Nouman Ali Khan – Don’t Live an Empty Life
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of avoiding behavior that can lead to embarrassment and negative perception. They stress the need to be mindful of one's behavior and not try to be fast or slow. They also discuss the concept of "monaggressiveness" and the importance of protecting children from exposure to danger and avoiding isolate oneself from bad people.AI: Transcript ©
In Alhamdulilah, as a mother who want to study who want to sell Philip, when he when I taught karate whenever we let him and surely unforeseen a woman say he Melina, when you have the La, La La, La La, La La La La
La ilaha illallah wa, Ala Moana shadow Mohammed Abdullah he Rasulullah sallallahu taala Buddha Would
you rather Dini coup de la COVID de shahida for Salalah alayhi wa seldom at the Sleeman kathira, the hero and maganda in DC Keita Ba ba ba hi Ron howdy howdy Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but in the short run moody masataka in nakoula
wakulla beratan Bala pakula Birkenfeld Now,
a lot more intelligent cricketer Kareem brother and a Buddha administrator Najim
whether to serve the colonists he will attempt she fit of the model her in the law you have bucola medallion for who
is somebody with a silly MD? Dr. tambien besondere Coco Lee, Allah Sabbath and mot de la ilaha illa Allah, Allah Medina, Amina Latina, Amina Amina Saudi has also been happy, but also the southern Armenia. But I mean,
once again, everyone, so I'm radical Morocco to like follow barakato. And this week, I will be speaking with you continuing the conversation from last time I had number 18 of sort of look, man, the advice a father is giving to his son. The first part of that advice for the most part, I spoke to you about what to say I have the cleanest don't turn your cheek away from people, meaning don't turn your face from people. And we try to analyze what the implications of that phrase could be. There's one thing I left out that I realized I should have mentioned last time. So I'll start with that. And we'll pick up on the remainder of that.
And hopefully cover that today. So turning away from someone,
the I did not specify the reasons for it. This is an important observation. So Allah did not say don't turn your face away from people out of arrogance, or don't turn your face away from people out of, you know, pride, pride, anger, arrogance, or dismissal, whatever else right. So there could be a multitude of circumstances and any number of reasons where a person might feel they're justified in acting a certain way towards somebody else. And they can tell themselves, we're very good at rationalizing our own behavior. So if I do something terrible, I can say yeah, I know that's terrible, but and then we have a set of excuses for myself that justify what I did. So even though I
know it's bad, I can tell myself it's not that bad. Right? So what Allah did here is he didn't give the the the bad reasoning, because then somebody can even tell themselves well, I didn't do it for that reason, therefore, it's not that bad. Right? So he kind of made it a blanket statement of not turning away now. One of its manifestations that I think we should think about really seriously think about is
there's this there's this notion in,
in the Quran about making someone feel worthless,
making someone feel not worthy of even a conversation making someone feel a little to make someone feel little and actually the the concept of being little and being humiliated or associated with each other. So sabar in the Quran, which comes from the word soul here so it is small, so hard is actually humiliation. And when the devil was being removed from the company of Allah and the angels and all of that when he was being expelled a lot hold him in neck, Amina Salahuddin you are from those that are small. In other words, you're humiliated and you're insignificant, you're being made insignificant. Now, how do you make somebody feel small?
You know, you and I can be in a difficult conversation and or, you know, or somebody says something we didn't want to be didn't want to hear or you hear something outrageous. And it you know, you want to give a response and you decide not to give a response, you decide to just stay quiet. Right? That's a good thing, instead of being impulsive and exploding on somebody, and putting them in your mind putting them in their place or giving them a zinger right back. Oh, yeah. If you can say that. I can say 10 more things to you. Or I can raise my voice we've already studied in the Quran, that's actually coming to lower your voice. Right. So and I added a ninja he didn't ignore people that are
being outrageous. That's there too. But being silent when somebody is being erratic when somebody is being outrageous, that's something else. This ayah is about something else. This I can also apply it in us doing something wrong. When somebody is talking to you. One way you can avoid dealing with something. If somebody comes to talk to you, hey, I need to I need to talk to you about what happened last week.
I need to bring up that issue with you. And you don't have time for this.
Don't bring it up. No, I'm not gonna deal with it. Don't waste my time. All not that again.
One way or the other, you're just you avoid the subject by not dealing with it at all. And that's another kind of turning your cheek. And this could be also done by, hey, I need to talk to you no response, I need you to tell me what's going up no response. And you know, what they call the silent treatment to somebody so you can be you know, driving together, and you're asking, you know, your parent or a parent and asking child or siblings or asking each other. Hey, so how was your day? No answer. What's going on? No answer. complete silence. And when you give somebody complete silence in their mind, why are they ignoring me? Why aren't they answering anything? I'm saying? Are they angry
with me? Did I do something wrong? Are they you know, upset with me? Or they just ignoring me? Because I don't think there's all kinds of negative thoughts that come out. Don't don't pay. The point being if you don't make yourself clear, and you think that your sound and your songs can be for good reasons. Or I was silent, because I was thinking about something I was lost in, thought I was distracted, could be something innocent. Or I was silent, because I was just thinking of how to respond that I couldn't come up with an answer quickly. Or I couldn't respond. Because you know, in fact, I was angry, and I was thinking the wrong thing. So I wanted to calm down before I answered,
you can do that later. But in the moment, when you ignore somebody and not respond to them, it's better for you and I to be straightforward in our speech and say, Hey, I don't want to, I can't respond right now. I'm not feeling okay. Or I don't think my response is going to be healthy at this moment. But we can talk about this a little later. And if you have in family, those kinds of situations, it's on me and on you when somebody says that to us to say, I understand We'll talk about it later, instead of What do you mean, you can't talk about it right now, the person is already overwhelmed, we poke at them some more, until they explode. Let them be, let them be. But if
you and I start just ignoring a person completely on, they're just not even saying that I need space, not even saying that I need to think about it. Not even saying I'm a little bit upset, right? Now, let me just calm down or whatever, if you need to say something to say. Or if you say I don't have a response at the moment, or I don't want to talk about this. That's okay. But at least you give a dignified response. silence on its own and just completely ignoring someone is not a dignified response. It's actually an arrogant response. Whether you're being arrogant or not, it will be received as arrogance by somebody else. It'll be received as I'm not worthy of a response,
you think I'm worthless. And that's how it will be perceived. And that can become a form of arrogance. So it's not just about well, I didn't mean that. So it's okay. It's not just about what you and I mean, it's also about the effect on somebody else's feelings. You see. So it's not always just about intentions. It's also sometimes about unintended consequences, and turning our face away from somebody. Ignoring somebody or giving somebody the silent treatment, even if we may have justified reasons, can actually have unintended consequences. And they're being avoided. They're being so the intention has been removed from the equation, just to get away from that habit. Just
don't ignore somebody just for the purpose of ignoring them. Whatever your reasons are, if you need to ignore them, if you need to take the space, what do you even know? Carranza? mahamudra Luna calu Salama, they respond peacefully, Salama, can be a while there, too, not just enough Ruby. So it could be they respond, singing peace, and it could be they respond in a peaceful manner and say, I, you know, we don't want to, you know, you know, we don't want to engage in this conversation further. Or even when Allah says, when they when they walk into a company of conversation or a social gathering, in which there is, no, there is useless talk going on, or there's evil
conversation going on. He says Maru kerama, they passed by dignified, what that means is they maintain their dignity. And they also don't humiliate the people that are doing the wrong thing. They like they can they can maintain, you know, a sanctimonious approach for themselves. And for others, they can actually be dignified for themselves and others, even if they don't want to take part in something wrong. So we have to be mindful of that. But now we come to today's subject matter what a lot connected, these concepts are connected with each other. The next advice he's giving his son in the same is well, Adam Schiff is the mother in law, hello, UK, bucola muscadine, for whom I'm
going to dedicate a little bit of time in this football to two words model, and for whom those are kind of a little bit difficult words, or rich words, and I don't think we should pass over them quickly. In fact, there are three words there's not a and there is, you know, more style, and there's four holes, so we're kind of getting muddled is easier. So we'll give a little bit less time to that. But Monaghan forhold are more rare, and I think we need to really dig into what they mean and get the most out of this. ayah. So let's talk about this word, Mara. What is the lesson he said?
Don't walk on the earth with Mara. So I won't translate that word yet. Don't walk on the earth with Mara, right now. Simple transitions might say don't walk on the earth with arrogance. Don't walk walk on the earth with pride. Don't walk on the earth overconfidence, but as you'll see, there's much more to it than that. And that's not even the direct implication of the word. So as to say you will be caught in working farming, as not in my sequel, The overall meaning of the words that come from this root mean raw and ha, is actually when something exits something smoothly or easily, you know, easily exiting one thing from the other. So what are the examples of that? Masada Marie has a
lot of SQL knife, it's a container, that's, that's madiha. From the same word, a metal container is one that water leaks out of it easily. So water now escapes easily from it. Okay, what
on earth piece of land that's memorize is when the plants come out of it very easily. What goes on model and a bow is called motor work from the same origin. When the arrow goes pretty quick out of it, it releases quickly out of that boat. What I known Mimara and I is called bimala. When it's easy for a person, they cry easily, like the waterworks Come out quickly, right. So this is should I say Aloha, but he had the line when the I was having Mara, it meant that the the tears wouldn't stop, they just kept easily flowing and flowing and flowing.
But he had to move in Nevada, Florida to the earth, again, plants coming out quickly would be very hot and out. And then when the crop comes out, and finally the grain pops open, easily releases, that's also called models. So and the most interesting use of it is actually used for a horse. So they say, for us in Morocco, they say for a horse that is Maru is that when it's grazing like it's it's so hungry and over hyperactive that it's grabbing some, you know grass from here leaves from there and running around like crazy, because it's so hungry, that it's erratic. You can think of it as a person being literal, when they're at a dinner table at a fire time. Right, and they've been
holding back. And as soon as a thought happens, they're like grabbing stuff, right? They're being Maru. Like, it's almost like they're quickly releasing their hands and grabbing and grabbing at whatever they can. So the overall meaning of this word, actually is to be
to be impulsive. And to be very quick to act, to be very quick to do something, to and to have no sense of direction. So even that horse has described yesterday while you're at buena, buena de la escuela, salmon, sugar and cocoa in a shop, that the horse that is disturbed, it's moving around, it's not sitting still is very jittery, because it's feeling hungry. When the father is telling his son don't walk on the earth with Mara. He's saying don't go hanging out, or don't go outside engaging the world because there's times where you're home, right. And then there's times you go out, you go out for work, you got to hang out with friends, you got to get food, whatever it is,
don't leave the home, don't go anywhere and be impulsive. Or I want to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, and you have no purpose in what you're doing. You're just jumping from one thing to the next to the next to the next. You know, a crazy example of that is sometimes there are of course, different cultures in the world, right? So people come from very conservative societies to America. So somebody may have been raised in a very religious or very traditional, you know, village, or in the NBA, not even be Muslim. They may even be you know, Hindu or Christian or whatever, but very cultural, conservative background, or we think
of a Muslim family and somebody who's raised in this joint family system, and there's a lot of respect for elders, and you watch your speech. And you watch the way you walk, and you watch the way you dress and the way you sit in the way you eat. And then they land in America. And they're a student, and they have a student visa, and they're going to the university. And the university has, you know, parties on the weekend and they've got fraternities and they've got you know, Hangouts and the student, the other students in the dorms are doing drugs, and everybody's got a relationship of one kind, or the other and all kinds of stuff. They're just bombarded with this stuff. And somebody
can take those values that they were holding on to, but like that bow that releases the arrow without effort. They just let go of all of those values, and they just, they got exposed to a new world. And they become mother. And this is a very powerful bit of advice because we have kids, for example, we want to raise them in an Islamic environment in a protected sheltered environment. So whether you live in America, Australia, Lahore, you know DACA it doesn't matter where you live, you want to protect your kids, and you want to make sure that they receive positive reinforcement about this is good for you. This is bad for you. Hey, what are you watching? Hey, what are you going
online? Hey, let me see that. Who are you on the phone with? We're checking what they do.
It's natural, right? So we're trying to create a sheltered environment for them wherever we may be. But you know what this father realizes, they're not going to stay home, these birds are gonna fly off the nest, they're gonna go outside. And when they go outside, all the things, I protected them from all the things that I didn't want them to just spill into. All the things I didn't want them to be exposed to, they're going to get hit with all of it all at the same time.
They're just going to get over over the sensory overload, there's going to be so much access to so much wrongdoing, and I'm not going to have any control over it. And he's saying in those moments, because now you have the ability, you have the appetite, you have the curiosity, you have the ability, you have the perception of freedom, right? And then and that especially in that moment, when somebody tries to give you good advice, you can turn your cheek, you can just want to hear this. Right?
So in that moment, you can become impulsive and not think twice about how you're violating others and yourself.
And that is a form of arrogance. So by extension, it becomes arrogance by extension, because arrogance is a lack of consideration for anybody else but yourself. When Adam Schiff is
the word model here, you know, Hassan, Hassan, Jamil added an insight of his own and I really liked his insight and his lexicon. He said, at the same minute, what bobbitt rather be it is me ultimately it is me Bihar, and which would include even NEMA. He said this is when someone slips out, like the plants slips out of the earth, like the arrow slips out of the bow, like the water slips out of the container, right, is when a person slips out of their value system is when someone leaks, you know, they, they lose themselves, and the values that we're holding them and containing them, they no longer commit themselves to them, it's too easy, it becomes too easy for them to let them go.
It's too easy for them to let them go. And so and when is it letting go he says NW the EU at the moment they find power and blessings. What he means by that is when you're independent, and you can do it, who's gonna stop me, that's power. Blessings means you got money, you got strength, you got you, Allah has blessed you with the ability for you know, transportation, your appearance, whatever it may be, now you've got these blessings, now I can do what I want with them. The father is telling his son, listen, you're going to feel powerful, capable of doing whatever you feel like whatever impulse comes to you. And that's going to be a trial that you have. But it's interesting that he put
these two seemingly unrelated bits of advice next to each other. He said first don't turn don't scoff at people. And then don't be impulsive, basically. Right? What is the connection between these two you could be as we contemplate that we can think about how when we become you know, we come of age, we basically the old expression is per nickel iron. Right? A person, you know, comes in their own and they kind of you know, the expression means they've sprouted wings, meaning they act like they're, you're not a kid anymore. I can, you can tell me what to do. Right? I'm not a baby anymore, dad, or mom. So they become their own person. And in that moment, when they become their own person,
it is when they become extremely averse, extremely hostile to any kind of advice.
And actually, it is a time when because you're hostile to any kind of advice. You develop this shell around you, which is constantly putting others down or dismissing others. The modern way of doing that that captures so many young people around the world that are coming into adulthood is the word whatever, you whatever everything in the world, anybody's giving you, whatever. And you don't have to say whatever. You can just say half the syllables and what have what have or you can just roll your eyes. Mm hmm.
Oh, God, here we go again. Or you could just take a deep breath of, you know, this day
edenia you could just say that with your face. Are you done giving your lecture yet? Can I just go live my life now.
This is not to say
you don't have to disrespect someone by raising your voice and getting angry. You can just dismiss someone and dishonor them. And now that you've dismissed them and you can't hear their voice anymore, or their advice anymore, now you're left to your own devices. What Adam Schiff is the mother Ha. He's, he's putting those two things together, perhaps because he understands that when a person stops listening to the advice of others, that's when they become impulsive. So having people in our life that can give us advice that can give us the benefit of their wisdom. And keeping an open ear and an open heart towards them is an important part.
Life
and then we'll let them feel of the,
you know, this isn't even spiritual in nature. There are other kinds of other experiences in life that apply to this. Because even like Manuel de l'homme, unsettledness. Don't scoff away from people, like I have non Muslim friends who were into drugs, alcohol, crime, getting in trouble, you know, get you name it right. And then later on in school, and they hated their teachers, but one teacher decides to give them advice, and show them, show them the ropes and say, hey, you're talented, this, maybe you can get a job in this. And that one teacher that one positive influence on the person turns their life around. Right, because they didn't turn away from that one teacher.
without, you know, this is not good enough. And had they not had that person, they would have been impulsive and doing all kinds of things and ruining their future. And they look back and say, I saved myself, you know, and I, we look at it as a loss save this person, because they have had someone that they condition to, you know, so this, this happens in the world, not just in the Muslim sense, but in humanity, this happens. So this these are the two bits of advice that he starts off the side with, that
he will Adam Schiff is fine. But beyond that, he says in Allah Allah, Allah medallion for Paul,
he says certainly Allah does not love anyone who is more style. And for the next two words, by the way, one last comment about the maybe probably in the next week, we'll do more styling together, because I've taken enough time already. But one last comment about these two words. About the first two words, were the first two phrases were turning your face, and also being Mara, right. Noticing The first of them Allah mentioned, people love to have that kindness. So people are mentioned. And in the second one, it's not about people it's all about you
is what atoms, you fill out the Maha there is no mention that people don't walk on the earth with Mara, in a state of Mara, and there's no mention of what's the what's the benefit of knowing that.
Allah is telling us who the person is at the devil's disposal, when they have cut themselves off from good people.
The Devil's whisper comes from this direction, that direction, that direction. And when there is no good people around you, then you are you're susceptible to this whisper then this was for then that was for that was fair. So the first thing is, don't isolate yourself from good people by dismissing them.
That's the first step. And if you are doing that, then you are handing yourself over to these the world of evil and negative thoughts that are inside you that can pull you in any direction whenever, especially when you go into the outside world, the strangers that you're going to meet the people that are going to be in the marketplace, the people that are going to be in a you know, in the university on campus, the people that you're going to meet at school, the people that are going to be working with you. Those are not necessarily people who care about your well being.
They don't care about your well being they care about themselves. But many of them will represent invitations to do something wrong.
Right. So those people will have some allure to them. And you'll be drawn towards them. But they don't mean well for you. And you'd rather hang out with people that don't criticize you. So you don't want to be around anyone who keeps it real with you and tells it to you like it is so people who tell you like it is you just want to keep your distance from them you've already you know sat out the back alley Lynas, you've already turned your cheek away from them. Now you become what Adam Schiff is of the model, then that second bit of advice come so it's actually doesn't matter how, what a social butterfly you are, it doesn't matter how many online friends you have, and how many
people know you and how popular you are. Or you can make friends anywhere you go. Those kinds of people that are super outgoing and have friends everywhere. Watch out because sometimes they're their worst connections are the people closest to the
people closest to them are the ones they dismiss the most ignore the most. They're so nice outside, so horrible inside. And that's actually that that's, that's the kind of fake life. That's the kind of fake set of connections and that's actually what's going to be commented on in that last comment where Allah says in the law Hello, hey bucola Matalan for her. So we'll wrap up that discussion and then next football, because I certainly didn't want to rush through these phrases and these IR because I think they're a value and it's something that we should really think about for ourselves and the young people that are listening. You know, I don't want myself for you to hear these words.
And say man, I can think of somebody that this applies to 100%.
Man is he talking about his kids and then you're sharing it with your cousin saying look, here's a here's a football about bush or our cousin. Or look, this is a I think this is about you somebody sends a and you can use us for insults.
This is about you. I think you should really listen to it. You know this is the height of the problem. Because this is you. Ironically turning scoffing at people turning your
Chico away from people, as if the IR are about them a criticism of them and they have nothing to do with me. I pray Allah allows me to look in the mirror to find these faults in myself and address them. And I pray Allah allows all of you to look in the mirror and find those faults in yourselves and address them for yourselves. And I pray Allah protects our young generation from these kinds of character flaws and makes them a better example for the world than we could ever be. barakallahu li walakum Hakeem when finally it was decreed Hakim
hamdu lillahi wa salatu wa salam O Allah, Allah demon Safa Susana, Allah for him. ohata mina bien Mohamed el amin, for Allah Allah He was happy as marine Allah azza wa jal tambien Karim rather an akula let him initiate on the regime in a lahoma eketahuna saloon Allah Nabhi amanu sallu alayhi wa sallam
Allahumma salli ala Muhammad Ali Muhammad Allah tala Rahim Allah Allah Haemophilia alameen in the Gambia Majid Allahumma barik ala Muhammad Ali Muhammad Ali Ibrahim Ibrahim al al amin in the middle Majid about the La la de la Ilaha
Gandhi's Russia mooncup political ally Akbar, Allahu Allah, Allah insalata Mini Nikita makuta
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