Where Does Happiness Come From 01
Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
File Size: 24.52MB
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Allah xojo created the human being with desires and Allah talked about that that unsubtly Imran he said so you know, the nasty hobo chahatein and Lisa will bunny bunny in Makati. politeama hobby will feel bad. When halal musawah ama with an army with health Allah made for men, for instance, women desirable, he made children having children desirable. And then having wealth and assets and businesses and investments that grow desirable, a beautiful ride desirable. These are things that I love what inside the soul of human beings inside the inside our psyche, he programmed us to want these things, other places in crime, he makes a list of things that people want. And today what I
want to start with is a fundamental question, why do we want these things, what is in our minds that once we have these things, what's going to come? At the end of the day, the simple answer to that which every human being knows is I'll be happy. If I get the job that I really want, I'll be happy. If I get married to the person I want to get married to, I'll be happy. If I'm able to buy that house, I'll be happy, I'm able to live in this neighborhood, I'll be happy. If I remember to move to that country or that city, then I'll be happy. Some young men feel stuck in their home, they don't want to live in their small town, they're like if I get accepted into that university and move to
that town, man, I'm going to be so happy. Right? So all of these things, they boil down to one common denominator, which, you know, our great American history describes as the pursuit of happiness, right? So we're looking for this one thing. And we keep trying to find it in these pursuits that you and I have in our lives. In fact, we go through a lot of sadness, and a lot of difficulty and a lot of pain. Because of this dream of acquiring something one day, that will make us happy. So you work maybe even at a job that you don't like, because you're saving up because you want to get something eventually that's going to make you happy, right? Some kids, they get
allowance, right, and they just really want these this pair of shoes, they're not going to spend their allowance even though all the other siblings are getting candy this or that. They're withholding all these smaller happinesses because they're waiting for this bigger happiness. So they're saving, saving, saving, so they can buy those shoes or whatever it is that they wanted a video game or, you know, so this this idea that we're willing to sacrifice, for the sake of a greater happiness is actually a big part of life. It's the reason why students study hard at a university studying is not a joyful experience. There are other students in the same university that
are partying that are hanging out that are wasting their time. And then you have some students that are working really, really hard because some students look at happiness at a party or at hanging out or cutting class or going out and chilling or just sleeping. That's their happiness. Another student sees well you know, this looks like it's happiness, but I really want to have the happiness of being financially independent of being successful. I want to feel the joy of hearing my dad say
But he's proud of me, or my family celebrating my graduation or whatever, right? Being the pride and joy of the family, they've got some other pursuit of happiness in their mind. But at the end of the day, the irresponsible one and the responsible one have something in common. They're both pursuing some kind of happiness. So it is actually, for the students of psychology. It is one of the most fundamental questions when you're trying to figure out what's going on inside of the psyche of a person. What makes you happy? What makes you happy? And by the way, what makes you happy is a question that should be different from what is what is good stress relief for you. Because Happy
Happiness is something you're running towards. Stress Relief is something you're getting away from, you're escaping something you're stressed out about work you're stressed out about some family argument you're stressed out about this or that Oh, when I'm stressed out, I just go for a walk. Or when I'm stressed I'll just play video games or when I have too much anxiety I smoke or whatever people have different ways to cope with the pressure of life right? But that's not what's making you happy. That's just giving you a break that's not the question the question is something else what actually makes someone happy and this feeling that we have of happiness it's a very temporary
feeling as much as it's desired and pursued somebody said you know, somebody posts a picture of going through some beautiful vacation and they could see like an amazing city behind them sunny skies they could see a beautiful scape you know the landscape or waterfall or mountains or whatever, and they look really happy but go to the vacation enough times they'll all the places start looking the same. It's not it's not the same excitement for you anymore. It doesn't make you happy anymore. Right? So this thing that we're pursuing it's like a moving target it's not like once you have it you can hold on to it it's the same way you know what Allah describes I've talked about this in
other hotel before another hot button, so to headin how Allah describes that the crop turns yellow. Right. So the farmer, All he wanted was the crop to grow is the entire year, he's waiting for the crop to grow. And when it grows, they party they celebrate, they have harvest festivals, because finally the fruits of their labor, right? Quite literally, for a gardener, the fruit of his labor. But even that fruit gets sour, even the stock turns yellow. Right? So the idea there is that we can pursue them kids are like, man, I just want to get this new, whatever new, I just want to get a PS five, you can't get it anywhere. It's harder to get than a visa tomra. You know, I just really want
to get one. If I just had that, then I would and then they get it. And then yeah, I don't really have time to play it. It's kind of what it's okay. You know that the joy of it, the high of it drops real quick. The excitement of a new car, asked two months later,
two months later, the excitement of a new home ask about a year later. The the excitement of new clothes you got for either something or president you got asked a week later, the excitement drops. So this thing of the first point that I wanted to get across is this thing that is so fundamental to basically all of our pursuits, we have to be clear, I have to be clear about myself, that it's not in founding a thing. Because the moment I have it, it moves on to something else. And then it becomes something else and then it becomes something else I can't hold on, I can't seem to hold on to this thing called joy. And because this is such a fundamental pursuit, and it's common to all of
us, every one of us is human, every one of us wants to be happy.
I would imagine that Allah will talk about it exhaustively in the Quran, how to become happy. How will you finally in the Arabic word for happiness, is sada and the Arabic word for overjoyed happiness, extreme happiness is.
So these words you would think you'll find them all over the Quran, because Allah wants us theoretically to be happy. Right? Because the promise of Jannah the promise of all the rewards, even if it's not spelled out that way, obviously those things are there, just even thinking about those things makes us happy. That's what Allah wants. But surprisingly, in the Quran, Allah does not talk about happiness much at all,
in fact, barely at all. And there's only one place where Allah essentially says, and because of that, they should be happy, they should be filled with joy, if I be the leaker for Yahoo, which is one place in the Quran, and the entire Quran instead of units. So this what Allah does, for some some subjects that are so vital, and so fundamental, instead of spreading them out, he talks about it once and this is Allah's way of telling us what I have said here is enough for you to understand all you need to understand about this topic. So for instance, he did that with fasting. Allah didn't talk about fasting and Quran all over the Quran. He talked about it in one place one time. And
that's it. That's all you need to know. Compared to
With something like duck, duck, while he talks about endocrinol, over a couple of 100 times, why, because you can understand it from this point of view, you also can come at it from this point of view, this point of view, this point of view, there's lots of things you can learn about, what's the big thing. And you can you can acquire it in many, many, many different ways. And it can come to you you can be tested with your doctor in many different ways. So Allah addressed it in many different ways across the Quran. But when it came to something so what you were thinking we'll talk about over and over again, happiness, like I said, again, just this one place, and so that Yunus is
fundamentally where he says, the word sada is used. But here, essentially, this is the place unless as this is a less commentary on happiness itself. Right? It's this is a less commentary on.
And he didn't just comment on it. He actually said, this is number 58, by the way, and I N number 58, is the answer is the conclusion to iron number 57. Actually, so here, he's commenting on happiness, but the building blocks, what makes up happiness isn't the aisle before it, that's actually what it is. So in this series of podcasts, what I'm going to try to do is understand these two out. And maybe if we contemplate these toys, and though I have given a buzz about these two ions before, but not from this point of view, not from the psychological point of view, and not from this historical point of view. So we're going to come out to see my art, and we're going to come at them
from it from a different perspective, to try to understand something about happiness itself for myself and for you, for all of us. So that we can, you know, when we truly understand ourselves, maybe we can acquire this thing, the desire for which Allah Himself put inside us, he wants he, I want to feel happy, this is this experience I want to have. And for many listening can because you know now, I don't know if this is the case, because of will us living in the postmodern world. And because we have more access to each other because of social media, the internet, because the overflow of information so we know more about each other, or is it Has it always been the case. But
we know now how common depression is. We know how common deeply felt sadness and anxiety are, we know how common you know, people that we live with people that we spend our entire lives with, are riddled with thoughts all day that take happiness away from them. They could, you know, you could see them and say, Hey, what's wrong, and I don't want to talk about it. I just feel sad, and they hate me and I have a hard time expressing it. So this is an ailment this, you know, the absence of happiness is an ailment and the absence of feeling any joy? Actually, honestly, there are some people if you ask them, when was the last time you actually felt happy? It's a scary question for a
lot of people. Because they can't remember. Like, I was happy for this person. I was happy for that person. When was I truly happy? I can't really remember. It's a it's a hard question. And that's a scary thought. Right? That's a really scary thought. So what can what can we learn from Allah's insight in the Quran on the subject. The first thing is that this book by itself is dedicated to is actually what we can learn about it in the eye itself, where he does talk about happiness. He says, whatever this is the alchemy of happiness. Whatever Allah is giving you, he makes a comment about it. He said, who are higher on men my age, my own, that's the end of it. Number 50, who are higher
on men, my age man, and this is from Joe amiral column. Ironically, it's a very comprehensive statement. It is better than everything that they gather. It's better than everything that they gather. And in this is a profound insight from Allah, about how we normally figure out that we're going to get happy. If we gather things, then we're going to be happy. Some want to be influencer, if he gathers or she gathers more followers online, apparently they'll be happy. If I can gather these new gadgets that came out the new the 2.0 came out that the 13 came out the 14 came out, you know, the newest release came out, if I just gathered that I'll be happy. If I watched the new
season of this show, I can gather more episodes under my experience, then I'll be happy. If I can gather more basically more money than I can be happy. If I can gather yet another degree. I can be happy. If I can gather these credentials under my belt, then I will be happy. Right? So we're all whether there are tangible things like money, cars, toys, games, clothes, shoes, bags, you name it. Either it's those things or it's intangible things like degrees, recognition, followers appreciation, compliments. Some people like to gather compliments. That's what they're looking to gather. Does somebody just compliment on how good I look or somebody compliment us on how smart I am
Somebody comment on how funny that joke was, I just need to gather these compliments, right? They and so in all of these pursuits, and by the way, when you're gathering something, when you're collecting something like an animal, when when birds collect twigs for their nest, when ants collect food for their survival, right, then it takes work. Gathering doesn't just happen on its own, it's work. And in this, in this small AI, Allah has provided us a really deep insight, people exhaust themselves gathering things that they think will make them happy. They're gathering stuff, and that's an exhausting exercise. Either it's physically exhausting, it's emotionally exhausting. Or
even mentally, they're just sitting in their head gathering thoughts, gathering stuff that's good that they think will bring them joy. And all of that Allah puts aside and said, when I'm giving you is better than all of those failed collections that you have. And I'm not saying you shouldn't have a stamp collection that makes you happy. Or you shouldn't have, you know, some other you know, some people have shoe collections. Our contractor here at the campus, non Muslim guy, he has a sneaker collection, he's got a, he's got a gallery in his house of sneakers. Right? So I mean, that makes him happy. I'm not saying you can't have collections, or you can't, you know, you can't have things
that that bring you experiences of joy. But there's one thing Above all, and I've noticed this over and over again, as I've interacted with people try to understand this subject, people that become obsessed with one kind of collecting or the other. You know what, a lot of times I said this earlier on that there's the pursuit of being happy, and there's escaping stress or anxiety. A lot of times people are escaping something by collecting something.
So they're actually spending more time for example, I love basketball man, I love shooting around I love hoping they're playing ball and playing ball and they're exhausted, their legs are hurting, they're still playing well, because there's something at home that they're running away from, to play that much ball. Right. And it's it's scary that sometimes even you can hide behind. Oh, coming to the masjid makes me happy. Coming to the machine, which is a great thing coming to the machine five times a day, I had an interesting conversation with a new mom recently. I was being a mom for many years. And he said I wanted to understand the people that come to my mustard. I wanted to study
them. Very interesting person. So he actually had, you know, the regular mousseline the people who regularly come and pray coming five times. So the question is not an easy thing. Right? So you wanted to understand what motivates them. So he went to each and every person's house, this 15 or so people, because not too many people can make it everyday, right? So the 15 or so people who spend time with them, went to their home, got to know their story got to understand. And 14 out of 15 we're getting away from something, somebody's family, somebody's family member had died, somebody had a lot of trouble at home with their kids. Somebody had to, you know, and they just, and they
were and even though May Allah reward them for coming to the masjid. But understanding their pain and understanding they're getting away from something and trying to find peace and something is important to understand what's important to know. And so what I'm trying to get across to you is that Allah has given us this diagnosis almost, that we try to find escape away from our sadness by collecting things. But actually that's not happiness itself. That can never be happiness. You have people that are you know, because we're now in the in the world of impressions, right? The the world of image the world of filtered images, the world of, you know, selfies and the world of vlogs in the
world of presenting yourself as an icon of some sort. Right so you're following people that you think are really funny and really successful are really how they look happy couples that look happy make videos about themselves, and people make videos about how cute their children are, and they will and millions of people follow them right? They're not making videos about when their child is crying their head off and scratching their face and throwing the plate no no not that video there's a lot of edit right there's the one that were they're really cute that's the video you're gonna see. So people want to give this impression an impression of what happens sometimes these people that
look so happy that look perfectly normal that look like man I wish I had a life that they had next thing you know they commit suicide next thing you know they get diagnosed with some serious illness. Next thing you find out they're they're addicted to some kind of drugs. Why? Because that the urge my own was simply an escape from something else right and look at how Allah has so precisely just made this comment who are higher on the mileage mount, it is better than what they are gathering. So first Allah diagnosis in this ayah this concluding, which is strangely I'm starting today from the concluding IRA
So in this concluding, Allah is first saying, Allah is telling us later that all those other pursuits of happiness were just an exercise in collection. That's all it was. It wasn't, it was something that deceived people. It was just something that they got fooled by thinking that that's gonna make them happy. And you and I have to really take deep stock inside of ourselves and think, what is it that I am doing that I think makes me happy, but it doesn't actually do it?
I can't tell you that for yourself, you have to ask yourself that question. What is it that you are doing jumla of
and perhaps a less offering something better? You see, and this is my concluding comment for today's for but for you is that Allah azza wa jal in the Quran, he has given us halal and haram. Definitely, he's given us some advice on what to do in our homes, he's given us some guidelines on how to spend our money. He's given us guidelines on how to earn our money on how to do business. He's given us guidelines on how to interact with each other, how to deal with family, he's given us all kinds of guidelines of do's and don'ts. But those do's and don'ts you can think of them as the the items sitting on top of a table. What you have to have the table First, the basis on which all the food
sits, the basis of it is a way of thinking there's a there's a certain kind of thought process, there's a certain kind of personality, a certain kind of outlook on life, that Allah builds in the Quran. And when you build that kind of Outlook, then all of the instructions that are on top make sense, then they actually you will see and I'll try and explain over the course of the next few hobos, then those instructions actually bring you happiness.
And without that basis without the right thought process, those instructions, same instructions from Allah the same instructions of Hello, haram and foul language, all of those instructions, they become something that tightens the chest, that becomes a discomfort that become difficult.
Isn't it true that two people can be sitting at the same exact table, they're eating the same exact meal, but one and one of them's really happy one of those really upset
because the same delicious food and they both love the same food. The food isn't any better or worse, the temperature in the room isn't any better or worse. Physically, they're not going to one's going through pain and one's not. But one has something on their mind. What has something going on in their heart that's taking the joy away from eating, isn't it. There's, there's a mindset, they're in a different place mentally, even though physically they're in the same place. Biologically, they're experiencing the same thing. Their taste buds are experiencing the same thing. In fact, forget to people, even you yourself, you could be in a certain place mentally, and the same activity
will bring you happiness, you'll be in a good mood, and you're in a different place mentally. And that same activity does nothing for you.
Like I'm not in the mood, I don't feel like it. I don't want to do this, right? So what that that that mindset is what Allah is, you know, helping us configure in iron number 57 is absolute units. And that's what we're going to spend time understanding then then we get to fabby donica. That's what Alonzo vigil is going to unlock for us in this remarkable if so I wanted to take my time covering this with you. I've covered this with you before but again, from a different point of view this time, and inshallah tada the next time we'll open up the first of those components, there are four items mentioned in Aisle number 57. And the first of them inshallah, my intention is to cover
them in the next clip, which is Yeah, yohannes on the [email protected] that will become part of that will also be in I'll set the stage for it now is that this surah early on is actually debating with the machine.
Why Why should they believe Quran is the word of God? Why should they believe that? Why could it not be from a human being? That's the debate that's happening early on in this slot? This this is a surah is a huge conversation between align humanity right. So the first part of this conversation is why should you believe this is Allah's word? Why is it not made up? That's the crux of the argument in the beginning and I told you this is not the beginning of Saud Yunus. The I'm talking about is number 57. So lots of conversations that already happened. So what does that conversation have to do with this, you have to figure that out to to understand because you cannot understand the
conversation that is having something alive, saying, if you don't know where it fits, what is it a part of, so all of those explorations, inshallah will help us really get to the bottom of what Allah has to give us in terms of our personal, truly felt happiness that cannot be taken away. A joy that cannot be taken away a joy that is no longer a moving target. A joy that is no longer temporary, a joy. That's no longer art.
Official, join us no longer and escape from something else. That's the kind of joy that you and I want in our lives. That's the one that he's going to offer to us in these ayat. I pray that allows him to and fills all of our lives with real and true joy and makes us a source of real joy for others. And I pray that Allah azza wa jal brings the light of the Quran into our hearts and into the hearts of our family members and protects all of us. barakallahu li walakum feel for only hiking when a family will complete it with
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