Words That Last A Lifetime

share this pageShare Page
Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:08--> 00:00:09

hamdulillah

00:00:10--> 00:00:13

Al Hamdulillah he lives in Africa who want to start you know who want to start.

00:00:14--> 00:00:21

When he when he, when that rubella he mentioned Rudy and fusina woman CTR, Melina

00:00:22--> 00:00:59

when you have the Hello fellow mobile Allah woman you follow her the era when a shadow Allah ilaha illallah wa sallahu wa salli ala Moana shadow and now Mohammed Abdullah he was solo Allahu Allahu Allah Buddha dealhack uvlo who Allah DD wa kafa biLlahi shahida for Salalah alayhi wa seldom at the Sleeman, kathira and kathira and Marburg in the US Dhaka DC kita Bala, Hydra, Alhaji Mohammed and sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were in a Sharon moody Matata to Huawei Nicola modesetting beta wakulla Allah Allah, Allah Allah Allah.

00:01:01--> 00:01:06

Allah Allah azza wa jal kitabi Karim Nakula rubella Humana shaytani r rajim.

00:01:07--> 00:01:15

is calling us to fully be here in New York at a hydrogeological Kevin shumsa will camara into home Lisa Jean

00:01:16--> 00:01:35

Kalia buena Yella takasaki Aquatica que la Takeda in the shaytaan insomnia mubin okay Dolly kya de cada buka where you are limo come into Hadeeth Are you Timonium matter who eleiko earlier called coma at a mahila of awakening, Ibrahima was

00:01:36--> 00:01:53

in North America Hollywood Hakeem propitiously suddenly, when a silly Emily looked at me listening of Coco de la homophobic manga lo de la ilaha illa Allah, Allah homage and let me know, let me know, let me know Saudi has also been happy, whatever. So be submitted. I mean, a lot, I mean,

00:01:54--> 00:02:35

a lot. So just give us a remarkable story in the Quran, one of the most detailed accounts in the Quran of any prophet and that is the account of use of it. So many of you know an entire surah is dedicated, just the telling of his story. And that's like, unlike any other Prophet, where a single soldier will be dedicated to just telling their life account. But in this story, a lot of times we know of the events that took place, it's a very famous story, but we don't pay much attention to some of these very profound lessons that Eliza which has put inside of the story, one of the most incredible ions of the surah is that that kind of use of our equity, he only saw in that first for

00:02:35--> 00:03:15

certain use of in use of and his brothers, there are many miraculous signs and many lessons, if you will, many heavenly lessons for the people who ask questions. And the word sir, it also means people in need. So the word silent Arabic means this, these two Indian you know two groups meaning Yusuf Alayhi Salam and his brothers, you have a lot to learn from them if you have questions. Also, you have a lot to learn from them if you are in need. So it actually means both things that you need, and what kind of need you know, this soda is going to describe people in different kinds of desperate situations, and human beings, believers, they will find themselves in similar desperate

00:03:15--> 00:03:58

situations. And they will find the need that they have that hour being addressed by the words of Allah in this surah. So it's got many, many beautiful lessons that we can extract from and really enrich our lives with. And hopefully I hope to highlight one such thing today. It's something that seems very small, but it can become very, very big. The way the story begins in the Quran, is that a large hotel describes a child who came up to his father to tell him a dream. His color used to fully be here at Neeraj A to A Hydra shadow cabin, or shumsa welcomer. He's You know, he comes to his father. And he tells him that my beloved father, there isn't any doubt I saw 11 stars and the sun

00:03:58--> 00:04:37

and the moon. And then the Arabic is interesting or at home. I saw them. So he repeats I saw twice it happened in the beginning of the ayah. In Neeraj a two and as a matter of fact, Anna is twice for those of you who know Arabic I, I saw them for sure. And then by the time he says 11 stars, the sun and the moon, he starts over again as I saw them one more time, before he completes his statement, Lisa gene, which suggests a few things, one of the things that can suggest is a child, when they're sharing something, sometimes they're nervous. And when they're nervous, they repeat themselves. You know, sometimes your child comes up to you something happened at school, or something happened in

00:04:37--> 00:04:59

the playground. And you said What happened? I said I was playing. I was playing, I was playing Uh huh. And then what happened? And I was playing and then and then and they repeat their words because they're trying to get to the part that might get them in trouble, or the part that's hard to talk about, or the part that's a little bit shocking for them or traumatizing for them. Right so Yusuf Ali Salaam sees this dream as a child. He comes to his dad, he's nervous about this dream.

00:05:00--> 00:05:36

And the fact that he began with ini. For those of you who know the Arabic language a little bit in the heavenlies, Allah to shock, it's used to remove doubt, like he's telling his dad a dream. But he thinks his dad, even his dad might not believe him. It's too incredible, too crazy of a thing that he saw. It's too wild of a thing that he saw that maybe my dad won't even believe me. So he says, No, really, I did see it, I did in fact see it, I saw 11 stars, the sun and the moon. And then he says, at home, which is the strangest language, you know, in English translation of this ayah. They say I saw them prostrating before me, meaning I saw the stars The sun in the moon doing such that to

00:05:36--> 00:06:16

me, but the Arabic of it is very different. The word or at home the domain, the pronoun home, which is translated they is not used for inanimate objects. It's not used for the sun or the stars of the moon. As a matter of fact, it was if it was for the sun, the stars in the moon, the two options in Arabic would have been a 200 Elisa that or or a two Harley sajida. Those are the two options in Arabic. I know many of you don't know Arabic, and that's okay. But what I'm trying to get across to you is the way he spoke suggests that he already knew that it's not actually the stars, the sun and the moon. It's actually people because the wording he used his wording used in Arabic, only four

00:06:16--> 00:06:57

people, its leader will recall. So when he said this to his father, they're doing such that to me, they're prostrating because of me, they're falling on the ground. This was the part that he found so shocking. And his father, when he responds to him realizes in the way that the son told him to dream, the way that he expressed himself, the father paid close attention name and realize, this kid is so smart, not only did he see a special dream, he interpreted it all on his own, in the way that he described it. So the interpretation has already happened. It's already happened. You see, seeing a dream is not an accomplishment. That's not an accomplishment, but seeing a dream, and then having

00:06:57--> 00:07:30

the intelligence and the insight and the wisdom to figure out what it means. That's a pretty amazing accomplishment. So what Elijah sighs You know, there are so many endless conversations that happen between parents and children. And the Lord decides to highlight this one dialogue between Yusuf and his father of all the things you could have highlighted, he highlights this dialogue. There are other major events in the story, you know, he gets kidnapped, that's a pretty major event. He gets thrown in a well, that's a pretty major event. He gets taken out and sold as a slave as a child slave. That's a major event. He gets falsely accused and thrown into jail later on. That's all

00:07:31--> 00:08:11

before that he gets started, tries to get tempted by the minister's wife, then he gets thrown into jail, then he spends many years in jail. I mean, there are several major events that are talked about in this story. And in the beginning of the story, instead of what you would think is a major event is just a small conversation. And in this conversation, use of a ceramicist expressing a dream that he saw, but his father validates him immediately. And that's really the hook. But today, he says to him work at alika. But first of all, he warns him not to throw yaka and I aquatic for the Lula Qaeda. Don't tell this dream that you saw of yours to your brothers. Now, he knows Yusuf Ali

00:08:11--> 00:08:44

Salaam already knows jacobellis already knows, this has something to do with your brothers. Don't tell your brothers, I know they're part of this dream, you already know that too. Don't talk about this to your brothers, they already have a jealousy problem, though they're going to scheme something against you, they're going to get even more aggravated towards you. Now he's a child, sometimes you say we shouldn't have negative conversations in front of children, we should shield them, we should protect them. But sometimes it's in their best interest to know who's good for them, and who's not good for them, which uncle to stay away from, which brother to stay away from

00:08:44--> 00:09:16

sometimes, not every family situation is ideal. You know, and sometimes parents don't want to hear sometimes children come and say, you know, my brother did this, or my sister did this, or this one did this or this, I want to hear it. So I'm talking. I don't want to deal with anything. You know, a friend of mine used to say back, he was from Algeria. And used to say that the you know, there have joint family system. So they've got the guy living there, his wife is living there. Their kids are living there, his brothers living there, his wife and their kids. It was like 30 kids in the house. And there's like four or five different couples, and they're all fighting and all kinds of drama is

00:09:16--> 00:09:37

happening all day in the house. But then the grandfather walks home and everybody's happy. All of a sudden, all the problems are gone because the grandfather had a policy. If anybody has any fight, I'm going to line all of you up and slap all of you. The Father's the mothers, the children, everybody's going to get slept. So by the time the grandpa came home, all the problems in the family are resolved. That's clearly not Islam.

00:09:40--> 00:09:41

Apparently works for their family.

00:09:43--> 00:10:00

The idea being sometimes we don't want to hear it or we don't want to deal with a conflict that actually exists. Sometimes there are members of our family that have a problem that have an anger problem. They have a jealousy problem. They have a verbal abuse problem. Sometimes they have a you know physical abuse problem sometimes

00:10:00--> 00:10:21

They have a scheming and lying problem they have the people have problems, and who knows family better than family. And so if you have to look, look out for someone, sometimes you even have to look out for your own sibling, it happens. And this father has the sense to know, listen, you need to look out for your brothers. You can't you don't be naive, you're young, they're older. But don't talk about these kinds of things with them.

00:10:24--> 00:10:57

Because they will, they might hurt you in some way. And it's not their fault entirely. Initiate Ana live in Sandy, I don't mean the devil is a pretty big enemy, pretty open enemy for human beings, the devil can come anywhere, the devil is not just there between you and some stranger, the devil wants to destroy family relationships, he wants to create animosity between brother and brother, brother and sister, Father and Son, you know, mother and child, you know, mother and daughter and mother and son, etc. These family relationships is where the shaytan is active. That's where he that's what he wants to destroy. First, what's the best way to destroy humanity, destroy the unit that holds

00:10:57--> 00:11:34

humanity together, the unit that holds humanity together is the family. So shaitan is most active in the family. He's most active between parents and kids, he's most active between husband and wife, or siblings. That's where he's most active, these blood ties are these these sacred ties. That's what he wants to destroy First, if these are destroyed, what's left of humanity, then it's all gone. And then there's the you know, the shelter, the protection that family brings is gone. And so he's succeeding successful in his scheme. So first thing that yaku tells his son is what to be careful about. And that's, again, something we learned about us and our children, we have to warn our kids

00:11:34--> 00:12:09

about things they should be careful about. And we should also be warning our kids about people in our own families, sometimes that may be toxic. That's important. It's actually a son of a prophet. Now, it's so not so important. It was recorded in the Quran, to let our kids know, sometimes not everybody in the families, okay. And you know, Ramadan happens after Ramadan, it happens in all the family gets together, and some of the crazy uncles come to, and some of the wild cousins come to and some of the, you know, everybody's together. And sometimes you gotta let your kids know ahead of time, here's the people you got to stay away from, here's what you have to be careful about. And you

00:12:09--> 00:12:43

have to you have to warn them and educate them. It's the real world, you have to prepare them. So our kids are not naive, and they don't just, you know, in their naivety trust anybody, because anybody can harm them. And if this this slide in the beginning teaches us anything, is that family is not necessarily a safe place. His own brothers are the ones that kidnapped him, isn't it? His own brothers are the ones that threw him in a well, his own brothers are the ones that were trying to kill him. So it's not always the case that just because someone's family, oh, it's okay. They're with their cousin, it's okay. It's okay. It's just their uncle. No, don't be naive. That's that's

00:12:43--> 00:13:22

something even though Quran is telling us in very explicit terms. So that's the first thing. But more importantly, what I wanted to focus my football on today with you is what he says next and what impact it has. He says, What can radica htb karamba. That is how Allah has especially chosen you, your master, your nurturing master has chosen you. Each device in Arabic is used when someone is chosen for something based on a skill that they have, based on some qualification that they have. To give you an example, if I just go to the store and pick out a blue shirt, I could have picked a white shirt, I could have picked a green shirt, I picked a blue shirt, that's not HD, but that is

00:13:22--> 00:13:59

tougher. But when you hire someone for a job, right, when you hire a cook at a restaurant, you hire the best cook, you don't just say this guy's wearing a blue shirt, you got the job, that's not how that works, you got to hire the best cook, that's called HD Ba, the right kind of choice for the right kind of job. So when someone's qualified to do the work, and you select them, or even if you're working on your car or something and you need a certain tool, you pick the right tool for the right kind of screw. Right that that when you make that right selection that's called h diva. When he uses this word for use of at a salon, he's telling his son, you have a skill, you have good

00:13:59--> 00:14:33

qualities in you. And those qualities are the basis on which ally is choosing you for a special task. And then he starts telling him not only you know what, what skill is that when you will come into will Illa Hadith, Allah will teach you It seems Allah is going to be teaching you how to interpret all kinds of speech, not just dreams, you're able to figure things out what people say, and what's behind what people say. Sometimes people say one thing, but it's something behind it. Another reality behind it. He's gonna make you highly intelligent at analyzing speech, when you come into a limo come into

00:14:35--> 00:15:00

Metallica and Allah will complete his favor on you, meaning you have a great future ahead of you. You have a fantastic future ahead of you know, this is the talk father is giving to his son that Allah has chosen you, you have a special skill, then you're you're gonna learn to interpret all kinds of speech. You're very intelligent, and you're a level completest favor. I'm sure Allah has a great future plan for you. And then he says come

00:15:00--> 00:15:01

Atomic Bomb.

00:15:02--> 00:15:44

And it's the same kind of future, that perfection of a less favor that will give to your ancestors. Ibrahim is hoc, meaning you are part of a proud legacy, you're going to make your ancestors proud. These few words were so important. And I will tell you now why I highlighted these words. Because soon after this conversation, Yusuf Ali Salaam has been kidnapped. And soon after that, he will not see his father, again, he's going to it's going to be his entire youth, his childhood is going to be spent in a non Muslim family, he's going to be a servant in a non Muslim family, there's no Islamic influence, he's not going to go to Islamic school, he's not going to have a Masjid access. He's not

00:15:44--> 00:16:23

going to have any sort of Muslim community environment, he's going to be in Egypt, where they don't worship Allah actually. And he's going to live in a politician's house. So if normal people's house you might not see all that corruption, but he lives in a politician's house, who's got a psychotic wife on top of that, and he's a servant with no adult moral supervision. Nobody, you know, servants, they serve their master and do whatever. But in their free time, they're free to do whatever they want. At least for a child, there should be some kind of parental guidance, there is going to be no parental guidance, there's going to be no societal guidance, this society is about environment. And

00:16:23--> 00:17:01

by the way, after spending some years in that negative environment, he's going to get falsely accused, and he's going to end up in jail for a few years. And what kind of positive environment is there inside of a jail? What kind of people is around, he's around criminals for several years. He's not around some positive atmosphere that is going to cultivate his personality and bring him some, you know, some goodness, what do we learn from this? What we learn is, no matter what negative environment he found himself in, he was able to hold on to his religion, he was able to hold on to the strength of his faith, all from what from the validating words that his father gave him as a

00:17:01--> 00:17:39

child. When his when his father told him that you have a bright future Alliance chosen you, Allah has honored you, Allah has given you a special status. Allah sees something in you. You have a brilliant future. Then he when he internalized that as a child, he's able to take that light and doesn't matter what darkness is around him. It doesn't make him dark. He's still got that light inside of him. And why is that important to highlight for you and me? Because we have to be careful what we tell our kids. We have to be careful how we talk to our kids. One time I met a fellow who told me he was doing some work in my house, he told me, brother, can you help me with a question? I

00:17:39--> 00:18:10

said, What's your question? He goes, my son, he's got an anger problem. he punches the wall. When he comes home, he kicks things he yells and screams, I don't know what's going on with him. I was like, What happened recently, and he says, We recently moved from one city to another, like, okay, so he lost all of his friends and he's in a new school. Do you know if they're bullying him at school? Do you know if they're making fun of him? What's going on with him? Was I don't know, let's talk to his mother knows, I don't know anything. Like there's already a problem. You've got the legacy of Yakuza a solemn, who doesn't have to ask his son, his son comes and tells him because that's how

00:18:10--> 00:18:15

comfortable father and son are with each other. So when a dad sitting here says, I don't know what's going on.

00:18:17--> 00:18:56

You know, if we were to take a step back and say, What is it that you would like to tell your son or daughter that you're proud of in them, that you see that Allah has given them a gift, something that validates them makes them feel like they're proud how many sons and daughters around the world are there starving, dying, for the one time, their mom or their dad will say, son, I'm proud of you, daughter, I am proud of you. Allah has given you such a such a talent, Allah has blessed you, I am so proud to call you my son or my daughter, the only people that die for this, and they don't get it from their parents. And even if they get it, like if, for example, one time, the child, the daughter

00:18:56--> 00:19:06

decides that she's going to cook something for the first time, she's gonna learn to cook to make her mom problem. And she finally learns to cook and make something good. And everybody likes it. The mom says it's good. Finally

00:19:07--> 00:19:12

had to throw something in, you have to throw something because it took you long enough.

00:19:13--> 00:19:50

Couldn't make anything else, right, you have to throw something negative in not just the positive. On the one hand, what we learned from the legacy of jacoba the service, we can make our children blind to the negative around them. But we don't make them feel like they're worthless. We have to validate them. We have to inspire them. We have to give them positive words. Those few positive words you see in your children, and you say to your family, you don't know what dark environment they find themselves in. And those words are the only reason they don't fall into darkness. You see, that's a pretty critical thing. It's a really serious thing. And it's uh, you know, I would give

00:19:50--> 00:19:59

this hope by in theory, but I've seen it I've seen young people make the most terrible mistakes in their life and resent their parents and when you dig down into it,

00:20:00--> 00:20:38

When they're engaged in all kinds of Iran, you will think I should give them a conversation about don't do hallum fear law, you should fear the, etc. Yes, all of that's true. But there's something else going on that led them down that dark path. What led them down that dark path is man might have always criticizing all I heard it was something negative. So I just didn't want to deal with it. And when when you when the shutdown is able to create that negativity inside the home, then young people, your sons and your daughters are going to find friends, and find environments where people appreciate them, what people like something about them, or people make them feel comfortable. When

00:20:38--> 00:21:13

people make them feel validated. They feel like they're worth something here. And the more and the way, when they find that, you'll find that they're spending less time at home, or time outside, less time at home, more time outside. And by the time this they're they're old enough, and they're coming home at two, three and four in the morning, and you're losing your mind what's happening with you. You know, and they say I can't talk to you, I don't want to deal with your negativity, Mom, I can't deal with your comments, please save it. And you're in shock. What just happened? My child was so good. They were so quiet. They never talked back. And all of a sudden look at how they're talking to

00:21:13--> 00:21:52

me. Maybe I should take them to the mom, maybe I should take them to somebody and they can recite some Quran and blow on them. And then we'll be fine. That's not what happened. You weren't there to validate them when they were younger. You weren't there for a real conversation when they were younger. This will brew inside them silently until it erupts eventually, that's human beings that purchase your child or my child. That's human beings. That's human nature. And so we're learning something very powerful. By the way. By contrast, before I end, it's not just positive words that use evaluation of experiences, he experiences negativity to his brothers don't like him. I'm sure he

00:21:52--> 00:21:59

hears negative things from his brothers. And many years later, after surviving all of those trials, he's a minister.

00:22:00--> 00:22:21

And his brothers are standing in front of him. And they don't even know that that's their younger brother that they tried to kill. They have no idea. And among the entire fiasco happens with his youngest brother being accused of stealing. One of these brothers say listen to this carefully. What did they say even then? There's a call in yesterday for kosaka Holloman.

00:22:23--> 00:22:31

He said, You're standing in front of you. So they don't know what user and they're looking straight at him saying, Oh, this one stole he used to have a brother he had a stealing problem to

00:22:34--> 00:23:14

the use of that user was a thief. And even even though they're insulting him to his face, meaning they used to be degrading and demeaning before, and what does use of what does that say about you supply? So he says when when he heard these words, for Assad rahayu Sufi nuptse, he used to have kept the feelings he had to himself, the rage, he felt the sadness, he felt the cut and the debate the slander he felt from his own family, he kept it to himself, whether you had a home, and he didn't let them see even the look on his face. He kept control and calm and said to himself, and Tom, Sharon makonnen, you're even worse than you used to be. You're even worse meaning use of Alison

00:23:14--> 00:23:28

remembers the pain they caused back then he's an adult, he's gone through many negative things. He's gone through being kicked, you know, to being sold as a slave, falsely accused years in prison. But Allah never mentioned that he kept pain inside him.

00:23:29--> 00:24:04

Or let out some complain. But now when his own brother spoke to pain came out again, meaning you can human beings are capable of tolerating a lot of difficulty from the outside. But the difficulty that family brings to family is much more difficult to swallow is much more difficult to overcome. That's the hardest kind of pain. So the positive words that come from family are more important than anybody else. Some of you have a master's degree, some of you are accountants, some of you are engineers, doctors, whatever you are, when you go to the office, people are proud of you. Wow, you're so incredible. Your parents must be so proud of you. Your family must be so proud of you.

00:24:04--> 00:24:31

People want to take a picture with you. People want to just praise you at work, how eloquent you are smart you are, how this you are, how old you are, and none of that it comes those praises come to you, and they fall off of you because they don't mean anything. Because when you go home, your family, your own family tells you, you're worthless. You're a disappointment. Why couldn't you be more like your brother? Why couldn't you be like this, we shouldn't do this, you should have done that. You call that a real job. That's not a real job. You call that a degree. That's not a real degree. This is what family does.

00:24:33--> 00:24:59

And then all those accomplishments mean nothing. Because when they mean something is when validation comes supporting words come from the family. Be careful of these words. They're not hamana these children that we have, this family that we have, the way we speak to them, you have to be very clear. If you have nothing good to say stay silent. Just don't say anything. Just don't say anything. And a family's being negative towards you. It's okay, just walk away. don't engage with it. Be like you surprise them, keep it to yourself and

00:25:00--> 00:25:36

Let it go. Because Nothing good will come of furthering that kind of negativity for yourself. I pray that this is of some benefit to all of you and myself, that we have to take a good look at how we conduct ourselves in our family, especially the sensitive words we use with our children, and what effect it can have long term long term in their personalities. What What will they turn into? You know, there are there are people I met, they were called certain names. I can't even help us. I can't repeat those names. They were called certain names when they were children. And they literally said to themselves, well, that's what my parents think of me. That's how I'm going to act anyway.

00:25:37--> 00:26:01

Because that's what I really am. Right? Because who wouldn't know me better than my parents? So if that's what they think I am, that's what I am. And that's what I do. I do what I do. They made that into an excuse to ruin themselves. But it started with them being scarred as kids allows me to protect our children and make us careful with our words, and the way we deal with those that have been put under our care in Las Vegas realize the words of the messengers a lot more than you send them could look on.

00:26:04--> 00:26:10

Every one of you as a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about their sheep and lambs xojo make us responsible or our sheep.

00:26:18--> 00:26:20

How good is it work a farmer salatu salam, O Allah,

00:26:22--> 00:26:22

Allah,

00:26:23--> 00:26:26

He will have made it Meanwhile, he was

00:26:27--> 00:26:28

a lot more intelligent

00:26:30--> 00:26:34

to look at the human economy virgin in the Mohammed sallu

00:26:36--> 00:26:37

alayhi

00:26:38--> 00:26:41

wa salam ala Muhammad Ali Muhammad

00:26:42--> 00:26:42

Ibrahim

00:26:43--> 00:26:49

al amin, Majeed Allahumma barik ala Muhammad Ali Muhammad CamelBak sada

00:26:50--> 00:26:51

either mean in

00:26:53--> 00:27:00

the LA Rocky Mountain will last double la in the La Jolla. San Joaquin Valley will cover when her and his faction will come

00:27:04--> 00:27:06

in the Sonata, kind of inevitable no