy. But we should take those experiences and say, I'm never going to do to someone else, not just to that person that harmed me, I'm never going to do to someone else, what was done to me, I will never allow that to become a cycle in my life. And going even beyond that, become an advocate for those whose pain you recognize

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now, become an advocate for those whose pain you recognized, I think it was two or three weeks ago, we talked about invisible wounds and how the profits by selling could recognize certain, you know, indicators of pain, because the Prophet Sly Stone had gone through that pain himself.

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If you see someone in pain, or going through what you're going through being mistreated in the way that you were mistreated, then become an advocate for that person, you know, and actually take that and take the pain of being abused, the pain of being slandered the pain of being wrong, the pain of being oppressed and say, you know, I'm not going to be silent when I see someone else being oppressed or slandered or wronged or whatever it may be. I don't like the way that I was mistreated, and I don't like the way this person is being mistreated. And there's an institutional component to this to that I found that some of the most transformative people in you know the work against

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depression, whatever

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type of oppression that is often our people that were victims of the type of the oppression that they're fighting on behalf of others now, and that activated something inside of them. And so the lesson is that the reward in the Hereafter is great for someone who bore a trial of this world with patience, the reward in the Hereafter is great for someone who bore a trial. In this world with patience, the reward in the Hereafter is even greater for those who then help others overcome trials of similar magnitude in this world with patients. So it's one reward to,

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to respond with Exxon to respond with excellence, when something comes your way. And to say that, you know, I'm not going to wrong in return, I'm not going to do counterrevolution, nor will I wronged others and the way that I was wronged. It's another level to say, I'm going to become an advocate. For those who are wronged in a similar way, the first one gives you the reward of the hereafter because Allah fills the gap. The second one is when you are in the cause of someone else who has been wronged with a pain that you can recognize and a lot is in the, in the in the in the cause of his servant, so long as that servant is in the cause of his brother or a sister. And so you

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could take that reward of holding yourself and of making sure that you learn from those that mistreats you not to mistreat others. And you could also become an advocate for those that are mistreated in similar ways. And that's double the reward in the hereafter. We pray that a loss of parents I protect us from wrongdoing or being wronged and we pray that Allah Subhana Allah use us in the service of those who are wronged along I mean, desikan little Hayden said I want to go into law here life