Channel: Omar Suleiman
went to see a llama Sunday was sending robotic arm decoders with a call Mohammed in Salalah in southern only he was funny it was an interesting and cathedra first and foremost Forgive me for drinking this in front of you all shook Mohammed brought this for me as a gift. So apparently this is the famous place the coffee bean and he said I can't leave without having one of these and this is the most incredible
coffee slash whatever it is that I've ever had in my life so it's it's pretty good you guys should be proud of that.
I'm very happy to be here. Do I have to spend mine podium by the way i can I move
I can move around. Okay, so if it's okay with you all this I don't feel constricted I'll try not to make you work too much on Charlottetown
I'm very happy to be here come did a lot of ramen let me just say off the bat Mashallah, what an impressive community that you guys have. What an impressive community and humbly nonagon mean that everything is
I was just about talking about everything is so organizing someone but everything has so organized.
Or I thought it was until just now.
I have never in my entire traveling around the country seen a message thus to this detail with every single little thing that's from brother Adams expensive planning Allah subhanaw taala reward him and the Allah subhanaw taala grant him the highest level of gentlemen Shahla to chef Mohammed's hospitality to everyone's just pure organization. And it's very impressive and you should all feel very blessed to be part of this community. 100 inaudible I mean, I'm actually very envious.
Most massages that you go around the country the speaker system doesn't work properly.
You know, whenever you fly into a place you got to figure out everything on your own.
They don't book you in a cheap motel and then you have to fight for reimbursements of hotels and stuff like that. So from the treatment of the mountains is terrible usually, to the quality of the sound system to the attendance everyone is very late and Mashallah, we're starting. We said seven o'clock, right. Seven o'clock. Seven o'clock was the start timer that was just pizza and socializing. Pizza, where's the pizza?
You didn't offer me Okay, I take I take it back with the hospitality thing. I didn't get any pizza.
So, but Mashallah, everything has been wonderful, handled and outlined. I'm very happy to be here. Now, the topic, and yes, I did choose the title, I didn't make the title up, or I didn't plagiarize the title.
I'm gonna be chewing on I'm going to be chewing on a pizza while you guys are watching me.
But the title, endless devotion. Remember those who remembered you?
Brother Adam wanted a good title. So I tried to give them a good title. Otherwise I would just call it sugar or loyalty or fat or you know, just use the standard title. But I know how from the way that chef Mohammed for ki stands up and starts this popular, I can tell that nothing is done ordinary here. So, but basically the title of sugar. And the title of Sukkot though, is not your typical lecture about sugar. Why? Because we're not going to be talking about sugar to Allah subhanho wa Taala, necessarily, okay, when usually when you think of sugar, you think of being grateful to Allah subhanho wa Taala. But rather showing gratitude to people who have done good for
you in your life, the people that were there for you throughout your life, okay, showing gratitude towards them. And I know because I always like to browse through the previous lectures that are done on a method to make sure that I don't duplicate anyone, anyone else's topic. So I know that shift, Mohammed recently gave a talk something in regards to so called reflections on Libya and those types of things, but if I'm not mistaken, that was more along the lines of Sukkot to a last kind of time. All right.
Being grateful for what we have been thankful for the situation that we're in, was it along the lines of that? Or you guys don't remember? It was along the lines of being grateful to Eliza was incorrect. So tonight, I want to shift it to a different focus. And the first Hadeeth and this will kind of set the basis for it. Were Some of us have a lot of our names, some of them says men Yes, Quran Aslam. Yes. karela. Whoever is not grateful to people is not truly grateful to a lot of people
What's the meaning of that? Howdy is very, very, very profound. Okay? And it's also true although the Hadith is not such but if we were to switch it around and I'll explain how if we were to say then yes karela lamb yes good enough whoever does not thank Allah is not grateful to Allah will not be grateful to people is also true. Okay? Now let's first take a look at this and try to analyze it as critically as possible. Number one what was the goal of say font in the Quran? What is the end goal of say font it's to make people are ungrateful. Okay, say lawn says when you do a thorough home shock eating, you will find that most of them are not going to be grateful people. Okay, then a loss
of Hannon was out of such shape on was right, right? Where what I do
a lot of those so St. Paul was telling the truth where
what kalila maneri values shocker, and very few of my servants are grateful people. Okay, I want you to think very, very deeply about the safe lawn says that after all this data of mine, after my coming to them from the right and from the left after my swing them here, swing them there after all of this. The end goal is that they will not be grateful people. And a loss of Hannah horchata is telling shape one from then he's going to be successful in that aspect. Most people are very ungrateful people. Most people will be disconnected from gratefulness. And from a standpoint with a loss of Hannah horchata. The moment that you separate gratefulness from your gratefulness from your
worship is the moment that your evaluable starts to lose its feeling will start to lose its taste when you stop praying out of gratefulness. Okay, when you stop praying, when you stop fasting out of out of gratefulness, when you stop being a good person out of gratefulness, once you disconnect sugar from your father, you have a problem.
But now let's take it to gratitude towards human beings and remembering those who remembered you.
Yes, it's true. Whoever is not grateful to people will not be grateful to Allah subhana wa Tada. And what's so interesting is that Stefan made the oath that you would find that most of them are ungrateful people and Allah Subhana Allah said, What Kadena mineralia Sucre and very few of my servants are grateful allies of a judge did not specify ungrateful to him, but they would be ungrateful people that this would be a characteristic a trait that they would have when we talk about human beings now, being grateful and ungrateful to human beings. I said that the opposite also holds true. Men Yes, could we learn them? Yes Could in us, whoever is not grateful to Allah subhanho
wa Taala will not be grateful to people. And he might want to play in Rahim, Allah, he mentioned something very important in this regard. If a person is not grateful to Allah subhanho wa Taala. First and foremost, we know from this Hadith, you can't separate the two. Okay? You're either a grateful person with everyone, or you're ungrateful to everyone. There is no partial gratefulness in that regard. You can't have one without the other. And the moment he Mohan mentioned something very significant that the one who is not grateful to Allah subhanho wa Taala will treat every single relationship in dunya, like a business contract. What does that mean? Essentially, when you form a
friendship, or you have a relationship with someone, the goal of that relationship from your perspective is to gain as much from that person while giving them the least responsibility. Think about it. Okay, if you have a friend, and that friend, usually we form relationships on the basis and this is very shallow, but this is what we're talking about shallow people, okay, this person might be able to get something done for me today. We don't form relationships or we don't treat people with with courtesy based upon, you know, their their status. Indeed, we don't treat them but you know, and for example, a person who has no connection to Deen whatsoever who has nasty
character, but who has some connections in the city, when he walks into a Muslim gathering. Everyone's going to stand up and say Salaam Rahmatullah kick holla coffee wherever you
Okay, it's my fault.
I was talking about the speaker system being my fault. So let me see if I spent here it'll be okay.
Okay, am I talking too long, by the way? Okay. All right. So I just want to make sure to show all the time. So when that person walks into a gathering, everyone treats him with a certain level of respect. Why? Because although I don't like his
character, at the end of the day, if I'm in trouble, if I get in trouble with the authorities, I know that I'm going to be able to call this guy so I better be nice to him. Right. And if you have a friend in dunya, even if that person is very close to you, again, this is the shallow definition. When that friend becomes draining upon you, it doesn't matter what he's done for you in the past, eventually, you're gonna get sick of answering the phone, you're gonna be like, I don't need this. This is not benefiting me. Okay, so in a way our relationships become like insurance companies seriously, I want maximum benefit from you, while giving you minimum responsibility, while giving,
at least from my perspective, I don't want to give you much I want to benefit from you. The minute that the scale tips the other way, I'm going to try to distance myself from that relationship. And somehow not think about this in regards to Paris. You know, I say this all the time, especially brothers and sisters, who are just raising kids who are just, you know, new to this whole parenting thing. I'm new to the parenting thing too, by the way. So I asked her last time not to test me with my words. But it's very important for us to understand the best way to have children that will love and respect you, when you get older, and that will treat you well. And that will be grateful to you
is to make them grateful to Allah subhanho wa Taala. When you raise your children upon the what else is going to make them treat you well whenever you get older. Otherwise, if they if they're not grateful to Allah subhanaw taala if they're not thinking of Allah as origin, then you're just going to be a burden on them, you're just going to be dead weight, they're not going to want to be around you anymore. You're draining them. Now. They've already got the car from you, they've already went off to college, they've already been you put them on their own two feet. Now that they're set on their own two feet, they don't want you anymore, they don't need you anymore, and happens a lot with
parents. Right? And that's why Allah subhanho its Allah says, Well,
don't be amused. Don't be fascinated by their wealth and by their children, why you read the wall, and you as leader whom we have a lot of candidates out of desires to punish them with that. Think about this. The brothers and sisters who will neglect Islamic education in their homes who will neglect Colombia, who will neglect raising their children and raising themselves at the same time upon 911 Lola who will themselves not be grateful to Allah subhana wa tada and will not teach the teach their children in the same way, who will invest so much time into getting them first class education, who will make sure that they're spoiled rotten, that you drive the best car when you get
older, that you have everything at your disposal? What does that benefit when the child then turns around that 18 and says shut up that I'm a grown man now. benefit is you nothing. So the best way to have children who will treat you well is to raise them to be dutiful to Allah subhanho wa Taala because as remember Chi Rahim Allah said the opposite of the Hadith holds true also Rasulullah sallallahu said when done Yes, Quran, Aslam, escuela whoever does not think people does not think a lot, whoever is not grateful to Allah will not be grateful to people, he will forget you, your child would forget you. Why? Because you're a burden now. And we think like insurance companies, sometimes
we become that shallow. So I want to talk about the brothers and sisters specifically, being grateful to human beings. And before I do that, I'll mention the general categorization of sugar. Because it's important to understand there are three categories of sugar. Three ways of expressing gratefulness Can anyone tell me try to be interactive, please?
How do you be a great How do you think someone? action is one? Okay. A shoe could be jawara shoe could be jawara, the scholars of Tesco colic, Sue could have been grateful with your lens, literally with your accents. What else?
With your heart a super blue collar to mean your gratefulness. Okay, when you say thank you to someone, it's heartfelt. what's the what's the other one? sisters should know this very well. What do women always complain about from their husbands?
Good speaking speech, Elisa, and a sugar release on. Okay. These are the three categories that make up sugar. All right. And it's important to mention even whenever we start breaking down the categories of being grateful to people why? Because sugar is so comprehensive, right? sugar coated in the Arabic language. Who can tell me what it means. shutout off. Anyone know what it means? shellcode in the Arabic language is the opposite of
literally it's the antonym of Khufu. Okay, Cofer is to conceal something Kufa is to disbelief and whenever you say Kufa in the Arabic language does not necessarily mean this belief in Allah subhanho wa Taala to deny something that you know is there. Okay. So it's to come
Seal something right? Sugar on the other hand, listen to the beautiful meaning of it in the Arabic language. You know, if someone comes to me like if chef Mohammed for example, and the sister May Allah reward her people are, you know, coming and giving me pizza and then giving you a drink? Let's say that someone went outside and I'm not suggesting this by the way, and got two boxes of pizza and started stuffing my mouth with pizza. And while my mouth is full of pizza, I said,
Okay, I would say in the Arabic language, checkout, checkout, which means stop, you've done too much. Think about this. Stop. You've done too much. This is the way that the auto used to use the word Sucre. Check out. Okay, so sugar in the Arabic language means extra. Okay, so we're not talking about when we talk about loyalty only. Okay, that's why I lost my hands on it is so cool.
No matter how much you do for the sake of a loss of happiness, either. Can you give him what he gives you? No, never. Okay, so it's extra. Okay. So when you do things for people that are extra, then you are being a grateful person, then you are being so cool. Okay, and allies is a shackle. Then we talk about these three categories a shocker. First and foremost.
You have to mean your gratefulness. You have to mean your thanks to someone. It has to be heartfelt, right? And parents would know the difference. For example, when you when you have to tell your child to go do the dishes. And as you know, as opposed to if the child does the dishes on his own accord, right? The difference of the feeling that you would have when that happens is incredible. Even if he did a lousy job without without you having to tell him you will appreciate it because it's heartfelt. Okay, so sugar is worthless if it's not from the heart. Okay, so first and foremost, a sugar a bit of color. Secondly, a sugar a bit Lisa. Okay, to actually be grateful and express
gratefulness. Okay, now I know for in our cultures, this is something that's considered if this is something that's considered shameful is to say, I love you. And thank you, sweetie. And these types of things. And this is this is generally frowned upon as Western culture. Right? This is something that you guys got from the west and, and I don't need to do this. And I don't need to do that. And people refuse to speak in a nice way. Okay. Now in regards to a loss of hand without a look how important a shoe could have been, the sound is also lost. And the explanation of the last I have sort of Doha will not be near material because I had asked for the bouncing of your Lord than speak
of it then mentioned it was almost upset at the head of the spinner Mattila, he shook. What Turku had
to speak of the bouncy of a loss of habitat upon you is gratefulness. And to abandon it is disbelief. That's how significant it is with a loss of habitat. Now, how about with people? Okay, no matter how much you do, and no matter how much you mean, sometimes if it's not expressed, there is no shame in thanking a person. Okay? There is no shame in being sweet with your talk. This is what was what was so lost. I said it was someone who was frequently he was always thankful with his tongue. Okay, having the sweet tongue is very, very, very important. Especially and this is sometimes brothers and sisters struggle with it and marital affairs, especially. And sometimes
children who grow up in this culture who are used to the, to the fantasize, you know, hollywood lifestyle, you know, and all those things that you see on TV, they feel hurt by this, they feel a lack of compassion, because sweet words are not there. It's a very simple thing that you could add into your life. That an expression of your gratefulness. Okay, so I'm not necessarily just talking about the tongue and those types of things. You know, Pamela, just a few weeks ago, I had a couple and you know, that I was counseling. And the wife was complaining about the husband and really, the husband does a lot. He does a lot, but he never says anything nice to her. I mean, it's always just
business like, Okay, what do you want? I'll get you this. Alright, you want this go by? You know, he's such a rough person. So I said yeah, I think it wouldn't hurt every once in a while to be nice to her to speak nicely, you know, to say, I love you to her to bring flowers for her to show an expression. These things are not from Western culture, these things are from sydnor you know, so for example, one of the things in the mount naka de hakimullah democracy he said that to express love, okay to express affection in a way that's not inappropriate is from the universal law slice and and where in whatever fashion it is, so it changes in that regard. So you know, the idea of kissing on
the cheek every time you walk into the house and those types of things, expressions of love, expressions of gratitude, this is sin. Also last night
I've never walked into the house of one of his daughters without first kissing them without first embracing them expressions of love and these types of things. So I told the guy, you should buy some flowers every once in a while. And somehow, like, three days later, the woman calls out she never sees this video. I hope it's the woman calls me and she's just literally broken. And I'm saying what's wrong? What's wrong? And she's, she's, she's.
So she's, she's like breathing really hard and talking about he bought me flowers. And I was like, Okay, that's good. I bought me flowers. But the problem is, is that he came in with the flowers and he threw him out and he said, Here you happy?
I gave him see you.
Tell us he never watches this video, don't publicize this video. So it defeated the purpose completely.
I talked to the guy and he was like he was like Shawshank almost. What do you want from me? I bought her what she wanted.
You completely missed the point. So sometimes being grateful with the tongue expressions of gratefulness, okay? expressions of gratefulness are very, very significant. And this is not just between husband and wife. This is from child's parent, this is from parents to children. Okay, this is the brothers and sisters. This is generally speaking, expressing your gratefulness is extremely important. Okay. The third thing is action. Actions speak louder than words and yes, actions, you know, a shoe could have been jawara. This is the most important thing. Definitely, this is the most important thing. Right, but you take it within the comprehensive understanding of sugar. And a lot
of brothers and sisters with you know, a lot of brothers and sisters would say, well, we do a lot. We do a lot, right? But we just don't know how to express it. Okay, so hamdulillah the court matters there, but you need to beautify it with expression. And it's more important to have the action there than the expression acting in a graceful manner. Okay? Sometimes expressions are empty, okay? And empty expressions hurt more than actions that aren't represented by expression, okay? or actions that aren't beautified with expression? Okay. Now you added sugar last prioritizing for an act or work or people that would have family of their own in a grateful manner. Okay, so you have to act in
a grateful manner. Also, it's extremely important in that regard. Now, let's break it down to the life of Hemet. sobre la hottie was on well, so la sala la Hollywood Santa is the ideal example of a person who was gracious not just in the sense of of his of his everyday demeanor. Okay. We obviously know from the from the aspect of very valid to a lot of parents I love worship. So a lot of parents either he's constantly thinking Allah subhanaw taala, but not just from that aspect, but when do you hear about a soloist, I saw him complaining about his clothes or complaining about his food or complaining about, you know, some situation he never complained. Okay, so he was a very grateful
person, and a very gracious person in his character Salalah Hardy was on him. But I want to talk about specifically the weight loss ice and I'm dealt with the important people in his life. Okay, and one of the important things from from the hadith of gibreel and Islam is advising Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. The authentic hadith to determine the degree is ineligible, given us some advice outside of his capacity of the messenger from Allah subhanho wa Taala, meaning Jabra Islam, so outside of the capacity of Ye, and one of those is welded mesh, it camelphat equal, love who you will, but you're going to eventually be split from that person. Okay, but one of the important
meanings of that date is to prioritize your relationships in life. Okay, to prioritize your relationships in life, first and foremost, there was probably no human being who did more for us a little less a little lahardee with someone without complaining more than Khadija will be a low tide on Khadija law, the law is just that special. And she's so special that Allah subhanaw taala sends jabril is amazing. I mean, imagine this, okay, now many times the wife, the wives of Imams, and the people that are that are busy for, you know, in the path of a loss, they struggle, and eventually, rightfully so sometimes they crack, you know that you're not giving us enough time or those types of
things a lot of moms struggle with this a lot of guys struggle with is trying to balance, family life and these types of things. Look at her these are the last time she was the most well, she was so wealthy. She was so wealthy that she could sponsor the entire household and she could sponsor she was literally at one point the only financial source of the Dow and also was on the loan. It was okay, she had everything. And at the same time she had noble status at the same time. I mean, think about this. And let's think about the human aspect of this because sometimes we forget that the companions were human beings. Think about the human aspect of this
All of a sudden muscle loss Isom starts this call. And as a dignified woman who was 15 years older to my husband, I lose my noble status in the sense that now you know we're looked at as the low people of society we're about to go through a boycott, we go through boycotting these types of things. All of our money has gone out all of our wealth is gone. All the headache that comes the emotional headache that comes whenever your husband comes home bruised up and with marks on him and these types of things having to be there for us who was on the line was set up. Think about the human aspect of this the human drain that must have came upon her the job of the allowance Allah.
She never complains. Even to the point that she died of malnutrition because of the boycott that came as a result of the dollar muscle loss Isom she never complained. And there was no person that will seamlessly settle appreciated more than her anytime she was mentioned. or full last, Iceland's face would completely change. Anytime we also lost a salon, got some food in his house or some gifts he would constantly send to her friends, just out of his remembrance of her he was looking at the loyalty but also was listening to her. Right. And it was even to the point that whenever her sister Hannah, would come and call upon Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam I saw the low Anna describes the
scene. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Automatically he's reclining he jumps up, he gets up right away. And he says a lot Mahalla along the Hello Oh Allah. Allah Oh Allah tala. He used to remember the voice of Khadija. Well, the law of Thailand through the mouth of Allah. And he would rush to go see what she wants. And I saw the Aloha Anna describes it from her perspective. You know that I was never I was never jealous over any of the lives of Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam the way that I was jealous a condition of the law.
And I never saw her before. Some kind of law. I never met her before, but I was more jealous of her than any of the muscle muscle to Lavanya Salah so one day she decided to test the messenger sallallahu wasallam
and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was remembering Khadija will be lavonne so I saw the love on her says what? headcanon illa Jews and Basilica la vida minha Wasn't she just an old woman that Allah subhanaw taala gave you better than her? She pushed the wrong button.
So awesome Allah it was solemn. The hair on his head stood up. Think about how angry he was his face turned red.
And he now at this point in a small slice, and I'm really cannot benefit much from a marital perspective by talking about the dead wife, right? If anything, he's to convince the live wife that I don't care about her anymore. But look at the loyalty of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Well, my mother Delany a lot of hate on her. Oh, viola, did God give me better than her? And also last I saw him starts to mention her favorites. Think about this subtle cotney It could have been enough. She believed in me. Now I want it to be if capital will be enough. She believed in me when people disbelieve that when people just believed in me, she considered to be truthful. She
believed me when other people called me a liar. She spent on me in harmony and us when other people refuse to spend on me. And this is one thing that I want all of the brothers to pay specific attention to because we're going to start with the brothers in that regard. What does up money alone? Well, it
is how many Allah Nisa Allah subhanaw taala blessed me with children through her and he did not give me children through any other woman.
I want you to think about this, your brothers and sisters, okay for moments, but let's just mention very quickly, how much time do I have, by the way?
till nine, I stopped at nine. Okay, I'll stop at nine. So I need to just speed up a little bit. I know that I'm kind of blabbering on I want to get to the point of these things. Well, so last Isilon love these all the loved one has so much and this is just one more story that I just have to mention because it truly is so heartwarming. I want you to imagine this. So some muscle A lot of it was to them in the Battle of budget.
One of the prisoners that he had was who oblasts who was the husband of his daughter is 18 have been to Mohammed Salah lahardee was gonna model the alarm on the daughter of Khadija and she sends to the solar solar lahardee will send them because a lot of lost was fighting against the messenger sallallahu wasallam. He buckled through the peer pressure from the other side. And she sends to the solar solar law it was the necklace of Khadija will be alone to ransom her husband. And also la sala artemisinin looks at this necklace and his entire facial expression changes He's full of tears and panela the
is reminding him it's painful memory of his wife for these will be a lot of time. And he's looking at it. And he says to the Sahaba, if you wish you can free her prisoner and give her back the necklace. I love the gratefulness of a soulless isonzo Khadija on the lawn, it never went away. He always was grateful to her. Okay. And this would bring me to my first point because we're going to categorize this show called gratitude between husband and wife. Okay, specifically speaking, and I specifically want to emphasize the last portion, okay, that Allah subhanaw taala blessed me with children through her. And he did not bless me with children through anyone else. First and foremost,
this is to the brothers. You know, we have to think about this, you know, Sheikh Mohammed was speaking about this, I don't want to spill too many I'm not gonna spill too many beans, but he was talking about starting a project to show appreciation to our wives. Okay, in that regard, a lot of wisdom gives you this wife, and this woman gives birth to your children. She gives you a piece of you. And you still have the nerve to abuse her either mentally or physically, or emotionally. And it's it's interesting. So how long because also last Isla mentioned this mentions this favorite specifically. And this was not just something that was Muslim a lot. It was seldom mentioned in the
Sahaba did not take it seriously. I would follow the law of Thailand. A man once comes to him and says, You know, I think I don't want to divorce my wife. Um, it'll be a low I will says Why? He says she's just not attractive to me anymore. You know, what all the law says?
Where's your courtesy, a notary higher. Where's your courtesy? Where's your courtesy, meaning what? Allah subhanaw taala gives you children through this woman. This is the woman that takes all of your garbage when you go home, and you just you vent out because of whatever you had at work. And then you still have the nerve to be rude to this person. And to deny that this person had a had a huge part in your life. This is not from the son of the messengers, the lion he was you have to recognize that. And so Pamela, this is another situation that I dealt with that boiled me. I remember a brother once complaining to me, he says that my wife doesn't do enough to take care of herself. I
said, and I know that's a common complaint. And by the way, everything is with balance, right? Men and women, husband and wife to try to keep in shape for each other should try to keep attractive for each other as to keep their gazes restricted from other people. This is a fact. But again, the aspect of courtesy, and unlike Didn't your wife just have a baby? And he says, Yeah, I said how long ago, two months ago, like your wife just had a baby two months ago, and you're coming in complaining about her appearance.
So a lot of times, you know, a lot of brothers, we have to think about this. And we'll say she just doesn't do it for me anymore. I'm just not attracted to her anymore. She's you know, if anything, she might have lost her shape because of us. You're the one that got her pregnant in the first place. Being grateful to your wife is something that also lost my son teaches us through the example of Elisa will be a lot of time. Now I can shift my attention. So the sisters, brothers ignore everything that I'm about to say.
And I hope that no one uses these things against each other. But also the last item also mentioned it on the other side. Right. Well, so last I sent him once when he was admonishing the women also last lesson and said in only a quorum. Verily, the disbelief. Now again, the word Khufu, and Islam is balanced. Islam is balanced. So the males have the status was a lot harder than the other. So the law or our woman Kfar or our women could find a solo slice and M says no in the home yet for the last year. Okay. They disbelieve in the good that you do towards them. Meaning what and this is the exact example that also loss is and I'm sad that sometimes and this happens a lot between husband
and wife. I'm not saying it's Everybody, please no one throw a piece of pizza at me or anything like that. Okay, or a chair that would hurt. But I'm not saying everybody. But think about this. So some law sorry, someone said that you would do so much good. And then one mistake and the answer is I've never seen any good from you.
Sometimes women use this as a tactic against men. I know because I'm the man in my community. And I've seen this many times. You've never done this for me. You've never done that for me. You've never done that. I hear the word never. I mean from from from the sisters in my community more than anything else. I'm like, come on, never, never, you know. So you would deny everything because of one misstep and that and unfortunately what that does is that fuels the other side and then that's where Stefan works his magic. Right? So it's also important for the sisters, sometimes Minar sometimes we're idiots. Sometimes we mess up, okay, and it's important from the sisters and
Not to deny every good thing that the husband does based upon this one mistake and said, I've never seen any good fruit from you. You've never treated me well. You've never taken me out. you've noted the sister, didn't you just go to Disney World or something like that? You've never done this. The word never your current avinashi. Very, very, very important. Okay? So to keep this in mind from both from both sides, to be grateful to one another as husband and wife is crucial, and we see it from Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam the perfect balance, the perfect balance in that regard. Okay, so that's the first thing. The second thing is generally speaking, okay, when someone has done
something for you, okay, a friend, a brother, a sister, a companion, someone was there for you more than anyone else.
I want you to imagine the scene with Russell allamani with someone who is the most beloved person to listen listen ally. So
I saw the line who next
Abu Bakr Siddiq will be a long time I also lost my son loved abubaker on the line who so much. And this is an incident that happened between Abu Bakr Siddiq or the law and it'll be a long time. And they had an argument and I will record hertz awmac. He said something wrong. So Omar and Amara viola, who became upset from above Beckett. Now listen to the story of who that kid was in the wrong or was in the right, but on the other one who went to his house, I will vacuum sought forgiveness almost said I don't want to forgive you. Okay. He didn't want to hear it. He was upset at that time. I will record Nicola Hahn, who went to the homeless a lot while he was on them, to say to the sama,
sama lava and he was solemn not to complain about all the law on how to say yellow so a lot I wronged Alma.
And I'm trying to get him to forgive me. And he's seeking advice from the messengers of the law while he was still him. While he's seeking advice from the messenger sly Southern what happens here comes on. All the alojado is coming to Tel Aviv working all day long. I know that he forgives him while he's coming in. The league is talking to us in Las Vegas number a similar size and looks at all metal the low angle and his face becomes red. He's so angry and Rebecca knows muscle loss Isilon so he falls on his knees and he says to the solar solar wind, he was telling ya rasulillah I was the one who wronged him. I was the one who wronged him. Don't blame him. I was the one who wronged him
and I'll be alone who was coming to apologize that will blacklisted the for the Alon. And listen to the loyalty again from Rasulullah sallallahu. wasallam says to Amaro the law of Thailand, that whenever I came with this message, all of you called me a liar except for aboubaker. All of you called me a liar except for aboubaker and toontastic et CIE, are you going to leave my companion alone? Are you going to leave my companion on? He said, it's all out on the Aloha Tada, Uncle three times. Are you going to leave my companion alone? Pamela, he never forgot to study for the allotted time. And in fact, even at the time of his death when his death is approaching, and the Sahaba had
their dates to the massages, and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, relieve me of all of these gates, close all these gates to the message, except for the gate of Abu Bechet. Anyone who has done anything for us. We have repaid him except for a bucket, we were never able to repay him. Look at the loyalty. So Pamela, we tend to forget the people who helped us in our times of need, I'm not talking about specifically your parents or your husband or your wife right now. Generally speaking, there were brothers who were there for you, there were sisters who were there for you at least have the decency to constantly call them and check up on them. Show them that you appreciate when they
were there for you. It's not that once you get up on your feet, once you're established in all these types of things, you forget what they've done for you. Being grateful to the people that helped you, in your times of need the people that supported you emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, when no one else was willing to support you. This was the character of a soloist on the La Jolla Silla and I'll mention one more story and then inshallah Tada, I want to go on to another topic that's very quickly inshallah I'll try to finish by nine o'clock.
But also, as I said, I'm in the Battle of five.
He sees a woman coming towards him from the prisoners of thought. And I want you to imagine the scene. And this woman comes to this last line sentiments she says, I am your sister. Through breastfeeding, I'm your foster sister. And also lots of allies known as astonished, and she shows the soul muscle allamani was selling the bite marks of rasulillah slicer on her back when was the last slice and it was a child. Who was this woman woman.
lavon, the daughter of who Halima Saudia, the daughter of Halle mesangium, and she shows us all a slice on the bite marks when he was a child. She was older than him. And also la sala la vida, he was Solo is so humbled by this experience, he takes off his garments. And he lays it on the ground. And he offers her to sit on it. And he goes on, he starts and he rushes to get camels for her and horses and things to give her. And also los isonem says, if you want, then you could stay with me and you will be honored and dignified or you can be sent back to your people and you'll be honored and dignified, whatever you want commandment. Whatever you want from Think about this, this is
statesmen Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and this is now a woman who's a prisoner. And look at the weight loss and loss Lyceum is treating her. Remember those who remembered you know, specifically speaking, who are the people that have done most for us and we don't appreciate it.
Who our parents, our parents, there is no substitute for that. no substitute for that for what our parents have done for us. And I want you to think about this Allah Subhana which Allah says, what was slain al Insan. The well the day he aksana hamdulillah to
Quran Allah Quran, Warhammer who will follow Salah funa Chava had Bella Bella or buying the Sunnah kohlrabi I was there any an escort or near meta kalithea naantali ohana one day one our MLS Lonnie hands on walk while asleep Lee feasel realty in me took to eleiko in the middle Muslim. This is a beautiful idea and sort of off. I believe I am number 23 years or 15. Allah subhanho wa Taala says In this ayah listen to it. And we have commanded who not the believer. We have commanded and insan will not assume el insano Ignalina see he was not named insaan except for his forgetfulness. We have reminded this forgetful creation. We have entrusted him with his parents to treat them with
excellent conduct hemella to
corringham his mother held him in pain loss parents Allah describes the struggle of the mother in different ways in the Quran. Allah, his mother held him is in pain, she conceived him in pain. She delivered him in pain, how not to Cora wa to call her. She carried him in pain. She delivered him in pain. And then he went through what happened what was his father who said that Luna Shahada, his pregnancy in the breastfeeding period went through for 13 months until he reaches maturity and he reaches 40 years old. Then what happens whenever he gets mature, he figures it out. And he says labios in an escort and aromatic and Lottie anantha Allah Allah Allah de O Allah, give me the
opportunity Give me the effort or give me the ability to be grateful to you for your blessing and because of my parents,
what an hour metal sorry, ham tala and to do good deeds that you will be pleased with. And now what's he thinking of us lately? He's a reality. He's seen now the struggle because you don't see what your parents went through until What? Till you become parents, until you're being kept up all night, until you're going and chasing around that little booger and you don't have your time anymore either. Right? And so your life has become your child, then you figure it out. If you are a person of even half dignity, if you are a half decent person, you figure it out. So you start to ask Allah Subhana Allah to bless you with your children with your own offspring. And you repent to Allah
subhanho wa Taala and you declare that you are one of the Muslims. What is so amazing about this, there is no human being who has done more for you than your mother. And I know that especially the sisters can quote all that Hadith about the mother. But for some, for some reason, they just don't resonate. Sometimes we just don't get it sometimes. So I want to look at practical examples, and assume loss Isilon tells us about the story of Julie's, who used to pray all the time,
who used to always just worship Allah subhanaw taala. And his mother would call upon him to do things for him, and he would say, I'm busy in my worship. And he kept on answering I'm busy and my worship. I mean, imagine this. And his mother says to him, what I hope you don't die until you meet a Lavinia until you meet the prostitute. And he didn't understand that at that point. But what is the lust parents how to do allies or tell sons, a prostitute with a child and she says he's the father. Think about that. Because he was busy with his mother and he was
answering his mother to go feed the chickens. Think about that. It sounds silly. But here's the thing.
When you call upon your mother as a child because you needed to be fed Did she ever say no? No. Did she ever say I'm busy doing my salon? Never didn't happen. You know zenoah Aberdeen earlier the same only a lot of times what Rahim Allah the great grandson of Las Las Vegas Allah had a beautiful example when he used to eat with his mother. And his mother would would be eating from the same planet as him. He would refuse to eat until she finished eating. And she would say, oh my son, why aren't you eating and he says, I'm afraid that I would look at something that I would eat something that you had your eye on. I don't want to eat something that you were looking at, and deprive you of
that food. Why? Because when you were a child, if your mother has a slice of pizza,
and you have and she's had nothing to eat for the entire day, right, she's starving and this slice of pizza gets presented and this little baby comes and this little baby has been eating all day right and loves cookies, chips everything that you can possibly imagine paper towels and sand off of the beach and everything that came in his hand or her hand and then you're about to take a bite of that pizza I'm not gonna do an actual demonstration although I'm really tempted to and then the baby goes
what's gonna happen
she's gonna take a piece and she's gonna put it in the bit she's gonna feed the baby she never would have responded with no and whenever the man comes to have the love nominal the law and what Some say it's authentic love Norma some says mother for total suicide salah and he says y'all assume Allah I carry my mother online back
for the entire Hajj. This is before you had the cool tiles and you had the AC and you had the the mecca Hilton and this is before all of that. This is when it was so hot. That you know the people that you know my father lived in Medina and the 50s. And he was telling me when you had your literally your feet or you're constantly moving your feet because your your feet are burning from the stone. And he says the auto school law I carried my mother on my back for the entire hedge or Yeah, Tom de la Modelo hotel. Have I repaid her what was the answer but also lost them? When that'd be fun. Quintin wahida, not even with a single cry that she had in labor. She carried you for nine
months, you carry her for 100. And you think it's over?
Pamela, we are so ungrateful to our mothers in the time of marriage. And this is something that I know it's a controversial topic, it needs a lot of explanation. And it needs a lot of elaboration. Everything is balanced, please, we're talking about it from one perspective. Now. Brother, a and sister B want to get married. They already formed the relationship outside of the marriage. And then they come to their parents and they say, Mom, Dad, I want that person.
And the mom has a legitimate excuse. Or the mom just doesn't feel too comfortable. And you say, Mom, I don't care what you say, I'm a grown man, and I'm gonna marry her anyway. You're willing to sacrifice a relationship that started with your existence in this dunya for 2530 years, for a person that you just met the other day through MSA or through Facebook, or whatever it is, you're willing to get rid of that you're willing to dissolve that relationship like that. Now, I'm not saying there isn't Islam times that the person can get married even without his parents approval that the brother and even if the sister if the will he does not have a sick, you know, legit excuse? Yes, there are
procedures. But marriage is about Sakina. Marriage is about tranquility. Think about this. I'm not talking about what's headed right now. What's legally permissible. I'm talking about think about it, you know, wake up, wake up and think about it for a minute. You're willing to sacrifice the relationship of your parents, for someone that came in caught your attention for a month or so.
That is the most ungrateful thing that you can do.
All right, and if you want to hear what our moms used to say, yes, and the mother baby mama got him a whole lot. It is legally permissible. And this is you know, through consensus for the man to marry without normally without his own. Really the man doesn't need a guardian. And for a woman if the will he does not have a legitimate excuse, perhaps in the method.
Of course the Hanafi madhhab He is not required. And the mother Atma Rahim Allah it's an easy procedure. Go to the salon present your case the salon sees that you don't have a legitimate excuse to stop this marriage. It's legally permissible. When did he get married?
He refused to get married until his mother died.
He refused. It's not like he was waiting for her to hurry up and die by the way. Not talking about that. He felt like he would not be able to do his duty.
towards her while being married at the same time. So and he didn't recommend this. It's not the son of the son as to get married as young as possible. But sometimes we go beyond the bounds of legality and we think about the essence of things. He said, I'm not going to get married while she's still alive. Legally permissible, it's silly, but I will not be able to be just with my mother.
Now what happens and go back to the statement of nominal Rahim Allah, whoever does not is not grateful to Allah, Allah will not be grateful to people, it's a business contract your parents get all
my courtesy to you is putting you in a nice nursing home. My courtesy to you is calling you every once in a while. But if you keep getting more demanding, I'm going to say How come my brother doesn't do it? How come my sister doesn't do it? Whenever you called upon your mom, when you were a child, Did she ever have that Liberty No.
One will call
your mother your mother your mother, the most important thing and then your father too will soon muscle a lot It was said I'm sending the Hadith from me who laid out all the alongside on that the only way that a father could repay his that a person could repay his father is through what? What would he have to do?
Who said it
to find him as a slave and to purchase his freedom.
It's the only way and also lost my son. I'm using the word wallet. Right. And some of the scholars they debated they said well it means parents it means mother or father. Okay? But the correct meaning is that it's just father, because you can really never repay your mother back. It's impossible. Why would my son um, use this terminology? Your father. And this is something that we we hear but we don't truly understand sometimes, especially with men, especially with men. Have you ever heard the statement more or less that the only person who wants you to have a better life than himself is your father, the only person your father actually wants you to live a better life than
him. So it also last night I said on the saying the only way you repay your father you find him a complete slave because he employs you with the tools in life. You find him as a complete slave and you give him your freedom otherwise you can never repay him.
But I want to come to one thing there's a lot of agenda mentioned the favors of the Father in the Quran.
That's he see, we know from the mother allies which I mentioned her labor pains the last kind of time dimensions all these things those alone mentioned the father
was slain in Santa Diwali day here at Santa hamato. Allah azza wa jal mentions the mother, there's a last time I mentioned what the father did for you know, why do you think that is? I'm not going to try to pull up a shipment on alikhan because Mashallah, He's incredible with linguistic Tafseer. So I'm gonna stick within my bounds when it comes to the meaning of own as regards to why he shifted on and explained it beautifully. Okay, that there is Wiley, Diwali de. And I'll just give a brief thing because I already opened the curiosity. I'm sure some of you may have heard it, but he did a very beautiful linguistic study of the difference between home and walidah. And why didn't an abbey okay
or ever? Whereas while it's unlikely, the mean father and mother on an ad also mean father and mother, but it's to a different degree of respect. Okay. What it is someone who gave birth to you, a father who can who was responsible for your birth, why does the mother who conceived you, but you have to earn an arm? You have to earn that title. Okay, so if a father leaves his child before he's even born, or he's even born, is he
No, he's not the egg but he's the one that's
what about the own there's a loss and penalty to command us to be good to Allah Wiley de or to your own and your
allies. Oh, Joe says what was seen in Santa be Whalley day he Santa. We enjoy him the person with a sign towards his father and his mother, his birth father, his birth mother. Meaning what if your father did absolutely nothing for you in life, you still have to be good to him. You can't complain. Then Allah just says have a lot more. His mother Helton, meaning she already earned the title of before you even delivered because she held you for nine months she went through all of that. Okay. And allies origin specifically mentions the pains of the mother. Why? Why is that? And this is something that that's that's very, very beautiful. In the language of the Quran. I'm not going into
the linguistic to see it. Why Allah azza wa jal mentions the favors of the mother. Whenever the son gets old, the daughter gets old and this and the Son and the daughter says, I want a car
and goes to the mom. What does the moms typically say?
Go ask your dad, you know, go talk to that guy.
It's not my call, usually the mother delegates, the role of authority to the Father. And usually the child treats the father with more respect than the mother. Why? Because my mom gets emotional, she cries too much. She's, you know, those types of things. Because we don't remember, we cannot possibly remember what it was like for our mothers to hold us, to carry us to give birth to us, we can't remember that. So naturally, we have a tendency to disbelieve in that, to have a sense of comfort of that, to deny it either with our tongues or with our actions, not or we don't appreciate it at all. So Allah subhanho wa Taala reminds us, your mother is the one that held you. She's the
one that delivers you in pain, and went through all of that. Never forget that woman. Never forget her. Never forget your father. Definitely, it's not to decrease the role of the Father. But we tend to forget things, we don't have very good sight of the past, we don't have very good insight we can't see very far in the past. We don't remember what it was like as babies until we have our own babies. And if we're half decent people again, then we think about it a little bit more. But especially your mother, you forget it more easily. So dear brothers and sisters, in conclusion of all of this,
don't always just look at things in front of you as they are. And don't just build your relationships on benefits and those types of things. Think about what people have done for you. Think about all of the people who have done things for you in your life. Maybe it's your mother, your father, your husband, your wife, your child, your brother, your sister, a friend, someone who is there for you. And if you do not show gratefulness to that person, you know what happens on the day of judgment? Allah subhanaw taala claims they're right. Okay. And especially when we think about marriage, for example, especially in marriage,
because this is I'm gonna just end on this note and shout lots out, where it's almost like, you know, a cat and mouse game sometimes. Right? I'm trying to remind you of how much I've done for you and trying to remind you of what a terrible spouse you are, either implicitly or explicitly so that you can so I can get better treatment from your side, more gratefulness from your side of the law of non vessel the law of Thailand.
One of the things that he used to do what was the meaning of the word shortcode? By the way?
Extra okay. Of Love non vessel the law on him before he used to get inside this house. What did he used to do?
No one knows us, and we're in trouble.
what it used to be. I'm hearing murmurs.
What did you used to do? You know what he used to do? He used to pull out his comb. He used to fix his clothes. He used to get all neat. It all pretty. Then he walks into the house.
Most of the time, what do we do in the house? When we get to the house? What do men do when we get what do we do when we get home?
You know, get down to our pajamas, whatever it is sit on the couch, I'm hungry. And
turn on the TV and ignore everybody in the house. None of that. And what is the woman look like? Usually whenever you get home, sorry, sorry, sisters.
I gotta be balanced. The she dressed up looking nice for you and those types of things and wearing her her nicest clothes and saying, Alan was Alinea. zoji
not really? You know, it's where have you been? You know, that sort of thing? Right? Like the typical the old movies? What do you think you are? So here's the problem. This guy was out. And you guys live in California. I mean, come on. This is the land of hollywood, hollywood, right? This is the lens of Hollywood. And you see these billboards and you see all these these woman flaunting everything that they've got, then you come home after lowering your gaze like you were supposed to.
And yeah, you know, and then on the opposite side, the husband that was supposed to be dreamy when he comes home and all those types of things. Because again, we're it's a fan, you know, all this fantasize culture and these types of things. And you see your husband and he's dressed terribly, and he looks like a mess. And his hair is all over the place. If he still has any, you know, his clothes are all over the place, and the shoes are all over the place and all this stuff is happening. And that automatically creates the wrong the wrong environment there. So I've loved my vessel yellow on him before he gets into his house, strains himself up, make sure that his hairs comb, make sure that
his beard is nice and clean, and everything like that. And what does he say? He says I like to look good for my wife just as I like her to look good for me.
And he says and listen to this very, very carefully. Can I have you to demonstrate something? Can I have you for a second? Please? Please, please don't be just coming.
For a second solid, you see this red line.
Okay? So he says that on the Day of Judgment, Allah subhanho wa Taala will ask a person about the rights of other people upon them and how they responded to those rights and how cool they have judgment is the day of Kirkuk. Okay. So I don't want to claim all of my rights from her, because I'm afraid that this is the red line of rights, okay, I'm afraid if I claim all of my rights from her, then Eliza was in is going to hold me accountable for stepping over the line. So I don't claim all of my rights from her. Because and think about it, if both the husband and the wife are claiming their rights, what's going to happen can come here for a second.
straight in front of me, you'll be standing like this. And if we were the same height we'd be face to face and it would be a lot of tension right now. Okay. And that's usually what happens in a marriage. So you take a step back, you don't claim all your rights, you can sit down. Thank you very much. You don't claim all your rights because you're afraid of a loss of Hannah which Allah on the Day of Judgment, so what do you do you give extra while claiming less because if there is any NOx, any deficiency on the other person's part, you'll be rewarded and but if there's any knocks on your parts, you're in trouble. So treat all of your relationships this way. I will treat my brother so
and so my sister so and so with more love and more respect regardless of what they do to me, my my wife, my husband with more love with more respect regardless why because I'm looking for the reward of a security the more the more extra I give, the more that will be given to me and whoever does not think people does not think Allah subhanaw taala and we also established tonight, whoever does not think a lot as a result does not think people inshallah Tada, I'll stop there. dessicant Lucha colocado stuff a lot of local desert love electricity miracle. I don't know if there's questions or we just go to Solano, Zach maracas panicle on behalf of the consider La Land to stop recording. So