Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan conducts a session about voicing one’s concern or opinion in an organization. What are the guidelines that we have to follow when we give our opinion? What are the ethics of giving our opinions?
In Surah Al Maida,
‘Those who have iman if anyone goes back on their religion Allah will replace them and Allah will bring another nation He will love them and they will love him. They will be extremely humble to the believers and severe against the disbelievers.’
So before we give our opinion we must know what it means to be humble in our interaction with other believers.
The other thing is about voicing your opinion is not just about something that is wrong but it can be a suggestion for improvement or betterment. It could also be a strategic suggestion. One should never be afraid of giving suggestions. Giving a sincere suggestion for the sake of Allah is an act of worship. Giving a suggestion is just like giving Sadaqa or charity. If we expect that our opinion should be taken, that is that they must act upon it and if they don’t one offended, in that case the person did not give that opinion for the sake of Allah. He gave it for the sake of getting it followed which is not right.
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
Session four session for now. So we talked about permission. And the idea that we should take even our voluntary work seriously and seek permission that's an important matter in just showing your respect to the work that you're doing. Next is a very big subject and very important subject, at least we can introduce it now is voicing your concerns in an organization. You have a concern you have, you know, your opinion that you'd like to give us something, what are some parameters, some guidelines that you and I have to follow when we give our opinion? What are the ethics of giving our opinion? The first of them the I want to share with you some sluiten? Maya? Yeah, you have the dino
amanu method of income and D. Those of you who have in mind anybody who goes back on their religion level replace them because hopefully a lot will be common Allah will bring another nation you have to humble your head buena hon Yakubu, he will love them and they will love him. I didn't mean their attitude will be they will be extremely humble to the believers. So before we talk about giving our opinion, we have to understand what it means to be humble to other believers, that even Delilah in Arabic actually is what you walk all over like a rug,
like a rug.
So we have to let other believers walk all over us.
In other words, we have to be extremely humble in our in our interaction with other believers. I didn't mean but exerted other caffeine extremely tough with the enemy. With a disbeliever here means the enemy. Inserting caffeine again understand the context of this law, social neither victory of Islam has just happened. Macau has just been conquered. We have to be tough with the kofod now is just another caffine that's their attitude, but then allows Odin adds the idea of giving opinion. He says you die He do Nafisa de la Hilaria Hakuna Matata in the struggle for the sake of Allah and they don't fear the blame of anyone who casts blame. Please listen carefully. They don't fear the blame
of anyone who blames them their criticism of anyone who criticizes them. They're not afraid of the critic, when they voice their opinion. They don't look around and say what are people going to say if I say this, it's in my conscience, I can't sit on it. I feel like it's wrong, what's going on? I should say something, but man, everybody around me is gonna think I'm weird. Or I'm a troublemaker, or I'm causing problems. So I should just stay quiet. No, you shouldn't just stay quiet. This peer pressure thing. This is against the peer pressure in an organization. Because organizations tend to develop momentum, they start going in a direction and they go full steam ahead. And maybe it's not
the best direction, and you and your good conscience realize there's something wrong with this direction. And you don't voice your opinion, because everybody's too excited about continuing to go. And the trains already left the station, sort of you know, you should and you have to voice your opinion, no matter what other people say. You have to be courageous about voicing your opinion. But you don't have to be a punk about it either. You don't have to make trouble at a meeting and say I have I do not fear La, la Loma de la even what we are doing is hypocrisy. And there's respectful ways of saying your opinion. There's a decent way of saying, Look, I'm not too comfortable with
this. I don't mean to be troubled. I don't want to be offensive. But how do we justify this behavior? How do we how can we do this, this and this? This doesn't seem right to me. You know. And so at the very least you voiced your concern. The other thing also is not just about something that's happening, that's wrong, but you have a suggestion for improvement. Do you have a suggestion for betterment, you have a strategic suggestion, you should never be afraid of giving those kinds of suggestions. But here's the thing that will save you or destroy you. If you don't remember it, it will destroy you. And that is giving a sincere suggestion. For the sake of Allah is an act of
Giving a suggestion is just like giving sadaqa
there's no difference between giving a suggestion, a sincere piece of advice and so the car, so the car is only for a month. advice is only for Allah. If you expect returns in dunya from South Africa, then Allah does not count yourself.
If you expect that your opinion should be taken,
that they should act on your opinion. And if they don't act on your opinion, you'll get offended, then you did not give that opinion for the sake of Allah. You gave that opinion for the sake of getting it followed.
Then you gave that opinion for yourself for your furthering not for Allah. Giving your opinion is the act of worship. The Ultimate Teaching of that is salaat itself in the salaat I forget the Lotus photocard or I lost
My mind so Marsha Tom got me. I got up for a fifth Raka
you're standing behind me, what do you do? You give your opinion this is wrong. How do you give your opinion Subhanallah but I keep standing and make the full fifth record. What do you do? This is not Islam, I'm gonna just sit down and make my ServiceNow or will you follow along?
You will follow along because the discipline of the group is more important
than you individually being right. Your responsibility was completed the moment you voiced your concern.
If you courageously voiced your concern, now the onus, the responsibility for things going wrong is not on you. It's on the leadership, you did your part, you cannot you just make the law not just for your law, I'm giving I've given this opinion accepted as an act of worship to you.
And by the way, if we truly have our intentions, right,
then we should be terribly afraid if our opinion is taken,
not offended when our opinion is not taken. Because if our opinion is taken, then the entire responsibility has fallen on us.
It went from leadership to my opinion, if something goes wrong, I will be asked about it. Because that was my suggestion. So think 100 times before you give a suggestion, give a sincere suggestion. ask Allah for guidance when you do make a suggestion.
And then don't be offended if it's not thinking. It's not the end of the world. It's not like good for any man. Like while you're in your opinion was the man and everything else is good. But it's not like that, that your opinion is guidance. Everything else is misguidance. It's not like that. It's not the end of the world. So give your opinion. Don't be afraid. But don't be hung up on your opinion either. Don't say they don't listen to me. That's actually the quote from a lot of them when African nominal agreement.
Do we have any authority either people never they never listen to us. Nobody takes what we say seriously. That's what they said. That's what they complain, because they were offended that their opinion was not taken it offered.
They were offended by that. Right? So we shouldn't be that attitude. That's the first important caveat. The second. The second is this this long passage. I'll take two more minutes, maybe five, five more minutes. Right. So I'll introduce the passage from suta Shula and then inshallah Tada. lever hopefully I can maybe even finished this in five minutes. I doubt it though. So now what Ito Vinci Informatica, hayati dounia, Wilma, Angela Hayden will call it Latina amanu Amitabha sutra Toba, Allah says whatever you've been given his gifts utilities to enjoy in this life, and whatever Allah has is better for those who truly believe and they placed their complete trust in Allah. The
passage begins with tawakkol and levina, yesterday buena Kava
fish, for example, the Bohemian children, those who stay away from major sins, and all forms of shamelessness. If your opinion is going to be worth something, then you have to be worth something before Allah before Allah, and we as workers of Islam, because this passage is about Shula, we as workers of Islam, first of all, we have to get away from major sins. We talked in the previous session about balancing individual worship with our volunteer activities. Now we have to talk about at least don't be engrossed in major, major sins. And the one you should look out for in particular is alpha hush all forms of shamelessness. That is the one that will get you cuz shamelessness is
from the Cabal, it is from the major sins, but Allah pulled it out and mentioned it separately again. So he said cabal with me one for Hush. Even though alpha hush Dutchman filterbuy. It's part of Kabbalah, but separated anyway. So all forms of shamelessness. You know what that means? Guys, young guys, young girls that are sitting here. When you're volunteering at the MSA. Watch out for shamelessness.
Because Because you are volunteering for something that's remotely related to Islam shaitaan will destroy you through shameless No, no, we're just sitting in a meeting.
We're just taking sure that insurer
that something else with a machine and a PA
but an insurer.
That's what you think it is. You have to walk you have to guard yourself extra when you're going to do this work. Because that's the easiest way if I can get you easiest way you can get you and He will bombard you with a two guys you're gonna grow a beard, and it's gonna come out all funny. You don't have the full thing yet. It's got like fuzzy things going on left and right. And you would think it's a safeguard against girls on campus. But shaytan will do what's what's up to that girl and she'll come up to you and say By the way, I'm in your bio class RNA
and you'll be sitting there like
Also the MSA, the President,
it will happen, that stuff will happen shut down will mess with you, he will ruin you. And now you're going to the convention for who knows what reason.
You're going to the conference for who knows what reason. you're attending the meetings extra early on, you're dressed up, and every one of them for God knows what reason.
And this happens for boys and girls.
And this, this is where you start. You're kidding yourself. If you're thinking you're doing Islamic work. You're kidding yourself. It's a joke.
Well, levina yesterday, do nakaba evil, if you will.
And then the next thing with Mojave boom, el Faro. And whenever they get angry, they calm themselves down, they control themselves. What is the most difficult urge to control for young people, it's their tendency, their their attraction to the opposite gender, if you can control that, then the other next thing that's a big problem for you is what for young people, tempers, somebody says something you don't like, tempers flare immediately. Allah mentions if you can control those fish, then you'll be able to not only control your anger, you'll be able to forgive. And that's a key to Islamic successful Islamic work. You have to work with others that will raise your blood pressure.
Sorry, that comes with the territory. You're not alone in that. I don't care if you're working at a Masjid, you're helping out at a school. Doesn't matter what voluntary work you're doing, you will be around people that will get on your nerves. And I'm telling you, they will crawl under your skin. And it will boil. And you will feel like you want to say something so badly. And and what that urge comes, you just recite what either mahabali boo home yell for your own, whenever they get mad, the forgive.
It's not even whenever they get mad, they Calm down, they forgive, they let it go. They cover it up, they move on, they learn to grow a thick skin, people that are going to work for Islam, if you don't have a thick skin better grow one, because that's what Allah wants.
You better be mentally prepared to be offended a lot, a lot and keep chugging along anyway. That's what comes with the territory. It has to be there. You know how many people join an organization with good intention. And they're given hugs, and congratulations. And six months later, when they hear something they didn't want to hear, or somebody upset them, they quit. And they quit. And they say I'm never going back there again, you say why would you go back there? Again, you don't know what they said to me. You know what that one guy said to me.
What he said to you was your test of whether or not you get angry or not. Because Allah His work is more important than your temper, then your pride. If you were doing work there, you go back and you do it. And you I'm not saying you let people walk all over you. You don't do that either. You stand up for yourself, but you don't insult anybody. And you overlook their misgivings. And you know, sometimes there are people in mostly Pakistanis, us, we're good at this. We love to say things that burn.
It's just in our culture, we just have to do it, we can't help ourselves. We just have to do we have to do with our children, we have to do with our wife, you know, she made a good meal, you have to care.
Today is a good meal, if you Okay, cuz usually it's pathetic. You can just say it's nice, you can't do it, you have to.
And you bring that into the meeting, you bring that into the sonic or two, you just have to say these little little things. And these little things they add up until a person goes crazy. They keep building up, the new the kettle over pot over boils. But you on the receiving end, just learn to grow a thick skin and take it and learn to laugh it off. Learn to laugh it off, learn to hear obscene offensive things, and just laugh them off and let them go. That's the way you'll be able to continue to do your work. And those people I tell you, those people are a blessing. Those people that test your patience, they're a blessing. Because they're a way they are the way by which Allah
teaches you suffer. If they weren't there, you'd never learn something. So at the at the ceremony at the end of the year, you say I thank those who helped me and I thank those who made me a more patient human being.
Right? Because they're a means by which you're elevating really, these this is this is also a part of your list, the people that are going to be a challenge in your life. Because otherwise suffer is just a theory. What is soccer if it's not tested, what is patience if is not tested? And sometimes it's tested by those who are close to us. Those we are we have to work with? Okay. Finally, when the dean has the job, will you ever be him and those who have responded to their master, those who responded to the call of Allah, they knew that there's something more in their life that should be done. Well, almost Sonata However, they didn't forget the original individual responsibilities. They
established a lot and of course, finally
What am rowhome Shura by now? And the decisions are essentially, he doesn't even say what I'm Romani Yun Allah Shura benavidez zhora. Their decisions are consultation among them. He didn't even say that his decisions are based on consultation, they just are consultation, all their decisions or consultation. consultation is not an empty suggestion box which says please put your suggestions here and the shredder on the bottom.
consumer is not equal brother, if you have a concern, please say it in the mic. I think we should have a youth program just like a low hanging brother next, but I think we should have we been programmed to lack a level of logic that can lead to
move on. You know, that's not true. nobrow should just let people blow their hot air and just say just like a lot and then do whatever you're going to do anyway.
That's Ashura. Shura is to take sincere on the on the on behalf of the one who's giving Shura. We talked about that right. And better be sincere. It's an act of worship. You don't accept expect it to be taken on behalf of the ones taking it. On behalf of the ones taking it. It has to be genuine. You're seriously taking it into consideration. You don't have your mind made up before you go to a Shula meeting that is not called as your meeting.
If you have your mind made up already at any opinion that comes you're gonna
knock it out the park. No, No brother, this is this way this is that way this you're just there to defend your opinion. That's not Shura. Shura means you're open to other ideas, you have not yet made up your mind. You haven't yet made up your mind. And you're going to exchange thoughts and you're open to the idea that maybe what you had in mind isn't the best. And what the other offered maybe completes it, or a combination of the two can be worked out or something a third thing came that you didn't even consider, you have to go into shuara with that attitude. And that's when should I Shula that's when it really counts for something. Now, if you do give a suggestion,
and it's serious, I'm not talking about strategy, like color of the carpet. I'm talking about serious stuff, you know, who should be eligible for soda machine or something something big. And you you think there's a serious problem? Then you do not discuss it with fellow volunteers. you discuss it with someone above you.
you discuss it with me. And you don't discuss it with anybody else. You don't? Because if you do, that's not sure that's najwa
that's the next session as
you discuss it with me. I mean, and if the Amir doesn't take it seriously, if there's someone above him, you take it to him. If not, then you bring it up one final time in front of everyone the immediate and everyone look, I brought this suggestion up, this is the last time I'm bringing it up, I will not bring it up again, here are my concerns they haven't been met. And if you really think it's a life and death issue, like this is the issue that will make and break your affiliation to this organization. Then just make that your last draw. You say publicly, this is my concern I in good conscience cannot continue to work in this organization, if this is going to be the case. So
it's the final time I promise I will never bring it up again. What was the channel first you bring it up to the one above then above that then in front of everyone and you're done. Don't email anybody about it. No back and forth. No discussions after the meeting is finished. It is dead. And as you're leaving the organization if unfortunately that's the case, make the out for them as you're leaving. May Allah bless this effort may allows them what Unitas May, Allah azza wa jal big, you know, make whatever decisions we take full of Baraka and forgive all the shortcomings we have myself and all of you I may draw for you, you've ticked off for me, leave on a good note. Don't leave on
like a wrestling match. And most board meetings. Don't do that. Don't walk away angry. These are your brothers. You want to see them in
your office all here for the same reason. nobody's getting a paycheck. Everybody's a volunteer. If there's anger in the meeting, it's because shavon is there. That's your enemy, not not each other. Realize that don't be fooled by him. Don't be fooled by him. We should know better. Really, vocally everybody akula t here said in the shape on jacobina. Logic tour minutes, tell my sleeves. See the best possible better thing say the better thing.
Oh, I didn't even say say the best thing because we're not capable of saying the best thing. He said accent of the not
say the better thing in your head. You could have said something then you think in your head. Maybe there's a better way of saying that. Maybe I should wait. Hold on. Just put the brakes on. Let me find a less offensive way of voicing that again. And then say in your head before you open your mouth. There should be a multiple choice question here. I'm about to say what he said is wrong.
And I could see this way. That guy's wrong, too. I don't think I agree with that. Maybe I should go with i don't think i agree with that. Instead of saying that guy's wrong.
You know, think through what you're going to say and how you're going to say this is your hula t action. And if you don't do that, in shape Ana jacobina, calm guaranteed, no doubt about it shaytan will cause dissent among you. No doubt about it. If you don't watch what you're gonna say.
You might have something legitimate to say but you didn't say it in the best possible way or in a better way than you originally thought of rethink think about not just what you're going to say. Think about how you're going to say it. That's sure that's a part of healthy Shula, respectful, courteous, and don't just praise people for you know, just to pander to them. Don't do in genuine praises your lack of low hate on you are doing so much for our community. I have a suggestion. No, no. Don't do that. If it's not genuine, don't do it. Don't say let me butter him up first, then I'll tell him how bad he is.
Doesn't work. If it's not from the heart, don't say.
If it's not from your heart, you don't mean it. Don't say it. It's better. You're quiet. This is better. You don't say anything. Okay. So that's the basics of giving one's healthy opinion. And considering all opinions in shallow data, how should a leader consider the opinions we'll talk about that in the qualities of leadership, I basically have two sessions left with you. One of them is what destroys Islamic work and that is najwa. So we're gonna have a najwa session next inshallah Tada. And then after that, we'll have our final session which is the qualities of leadership, at least some qualities basic, most important qualities of Islamic leadership, as outlined by the
Quran, we'll talk about those and conclude our day. barakallahu li walakum feel for Island Hakeem when finally we accompany it with the king.