How Can I Be Forgiven After What I’ve Done

Nouman Ali Khan


Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

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a lot of people write to me on different platforms and share some of the things that they're experiencing. And a common concern that several people have, in fact, share with me recently

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has been that, you know, at some point in their life, they realized that they messed up. So they were living a life where they didn't really care about the consequences of their actions. And they were, you know, kind of doing whatever makes them happy. And in doing so, they caused a lot of damage to a lot of people. So not only is it a violation of what Allah considers wrong, so they weren't they didn't care about what's halal and haram, that was one issue. But the other issue is they hurt a lot of people along the way. Right? And with no cause for concern, no looking back, right? You're just going to do what I'm going to do. And eventually all of that catches up with you.

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And then one day you kind of by some miracle of Allah, you wake up and you realize, oh, my god, what have I done? I'm just horrible human being. And I've wronged so many people. I've heard so many people. I've said so many terrible things. And I've completely disregarded Allah azza wa jal. And so the realization of that, it can be a very heavy one. And a person can then start questioning how could be How could I be so evil or so wrong? And so he listened, so careless, and so reckless and so selfish and so arrogant? You name it? How can I be all those things for so long? How come I didn't wake up before and use the guilt of that starts eating away at a person when they have that

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realization. Now, before I carry on with this scenario, I want you to know that shaitan has a strategy for every phase of our failure. Like he doesn't cause a human being to fail in one step. He causes he wants the human being to fail in subtle stages. You know how they did this example a long time ago. It's animal cruelty, really. But if you took a frog, and you threw it in boiling water, it would jump right out. But if you put a frog and you boil the water, slowly heat the water slowly, it wouldn't even realize that it's slowly marching towards its death, and he would actually die without ever jumping out. Right? So there's a slow progression, in which he's poisoning you. Or he's boiling

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you really slowly but surely before you get to the point of no return. Right? So in the beginning, his job is to make something really bad, seem not so bad. So if even if it's a major sin, and it's something totally evil, he'll say, Come on, you're just you're just human. Everybody does this. It's okay. You just slipped up

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It's okay, you're going through a lot. So it's understandable. Like he'll, he'll pat you on the back, he'll support you, oh, comfort, you will try to give you these thoughts in your head that what you're doing is not that bad or maybe just don't think about it. So why can't you just be happy for once just be happy, pick the drink up, it's okay. You know, you're going through so much stress. This is the least you could do. You know, it's their fault. It's this. It's your uncle's fault. It's your friend's fault. It's her fault. It's his fault that they made you do this. It's not you. It's somebody else who made you this. So he feeds you all this stuff, where it's not me. It's somebody

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else was making me do it. You know, so it's their fault. It's really not mine. I'm the they're the reason that I'm falling into this haram or this evil. And this is why I'm lashing out. And this is the way why the way I am the way I am. And so once he does that, then it becomes easy for you and me to take whatever wrong action we were going to take if we fall into that trap, if you fall into that kind of thinking, because honestly, the real danger isn't the wrong action. The real danger is the thinking that happens before that action. The Quran gave us guidance on our thoughts. This is why the Quran emphasizes a lot, a lot of Falada Kowloon, once you use your intellect, the thought

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process that you we engage in everyday the thoughts that we have every day, Allah guides them. Because if you don't guide your thoughts, the next thing that will happen is misguided behavior, the actions will be misguided. So this thought process the shaitaan is very good at filling your head with the thought process. And you can accept it or reject it just like you know, junk mail or just like, you know, ads that you don't want to watch, you can either you could choose to click on it and engage or you can ignore it, the thought will come. But you have to have the ability, and I have to have the ability to dismiss that thought to do away with that thought. But if you don't do away with

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that thought, and that scenario is okay, you know what, it's not that big of a deal. It's somebody else's fault. And you and I fall into the wrong trap, you end up doing the wrong thing. Then, the next thing that happens is one of two children has a, you know, scenarios, you know, military strategy, they said we're gonna make this attack. If this if A happens, then we'll have this strategy. If B happens we'll have this strategy. So Shabbat knows that not all human beings respond to failure or sin the same way some people fall into sin, and then they become addicted to sending they keep on doing it.

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So he's like, Well, these, this guy is on autopilot. So I don't have to worry about this anymore. Because he's doing my job for me. She's doing my job for me. So she can just carry on. Right? There are other people who do sins continuously. But at one point or another, they wake up. And this is a problem for chiffon. This is a real problem for him. Why? Because this person was paving their way towards failure. So they can meet Allah azza wa jal in loss. And now all of a sudden, they've woken up and they feel bad about what they did. This is not a good thing. This is the first, this is the first sign that this person wants to return back to Allah. So what does he do with this person? What

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is your time going to do with this, this man or woman who decided to wake up or who Allah put something in their heart and they woke up and they feel horrible? Well, there's a shutdown has a plan B, and C, as Plan B. So now instill you with hopelessness. Now, he can tell you, Hey, you messed up so much. You're such a terrible human being. Look at all the people you hurt. Look at all these years, you've been doing this since there's no worse person than you? Why would Allah listen to you? Why would he ever guide you? In fact, you're already in health.

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You deserve how already. And you deserve to be in this mental torture, so long as you're alive. I don't even know why you're still alive.

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These are the thoughts filling your head, regret over your sin, which is actually spiritually speaking the healthy thing. A bliss can turn that into an unhealthy thing. You can turn that into an overwhelming sense of Allah will never forgive me. And then you you have this attitude. If you talk to somebody you say, you know, I feel like Allah will never forgive me. No, why wouldn't ALLAH forgive you or you don't know what I've done? Or it's so bad. It's so bad. If you knew you would know that you even you would tell me you're going to hell.

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So this thought process is the next success of Shavon. Why? Because Shavon is the master of hopelessness. So when in the big before your son, he wants to make you think it's no big deal. After your sin is done, he wants to convince you it's too big of a deal. Allah will never forgive you. There's no hope for you. Right? So and then he can get somebody trapped in that and a person can start hating themselves being miserable, by the way, misery, hating yourself crushing yourself. Yeah. And having this this kind of

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viral negativity that's inside you. It spreads to the people around you too. It doesn't just stay with you. Right? And he loves this. This is what he absolutely loves. So now if a person is following

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And into that trap. What does the Quran do to remedy this? The Quran has lots of remedies for it. But what I want to share with you today is, as a reminder, the stories that Allah tells us in the Quran, you all know they're not just stories, right? They're actually, these are case studies. It's the same rub. That was the rub of Adam Alayhis Salam, that's my rub.

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The story of Habib and kabhi or if it's the story of his humble kaha, for if it's the story of the two gardeners versus story of Musa Ali salaam or a Saudi Sudan, how Allah is dealing with people, is he telling us this is how he operates? When people do this, this is what Allah does. And this is how these people interact with Allah. Because you and I don't have the right to make assumptions about Allah. We cannot make assumptions about Allah. So let me just backtrack for a second when a person says, I know Allah won't forgive me. I just know it, Allah forgive me. They've said something about Allah, as if they know, right? And where did they get the confirmation for a fact that Allah won't

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forgive them? Or I just have a feeling? It's in my heart, I just know it. Really you get revelation, now?

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You got a loan forgive you. You and I don't get to speak on behalf of Allah and override how he speaks about himself. Does he have something to say about this that overrides what you and I are thinking. So let's first take the scenario of sinful people. One of the most sinful people mentioned in the Quran if if not the most sinful person would be fit on I often say, jokingly, but sounds pretty serious to shaitan would want his autograph. This guy is serious. Right? I mean, if there's any crime that you can think of, not of committing against Allah and against humanity, for Allen is your role model for evil. Right. And for our own, you would think so many sins and so many murders

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and so much arrogance later, he should be at a point of no return. There's no way this person can be redeemed. There's no way this person should have a chance at forgiveness. This person should just be destroyed. That's all there should be. But when Allah sent Musa Ali salaam to Pharaoh and he didn't send Musa alayhis salam to fit on to destroy around, to punish Frauen in fact, Allah sent him to fill out a reminder around and then he said, there's potential he could actually maybe even be affected by this reminder. And he might even become a God fearing person. The Allahu Vacher and Yaksha

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Now that's pretty wild.

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Because I hear a person who's literally killed babies who's enslaved entire nations who's declared himself a God who's who beats every check for you know, Highway to Hell. If you check marks every every category, disguise the number one candidate for the kind of person who should be in hell. And Allah tells Musa nice I'm after all of those crimes and years and years of them. Allah tells Musa about this old man, by the way, if it is an old man, so it's not like oh, he's young, he can change. You know, he's lived a whole life of doing this stuff. And you know what we say about old people, they're set in their ways. It's too late for them. They are how they are. How can they ever change

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and Allah tells Musa and Islam even he, there's a possibility he can benefit from the reminder and he might become somebody fearful.

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Even though we know how the story turns out, these words are important, aren't they? Allah is telling us something not just about fit island but about human beings.

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You can have you could have done and the kinds of sins the kinds of bad that it's it shakes you to even talk about it.

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Like you can't, you're so embarrassed by it. You can't even talk to the person about it. That's how bad it is what you did. That's how embarrassing it is. That's how humiliated you are even inside yourself. You can't even you shutdowns got you so good. You even have a hard time telling Allah opening to Allah about it. And even if you do, the moment you open up to Allah you're like, I really did this. How can I even be talking to Allah why I sound so stupid Allah, Allah is not gonna forgive me.

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Just Just look at what I've done. Whatever kind of person I am. And Allah azza wa jal does not allow. He does not allow a human being to give up hope on themselves. He doesn't do that. He didn't even give that that seal onto frown. He didn't do that people miss them. When people have a predisposition. They say No, Allah won't forgive me. Then they open up the Quran and they only look for confirmation of their own wrong assumptions. So they say oh, Allah says about some people, their hearts are sealed. See, that must be me. He's talking about me because it says for you Kulu be him burradon Or for Toby

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noccalula him Katana Allah Harada kudos to him. Allah put a seal on their heart Allah Allah seal their heart there's a there's a lock on their heart am i Luckily that's that's talking about me see my heart is locked

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the amazing thing about the people whose hearts are locked in the Quran over and over we want Allah says for him let alone from life Cahoon

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they don't even know. They don't even know their hearts are locked. They don't even know their hearts are sealed. So when you come to me and tell me, I know my heart is sealed.

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You can't be from this category because the people whose hearts are locked, have no idea that their hearts are locked. That's what Allah says. So, this self deprecation attacking yourself hating yourself putting yourself in this hellish category. This is all your Allah didn't do this to you. You did this to yourself. And Allah's words, if you want to misuse them, you can justify that. But if you're honest with yourself in the word of Allah, then Allah did not seal your heart. The fact that you even feel bad is an indication that your heart isn't sealed.

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The fact that you even have remorse means your heart is still alive.

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Then there's the matter of why would Allah forgive me though? I mean, if you like I said before, if you knew what I've done, there's no way Allah would forgive me that's just wishes way too much. And what about all those people that I hurt? Even if I do good deeds now on Judgment Day, they're gonna come Hey, y'all, Allah, that hedge this guy? Did you know what he did to me the year before? I'll take the hedge credits.

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You know, and the other 30 Ramadan's yet after that, I'll take all those fast things because this guy robbed me of my business. He humiliated me. He, you know, he ruined my reputation. He destroyed my family. He did this, this this this, this, she did this, this, this is this. I'll take all their good deeds. I'll take Thank you very much. So this person's like, what's even the point of me doing any good deeds now? Because they're gonna take it all anyway?

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Like, I'm stuck. You know, there's no, there's no point.

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These are the kinds of thoughts shaitaan wants to plant in your head so that you don't, he wants to close your path to even doing any good deeds, wants to close that road. I want you to understand something. One of the worst things if not the worst thing you can do to somebody is kill them.

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And in the same story, Mousavi said I'm killed a person

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Firewalkers Musa karate he killed a person. I mean, if you're talking about violating another human beings rights, the ultimate right we have is a right to live.

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He violates that right? And he sat down.

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And when he does it,

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then even though there's lots of things to learn from that incident, just one thing. He wasn't even a prophet yet.

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The incident of tour has not happened yet. He hasn't gone up to the mountain and have worked with none of that has happened yet. He's just a believer right now. He's a milkman. But he's not also yet.

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And when he does this, he says I'll be in need Volunteer enough. See fairly, my master, I have done wrong to myself. Before I get to the next part, I have done wrong to who? Myself. This is different from any volume.

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I'm a wrongdoer? I'm no I've done wrong to myself, as is a very important distinction. Because if you say in the volume, you have identified yourself as a wrongdoer. This is who I am. This is my identity. I am a wrongdoer. But when I say I have done wrong to myself, you have identified an action.

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The action is bad, and that actions first victim, the victim was someone else, the guy who died. So you will you will think Musa Elisa would say rugby in the volume to a higher than

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I want somebody else. That's my victim was lying there dead. He says, I'll be in Knievel mtwo, Neff. See, I've done wrong to myself. I've done wrong to myself, I've hurt myself with this sin. I'm also a victim of this sin in addition to the person I hurt.

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But he's concerned about that wrong these unto himself, and he turns to Allah and he says, Follow fiddly. Forgive me.

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Now, by the way, musasa might not ever be able to get the forgiveness from that victim.

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That victim who got killed,

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right? He doesn't have a chance to say I forgive you. I don't forgive you. So you know if he was if we had that kind of anxiety, we'd say on Judgment Day that victims gonna come after me. He's gonna be like, Yo, you killed me. I'm gonna take all your deeds. Now they're going to help. You can't be forgiven. You can me.

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Me, me everything. What did Allah say when moosari Sam said forgive me. He said for how far Allahu.

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So he forgave him. So he forgave him.

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Why is this important? Because even when you've wronged somebody else, even when you cheated somebody else, even when you hurt somebody else.

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On the one hand, we have to try to make things right

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Right. We'll talk about that in a second. But first and foremost, don't confuse that with Allah's forgiveness.

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Your forgiveness does not depend on another human being. It only depends on Allah.

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Your mother doesn't get to tell you, Allah will never forgive you. Because she doesn't get an email from Allah telling her that you are going to help. Your cousin doesn't get to tell you, your uncle doesn't get to tell you, your friend doesn't get to tell you. Somebody who hates you doesn't get to tell you, Allah will get you. They don't have that guarantee from Allah. And they don't also have the license to say until I forgive you. I know Allah won't forgive you.

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That's not how Allah's forgiveness works. It's not dependent on another human being. This is we have to be very clear about this. I owe a forgiving, I owe apologies to people I've done wrong. And if I'm not in a position to apologize, maybe I owe something else. Let me tell you about owing apology from what I want to make this concept clear. Asking Allah's forgiveness. Well, if you're sincere and asking Allah's forgiveness for the wrong you've done, even the wrong you've done to others, it does not depend on how they feel about you. They can still hate your guts, but Allah can still forgive you. Those are two separate things. But now let's talk about the people you hurt. Because the people

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you hurt might say Hey, Why did Allah forgive them? That's not fair.

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They get to do all that and they get mugged.

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I don't like this deal. They should at least pay something

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we believe in Allah is absolute justice. We believe in Allah as

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I trust Allah as Jasmine more than I trust my own judgment.

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When you watch an episode of Judge Judy or something, and you see the verdict, you're like, Ah, she was a little biased. We don't think like that about Allah. We think about I don't worry that Allah will let some criminal off the hook or unfairly forgive someone or they deserve to get punished. And I feel like justice wasn't done. I have this Tawakkol in Allah's wisdom. I have this reliance on Allah, His wisdom, His justice, his all knowledge, he knows things I can't possibly No, he understands things I can't possibly understand. And so when he makes that decision, I have to step back. I don't know. I can't say about anybody else. But now finally. So let's get to that before I

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wrap up today's Hoba. And that is, what about the people that you did wrong? What about them?

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I'm reminded of the case of washi.

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Actually, for those of you who don't know, in the Battle of offered was the this he threw the spear that killed the beloved uncle of a suicide salon. Right. So he was the he was paid to do so and he was successful. And not only was able to kill him, then the body of the prophets uncle was mutilated. And this after after the battle, right, so this is, but the the cause of all of that is Elashi.

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Years passed by Islam is victorious. Maka has been conquered. And in what she actually accepts Islam, he accepts Islam. And when he accepts Islam, we know that all your previous sins are forgiven.

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Now he wants to come meet the Prophet sallallahu sallam.

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But the Sahaba remember him. They remember him. If they see him even from a distance, they're not even gonna ask questions. Because this guy's dangerous, right? He can throw a spear from a distance, you're gonna get killed. So when people are coming in huge numbers to accept Islam and to meet with the prophet to give him bail, to pledge their hand to him, and there's a line formed and people are coming in meeting, he clothed his face, to come to meet with the school sites.

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And he finally got to the point where he's right in front of the Prophet sites. He removes his cloak, the prophet recognizes him. Rasul Seisen recognizes him and when he recognizes that face, what memories are coming back to the Prophet slicin. Um, what happened with his uncle?

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And he said, aren't you? And he said, Yes, I am. Now it's too late for him to get killed. Yeah. Because now he's in. He's in Amman, he's in safety. The Prophet asked him, How did you do it? What happened? He didn't want to say but the Prophet made him tell him. He made him tell him.

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We know Allah has already guaranteed for any sins you have committed before we know what happened with armorial katavi Allahu taala. And others, how they believe how they will read kill because of him so many Sahaba killed at and he's one of our heroes. Why? Because once you accept Islam, previous sins are forgiven. This man killed someone the prophets I said, I'm deeply loved and now he's accepted Islam. And after hearing that story, of course, he's still forgiven but the Prophet slice I'm told him, but I can't bear to see you.

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He couldn't see him. He moved far away somewhere. He couldn't look at him. In the end, Russell's iclm is also a human. And when he sees this man he remembers the mutilated body of his beloved uncle.

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He remembers all of what happened. So it's hard for him to process that. You know what, while the prophet saw them has accepted that this man is Muslim, and his previous sin, including the murder of his uncle is forgiven, that doesn't mean that he's over it. That doesn't mean that it still doesn't cause him pain. But you see how in our religion, those two things are separate, somebody might still be hurt by what you did. But that doesn't mean that Allah hasn't forgiven you.

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Allah has forgiven you,

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even if the one you hurt was Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. Can you imagine, even if that was the case, so we have to clean up our thoughts about how forgiveness works, we also have to realize from a story like this one, that if you really hurt somebody badly, you said a lot of bad things about them. You spread rumors about them, you humiliated them, you cheated them, you did all kinds of bad things to them. And their life became very difficult because of you. If that happened, and years later, you feel bad, right, and you don't want them coming after you on Judgement Day. So you decide to pick up the phone or call or show up at their house and ring the bell, please don't ring that

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bell. Please don't make that phone call. because that in itself can be an act of mercilessness it may be just hearing your voice can trigger them again, it can cause bring back all those bad memories. That might be a difficult thing for them. That's too selfish of you and me that we think we can just call somebody or face somebody say hey, sorry, you know that you know, those fingers of yours chopped off sorry about that. I feel really bad I realized now that that was wrong.

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Don't expect somebody to be so understanding.

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And put yourself in those shoes. If you saw a person like that even if they said sorry, maybe you just want to stay away now. If you don't, you don't want that person in your view. So out of Rockman to them maybe if there's room for reconciliation, that's something else. But our deal is about estate in us like you don't talk to somebody, you don't engage with somebody until you know that they'll feel good about it. This is not about how you're gonna feel this is about how they're going to feel you've done it you and I've done enough damage. So you don't have to put ourselves on them. Right but if you find from other sources, they're okay to talk to you. That's a different story.

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That's a different category altogether. Right so this is what I wanted to dedicate this whole by to this this concept that you know lobby enable them to enough see fiddly for her for Allah, Allah forgive him. Allah forgive him even though the crime isn't against Allah, the crime is against a human being. So when we do wrong when we seek Allah's forgiveness, if we fall into hopelessness, I know I said, that's the last thing, but I forgot this and it's critical. If you don't get out of this hopelessness, if you find yourself in this situation, and you don't get out of this hopelessness, then you know what's going to happen next two things. What's the point of me doing any

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good now anywhere, I'm going to go to hell anyway.

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And I can't even live with myself, I don't even want to think about myself. I hate myself. And you hate yourself so much that you want to do an activity that makes you forget about everything. And you know what those activities are, pretty much all of them are haram. Every one of them is haram. So you become addicted to evil activities, only because that becomes an escape for you. That can become a very addictive escape because you can't live with yourself. I can't bear the thoughts, the memories the burden of my previous sins. But Allah removed that burden from us, because He gave us the door of Toba. When you're tobei sincere, your heart is resentful. You're full of shame. And you

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turn to Allah and you beg Allah to forgive, and you make a commitment to Allah that you will do your utmost best to never fall into that trap again, then it's over, then you don't have to relive that sin over and over again. That's what shaitan would want you to do. Now it's time for you to do right replace that bad with good things instead. So I pray that Allah azza wa jal helps us come out of that cycle of negativity, those of us that are suffering from it. And those of us that may be suffering from it silently, they haven't told anybody. They're too ashamed to tell anybody, maybe these words can be of some benefit to them, that they can find that there's a way for them to come

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back to Allah and really find a way to honor themselves again, you know, Allah has honored human beings, and chatline wants to see us humiliated and if Allah has honored human beings, just like I need to honor you and honor you and honor you, I also have to honor myself. It's our gift for me to humiliate myself either. Don't degrade yourself. May Allah azza wa jal Baker's those who honor others and honor ourselves for what Allah has given us and allow us a way back to make healthy doba to him BarakAllahu li Walakum feel for Anil Hakeem. When finally we can be it was Hakeem.

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Al hamdu lillahi Wa Kafa wa salatu salam ala Abadi. healthiness Topher su Susana Allah follow him Mahatama in the beginning Mohamed El Amin while early he was a big man, called Allah azza wa jal fue Kitab al Karim Banda an Akula Aruba bIllahi min ash shaytaan de

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