» Earn on-going rewards and help us do more! «

Restraining your Anger

share this pageShare Page
Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:02--> 00:00:12

no criticism. This is Allah's way of telling us there are some times where anger can become overwhelming, and it's justified. Even at that stage.

00:00:13--> 00:00:34

Imagine the woman the insulted mudra the opening of subtle mudra they came to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam started raising her voice. My husband just told me that that he I'm like his mother to him now, he won't be with me anymore. This was the gehele way, the ignorant way of giving a divorce to your wife. It wasn't really a divorce. But the guy got angry at his wife and said, From today on, you're like my mom.

00:00:36--> 00:01:12

That's what I'm gonna call you. That just means we're done. Because I can't think of you anymore. That would be as disgusting to me as thinking about my own mother. That's that was a really nasty thing to say. So they did that he did we heard to her. And she came complaining to the prophesies on the Prophet didn't know what to tell her either Sato Salam, he didn't have revelation to answer that question. So you remain silent. He's I don't know what to tell you and she gets angrier and angrier. She gets louder and louder. And then Quran comes, suitable Giada comes and Allah azza wa jal says God sent me Allah Who COLA to God lucafriz og high wattage tequila Allah. Allah heard the call of

00:01:12--> 00:01:24

the one complaining about her spouse that came to you and she's complaining to Allah and Allah is listening all along to both of your dialogue with Allah Who Yes, Maruta what Akuma Allah is listening to the dialogue happening between both of you.

00:01:26--> 00:01:39

But even then, he doesn't say that on the firewall takom focus out in the movie. He doesn't say you better be quiet. You better just listen. You better recognize that's the Messenger of Allah know, at that moment, that anger was justified.

00:01:40--> 00:02:16

That was okay. Allah didn't Allah actually took her side subhanho wa Taala when someone's in a desperate situation, and their anger gets the best of them, Allah is on their side, that when somebody is Muslim, when somebody has been wronged those Sahaba were wrong for many, many, many, many years, and just came out, it came out in ways that they never imagined they would ever do. That's okay. As a matter of fact, if there hadn't been anybody else it would have been a riot at habia Forget it, we're going to do we're gonna fight we don't care. The fact that they just didn't obey or didn't take their firearm off at first, it's pretty amazing.

00:02:17--> 00:02:33

And the prophesy Shalom doesn't have a giant microphone. There are no water hoses with like police kit to calm the crowd down a crowd of 18 to 1800 to 2000. And there's calmly disobeying, calmly just expressing their anger, and one or two of them speak out.

00:02:34--> 00:03:09

That's incredible. That's why Allah actually praises it. Allah does not say you can't be angry. But Allah praises those companions for the way they express their anger. It's an incredible moment in our history. Something really profoundly profound to learn from Allah does not say you don't have to you shouldn't get angry, of course, you're gonna get angry. When injustice happens you and I become angry, we become frustrated, or makes them those mature crop is how they dealt with that anger. Even if for a moment they lost it, they regained themselves they regain their composure. So you've got incident after incident and the final angry incident just just because this first part of this

00:03:09--> 00:03:46

cobra, I really wanted to highlight it's okay to be angry sometimes. That's okay. You're not a terrible human being if you got angry in certain situations. And this third case I want to share with you is probably the most extreme case in the in the story of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. And that's when his own wife was accused of wrongdoing and the entire city of Medina when now so you feel do not feel Coleus Harvey left. She herself says everybody was talking about the scandal against her. But that didn't bother her as much even though she was really sick and crying and sad sadness was what got to her. She cried so much. And now Luca. Finally concavity. My parents thought

00:03:46--> 00:04:09

My liver is going to tear open because I'm crying for two straight days. The Prophet sallallahu wasallam came over to her sat next to her and he said something to her. He said to her, you know in going to El Monte biddenden. If you've done any mistake if you even made a little bit of a mistake. First off, it allows you to really just make Toba do it. Step four, make Toba to Allah.

00:04:11--> 00:04:33

If you're innocent, Allah will prove you're innocent. But if you've made a mistake, Allah will prove that you're innocent, or Allah you just ask Allah for forgiveness. So the Prophet basically Elisa son said two things to his wife, if you did it, repent. And if you didn't, Allah will prove that you're innocent. That's what he said. But the fact that it's her husband saying if

00:04:34--> 00:04:39

anybody else saying if you did it if you didn't do it, your own husband says, What do you mean if

00:04:40--> 00:04:50

are you doubting me? And she says Colorado Marie. She says my tears dried up. I wasn't crying anymore. That sadness, turned into anger.

00:04:51--> 00:04:59

That sadness, then converted into anger. And when it converted into anger, you know, they were she turned to the she turned to her father.

00:05:00--> 00:05:34

to her her mother first. And then her father, a GB rasool Allah SallAllahu wasallam female called LG rasool Allah azza wa jal and female called Can you answer what he just said? Can you please answer him? The mom says Hola, hola Andrey maddrey ma Julio, so Allah salAllahu Orissa. I swear to God, I don't know what to tell him. The father says I swear to God, I don't know what to tell him. There's three people in front of her. The Prophet of Allah salAllahu alayhi wa sallam, her mother and her father. Those are the three people in the room when this incident happened. And by the way, if you study Quran, what do you learn the three people that deserve the most respect? Messenger of Allah

00:05:34--> 00:05:41

and who? Your parents halachic Allahumma alfen Walton Haruna Allahumma Calderon Karima, don't even say,

00:05:42--> 00:05:58

Don't even that much to them. That's how seriously you're supposed to take the respect for your parents. You can't be angry in front of your parents. You can't even let's let them see the bulges on your forehead. That's what the Quran teaches about our dealings with our parents. And all three of them are in front of her. And what did she say? Well, hola, hola. Hola, como athalon?

00:06:00--> 00:06:05

I can do I don't even know how to describe you people. She started yelling at all three of them.

00:06:06--> 00:06:09

And then she quoted the Quran and she compared them to the brothers of use of

00:06:11--> 00:06:46

he says the only thing I can say is what Jakob said to you know his sons for several Jamil Allah, Allah and Allah matassa phone, the only thing I can do is be find beauty and patience because only Allah, Allah can Allah is the only one who can help because of the things you're describing. Basically, when the use of brothers were describing that he was eaten by a wolf, they were lying, right? And she's put now the same category. For them. She's put the three people in front of her in the same category by quoting Biya. That was pretty serious. That's really serious. And then she's done talking.

00:06:47--> 00:06:52

photogenic do we laugh your last year I turned back and I lie down on my bed. I'm done talking to you people.

00:06:54--> 00:06:57

turning your back to the messenger of allah sallallahu wasallam to your parents.

00:06:58--> 00:07:06

It's remarkable what happened. And then I add came 10 out came of sutra noon, and none of them criticize our mother, Nadia Laquan.

00:07:07--> 00:07:32

Why? Because there are cases in which anger is justified. When the leave turns into love. It's justified. But don't use this first part of what I'm sharing with you to justify your anger. I wanted to start with that to give us some license but not open license. Give myself license but not open license that now we get to this, you know, well, I heard a hotline that said I'm going back home as the Incredible Hulk. And I'm just gonna.

00:07:33--> 00:07:48

No, no, we what is the balance because of Quran always gives us a balanced view. Always a balanced view. By the way, there was one more incident but since time is running out, I'll be very brief with it. It's the incident of Yusuf Alayhi Salam.

00:07:49--> 00:08:09

When he was already a minister, he was already in a position of power. And all the villages were starving, and they used to come to the ministry to get food. They were basically on a kind of food stamp system now. Right? They were on welfare, they couldn't get their own food. So his own family came in. They didn't even recognize him. And now the same people who threw him in a well his brothers are in front of him.

00:08:10--> 00:08:18

Right? Okay, that's bad enough. He should be angry at see oh, now you need help. You know what, I have the power to get you thrown in a well now.

00:08:19--> 00:08:47

I have the guards to get it done. But no, that wasn't even what made him mad. When he made the scheme that one of his brothers, the one that the youngest brother should be pulled away because he trusted him and he loved him. And he knew that he was also oppressed. And he held him back and there was these trumped up charges about he stolen something right. When they confronted them about these charges, his own brothers standing in front of him said Oh, in South Africa fucka tsaka Hola, human Pablo.

00:08:48--> 00:08:53

Oh, he stole Yeah, he had a brother back way back when he used to have a stealing problem to

00:08:55--> 00:09:04

use Yusuf Ali Salam is the Minister now standing in the position, and his own brothers are telling him about himself that he used to be a thief when he was a little kid

00:09:05--> 00:09:44

lying to his face about him. How angry would it be and by the way, Yusuf alayhi salam has been kidnapped. He has been thrown in a well, he's gone. He's gone to prison. He's been a servant. He spent years in jail. He's got lots of reasons to be angry. But Quran never describes he was that angry until here for a saraha useful enough see, while I'm using the use of kin contained all the feelings he had against them. And he swallowed them all in rave. He held it in. He could have said it. He could have lashed out he could have had them arrested. He could have the Mexican he could have done anything with them. He had the power to but he held it in what are we learning now? We're

00:09:44--> 00:09:59

learning that use of Ali Salam by the way. The story the story of Yusuf Ali Salaam is really important for the profit slice and and because the province iclm was in a great position of us has actually been oppressed. One of the worst years of oppression of the Prophet's life was the year in which suit us

00:10:00--> 00:10:00

was revealed.

00:10:01--> 00:10:27

And he was in a very helpless state. The family support was gone because the journal de la Hudaydah was gone. And we thought it was gone. Things were looking very, very bad for the messenger of allah sallallahu sallam. And it's in that context to give the prophets I said, I'm hope Allah gave. So that use of and introduce of Allah basically said, Look, right now, you and your followers have lots of reasons to be angry against the people who have done you wrong, but a time is coming where you're going to be in a position to take revenge.

00:10:29--> 00:10:37

And then at that time, you should exercise what Yusuf Ali Salam is going to exercise. You know, when somebody's wronging you you're like, one day

00:10:40--> 00:10:47

when I get a chance, when I do that, you know, y'all behold all these movies, some kid who got beat up, then he learned karate.

00:10:48--> 00:10:48

You know,

00:10:50--> 00:11:07

somebody got humiliated, then they went for training and then they came back and then they took revenge. And we've glorified the idea of one day and you're just it's all in your head one day I'm gonna I'm gonna get you back so good. And that drives them and all the progress they make is out of because they want revenge and eventually you want to get them

00:11:10--> 00:11:47

get out of your head. That's not worth it. That isn't worth it. Why not? Because you know, hey, this, you are hurt. It is inside you. But the hub is no good. A lot of means you want to act it out. And you want to do you want to inflict harm by the way, if you want justice, no problem. While I'm an imbecile about the volume effect, we'll come back and Ally humans have been whoever was done wrong. And they want to seek revenge, meaning seek revenge fairly. They want to get fair attribution for the wrong that was done to them. You can't make a case against them. You can tell them you must forgive. You shouldn't be upset. No, no, no, I have the right. Allah says, Allah karma cannot allow

00:11:47--> 00:12:00

him and Sabine but here I want you to listen to these words of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, it Taku Minella hubub Inaho Jiang rotten to Qaddafi. CALB me Adam Olam, Tara LMT Fahey Oh, dodgy. He was young, naughty IE.

00:12:01--> 00:12:44

He says Be very careful about hubbub. Anger that lashes out. That's why this is why I actually got a bottle for us a jam the horse when it's chewing on the main that's in its mouth. When it's chewing on it, biting it, that's also called Zab. And rhubarb in Arabic is Actually smallpox, meaning it's a disease that scratches in itches, and you just need to get it out. And it's disgusting and it makes you ugly. These are the images of lava, the prophesy. Some says beware of God, beware of this thing that will make you ugly that will make you sick. This wanted revenge this one of getting back at someone, it's going to make you sick, and then he describes it as a burning lump of coal. It's this

00:12:44--> 00:13:21

burning lump of coal inside of you that burns inside the heart of the son of Adam. These are very profound words, what is inside our hearts, inside our hearts is gratitude inside our hearts as patients inside our hearts as emaan inside our hearts is all the good things that Allah wants to have, inside of a human being belong inside the heart of a human being. If there's a lump of coal burning inside your heart, what's happening to all of those things that are burning away. All the good that's inside your heart is getting burnt away by anger. He says watch out for anger. It can burn everything else down. It will tear everything else apart inside your heart.