Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
Nouman Ali Khan provides an elaborate lecture on Halal and Haram.
Allah has put many things in this world for us to use and consume and yet we remain thankless and show ingratitude. Good things are Halal and impure and filthy things are made Haram for us. The Halal things are actually a preview of sorts of what we shall attain in Jannah.
Halal is that which means permitted, allowed, lawful, or legal. Haram is that which is forbidden and unlawful. Determining what is halal and haram was a major issue before the advent of Islam and hence, many items were permitted that were impure and harmful and many things were forbidden that was good and pure.
What happens when we knowingly or unknowingly forbid something for ourselves or for others but it is Halal from Allah? The answers are provided in the most simple and explicit manner.
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when a lot put human beings on the earth, He made much of what is on this earth available to us. That's something we should use, we should enjoy we should make use of and be grateful to him, which another comfy hammer is vanilla matter school. He said he put in this world lots of things, all kinds of things that you can use for your life, how little you show gratitude. Other places in the Quran, he made it more specific and said Gulu mama fill out the halal anti Eva, eat from whatever consumed from whatever is on this earth. That is permissible halaal it's allowed. And even that is good and pure. And you can look at halal until he has two qualities meaning one of the ways of
looking at it is whatever Allah made allowed, is good. It had to be good for a lotta allow it. In another place, he clarifies that the only things he made impermissible not allowed, what we call haraam. He says you have any more other human life, filthy things is what he made Haram. So things that are dirty and filthy, and no good for us are things that he made impermissible and the vast majority of what he put on this earth he made permissible for us, here are a handful of things that you and I must stay away from everything else is allowed. Now, whatever Allah has given us is an act of less love, is an act of less care. And one of the ways you can think about the things that Allah
has given us that are permissible, that are inactive or less love is that many of the things he's given us, he says, or it almost sounds like they're a preview of what he will give us in general. As a matter of fact, we were created so we can inherit gender that he made for us. That's the purpose for which we were created. This is not our actual home. This is a temporary residents, our permanent residents is Jenna. And so he says about Jenna that like a human body soon people that will go into agenda are the people who inherit gender. Inheritance means that it's already yours. It belongs to your ancestors, and you're going back to what's already in your name. You didn't buy it, you didn't
earn it, it was actually inherited. Right? So the idea is that we're going to go back to our final home but when he describes that gender in the Quran, he describes it as a place with rivers and fruits and trees and amazing food, you know, meat, you know, meat, meat that comes from birds like chicken or quail and things like that. He says, Well, you know, we're like we played him in my ear stone from the kind that they love, the flesh of birds that they love to eat. So he
refers to things that we have experienced from in this life, and then refers to the next life. The point being, that Allah, even though we're not in heaven yet, is giving us a small taste, maybe not, you know, multiply that by infinity, how much more better it's going to be how much more incredible it's going to be. But regardless, this is still an act of love and care from Allah, that he made so much of this world permissible for us Hello for us.
And I want to start with that. And then I want to add something before I actually share a story with you today. That belongs that that informs the first lessons of sutra,
which is an incident from the Prophet's life. So
the thing I want to share with you is the word haraam. It doesn't just refer to something that Allah does not allow. Of course, it refers to that too. And it primarily refers to that. So there are certain kinds of animals, we're not allowed to eat those animals or hot up, there are certain things you're not supposed to drink, those are hot, etc, right? There are certain acts that are hot on that everybody understands that. But how long in Arabic also means to deprive yourself, or to deny yourself something like for example, if you say, Man, I hate that pizza place, I'm never going back there again, you made that it's not haram By Allah, but you made it haram for yourself. That's not
the word Haram in the religious sense. That's actually the word Haram in that you have denied you have deprived yourself, or you have forbidden yourself from ever going to this place again. Or it could be that somebody had a business deal, and the business deal went bad. And they said, Man, I'm never giving those people my business again. So you may be dealing with them harm on yourself. That doesn't mean that it's haram by Allah standards. That means that you have decided, no more, I will not give them access, I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to deal with them ever again. This is also a kind of haram from the Arabic point of view. Now having those two things in mind a quick
synopsis of the story that I really want to share with you today. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he was in Medina,
he had a lot of responsibilities. So he was the governor of Medina, he had to take care of a military situation. There were people in Mecca that were still thirsty for the blood of the Muslims. And they're still trying to gather intelligence and try to find ways of attacking Medina. There are also people inside Medina that are pretending to be Muslim, but are actually spies and working with the enemy and sending them intelligence information. So there's an internal problem and espionage problem, a spy problem inside of Medina, there are other tribes like the Jewish tribes of blucora, who lead etc, these tribes, we have treaties with them, that we're going to defend Medina together.
But some of the people of those tribes are making conspiracies that if they do get attacked from the outside, they'll actually attack from the inside, that's also happening. And there are even actually, some of you may know, there are attempts to kill the Prophet sallallahu sallam, you know, by way of assassination, those kinds of things are happening in Medina. But besides in addition to all of this war situation, and you know, this, these military and these security concerns that are taking place, at the same time, the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam is also Imam of the masjid. He's also the one that has to teach the people religion. It's also anybody who has any problem somebody
has a problem in their marriage, somebody has a problem with their, with their, you know, their health, somebody has a problem with someone else, some dispute, who do they come to, they come to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, they asked him questions, somebody has a question about religion, is this allowed us not allowed? What should I do? What can I you know, what can I say? Tell me something that will bring me closer to Allah. anybody has any kind of question? They come to the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam. So he has to deal with governance, he has to deal with counseling, he has to deal with leading the community, he has to his hand is in everything, he has to make sure
everything's okay. And he has to balance all of that. And on top of that, he is in charge of several households, our mothers, his wives, he has to make sure they all have time for him to because he's the head of all of those households. And so when he has all of those responsibilities, he had a schedule. I mean, that schedule of all of the mothers of the believers, his wives, he would give each of them a certain amount of time. Because there's all this other pressure and work on the outside, you have to have some set schedule, at least, that each of them gets a certain amount of time. So he would spend time equally as much as he can with each one of them. And one of them
brought him honey, and he she knew that he loves honey. And when he gave him that honey, he loved it. He really enjoyed eating it. And he's got a lot of pressure from the outside. So he's relaxing, and he's enjoying some of that honey. And he didn't realize that a little extra time went by, because everybody has a set amount of time. But now he's spending a little extra time because he's enjoying this meal. And he lost track of time. And as a result, he's giving one of those wives a little more time. When he gets to the next wife. She's getting lesser of her time of his time. And this started becoming sort of a habit because she realized I got some extra time because I had this
honey with me. So she keeps bringing it and so he keeps consuming it and he keeps getting late becomes a pattern. Now the next wife really
As I've been getting 10 minutes less, I began 20 minutes less, this is a problem. Now there's too few options. She could just come out and say it to him. She could say, actually also Lola, you know, you've been spending lesser time with me. And I think that that's not fair. And I need more time with you, etc. She didn't say that. She decided to try a more indirect approach
and say to him, so Allahu alayhi wa sallam.
What's that smell?
In, she kind of tried to say that the the smell from the honey is a bad smell. So when he's with his next wife, she says that smell is a little strange. And he felt terrible that his wife is now uncomfortable from the smell. So he says, I'm never going to have that honey again. I'll never have that, honey, I'll never have it again. Mission accomplished. Right? Because now he's not going to do that. Now she'll get her time back. And that plan of keeping him longer is intact. In response to this small incident, Allah revealed sorta to him. So number 66 of the Quran. And Allah says to the prophet SAW Selim, yeah, you happen to be prophet Lima to have a MOBA, halala hulak? Why do you
deprive yourself? Why do you prohibit yourself? Something Allah has allowed for you?
Why do you prohibit what Allah has allowed for you? What's he referring to the honey? He says, Why are you making it haram for yourself? He didn't say it's Haram. He just said I won't eat it anymore. Because she doesn't like the smell that says his logic. And Allah says de la Mata is logic you're doing so in order to make one of your spouses or your spouses happy, you're doing this in order to keep them happy, you're depriving yourself of something ultimate Hello, because you want to make sure they stay happy. And Allah says, Allah who have fought over him, and allies forgiving, he's always loving, always caring, always merciful. I started somewhere else, I didn't start this club,
but with a story. I started this whole bar by telling you that Allah has made things halal in this world, because they're beneficial for us, because He loves us, because he wants us to enjoy them. Because when we enjoy those things, we are more grateful to Allah. That's one of the purposes Allah made things good things happen for us, then what's the importance of this ayah? And what do we learn from this I and by the way, this is the first I have to tell you, and the very next is his advice to you and me. So the first is his advice and guidance to the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam. And the next is for everybody else could follow the law who like home, the hell outta Monica, but I'll get
to that in a second. You see, what's happening here is there's a difference between what Allah wants for you, unless has something is okay. Allah says something is okay for you. But sometimes you and I are in relationships. And those relationships could be a husband and a wife. It could be siblings, it could be friends, it could be parents, it could be children. And those those, that family member, somebody or someone close to you says, I know that this is halau. But I still don't want you to have it. Because if you love me, you won't have it. And they may not say that directly, they're kind of putting a pressure on you. A little bit of pressure on you, for you to deprive yourself and deny
yourself something that ally is okay with you having. And sometimes in such relationships, what a person does is, I love you so much Fine. I won't do it anymore. You know, somebody might say for example, a wife might say to the husband, you know, if you love me, you're not gonna go out. You know, your friend who comes once a month, and you guys go get great pizza. I don't like him. If you love me, you're not going to go out with him.
Or she won't say directly. She'll just say no, no, go ahead. Why don't you just go because you don't care about your family, right? Go ahead. And he'll say no, no, okay, okay, I won't go. I'll never call them again. I'll never talk to him again. Okay. She may have a reason she may not have a reason. But she's making it sound like my, your loyalty to me, your love for me must mean you must deprive yourself of something else. It may be sometimes people go to extreme measures. Somebody says her husband says to the wife, oh, yeah, you're, you know, you wanted to go visit your mom, I don't want you to do that.
You know, because I'm going to be really upset if you lose your mom, it's completely permissible for a wife to visit her mother to spend time with her. But now he's put a condition on her as if she's somehow betraying him. You know, this is not just done between husband and wife, parents do this. And you know, many families in the world, they are, for example, divorced parents. And when, you know, parents get divorced, sometimes things are end on good terms, like a law wants them to. And sometimes they don't end on good terms. So the mother and the father hate each other, and they use the children. So don't make the children feel bad for spending time with the father or spending time
with the mother. Right? And they're making they're making them feel and every child has a right to spend and love and respect both their parents. And for them to feel like if I'm spending time with Dad, I must be doing something wrong to mom. Or if I'm spending time with Mom, I must be running dad somehow. The parents are making them feel like they're doing something wrong. They're making something haram for them, depriving them of something that a lot did not. Allah wants them to have it Allah wants them to be
Happy, but to pay, you know somebody in the family is not letting you do that. Now what does that do? When you deprive yourself of things that you're actually allowed, just because you want to make somebody else happy, you think that that's going to make them happy. And they keep asking more and more of you and you start giving up more and more and more of yourself. You know, you don't do this anymore. You don't do that anymore. You, you give up parts of your life, because you're out of love for someone else. Sometimes people give up all kinds of things. I've met people that say, Oh, I'm 4045 years old, I never got married, because I wanted to take care of my parents.
Taking care of your parents has nothing to do with getting married. You could have gotten married, and you could have had 12 children. And that still doesn't mean your parents rights were taken away. Those two are completely separate things. This person made something haram on themselves, in order to make someone else happy. Allah told the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam, even if you say you're not going to have a little bit of honey, so small thing, little bit of honey, don't even allow a little bit of that in your life. If Allah says it's okay, nobody else comes to get until you no matter how much you love them, that it's not okay.
What Allah has made okay for you, you should not be guilty about wanting it or consuming it or having it because Allah has made it allowed. Yes, if you're going to do something that takes somebody else's rights, that wrong, somebody else. That's something else. I'm not saying, you know, that if so long as it's hell, I'll do whatever you want. No, no, no, because even if something is hard, you might be using it in a wrong way. And if this wife, this mother of the believers, if she's saying, I don't mind you having the honey, I just don't want you having my time taken away. That's perfectly fine. That's her right? That's completely her right? So there's a way to demand your
rights without imposing on somebody else that they need to deprive themselves of something or the other. Because what does that do over time. And this happens in relationships all the time. A person denies themselves deprived, deprived themselves doesn't do what they wanted to do. You know, there there are people, for example, a young man wants to get in, all kinds of people come and share their stories with me. And sometimes I'm just left holding my head, like, how do I even begin to address this? I'm just in shock. You know, there's one time this family came to me and they had three daughters. And the second daughter had a proposal that, you know, somebody wanted to marry this
daughter, the second daughter, but the older one was not married yet. So the father said, No, because in our family, we have to get the older one married first. And so the second one kept getting proposals. And he kept rejecting them, even though she wanted to get married. Because that would look bad. It looked bad, because the older ones not married, and the younger one already got married. And this is something we'll I will ask about a level ask about that. Because you you deprive somebody of a right that Allah gave them. Just because they're under your care does not mean they're your slaves, they are still slaves of Allah, and what Allah allowed for them, you and I
don't have a right to deprive, I don't own my children. I have an A minor from Allah.
And this is why when somebody dies, what do we remind ourselves, we belong to Allah, and to Him alone, we return we don't own anybody. We don't own anybody. The opposite is the case. Sometimes there are people that are in abusive relationships, you know, and sometimes marriages work and sometimes marriages don't work. Sometimes their marriages become very ugly. It's become a place of sometimes physical torture. Sometimes it's become a place of emotional torture, psychological torture, humiliation, backbiting, insults, families hating each other husband and wife fighting in front of the children, things are getting uglier, and uglier and uglier. And the daughter says, to
her own parents, he says, I know that I wanted to marry this person, but he's become someone else. He has this problem and this problem and you know, the children are suffering. And I don't know if I can do this anymore. It's too humiliating. His family says these things to me. He says these things to me, and I can't take it anymore. I'd like to leave this marriage. And the father says, oh, the mother says, No, no, you're gonna humiliate us in the community you stay.
You don't do that. Be grateful to Allah. Just have summer. Because you should have, you know, what she's asking for is actually something.
If she's in suffering, at least have an intervention, at least figure out what the problem is, at least acknowledge her pain, or his pain for that matter. They have a right to have that acknowledged, instead of them being made feel guilty about them asking for something that Allah Himself made when a person has the right to feel respected. A person has the right to feel honored and dignified. A person has a right to feel loved, to feel like they belong, and if they're not feeling that and they come to their loved ones and say, I'm suffering, I'm not doing okay. They don't have a right to impose on them. What a lot of not, as if to say this sounds really bad, but
listen to what I'm saying. As if to say, Allah, I know Allah says it's okay. But I say it's not
Okay, so now Who are you going to listen to allow me, me. That's what it sounds like. And that's something really scary that we do. Making something haram that Allah has made, how long it takes all kinds of forms. It takes all kinds of it comes in all shapes and sizes. It can do with money. It can do with relationships, it can do with connections, you know, sometimes families have fights with each other. And you tell somebody, oh, you're not going to talk to that when again, don't ever talk to your uncle again. I hate your eye. You know, Father has a fight with his brother. So they have a fight with you. He tells his children, don't talk to him, don't talk to his kids, where
will you sit, you know,
I, if I have a brother, and I don't, but if I had a brother, and even if I had a fight with him, if my children, my children, they have their own relationships, they have their own responsibilities, they have an uncle, they have cousins, all of those relationships, I don't own them. I don't control them. Those are their relationships. I cannot come in the middle of that and say, You don't get to talk to your cousin, you don't get to talk to your uncle, you don't do this. You don't get to do that you don't create hell around you and I don't have that authority. The matter how remember, Allah hulak me when we do that we create corruption. We create chaos. And what we do is we deprive a
person of what they normally deserve. So in the last few minutes that I want to share with you, when when Allah revealed this, you know what he said at the end? He said to the Prophet, so why do you make haram for yourself? What Allah has made? Hello, are you doing so so you can make your spouse's happy, they'll tell him a lotta logic. And then the law says what law for and allies forgiving.
Allies forgiving and that doesn't just mean Allah has forgiven the prophet SAW the lesson of Allah is telling the prophet SAW something, something very important, very powerful. Allah is the only one who forgives.
Allah is the only one who truly forgives, human beings can try to forgive, but there's still something left inside. They can't help it. We just can't help it. We can't just completely let something go. Something might remain inside. You know, Yahuwah Salam was very hurt by his children. They kidnapped his favorite son and threw him in a well, and he couldn't have access to his son for his entire youth. And he spent so many years in jail and all of these terrible things happen because of his other sons. But eventually they apologized, they came to their father Yaqoob. And they asked him to make dua for them. And to apologize to him and he couldn't do it. He said, So first off,
I'll do it eventually. I can't do it right now. I'm too hurt. To Allah. However, he forgives this. This is important because sometimes we are trying to please Someone please Someone please someone because we think their feelings are hurt. And we're trying to earn their forgiveness. the only one who's forgiveness you should be trying to earn is allows origin with every other creation. If you messed up. If you ever said something wrong to your mother, or your father, or your husband, or your wife, or your brother or your friend, you said something wrong to them, you did something wrong to them, you should go to them. You should apologize, sincerely apologize and move on with your life.
You don't keep going back and apologizing over and over and over and over again. The only one you have to keep going back to and keep apologizing over and over again is who it's a large origin. It's a large origin and even a large origin tells us that when you go to him for any sin that you may have committed and you sincerely apologize to him Lucha de la Hema, they would have found a lot immediately willing to accept their Toba. Allah forgives people don't forgive. People say remember that thing? You did? Yeah, but I apologize for that. Not enough you didn't. You didn't apologize enough. You've only been apologizing for the last 10 years. I got another 30 years on my wish to go
for that one thing you said. So you need to keep on apologize. And this becomes a way of controlling someone. This becomes a way of them making her arm for you what is otherwise held on for you so out of guilt towards them, you deprive yourself things that are allowed for you. And Allah says Allah who is a fool, and he adds the name Rahim. Allah is loving, caring, when he made something halau for us because he loves you.
When he made something allowed for you is because He cares for you. He made something allowed for you because it's good for you. And nobody else will love you and care for you more than Allah. Nobody gets to tell you that something Allah has given you out of his love and care is harmful. If Allah has made something good, nobody else gets to redefine it is harmful or bad or no good. Nobody has that right. And you'll find, forget people who don't know the word of Allah, and forget people that don't believe in Allah. You'll have people who believe claim to believe in Allah claim to believe in this religion even even look like they practice this religion. And yet in their lives,
you find them making things harangue that Allah has made Khaled made me you know, imposing on people what they have no right to impose. You know, guilting people about what they shouldn't be guilting them about
You know, there are some such strange cases of these things because you know what's happened sometimes in our, in our culture, in different cultures, Pakistani culture, Bangladeshi culture, Egyptian culture, Moroccan culture, different cultures, we have expectations, as the last thing I'll share with you, these expectations can become very heavy. Yeah. So for example, when a when a wedding is happening, then there is an expectation that people are going to dress a certain way. And we have to have certain kinds of jewelry, or we have certain kinds of, you know, arrangements for guests, or certain kinds of food. And in order to do that everybody has to pitch in, the whole
family has to pitch in, because we're going to do this massive, you know, party celebration gathering, and there's going to be pictures being taken, you know, we have to post these things on social media, because otherwise how will ally accept it? You know, so we have to make sure that it looks good. So everybody has to you can't wear the same thing you wore last year, you have to buy something new. And we have to go pay an extra 1000 for that, and everybody has to pitch in. And somebody in the family says, actually, I think we're overspending, I don't think we should be spending money like this. I don't think this is a way to get blessings, a lot of this money could be
used for actually doing something for the poor, or those many, many of those in our community who cannot even afford to get forget, you know, get their daughter married, they can't even afford a you know, one animal to be slaughtered for aid. And maybe we can help them get one of their daughters married with some of this money and earn their daughters so that people that can afford it actually have blessings in their marriage instead of just pictures in their marriage, instead of just expensive stuff in their marriage. And then they're guilted Oh, you don't want to help the family? stuff for the law? What kind of how greedy, how selfish, are you? You don't want to help the family.
You're just you just want to take care of yourself. And this is again, somebody saying I have the right to not partake in what is not okay. I don't have to I'm not obligated. I'm not obligated to be part of frivolousness. I'm not obligated to do things because our culture expects them. A lot does not obligate me. And if I'm not doing it, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not doing anything wrong. As a matter of fact, chances are you guys are doing something wrong. You're the ones that are overspending, you're the ones that are being wasteful. You're the ones that are keeping up appearances, you're more concerned with pleasing people than you are even with pleasing Allah,
you're more afraid of the words of people, what comments are people going to say? What words are they going to say? Their words are heavier on you then allows own words. That's the problem. That's not okay. And so I decided that I'm not going to do it, you decide you're not going to do it. And now a pressure is being put on you that you're not a good family member, that you're breaking ties. Allah wants you to support the family. Allah wants you to be good to your family. He wants you to that's misuse of the word of Allah. Don't prohibit people what Allah has made allowed. don't impose on people what Allah did not impose what a lot did not impose. You know, I tell you guys this all
the time. And then my last minute I'll remind you, most of the wrongdoing that's talked about in the Quran is family doing family.
Most of the wrongdoing talked about in the last book. The Prophet size of them is worst opposition were his uncle's
Ibrahim Elisa is one of his worst opposers was his father,
Yusuf Ali Salaam, his brothers know how they salon his wife, daughter, Lisa, his wife, what do you find in the Quran, some of the worst opposition, some of the worst crimes that have been committed, some of the worst things that have been said have been said, by family to family. So yes, that will be a challenge in our families, that will be a challenge and the people that are closest to you, but you have to draw a line. You don't have to fight anybody. I'm not giving you this code. But so you said watch this video, and then we'll have a fight after that. No, no. That's what I want, either. But you have to be clear about who you're willing to please. Who are you willing to please? And
whose lines will you respect the lines drawn for Allah or for your benefit? And for those who don't understand them? It's actually for them. We have a homeboy lllt kanatal him, you read a lot. Oh, you have a Franco was Willie Collins. And, you know, by Eva, he says Allah gave you these laws. And he gave you what's what's allowed and what's not allowed to remove the burdens and the chains and the fetters that used to be on you. He wants to get rid of your burden for you. He wants to make you feel free. That's why he gave you this law. The law is not the burden. Culture becomes a burden. society becomes a burden but the law of allies not a burden. The law of Allah is actually freedom.
He says you read aloud your coffee funcom Allah wants to lighten your burden to have give you an easier life. And you were made weak, meaning this law is there because without this law, you will be crushed under other weights that you cannot carry. But this will make your life a lighter burden for you that you can actually carry. We have to turn back to the instructions of Allah, the halal and haram that Allah has given and not create our own versions of halal and haram because that way, we are only putting chains on ourselves.
We're only putting burdens on ourselves and we're only making lives of ourselves and those around us difficult may allow us which will make us of those who are truly able to free themselves and are able to express these concerns in a loving respectful way to friends and family barakallahu li walakum feel called Anil Hakeem. Whenever anyone er can be it was declared hacking.
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